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thatgoblin · 3 months

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If I'm There

Summary: You hadn't seen or spoken to him in over a year, but now you have to track down your ex-husband over unpaid parking tickets. It was supposed to be easy, but seeing him with his new partner made it anything but.

Soulmates AU, Simon/Johnny/Reader

Warnings: so much angst, past child death, alcoholism, divorce, heavy stuff, but happy ending.

A/N: I'm not completely pleased with it, I don't feel very strong with Simon and Johnny’s characters in this, but posting anyways. It's part of a series I had written a while ago, but it works as a one shot too. Song is 'If I'm There' by Bad Omens.

“Riley! I got a job for you!”

I looked up from the paperwork I had been doing, bored out of my mind before stuffing it into the file it had come in.

“Yes! Farah, love of my life, light of my heart, tell me it’s a good one,” I said, walking over to get a look from her.

“Seems you’re on the hunt for a blast from your past,” the dark haired woman said, handing me a file. “12 unpaid parking tickets and has not shown up to court.” I opened the file, wanting to throw it away immediately, but seeing the large bounty on it, I kept it. It wasn’t often that amount was put out on people for nonviolent crimes and I wasn’t about to pass up something so easy. “Also a second one. 4 unpaid speeding tickets, 3 failure to signal tickets, and 1 ticket for having a pet off leash. . . An emu.” Farah handed me another file and the bounty was just as much.

“And a partridge in a pear tree,” I said with a snort. “Merry Christmas to me.”

“It’s April,” Farah said evenly before turning back to the computer.

“Well, it’ll feel like Christmas when I turn these two idiots in,” I said, taking their addresses to shove into my back pocket in case my first plan didn’t work. “With a nice bonus for you too.”

“Oh happy days,” Farah said dryly.

“You know, you could be a bit more cheery about life,” I said, folding the legal paperwork I needed before putting it into my jacket pocket.

“I could, but then we’d be friends and we can’t have that,” Farah said, not looking back.

“Of course, we wouldn’t want that,” I said, grabbing my phone from my desk. “Alright, I’m off. Hold down the fort and don’t set it on fire. Again.”

“I make no promises,” Farah said as I walked out the door. Walking over to my car, I pulled out my phone to dial a number I had deleted from my phone over a year ago. As I sat in the car, a little voice in the back of my head told me to ignore this job. That it was inviting chaos and discourse back into my life after I had struggled to get some sort of peace. I had to see him at some point and it was probably easier to do it this way rather than during an awkward grocery store run in. Tapping the numbers was second nature and I didn’t even hesitate on a single digit. I held the phone to my ear as I coached myself to stay cool.

“Hello?” A man’s voice came over the line. I hadn’t heard it in nearly a year, but it still sounded the same. “Hello?”

“Hey. . . It’s me,” I said, swallowing back every urge that wanted to throw the phone into the street and speed away. “I really need to talk to someone. Are you free right now?” There was a sigh then silence. I thought he’d hung up on me, but a jostling noise told me he was still there.

“Sure, where do you want to meet?” He asked, his tone flat.

“Joe’s Coffee Shop? Half an hour?” I asked. I felt a little bad about tricking him, but then again I had bills to pay and he clearly was already done with me. So I didn’t feel too bad.

“Okay, see you there,” he said before hanging up.

There are scars that'll never ever show themselves

You get when you're left alone too long in Hell

The drive to the coffee shop was short thankfully and I was able to get a good parking spot to wrangle my targets into it. Hereford had its ups and downs, but the ups were that it really wasn’t as big as everyone thought. My ex and I had lived there for most of our adult lives before we split. Going our separate ways had meant chaos and disarray at first, but then I got my current job after a few months and it was something I could throw myself into.

We stayed in this area because while it was on the west coast, it was also a close knit community of sorts. People knew each other, local places were more abundant than chains, it just felt like back home. At Joe’s, I pulled up to park on the street before getting out of my black sedan.

Joe’s Coffee Shop was a local favorite with an outdoor patio. It was April and a sunny day so there were lots of people there sunbathing while sipping on iced coffees. Going in, I ordered one myself before picking a spot outside. Lazily sipping my drink, I pulled out my phone to check the time. I was never patient and even when I was early and he was on time, it had always got on my nerves.

“Hey.”

I looked up to see him standing there with that blank look he always had. Mostly hidden by his black face mask. It was the same one I made him that had the lower half of a skull printed onto it. He always wore a balaclava with a similar print, but walking around with that got him into trouble a lot. So, I made a face mask for him. I had taken the time to learn to sew and make patterns when I was not a crafty person. Seeing him still wearing it, I was thrown off my game.

“Hey Simon,” I said, standing up. Did I hug him? Shake hands? High five? Regret was filling my stomach as he stood there. We’d divorced over a year ago and hadn’t talked to each other since, but now his stupid unpaid parking tickets brought him back into my life.

We were supposed to be soulmates. We had the marks that everyone was born with. Everyone had a soulmate, people even had more than one at a time. It was supposed to mean we were going to spend the rest of our lives together, like some magical fairy tale that adults tell children.

If you found your soulmate you would feel more deeply, be more in tune with the other, have this special bond that no one else could have with you. Simon and I had had that bond.

But then we didn’t.

Things changed and we lost the bond or it broke or something and we couldn’t hack it. So, we divorced. I covered my mark on my hand with a small black bar tattoo, but Simon didn’t. I hated that he still had it. Just three simple arrows in a row on his forearm. We were meant to be together, so say the powers that be, but we proved them wrong. Life wasn’t a fairy tale.

“Everythin’ okay?” He asked, sitting across from me, shaking me from my thoughts.

“Yeah, just. . . Got lost for a second,” I said, sitting down as well.

“Are you seein’ that counselor still?” He asked. I nodded, taking a deep breath. I wasn’t there to catch up, I was there to collect a bounty. “Good,” he said.

“The reason I called you to talk in person is that I have a question,” I said, pulling out the legal paperwork.

“About what?” Simon asked with a frown.

“12 unpaid parking tickets? You have 12 unpaid parking tickets?” I asked as I shook my head at him, holding up the warrant.

“What about them?” He asked, narrowing his eyes at the papers. “How do you know about that?”

“Because you’ve got a warrant out for your arrest,” I said. “And I’m here to take you in.”

“Jesus,” Simon groaned, rolling his eyes as he shook his head. “You’re a bounty hunter now?”

“Yup. I was going to turn yours down, but the money was too good to give to someone else,” I said with a snort. Simon pinched his nose as he stayed sitting.

“This is a joke, isn’t it? It’s a really bad joke,” he said, looking at me. “Just tell me it’s a joke.”

“Not a joke,” I said, showing my badge and permit. “You never paid the tickets or showed up to court.”

“Fuck me,” Simon hissed.

“Everythin’ okay, Simon?” A Scottish brogue said.

I turned to see another man with a mohawk and the brightest blue eyes I’d ever seen walk over with a pair of coffees in hand. Wait a second.

“Don’t tell me, you’re Johnny MacTavish?” I asked, looking up at him.

“Uh, I am,” the man said, frowning as he looked at me.

“Oh wow, this has got to be the luckiest break ever!” I said, laughing as I stood up.

“Simon?” Johnny said, frowning.

“Easiest job I’ve ever had,” I said, pulling out the handcuffs from my belt.

“You’re not actually goin’ to take me in,” Simon said, tilting his head to look up at me. “This is just a heads up, right?”

“Oh no. I’m for real arresting you both right now,” I said. “Unpaid parking tickets, jay walking and traffic tickets, no shows in court, and a fucking emu? This is truly an April Christmas miracle.”

“I’m still confused, Simon?” Johnny said, looking at the other man.

“Wait, how do you two know each other?” I asked, realizing they had shown up together.

“Johnny, this my ex-wife,” Simon said as he stood up. “And this is my boyfriend, Johnny.”

I did not expect to feel that pang in my chest hit so hard. Of course he moved on. Why wouldn’t he? He had been the more grounded of us after the dust settled. I had no right to feel jealous or hurt by it. If he hadn’t been in trouble then I would have had no idea anyways.

“Wait, so she’s the one-” Johnny started.

“Yes, she is the one,” Simon nodded. “Now, when you’re done havin’ a laugh, I have to go. We have plans. Can’t believe after almost a year of not talkin’ and avoidin’ each other this is how you choose to show up again.”

“Oh, uh, it was nice to meet you,” Johnny said, tentatively holding out his hand for me to take after setting his drinks down. Fuck this. I slapped a cuff onto Johnny who cried out in confusion as I easily turned him to get his other hand.

“I wasn’t kidding,” I grunted as I handled Johnny, directing him to my car.

“Are you fucking’ kiddin’ me right now!?” Simon snapped.

“Like I said, I have arrest warrants for both of you. You’re lucky I even told you that,” I snapped back at him. Opening the car door, I put Johnny in the back before shutting the door. Simon didn’t seem to think it was going to go far, instead choosing to get on the phone with someone.

“Yes, hello?” He said before I ripped his phone from him to hang up. “What the hell!?”

“Simon, just let me cuff you so we can get this over with and we can move on with our lives,” I said.

“What is wrong with you? Normal ex’s don’t arrest each other,” he said, as I was able to get the cuffs on him just as easily.

“Yeah, well, we’re not normal ex’s,” I said with a sigh, putting the cuffs extra tight on his wrists. “Now shut up and get in the car.” Dragging him to the other side, I pushed him in next to Johnny before getting in myself.

“Are we being kidnapped?” Johnny asked as I pulled out onto the road.

“You’ve both have warrants out for your arrest because you two dumbasses didn’t pay tickets on time or show up to court,” I said. “5 years we were together and you never learned to pay the damn tickets.”

“I was goin’ to pay them,” Simon said with a huff. “I’ve been busy.”

“Uh huh,” I said, rolling my eyes at him. Johnny seemed to just be in a constant state of confusion, but kept quiet at least. The drive to the police station was shorand usually if there was more than one to book I would have other people with me, but given that those two weren’t going to really give me trouble, I didn’t worry too much. With both of them in cuffs and compliant, I was able to get them booked easily enough.

“Hey, Riley,” the officer at the desk, Roach, called as Simon and Johnny were being taken to be processed. I paused in my get away, ready to run as far and fast as I could.

They tried to keep in the secrets that you wouldn't tell

But they just stripped you for parts you had to sell

“Yeah?” I said, walking back over. I could see Simon staring at me hard from the cubicle he was in with Johnny that was just a couple of meters away. No doubt he heard the officer call me back over, still using his last name.

“Just need you to sign a few things for us,” Roach said.

“Alright fine, but it better be quick, I got a lunch date with a Blood Mary,” I said with a huff.

“You never changed your name,” Simon said, looking at me with a frown.

“Uh… No, no I did not,” I said, keeping my eyes on the papers in front of me.

“Why didn’t you change your name?” He asked.

“Because it’s a bitch to file paperwork and I’ve already been writing it for nearly 5 years. I made it a habit,” I said, glancing at him.

“No, no, you were filin’ for divorce before you even brought it up to me. You filed everythin’ before sayin’ a word,” Simon pushed. “Why didn’t you change your name?”

“I swear to god, Simon,” I hissed, slamming the pen on the counter. The small police station should have been buzzing about with noise, but as Simon kept demanding, everything and everyone went quiet.

“Just tell me why you didn’t change your last name,” he pushed.

“Because I still love you, okay?!” I snapped, whirling to glare at him. “I still love you, but we are not good together and it’s one piece of us that I can have without trouble. So there, there’s your answer, in front of your new boyfriend, too.”

“Love,” Simon said with a sigh.

“Don’t,” I said, cutting him off. “Anything else for me to sign?” I asked, turning back to glare at Roach.

“Uh, no that’s it,” Roach said. I hadn’t meant to crumble so easily. I thought I was stronger than that, but seeing him again, with someone else. . . What was I supposed to do? We used to be so good together, but then everything happened and shit hit the fan. I couldn’t be as soft as I once was and I couldn’t let him back in. It wasn’t fair to him. Not after the shit I put him through.

“Thanks,” I said, turning on my heel. Thankfully no one called after me again, letting me get to my car and drive home in peace. Getting home, I walked in to shut the door behind me. It was barely 2pm but there I was going right for the vodka in my freezer. I’d been sober almost four months, but seeing Simon. . . I couldn’t. It was supposed to be an easy grab and go, he’d get pissed and grouchy while I hauled his ass to jail.

Then it turned into a sudden confession at the police station in front of everyone and their dog to see and hear. I hoped that was the last I’d seen of him for a while. If ever.

Well, if I'm there to catch you when you fall

You'll have a friend down in Hell after all

Pulling a glass from my cupboard, I put a handful of ice in it before filling it with the liquor. I brought the glass to my lips, but paused. On the fridge was a magnet with a purple heart on it and the name ‘Dierdre’ in cursive letters. Staring at it, I held onto the drink as that ache brought back by Simon deepened. Like a scab reopening to become infected. The burning smell of the vodka was enough to pull me from scratching that open wound. Slowly, I set the glass down. That job was a mistake and I knew it the whole time. I thought maybe the money would soften any damage done or any hurt feelings, but it hadn’t done a damn thing.

Taking a deep breath as my mind threatened to unravel any second, I reached out to grab the bottle of vodka. Unscrewing the cap, I let it drop to the counter. The feel of the icy bottle in my hand helped pull me up from the warmth of depression that was pulling me into its arms. I tipped the bottle to watch the clear liquid pour into the sink, splashing and running down the drain. When the bottle was empty, I did the same to the drink I had made.

Standing in silence, I let out a sigh before moving to my living room, leaving the empty bottle on the counter.

And if you're there to catch me when I fall

Then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all

I pulled off my boots and jacket, texting Farah that I had everything signed and turned in and that I was done for the day. Shutting my phone off, I moved to flop onto the couch after peeling off my tight jeans. My bra went flying behind me, letting me settle in the warm weather with my windows open. The apartment was modest as Simon had kept almost everything in the divorce. I didn’t want it, so I left the house and anything I didn’t readily need with him. It was for the best. I didn’t need much and it made for less stuff when I moved.

Flipping on the TV, I turned it to good ol’ golf. I could put golf on at any time and it would put me in a dreamless sleep. That was what I needed. No dreams, no thoughts, no worries or wonders. Just the comfortable void that I could exist in without overwhelming feelings of any kind. In minutes I was passed out on the couch.

Until someone pounded on my front door.

Groggily, I looked around, confused as the sun had set and I was chilly in my underwear and tank top. Another loud knock came that had me glaring at the offending door.

“I’m coming!” I yelled, going to the door. Beside it in a small side table, I hid a Glock for when unsolicited callers came to the door. It was registered and everything, but wasn’t kept completely legal considering it wasn’t locked up with the ammo separated. My previous job and being a bounty hunter didn’t exactly make for the safest of conditions and the bad guys wouldn’t wait for me to put in my combination to my safe. “Who is it?” I asked, hand on the gun hidden under the table top.

“It’s Simon.” Quiet a moment, I scrunched my face in frustration while holding back the urge to tell him to fuck off.

“What do you want?” I asked, not letting him in or taking my hand off the gun.

“I want to talk to you,” he said. I heard him shifting around, waiting for me to answer. The thought of climbing out my window crossed my mind, but he’d just follow right behind me. Sighing heavily, I took my hand from the gun before I unlocked the door to open it. “Thank. . . You,” he said, his eyes trailing down my body. “Well then.”

“I was napping,” I grumbled, stepping aside. “Besides you’ve seen more of that.” I pushed the door to shut it, but it stopped when Johnny popped in. “Excuse me?” I said, looking between the two.

“We need to talk about earlier,” Simon said as Johnny walked in. “All three of us.”

“I don’t understand,” I groaned, scrubbing my face. “Why are both of you here?”

“Do you wanna put some pants on? We can turn around,” Johnny offered. I stared at him before looking to Simon.

“Just go have a seat on the couch, Darlin’,” Simon said with a soft sigh, rubbing Johnny’s arm. My eye twitched at the gesture and nickname, but I stayed quiet.

“I’ll be right back,” I said, going to the bedroom which was technically part of the living room. It had a partition set up to kind of offer a sense of it being a different room, but I didn’t try that hard. I grabbed a pair of sweatpants and hoodie to pull on before I rejoined the two men. Johnny sat on the couch, watching some show on TV that had come on during my nap while Simon was in the kitchen, holding the empty liquor bottle.

I didn't want to believe how much you needed help

And I just left you to be all by yourself

“I thought you said you were goin’ to counselin’,” he said softly.

“I am,” I said, taking the bottle from him to put in the recycling. “It was in the freezer from almost 6 months ago. I poured it out.”

“Are you bein’ honest with me?” Simon asked, looking at me. His dark eyes looked scared, worried, unsure. It was more than he gave me earlier that day at the coffee shop.

“I am,” I said. “Promise.”

“Good,” Simon said with a nod before motioning to the couch.

“So, what was it you two wanted to talk about?” I asked, pulling over a chair from my table as Simon sat next to Johnny.

“Aren’t you curious how we found ye?” Johnny asked as I turned off the TV.

“Not really. I know how you found me,” I said. “One of two options. Either you tracked me back through my phone records or you talked to my office manager, Farah. Who honestly should know better than to give my address out, but I assumed you pestered her enough that she caved.”

“Wow, she is good Simon,” Johnny said with a smile.

“I told you,” Simon said with a chuckle. I felt a hint of heat in my cheeks. Simon told Johnny about me? About how I was good at seeing things others didn’t? “Sorry, I told him you used to be a private investigator and he thinks it’s the greatest thing.”

“I love all those detective movies where the police don’t believe the evidence, but that rogue investigator finds it all out and cracks the case!” Johnny said excitedly. It was almost annoying, but it was also sweet. I hadn’t felt excited, truly excited, like that in a long time and didn’t know if I ever could again.

“It was mostly catching people cheating on each other,” I said, rubbing my face. “Hate to break the dream for ya.”

“That’s not what Simon said,” Johnny said. It was Simon’s turn to get a bit red in the cheeks.

“Oh really? What did he say?” I asked, crossing my legs as I leaned forward.

“Not why we’re here,” Simon said, covering Johnny’s mouth with his hand.

“Then why are you here?” I asked, turning my attention to him.

“We’re here to talk about us,” Simon said, motioning between me and him.

“What’s there to talk about?” I asked, sitting back up to cross my arms over my chest. “We’re divorced. We gave it a shot and it didn’t work out.”

“No, we gave it a shot and you called it quits. I was willin’ to work it out,” Simon said with a sigh.

“Obviously you don’t want to anymore, you brought your boyfriend over,” I said, motioning to Johnny.

“Johnny, go ahead and show her,” Simon said, looking to the other.

“Show me what?” I asked. Johnny glanced from me to Simon before he pulled up his shirt and pulled his pants down a bit. On his right hip was his soulmate mark. I swallowed hard, looking at it as tears pricked my eyes. It was the same as me and Simon’s. Three small arrows. “Well, good for you, you found a soulmate after I covered my mark,” I said. “You wanted to let me know you’d moved on completely and that I shouldn’t contact you again.”

“No, that’s not it,” Simon said as Johnny sat back down.

“Then what is it, Simon?” I snapped. “What do you want? I filed for divorce, I left you, I moved away from you, and the first time I called you in nearly a year is to arrest you, so you think that means anything?”

And now I wish I had seen that you weren't doing well

But I just came back to see how hard you fell

“You said at the station that you were still in love with me,” Simon said.

“No, I said I still loved you. There’s a difference. I’m not in love with you,” I said. It was mean and cruel, but I couldn’t let him think there was a chance we’d have a happily ever after. I was too much of a mess and barely managed to keep myself going most days as a functioning adult.

“But you could be,” Johnny said. I narrowed my eyes at him, snarling almost, but he didn’t flinch. “You could fall back in love with him.”

“I. . . I am not the person I used to be, Simon,” I said, trying to swallow back tears. “I’m not the girl you fell in love with and I probably won’t ever be her again. I’m not who you want or need.”

“Maybe Johnny’s right,” Simon said, scooting closer to me. “We’re both different people, but we could fall in love again.”

“It has been over a year, Simon,” I said. “You moved on with Johnny and I moved on. What is the point of us getting back together? We’re not good together.”

“No, we were,” Simon said. “We just lost each other when we lost Dierdre.”

“Don’t,” I snapped, close to losing it. “Don’t bring her into this.”

Well, if I'm there to catch you when you fall

You'll have a friend down in Hell after all

“You shut down so hard and pushed me so far away when we lost her, Love,” Simon said, reaching out to touch my knee. I pulled away instantly like his touch burned me. I sat rigid in my seat as I refused to look at him. “We made mistakes and we fucked up. I fucked up. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there when you needed me.” His voice was catching, making it hard to steel myself, to keep myself in my self appointed isolation. “It’s not your fault and I don’t blame you for anythin’. The drinkin’, the lyin’, the fights, I don’t blame you. Neither of us were in the right. I. . . I never stopped lovin’ you. Even when I met Johnny, I still loved you just as much as I did before. I still do.”

I shook my head, feeling my shell crack as tears slid down my face.

“You had a miscarriage, Love. We lost our baby girl and I thought I lost you too,” Simon choked out. We didn’t talk like this after we got home from the hospital. I had been seven months pregnant when something happened. There were sharp pains that I shouldn’t have had. Before we knew it I was in the hospital bleeding, hemorrhaging. The sac she was in didn’t develop right and it burst. By the time I was in delivery she was already gone. I barely made it out alive.

“You’re not just one event in your Simon’s life,” Johnny said suddenly, making me flinch. “A loss of a child is one of the hardest emotional pains to endure and a lot of couples do divorce afterwards because it seems like the world has come down upon you. It’s okay to feel those feelings and work through them, but it seems that you didn’t want to or didn’t have the capacity at the time to work through it with Simon. These things take time and that may be what was needed. Time.”

“Johnny was my counselor for a while,” Simon said with a soft chuckle. I looked at him, seeing the tears running down his cheeks, his mask off. It was the first time I had seen his face since before the hospital visit. “Then for obvious reasons I started seein’ a different counselor.”

And if you're there to catch me when I fall

Then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all

“The heart wants what it wants,” Johnny said with a soft smile and a shrug. “All that aside, with everything Simon has told me, I couldn’t deny him of seeing you. He loves you too much and I love him. I want us to be happy and even if that means we have separate relationships with Simon or if you just want to be friends again, I am all for it. Being married and together for so long, as well as soulmates, makes for an intense relationship, but also one you can’t just forget and burn a bridge to with something like you guys. All I ask is that you consider it and we’ll work through it together.”

“I don’t know,” I said softly. “I don’t think I’m ready or ever will be ready.”

“Love,” Simon said, reaching out to grasp my hand that had gripped my knee tightly. “We don’t have to pick up where we left off. I just. . . I need you in my life. Please.”

God, the feel of his hand around mine made me want to curl into a ball in his lap, let him rock me and hold me. It was so hard to keep myself in check.

“So, this is about making yourself feel better?” I said, trying to make a wedge between us. He needed to leave and move on with Johnny. They could be happy together, adopt, get a dog. I was too broken and missing pieces. There was no way that I could go back to him, not because he had been the cause, but because I was certain I would only hurt him again when he saw how badly I was cracked. “I told you, Simon. I am not who I was when we met, let alone when we got married. This version of me is not someone who is the loving and caring partner that is soft and a safe place to land.”

Build me up or tear me down, I will never make a sound

Build me up or tear me down

“How about a reset?” Johnny said. I looked at him confused, unsure what he was getting at. “You wipe the slate clean, you start over. That means, you start out as friends again, move on from there. I find it helps couples that feel they can’t get over certain bumps in the road to have an imaginary reset button. It’s been a year since you two have been around each other, you’re obviously in different places in your lives, and you have changed. A reset would probably be the best thing for you two if you want to be around one another again.”

“So what, we just pretend nothing happened before now?” I asked with a scoff.

“No, you definitely don’t do that,” Johnny said. “You start fresh. You acknowledge that you both have a past, but you don’t work around it. You work with it.”

“I’m on board for whatever you want,” Simon said. I took a deep breath, holding Simon’s hand without realizing it.

Run a dagger through my chest, I believe it's for the best

Build me up or tear me down

“I can’t,” I said, pulling my hand away from him. “I just can’t.” That sucking pit in my chest that had snuck up on me was gasping to get more of me.

“You don’t have to punish yourself for losing a child,” Johnny said. He had gone to his knees in front of me, making me see his face as he looked up at me. His words were spoken softly, but a force to pull me back from that place I was comfortable with. Where it was dark and lonely and it made sense to feel guilt. “You did everything you could to keep her safe and loved her so much. You were a good mum. It’s not your fault.”

All I could do was stare at him as he nodded, taking my shaky, clammy hands in his large, rough ones. I had manhandled him into cuffs earlier without hesitation, moving on instinct, and now I was in his calm, grounding grasp. “But-”

“It will never be your fault. There is no need to punish you for something that was not your doing. You deserve to be loved and have someone be there for you. This was not a failure on your part and never will be. You can let go of that weight. You’re not alone anymore and don’t have to be again.”

There are scars that'll never ever show themselves

You get when you're left alone too long in Hell

“Okay,” I choked out. “I. . . I want to try the reset thing.”

“We’ll go slow and easy,” Simon said.

“I want to start as friends, with both you and Johnny,” I said looking from Simon to Johnny.

“That’s the most I would ask for,” Johnny said, a smile on his face.

“Give me some time right now. I’ll text you later and we’ll go from there, okay?” I said, needing to remember to breathe.

They tried to keep in the secrets that you wouldn't tell

But they just stripped you for parts you had to sell

“Sounds good,” Simon said, a smile spreading across his face as well. Even though we got what we all wanted apparently, why was I the only one not smiling? Why did it feel like I wasn’t going to get what was promised? The only person dangling the carrot in front of me was myself and I knew the bitch would never let me have it if someone didn’t make her.

“I’m gonna give you two a minute, I’ll be out in the car,” Johnny said, getting up. He dropped a kiss to Simon’s head and waved to me before letting himself out.

“What?” I said, looking at Simon as he stared me down.

“Do you really want to do this? To reset?” He asked.

“If I didn’t, would I have said yes to it?” I asked, rolling my eyes, unable to keep from putting up my guards.

“No, but that doesn’t mean you’re lettin’ it all out there,” he said.

“I just. . . I don’t know. I feel like I let two strangers into my apartment to emotionally bully me into a relationship that I am terrified of,” I said with a sigh. “I don’t know how to be or to act around you anymore.”

“It’s okay,” Simon said, taking my hand in his. It was warm and rough, just like always. “We’ll figure it out. I’ll give you all the time and space you want.”

“What if I don’t want space?” I blurted out. I had shut down after Dierdre, pushed everyone away, and made myself alone. Like Johnny had figured out, I was punishing myself for my daughter’s death. I did that to myself because it felt like the right thing to do at the time, but I didn’t want it anymore. Not when Simon wanted me back, but. . .

“What do you mean?” Simon asked.

“I mean. . . I am so tired of being alone and I am so tired of pushing people away. I don’t care about the sex or kissing, I just don’t want to be alone again,” I said, managing to get it out before I broke down into sobs.

And if you're there to catch me when I fall

Then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all

Simon didn’t let go of me. Slowly, he pulled me from my chair to set me in his lap. His long arms wrapped around me, holding me tight as I sobbed against him.

It had been so long since I’d had that simple comfort that I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want to go slow and stay home by myself. I wanted to go with Simon and Johnny and just stop being fucking alone. It was as if Simon was reading my mind as the back of my hand began to itch under my tattoo.

“Why don’t you come home with us for a while?” Simon asked. “Don’t worry about anythin’, I’ll help you pack a bag and when you feel up to it, we’ll come back.”

Build me up or tear me down, I will never make a sound

Build me up or tear me down

“Okay,” I nodded, hiccuping from crying so hard. There was no fight left in me as he continued to hold me, only taking out his phone to text Johnny. A few more minutes and I walked with him like a child holding their parents hand to their bedroom where the monsters were. We packed a basic bag before I slid on shoes then grabbed my keys, phone, and wallet. With my place locked up, Simon led me out to the car where Johnny was waiting in the driver’s seat. He didn’t say a word or make any fuss as Simon got in the back with me to hold me as we drove back to their house.

I knew Simon had sold our old house six months ago, getting another one down the street from it. It was a blessing because I would not be able to go back into that house. Brief flashes of how we had worked to make it ours, the decorations, furniture, the nursery ran through my mind. But instead of breaking down and having a drink, I nuzzled against Simon’s chest as his heavy arm kept me close.

Run a dagger through my chest, I believe it's for the best

Build me up or tear me down

Once there, I walked in holding Simon’s hand. Johnny didn’t seem surprised at all by any of it. In fact it was almost like he was expecting it. “Here’s some water and ibuprofen, you probably have a headache and are dehydrated,” he said as he handed me both items.

“Thanks,” I said, taking them.

“If you’re hungry we can order something or you’re more than welcome to lay down or even take a shower, whatever you’d like,” Johnny said as he took my bag for me. Going down the hall and straight to their room. I knew it was their room because it had a huge bed I could see from the front.

“I can sleep on the couch or the guest room,” I said, trying to back peddle from something I didn’t even realize was taking off so quickly.

“Don’t worry about,” Johnny said. “You’re probably touch starved and your soulmates haven’t been around in a year. It’ll create a tension of sorts, make you irritable, cause mood swings, depression, anxiety, general mental disarray. The best thing to do for it, if you can, is to be with your soulmates. That means you share the bed with us.”

“Us?” I said, my voice cracking.

If I'm there to catch you when you fall

You'll have a friend down in Hell after all

“Simon will sleep in the middle, don’t worry,” Johnny said as he walked to the closet to grab extra pillows and blankets.

“I think I’ve just been bamboozled,” I mumbled. That little shit knew all along that I’d end up coming home with them. He probably knew about the tickets! Knew that I was a bounty hunter! I was going to have to keep my eye on him.

“Probably,” Simon said with a chuckle. “He’s shifty like that. But, he is right. You’re probably touch starved, so you’re stayin’ in the same bed as us. Do you want to shower or anythin’?”

“I just want to lay down. My head is killing me and I’m a bit overwhelmed,” I said.

“Fair enough, keep drinkin’ the water though,” Simon said as he led me to the bedroom.

“Yes, Sir,” I said with a snort before taking a drink of the water.

“Oh, yeah, Simon is definitely, Sir,” Johnny said as he put the pillows and blankets on the bed for me. I couldn’t help but choke on my water. “Oh, too soon?”

And if you're there to catch me when I fall

Then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all

“I think she just needs to rest,” Simon said, patting me on the back.

“Okay,” Johnny said with a shrug. “Here’s a wet cloth for ye too.” He handed me one for my eyes before walking out.

“Here, you get settled,” Simon said, helping me get into the large, California King sized bed. “Need anything else?”

If I'm there to catch you when you fall

You'll have a friend down in Hell after all

“No, I think I’m good,” I said, letting him drape the wet cloth over my forehead.

“Alright. I’m gonna go take a shower then I’ll be in to lay down with you, okay?” He said.

“Okay,” I mumbled, already falling asleep. It didn’t take long for me to do just that, but I woke up later as Simon was sliding into bed. All the noises were gone from the usual household that was awake, telling me everyone was going to bed. I felt Simon lay on his back, making it easy for me to move to lay with my arm over his belly. What I didn’t expect was another arm to lay over mine. At first I wanted to pull away, but the longer I let it stay, the more it felt right.

And if you're there to catch me when I fall

Then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all

Masterlist

Taglist: @birdstoprey @sebbytheraccoon @pricescigar @alwaysshallow @sae1kie @sleepydang @lexi-zsy09 @ghostlywhiskey @ghosts-cyphera @poohkie90 @neothewitch @shadofireshinobi @sadslasher13 @0alk0msan @xaestheticalien

#john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #soapghost #soap x reader #john mactavish #johnny mactavish/reader #soap/reader/ghost

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pharlapcartoonist · 4 months

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Game of Omens is out!

I didn't thought I will actually finish it before Christmas, but I did!

The Game of Omens is a board game based on a wonderful book by @neil-gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens, and series Good Omens on Amazon Prime. (@goodomensonprime )

I've written the rules (in english and czech), designed the game plan and drew it.

Everything can be found here (including instructions on how to prepare the game plan).

So print it out, and have yourself a beautiful evening with your beloved ones, playing my game. That's my little gift for you all.

Merry Christmas (or whatever you like to celebrate in this festive time)!

#my art #game of omens #good omens #digital art #crowley #aziraphale #adam the antichrist #board game #neil gaiman #terry pratchett

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bestnoncannonship · 4 months

Text

HELLO NAUGHTY FANDOM FRIENDS ITS FERAL CHRISTMAS TREE TIME!!!

You've seen the Good Omens Tree:

You've seen the Merlin Tree:

This year we have the

SHERLOCK HOLMES TREE!

Merry Christmas Everyone! Is this not the perfect Christmas tree for Christmas with your queerplatonic life partner in your strange little house? I think it is. Now our favorite interpretation of Sherlock Holmes is the Granada with Jeremy Brett. So it's his visage and that of his longtime Watson, Edward Hardwicke, who top the tree this year.....with miniature festive versions of their top hat and bowler hat:

Some of the Ornaments are just things that come up often in Holmes's world. Like Holmes's Violin, a Train, a Magnifying Glass, Various Vials of Science and Tobacco Ash, Smoking Pipes, and Watson's Revolver.

Others are references to certain cases; The Severed Ear from "The Cardboard Box", Mary's Pearls and Poison Darts from "Sign of the Four", the French Gold from "The Red Headed League", an Orange with Five Pips from "The Five Orange Pips", the Triangulated Tree from "The Muskgrave Ritual", the Big Dog from "Hound of the Baskervilles", the Noose from "The Resident Patient", the Bicyle from "The Solitary Cyclist", "Silver Blaze"'s horseshoe, A "Blue Carbuncle", Irene Adler's Sovereign from "A Scandal in Bohemia", and a garland of Dancing Men from "The Dancing Men" that spells out the Lyrics to "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen".

I've also included the crest of Mycroft's Diogennes Club with their mascot (a plucked chicken) and their motto (Shut up ...but in Latin), and a skull....because it seemed appropriate.

And of course......there are plenty of copies of the magazine where Watson immortalized their adventures together:

Merry Christmas!

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thetempleofthemasaigoddess · 3 months

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Bird-shaped letterbox

Usopp x erotic dancer!reader. NSFW!!!

As much as I adore Kaya, this fic ignores her and Usopp's kiss.

*****

Usopp can't help grinning as he scans the horizon, brown eyes fixed on the tiny dot in the far distance that the Merry is slowly but surely moving towards. Their destination is so close he can almost reach out with his arm and touch it; and with it, the person he has waited for two years to meet again...

"Nami says we're gonna reach Elynia before sundown." Luffy mentions, resting his elbows on the side of the ship next to him. After almost a week of stormy skies and sea, today dawn broke on a sunny and warm day, a favorable wind pushing them in the right direction, and Usopp has decided to consider it a good omen... a sign that his wish will be fulfilled, and their little crew will leave the town with one more member, and him with his dearest friend (not to mention, the secret object of his affection) by his side once more "Are you sure your friend will want to become our shipwright?"

The truth is he is not, since while it has always been (name)'s intention to follow in her father's footsteps and become a shipwright, she had never mentioned an interest in becoming a pirate, or even just in taking to the sea instead than working stably in a shipyard. What's more, she and Usopp last said good-bye two years ago and he hasn't received one of her letters in eighteen months, and Kaya had lost any contact with their friend as well. For all he knows, she could have found a steady job in Elynia's shipyard, a job she wouldn't want to leave. Maybe, after all this time, she has made some new friends and forgotten about him...

"Of course I'm sure!" he proudly answers, forcing himself to smile. A problem, or the possibility of things not going exactly as he wants them to, does not disappear simply because one avoids talking about it, but Usopp can't help it: he wants so much to see (name) again, to see her join Luffy's crew and renew their friendship, and getting disappointed, either because she'd rather remain in the city or because she doesn't care for him like she did in the past, would break his heart. In any case he'll discover the truth soon since, barring unforeseen circumstances, he'll meet (name) in a few hours so that Luffy can officially ask her to join them; until then, it is really so wrong to delude himself? "I can't wait for all of you to meet her. (name) is amazing; her father was one of the best shipwright at Kaya's parents' shipyard, and he taught her everything he knows. Once she joins our crew, she'll take good care of the Merry."

"That's good, I can't wait to meet her. You think she can add another sail to the ship?"

"Another... sail?"

Luffy nods vigorously, his straw hat pushed against the back of his head by the wind. "Yes, to make her go faster when a strong wind blows."

Usopp smiles, his doubts at least momentarily forgotten thanks to his captain's enthusiasm. "Of course! (name) is an excellent mastmaker; I'm sure she can make the Merry the fastest ship in the world."

"Amazing...!"

Luffy leaves to go ask Sanji for a snack, since dinner is still hours away; Usopp looks at him go, a smile full of affection on his lips, before offering his face to the bow of the ship, the wind tossing his dark hair back. Elynia is still a little dot on the horizon, given the distance deceptively small for what is actually a large, affluent city; the city where (name) has moved with her father, and where he will meet her before the end of the day. For two years he has hoped one day they would meet again, and for a whole week (specifically, ever since one night at dinner Nami mentioned the need for a shipwright to keep their new ship in top condition and take care of any damage she may sustain, he told the rest of the crew about his childhood friend, the best shipwright in the East Sea, and Luffy decided they simply had to meet her and ask her to join their crew) all he has been able to think is (name), and how happy he will be once he sees her again.

It's gonna be all right. Who cares if they haven't seen each other for two years, who cares if she has found a more prestigious job in Elynia's shipyard? What matters the most is that they'll be together once more, just like when they were kids; having Kaya, the third member of their little group, with them would be even better, but the simple prospect of sharing a hug with (name), or to see her smile as she recognizes him, is enough to make his heart race. She hasn't forgotten about him; and she'll be happy to become the crew's shipwright. It's not just wishful thinking, he's sure of it; he feels it, in his heart.

Threre is something comforting in the lulling of the ship, the sun flickering on the azure surface of the sea; Usopp looks up at the sails full of wind above him, the straw hat-adorned jolly roger standing out against the white of the fabric, and wishes their destination were not still hours away.

*****

Elynia's harbour is large, dozens of ships of all sizes docked inside the half-moon shaped structure. No one, Usopp notices, seems to pay attention to them, and the Merry is not the only ship with a jolly roger on her sails; evidently, like many other port towns, Elynia has taken a neutral position towards piracy, with any sort of sailor being admitted to its harbour, as long as they can pay and cause no trouble.

Having secured the Merry to the dock with mooring lines, he follows his friends along a well-kept gangway to go ashore. Usopp looks all around him; in her letters (name) had written enthusiastically about Elynia, how she liked living there and how many interesting places there were in town, and he is curious to see them for himself. Who knows, perhaps the two of them could take an evening stroll together, and she could show him her favourite places...

"That must be the shipyard." Nami mentions, her finger pointed towards a large structure standing right next to the harbour, clearly visible among other smaller buildings; squinting in the quickly dissipating sunlight, Usopp can see two slipways, as well as a large warehouse, and a number of ships in various stages of construction, repair and dismantlement "It makes sense that they built it near the town's harbour."

"We're going to meet Usopp's friend, then?" Luffy asks, clearly excited at the prospect; the sniper shakes his head, but Nami is faster than him in answering.

"The shipyard must have already closed for the night." she points out; a moment later the tangerine-haired navigator has turned to him. "Either we wait until tomorrow, or we search for her at home. You have any idea where she lives?"

"Of course I do! I know her address from the letters she sent me after moving here."

Usopp is sure (name) won't mind if they visit her at home, despite the late hour, so the Straw Hats decide to split: Usopp and Luffy, in his role as captain, will go meet their potential new shipwright, while Nami and Sanji will take care of some urgent purchases while the shops are still open. Zoro has volunteered to remain on the ship to make sure no one bothers it.

"You mean you want to nap on the bridge." Nami accuses him, her eyebrow raised; the swordsman doesn't deny, simply grinning in response.

"Let's go then!" Luffy exclaims, straw hat firmly placed on his head, but Usopp is already ahead of him, grabbing the captain's elbow to lead him towards the harbour's gates "I'm coming, I'm coming...!"

According to the first letter he had received from (name), the house she and her father had moved to was close to the shipyard, which was convenient since they both worked there, he as the head of the mastmaking department and she as an apprentice. Usopp asks a woman walking her dog for directions, and after just a few minutes, and having had to retrace their steps only twice, he and Luffy reach a street dotted with small but well-kept houses, as well as a few shops and restaurants.

"Hey, do you wanna go in here?" Luffy proposes, stopping in front of a curry-house, a few stools placed in front of the counter under a green tent and an absolutely heavenly smell wafting from the inside "I am starving!"

Usopp shakes his head; the truth is he's hungry as well, since at lunch he was so nervous at the prospect of seeing (name) again he barely touched his food, but he knows he won't be able to sit and eat if he doesn't meet his friend first. "Just wait a little more; maybe (name) can tell us where to find the best food in town."

"Oh! Right."

Night is quickly enveloping the town, but after a few minutes' walk Usopp is sure he has found their destination: the house number is the one he remembers from the letters (name) sent him, and he also recognizes the blue, bird-shaped letterbox attached to the building, that his friend had built herself. "This is it! This is where (name) lives!" he exclaims, excited; a moment later he is busy fixing his hair and making sure his clothes are in order "Ah, I should have found a way to bring her some flowers..."

Luffy looks at him, head tilted to the side. "Why? Is it tradition to offer flowers to someone before asking them to join your crew?"

"What...? No, it's not that..."

"Oh, ok. You want to knock or should I?"

Usopp decides it is up to him; he walks to the door as he dries his sweaty hands on his pants and straightens his back. This was supposed to be an happy occasion, and it is, he is happy to see his friend again after two years; then why is his heart pounding, and his mouth dry as if he hadn't drunk a sip of water in days? What if she says no? What if she doesn't want to be my friend anymore? What if... what if she doesn't recognize me? And what if I don't know what to say and start stammering and make a fool of myself...?

"Usopp?" a perplexed Luffy asks from behind him, after the sniper has stood for two full minutes in front of the door, completely still "Are you ok?"

He gulps. "Yeah, yeah... uhm, I'm going..."

The almost too soft knocking on the door receives no answer for a couple of minutes; Usopp is busy wondering what would make him feel worse, leaving without seeing (name) or actually meeting her and finding out she doesn't care for their past friendship, when finally...

"Hello. Can I help you?"

The woman in front of him looks almost as perplexed as Usopp feels as she looks at him, waiting for an answer the sniper is at first unable to give her. He is sure he has never seen her before, but, he reasons, perhaps (name)'s father has remarried in the last eighteen months; the woman looks about his age.

"Err..." he clears his throat "Sorry to bother you, ma'am. My name is Usopp; is (name) at home?"

"... who?"

"(name). She... lives here...?"

"I... really don't know who you are talking about; there is no one with that name here, just me and my sister. Are you sure you are at the right house?"

Usopp, briefly considering the same issue, steps back, glancing at the brass number attached on the outside of the door, and then at the bird-shaped letterbox next to it. It is the right house, he's sure of it; but then, why is this woman living in it, and not his friend? Where is (name)?

The woman is still looking at him, courteous but vaguely suspicious, as if fearing the two young men are making fun of her or trying to lie their way into the house with the intent to steal.

"We are looking for a girl named (name)." Luffy intervenes, seeing Usopp has, as he feared, lost the ability to speak "Who lived in this house two years ago. Both her and her father work at the shipyard, they come from Syrup Village. Do you know them?"

The woman shakes her head; she has never met anyone named (name), she informs them, and never had any reason to visit the shipyard since neither her nor her sister work in the maritime sector. The house was empty when they moved in, just a year ago.

"I'm sorry, I really don't know how to help you. Listen, I'm preparing dinner..."

"Great! What are you making?" Luffy asks eagerly; Usopp quickly grabs him by the arm, stopping him from barging into the house.

"Thanks for your help, ma'am."

The woman nods, clearly relieved to put a stop to that odd conversation, and closes the door. Usopp stares at the brass number for a moment more, completely dumbfounded.

"What do we do?"

"I have no idea." the sniper admits; he's starting to feel anxious, and he doesn't like it. Where is (name)? She and her father could have simply moved to another house, or even to another town, but what if something bad has happened to them - to her? He thought she had stopped writing to him because she was too busy with her apprenticeship, or with the friends she had made in Elynia - an heartbreaking, but reassuring explanation; what if that was not the case? What if she had been hurt, or even...?

No. That is not possible. Not her, not my (name). She's fine, I feel it, I just have to find her...

"You wanna try at the shipyard?" Luffy suggests, distracting him from his fears.

"You think we'll find it open? It's night."

"Worth a shot, unless you have a better idea."

Usopp doesn't. A minute later the two young pirates are walking along the quickly emptying streets towards the shipyard, one tense, the other whose worry is quickly giving way to panic.

"How did you meet (name)?" Luffy asks after a while. Usopp has already told him, which means the question is probably just an attempt to distract him and ease his worry; it doesn't work, but the sniper appreciates the thought.

"We met at the shipyard owned by Kaya's parents." he explains "Her father worked there, and she spent all her time with him because at six she had already decided she would one day follow in his footsteps; I often hung out there because... well, I liked to think my dad would return one day and their ship would go to the shipyard to be repaired, and I could meet him there. We became friends, and then we met Kaya, and for years we were inseparable, until two years ago, when her father accepted a better job here in Elynia, and they moved away."

He had cried for weeks, heartbroken at the loss of his dearest, oldest friend, regretting he had been unable to confess her the feelings, still confused and acerbic but deep, he had started having for her. In any case, the most pressing matter is now to make sure (name) is safe; and then, he promises himself, unless she has become a completely different person, or is (sigh) already in a relationship, he could find a way to tell her how he still feels...

As they had imagined, the shipyard is closed, the enormous metal gate firmly locked; Usopp, heart filled with disappointment, is about to propose they return to the Merry and try again come morning, when a lit window catches his interest: a tiny building right next to the gate, perhaps the night watchman's station.

The man who answers to his knocking is much less friendly than the woman living in (name)'s old house; he squints at the two young pirates who, Usopp judges, have just woken him from his nap.

"What d'you want? Place is closed."

"We are looking for a person who works here." Luffy explains.

"Are you deaf, boy? There's no one else here but me."

Usopp quickly stops the man from closing the door in their faces putting his foot on the threshold. "The man we are looking for is named Emil." he says; he knows that most workers in a shipyard pay little mind to the apprentices, but (name)'s father, the head of the mastmaking department, must surely be more well-known "Big man, bald, a tattoo on his arm."

"Ah! The mastmaker?"

"Yes! Do you know w...?"

"He's dead."

Silence explodes. "... what?" Usopp asks, horrified "Dead?! How...?"

The watchman shrugs, clearly eager to return to his nap. "Had an accident, about... ah, a year and a half ago? A topmast fell of him."

Hearing about the death of a good man, who had always been kind to and even protective of him, is heartbreaking for Usopp, especially since the man in front of him clearly couldn't care less about it. "And what about his daughter?" he asks again, anxiety mounting inside him "Her name is (name), I think she's a..."

"Ah! You should have said it already." the watchman interrupts him; he's smiling... in a way Usopp doesn't like at all "I know (name). Yes, she's an apprentice here."

At her age (name) should have already concluded her apprenticeship and become a full-fledged shipwright, but Usopp is too focused on meeting his friend, to make sure she's ok and tell her how sorry he is, to wonder about that.

"Do you know where she lives?" he asks, unwilling to wait until morning; for some reason, the question gets a laugh out the watchman.

"No, but I know where she is now. It's a bar, not far from here."

A minute later the watchman is probably asleep once more, while Usopp is almost running, Luffy hot on his heels, in the direction the man had pointed; the young sniper hadn't liked the way that guy had spoken about (name), but if she's at a bar it means she's ok, right?, probably relaxing with her friends after a long day at work. Perhaps, Usopp thinks as he tries to assuage his own fears, the two of them can enjoy a drink together to celebrate a new beginning in their relationship... and her joining the Straw Hat Pirates...

Worry mounts inside him again as soon as he sees the bar, across the street from a closed bank just like the watchman had said, with a neon sign in the shape of a top hat-wearing fish; a seedy dark place, with a mainly male clientele where brawls are a daily occurrence. Why does (name) come here to spend her free time? Are there no more appropriate establishments in a large town like Elynia?

"I don't like this place." Luffy comments, wincing at the heavy smoke that envelops them like a cape as soon as they have stepped in the bar; a counter and a few round tables are barely visible in the dim light, the music coming from an inner room loud enough to deafen "You think (name) works here as a waitress? Perhaps she doesn't earn enough with her apprenticeship?"

It would be a reasonable explanation, especially now that his friend can no longer count on her father's help to support herself. One more reason for her to join the crew, Usopp muses as he looks cautiously all around him, the ugly faces of the patrons staring back threateningly, this is not the sort of place a woman can work in, especially at (name)'s age.

He reaches the counter, doing his best to meet the barman's eyes as the man fills a tray with the largest beer mugs Usopp has ever seen. "'scuse me, pal." he begins, deepening his voice since he must be at least fifteen years younger than anyone else in the bar "Is there a girl named (name) who works here?"

Unexpectedly, the man laughs, before pointing towards the other end of the room, where a dark corridor is barely visible beyond an arch covered by a bead curtain, the same direction from where the music is coming from.

"You're right on time, boys." he comments, before raising his eyebrows suggestively; the beer spills on his hands "She's due to begin in five minutes."

Usopp looks at Luffy, seeing his own perplexity mirrored in his captain's eyes. "Begin?"

"Her show. That not what you're here for?"

"Yeah, sure..."

"Good. It's a thousand berries each."

They pay, not fully understanding what exactly they are spending the little money they own for. Still baffled, but determined to uncover the mistery of his friend's whereabouts, Usopp starts towards the arch, Luffy following closely.

*****

Exactly seventeen months since you have started working at the bar, and you still haven't overcome a vague surprise, a weird sense of unreality, as you stare at yourself in the mirror, struggling to admit, even just with yourself, that the one looking back is not your twin sister or a doppelganger... but you.

The comfortable pants and shirt you wear at the shipyard, as well as your hard hat and protective gloves (and your underwear), are in your bag under the tiny table next to the door of what your employer calls dressing room but is actually a storage closet, barely lit by a naked light bulb on the ceiling, with a cracked sink and a full-figure mirror. Squinting at your reflection, you finish touching up your make up and your hair before checking your clothes - the little you are expected to wear at work, and still more than you will be wearing in a few minutes: a tiny fringed top, tied behind your neck, so tight you couldn't take a deep breath even if your life depended on it, without a bra underneath, and a plated skirt in the same colour, so short it only covers half of your buttocks, so as to leave on display what has to be the most uncomfortable item of clothing ever created: a black thong, with an inch-wide strip of fabric descending in the back... and an only slightly wider one in the front. The heels of your shoes are so high by now you could easily learn to walk on stilts; you have scuffed the soles with sandpaper, to reduce the risk of slipping. A pair of large earrings and a black choker with a very fake gem in the front complete your look.

By now you have gotten used to this sort of outfit, feeling even a sense of pride, instead of embarrassment, as you observe your reflection and decide that yes, you do look good. Looking away from the mirror, you spend a few minutes stretching, your muscles still sore after a full day of work at the shipyard, until a quick, imperious knocking at the door attracts your attention.

"It's time, (name)."

"Coming!"

Music has been filtering from the stage room for half an hour, creating the right atmosphere for your performance, but a minute later a new track begins, the one you have been practicing on for a week. A last crunch before you stand, relax your neck and shoulders, and take as deep a breath as your top allows.

"It's showtime."

A moment later you are out of the room; two more, and you have crossed the corridor and reached the stage room. A veritable roar of jubilation explodes all around as you slowly, sultry, walk down the catwalk, roughly three feet above the floor, until you reach the tiny circular stage at the end, lit by a blue stoplight. You rest your back against the black pole in the middle, your legs open wide enough to let the attendees see clearly how little you are wearing, and arch your back to push your chest forward, the fringes of your top dangling gently as your hips sway. The room is too dark to let you recognize the faces, but the room is almost full, no less than sixty people (mostly men, but there are also a few ladies in attendance) who have paid a thousand berry each, without even a drink included, to see you, admire you, and entertain lurid thoughts about your body and what they would do if they had you for themselves.

Is it disgusting? Creepy? Flattering? After almost a year and a half you haven't decided yet; perhaps all three things together, at the same time.

You remain still for a few moments, an hand resting against the pole a feet above your head, before quickly turning around. You bend at the waist and rest your fingers on your ankles, not to stretch but to allow the audience a clear view of your underwear, and a loud whistle fills the room; when you stand, a few moments later, you grab the pole with both of your hands and spin around it, at first slowly, still shaking your hips and flicking your hair in what you have been taught is a seductive manner, and then faster. Your arms hurt already, your muscles sore after all the lifting and carrying your supervisor had you do during your apprenticeship, but you grit your teeth (mentally; there is nothing sexy about a wince, and that is the only thing you are required to be in that moment: sensual, enticing, irresistible) and force them to support your weight as you lock a knee around the pole, lift yourself from the floor and bend backwards, offering the audience a full view of your breast, pushed up and out by your top. A number of upside-down anonymous faces swim in front of your heavily painted eyes; a few of them are already salivating, or reaching out towards you. You remain focused on what you are doing, confident that the bar's bouncers are ready to intervene to make sure the patrons respect the no touching rule; pole dancing is more tiring and dangerous than one would expect, not to mention how embarrassing it would be if you fell on your ass in front of everyone.

Spins, climbs, hangs, flips; there is so much you can do with a pole, even considering the fact that the erotic side of your performance must be predominant compared to the artistic and athletic one, and you have found joy, even pride, in choreographing more and more elaborate acts, and in having the audience clap and marvel at your abilities, like they are doing right now.

And then, after a few minutes of acrobatics and tricks, you take your skirt off.

You are still clinging to the pole with one hand as you use the other to pull the elastic waistband down and then let gravity do the rest, the fabric brushing against your legs's skin; a moment later your ass is completely bare, and the people in the room are screaming.

You have started perspiring, both from the effort and the heating running at full capacity (no doubt to make the patrons thirsty and willing to buy another drink) which makes slipping down the pole dangerously easy; even worse, your left foot is cramping, no doubt because a colleague at the shipyard let an heavy board fall on it this morning. Thank all the Gods you are strong, after the years spent in the shipyard, and resilient, a gift you have inherited from your father; you execute the next part of your performance flawlessly, a(n hopefully) seductive smile firm on your lips as you perform a sequence of figures, spinning around the pole and using it to lift yourself in the air.

As your performance reaches its midpoint, you lock both of your legs around the pole, three feet above the stage as you face the audience, and use your free hand to untie the knot behind your neck, and then tear your top off your body, exposing your naked chest.

For a moment the music seems to disappear, so loud is the roar that welcomes the next part of your act; you let your top fall to the stage before letting yourself slide down to it, forced to hide a new wince of pain at the burning sensation between your thighs. You look straight in front of you, locking eyes with some of the closest patrons, as you move for them, licking your lips, swaying your hips, caressing the soft skin of your chest; in a way you are dancing, miming an act that right now at least any of those present would give anything to share with you, on this very stage even, but that you have never experienced yourself. That doesn't make your job more difficult, in the same way that a geography teacher doesn't necessarily need to have visited the places they describe to their students, or a cook to enjoy the dishes they prepare; your employer had you observe your predecessor as she performed to get an idea of what was expected from you, and instinct and a minimum of general knowledge did the rest.

Still, sometimes you wonder. You wonder how it would be to actually live something like this, to perform for the enjoyment of a person you have chosen and care about, or to have someone else take care of your pleasure, of needs and desires often forgotten in the hectic, melancholic existence you have led since you lost your father. For eighteen months, or even since you left Syrup village, you have focused on your work, given the harsher conditions of Elynia's shipyard and the difficulties in having your abilities recognized, and have had little time to devote to friendship and fun, let alone to romance. Sometimes you wish you had never come to this town; accidents happen everywhere, no matter how carefully safety rules are applied and followed, but at least you would be still at home, in a place you know and where you could find solace and consolation after your loss. You are not ashamed of what you have to do to pay the bills, you may even say you enjoy dancing on the pole and feeling desirable as you strip for your audience, but working nights is hard, on top of the exhausting long shifts at the shipyard, and any time you try and talk to him about turning your apprenticeship to a regular employment contract, something for which you are more than ready, your supervisor pretends he's too busy to listen, probably because then he would have to pay you more...

And then, more than anything, you miss your father, deeply, excruciatingly, and wish you could turn to him like you did when you were little, sure he would know what to do, to assuage your fears and solve your problems. For a year and a half you have lived in a limbo, without direction and without friends and without dreams, doing your best to simply earn enough to eat and rent a tiny room, and all your hopes and future ambitions have been forgotten. Perhaps things will improve, you try to comfort yourself as, after a minute spent wallowing in self-pity, you suddenly remember where you are and what you are doing and hurry to lift one of your legs parallel to the pole in an oversplit, gently spinning all around so as to allow the little crowd surrounding you to see how tiny your thong is; or perhaps you should simply leave, go on an adventure and find a new place to live, a place where your abilities are recognized, money is not a constant worry in your mind and you can finally be happy, as you were living in Syrup...

A moment later, your heart skips a beat.

If you believed in that sort of things, you could almost swear you have conjured him up, making him magically appear out of thin air with the power of your mind; you weren't thinking about him specifically, even though you have done it often in the last two years, but if you had to choose a person to represent everything you have lost and still long for (the village you were born in, the friends and family you had to say goodbye to, the job you enjoyed doing and had hoped to build a career out of) it would be him...

Usopp.

The tension in the room has reached its breaking point; all your eyes are on you, on your body and on the little covering your most intimate area, as you touch and rub yourself against the pole, your hips grinding against the metal, your breasts bouncing. None of those men know your name, most of them wouldn't even spare a glance at you if they met you in the street or saw you toil away at the shipyard, but right now, for a precious and ephemeral moment, they can only think about you, only see you, as if you were the most amazing and precious being in the universe; you aren't, clearly, and any person in your place (or better in your shoes, which coincidentally are the only item of clothing you'll be wearing in a minute) would probably arouse the same emotions, but you allow yourself not to care. Any woman, any person, deserves to feel special once in a while, and who cares if the ones having that effect on you paid a thousand berries each to see you take your panties off?

And then he enters in your field of vision, and everything changes. Your eyes are moving on the faces of the men in front of you, some of them regulars and some who have come for the first time, all anonymous, all equally unimportant... until you see him, standing still with his mouth hanging open and such a bright blush on his dark-skinned face you can clearly see it in the darkness of the room, and in the split second it takes you to associate a name, and a set memories that go back to your childhood, to that face, an explosion of joy fills your heart, your mind, your very being.

Usopp!!

You are sure it's him, even though you cannot see him clearly in the dark room and it's been two years since you said good-bye. What is he doing in Elynia? How did he found you? Did he find you, or he just happened to visit the bar? You have no idea, and you don't care; you don't even think how embarrassed, even humiliated you should perhaps feel right now, being seen by him as you strip naked, given the fact that your relationship back at home was completely platonic - no matter how you had started hoping it weren't. Suddenly all your loneliness, the lack of direction, the hopelessness and the regret that have filled your life for eighteen months disappear like snow on the coming of spring. He's here, to stay or to talk to you or even just to enjoy a stripper's show and then leave, you don't care; Usopp is here with you, and now he's smiling at you, looking as happy and excited as you feel, with that lovely, open smile you remember, and suddenly everything is fine in the world, and in your heart.

He starts jumping about and waving his hands, trying to meet your gaze through the small crowd separating you; the young man next to him, who wears a straw-hat and who you are pretty sure you have never met before, does his best to act as a shield, stopping Usopp from being pushed back by others and allowing him to slip to the forefront. "(name)! (name)! It's me! I'm here!" you see him mouth even though the loud music drowns his words "It's Usopp! I found you!"

I found you. So he was looking for you, you reason as you keep dancing, forgetting both the choreography you had prepared and the moves that would entice your audience the most to keep looking at Usopp, to make sure you don't lose him again, he came all the way from Syrup to see you! You have never felt happier; you have never felt more blessed.

For a moment you feel the irresistible impulse to jump down the stage and directly into his arms, like a faithful wife welcoming her soldier husband home; the men present would love that. But you don't; you smile at him, Usopp's eyes locked with yours, and feel as if the rest of the audience, the rest of the world, had disappeared... and a much more brazen woman had taken your place. A last twirl around the pole, a sway of your hips as you still look at him behind your shoulder, your fingers finding the waistband of your thong; you bend, pushing your ass forward as you take it off, stand as you twirl it around your finger, turn, now naked as the day you were born, and toss your thong into Usopp's outstretched hand.

*****

You barely had the time to return to the dressing room to put your own underwear, pants and shirt back on, when a timid knocking on the door announces the arrival of your visitor.

"Come in!" you invite him as you quickly try to put your hair in some semblance of order and pray perspiration is not making your make-up run down your face, and a moment later Usopp is peaking through the door.

"Err... may I come in? The bouncer told me I could..."

"Yes, of course, I asked him to call you. Please, come in."

He does, closing the door behind him, and suddenly, after just a few minutes in which your heart has kept beating fast enough to alarm a cardiologist, you and Usopp are face to face once more, this time alone, in the relative silence of the room farthest from the bar, both more or less decently dressed. You smile at each other, your joy almost tangible and both so full of questions for each other... and a moment later you are hugging tightly, arms almost desperately wrapped around each other, Usopp's body solid and warm and real against yours, and you had almost forgotten that tears of joy also exist...

He holds you, gentle but firm, for a while, before loosening his embrace to look at you in the eyes. "Wow, (name), you look great!" he exclaims, and that simple, heartfelt compliment does what seventeen months spent stripping for a roomful of strangers never could: make you blush furiously "I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too; I... wow, I am so happy you are here! Usopp, what are you doing in Elynia?" you ask back, making sure to make it sound like what it is, the best surprise of your life and not an accusation.

He swallows, clearly as emotional as you feel. "I... was looking for you; I came to talk to you about something important." he elaborates, before uncertainty touches his smile "We... looked for you at home, and at the shipyard... and someone there told us we would find you here..."

"Oh..."

The unexpressed, but impossible to ignore, question hangs over you, and the last thing you wish to do is discuss the painful circumstances that led you to move to your current place of abode (a tiny, dark room above the bar, that the owner rents you in exchange for a reduction of your salary) and get a second job, but while you had never precisely lied to Usopp, you know he deserves the truth, given your old friendship, not to mention the long journey he has made to find you.

"My father has died." you begin softly as you offer him one of the only two chairs in the tiny room, and move your bag from the other to sit yourself "A year and a half ago."

"I heard. I am so sorry, (name)." Usopp whispers taking your hand, and while he has a long experience in embellishing the truth, like he did so many times to entertain and cheer Kaya up, you can easily see he's sincere, the most genuine sadness and empathy shining in his brown eyes "He was a really good man; I had always liked him."

"And he liked you. I'm sorry if I never told you before, and if I stopped writing, but... well, let's say it wasn't my brightest period." you admit with a sigh, before explaining that the death of your father, and especially the loss of his income, meant you could no longer afford to live in the house the two of you had moved to; even worse, since your apprenticeship is paid a pittance, you have to work evenings at the bar to make ends meet.

"Oh, shoot..." Usopp murmurs, clearly appalled at the truth he had already started to guess; he gets lost in his thoughts for a minute, and you take advantage of that brief moment to look at him. He hasn't changed much in those two years, a few more inches in height perhaps, but it's still him, your dearest childhood friend, the person you felt closest to in the world, and who you missed the most since you left your village. Gods, you think, suddenly filled with shame, how could you stop writing to him? He must have been so worried, and if something could have actually comforted you after the death of your father and all the difficulties that followed, it would have been him, his letters and his affection. You have hurt both, and you have no one to blame but yourself "That is... terrible. I mean, not that there is anything wrong with... taking your clothes off... it's actually very nice..."

"You really think so?"

"I do. You were really nice... I mean, your body - your dance was pretty nice." Usopp hurries to correct himself, stammering as he tries to find the least compromising thing to say "Unless you hate it and feel ashamed of it and only got the job to survive, in that case that's shameful and I am so sorry you have to do it."

You laugh, maybe for the first time in a year and a half; Usopp hasn't changed, he's still the adorably awkward but full of good intentions boy you remember from your childhood, and you feel so lucky to have met him again... no matter how brief your reunion might be.

"Well, I don't feel ashamed exactly; to be honest, what I feel about it changes from day to day." you confess "I have fun dancing, and I do like feeling sexy and desired; on the other hand, I wish I didn't have to get a second job simply to survive, and I can't help thinking that none of those people actually care for me, that for them I am just a pair of tits or an ass with a person attached. In the end, it pays for my food and room, and that's enough for me."

Usopp nods, more thoughtful than you are used to seeing him. "How close are you to finishing your apprenticeship?" he asks in the end.

"I have no idea! I should have already been promoted to full-fledged shipwright, but my supervisor ignores me every time I try to talk to him about it; I'm sure he does it because in this way he can pay me less."

"(name), that's horrible!" Usopp exclaims, outraged "You're probably more capable and experienced than any shipwright ten years older than you, and you are struck in an apprenticeship?!"

You don't like it either, far from it, even though you appreciate your friend's indignation, and are at the moment too happy to see him to focus on your depressing job situation.

"How is Kaya?" you ask him; the daughter of your and your father's former employer, not to mention your dearest friend in the world behind Usopp himself, is another person you had promised to write to and who you really need to apologize to. You are shocked, and horrified, to discover that Khladore, Kaya's uppity and stern former butler, turned out to be a pirate, poisoned her for years to take control of her life and tried to kill her in order to put his hands on her family's inheritance.

"I can't believe it! Poor Kaya. I never liked that guy, but who would ever want to hurt her?"

"I agree. But Kaya is ok; she has started taking charge of her life, and now she wants to study to become a doctor." Usopp reassures you, his smile gentle, unaccusing "She was also very worried for you, you know; and she missed you so much."

"I missed her as well." you murmur, all too aware that doesn't justify the choices you have made "When I lost my father... I wanted to write to both of you, and I knew I could return home, and Kaya would have let me work at her family's shipyard." you admit; the temptation to buy a return ticket to Syrup and let your friends help and hold you tight as you cried was strong, but you let your pride, and your stubbornness, get the better of you "The truth is... I felt too ashamed to ask for help, and I wanted to prove I could take care of myself, even if I clearly can't."

"Of course you can! You are a very capable shipwright, it's not your fault if others take advantage of you."

No one has ever had more faith in you than Usopp; no one has ever made you feel less alone with his simple presence. You look at him, wondering how could you throw away everything you shared simply because you couldn't admit you needed help, and whether he became so handsome in the two years you spent apart, or he already was when you moved away.

"I should have been more honest with you - with both of you. I'm sorry, Usopp." you admit, and your friend smiles as he takes your hand and squeezes it affectionately.

"I am not angry with you, (name); nor is Kaya. But I bet she'd like to receive a letter from you."

"I'll write to her; I promise. I'll apologize and I'll tell her how much I have missed her." you promise, still repentant; Usopp nods approvingly, and with that everything between the two of you is at peace once more, without guilt, without blame, without regret, just the pure and encompassing joy of being together once again.

You are curious to know what your friend has done in the last two years, but before you can suggest you and Usopp move to your room above the bar, since your shift for the evening is over and you have a few beers in the fridge, he says he wants you to meet another friend of his.

"I'd like that. Is it the guy who was with you? The one with the straw-hat?"

"The very same. Luffy is... our captain. Well, co-captain, together with me. We share authority and responsibility, since obviously I am the most capable member of the crew." Usopp elaborates with the sort of innocent, almost child-like bragging you remember from your youth, and that you know hides a deep insecurity about his own strength and value as a person "You remember the ship Merry was building when you left, the one your father had built the masts for? Kaya has gifted it to us."

"So you're a sailor now?" you ask, more than a little envious; your ambition has always been to build ships, not to travel on them, but the opportunity of simply leaving everything behind (your dead-end job, your economic difficulties, the town that will forever be tied to the loss of your father and the solitude that resulted from it) to sail and enjoy the freedom of the sea, is more than a little tempting "If I'm not mistaken Merry's ship was a caravel, it's too small to be used as a trading vessel..."

"Well... not exactly; but Luffy can explain it better than me."

Curious, you lead your friend out of the bar through the back door; the straw-hat boy, Luffy, is waiting at the front under a full moon in a clear sky, grumbling because the takoyaki stand across the street is closed. He smiles, genuinely happy to meet you as if being Usopp's friend automatically made you his as well, a smile you can't help returning while Usopp introduces the two of you.

"Luffy, this is (name), my best friend when I lived in Syrup... and still now, obviously. (name), meet Luffy; he's..."

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy." he proclaims "And I want you to be our shipwright."

You blink. "... sorry?"

"We got a ship from Usopp's friend, Kaya; and I'm gonna use it to find the One Piece and become King of the Pirates. I'm putting together a crew, and we have already a navigator and a cook, now we need a shipwright; and a musician, perhaps. So, are you in? We can leave in the morning."

Luffy waits for your answer, smiling excited as if already sure you'll accept, while you can only stare, mouth hanging open, surprise having rendered you speechless.

In the end, you turn to look at Usopp. "You're a pirate now?" you try to clarify, not accusing but astonished; you knew your friend's father had left the village to join a pirate crew, and that Usopp hoped to see him return, one day, but you never had the impression he planned to take to the sea under a jolly roger himself.

"I am!" he exclaims, prouder than you have ever seen him "We are the Straw-Hat pirates. Luffy is a friend of my dad; he and the others helped us defeat Kuro -Khladore- when he tried to kill Kaya. They are really great, (name), you have to come; you'd be amazing, and you would take care of a ship your father had worked on. Who better than you?"

Who better than you?

You hear those four little, harmless words and suddenly you feel about to cry. As you dance and strip on the pole, you know any of the men who pay to attend your performance would love nothing more than put their hands on you, but it has been so long since someone actually saw your worth, recognized your abilities and asked you to put them to good use.

It has been so long since someone needed you.

You look at Luffy's open and sincere face, your heart racing and your thoughts even more so. Let me think about it for a while, you should probably say, or may I meet the rest of the crew before I decide?, but a moment later, searching in your heart, you realize you don't really need it. Usopp seems to like his new captain and crewmates a lot, and you know he wouldn't invite you among people he doesn't trust; if they are all right for him, they'll be all right for you. Just a minute ago you were daydreaming about leaving all difficulties and disappointments behind to go on adventures and let the sea and the wind guide you, and no one is more free than a pirate, even one wanted by the Marines. You don't care about being officially recognized as a full-fledged shipwright by your supervisor; you know your value, and taking care of a ship your father helped building, one that once belonged to Kaya and that Usopp lives on... you really couldn't imagine a better life.

And then there's Usopp himself - Usopp, who seems ecstatic at the prospect of you joining the crew, Usopp who you have missed so much and you would want nothing more than being friends with again; Usopp who you always had a tiny crush on, and who seeing you tonight has been struck by much more than your nudity and sexy dance moves.

He smiles at you, hopeful and excited and still determined not to pressure you to agree, and whatever trace of uncertainty had taken root in your heart dissolves like snow at the coming of spring. Again, you return his smile, before turning to look at Luffy and offering him your hand.

"I'm in." you announce "Captain, you got yourself a shipwright."

*****

There is a really lovely place you and your father had discovered in the course of one of your exploring walks soon after moving to Elynia: a tiny thicket of trees at the top of an east-facing hill, the sea opening before and under your eyes, the highest waves lapping at the rock, the branches swaying in the breeze. A shipwright's day (or week, or year) is often busy, but on your rare days off, you and your father often came here, away from the chaos of the shipyard and the city, to enjoy a picnic, and the peace and quiet. You often thought how you would have liked to show this place to Usopp and Kaya; the afternoon before your father's accident, you spent it here.

The decision to bury him here, instead than in the town's cemetery, came naturally to you; the headstone was very expensive, but you surrounded the pit with stones, hoping hikers would respect it and avoid walking over it, and planted flowers. A few people who worked at the shipyard and who had made friends with your father came to the funeral, but as far as you know from that day on you have been the only one to visit; in your heart you know he doesn't mind... and that he won't be disappointed, or hurt, that you have come to say goodbye.

Usopp has insisted on coming, even just to depose a bouquet of flowers on your father's tomb, which he does before remaining in standing recollection for a minute. Then, "I'll wait for you at the bottom." he promises; on impulse, he kisses you on the cheek, and squeezes your hand for a moment before walking away, sympathetic but aware there are moments a person has to face on their own.

"That was Usopp, dad." you murmur as you stand in front of the grave, the breath-taking background of the cliff at your back; you know your father cannot actually enjoy the view, but he would have approved of your choice, and it does comfort you to visit him in a place tied to so many happy memories "Can you believe it? He came all the way from Syrup to visit me. He's really a great person, and I'm so happy we have found each other. I have promised myself I'll never lose him again."

The rustling of the branches is the only answer you receive, and the only one you expected; you believe in the afterlife, sort of, but you don't think you have to come here to talk to your father out loud to let him know what you think, feel, and plan to do. Still, you felt the need to come, at least this time; because good-bye are to be said in person, and you don't know when, if ever, you'll be back.

"He has become a pirate, can you believe it? I met his friends last night, they are all amazing; Usopp introduced me, and then we took the beer out of my fridge and walked on the beach for hours, talking and drinking. He has asked me to join their crew; well, technically his captain has, and he's so great and lovely, but I did it for Usopp most of all... and because I need it. We should have never moved to this town, dad; it killed you, and it stole my dreams and happiness from me. They say everything happens for a reason, but I don't know why destiny, or the Gods, have decided to take you away."

The sob that escapes your lips is far from the first that the solitude of the cliff has hidden from the world; you weep for a while, by now used to being alone but still unable to keep yourself from crying your eyes out every time you think back to the loss you have suffered.

"This is also why I'm leaving, dad; there is nothing for me here, and I never dreamed about being a pirate, but at least I'll be free, and surrounded by people who care for me. I know you won't mind, and that you'll be happy for me, and wherever I go I'll never forget what you have done for me; I'll become a great shipwright, and I'll make you proud. Here... I have brought you a gift."

You had offered to reimburse the lady who now lives in your old house, but when you went to talk to her this morning she said you could take it, since you are the one who had built it. Silently, you kneel to place the blue, bird-shaped letterbox on the grass next to his headstone; after all one doesn't receive letters when they live on a ship, and the letterbox had been his idea.

A gentle, sea-scented wind has started blowing; wherever he is, you know the wind will carry your words to him. "I love you, dad." you murmur as you stand, balancing the backpack hanging from your shoulders, that contains the little you deemed necessary to take from your room above the bar "I swear I'll make you proud."

You take your time as you descend from the hill, soon reaching Usopp, who is waiting for you with his back pressed against the trunk of a large tree; a green bandanna covers his dark hair. He smiles as he sees you approach, eyes still wet with tears but otherwise content. "Ready?"

"More than I've ever been."

"Good. Come on, the Merry and the others are waiting for us."

Speaking of a ship as if it were sentient, and a member of the crew, is something a shipwright like you cannot help appreciating; you smile as you start together along the cobbled path towards the harbour, lighter than you have ever felt in two years. As you walk side by side, your hand brushes against Usopp's; this time you find the courage you had lacked last night on the beach, and you intertwine your fingers. Your friend looks at you, cheeks adorably pink.

"Oh, right... there is something I should give you..."

He uses his free hand to fumble in his pocket, before extending something you had completely forgotten you had given you last night.

Your thong.

"I... I mean, maybe you... want to wear it again... or perhaps you should give it back to your employer at the bar..."

Technically you should, since they were the one who paid for your stage costumes, even though you doubt the next stripper they'll hire will want to wear your panties. You think about it for a moment, look at Usopp, and smile.

"Keep it." you tell him "Consider it a gift."

Your hand still holding his, you pull him towards the harbour, the song of the undertow crashing in front of you.

#One Piece #One Piece Live Action #OPLA #Usopp #Usopp x reader #God Usopp #God Usopp x reader #Jacob Romero Gibson #Jacob Gibson #Bellona's stuff

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gingiekittycat · 6 months

Text

ALERT! New Good Omens fic in progress...

Rating: M

Summary: There's something wrong with Anthony Crowley.

Read on AO3

***

Because writing is still how I'm coping with Season 2... here's a new fic in progress. It's set after Season 1 and is not canon-compliant with Season 2, although I did borrow a lot of Season 2 elements (except, you know, this one will have a happy ending. I'm not a MONSTER, ok)

This will be a multi-chapter fic. I've rough-drafted about four and half chapters so far (and I think the end is nigh). I'm planning to update every 3-4 days, as my schedule allows.

Here's a little snippet (below the cut):

Aziraphale feels too happy.

He’s never felt this happy before, and he doesn’t quite know how to contain it. It seems to be bubbling over, spilling out of him, seeping out of every pore of his human body. He really does feel lighter on his feet, like there’s a spring in his step, and he has to double check a few times to be sure he hasn’t got his wings out unwittingly. He can’t seem to stop talking. He’s talking and talking, animatedly, endlessly, not even pausing for breath. Talking about anything, everything, the bloody weather he’s talking about, he’s talking about weather in England, about weather in Tadfield, about the little inn they’d driven by on the bus on their way home and how he’d perhaps like to go back there sometime, maybe, someday, just to say hello to everyone again. Maybe at Christmastime. He’s quite sure Tadfield will have another white Christmas this year, and that’s always a merry magical treat “isn’t it Crowley? Why, it would be positively festive, don’t you think?”

“Festive,” Crowley says. “Right.”

The demon’s hands are in his pockets, and he’s looking at the angel through his sunglasses. He’s still got that smirk on his face, that ridiculous smirk , Aziraphale does not know what that smirk means and why the demon is being so damned quiet. Fashion hadn’t got him, and now not even the mention of holiday festivities, which he loathes, have elicited any sort of impassioned response. He’s barely put more than two words together since they’d toasted with the champagne, and Aziraphale is so happy, he is so very happy, and Crowley’s silence is just positively ruining the whole damned thing.

He wants to push him. He needs Crowley to speak. He needs him to speak. He wants to say, You should come with me, we’ll make a holiday of it, we’ll sip hot cocoa with candy canes next to the tree and we’ll wear hand-knitted jumpers and on Christmas Eve we’ll go caroling—oh good Lord, that would get him for certain, Crowley hates carolers—

“Maybe I’ll come with you,” Crowley says, thoughtfully. “We’ll make a holiday of it.”

Aziraphale walks along next to the demon, his happiness deflating like a popped balloon.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens fanfic #good omens fanfiction #my fic #ineffable husbands #aziracrow

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ammatori · 4 months

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Merry Christmas!!! 🎄✨ Here’s a little gift! A follow would be an amazing Christmas present! 🥰 I reworked an old Good Omens drawing into a Desktop Wallpaper in honor of season 3! Here’s a very close up sneak peak for my non patrons 😊

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dyns33 · 1 year

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Antichristmas

A Sandman / Good Omens crossover, with Dream x reader of course

Merry Christmas and Happy Yule !

When Morpheus had met Y/N, he had felt that there was something special about her, but he had been unable to say what.

Maybe her soft laugh, her beaming smile, her clever mind. At first, after being unable not to think of her for several days, he had called Desire, to check that it was not one of their games to torment him.

But no, Y/N was simply a human that he liked, who charmed him even more after he invited her to his kingdom and that she got along with all his subjects. But it was against the rules for an Endless to associate with a mortal, so Morpheus had made the wise decision to have the happiness of her company only as a friend.

He didn't tell her right away who he was, what he was, afraid that she wouldn't want to see him anymore, but he was pleasantly surprised to receive a smile when he confessed the truth to her. He loved her even more then, suffering from not being able to confess his feelings to her.

"I don't see why you two couldn't be together, boss."

"Quiet, Matthew." Lucienne mumbled, trying to scare the raven away. "Those are the rules, Lord Morpheus has no choice."

"It's stupid, he loves her, and I think she loves him too, I don't see where the harm is."

"Mervyn, I believe there are still repairs to be done in the west wing of the castle."

"But he's right, Loosh. It's not fair. Boss, it's not fair. !"

"Life is unfair." sighed Morpheus as he surveyed his kingdom. "But that's the way it is. I have responsibilities, and I won't put my world, or the waking world, in jeopardy, because of a foolish passion. I've made that mistake once before, I know how that risk of ending."

Dream had a quick thought for Nada. His dear Nada, whom he had loved tenderly and who was now locked up in Hell. Even if he decided to forgive her, he couldn't get her out so easily, especially not after his fight with Lucifer.

Above all, he didn't want such a fate to happen to Y/N. He would not punish her if she pushed him away, he had changed since that time, he himself had been locked up, but if he broke the ban, the Kindly Ones could demand that he send his beloved to the depths of darkness, so that he understands that he had no right to be with her.

He therefore acted reasonably, and one day had the unpleasant surprise of finding Y/N in the company of a demon.

"Oh. Hello... My lord." the snake demon hissed, lowering his head in front of him, forcing himself to smile while turning to Y/N.

"Morpheus, this is my uncle Crowley. Well, he's not really my uncle, but I've known him since I was born."

"Please tell me your "dear new dreamy friend" is not in front of me right now."

"Don't growl, Uncle Crowley. No need to be anxious. Like about next week."

"It's perfectly normal for me to be nervous about next week. This holiday... It's ridiculous. Even you should find it ridiculous. Christmas... I forbid you to celebrate it !"

"That would be ironic and petty of me." Y/N sneered, kissing the demon on the cheek, before taking Morpheus' hand, to guide him down the street, to the cinema where they had a friendly date.

This was the first sign that greatly disturbed the master of dreams and nightmares, convinced that Lucifer was going to try to attack him by attacking Y/N.

The second sign came very quickly, when he was invited to his friend's house a few days later. As he stood in the entrance, he came face to face with a hellhound, a repulsive, dangerous, evil beast.

Except that Y/N didn't seem to see what he was seeing, kneeling beside the creature to hug it, while it was licking her face.

"Hello, little pooch. Yes, I've missed you too. You've been good ? This is Morpheus, my friend. You're nice to him, okay ?"

"... Where did you find that... thing ?"

"Dog ? He was the one who found me. It's been a while now, he's not very young, but he's really adorable. Crowley keeps him from time to time. My other uncle doesn't like him a lot. I can't blame him for that, Dog can be complicated."

A third sign not seeming necessary, Morpheus took the decision to intervene directly in order to avoid a catastrophe.

Of course, if he didn't want to start a war, he couldn't destroy the demon or destroy the hound, so he locked the animal in a nightmare, and he calmly went to order this Crowley to stay away from Y/N if he didn't want to get in trouble.

Contrary to what he had thought, the young woman was not really grateful when she learned what he had done.

"Uncle Crowley called me to say that you threatened him, and took my dog ! And before you went and yelled at him, you said he couldn't come near me anymore, you didn't mention the phones, so you have no right to blame him !"

"Y/N, you have to understand, he's a demon. He's dangerous. And your dog isn't a dog, he's a hound from hell. I think they're trying to harm me in hurting you, and I refuse to let that happen. I'll get you another dog. Christmas is tonight after all."

"But I don't want another dog ! Look... I get what's going on, and I think it's lovely that you want to protect me, but Dog won't hurt me, and neither will Crowley. Yes, they are demons, but they are nice !"

"Demons are not nice." he insisted, taking her hand, hoping that she would listen to him. "It's in their nature to be evil and cruel. They can't change that, and they don't want to either. They were made that way and nothing can ever change that, they can't be trusted. They need to get them back where they came from as soon as possible."

Again, this didn't seem to have the effect Morpheus was hoping for. Y/N suddenly looked terribly hurt, her eyes filling with tears and she pulled her hand from his before running off.

Thinking that the grip of the infernal forces was already very strong on her, he returned to Crowley's place, where he was surprised to find an angel.

"Hello, gracious Dream Lord. I'm Aziraphale, a friend of... I know Crowley, a bit. He explained to me that there were some issues between you, him, and Y/N."

"You know Y/N ?"

"Of course, she's my niece. We were her godparents at first, but I found the joke a little too offensive after some time."

"I do not understand." Morpheus said slowly with a threatening voice, his shadow then filling the whole room. "You know there's a demon lurking around an innocent human, and you are not interfering ?"

"A... Oh damn it. She didn't tell you ? She said she was going to tell you about it, what happened ? I'm sure you did something stupid, you're known for that. Without wanting to offend you."

"Speak."

“Y/N is not an innocent human. I mean, yes, she is, but she wasn't supposed to be. She is... the Antichirst. Crowley and I had been tasked by our respective camps to watch her, but we didn't want the world to be destroyed, nor did we want this lovely child to be unhappy, so we showed her another way, and now, even though she has certain powers, her dog is from hell, and she could still cause the Apocalypse, she's only Y/N, my sweet, lovely Y/N. Please tell me you didn't upset her, or hurt her."

The mistake, or rather the mistakes of Morpheus were all then obvious to him. The christmas jokes. The presence of a hound from hell, like the one who was to join the Antichrist on the day of the end of the world.

And above all, Y/N's sad look, when he said that demons couldn't change. That they were evil, untrustworthy, and had to be cast out. If he thought that of the creatures of hell, what would he think of the Antichrist ? Could he believe she wasn't evil ?

Without taking the time to greet the angel, he used his sand to appear in Y/N's apartment. The poor darling was crying on her couch. She didn't jump when she saw him, wiping away her tears as she stared at him with contempt.

"What now ?"

"I spoke with your other uncle."

"Aziraphale ? And what did you talk about ?"

"He explained everything to me."

"Oh. I see. And you came to send me to hell, me, the Adversary, the Beast, who doesn't deserve to live ?"

"No. No, I came to apologize."

Slowly, Morpheus reached into his long cloak, and stepping into the darkness, he dragged the hound out. The creature growled when he put it on the ground, before seeing its mistress, barking happily as it ran towards her to jump on her lap, licking her face and wagging its tail. Like a real dog, a nice normal dog.

This made Y/N smile, cry a little more, cuddling the animal.

"I thought... I thought you were in danger. I apologize. I'll also go ask forgiveness from the demon Crowley, for this misunderstanding."

"I don't know if Uncle Crowley will brag about it for eternity or if he'll be afraid his side will think he's definitely betrayed them." she sneered, before looking sad again. "Dream... About what you said..."

"I was wrong. It was unfair and cruel."

"I know. It's fine. Your brother warned me."

"My brother ?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, surprised that Destiny could have gotten involved in something.

"Destruction. He came to see me after I didn't cause the Apocalypse. He said it was normal for Destruction to come and talk to the Destroyer of Worlds at least once. He wanted to thank me and congratulate me. He said that my choice reassured him, showing him that he might have taken the right direction, by leaving, even if it had hurt his family and they still did not understand it. He advised me to be patient if I used to meet them, because they could be a bit stupid and judgmental."

Not knowing what to say, Morpheus said nothing. He still found it difficult to talk about his brother and the decision he had made.

It was true that he did not understand.

But that didn't mean he was judging Y/N. He was not unhappy that the world had not been destroyed, and so he was grateful to her that she had not followed the path that Lucifer had wanted for her.

A path that had allowed them to meet. Even though she was his enemy's daughter, she was different. And she wasn't human. And she was in no danger of being sent to hell, where she couldn't be locked up anyway, since she was born to reign there.

"So... Now that you've apologized and aren't going to curse me, what do we do ?" she asked looking at him with mischievous eyes.

"I thought we could go for a walk, stargaze, and celebrate Christmas."

"It's an idea. Although Uncle Crowley will be furious. He says I only have the right to celebrate Antichristmas. Don't sigh, it's his joke, and I think it's not that terrible, whatever Aziraphale thinks about it."

Morpheus sighed anyway, reaching out her hand to help her up and guide her outside. As they were about to leave, he looked up to find a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the door. He looked at Y/N, who had followed his gaze.

"That's not me." she said quickly looking around. "Nor my uncles."

"No. I know who did this." Dream muttered seeing Matthew sitting on a tree, proud of himself.

"Well. I don't celebrate Christmas, but tradition is tradition."

"Indeed, you always have to respect the rules."

The hound and the raven made little sounds of joy as they kissed, before heading back inside, forgetting about the ride, the stars, Antichristmas and the rest of the universe.

#the sandman #morpheus #dream of the endless #morpheus x reader #dream of the endless fanfiction #dream of the endless x reader #good omens

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