#a lot on my mind

[socialbutterfly19]

I hate the nights

#long night #sleeplees night #a lot on my mind #do what’s best for you

[serenityquest]

#a lot on my mind

[jasonsthunderthighs]

Sorry I haven't been postin lately.

I got grounded.

#this is obviously a joke #I've just been depressed and not well lately #I'm NOT havin a good time #I've been MIA EVERYWHERE lately #a lot on my mind #very suicidal #death has been on my mind and I just wanna die #sorry for the rant in the tags #rant in the tags #rant into the void #the void is quite #I need to shut up #Shut up G #not DC #not DC related #personal

[pillar-of-light]

New best friend applications are now being taken. Im tired of being heartbroken. So it's time to try to start anew. So please, someone reach out to me.

#best friend #heartbroken #gotta move on #idk how much longer i can do this #can't take much more #lets talk #reach out #lets be friends #bored #message me #cant sleep #a lot on my mind

[laevi-somnus]

I think at this point a fight between ylfa and La Bête is coming and I'm so excited for it. These two are the same, while also being completely different.

Here are my thoughts

Ylfa did not want to eat the wolf, but had to to survive. While la Bête ate her captor with absolute delight.

The moment when those two spoke in the library ylfa realized that she faced someone who truly embraced all aspects of being a beast, especially the gruesome parts and she thrives on her willingness to exact violence. Which makes sense in a way since la Bête took the power from her captor to become something mightier, someone who isn't helpless. La Bête isn‘t evil, she is being herself, truly every living out every part of her soul.

The same can‘t be said for our best girl.

Ylfa is afraid of cruelty, she wants to be kind and seen as such. I think seeing someone is the same as her but who doesn't hold the same fears as her scares her a bit (Especially knowing that la Bête might use violence on her and would have no hesitation about it probably).

I do hope tho that that she is "redeemable" cuz there is big hairy bloodthirsty sister vibes here.

#neverafter #dimension 20 neverafter #neverafter spoilers #la bête #ylfa snorgelsson #a lot on my mind #love them #spoilers about the princesses

[sarayu-sunrays]

serious question but is there anyone out there who really truly deeply knows exactly who they are... who doesn't doubt everything they do because what if something different was meant to happen?

#avani shiposts? #avani overthinks #a lot #avani #desiblr #desi teen #a lot on my mind #avani thinks

[nitro502]

I have three binders (ordered two more), a packer, packing underwear, a strap to hold a packer separately, and I’ve ordered a few pairs of shoes with like 2 inch platforms. I even wore a binder while out shopping with my mom. It’s made for comfort so it doesn’t bind the best, but if you know me it should still make an obvious difference. But my mom still hasn’t seemed to pick up on it. Sometimes she says or does something that makes me think she knows. But then she says things that make me think she has absolutely no clue. I feel like I should come out to her and have a conversation about it before I just start presenting. But idk how to even begin that conversation. And I’m scared about when my dad comes back from his business trip in a few days. He’s slowly been getting more and more conservative over the past few years. I’m pretty sure he thinks all trans people are perverts or something. And his mother, my grandmother, is extremely conservative and a Trump fanatic. She will definitely disown me or something. But my dad talks to his mom on the phone every day. I don’t want to cause issues between them. I low key was kinda hoping I could stay in the closet until she dies, but I’m starting to suffocate in here. It feels awful to say, but I feel like I lost the wrong grandmother. My mom’s mom was very open and accepting. The things she said weren’t always politically correct, but she never hated anyone for who they are. It makes me sad to think she never got to meet the real me. My aunt’s wedding is in September. I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid and wear a dress. So the clock is ticking. If I want to come out before that I’m running out of time to tell everyone and get a suit. The dress wasn’t too expensive though so I’m not super worried about paying my mom back for that. And I kinda want to come out in June just to be cliche. Idk if I want to change my name yet or even what I would change it to. I’m not even 100% sure on my pronouns. If I want to use he/they like I do on here or just he/him. And idk what to do with my hair. I’ve been going to the same hair salon for forever. They do men’s hair too but they never actually listen to me about how I want my hair. So idk if I trust them to respect me wanting a more boyish cut. But idk where else to go. My hair is getting too long and my ends desperately need a trim though. At least I work a union job now so I know they won’t fire me for coming out. I am nervous about how coworkers and customers will react though. I am so scared and nervous about all of this in general. But I’m also really excited. A big part of me always thought I wouldn’t live to see 30. But instead of dying I’m being reborn.

#word vomit #me ranting #sorry there’s just #a lot on my mind #many big emotions #trangender

[smoove-b]

That dog somehow reminded me I’ve started collecting these.

I apologize that these two are unattributed.

#a lot on my mind #I smoke like this #unattributed #sometimes i want the weed to make me scared

[sohereisthisasshole]

sometimes i see takes about how stories about queer people struggling with homophobia aren't needed anymore because people aren't as homophobic as they were. and then i remember the pride parade that happened in my country where teenagers, just children still, got attacked with heavy objects and beaten up by homophobes for not even attending the parade but passing by. i remember all my friends who come back home and are too scared to even mention anything that has to do with being queer because they might get kicked out and cursed out. i remember that gay people are too scared to wear any accessory with a rainbow on it because of potential aggressors jumping them. something something people forget that in some countries queer people still struggle and are never safe.

#its completely understandable if you want to read happy pick me up gay stories its up to you!! but dont think that stories about #someones experience of being gay in an awfully homophobic country arent needed #a lot on my mind

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[home-owner-vergil]

right now. i want to explode.

#minor rant #minor vent #vent #rant #angry #sad #depressed #depression #alone #lonely #loneliness #a lot on my mind #mental health #mental illness #mentally ill

[pianokantzart]

A little obsessed with the "utterly burnt out & can't quite figure out how to make it work in this economy" depiction of Mario in the concept art.

Look at him. He's so tired.

#You just want to give him a hug and a crisp 20$ #Makes me wonder if they were planning on having Mario with a lot less self confidence at the beginning #which explains the ''Super Luigi Bros'' logo #It would've been a lil weird but I'm also kinda here for it #I'm rolling this around in my mind as an AU #Super Mario Bros #Mario Movie #Mario movie concept art

[ruporas]

dragon meat, you, and me

#marcille donato #falin touden #farcille #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #tw blood #tw body horror #tw gore #as a normal farcille fan this revival has been on my mind since i first read it and getting to watch it is like yippee!! #like messy revivals are everything - the consequences that will haunt u for the rest of the time they are alive #the initial hopeful moments where it all seemed well but quickly descend to That not being the case - losing not only the bit of evidence #evidence that your dream may work out but also someone you deeply care about in the process… marcille my Beloved #ofc wholly thruout the journey - at the forefront of it - getting falin back was the most crucial point but so wuickly :(( it was lost #on the other end its crazy to think about the compoments of falin now - human - dragon (dungeon) - marcille’s magic and desperation #the food the crew cooked (digested) - she is made of many parts!! #also i did not realize how medical it feels to draw smth like this. i dont usually explore the inner parts or use a lot of blood #in my work so rendering everything and looking up refs it felt quite magical (?) #ruporas art

[gltzgghln]

#razzle dazzle #bright shadows #oc talk #worldbuilding #speculative biology #making this bc ive been wbing but idk what to post first #a lot on my mind

[hennytingispossible]

seems like me being honest drives people away but why would they want someone to be delusional w them?

#a lot on my mind

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.