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shiroganeryo · 1 month

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I don't know if you've answered this before but what do you predict will be the ending for DGrayman? I think we all think that Kanda (my boy's got literal death flags everywhere) and Allen will die, but what about everyone else? How will the world be saved?

I really apologize for taking so long to get to this ask, but I've been actually thinking the matter over and over. My answer is probably a little off the chart regarding to the actual question, but this is all I can muster with the current information we have (up to chapter 250). This will be a tad long but I'll try to keep it brief.

But the thing is: it's impossible for me to make a prediction. The beauty in Hoshino's writing is that, while she scatters little details for us to catch and plants seeds very early on, helping us find out certain reveals ahead of time (Allen being the 14th's host, Mana being the Earl; there were very early signs for things like these, things of the sort), knowing such information still isn't enough to give us a definite outline of how the story itself will play out.

That's masterfully done writing right there, and I admire her so because of it; not many shounen/seinen mangaka nowadays can pull this off with the same grace as she does.

Back to your question, much like the majority of the fandom, I believe Kanda will die at the end and there are two reasons for that: one is that it's been hinted at (we could even call it foreshadowing) since Kanda claims he wouldn't be able to die in peace without returning the favor to Allen - not to say he means anything other than "one day I'll die and then I'd take this regret with me to the grave", but we can only get the feeling he has dwelled on the thought (and also possibility) of dying, sooner than expected, especially with the weakened state of his seal.

The other reason is that this would be the most gratifying ending for Kanda, as he would be able to reunite with Alma. He lived his entire life searching for that person and longing to reunite, so that would be the most logical route to take - as well as the best, happiest ending possible for Kanda. After all the horrors the Seconds went through, they both deserve eternal peace.

As for Allen... call me crazy, but I believe there is a chance, albeit slim, that he makes it out alive. I'll need to bring up some things from Chapter 250 to be able to elaborate on this, so here's your warning not to click the Read More if you're avoiding spoilers.

One thing I've observed is that Hoshino plays a lot on word meanings (which unfortunately translation can't convey efficiently) as well as red herrings. Ever since we found out Allen's the 14th's host, he's been considered doomed to get erased so we're playing a clock-ticking game, waiting until that happens.

So it seems that there are only two possibilities: that Allen either gets erased by Nea, or that he dies, sacrificing himself for everyone's sake in the ensuing battle against the Earl that is possibly bound to happen. I can easily picture Allen doing the latter, but the latest chapters gave us something else to consider: Apocryphos' meddling.

We still don't know the full details as to why, but Allen is both deemed as an angel as well as a lamb of sacrifice to the Heart. Something makes me think Apocryphos might be trying to 'craft' the perfect host for the Heart by making use of Allen.

It just aligns with everything we know about Apocryphos as an entity: for someone that is a sentient Innocence whose existence gravitates around the sole purpose of protecting the Heart, why is it so obsessed with a specific accommodator, to the point it even quite literally turned Allen into a blank slate (Nea has confirmed so)?

I'm led to believe Allen is not the Heart, that would be far too easy and predictable. But that's not to say he can't become the Heart. We don't know if the Heart is sentient (all Innocence seem to have sentience to an extent regardless) or if it has an accommodator, and if there is one, if this person isn't out there waiting for the perfect candidate to pass the Heart on to.

This is all just speculation, of course. But it's something that's been on my mind for a while, as I've tried to understand Apocryphos' end goal.

And in the end, if Allen and Nea have become allies due to their shared goal (ending the war and saving Mana), that could also mean that they both die together, as that would be the reunion of Mana and Nea as one, as well as the reunion of Allen with the Mana he so loved.

But then comes in another valuable variable that is Link. It's highly likely that he might sacrifice himself and bring Allen back if he falls, but because of how Atuuda works, that would mean exchanging his own life for Allen's.

There are just a lot of things that could go either way, and that's how Hoshino is so good at keeping us guessing. I often say that I find theorizing anything that goes too far into the future of DGM to be pointless because of how sharply a new, unseen reveal might shift the current scenario.

The latest chapter is building up the expectation that Allen will meet his end soon, especially since the Zoogle Bookstore entered the picture. And that is exactly what's keeping me from being able to predict anything worthy of note; because what they unravel there will very likely be a major game changer not only to Allen but to all involved - which means, by extension, everyone involved in the Holy War.

Another thing keeping me from theorizing anything more solid is Lavi. As a Bookman, he's a witness to history itself, and his whereabouts/status are extremely relevant to map out an end game. The most popular theory is that he's the one telling Allen's story, as it seems the D. in the title refers to "Dear Gray Man".

I can, however, also see Allen as the potential narrator of this story. As for whomst this Gray Man is, only time will tell.

I could go on and on with this, and not get anywhere near what'll truly happen. It's difficult to reach a conclusion in what will happen at the very end for the aforementioned reasons, but if there's one thing I can say, is that this current universe's loop will be the one to end the Holy War, so the Black Order and the Clan of Noah should cease existing as organizations.

Innocence would very likely cease existing as well, having fulfilled its purpose, so all accommodators would be freed. With the end of the war, also comes peace for the Memory of Noah, freeing its hosts from the millenia-old anguish that bound them to a perpetually-destroying world. That would leave the remaining survivors free to do as they please with their lives, away from the war, at last.

First and foremost, DGM is a story about love and hope, even in the darkest of times, and most fans can resonate with such - it's not rare to hear from a fan how this series has helped them hang on when things were looking rather dim in their personal lives. DGM's story is a tragedy, but a beautiful, bittersweet one, just like real life. Thus while I don't see it having a perfect, neatly sanitized ending, I don't see it having a kind of overly dramatic 'everyone dies and the planet explodes' kind of ending either. It would go against everything Hoshino has built all along, after all.

I apologize if, in the end, this wasn't the kind of answer you were hoping for, especially with how long it got - and I did keep it brief, really! But thanks to you and whoever may be reading until here. ❤️

#there are a lot of scattered thoughts here but I hope it's a good enough answer #or at the very least something enjoyable enough to read #I'm looking forward to the next chapter next month #ask #DGM #spoilers warning if you're not up to date with the series!#sorry if there are typos and etc I'm especially tired today but I haven't been having much free time lately to reply when I'm more rested

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electrozeistyking · 19 days

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That’s sad,,, write then,,,

We are trying to! But my co-author and I are basically a pair of puppies with ADHD doing the zoomies, so I wouldn't expect it to be overtly soon. :3

#also i'mma call you the comma anon #give you a lil nickname because you seemingly been here a lot and that makes you cool :3 #Zeisty's Askbox #Comma Anon #COMA TYPO FOR FIVE MINUTES I AM SO SORRY COMMA ANON

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entriprises · 3 days

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buck & names

for the majority of buck’s life he’s been evan. the last 7-8 years of his life have fundamentally changed him, they define so much of who he considers himself to be and they mark a period of constant growth and understanding of himself. he hasn’t been buck for his whole life, although it certainly feels like it some days because of all that he’s gone through.

he grew up evan. should he ever return to hershey, georgia, virginia, arizona, florida, oregon, and the other million other places he’d at one point or another stayed in then they’d only know as much to call him evan. it’s how he introduced himself back then, even when his last name came up as a nickname one time or another through sports or any other culture he’d inserted himself into.

buck comes with his career, with firefighting. it’s not even meaningful when it comes to him, it’s just a way to separate him from the other evans in the academy. it’s not new, it’s not strange, and he slides into it quite easily. he’s been called by his last name before, and naturally it just shortens to buck. firefighting as a whole is something new, and a place where he truly starts to feel comfortable, even though he’s not taking it nearly as seriously. he associates the comfort with firefighting, and in that everyone calls him buck so when he gets to the 118, he corrects bobby. he tells him right there that everyone calls him buck. it’s not that he’s attached per se, it’s not quite his whole identity, he just likes who he is as firefighter buck.

the identity bit comes over time, and somewhere along the way firefighting is more than just something he’s doing, it’s very much his life. he cannot deal with a reality where he isn’t firefighter buck, and he refuses to accept one. he pushes through all of his recoveries because of it, and with that also comes the attachment to being buck, not evan.

when it comes up again, with his parents, they go for the obvious answer when addressing him: they call him evan, because why wouldn’t they? it’s part of the distance between him and his parents for them to call him evan, something not even his sister calls him anymore. when he tells her that he won’t have anything without firefighting, she assures him, “you will still be buck.” and when his parents call him evan he specifically says “buck, that’s what people who know me, that’s what they call me.” because fundamentally who he has become in his time as a firefighter, the people in his life, his found family are all things that are entangled with this identity as buck.

evan isn’t who he is anymore, and buck, being someone who has always seen himself in extremes and his own rigid frameworks (buck 2.0, buck 3.0), casts evan right into the past. still, it doesn’t leave him completely. his parents still slip up, he responds to evan, it’s still something that’s around, it’s just not how he carries himself. he’s buck, the firefighter, the guy who has grown and survived so much that sometimes it’s a little easy to get caught up in the jokes of being untouchable.

and then eddie goes and calls him evan once, and it’s like something else entirely. it happens just once, but it reaches through to buck in a way more than buck ever will because there’s this extreme idea of who buck is right? buck’s the strong guy, the survivor, the big tough firefighter. evan? evan’s the lost guy, the hurt kid, the side of himself he left behind, the one who didn’t ever feel like he mattered. evan’s the one who won’t brush aside what eddie’s trying to get through to him.

but then it really begins with tommy, and most importantly, buck doesn’t correct him. there’s no moment where he says to him at all that he prefers buck— and there’s been endless opportunities to do so. he welcomes it, turns his head at every call, and feels warmer from it. there’s someone who not only offers him a chance to explore a new side of himself, heal, feel relief, but also sees him as evan, and wants to know him as such (outside of the firehouse, because ultimately while it’s what introduced them and what gives them a lot to bond over it’s not what their relationship circles around/centers on/etc). evan is a reconciliation, at least the start of one. it’s a coming together of two extremes that buck has built for himself and hasn’t really tried to do before. more than just figuring out his bisexuality, realizing that piece about himself, buck gets to explore now with the whole of who he is.

#im so sorry about the length of this #i have a normal relationship with my name #that’s why this is eight paragraphs #also i apologize if this is full of typos and things that just don’t make sense im writing this during lecture & mid headache #i have been thinking about this a lot #e. buckley * headcanons #if youre here from fandom pls no reblog pls do not look at me

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trans-axolotl · 9 months

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i have so mcuh shit i was going to try to write tonight (the book chapter, the intersex art peice, sw guide) but when i sit down to try to read aynything my brains starts sliding around and cannot focus. when my body is exhausted like right now my dsylexia becomes like. impossible to cope with. tried switching to diffefrent fonts tried reading upside down instead of right side up and everything is just oozing. going to take a break and try again tomorrow

#personal #vent #sometimes my dsylxia is very frustrating. most of the time i have adapted and accomdated but right now #i dnont . i can't make it work #also im sorry im sure there are typos in here. i cannot fucking sepll on a good day! i rely on spellcheck #and i don't have the energy to go copy adn paste everything into the spellchecker ot catch the mistakes #it makes me so frsustrated when i just cant read and cant spllel! i dont' talk about being dyslexic a bunch on here but i am legitmately #pretty impacated by it. i literally cannot hand write things. my handwriting is not reabadble. theres a lot of fonts i cant read #reading is only really something i can do well when my body is not exhausteda or in snesory overload

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 1 year

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Bring Light To The Darkness

《for @magpie-trove. I don't know if fanfics are allowed as part of the @inklings-challenge, but if they are, this can probably count for my Christmas challenge offering.》

“In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. He came as a witness, to bear witness about the light, that all might believe through him. He was not the light, but came to bear witness about the light. The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world.

John 1:4‭-‬9 (ESV)

The first time she walked in the creaky, rusted door of Opened Door ministries, with their name printed on a colorful, vinyl-laminated sign on the window of the storefront they were in, she was seven years old. She'd just asked her mom to cut her hair and her mom had said no, that she needs it long for the winter to keep her warm, because they don't have the money for new scarves. Walking around the corner from their apartment, which at least still has heat even if the oven is broken, makes Stephanie think that maybe her mom was right.

Mom is on the phone with the landlord. Christmas is tomorrow and they had gotten a big turkey, but now, they can't cook it. Steph, who reads all the signs on the street as the schoolbus takes her past, had slipped into her big thrift-store boots and purple coat that was a birthday present this past year and snuck out the door while Mom argued with their landlord.

"Free Christmas meal," the sign offered, in large red text. There's smaller lettering underneath it that Steph hadn't been able to make out through the frosty windows of the bus, but the boy seated next to her who she thinks is a couple grades above her and always has his nose stuck in a book had reading glasses on and told her it said "all you can eat, noon to 6pm Christmas Eve and Christmas Day". Steph sits next to that boy because he's always warm, like as in friendly but also body heat. The bus doesn't have heat. At least Steph and her mom's apartment still has that, though, and so does the building that the Christmas dinner place is in.

Steph steps, or kind of shuffles because of all her winter clothes, into the storefront (which isn't a store) at 5:58pm on Christmas Eve. There's a lot of people starting to clean up, but she got in two minutes before the doors would have been locked, so she's lucky or blessed or something. A lady takes one look at the purple and blonde poof that is Stephanie Brown and grins, a really warm kind of grin, and asks her what they can do for her.

"My mom got a turkey for Christmas," Stephanie explains, because she doesn't want these people pitying her and thinking they can't afford their own food, "But our oven broke and they can't fix it yet. So I wanted to get us a Christmas dinner and I saw your sign from the schoolbus. So. Um." She shrugs, a swishy sound because her coat rustles against itself. The lady nods understandingly.

"Does your mom know you're here, though?" Asks a younger woman from over by a table that Steph stares at for a minute, eyes wide, because it's covered in sweets.

"I left a note."

There's a murmur, maybe a bit of a laugh. "Okay then," says the first lady, the one with the warm smile. "Let's get you and your mom some Christmas dinner."

And she's led over into the room with all the food, tables piled high with turkey (light meat for Steph, dark for Mom, and lots of gravy) and potatoes (Steph likes the cheesy ones best) and vegetables (that she accepts without complaint even though she doesn't like green beans). The lady helps her fill two big grocery bags with take-boxes of food and then lets her pick out whatever desserts she wants from the table she'd seen before. Steph leaves the store that isn't a store with enough food for a week and a chorus of "God bless you, Merry Christmas" that she echoes back even though she doesn't really know what the "God bless you" part means, because she didn't sneeze or anything.

The teenager who had been there had put a little piece of paper in the bag that Steph reads once she's home and in bed, happily drowsy from turkey and a huge piece of chocolate cake.

"Opened Door chapel services:," it reads. "Saturday, 6:30pm; Sunday, 11am. Youth service Wednesday nights, 6pm. Opened Door after school program daily 3pm-5pm."

Stephanie isn't totally sure what any of that means. She's never been to church before (She's at least mostly sure that "chapel" means "church," pretty much). She doesn't think about the little church that set up in a storefront for another few years, until she's nearly eleven and her dad is out on bail (which means that the apartment's heat hasn't been paid for because her mom decided to pay to get Dad back. Even at ten and a half, Steph doesn't understand that very well) and she's sick of hearing them argue.

She climbs down the fire escape and walks around the block to where she remembers getting Christmas dinner and a smile three years ago. It's Wednesday night and she doesn't know if she's old enough to be part of the youth stuff; youth usually means kids older than her, like Jason from the bus who she hasn't seen in school for the better part of a year. She doesn't just walk in like before, she knocks, since she isn't sure she's allowed at this stuff.

"Hi," she says, when someone comes to the door. It isn't anyone she recognizes. "You have... youth stuff tonight, right?" She shoves her hands in her hoodie pockets and decides she's not going home if she's turned away here.

But the kid who opened the door (hah!) just smiles and invites her inside. "What grade are you in?" He asks. "We have different small groups for different grades."

"Sixth," she lies, because 6th grade means middle school and none of the kids in the room look younger than that.

The guy nods. "Cool," he says. "You'll be with Lynn's group, then."

Lynn is, apparently, the younger lady who'd helped Steph on Christmas Eve nearly three years ago, and she recognizes the combination of long blonde hair and purple clothes immediately. Steph sits in the circle of kids just a bit older than her and smiles as they go around the circle and introduce themselves. This is, she decides, way better than staying at home in her room while her dad tries to convince Mom that he's helping them when he really isn't. At least these people actually do help other people. At least they invited her in.

They play a game a little bit like charades, but not quite, and then Lynn hands out soft-paged Bibles with plasticky feeling blue covers and the words Holy Bible, English Standard Version printed on the front. Lynn says a lot of words that Steph doesn't understand and several kids start flipping through the thin pages. Steph tries to read over the shoulder of the person next to her, who notices and stops what she's doing. Steph pulls back, hesitating.

"Hang on, Miss Lynn," the girl says in a lightly accented voice. "I think Stephanie needs help finding the right page."

Steph wills herself not to flush or curl into herself and hide, just lets the girl — Nadia — show her how the books and chapters and verse numbers work (she doesn't understand it still, but it will start to make sense in a couple weeks). When Nadia stops thumbing through the book, it says John 1 at the top of the page in bold letters. Everything else is in tiny print that Steph has to hold close to her face to read.

"The light," Lynn says in a slightly different voice than her usual one, "Shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."

Steph likes the sound of that. She stares at the words on the page in a way that only someone still young and curious and new to all this can. When the conversation, drawn out by Lynn's leading questions, draws to a close and people start to funnel out of the store (which is definitely not a store, even if Steph got food there once), she holds the floppy, thick book with the bold word Holy and wonders if anyone would notice if she took it.

She isn't like her father, though. She isn't a criminal even if she did lie about being in middle school, and stealing doesn't sit right with her. So she walks over to Lynn, in a corner talking to one of the older kids, and waits for a break in the conversation so she can butt in.

"Uh," she says eloquently, "Can I... take this home?" She waves the Bible in question.

Lynn smiles at her, a little naturally lopsided. "Oh yeah, that's what they're here for!" she says. "You can totally take one home! I hope we'll see you here next week...?" She offers, and Steph nods. Even without the offer of free food, she thinks she likes it here.

She goes to that youth group every week from then on. It isn't like, a huge revelation, but it's fun and it gets her out of the house and they always say "come on in!" all bright and happy when she walks up, like somehow the leaders and other kids all know that Steph needs an invitation (like some kind of purple-clad vampire, or just a girl who isn't used to being welcomed). Nadia helps her find Bible verses sometimes but mostly she does it herself, but she likes sitting by a girl whose name means hope.

She learns that, about Nadia's name, a few weeks before Christmas when she's fourteen and everyone thinks she's in tenth grade instead of ninth and she still hasn't corrected them on that, even though she feels crappy for lying. "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing," reads the feather-light page that Steph maybe will always be afraid of tearing. Nadia lights up even more than she's normally bright and warm, and she tells the group of a Russian family name passed down, almost like the handing of hope from generation to generation. Steph thinks the name fits her.

The light shines in the darkness, reads the verse they'd talked about the first time Steph went to the youth meeting. That's what she wants Spoiler to be; that's what she tries to make herself. She knows the Bible verse is about the Iight of God, but she can apply it here, too, can't she? She's all eggplant-purple and golden hair and her dad is full of darkness, Batman is full of darkness, too, even though she thinks he honestly tries not to be. And if God's light can't be overcome or understood by the darkness, then it makes sense that Stephanie — Spoiler — can't be, either. She won't be.

Saturday night in late autumn, and she's sixteen and not out as Spoiler because for once, her dad is at home. Of course it's the one time the power is out, too, and Steph runs smack into her father on her way to the bathroom in the dark. He grumbles at her, something low and frustrated about how she's always in the way and she was an accident, anyway, and Steph ignores it and leans back against the closed bathroom door and tries not to cry. Mom is asleep or high, she isn't sure which, and she's too old to run to her mommy like a baby because her feelings got hurt; but she suddenly feels unwelcome even in her own house, her own life.

Her father never wanted her, her mom barely does, and Batman sure doesn't want Spoiler around. She has a wristwatch with numbers that glow in the dark and when she checks it, it's 6:30, already dark outside as it is inside and as is creeping into her heart, and. And, and, and. She's never gone to an actual chapel service at Opened Door. At least she's pretty sure she's welcome there.

She shrugs a cardigan over her plain T-shirt and leggings, feeling strangely like she needs to make herself presentable, check that her face isn't blotchy from holding back emotions. She would put on makeup, if she had enough light to do it by. Instead, she pads quietly down the hall in a worn pair of hightops and steps in exactly the right places on all the building's stairs so that they don't creak. Batman may not want her, but she hasn't learned nothing from him.

There's music coming from inside the storefront when Steph opens the door of Opened Doors, slipping inside to warm yellow light and friendly smiles of greeting even though she's ten minutes late and has been lying about her age since before she was eleven. She's heard a little of this kind of music, sometime playing in the background on a radio when she first arrives at youth group. But this is different, with a guy playing guitar on a small stage set up in the main room and a woman next to him singing and swaying. Steph stands in the doorway, transfixed.

When the song ends, another man steps onto the stage with a cordless microphone, says something about offerings, but Steph has nothing to offer. She slips into a seat in the back row and scans the room for anyone she knows, but when the people onstage start playing another song, she watches them. This is different than anything she's used to from Wednesday nights, but it's just as warm. You give life, the woman starts to sing, You are love, and Steph pays attention because talking about God is different when it's singing instead of talking. You bring light to the darkness. You give hope, restore every heart that is broken.

For the second time tonight, but for a totally different reason, Steph blinks back tears.

By Christmas, she's Robin. Basically the epitome of a light shining in darkness, in her opinion. B is definitely dark enough, and so is the Batcave. Steph, then, blonde hair and colors that are definitely not hers and maybe shouldn't be, is the counterpoint to all that. She's not here because B wanted her. She's here because she wanted to be here. Wants to. And if B's approval lights her up a little bit, then that has nothing to do with anything.

Alfred has strung some lights in a corner of the Cave. Robin colors, Steph thinks. She kind of wants to ask if there's any extras she could borrow, just for the season, since the lights on her and Mom's old plastic tree stopped working a couple years ago. Steph stares at the lights and shifts her weight from foot to foot on the training mats.

"Christmas Eve and Day are high crime days," B is saying, focused on the Batcomputer instead of her. "Police often take leave for the holiday and most people are at home; there are a lot of break-ins and robberies." He glances over his shoulder at her. "We'll need to redouble our efforts on patrol this weekend."

Steph sniffs awkwardly, gaze firmly fixed on Alfred's Christmas lights. "Actually, uh..." she squirms a little bit. "I can't patrol on Christmas Eve. I... have stuff I need to do. Commitments, ya know?" She flashes what she hopes is a bright grin to counter Batman's sudden glower.

"Family?" He asks carefully, watching her for some reaction she doesn't give. As if she wants to spend the holiday with her arch-criminal father and a drug addicted mom. As if she wants to face that.

She shakes her head. "It's a volunteering thing. Like, community service? It goes on my high school transcript. I promised I'd be there Christmas Eve, so..." she shrugs. "If that's, like... okay."

Batman stares at her a few moments longer. "I not your parent, Stephanie," he says, softer than she expected. Somehow, the words sting even though they're probably meant to be reassuring, or at least just a reminder. It isn't a rejection. "Where are you volunteering?"

Steph shrugs again. "Just a place near where I grew up. They do a Christmas dinner thing every year." She leaves out the fact that she's gone to it, and not to volunteer. B is stupid rich, she doesn't need the reminder.

He nods. "Christmas night, then?" And she nods. Light in the darkness, invitation as a counterpoint to rejection.

This year, Steph is the one doing the inviting. She grins widely at everyone who walks over Opened Doors' threshold, refills trays of food donated by church members and volunteers. It's strange, being on the other side of all this, but she's been attending Saturday night services as well as youth group every week, and they'd asked for helping hands, so. That's what she is. Seeing the light from their front window shining out into the dark of a street with broken streetlamps almost feels like coming full circle.

Steph doesn't know that in a few months she won't be Robin anymore; in a few months she'll be dead and then alive and still feeling like she's dead. Like the light in her heart has flickered out. All she knows is that it's Christmas, and she's standing in the church's kitchen (which is really just a camp stove someone brought in and a microwave they keep in the back room for popcorn at youth events; all the turkeys were cooked at people's homes and brought in this afternoon) with Lynn, who has a gold ring on the hand she keeps resting on her heavily pregnant belly, and Steph thinks things are starting over new.

"I was scared for you, at first, you know," Lynn says conversationally, nibbling at a leftover cookie. Steph is unscrewing the propane tank from the camp stove so its owner can take it home, and pauses to look over her shoulder.

"Huh?"

Lynn chuffs a soft laugh, hem of her maternity dress bouncing. "You came in here all alone that first Christmas, no parents or siblings, and I was worried for you. And then you came to youth group and I thought, she's only here because it's warm. Maybe I thought you were homeless, or didn't have good heating, since you showed up when it was cold out."

Steph checks the outlet on the propane tank, then turns around and sits cross-legged with her back to it on the kitchen floor. "I mean, you're kind of right," she admits. "I did come for the warm. But not because of why you thought. I just... I mean, you know my home life isn't the best. You guys gave me a place to come, you know?" She looks at the floor, like she'd looked at Christmas lights in a cave a couple days ago.

Lynn hums. "I never thought you'd become such a staple, though. Never thought we'd end up here." She smiles, that same smile she'd given Steph the first time they met on a Christmas Eve like this one, when Steph was tiny and Lynn had been a high schooler. "I'm glad," she adds.

Steph grins, then, too, thinking of handing lonely people a bit of warmth and welcome. "The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it," she recites, because it feels fitting. "I don't think I ever stopped thinking about that after the first time. You guys are a light in the darkness." She turns back to the stove, carefully folding it up and leaning it against the wall.

Lynn hums again, then the pitch of her voice changes in a way that activates every single one of Steph's Spoiler-and-Robin instincts. The sound of hope becomes the sound of pain, and Steph swirls into action because she's wearing red and green and even though this time it means Christmas and not necessarily Robin, B's training is admittedly really good and she's grateful for it. Please, please, please, she prays in her head, absolutely incoherent because she's never delivered a baby before, and she still hasn't by the end of the night because two other women who had been volunteering usher her out of the way (she wasn't in the way) as the sound of pain becomes the sound of hope again. Joy and peace, too.

In spring, Steph dies. She isn't really Robin even though she's wearing those colors, and she spends the whole time her life is being taken from her praying, please, God, please, just as incoherent as ever. She's never been good at the praying part, always leaves the end-of-group prayers to Nadia or whoever else wants to say it. She wonders if Nadia will miss her. If Lynn will. She doesn't think B will, even though she misses him somehow even though he's with her at the end. Please, her mind screams, because it feels like the darkness is overcoming the light even though she knows in the end of all things that can't happen.

And then she's not dead again and she doesn't know what to feel. Grateful? Yeah, she is. But she doesn't feel like the hands and feet of light in the darkness anymore. She feels a little bit like a part of the darkness, and she spends a lot of time beating it back.

The floppy, blue-covered Bible she hadn't stolen still says Holy on the front even though it's beaten up and worn and she has, in fact, accidentally torn some of the delicate pages. The slip of paper listing the service times at Opened Doors is still in it as a bookmark, the words behind it highlighted in magenta Crayola marker, the closest color to purple she could find at the time. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. But the preceding verse stands out to Stephanie now, "In Him was life, and the life was the light of men." She stares at that for a long time and can't figure out how she feels about it.

Life and light, shared from Someone other than herself. That's where the light, the one that shines in the darkness and can't be overcome, the one that she's built her entire existence up around, comes from. She can't embody it by herself; Steph knows that now. Maybe she needs to be done trying.

The first time she walks in the creaky, rusted door of Opened Door ministries after she dies and is allowed to keep living (just like Jason Todd, the Red Hood, who she knows know is the same Jason she used to sit next to on the schoolbus in winter because he was warm and didn't mind her being there. She wonders if he's still warm like that.), she's seventeen years old and still hasn't cut her hair, because now that she's older she likes it long. She's still got a big purple coat (eggplant). It's Saturday night, her father is in prison and Mom is in rehab, and she hasn't been here since spring. The light still shines out the window of the storefront and the streetlight is still broken.

"It's Your breath in our lungs," sings the lady onstage when Steph walks into the sanctuary, a few minutes late as usual, and slips into the back row like she always does. "So we pour out our praise." Steph knows this song. It means more to her now, though. "Our hearts will cry, these bones will sing," says the bridge, and maybe that's why it's okay that Steph doesn't have the words to pray. "Great are You, Lord."

She goes to Opened Doors on Wednesday night that week, knocks on the doorframe. Someone opens it and tells her it isn't locked, and she says, "I know," and smiles. Lynn walks into the room with her baby on her hip and stops short when she sees Steph, bright golden hair and purple hoodie against the world, hands in her sweatshirt pocket almost sheepish in a way she never let herself be before.

"Stephanie!" She exclaims, breaking into the light smile Steph has come to know over the course of a decade. "I thought- we haven't seen you in months!" Lynn offers a one-armed hug that Steph gladly steps into, almost trembling with the force of being welcomed back so powerfully.

"I know," she mumbles, "Some... stuff happened." Death and new life counts as stuff, she thinks. "But I'm back now, so." She shrugs, and then blurts before she can stop to think about it: "I lied."

Lynn looks her up and down and pulls her back into the room they use as a kitchen, the microwave room. "When?" She asks gently, not judging or scolding, just curious.

Steph takes a deep breath, sighs it out. "When I first came here," she replies. "I was only in fifth grade at the time, but I didn't want you guys to like, turn me away because I was too young, you know? I really wanted..." she trails off.

"Wanted what?"

"The... light, I guess. To be invited in." Steph is holding back tears, now, and she isn't totally sure why. "I didn't think you would." Nobody else did. "I'm sorry I never told the truth."

Lynn shakes her head. "It's alright, Stephie," she says gently, which makes Steph cry more because her mom usually calls her that and she hasn't heard from her mom since she started rehab. Mom and Lynn are the only two people who have ever really called her Stephie. She'd forgotten what that felt like. "Honestly, I'm glad you did." She holds out a hand, and hesitantly, Steph takes it. "Plus," Lynn adds, "That means you have another year before you age out of youth group."

Steph hadn't thought of that. She'd almost thought they wouldn't want her around when they found out she lied. "Oh."

Steph isn't Spoiler anymore. She isn't Robin, either. She's Batgirl, now, taking up another legacy of light in the darkness. At first, she doesn't think it suits her. She confesses as much to Alfred, or maybe she's more complaining than anything else, unsure about living up to what B and Babs need her to be. Thanksgiving has just passed, and Steph is helping with Christmas decorations. She never did ask about borrowing some before, but maybe since she has her own place now, she'll ask this year.

"If Master Bruce and Miss Barbara think you are not exactly what you need to be," Alfred says simply, "Then that is on them, not you. You, Miss Stephanie, have something that unfortunately, they often don't." He fixes her in a long look, and bends to plug in a string of Christmas lights. "Light."

That's the moment Steph knows that Batgirl is going to be begging off patrol again this year, that as important as what she does at night is, there are things more important, and one of them is the light in the darkness. Alfred gives her a box of twinkling lights and decorations and won't hear of it when she promises to bring them back, tells her that every young person making their way in the world, in life, needs a good set of decor, so she ducks her head and grins about it and sets the box by the door before she runs downstairs. Like, downstairs, downstairs.

Tim is seated at the computer with Bruce hovering over his shoulder, both of them casting occasional glances over at Jason, still half in his Red Hood gear but leaning casually against the wall as they discuss some case Steph isn't involved in. They've been keeping her out of gang cases, she thinks, and anything to do with Sionis. Part of her bristles at the protectiveness while the rest of her is touched by it. She nods a greeting to Jason and walks up behind B and starts poking him, which gets a smirk out of Tim and a sigh from the man himself that she knows, these days, isn't actually annoyed.

"Yes, Stephanie?" He asks, tilting his head to look down at her. To think, she'd once been intimidated by that, thought he was like, actually looking down on her (and maybe he had been back then, at first). Not anymore, though.

"I'm dipping for Christmas again this year. Volunteer stuff, all that. I was wondering," she says slyly and a little shyly, like a little girl asking if she's allowed to take home a book called Holy, "If any of you wanted to join me." They should see that light, too. She wants to show it to them.

Tim looks up from the computer. "I didn't know you do volunteer work," he says. "Where?"

"Once a year," Steph replies, then falters. "It's uh... like a community Christmas meal type thing. There's a ministry that runs it in my old neighborhood, ever since I was a kid." She leaves the rest of that unspoken, knows that they know what's implied in that and isn't actually ashamed of it anymore.

"Wait," Jason pipes up, "Opened Doors?" He's staring at her, almost squinting with thought, and Steph nods.

"The one and only." She grins.

"Huh." Jason blinks. "I didn't realize you actually went."

"I didn't realize you could grow out of needing reading glasses," Steph retorts, and he grumbles. "But yeah. I uh... never stopped going, after that. And they never stopped inviting me in, so." She shrugs. "I helped out last year, too, and it was really nice." She turns back to Tim and Bruce. "I figured I'd ask, at least."

Tim frowns. "Well, I think we're skimming over the fact that you and Jason knew each other as kids," he says slowly, looking mildly perplexed.

"Same schoolbus," they both reply in unison.

Bruce clears his throat, then, which is a very quick way to get the attention of all of his kids including Steph, who isn't exactly his but isn't not, either. "If you don't think my presence would cause too much commotion," he says, "I would love to join you."

Steph tries to pretend like she isn't dying (coming alive) inside from happiness and acceptance. "Everyone's pretty chill." She breaks into a grin. "They'll love you."

"Hn." Bruce looks like he's suppressing a smile, and looks over at Tim, who shrugs.

"I'm in," he answers.

"Am I invited, too?" Jason asks. "Or would a vigilante crime lord be too out of place in a church?" He says it sarcastically, shooting a halfhearted glare at Bruce as he does so. But Steph thinks maybe he's actually asking.

"You don't have to talk about it," Tim sighs, exasperated. "Why are you like this."

But Steph just smiles wider and thinks of warmth from a storefront window. "You're invited."

Dick tags along, too, when he gets in from Bludhaven on Christmas Eve. Steph doesn't ask who's handling patrol, because she doesn't want to ruin this by reminding anyone of their other responsibilities, and she just assumes that Bruce has that all figured out. She can trust that, now. She carries a box of Alfred's pastries over the threshold of Opened Doors, letting out warmth into the cold and light into the darkness (the nearest streetlamp is still broken. She doesn't think it's ever going to be fixed.) as the boys and Bruce trail after her.

She's still got a big purple coat, this one not from a thrift store (it was an early Christmas present from B) and her hair is frizzed out over the fur-lined hood and she's absolutely certain she still looks like a poof. She's golden and purple and she grins madly back at Lynn and Nadia, who greet her with warmth as soon as they see her.

"I brought helping hands!" she exclaims brightly, nodding over her shoulder at the family who isn't quite her family, but who keep welcoming her into theirs anyway.

She finally, finally gets how to be a light in the darkness. Because the light doesn't come from just her, or just the church lights or the brightness of a welcoming smile. It comes from Something more, Something bigger. She just has to accept the invitation to it. And then she can turn around and open the door for others, the way it was opened to her. And the darkness, whatever it may contain, can't overcome that light.

She's going to call her mom tonight, wish her a merry Christmas. Figure out what she wants to do about college. Write a Christmas card to her father, send it to the prison even though she doesn't really want to, would rather let him rot. But right now, she's offering light the way it was once and is still offered to her, and it's warming her inside and out. It's Christmas Eve, and there's life here.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Romans 15:13

In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

John 1:4-5

#the song is Great Are You Lord by All Sons & Daughters btw #it's like... a staple in every random nondenom church I've been to in recent years #like!!! it is SO versatile?? even from a logistical perspective you can do it with one(1) instrument and one(1) voice #and it's so simple and easy to sing along to and so POWERFUL???#I've heard it so much recently that I'm almost used to it but writing this actually made me listen to it a lot and it's hitting me #really hard #along with that john 1 passage #anyways Lynn is my new favorite OC maybe. she's like everybody's big sister #and what i aspire to as a youth leader #also: this is what i was vagueing about when i made that post about ''timeline what timeline'' bc i have NO idea what's going on here #like.. jason is semi-chill with the family and yet damian and cass aren't here. sorry i just... did not want to try and fit #any more characters into this skskksskfndnwk #Lu writes #I'm gonna go a final proof on this later so if you see any typos. I'm so sorry #and on the off chance this is allowed for inklings-#inklingschristmaschallenge #theme: light #batfam #steph brown

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bumbleblurr · 2 years

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LITERALLY THO like i hate how tfa bumblebee is reduced to a “so random! 😝🤪” only silly idiot prankster kinda guy when like. He’s smart! He’s caring! Yes he can be silly and yes he can be a bit reckless but he loves his friends and he can figure out how to care for them (like where he and bulk are comforting sari 🥺) and also figure out the best strategy to defeat whatever villain of the week is there! TFA bee means so much to me and i am also so excited for earthspark. Continuities where bumblebee is not the kid appeal character my beloves

LICHERALLY !!!! Like I love Bumblebees silly fun nature thats why he's one of my favorites ever, BUT IT DOESNT MEAN he can't be more than that.

Tfa in particular bothers me bc like. It's my fav bumblebee bc he has more bite and spunk (due to being based more on hot shot), but then. They never. Truly take him as seriously as other characters (except maybe bulk but that's bc hes also not taken seriously,)

which is so absurd bc he has some Legit shit going on with him that should fuck him up!! His whole career, his dreams, got flushed down the toilet bc he was unfortunate to have an instructor that doesn't like him and doesn't give him a chance (except when he did 1 singular time and then he immediately sent him to space repair duty for doing the noble thing and taking the fall for bulkhead)

And he doesn't get over this. He is still depressed about it when he says to Longarm "at least one of us achieved their dreams" in like the saddest tone ever (I think it's literally the saddest line delivery bee gives in the entire show) and he talks abt how no one believed he would amount to anything in the trial of megs script reading.

I'd argue his general behavior reflects this too (though idk how intentional it was), bc hes always like attention seeking- approval seeking. He wants to appear to Earth like he's a hero so he can feel successful (and that still went down the drain bc the humans started hating the autobots later)

But do they ever take time to address this issue and sympathize with him? No <3 instead they act like bee has no issues at all, to the point it's like "wasp is suffering so much, bumblebee wtf is wrong with you. YOU CANNOT RELATE TO LOSING EVERYTHING you just can't. nothing bad has ever happened to you. Go play videogames you stupid motherfucker" not that wasp isn't suffering but cmon. don't act like bee didnt have his entire career fucked over like it's not a serious thing

Not to mention as you said he has multitudes to him, he's caring and compassionate! He's quick witted and has lots of skill! He's not just a bumbling fool- Sentinel is wrong about that! (His assessment of ppl is not rlly accurate at all btw, he called bulkhead "bulk and no brains" when that guy is literally the leading expert on space bridge tech)

I am rlly excited to see earthspark bee bc its like. I think he's going to have the same kind of wise-cracking spunk tfa bee has BUT he is in a mentor role now. So there's a good chance he won't be reduced to being a silly jokester, bc he has to have some seriousness to teach (and thus the writers will treat him more seriously) also there's already those earth bots that are probably going to fill up that kid appeal role anyway

tldr: I love tfa bee's personality but I think his writing is lacking bc it doesn't take him as seriously as other characters, and I hope earthspark bee takes what's good abt tfa bee but gets better treatment from the writers

#sorry this took forever to respond i had to get all my thoughts together and thats hard for me sometimes akhdkfh #anyway #another reason i hate that they dont take tfa bee as seriously that im not gonna put in the text part of thia post #i think its part of the reason will insist hes a kid. like a literal child.#bc they took him less and less seriously over the course of the show #so he was just relegated to the guy that tells jokes and plays viddy games & hangs out with sari #and bumblebees voice got higher pitched #bc first ep bee. is much deeper pitched than s3 bee #so this all together makes ppl say shit like ''LOOK hes obviously teen coded'' like no thats bees character degrading as the show went on #and this is particularly annoying to me bc then they certainly wont take bee seriously either #and Not even acknowledge how bee has an innately adult struggle of how he couldnt pursue his dream career #bc they dont see him as the adult he is and then thus they dismiss the existence of this conflict he has #and then continue the cycle of ''bee has never had anything bad ever happen to him so hes carefree and silly all the time''#not that other ppl take him seriously went they dont see him as baby. they often still treat him like a baby anyway #or still act like he is all carefree and has no struggles and is just a snot nosed twerp #or just reduce him to being. sex appeal? and just make his whole character revolve around sex #though that problem is not exclusive to bee lots of characters get reduced to just sex #regardless its just simply hard to win as a bumblebee enjoyer in this world when u are also a pretentious hater </3 #🐝 could you repeat the last part? 🟦#oh there are several typos in the tags here I'll fix them later when im on my laptop

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420fps · 1 year

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I am watching tubbathon in shock basically. Chat held it around an hour all night AND day. I was so sure it'd end at 10am today. I went to bed, woke up, it was still going around an hour.

NOW ITS 10PM. THEY HIT HAPPY HOUR, BROUGHT IT BACK UP TO AT LEAST 25 HOURS. I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS.

#my money was on this lasting 1-2 weeks.#and then ending at 10am today. just by watching the timer tick down.#and having been here for this last year.#I am so blown away holy shit #tubbathon #tubathon #tubbo #mine #i cant really put it into words its like. i donated a lot to this. but im ready to let it die.#WHO THE FUCK ARE ALL OF THESE PEOPLE 😭😭😭 WHERED YOU COME FROM WITH 50 GIFTED LMAO???#sorry typo. my money was on this going 2-3 weeks*#based off last year going 9 days with a max clock of 80ish. while this year hit 120 #BUT DAMN I NEVER THOUGHT THIS

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cavewolf · 2 years

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splatoon villians are weird. like they try to wrangle with the idea of 'these bad guys arent all bad' while still, consistently, characterising them as all bad

#like tartar is literally just an ancient ai fulfilling its programmed purpose so it has little automony.#its disappointed in squid civilisation for not being human / smart so wants to destroy it but like . giant evil lazer style #grizz is the last of his kind on the PLANET that he knows of so obviously he's going to get lonley and mad after 100s of years #but he also speaks in business slogans and puns nd shit. but hes kinda tragic if you put a bit of thought into it. if only he knew judd #and obviously octarian society is pretty shit and in constant poverty so you can justify stealing the zapfish to provide power #for your people but it is hard to give credibility to someone who is going to quote dubstomp your face #i know its a kids franchise but its funny to me lol #splatoon 3 spoilers #theres a lot of typos here sorry i cant edit tags -_-

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vvanessaives · 1 year

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BOUGHT THE CUTEST STUFF FOR RAOUL I'M SOBBING MY EYES OUT

#rena.txt #a bunch of treats AND TWO SPECIFIC CHRISTMAS ONE ASJCJDJSJF idk if you all know what panettone is but it's basically our signature #christmas dessert and i found one for dogs it was called CANETTONE i was sobbing in the shop fr AND THEN A BISCUT SHAPED LIKE A CANDY CANEA #AND THE THING IS THAT CANE IS DOG IN ITALIAN SO U KNOW...CANETTONE...CANDY..CANE!!!!! i'm sorry but those dog puns make me insanely happy #i just had to buy them all. the canettone was also like 'il canettone per il tuo cucciolone' AKFJSKF I LOVE IT #i alteady gave him one of his other treats i bought and he was wagging his tail so fast and idk it filled my heart with joy bc i already #said this before but this year he began losing his eyesight due to cataracts so technically he probably doesn't even see that well my gifts #for him but idk..he looked so happy..i not crying rn u are...#i made lots of typos here i'm not going to fix i was emotional...akfjskfksl

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loregoddess · 1 year

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I'm curious, what would your ideal FE be?

And do you have any particular FE concepts in mind?

Hmmm, I've been thinking this over since you sent it to me, and it's hard to say because there's a lot of things I like that I dunno if they'd actually work together, if that makes sense? Mostly I just have a lot of thoughts about things I'd like to see in a FE game, which I can write out. Under the cut bc, length (it is Very Long, I'm so sorry). Also fair warning that I'm kind of rambling with some direction and organization, but this was all very train-of-thought while I wrote.

Like, ideally, my first thing would to be to get rid of all gender-locked classes. They're absurd. Fates got the idea right by getting rid of them, honestly (although I think women should be allowed to be butlers and men maids, as a treat, even though I know those two classes were literally the same class w/ different aesthetics). I don't have any specific wants for which classes should appear, be added, or be dropped really, just so long as the classes make sense for the overall story (Fates once more takes the prize for having the most narratively-appropriate and creative classes). I would like to see some really weird classes though, like the wolf riders in Engage are Very Cool bc wolves, and I want more weird stuff like that. Give me people riding skeleton animals, or giant bugs, as well as bears and moose and all manner of creatures that actually exist. I mean heck, historically camels and elephants were used as mounts, and we've yet to see either in FE. I also want more diversity and creativity in the infantry classes. Again, whatever fits the aesthetic and themes of the story, but I feel like we only get a handful of really weird infantry classes every now and then if we're lucky. Mounting/dismounting should be a permanent mechanic as well, there's nothing more satisfying that sticking a flier in archer range and then having them get off their flying beast.

Also weapon durability should stay gone, I hate weapon durability so much. Although I do like how combat arts and spells worked in Echoes and Three Houses, but like, the mechanics need to be tweaked. The easiest solution would be to simply have like, an attack power meter or something similar that characters could draw on to use combat arts and spells. Also, rather than locking combat arts to specific weapons a la Echoes, have is so that each character either has unique combat arts (and spells), or that they can learn combat arts and spells from specific weapons that they've "mastered" by using a certain number of times in combat, which they can then carry-over to a different weapon.

I also liked how 3H allowed any class to use any weapon, but I think this also needs to extend to magic, so that magic can be used with any class as well. This would open up a lot of opportunity for the player to really experiment mixing and matching classes, weapons, and magic with different units, which I think would be a lot of fun to play (based on how much fun I had with similar mechanics in 3H), and offer a lot of replayability for the sheer madness of trying new things with new characters. This will also do away with a lot of "I love this character, but their stats suck and they're nigh unusable" that sometimes occurs, since the player could theoretically just try out different combinations until they got something that worked (RIP to all the people who said Ignatz wasn't a good unit, I ran him through the thief/assassin line and gave him some magic, and he was a crit machine by the time I landed him in mortal savant, I want more madness like that honestly).

Obviously, having an AP pool would also require mechanics that replenish the pool during battle, which could be any variation or combination of skills, specific actions taken on the map (resting on a specific tile, attacking normally, etc.), or even adding in a special staff. Speaking of, staff durability has to go too, I'm so tired of needing to buy staffs. Also, I know a lot of magic in FE is either "a single spell stored in a tome" (most games) or "spell that character can personally gain access to" (i.e. Echoes, 3H), and like, cool beans, but I think, ideally, I'd want like, actual grimoires or other sorts of magical foci (crystal balls, wands, scepters, magic cards, the possibilities are literally endless). Either the magic weapon allows units more powerful magic attacks (if units had magic specific to them), or "taught" the unit specific types of magic (i.e. a Fire Grimoire might teach a unit fire, elfire, and bolganone, or something along those lines). Also, I want there to be a magic triangle the same way weapons get a triangle, although how that should be arranged (for both) would vary based on what types of weapons and magic the game actually contained.

Aside from what I'd like to see out of classes and battle mechanics, I don't have too many other things to wish for. I really am one of those rare "actually I really do play the game for the mechanics" FE fans. I'd want an interesting, and consistently written, story, mostly. Engage actually hit the story notes perfectly in my opinion, all the characters were about equal in their characterization--even the women were as diverse and interesting as the men--unlike the rampant sexism in Echoes or the uneven characterization depth of 3H, or the unrealized potential due to :too many characters" in Fates; Awakening was fine too, but Engage really polishes the support-based characterization to a shine. So I'd want more of that, like, even if a character is a side character, they should have interesting supports that build their characterization, and I want every character to be about equal in their writing (I know protags obviously get more attention, and that's fine).

Generally I feel like the model for supports is fine, although I think it'd be interesting to have group supports of 3+ characters to contrast the one-on-one of the current support model, just to really add more depth to the characters outside of what they get from the story. Also, while I liked that there was a lot more platonic supports in Engage, I really do miss seeing different paired endings, so I'd honestly bring back S-ranks between non-protag characters, but like, maybe not too many, if that makes sense? Awakening and Fates' supports suffered a bit from the "every man and woman can S-rank every other unit of the opposite gender bc of the child units", whereas I feel that limiting character supports per character really helps to focus the writing in a stronger way (Echoes and Engage did this the best, although I will give kudos to 3H for its unique take on supports, although the roulette of paired endings was...not well-implemented at all). But I also want there to still be a lot of platonic supports, I dunno. Mostly I just want well-written and interesting supports.

Supports aside, the only thing I'd want from the main story--aside from "well-written, consistently written", would be to Not Do whatever the writers were trying to do in 3H. It's my unpopular opinion, but (for as much as I love the characters and gameplay) the story writing just isn't that good or consistent in 3H. Fates, even with it's shitty localization, is more consistently written, and more strongly written, than 3H. FE has never actually been about war a critique of war (go to MGS or like, Triangle Strategy for that). FE flourishes narratively when it's a little goofy, and completely earnest, and focused on a few key narrative themes. I dunno what I'd want to see specifically for those themes, because I enjoy all sorts of stories, but yeah...(although to be fair, FE would probably fail as a cosmic horror story--or as any type of true horror--so I wouldn't want that I suppose, despite loving cosmic horror). Also, no split-timelines, multiple routes, etc. Just one storyline. I don't hate how Fates and 3H use multiple storylines, but...I prefer a singular story arc.

The music has been really good for basically every game, so I'd be fine with the current composers being allowed to do whatever they please. Now the art direction...I have a lot of conflicting thoughts because, on one hand, I know why a lot of the things I have personal beef with exist from a production standpoint (almost everyone has one of like, four body model types in Engage and it drives me insane bc there is NO body type diversity, but also for the modelers, it was probably more cost-effective to just have a handful of models for each class to swap out character heads and palettes for class changes, but I still hate the lack of body diversity, but I also understand why it would be easier, but...and so on).

That said, if we are talking what my absolute ideal would be, I just, really, really want diverse character designs. I want many different body shapes and sizes, I want lots of different skin tones (and please enough with the nigh grey-skinned characters), I want people to have actual noses and more than one or two nose shapes, I want crooked teeth and wrinkles and other "allegedly unflattering" physical appearances for characters who aren't evil, and just, I want the character design to really push beyond the whole "aesthetically pleasing based on the current sense of what is considered aesthetically pleasing" that I've seen in...too many media. Also enough with making all villains "ugly" (or the weird "big tiddy evil lady" trope, we've moved beyond demonizing women by making them sexy femme fatales), like, as much as I love the cartoonishly evil villains, sometimes the caricatures are just, tiring and uninspired. Honestly, Heroes is pulling more weight in the "interesting villain designs" department (as well as Kozaki just pulling all the weight in trying to have more diverse designs for women for Heroes), and just, we need more of that in the mainline games.

Also, for as far as like, animations and cutscenes and stuff, I feel like Engage made a lot of progress with it's pre-rendered cutscenes (they're back to being on par with the animations for Awakening and Fates, which had the best pre-rendered animated cutscenes of the games I've been using as examples, in my opinion), but the in-game cutscenes reverted back to the characters standing around in a circle talking a la 3H. We'd never get something like Sumia punching Chrom on the screen in either 3H or Engage, and that's a real shame bc the 3D models do look a lot more complex and pretty than the little polygon people of Awakening, Fates, or Echoes, and yet the in-game cutscenes don't do anything with them. Again, I get that from a production standpoint, having a handful of stock animations for body language and then setting the characters in a circle in a skybox to talk is easier and less-intensive cost-wise, but damn does it really suck the life out of the story at that moment. If it wasn't for the stellar voice acting, then scenes would really fall flat I think. So yeah, more character design diversity all around, better utilization of 3D assets.

And that's...where I think I'm gonna call this a post. I don't have any particular concepts for a hypothetical FE game, partly bc any time I think, "I wish this narrative device or type of story existed" I just end up taking it and turning it into one of my many personal original project ideas instead. Which is...probably why I don't have a lot of AU ideas ever, bc part of me figures if I'm gonna change that much from canon, I might as well just make up my own thing entirely and be bound by no rules except my own. But since I can't see myself getting into game coding and trying to make my own game anytime soon, I can at least think about the types of things I'd like to see in a FE game, though they may never come to be.

#this was a really interesting ask and I had to think about it a lot #but as I result I talked twice as much as I normally do #so yeah this is...very lengthy I am sorry #also I wrote it all before going to bed so apologies for typos and stuff #alas I will regret staying up this late tomorrow BUT I wanted to write down my thoughts so...here we are #unsuspecting-person #I still don't have an ask tag

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