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littlethingsinlife · 1 year

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i'm sorry (happier part 2)

A/N: I was not expecting the amount of positive feedback for the first part and I was even more surprised to see people asking for a part 2! It was originally created to be a one-shot but a part 2 really fit well with how the first one ended. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you again for all of the love and support! I hope you all enjoy. I also want to thank my friend, @tummymoth, they really helped me flush out and refine my rusty ass writing (also let me word vomit at them till midnight sometimes).

Pairing(s): Past Lo’ak x Omatikayan!Reader, Ao’nung x Omatikayan!Reader, Slight mentions of Lo’ak x Tsireya

Warnings: Lo'ak's POV, Swearing, Ao'nung saying something sus ONE time

More Info: My vision for this part 2 was to create a reply in Lo'ak's pov. So we'll have a look at what he experienced and thought process (not too sure if any of that made sense) but I was inspired by Joshua Bassett's song "i'm sorry" and it played constantly as I wrote this. Hopefully I was able to do right by my idea haha.

Summary: 7,547

Part 1: Happier

Key:

(Y/N) = Your Name

Lyrics = Bolded Italics

Flashbacks = Italics

Na'vi Words:

Yuey - beautiful (refers to a person)

Skxawng - idiot/moron

Marui - Pods where the Na’vi live

Ilu - sea creature similar to dolphins

Ikran - dragon-like creature

Tulkun - sentient creatures similar to whales

Olo’eyktan - clan leader/ chief

I thought about what I would say

But I’m two years too late

I can’t imagine how you’re doing these days, hmm

Sure, it wasn’t perfect back then

I’ll be first to admit

But it was better than being strangers again, oh

It had been a couple of months since my interactions with (Y/N) dwindled to terse smiles and barely audible greetings. If you asked me to point out the moment our friendship started to change, I couldn’t tell you. When did our bond start to break? When did it even start to crack? We used to talk every day about all the things we did and planned what pranks to pull on everyone, but now? Now, she barely looked in my direction. Now, she wouldn’t even give me the time of day.

I couldn’t remember when it started, but I knew that it was somehow my fault I grew distant once we arrived in Awa'atlu. I guess I was just so fascinated by the new environment and people, I didn’t even realize a rift started to form between us in the first place, much less that it started to grow.

The night before we left to find a new home, I held (Y/N) as she let out sobs filled with fear and anxiety. It broke my heart, but all I could do was hold her and let her cry until she was calm enough to tell me what was on her mind.

“I-I am afraid, what if the sky people come to find us again? I cannot lose any of you; it would break me into a million pieces,” she sobbed.

“If they find us then we will fight and we will win,” I reassured her, gently rocking her back and forth.

“You are an idiot, I was so close to losing you, to losing Kiri, Tuk, how do you think it would make me feel to lose the most important people in my life?” she sniffled. My chest ached at how broken she sounded, but the only thing I could do was assure her and offer her more words of comfort as I held her in my arms.

“I promise that I will be with you throughout the journey as will my family. We love you, and even if you do not believe it, you are a Sully. And you know what my dad always says.”

“Sullys stick together,” we chorused.

That night, I cradled her in my arms until she fell asleep.

Fuck, I completely broke my promise to her, how could I forget? Shaking my head, I tried to reason to myself, “Maybe she just needs time alone. I’m sure she’ll come running back soon once she realizes that it's no fun without me, her best friend.” I felt a small, unfamiliar feeling in the pit of my stomach. “Right?”

I’m drunk too late talking to the moon

Writing songs I can’t sing to you, ‘cause

“Bah! Stop lying, I know you (Y/N). You would have fought alongside me and defended Kiri. You are not the same girl I knew in the forest back home,” I muttered, rolling my eyes and getting up to leave. Honestly, who did she think she was fooling? The skxawng had the balls to insult Kiri, and all she did was sit back and watch. She didn’t even make a move to help until it was to help him by pulling me off. “Talk to me when you’ve come back to your senses,” I called over my shoulder, refusing to look back.

“Lo’ak! Bro—” a hand roughly grabbed my shoulder, jolting me out of my daze, “why’re you just staring off like that?” I whipped my head to see who the hell it was that was bothering me, only to be met with Neteyam.

“Did you have to grab me that hard?” I hissed before my initial anger gave way to a heavy feeling. “It's nothing, just—just lost in thought” I sighed, shrugging his hand off my shoulder.

“Right, sure, nothing.” he crouched down beside me. “Don’t think you can lie to me lil bro, you’ve been spacing out more than you usually do. I didn’t even think it was possible to be more empty-headed than you already are,” he stated.

“Wha—no I haven’t,” I tried to argue, but of course, he wasn’t convinced.

“Can you stop arguing with me for once and just tell me what’s going on with you, you skxawng?”

I scrunched my nose in distaste and inhaled sharply, “(Y/N) and I have been… distant,” I admitted, turning to look at him. “She won’t even look at me. She either only answers me with one word or doesn’t answer at all.”

He nodded, motioning for me to continue.

“I—the last time we talked, I said things I didn’t mean. Things that just came out because I was so frustrated and… and angry. It was the heat of the moment and I—”

“What did you say skxawng, did you hurt her?” Neteyam interrupted, face twisting to show the beginnings of distaste.

“No, no—” I sputtered and raised my hands to calm him before he could go on an hour-long lecture that I absolutely was not in the mood to hear. “At least I don’t think I did… I just wanted to ask her why the hell she was helping fish lips, that’s all—”

“You didn’t answer me Lo’ak, what did you say to (Y/N)? I don’t care why you did it, I want to know what you said to elicit such a reaction from her.” By Eywa, if he would just give me a chance to get to the point—

“I—I told her that she was not the same girl that I knew back in the forest..." my ears lowered as the weight of what I said slowly sunk in. “And that she could talk to me once she came back to her senses,” I whispered, internally cringing at my harsh words..

“You fucking skxawng—”

“Can you stop calling me that? I already know, you don’t need to keep repeating it…” I scoffed, looking out into the ocean. I’m good enough at beating myself up over the hundreds of times I’ve messed up in this lifetime, I didn’t need another disappointed set of eyes on me.

My ears twitched at the deep sigh he let out. “Look, I’m sorry that I keep calling you skxawng but that is exactly what you are for saying something so hurtful to your best friend of all people. The two of you were inseparable the moment you were born. Even if you don’t want to, suck up your dumbass pride,” my ears flattened again. It wasn’t pride, I’m not prideful. It—it was me needing (Y/N) on my side. We used to always be on the same page, and when she said I was wrong for wanting to defend Kiri against those assholes, it felt like she was siding with them instead of me, and—

Okay, so maybe it was pride.

“Admit that you were wrong, and go talk to (Y/N),” Neteyam insisted as he put a reassuring arm around my shoulders, jostling me around to prove a point. “Your friendship is so much stronger and Eywa knows that a heat-of-the-moment argument isn’t going to break that. You should have more faith in her.” His gaze sharpened before he schooled his expression into something calmer. “Just talk to her, yeah?”

“...Yeah,” I mumbled, swallowing down whatever argument was trying to bubble up from my throat and prying his arm off me. “You’re right. I’ll just clear things up with her and apologize. Everything will go back to normal after that, thanks bro—for listening,” I agreed.

Ever since that day

The things I didn’t say They haunt me, oh

And I know that I’m to blame

So, go ahead and

Blame it on me, oh

Our lessons on the ways of the Metkayina were finished, so it was rare for the entire group to be in the same place. But every once in a while, we all finished our chores at the same time and found ourselves near the shore where we first learned to ride the ilu, and sat around a fire hours before eclipse, laughing and exchanging stories.

The rarity of these moments made me cherish them that much more, but two people continued to miss our not-so-scheduled gatherings the past two moon cycles. How was it possible that they were the only two to keep missing our hangouts? Were they together? Fish lips had better not be doing anything to (Y/N) or so hel—

“(Y/N)! Ao’nung! You guys made it!” Rotxo laughed.

“Yeah, yeah, quit shouting will you?” Ao’nung shot back as he sat down next to Rotxo, (Y/N) smiling softly as she followed.

“So, what’ve you guys been up to? We haven’t seen you in what feels like ten moon cycles.” Neteyam questioned.

“Teyam, you saw me earlier today, you literally helped me feed our ikran,” (Y/N) joked. ‘Teyam? When did she start calling him by anything other than his given name?

Ao’nung swatted her side with his stupidly wide tail and swung an arm around her shoulder with a remarkably punchable smile on his face “More like he was trying to make sure you didn’t accidentally give them your fingers for breakfast. They would’ve gotten indigestion.”

“Haha very funny Ao’nung,” she drawled, “I would’ve fed you to Tekay instead, but she would’ve gagged the moment she caught a whiff of you,” she scoffed as she quickly pushed him away by the chest.

“Wait… Do they even have a gag reflex?” Fish lips didn’t budge, he just had a dumb look of confusion on his face.

“No, but they would defy the laws of biology to gag just for you,” she quipped, sticking out her tongue and moving to push him away again, but the skxawng had the nerve to pull her into a headlock.

“Oh, yuey, the ikran won’t be the only ones gagging on me tonight,” he argued with a smirk.

Did I want to punch that smirk off his face? Did I want to gag? Both? Before I could make a decision, (Y/N) grimaced, pushing him away again and smacking him upside the head.

“That’s actually repulsive. You’re disgusting.”

“Dude, keep it in your pants, her family is right there,” Rotxo laughed, doubled over as he struggled to catch his breath.

“Yeah, we’re right here,” I interjected with a smile—wanting to join in on the jokes that were being thrown around—but it was hard to keep my face from falling when I saw (Y/N)’s bright expression falter.

“Anyway, what were you guys talking about before Ao’nung and I arrived?” she asked in a too-bright tone of voice she only used when she desperately wanted to change the subject. As if everyone came to an unspoken agreement to forget about the conversation before, one by one they all started talking about who they thought would win in a fight—Toruk Makto, or our Olo’eyktan, Tonowari.

The sound of laughter and excited chatter faded as I replayed the previous conversation in my head. When did they start joking around like that? Why the hell did fish lips call her yuey like it was the most natural thing in the world? How come she smiled so easily with him but faltered when she sees me? She was probably smiling with him right now—

I looked over at her, a pit in my stomach already forming at the idea of her smiling at him, but she looked so distant, so withdrawn from everything around her. Before I could even blink, she put a delicate hand on Ao’nung’s arm to grab his attention and mumbled something in a hushed tone. After a few beats of silent conversation, Ao’nung nodded and gave her a look of understanding.

Why did he look at her like that? How much time did they spend together to be able to understand each other with just a look? How much time have I wasted breaking my promise to her while she grew closer to someone else?

Standing up, I made up my mind that I would talk to her and clear up any miscommunication. There was no way in hell I was about to let fish lips ruin our childhood friendship. Before I could even get close, Neteyam pulled me aside.

“Bro, why’re you glaring at everyone?” he asked with concern written all over his face.

“Glaring?” I tilted my head in confusion. “I’m not glaring, this is just my face.”

“No, no.” He shook his head. “I’m your brother, I know your face. Whatever look you’ve been throwing at Ao’nung and (Y/N)? You may as well have been throwing knives at them.”

Behind Neteyam, I could see (Y/N) get up to bid everyone good night and slowly walk in our direction. This was my chance, I just needed this overbearing idiot to leave me alone.

“Whatever look you think I’m giving to them, you’re wrong,” I denied. “Can you not act like this right now?” My tail flicked side to side impatiently, an obvious twinge of annoyance clear in my tone. I licked my lips nervously as I could hear footsteps coming closer. Leaning slightly to the side, I looked behind Neteyam to see (Y/N) and—

Ao’nung? What? Why is he there?

“Good night,” (Y/N) muttered, not sparing us a glance as she walked past. I followed her every move and—as if everything slowed down—my eyes narrowed as they found Ao’nung’s hand placed on her lower back, leading her gently in the direction of the marui.

I know that I’m too late

But I’ll say it anyway

I’m sorry

Though it's far too late

“I did it! Did you see that Reya?” I shouted—out of breath—as I showed off the shell Tsireya threw.

“Yes, yes you did it!” She exclaimed, excitedly wrapping her hand around mine. For someone who spent so much time underwater, her hand radiated so much warmth. So easy to hold. My heart swelled with pride as she continued to compliment me. “You’ve improved so much!”

“Yeah? Well, I had a great teacher,” I joked, nudging her softly with my shoulder. It wasn’t just her hands that were warm either, she just seemed to radiate it.

“Oh stop, you flatter me too much,” she denied, fidgeting with her hair. Was that a blush on her face? “C’mon, why don’t we catch up with the others? Private lessons are officially done for the day,” she announced as she led me to shore. Oh Eywa, she looked so pretty like this, with her hair flowing down her back and the way her eyes cast down when she became flustered. And her smile, it was a smile that could knock the air out of my lungs.

While we walked onto shore, we joked around and laughed with each other, talking about anything and everything. The ease of each reply and joke came as smoothly as gliding through the water on an ilu—as easy as breathing. Laughing at another one of Tsireya’s jokes, my eyes scanned the village as we approached it. Families were winding down for the day as they cooked dinner, although I didn’t see mine anywhere nearby aside from Kiri.

My smile slowly dropped when I was able to make out Kiri looking frantically around as if she was searching for someone. Tsireya and I made our way to her, worry filling the pit in my stomach. As we got closer, I could see Ao’nung climb down one of the roots of the Mangrove trees and make a beeline toward her. My eyes stayed on both of them, making sure that fish lips didn’t do anything to Kiri.

Ears twitching I was able to make out the words, “(Y/N)? Did you find her? ” from Kiri as they were carried on the wind toward us.

“Yeah I did, I was able to get her to eat, but she’s not looking too good,” Ao’nung replied with concern lacing his voice.

Brows furrowing, I pulled Ao’nung by the shoulder. “What do you mean she’s not looking good? Where is she? What did you do?”

“What the hell do you mean? I didn’t do shit, freak.” I rolled my eyes at the insult. He couldn’t use that thick head of his to think of anything else to call me? From the pained look on his face, I could tell that my grip on his shoulder had too much pressure. Good. Served him right.

Before Ao’nung and I could continue our argument Kiri groaned, “Will the both of you skxawng shut up! I’ll go talk to her.” My eyes followed her retreating form as she went to talk to (Y/N)—tail lashing back and forth in agitation all the while—before turning back to Ao’nung.

Who the hell did he think he was? I’d beat his skxawng ass if he hurt (Y/N) in any way. He had no right to look so damn worried. They weren’t even close. What even happened? How long had she been missing for Kiri to go to fish lips of all people for help? Should I follow Kiri? Why didn’t (Y/N) come to me? She always came to me, and if she came to me now, I absolutely would have listened. Why—

“Lo’ak? Hey, are you okay? Lo’ak?” a hand softly placed itself on my arm. Closing my eyes in frustration, I sighed.

“Yeah, perfectly fine.”

Damn it, was that when it started? How idiotic and blind have I been that I didn’t even notice that her trust in me started to slip and die when it was right in front of me? Why didn’t I go to her and make sure she was okay? I should’ve punched that idiot’s lights out—

“Ao’nung! Stop pulling me you skxawng, you’re walking too fast, slow down!” a hushed voice chastised.

“C’mon yuey, we only have about an hour before eclipse, we have to hurry!” His voice grated against my ears as he responded.

“That’s plenty of time!” (Y/N) insisted. I could hear the laughter bubbling up in her voice as she chased after him. “Please Ao’nung slow down, I can’t keep up.”

“It can’t be helped, you’re so short—” a whack could be heard. “Ow!”

“I’m as tall as Tsireya, you giant!”

“Both you and my sister are short—Ow! Alright, just because you did that, you leave me no choice,” Ao’nung said, throwing (Y/N) over his shoulder with a laugh.

The bickering voices got closer, and my eyes narrowed at the way he held her. My breath hitched as he whispered something in her ear that made her ears perk up and her eyes widen. What the hell was he saying to her? Before I could spring up from my spot, Ao’nung tossed (Y/N) in the water, her yelp quickly interrupted by the sound of her body hitting the water.

I stayed in my spot as shock zipped through my body. Letting out a breath I didn’t know I held, her head popped out of the water, a playful glare on her face.

“I told you, you left me no choice,” he stated, guffawing at her expression.

“Oh yeah?” she groused, spitting out seawater as she wrung out her hair. “Well fuck you too. Help me out of here?”

“Only if you say the magic word,” he taunted, crossing his arms with a smirk. “Otherwise, I’m afraid my hands are tied.”

“Please, oh great son of our Olo’eyktan, help me out of the ocean,” she beckoned dramatically, sarcasm dripping from every word while she rolled her eyes. “It’s about time you recognized my proud lineage, forest dweller,” he said as his chest puffed out with a hand reaching towards (Y/N). And there was that stupid smile on his face.

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, a mischievous smile spreading across her face as she reached for his hand, making sure to tug with enough force to unceremoniously yank him into the water.

“So much for the son of a great warrior! Your instincts are shit!”

“My instincts are dull you say?” he questioned as his head popped up next to her. “We’ll see about that!”

“Wha—AHHH—'' she wheezed. “No, please Ao’nung stop! That tickles!” Her arms flailed wildly in an attempt to free herself from his grasp.

What the fuck.

My ears flattened at an angle as I tried to process the scene unfolding before me. When did she start laughing with him? That should’ve been me she was laughing with. Not him, not the skxawng who had been nothing but rude to us since we arrived. What… what was I even saying—Fuck I didn’t know anymore. Why did I feel like this every time I saw them together… laughing and making jokes like we used to?

And it was me, it wasn’t you

It’s cliche, but it’s true

I wasn’t thinking how I usually do, oh

And is your momma doing well?

Or does she still hate me?

But it was hard to watch me put you through hell

I’m drunk, too late, talking to the moon, ooh

Writing songs I can’t sing to you, ‘cause

Two weeks had passed since I started noticing the changes in (Y/N)’s relationship—friendship?—with Ao’nung. It was like every time I blinked, I could see her laughing loudly as Ao’nung tickled her with a triumphant smile on his stupid face. Since that day, I had been trying to find a way to talk to (Y/N), but she was never alone. She was always with him and when she wasn’t, she disappeared and I couldn’t find her no matter how hard I looked.

Now here I was, wandering around trying to look for her as I rehearsed what I wanted to tell her.

Where could she be? Dinner was in an hour and she wasn’t anywhere near our marui. I had to find her soon so there would be enough time for us to talk. I had to tell her that I miss her, that I was sorry for being so dumb, that I shouldn’t have let my pride blind me, and that I didn’t mean any of the things I said.

There was only one place I hadn’t looked yet… hopefully she was there.

As I was getting closer to the root Kiri stalked to, I could see two silhouettes beside each other. An all-too-familiar feeling bloomed in my chest once I registered that she was there with him.

Her melodic laughter made my steps falter. I clenched my fists tightly, contemplating if I should go over there and pull her away, force her to talk to me, to listen. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t do that to her, not when she looked so content, so happy.

Ever since that day

The things I didn’t say

They haunt me, oh

I know that I’m to blame

So, go ahead and

Blame it on me, oh

“Lo’ak? You said you were going to look for (Y/N) and never came back. She’s already in the marui helping mom cook,” Kiri stated, a twinge of annoyance lacing her voice. “Hey, are you listening?” She shook my arm slightly, making me jump out of my stupor.

“Yeah, sorry, you said dinner was ready?” I asked as I stared off.

The sand beside me crunched softly as Kiri made a move to sit beside me. “No, I said that (Y/N) is with mom helping her cook. Where is your head at?” she asked as she tilted her head to try and meet my gaze. “Are you alright?” The annoyance in her voice shifted to concern.

“I’m fine, yep—just… fine,” I brushed her off, hoisting myself up to head towards Mom and Dad for dinner before Kiri yanked me back down.

“Lo’ak, don’t pretend you’re okay when you’re not. Tell me what’s going on,” she urged. “Maybe I can help you with whatever it is that’s occupied your mind lately.”

I inhaled sharply, debating if I should tell her what had been muddying my mind, the reason why I had been so spaced out, why I had been glaring daggers at fish lips each time I saw his stupid face next to (Y/N)—how confused I was.

“Stop with the thinking skxawng, you might hurt yourself,” she admonished. “Just tell me. It’s not like I can’t handle it.”

Huffing, I rolled my eyes and turned away from her to look at the sea. I hadn't even said anything yet and Kiri was already making me feel idiotic. How was I supposed to tell her what's been going on like this? Maybe if I kept quiet for long enough, she would get tired of waiting for me to start talking and go on to eat dinner without me.

A couple of minutes of silence passed.

I could still feel her staring at me.

“I’ve—I’ve been conflicted,” I started, tongue feeling heavy in my mouth as I continued to stare at the shoreline. “I don’t know what I’m feeling.”

“What do you mean?” Kiri nudged my shoulder with hers. “Elaborate a little more, I can’t help if you don’t tell me the reason why you’re feeling confused.”

“...Whenever I see (Y/N) with Ao’nung, it’s as if I can feel my heart aching,” I said, motioning toward my chest to prove my point. “There’s always a… a surge of anger that rushes through me. All I want to do is pull her away from him so then everything can go back to the way things used to be—for us to be okay.”

“Lo’ak…” If I was looking at her, I’d probably see Kiri tilt her head with sympathy. But sympathy isn’t what I needed right now.

“I want her to look at me and smile, to laugh with me, hug me—but now, whenever I get close to her, she’s next to him, laughing with him, cracking the jokes we would make to each other… I just—” I rubbed at my face in frustration. It wasn’t as if the words were hard to come by—I had spent so much time bottling them up that it was hard to stop talking. No, I just hated the fact that I felt this way in the first place. “I don’t understand why seeing them makes me feel like my heart is about to explode—why it makes me want to scream. It hurts.”

“Lo’ak” she put a hand on my shoulder. “Are you—are you in love with (Y/N)?”

Love?

I sputtered in surprise and whipped my head toward Kiri to see if she was joking or not. What kind of a sick question was that? I wasn’t in the mood for any games.

“What? No, she’s like my… sister?”

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “If you’re not, then why does seeing her with Ao’nung hurt you so much? Why do you care as much as you do?”

“I shouldn’t!” I wrenched my shoulder away from her hand and stood up. The need to move around and do something—anything—was too much. There was too much energy thrumming right beneath my skin to sit still anymore.

“That’s the problem! After everything I said to her, done to her? I don’t have the right to say I’m in love with her. She’s my childhood friend, Kiri. That’s all our relationship has ever been… I just—” I paused in thought and tried to calm down. “I didn’t realize seeing her have so much fun with someone else would make me feel so, so hollow—”

“Let me ask you something, you have to promise to be completely honest with me, okay?”

I nodded, not even looking in her direction.

“When (Y/N) tried to pull you off from Ao’nung that one fight months ago, what did you feel? Angry? Betrayed? Jealous?”

Jealous? Did she really think I was sulking for months because of such a petty feeling? I’m not a jealous person. I never have been.

“Seeing her jump in to get me off him made me feel like she was siding with him and telling me that I was wrong. Her actions were clear as day to me, Kiri.” I started to pace around. “She was protecting him—caring for him when she should’ve been next to me, helping and supporting me. When she did that—I felt like the only person that’s ever been on my side—” I croaked and turned my head to look at Kiri as tears stung my eyes “The only person who didn’t see everything I did as some sort of disappointment or failure, abandoned me and chose someone else.”

“...”

“I know that I could’ve approached her a different way but how could I when I felt so broken?” I inhaled sharply, eyebrows furrowed. “ It’s all fish lips’ fault. If he wasn’t such an asshole, none of this would have happened, and (Y/N) and I would still be the same, she would still be by my side—supporting me, loving me.”

“Why do you keep blaming it on Ao’nung?”

“Because it is his fault that things have turned out the way it has.” I threw my hands up, exasperated. What wasn’t Kiri getting? “He’s getting in between my relationship—er—friendship with (Y/N)! If he wasn’t there I would be able to talk to her and tell her I’m sorry, but she’s always with him—”

“Stop! Are you hearing yourself?” She nudged at my foot to interrupt and scoffed. “You’re unbelievable, you know that? (Y/N) told me what you said to her, how ‘she wasn’t the same girl’ you knew back in the forest. Do you know what happened when you told her that? Do you know how much pain she was in?”

Pain? I snorted, turning towards Kiri. “Now I know what you’re saying is bullshit. You know how (Y/N) is—if she really was pissed at me she would’ve come to me instead of running to someone else.”

“She wasn’t pissed. She cried because of you, Lo’ak. Because of what you said.” I stopped dead in my tracks to look at her. Kiri's eyes didn’t waver. Another heavy feeling settled on my chest and clawed its way up my throat. If you had asked me what it was, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you. Was I sad? Guilty? Angry? Was I jealous like she said?

I settled on anger.

“If you’re saying what I think you’re saying—”

“The person that found her that night, the one who comforted her? That was Ao’nung. He held her in his arms as she sobbed when I found them.” She stood up too, forcing me to stop pacing.

“The last thing I want to hear about right now is him, Kiri. What the fuck—”

“Did you ever think about why she’s so comfortable with him now? Why they’re so close? While you ignored her for weeks, he made sure she was okay—made sure she ate every day. He didn’t leave her side until she finished,” Kiri pointed out, and before I could even think to open my mouth to remind her how shitty he was to her especially, she cut me off. “Yes, he was an asshole at the beginning, and yes he has a screwed-up way to show he cares, but he stepped up when you fucked up.” She poked my chest with a glare before she continued.

“Oh, so I’m a fuck-up now?” I asked wryly.

“You can’t put all the blame on someone that took care of your best friend. Stop being so blinded by your pride and hatred and see that you’re the real reason why your relationship with (Y/N) isn’t the same as it used to be.”

My heart sank a little more as I scrambled for something to say. “How could you say that—”

“No, you do not get to interrupt me right now, Lo’ak.” Her eyes flashed with something closer to anger than annoyance. When was the last time I saw her angry? “Listen and listen well. When we couldn’t find (Y/N) and we were looking for her everywhere—he was the one that found her spot, the one she isolated herself to so she could cry alone, and no one would see how much pain she was in. And what were you doing in the meantime?”

My ears flattened at her rising tone, and I was finally beginning to understand the weight stuck in my throat and chest. Not anger, not even jealousy.

“You were out there with Tsireya, stuck in your own little world.”

It was my fault.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy that you found her but you can’t have both of them. You can’t be that selfish. From (Y/N)’s perspective, you’ve already chosen the one you want.”

“It’s not like I’ve actually chosen anyone yet,” I tried to interject, but all the fight had left my voice as Kiri’s words dug into my skin and sunk in.

“Don’t you dare play with either of their feelings. (Y/N) held so much love for you in her heart, she allowed herself to break to the point of no repair because she didn’t want to show you how much it hurt her to see you at your happiest with Tsireya.” She paused before continuing, her voice losing its edge. “Let her move on, brother. And if it’s Ao’nung that makes her light up the way she used to, then you suck it up and let him. He was there when your pride wouldn’t even let you apologize or even look in her direction. Actually think about how she feels for once.”

I hated the fact that there wasn’t anything I could say to prove her wrong.

“It’s all I’ve been thinking about nowadays,” I muttered.

I know that I’m too late

But I’ll say it anyway

I’m sorry

I’m sorry, hmm

I’m sorry

Though it’s far too late

“I thought I was already doing that,” a faint voice huffed in annoyance. Turning the corner, I saw Ao’nung and (Y/N) standing on the beach together— far too close for my liking.

“You were, but you got sloppy. Here, you have to move your hips like this,” he said as he corrected her posture. My ears flattened against my head as he put a hand on her hip and gently directed her movement.

Why did he look so gentle with her?

“Ao’nung,” (Y/N)’s voice rang out, clear as crystal despite her uncertain tone. “Are you sure you should be teaching me this? This is a traditional Metkayina dance, right? I’m…” she hesitated, her voice becoming smaller. “I’m not Metkayina—”

“Yet.” He interrupted, holding her face in his hands. “You are not Metkayina yet. Once you become one of us, you will have to learn the dance to celebrate the return of our spirit brothers and sisters, so why not learn that now?” I hated how reassuring his voice was. The thought of how either of their eyes looked as they held contact made my stomach turn.

“Yeah… you’re right,” she mumbled with an unsure look on her face.

“Woah, hey pretty girl, look at me,” he insisted, laying his hands on her shoulders and bending his neck so they were at eye level. “I’m serious when I say you will become Metkayina one day, so don’t worry yourself over it right now. Okay?” Ao’nung tilted his head to the side, an unbelievably soft expression on his face. “You have me here to help you.”

“Alright…” (Y/N) mumbled, not convinced.

“If you don’t get rid of that look on your face I’ll throw you into the water,” he said as his face shifted from sincerity to something mischievous. “Or worse… I’ll tickle you,” he threatened.

“You better not Ao’nung, or I swear to the Great Mother herself I will hu—AHH—get away, you skxawng!'' She laughed as she tried to run away, but Ao’nung grabbed hold of her waist and pulled her into his arms. And despite her words of protest, it was clear as day that she was leaning into him while they scuffled on the sand.

“No!” she shrieked with glee. “You can’t make me go in there again!”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that, forest dweller!”

A thought occurred. Should I go up to them? We never got the chance to talk, after all. I took a few steps in their direction before freezing. When was the last time I heard her laugh like that? She had the biggest smile on her face, and the one who made that happen wasn’t me—it was him.

And if you ever hear this

I hope you know that

I’m not proud of who I’ve been, ooh

And if I see you again

I hope you know that

I wish you nothing but the best

And my biggest regret

The afternoon was quiet, relative silence only interrupted by the crashing of waves. Without much to do, I just sat in our marui and lazed around with Tuk until a horn blew.

“The tulkun have returned! Everybody—our brothers and sisters have returned!” Tsireya’s voice rang out, and when I poked my head out to see what the fuss was about, I saw the megawatt smile on her face, as she swam by on her ilu.

The village came to life as everyone mounted either ilu or canoe to make their way to the tulkun. From here, I could see little more than a large group of dark shapes making their way through the water. Payakan himself was dauntingly huge, but to see a whole pod of them show up like this? It was spectacular. I watched the commotion unfold from one of the walkways, lost in thought before I felt water splashing at my feet.

“Come on Lo’ak! Don’t just stand there, let’s go see the tulkun together!” Tsireya urged, still smiling. Shaken out of my stupor, I grinned widely—diving into the water and clambering onto her ilu. lu may be lithe animals, but I could still feel sinuous muscle under velvety skin as it made adjustments in the water to keep balance.

“I’ll come, but only if you’re offering a ride,” I joked, gently holding her waist and playfully leaning onto her. The cool water around us made her skin feel that much warmer. It was nice.

Before I could see her reaction—I would’ve bet anything at that moment that her cheeks had become flushed—we began to quickly make our way toward the rest of the clan and the giant tulkun.

The air around me vibrated with the excitement and happiness of loved ones returning, and Tsireya was no exception—the speed of the ilu gave away her eagerness to be with her spirit sister. As we leaped into and out of the water, Tsireya’s laughter was carried by the wind and reached my ears. That, and the answering whoops and bellows of Metkayina and tulkun alike, was almost contagious enough to get carried away by the energy surrounding us.

“My spirit sister is down there,” she said as she dismounted, sliding off her ilu and into the water. “Wait here, yeah?” she smiled at me before diving down.

I was more than happy to watch the Na’vi around me. Looking around, I was in awe of the sheer amount of tulkun gathered in one area, and how each Metkayina was able to identify their spirit sisters or brothers so easily. Looking down into the shifting waters, I saw Tsireya catching up with her spirit sister, waving her hands around and swimming through the water alongside her.

All around, I could hear people telling stories and the deep, booming calls of the tulkun as they responded with tales of their own. New parents were showing their babies and calves, and as my eyes scanned the horizon, I could see small children holding onto the tulkun’s fins as they were lifted to the glittering ocean surface.

Not too far away, I heard the sound of a body hitting the water and the sound of grating, but familiar laughter along with an indignant (Y/N) sputtering.

“Ao’nung, what the fu—”

“Hey, hey, relax! It’s just some water. There are children here, yuey,” Ao’nung chided with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“The parents of those children are going to have to explain what it means to return to Eywa once I’m through with you,” she retorted, treading water and becoming even more unamused when he raised his hands in mock surrender.

“Woah there pretty girl, you’re talking to the son of the mightiest warrior in all of Pandora—”

“That’s funny, I don’t see Neteyam here,” she interjected, pretending to search the waters around them before turning back to Ao’nung and tilting her head, “do you?”

“Just because you said that you can have fun finding your own way back to shore,” he said as he turned his ilu around.

“Oh, c’mon Ao’nung, don’t be like that,” she rolled her eyes and reached a hand towards him. “You’d really leave me here to fend for myself?”

He turned and wagged a disapproving finger at her, “I’ll consider forgiving you if you say word-for-word that I’m the son of the mightiest warrior in all of Pandora. I can’t have you slandering my father’s name, yuey.” She groaned and leaned back into the water.

“You couldn’t pay me enough to say that load of bull—”

“Nope!” he didn’t give her a chance to defile the ears of any nearby children and crossed his arms. “I wanna hear you say it.”

“...”

“I’m still waiting.”

With a sardonic smile, she finally caved. “Why don’t I do you one better? You’re the mightiest warrior to exist since the time of the First Songs,” she declared, sarcasm dripping from every word as she slapped at the water for emphasis.

“That’s what I thought, was that so hard?” Even if I wasn’t able to see them, I still would have been able to hear the stupidly wide smile that made its way across his face.

“Don’t be such a big baby and let me meet your spirit brother!”

“Just because he’s here to visit today, I’ll let that one slide for now.” Ao’nung rolled his eyes, dismounting his ilu to join (Y/N). “Now hold on tight and hold your breath like how we practiced.”

We? Who the fuck was we? Why was he allowing her to meet his spirit brother? Why were they looking at each other like that?

I watched both of their silhouettes submerge and breathed deeply, forcing my thundering heart to calm as I slowly sank my head into the water. At first, all I could see were blobs floating around in the water, but once my eyes adjusted, I could see the fluid movement of Ao’nung talking to his spirit brother. Eyebrows furrowing, I swam a little closer and hoped that I would be able to see what was being signed. With each movement made, it was clear that Ao’nung was translating the clicks and bellows of the tulkun to (Y/N), and whatever was being said made her smile widen by the second.

I couldn’t watch anymore as my chest burned from the lack of air and I resurfaced to catch my breath. For once, I was thankful for the lack of lung capacity I had. I climbed back onto Tsireya’s ilu. Seeing as she wasn’t back yet, I sat back and leaned on its neck to face the sky.

Did she always glow like that when she smiled? Whenever she was with him—she always looked so happy, so vibrant. Would she have looked like that with me by her side if I didn’t push her away? If I was there for her like I had promised? I wanted to tell her sorry—that I was sorry for taking our friendship for granted, for making her go through it alone. I wish that it didn’t take seeing her smile and laugh with someone else to make me realize how I felt.

I willed my tears to go away.

Is this how she felt? Seeing me with Tsireya? Great Mother… I was truly horrible, wasn’t I? I wished things turned out differently. Maybe in another universe, I did talk to her—realized sooner, made her happier—but now? Right now, my heart was torn in two, watching as someone else picked up the pieces of the heart I crushed. No amount of words could fix what we used to have, and even though I wanted to whisk her away, tell her I love her—that I see her—that seeing her with him made my skin crawl, I knew I couldn’t. I was no longer worthy to be part of her life, because of me and my actions alone.

I had become nothing but a stranger.

Ever since that day

The things I didn’t say

They haunt me

I know that I’m to blame

So go ahead and

Blame it on me, ooh

I know that I’m too late

But I’ll say it anyway

I’m sorry

Hmm, I’m sorry

Oh-oh-oh-oh, I’m sorry

Taglist: @midnightliacr @immortalbloodhuntress @arminsfloll @whenercolorfulrainbowlol @dakotali @lexilander27 @zatarias-pandora @vanillawhale @kazupop @owaowaowawa @sopiasleeps @siabhshjsjsjsjshznzn @jimfiqs @ihave500hubbiez

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mediocre-writerr · 1 year

Note

congrats on 2k! if you can, i'd love a wanda maximoff x romanoff!reader! based on the prompt "all that we are is all that we'll ever be because he's the one waiting at home." - smoke slow, joshua bassett

maybe reader and wanda had a secret relationship going on, but wanda is dating natasha right now. just super angsty, maybe with a happy ending or not, it's up to you!

thank you! and congrats again!

smoke slow [wanda maximoff]

summary: a college au; you and wanda started breaking away from the crowd and it started innocently, until it wasn't. the biggest problem, she's dating your older sister.

warnings: a few curse words, mentions of smut, angst, smoking, mentions of death, mentions of addictions

pairings: wanda maximoff x fem!reader, natasha romanoff x sister!reader, yelena belova x sister!reader

*not my gif*

The night was alive. The air was so thick and smokey. The music thrummed straight through the bodies surrounding you and into your eardrums. It mixed with a variety of conversations, half of them were high-induced philosophies and theories, while the other half were drunken confessions. Sweat flicked through the air with the start of every dance move. Tony Stark’s parties, always a rager, no matter what the occasion.

You shimmied off the dance floor, avoiding the hormone monsters that are college students grinding on one another. You were desperate for some sort of fresh air, away from the stuffiness of the dance floor. The kitchen was somewhat empty, more sober people maintaining intelligent conversations. Grabbing a red solo cup, you filled your cup with beer, as you people watched. Thor was trying his hardest to be Valkyrie in beer pong, but by the looks of the cups, he was failing. Steve, Bucky, and Sam had their arms wrapped around one on another as they sang along to some tune. But your eyes were torn from the scene when shouts of her name rang throughout your ear.

“Wanda!!” Clint yelled the loudest.

Her emerald eyes found yours, like it was the most natural thing in the world, her lips quirked upwards slightly. As quick as it appeared, it faded away, like reality finally caught up to her. You let out a deep breath as you maintained eye contact, trying to slow your racing heartbeat, “Y/N! Dude!” Scott yelled and you looked down at your cup to see it spilling over the edge like Niagra Falls.

“Fuck,” you muttered under your breath, turning off the tap, and wiping off your beer soaked hands. Your eyes filtered back up to Wanda, as the redheaded Russian appeared behind her, intertwining their fingers together. You reach for the paper towel roll, ripping off a few pieces to clean up the mess you made.

“Wow sestra, the party started an hour ago and you’re already making a mess,” Natasha’s voice made you freeze in your spot. You turn to face your older sister wearing her infamous shit-eating smirk.

Your eyes drifted down to their intertwined hands as you gave them your best smile, “Ouch Nat, no, how’s my favorite sister doing? Or I’m so happy to see you!” You tease and she playfully rolls her eyes.

“Yelena would kick my ass if she heard me say that you’re my favorite sister,” Nat said, her eyes scanning the crowd. “Where is she anyway?”

You shrug, “Last time I checked she was about to play a game with Kate. Something about shooting arrows at beer bottles that rested on top of Peter’s head,” Natasha’s eyes widen at your nonchalant tone. Her eyes once more scanning the crowd for your younger sister. “Anyway, back to the whole favorite thing. She can’t kick your ass if it’s the truth. I mean I’m your favorite sister, right?” Your sister rolls her eyes, as she starts weaving her way through the crowd in search of Yelena, “Wait! Nat! I’m your favorite, right?!” you yell over the loud music and the indistinct chatter.

Wanda chuckles, “Are they really shooting beer bottles off of Peter’s head?” She asks with a knowing look in her eyes.

Your eyes shined back with mischief, shaking your head, “Nope! Kate and Yelena suggested the idea, but Peter quickly shot it down, despite them trying to blackmail him.” The two of you share a giggle at the thought of the best friends.

“They’re gonna kill that poor boy one day,” she says and you nod your head in agreement. The two of you stand there in a comfortable silence, people watching.

Wanda’s hand drifts closer to yours, desperate for some sort of contact with you. Before she intertwines your fingers together, you pull away quickly, “Shit. I promised Steve I would bring him this beer. He’s probably looking for where I am, I’ll catch you later,” you smile at her before taking the red solo cup and whisking yourself away. You left so fast, you didn’t get a chance to see Wanda’s disappointed look on her face.

The stuffy room suddenly felt suffocating, slipping out to the backyard, it was a lot less crowded. You slipped your shoes off, rolling up the cuffs of your jeans, as you dipped your legs into the pool. The cool summer night breeze brushed through your hair, drying the sweat that lingered from the dance floor. You grabbed your pack of cigarettes from your back pocket, flickering your lighter to slowly kill yourself by inhaling the small cancerous stick.

Your mind drifted back to the brunette inside, you could marry her. You really wanted to fucking marry her. You had never felt this way about anyone before. Even though you shouldn’t, you know damn well that you shouldn’t. But that night over winter break changed everything for you.

The winter breeze shook through your body, as your legs dipped into the freezing water. You hugged your jacket tighter against your body, pulling out the pack of cigarettes from your jacket pocket. You felt someone’s presence next to you, as they sat down, dipping their own feet into the pool. You slowly inhaled from the nicotine lit stick, as you turned your head to face the unknown presence. Wanda had a sheepish smile on her face, her brunette hair tucked back behind her ears, “Can I have a light?” she asks.

You chuckle softly, flicking the ash onto the concrete next to you, “Wanda Maximoff, having a smoke? Since when?”

“Since right now. I want to try one,” she said, sitting up straight, her voice sounding confident, like she knew what she was doing.

“No, I’m not gonna give you one,” you laugh at her shocked face.

“But why not? You do it all the time!” she questioned with her eyebrows furrowed and matching pout on her face.

God she looked so adorable, but you quickly shook that intrusive thought off, “Exactly I do it all the time, which doesn’t make it a good thing. These little guys are terrible for you, especially when you get addicted. They slowly kill you from the inside out. I mean I have one every day and you know what? It’ll probably kill me one day. At the time, I didn’t have anyone care enough about me to tell me to stop. So no you absolutely can not have one because if I give you one my sister would probably kill me before the smoking does."

She looks at you with her eyes widened and a small smile, "Are you sure this is about Nat kicking your ass or do you not want to give me one because you care about me?" She teased in a sing songy voice as a light pink coats your cheeks.

“Definitely more about my sister kicking my ass. Speaking of my sister, I’m honestly surprised you came to this party. My sister is off on a work trip in Boston and you’re usually attached at the hip.”

She rolls her eyes, “Well, someone was a little convincing today with the whole ‘Wanda please! We haven’t hung out together since you started dating my sister!’ begging act that you pulled today.”

“Excuse me! I was not begging!” you bring your voice down to a whisper, leaning towards her ear, “Trust me Maximoff, when I’m begging there'll be much less clothes on,” you wink at her, causing her eyes to widen and a soft blush to dust over her cheeks. She slaps your shoulder, throwing her face in her hands before letting out a groan, “C’mon, pretty girl, let’s get you a drink!”

You get thrown back into reality, when Thor drunkenly jumps into the pool and the cool water sprays across your face, “Sorry Y/N! Thor lost at beer pong and this was the punishment!” Valkyrie explained and you gave her a tight lipped smile before getting up and going back inside.

You were just going to sit by the window sill away from the rest of the party, but your eyes found Natasha and Wanda’s figures on the dance floor. The two of them moved sensually to the beat and you couldn’t help, but feel the ache in your heart. You couldn’t seem to tear your eyes away until those god damn green eyes found yours and you quickly looked away, sneaking off towards the balcony. No one else really knew about it. But you knew it, all too well.

Wanda’s breath was close to your ear, as she tried to get you to hear her over the pounding music, “Do you want to break away from all of this? I think I need a little breather.”

You nod, “C’mon, I know the perfect place,” you extend her hand out to her and she intertwines your fingers together, not wanting to get separated in the crowd.

Leading her through the house and to the balcony on the top floor, you opened the door for her. The rest of the party seemed to have faded away from your secluded spot. The only real noise was the muffled music coming from downstairs, but even that seemed like it was miles away. The drinks were taking effect, not too bad enough to have you spinning, but a nice little buzz in your head.

The two of you take a seat on the little patio chairs, looking up at the bright city skyline. People like to think of the New York City skyline as one of the most beautiful views in the world, but as Wanda sits next to you with the bright city lights illuminating her face, it definitely tops the city. Once more, you fetch out your pack of cigarettes, lighting another one as it rested in between your fingers.

“You said that when you first started smoking it felt like you had no one who cared about you, why is that?” the brunette asks, staring at you intently as you exhale a puff of smoke.

You shrug, flicking the ash onto the ground, “I started back when we were seniors in high school, after my mom died and my dad left. Nat turned 18 not too long before my mom died and she was forced into the role of being an actual adult because when you turn 18, you’re not really an adult even though you’re labeled as one. Some 18 year olds just finished high school, and are still living with their parents, but Nat had to take care of two younger sisters. She had to put her life on hold for me and Lena. Instead of helping her and supporting her, when our mom died I kind of blew off all responsibilities. I turned rebellious, stopped playing volleyball, hung out with the wrong crowd. Nat always had the disappointed mom look and she was always angry at me, which made Yelena angry with me all the time. So, when I started smoking our relationship was so bad, that it felt like neither of them would have cared.”

“I didn’t know that,” she whispered. It was eye opening to her, you were her best friend. Of course, she knew that your mom died and that your dad left as soon as she died. But it seemed like a new side of you was shining through.

“Not a lot of people do. It’s one of the things I regret the most, you know? I was so selfish back then. I mean even Yelena acted like more of an adult than I did. Now every time I light one of these guys, it’s a constant reminder of what I did…or well I guess what I didn’t do. My punishment for how I acted back then,” you chuckle lightly, “I’ve never said that before, so I better not regret telling you Maximoff.” A lighthearted tone in your voice, as you try to hide the self depreciation in it.

Her head tilts to the side and her eyes are lit up, like you just showed her the most amazing thing in the world, “You won’t.”

A shiver ripples through her body and you quickly shrug off your jacket, placing them over her body. Your scent of smoke and subtle hints of vanilla invaded her senses, quickly becoming addicted to it. “Why didn’t you bring a jacket, Wands? My sister’s not here, so who are you trying to impress,” you quip and she smiles, shaking her head.

“No one,” she mutters, but she desperately wishes she could say, ‘you’.

“What’s got you so angry?” Yelena asks, plopping down next to you with her own red solo cup in her hand. The soft memory fading away from your mind as you shrug. The itch to reach for another cig was becoming too strong.

“Nothing. How’d you even know I was up here?”

“I saw you pouting like Peter Parker when Kate and I make fun of him, so I followed you up here,” she shrugs, “So do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really," you say pulling at the loose thread from the rips in your jeans.

She scoffs, “Let me rephrase that question, do you not want to talk to me about it because it’s about Wanda?”

“Yelena don’t-“

“No Y/N. Look, whatever you and Wanda had going on, it needs to stop,” your younger sister scolds.

You stand up abruptly, rubbing your face with your hands, “Don’t you think I know that? You’ve already lectured me once and I’ve kept my distance from her since then. I am trying my best! Now please, just leave me here to sulk, I’ll be fine just like I always am.”

She throws the pack of cigarettes that you didn’t even know fell out of your pocket. Some of them rolling onto the ground, “You told me you quit these too! You don’t think I could smell the smoke off of you right now? I may be your little sister, but I am not stupid. So if you were lying about these, how do I know you’re really lying about stopping things with Wanda?”

She opens the balcony door about to walk in, but she stops just as she enters the frame, “You’re supposed to be the older sister, right?” She looks at you intently like she’s waiting for an answer and you just nod. “So fucking act like it.”

Yelena slams the door shut. You collapse onto the patio chair, dropping your face into your hands as you let out a shaky breath. Your shaky hands reached for the pack of cigarettes on the floor, neatly placing it in a box, but keeping one of them out, lighting it as it rests in between your lips.

How did everything get so fucked up?

“I’m not this type of girl,” Wanda whispers in the middle of the night. You and your sisters had your closest friends over for a small party. Everyone else seemed to have passed out from Yelena’s drinking games. But both you and Wanda were fighting dreamland and instead giving into your fantasies.

The spring breeze rippled through the two of you as you stood out on your apartment balcony. “What do you mean?”

She shrugs, leaning in a bit closer, “I don’t sneak around in the middle of the night and secretly hope that my girlfriend's sister is awake. I don’t hug someone for longer than what is deemed friendly in a stranger’s eyes. I don’t immediately look at someone who’s not my girlfriend after anyone tells a joke just to see their smile,” she says, as the two of you just continue to get lost into each other’s eyes.

You start shrinking under her gaze, reaching for the pack of cigarettes in your hoodie pocket. You were about to light it when Wanda grabbed the lighter and the rest of the pack that you held in your hand. Your eyebrows furrowed as you stared into her beautiful green eyes, “You once told me a month ago that you felt like you had no one who cared enough to tell you to stop smoking when you first started. So, I’m telling you right now that I care about you and I don’t want you to kill yourself with these stupid sticks.”

A shy smile curled onto your face, as you let her throw your pack into the trash can. “I’m not that kind of girl either, but as I’m staring into those goddamn eyes of yours all I can think about is how much I want to kiss you.” You quip back, ignoring the guilt induced thoughts that are trying to betray what your heart is screaming at.

She snorted at your response, a mischievous smile on her face. The pad of Wanda’s thumb gently traces over your lips and your body freezes. Her hands hesitantly move from your lips to your cheeks, as she stares into your eyes begging for approval. Without thinking, you leaned in and kissed her lips, and the brunette immediately returned the kiss gently.

You place your hands on her chest, pressing harder against her lips. She smiles to herself as she places her hand on your waist. Your kisses become more passionate as your tongue battles for dominance. Her hands on your hips pulled you closer and your cold hands quickly slid under your shirt.

As she ran out of breath, she decided to slide down to her neck, leaving sloppy kisses. You let out a small moan in pleasure, “Wanda?” She hums in response, slightly nipping your neck, “Do you want to take this to my room?”

“Please,” she mumbled against your neck.

When it was over, the two of you lay next to each other. The pants of your breathing filled your bedroom. Your bare chests moving in perfect rhythm to your shared heartbeat. The beautiful brunette shifts her body towards you, looking at you with droopy eyes and tired smile.

“Hi,” Wanda whispered shyly.

“Hi,” you said, charmed.

She grabs your fingers and plays with them, weaving her own fingers between them, bringing your hand up to your lips, pressing a soft kiss against it. Your hands trace figures along your hip. Her gentle hand brushes away a stray piece of hair that fell across your face, as she tucked it into place.

“I have always wanted you,” she whispers, “It’s always been you.”

What should’ve been the last time turned into a past time. Two best friends breaking away from a party started innocently. Gossiping in the bathrooms quickly turned into heated makeout sessions. A breather on the balcony away from your drunken peers turned into deep conversations with her head tucked into the crook of your neck as you hold onto each other.

That one tiny spark that the two of you wouldn’t put out was slowly coming to the end of the cigarette. The cigarette stick was nothing, but a nub as it was about to disintegrate into thin air.

At first it was fun, making a million excuses just to have a simple moment alone. Until, the need for something more came to be and the realization of what the two of you had done seeped into your bloodstream like some sort of drug. A drug that you couldn’t kick. You had stopped smoking for her, but she was this new drug that you were terribly addicted to.

Wanda’s head rested on the top of your chest, as your arms wrapped securely around her. From the curtains of your window, you could see the sun start to slowly rise, and the soft snores from her mouth filled the room.

You kiss the top of her head gently, “Wands,” you whispered in her ear, scratching her back. A soft hum escaped her lips as she stirred in your arms, “The sun’s coming up, you should sneak out before Yelena wakes up.”

“Just a few more minutes,” she whispers, nuzzling deeper into your neck.

“We don’t have a few more minutes, darling,” you respond with a soft smile on your face. She lets out a soft groan before lifting herself off of you. Wanda sat up, pulling your oversized t-shirt over her, and a pair of shorts. Her hair was slightly disheveled and her tired eyes were one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen. “You’re a work of art, Wanda Maximoff.”

She snorted, “That was lame,” she mumbled, leaning down to kiss you. Her lips slightly chapped, but you didn’t care, you just loved the feeling of her lips on yours. “I’ll see you at the party tomorrow night, where we are going to go through with our plan and tell Natasha together, right?”

Even though her eyes were still droopy, she looked at you intently, “Right,” you mumbled against her lips, pressing another kiss to them.

“Y/N, I need you to promise me this time. Every time we’ve made a plan to tell her the truth, you’ve backed out. We can’t keep lying to her like this. I want to be with you the right way. So, please…for me?” she whispered to you.

You let out a sigh, pressing a kiss to her forehead, before touching them together, “I promise.”

“I love you,” she whispered into the thin air.

“I love you. I have loved you, well…definitely longer than I should have. We’ll tell her tonight and we’ll face the consequences together. I promise,” A wide smile crosses her face and how you so desperately wish you could hold onto that smile forever. She wraps her arms around your neck, pulling herself closer to you as she kisses you with so much love, you don’t know how your heart hasn’t exploded. “Now, you should probably get going before Lena wakes up. C’mon pretty girl, I’ll walk you out,” you whisper to her, kissing her quickly.

The two of you reach your apartment door, kissing her once more before asking her to text you when she gets home. You were about to stumble back to bed, desperate for some shut eye, when you bumped into a figure. Your eyes flickered onto your little sister.

“What are you doing up so early?” She questions.

“I needed some water, so I just chugged a glass,” you lied. “Why are you up so early?”

“I promised Kate that I would go on a morning run with her, Peter, and Lucky this morning,” she answered, staring at you intently.

You give her a tight lipped smile, “Well, I uh hope you have fun. I’ll see you when you get-“

“Are you sure you were just grabbing some water? Because from what I saw from here, you were just walking Wanda out of the apartment. She was wearing one of your shirts, which I thought was fishy. But I just thought that maybe she just spent the night. I don’t know why you wouldn’t tell me, but that’s cool. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, I didn't want to jump to conclusions. But all of that benefit of the doubt bullshit I told myself flew out my head when I saw you kiss her goodbye. What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“Lena, look-“

“How long?” She interrogated you and your eyes drift down to your hands as you fiddled with them. Your little sister looked down to meet your gaze, forcing you to look her in the eyes, “How long, Y/N?”

“For the last three months, but we’re planning to tell her the truth tomorrow night at Stark’s party.”

“I need you to listen to me very carefully, Y/N. Nat has sacrificed everything for us! Everything! She declined her top college on the west coast to stay home and take care of us. She took crappy jobs that she didn’t want just to make ends meet when she was just 18 years old! She wasn’t like you. She didn’t throw away her volleyball scholarships. She gave them up. She sacrificed and lost everything! For me,” she took a dangerous step closer to you, pushing her finger into your chest. “And you! Natasha wanted us to have the best life that mom had always promised us, even if that meant putting her life on hold. And this is how you’re going to repay her for that? You're going to repay her by sneaking around with her girlfriend?!”

“That is not fair, Lena!” you scold her.

She scoffs, “Not fair? Do you know what’s not fair, Y/N? The money she saved in her savings account all throughout high school quickly drained, because she had to bail you out of jail more than once. You were lucky that Steve’s dad was the sheriff so it never touched a sliver of your record, but Nat still had to pay the fines. It’s not fair that when I was a sophomore in high school, I couldn’t go to any football games or dances because I had to grow up and cover all of your shifts while you were off getting shit faced somewhere else!”

“My mom died-“ you were about to argue.

“So did ours, Y/N!” she screamed at you. “Yet, Natasha and I were picking up the pieces and you kept destroying everything in sight. So, I want you to think about this when you and Wanda tell Natasha all about your relationship tomorrow night, she has given everything she loves up for you and me. Wanda is just going to be one more thing she loses because of you.”

The two of you stayed there in a tense silence, just staring at one another with tear filled eyes. Until the front door swung open. Out of the corner of your eye, you watched as your older sister wheeled in her suitcase from her latest business trip.

A low whistle left her lips as she saw the standoff between the two of you, “Is everything okay?”

Yelena was first to break her gaze, forcing a smile on her face, something she has gotten far too good at. “Yeah, welcome home, sestra. I’m about to head out to go on a morning run with Kate and Peter, I'll see you guys later.”

“What was that about?” Nat asked as your younger sister left.

You shrug, “No idea,” you clear your throat, subtly wiping away at your eyes while she starts brewing some coffee. “How was the trip?”

The balcony door creaked open as you lit another cigarette. “Detka? What are you doing?” Wanda’s voice filled the thick air, grabbing the cigarette from your lips and throwing it out. “You haven’t smoked for the last three months, when’d you even get a pack? What happened?”

Your eyes were bloodshot from holding back the tears that you were so desperately trying to keep in. You know what has to happen.

The drug that is Wanda Maximoff gave you such a high. You were so addicted to the illusions of the love between you and her. A love that never was and never will be. The worst part about any addiction is that it’s so intimate. You become so close with your addictions that leaving them behind is like killing a part of you that taught you how to survive. And all that’s left of you is pain and misery.

“Y/N, why have you been avoiding me?” Wanda questions, her voice shaking just a little bit.

You shrug, “You seem a little preoccupied. I didn’t want to intrude,” you look out at the skyline, desperately avoiding her gaze.

“Oh okay. So this has nothing to do with what we’re going to tell Nat tonight?”

You shook your head, “There’s nothing to tell. There’s nothing going on between us, Wanda. There can’t be anything going on,” you look at her, the tears that you were trying to hold back were falling like droplets of rain against your car window. “You’re my best friend and you’re my sister’s girlfriend. That’s all.”

“You’re not just my best friend, Y/N, and you know it. You can’t pretend like we never happened because it did, it happened. And I don’t regret it, not one bit. I am in love with you, Y/N, and I know what we did wasn’t right, but I can’t help but love you,” she explains to you, trying to wrap her arms around you, but you shake your head once more as you step away from her.

“This can’t happen. We need to pretend like none of this happened-“ you begged her. You didn’t want to make this harder than it needed to be.

“We have been sneaking around for months! Even if she doesn’t know it, we have already hurt her! If we tell her together, we are doing right by Natasha. She’s going to be heartbroken and angry, but she’s going to realize one day that this was the right thing to do. She deserves better than someone who’s in love with her sister.”

There was a silence that followed, as you just continued to stare at her speechless, “I can’t-“ your voice breaks, as you look down at your hands.

Wanda’s arms wrapped around your waist and you weren’t fighting it anymore. She placed her forehead against yours, her voice pleading, “I’ll fix it please, I’ll do anything. We don’t have to tell Nat until you’re ready, just please don’t do this.”

“You can’t fix this, Wands. The only person who can fix this is me. You’re right, Nat deserves better, and after all the shit I put her through the last five years, I'm going to give that to her. I’m going to be the sister she should’ve had by her side when our mom died. So that means letting you go,” you whispered, biting your lip to stop the sobs that are trying to escape. “You deserve better than me anyway, Wands. Someone like my sister,”

You kiss her forehead, before pulling away from her embrace, “I’m sorry,” you whisper to her.

You avoided her tear stained cheeks and glossy eyes, as you continued to sit out and stare at the city before you. You destroyed everything in sight, but this time you were going to be the one to pick up all the pieces. Suddenly, her gaze wasn’t on you anymore and the balcony door was being slammed shut.

Your eyes drift to the voices at the front of the house, “Wanda, what happened?” Nat’s voice rings in your ear and you can see them from where you’re sitting.

“Nothing, it was just too crowded and everything was too overwhelming. I think I just need to go home,” she says and you hate how her tears are because of you. Your older sister wrapped her strong arms around the distressed girl, holding her tighter.

Fishing out your pack, you lit the small cigarette, enjoying the way it made your head feel. Wanda’s eyes flickered up towards the balcony, noticing the smoke emitting off of it. You let out a sigh, staring at the girl in front of you. All that the two of you were was all you were ever going to be because she always had someone waiting at home.

“C’mon, let’s go home,” Nat whispered to her, intertwining their fingers together, and leading her to the car.

Nicotine doesn't taste the same as Wanda did, but it’ll have to do.

#wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #a mediocre 2k party

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justabigassnerd · 2 years

Text

Lifeline

Pairing - Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x sister!reader

Word count - 4,537

Warnings - mentions of death, injuries, hospitals, angst, fluff

Song - Lifeline by Joshua Bassett

Summary - One of the only people Rooster has left gets in an accident resulting in a very panicked Bradley

A/N - So whaddup it's another Rooster fic (I am NOT sorry). I listened to Lifeline by Joshua Bassett on the way home from work one night and it inspired this fic. I lowkey hope this didn't turn out bad bc it took me so damn long to write aha. Anyways I'll stop rambling. As per y'all, please send in requests, feedback and enjoy!!

You and your brother only had each other. You were adopted into the Bradshaw family long after Goose died and just around Bradley’s seventeenth birthday. Carole had always wanted two kids, a boy, and a girl but after Goose died, she thought her plans were gone with the wind but a family friend of hers told her about a gorgeous baby girl in the adoption agency she worked for that needed a home. Carole spoke to Bradley about it, valuing her son’s opinion and when they both went to visit you, they both fell head over heels in love with you and adopted you as quick as they possibly could.

Just as Bradley was nearing the end of college and looked at reapplying for the Navy, hoping Maverick wouldn’t pull his papers again, Carole got sick. Everyone hoped she’d shake it but as time pressed on and she got sicker everyone started to accept the harsh realities of what was happening. Some people suggested that they take you in since you were still little, and they didn’t want Bradley to put his career on hold to raise his sister but he only let some family friends take you in for a year so he could pass his training and get settled into his job before requesting he stay in California to bring you up without having to move you around all the time. After all the loss the Bradshaw family had endured, you and Bradley learnt to lean on each other. After all, it was you and him against the world.

Now you were eighteen and in the midst of your senior year of high school. Bradley was now an instructor at Top Gun and the two of you were still as close as ever. You had never been afraid to tell your brother about things that upset or bothered you and Bradley always listened, making you feel heard and did his best to help you.

“I’m off to work. Don’t be late to school, drive safe.” Rooster says as he gathers his bag and slings it over his shoulder.

“I’m always safe. What time are you home tonight?” You call from the kitchen, occupied with making your breakfast.

“Depends on when Cyclone and Mav say I can leave. I’m teaching pretty much all of today, so I’d gamble I’ll be back around dinner time.” He replies, grabbing his keys and opening the front door.

“Okay, bye!” You say, poking your head around the door so you could say goodbye to your brother properly.

“Bye y/n/n, I’ll see you later.” He says with a smile before finally leaving through the door and allowing you to finish getting ready for school. When you’ve eaten your breakfast and made sure you have all the stuff you need for school in your bag you grab your keys and leave the house, getting into your car and starting the drive to school.

Once you arrive at school you are greeted by your friends who are all immediately stressing about the college applications you had sent off just the week prior, all anxious about what places will accept them or reject them. You try to mediate the fear by keeping your friends calm telling them to just worry about right now rather than worrying about something that’s out of control. After successfully calming your friends down, you figure it’s time to head into the school building and head to your homeroom to get the school day started.

The day was long and while you were ready to head home and collapse into your bed for a nap until you could make dinner, your friend Abi invited you and the rest of your friends around to hers to hang out for a bit. Given that the group of you hadn’t been able to hang out together for a while you all accepted, going to your car so you could give everyone a lift due to the fact you were the only one with a car out of all your friends. The drive, while not long, was filled with you all scream singing songs that the radio played until you reached Abi’s house. The four of you unload and head into the house, immediately heading for the living room where you settle on the sofa and find your favourite show to watch together and press play while Abi grabs some snacks. The four of you lounge around, enjoying each other’s company and exchanging silly comments and remarks about what the characters are doing on screen. When you next check the time, you sit up straighter, pushing the blanket back and standing up.

“Sorry guys, I should probably think about heading home. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” You say, laughing as your friends groan and toss pillows at you for leaving so soon but you simply wave goodbye and head out the door, climbing into your car and beginning the drive home. As you listen to the radio quietly playing under the rumble of the engine, you started to admire the views. You were lucky you grew up in a beautiful place, so you took any opportunities to admire your surroundings. As you reached a set of traffic lights, you celebrated quietly when the light turned green upon your approach but as you went across the gridlock, a car sped from the left side of your car, driving straight into the side of your car, making your world go dark and silent within seconds.

Rooster was finishing up the lecture he was giving to a new batch of Top Gun students when his phone buzzed. He quickly pulled it out of his pocket to see who was calling and when he didn’t recognise the number, he shoved his phone back in his pocket and continued to address the pilots. Just as he was beginning to dismiss the pilots the door to the hall burst open, revealing Maverick and Cyclone on the other side. All the trainee’s stood to attention as their superiors walked towards Rooster.

“You’re all dismissed.” Cyclone says to the recruits, his voice projecting clearly and sternly to the recruits who obey without a second thought, leaving the room as Maverick and Cyclone turn to face Rooster.

“Rooster. The hospital just called me. They said y/n got in an accident.” Maverick says and in a matter of seconds, Rooster’s world came crumbling down around him. He released a shuddering breath and barged past the two men, rushing through the base to get to his car. His thoughts were running a million and one miles an hour. That phone call must’ve been the hospital calling him. He scolded himself silently. He was so stupid why didn’t he pick up the phone? He was grateful that you had both him and Maverick down as emergency contacts otherwise he probably wouldn’t have known until god knows when. He curses angrily at the traffic jam he approaches, hand slamming on the wheel in frustration as he blinks back the tears building. He still didn’t know what had happened to you other than hearing you were in an accident, so his thoughts were going crazy. What if he got there and you were already gone? He couldn’t lose another family member. You were all he had left. When the traffic begins to move smoothly again, he gets to the hospital in what he dubs as record time, parking his car and entering the hospital in a rush. He practically runs up to the front desk.

“I’m here to see y/n Bradshaw. I got told she was brought in not too long ago.” Rooster says, almost leaning entirely over the desk to address the receptionist who looks up at him for a second before turning her attention back to her computer.

“Are you family?” She asks, typing on her computer before glancing up at him expectantly.

“Yes, I’m her brother.” Rooster replies hurriedly, fighting to keep the frustration from his tone but failing miserably. The receptionist types again on her computer before looking back up at him.

“You can go and wait in the waiting room. She’s being treated right now but I’ll inform someone, and they’ll come and get you when they’re done.” The receptionist says finally after typing one last thing into her computer. She gestured in the loose direction of the waiting room, and he followed her gesture to the room filled with people waiting to be seen by doctors or family members waiting to hear about their loved ones. Rooster sat down in one of the corners of the room, avoiding looking at anyone as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, seeing a bombardment of texts from everyone from Dagger Squad. Everyone was concerned about why he was seen storming out of work. Instead of replying to each individual text, he opened the group chat they had and sent what had happened and where he was. He hit send on the message and opened the text he got from Maverick asking if he was at the hospital and if he had any updates yet.

‘I’m at the hospital but they said she’s being treated. I can’t see her until she’s out. I’m scared, Mav.’

Rooster hit send on the message and leant back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling to try and will his tears to not escape from his eyes. He takes some slow deep breaths to try and remain calm, but his heart was hammering in fear. After a matter of minutes, his phone started buzzing intensely. He retracted the phone from his pocket and saw all his friends sending messages in response to his and then he noticed another message come through from Maverick.

‘I’m on my way, kid.’

Rooster felt a small amount of comfort from that one message and glanced around the waiting room, expecting Maverick to just appear out of thin air. It took about twenty minutes until Maverick entered the waiting room, locating Rooster and crossing to him. Maverick sat next to Rooster and turned to face him.

“Bradley…” Maverick says gently, the use of Rooster's name as opposed to his callsign made the tears he’d been holding in fall down his cheeks. Maverick wasted no time pulling him into a tight hug, squeezing him close as he feels the tears landing on his shoulder. Rooster’s whole body shook with sobs as he cried, clinging to Maverick like he was a terrified little boy again.

“What if I lose her, Mav? I can’t lose anyone else.” Rooster forces out through his cries, blinking the remainder of his tears away and pulling away from Maverick’s embrace and wiping his eyes furiously, looking away in embarrassment.

“That sister of yours is tough. We have to have faith that she’ll pull through.” Maverick says calmly although he too was worried about the severity of this accident. After Rooster takes some deep breaths to compose himself, he nods at Maverick’s words knowing that as much as he hated it, everything was out of his control, and he had to just have faith that everything would be okay. The two talk about anything and everything to try and keep their minds off how slowly time is passing when suddenly they hear a group of people coming and they were shocked to see Dagger Squad coming in, walking over to the two and ignoring the glares from everyone else in the waiting room. There weren’t enough seats for all of them to sit with Rooster and Maverick, so Hangman, Coyote and Phoenix decided to remain standing with their friends rather than finding somewhere else to sit.

“Have you gotten any updates?” Payback asks, looking over at Rooster as he shakes his head solemnly, glancing down at the floor.

“She’ll be alright, Bradshaw. That kid is a fighter. She’ll be back on her feet, kicking our asses in pool in no time.” Hangman says, his tone a lot gentler than anyone was used to hearing coming from him, but it was no secret that he held a soft spot for the youngest Bradshaw. Pretty much all of Dagger Squad had adopted you as their younger sister and they cared deeply for you so you being in hospital had all of them worried for you.

“Family of y/n Bradshaw?” The voice of a nurse has Rooster, Maverick and those of Dagger Squad who were sat down shooting out of their seats.

“I think just Rooster and Mav should go. They’ll fill us in.” Phoenix says, gesturing for everyone to sit down. Rooster and Maverick cross to the nurse, greeting him when they reach him. The nurse leads the two outside and to where a doctor was waiting. The doctor greets the two before bringing them into an office to have some privacy.

“They are just finishing treating y/n. She had some severe injuries when she came in. The car hit her side of the car, so we had to remove some glass and set some broken bones. She did suffer some head trauma so until she wakes up, we won’t know just how severe it is. We’ve moved her into a room, would you like me to take you up to her?” The doctor explains, reading through the charts on her clipboard before looking up at the two. Rooster nods while Maverick glances at Rooster.

“You go. I’ll let the others know what’s going on. Text me the room number when you’re there.” He says quietly, before turning and heading out of the office and into the waiting room to talk to Dagger Squad. Rooster follows the doctor to a lift and then follows her to your room where upon entry, more tears spring to his eyes at your state. Your left arm and leg were in a cast, and you had cuts and bruises littering your face and arms. Rooster pulled a chair up alongside your bed and took your right hand in his own, being mindful of the cannula in your hand. He was vaguely aware of the doctor letting herself out, but he didn’t remove his focus from you. He managed to force himself to take his eyes off you for but a moment so he could send Maverick your room number but the second his phone was off; his focus was back on you. He watched the steady rise and fall of your chest and listened to the repeated beeping from the heart monitor.

“I need you to pull through this, y/n/n.” He whispers to you, squeezing your hand for emphasis and despite the fact he knew you weren’t going to respond, it still crushed him.

As Maverick walked the hallway towards your hospital room, he kept praying in his head that you were going to make it. Maverick wasn’t a religious man, not by any means but if there was an afterlife or whatever people wanted to call it, Maverick had only two people in his mind he was praying to watch over you instead of any heavenly figure.

“Goose… Carole… you need to make sure y/n makes it. We can’t lose her too.” He mumbles to himself as he glances at the door numbers, still trying to find your room. When he locates your room, he enters and is greeted by the sight of Rooster sitting alongside your bed.

“The doctor caught all of us trying to come up to the room and said only two visitors at a time. We’ll take turns coming up here.” Maverick says gently, trying to bring some kind of comfort to Rooster. When Rooster doesn’t respond, Maverick pulls the other chair up alongside Rooster’s to be the support he needed right now.

Over the next day, Maverick and the rest of Dagger Squad would take it in turns being in the hospital room, not only to check on you but to make sure Rooster was okay. Everyone made sure to bring something to your hospital room, either something for you or something for your brother who hadn’t left your side. Hangman brought a bunch of flowers and left them on your bedside table. Bob brought a ‘get well soon’ card he got all of Dagger Squad to sign. Fanboy brought a teddy bear that sat alongside your flowers. Payback made sure to bring water for Rooster to drink while Phoenix would bring a meal from the hospital cafeteria up to him. She had attempted to bring in food from outside, but she got caught so had to resort to the hospital food. Maverick was always there for Rooster to talk to about whatever was worrying him. And every time Maverick approached the hospital room, he whispered a prayer up to Goose and Carole, asking them to watch over you.

On that evening you woke up, it was just you and Rooster in the room. You heard the beeping of the machines and gentle snoring before you opened your eyes, wincing at the brightness of the lights and the pounding in your head. You glanced to your side and saw your brother dozing lightly, his arms folded and his chin resting on his chest. You didn’t want to disturb him. He looked exhausted so you attempted to sit up slightly but exhaled sharply at the sudden pain, causing Rooster’s eyes to fly open.

“y/n?” He questions, trying to figure out if he’s dreaming or if this is real.

“Hey, B.” You say, smiling tiredly.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, knowing it’s a stupid question but he needed to know.

“Rough. My head hurts. The light is too bright.” You grumble, squinting when you make the mistake of glancing towards the light. Without hesitation, Rooster gets up and turns the light off, plunging the room into almost complete darkness with the only light filtering in through your window being the setting sun. Just as Rooster sits down by your side, a nurse walks in.

“It’s nice to see you awake, y/n. I’m just going to check you over and see how you’re doing if that’s okay with you.” The nurse says as you nod slowly, not enjoying the pain the motion gave you.

“Is your head giving you pain?” She asks, glancing down to make a note.

“Yeah, the light hurts my eyes, and my head is just pounding.” You admit, knowing nothing good will come from lying.

“Okay, we’ll try putting you on some different pain meds. When you were being treated, your doctors didn’t find anything of concern with your head injury, but we’ll be monitoring you just to be safe. Do you have any pain anywhere else?” The nurse asks, looking back up at you.

“Only if I move.” You say, hating the way you’re forced to just lie on your back.

“Well, I can only suggest staying still.” The nurse teases lightly, bringing a small smile to your face.

“Is there any way I could sit up slightly? I hate lying on my back like this.” You ask the nurse, your eyes pleading.

“We can try and adjust your bed but if there’s any discomfort, I expect you to tell us immediately.” She says, moving to pick up the remote for your bed and easing the side your head was at up. You hold a hand up to stop her when you’re sat up enough to satisfy you. You were relieved that no pain flooded through you at the motion, and you settled further into the pillow.

“I’m just going to grab those meds for you, okay?” The nurse confirms and when she leaves, you turn your attention back to your brother.

“How are you doing, B? You look rough. And that’s saying something.” You laugh lightly, stopping when he doesn’t even crack a smile at your joke.

“Not the time for jokes, y/n. I was scared shitless.” He says, sighing slightly as he shakes his head, still reeling from the whole ordeal.

“It’s not like I got in this accident just to scare you, Bradley. I don’t want to be here any more than you do.” You say, Rooster remained silent. He was always like this when he was emotional. He would choose to remain silent and stoic so no one could see that things were getting to him. He would bottle it up until he reached a breaking point and you always tried to get him to talk to you about it so he wouldn’t explode.

“Bradley?” You ask, hoping to get some sort of response from your brother. As you open your mouth to press him again, the door swings open and the nurse enters again with some meds in her arms.

“Alright, I have something that should help with those headaches of yours. I’ll just hook it up for you.” The nurse says cheerfully, oblivious to the slight awkwardness between you and Rooster.

“Thank you.” You say as she finishes hooking everything up.

“You’re welcome. You should get some rest. You should think about leaving, sir.” The nurse says, addressing you and then turning to Rooster.

“No. I’m staying. If that’s okay.” He says quickly, the nurse looked slightly taken aback by Rooster’s outburst but ultimately nodded.

“Okay, you can stay. Would you like me to set up a bed for you?” She replies but Rooster just shakes his head thanking the nurse but informing her he’ll be fine where he is.

“Well just come and get me if you change your mind. I’ll leave you two be now.” She says with a smile before leaving. When she’s gone you turn your head to look at your brother.

“I agree with the nurse. You should get some rest.” Rooster says as you nod slightly, feeling minor tiredness creeping up on you and you could only guess it was because of the meds.

“Only if you get some rest too. Something’s telling me you’ve slept a grand total of ten minutes since you got here.” You say and you could tell from his expression that you hit the nail right on the head.

“I’ll be fine, kid.” He says dismissively once he collects himself.

“But you won’t be if you don’t rest. You need to rest. So why won’t you?” You ask, the worry and confusion on your face making Rooster’s expression soften, he didn’t want to upset you.

“I’m just scared.” He admits, lowing his head in embarrassment and fixing his eyes on his lap.

“Scared of what?” You press gently, sitting up slightly, ignoring the small spark of pain that shoots through you.

“I’m scared that if I close my eyes, something might happen to you.” He manages to say, blinking the tears away and still not daring to look up at you.

“Look at me, B.” Your gentle voice encourages, wanting to do nothing more than to comfort your brother. He’d always been there for you growing up, so you wanted to return the favour.

“I’m not saying goodbye this soon. I’m going to be fine tonight. I got my big brother by my side and that’s all I need. I’ll be okay.” You say, a soft smile on your face as you grab his hand. Your smile widened when your brother finally looked up and made eye contact with you.

“I’ll be fine.” You repeat, squeezing his hand lightly as he nods carefully.

“Promise you’ll wake me up if anything happens.” He asks, and you hum in acknowledgement.

“If I wake up with even the slightest amount of pain, I’ll let you know. Promise.” You say, watching as a small smile finally graces your brother's face.

“Thank you. Now, get some rest y/n/n.” He says as you yawn and settle back on the pillows.

“You better get some rest too otherwise I’ll kick your ass.” You mumble, letting your eyes close as Rooster lets out a soft laugh.

“I promise I’ll get some rest. I love you, y/n/n.” He replies, smiling as you snuggle into the pillow.

“I love you too, B.” You mutter before allowing sleep to beckon you. Your breaths becoming slow and deep within seconds. Rooster watches you for a minute before folding his arms and resting his chin against his chest once more and allowing his tired eyes to close, welcoming sleep as it comes.

Rooster was awoken the next morning by all his friends entering and when he looked over at them confused, they were quick to explain.

“The nurse let us all come up. We must’ve bugged them so much yesterday that they just gave in this morning.” Fanboy explains, a shit-eating grin on his face that the naval aviators were able to get what they wanted.

“How’s she doing?” Phoenix asks, looking from where you were laid asleep peacefully to where Rooster was sat, handing him a granola bar to eat.

“She woke up last night. She’s doing okay.” Rooster says with a smile, feeling well rested and more optimistic. The news made everyone start chattering excitedly despite Maverick, Rooster, and Bob’s attempts to keep them quiet.

“Guys, come on she’s still asleep.” Bob pleads, feeling bad that the entire group has burst in and started making a racket.

“I was asleep until Fanboy started talking. His inside voice is any normal person’s outside voice.” Your tired voice has every head snapping to look at you as you peel your eyes open and smile.

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Maverick asks, approaching your bedside and brushing a loose piece of hair away from your face.

“Feeling good, Mav.” You say, grinning up at your godfather as he smiles back, pressing a kiss to your forehead before moving away to allow the others to say hi.

“You’re one tough kid aren’t you, Bradshaw?” Hangman teases, ruffling your hair as you laugh, swatting at his hand.

“Sorry, Jake. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” You fire back as he shakes his head, chuckling before the others push him aside to talk to you. You spent time talking to all the members of Dagger Squad as Maverick and Rooster watched on with a fond smile as you asked the team to sign either the cast on your arm or leg. Both Rooster and Maverick were overjoyed that you were doing better, and they could hope that you’d be able to come home soon and that you’d be back to doing the things you love.

Bradley Bradshaw had already lost so much in his life so the time you were unconscious in the hospital bed were the most painful hours of his life. Wondering if he was about to add his little sister to the list of people he’s lost in his lifetime. He’d never been so relieved to see you awake in his life when you finally did. He vowed from that moment on that he was never going to take any moments with any of his loved ones for granted. He wanted to appreciate every moment he had with those he cared for in case something like this happened again. But for now, instead of dwelling on what could have been, he found himself smiling at the fact you’d be around to be his pain in the ass baby sister a bit longer.

#justabigassnerd #justabigassnerd writes #top gun #top gun maverick #rooster top gun #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #rooster x y/n #bradley bradshaw x sister!reader #x sister!reader #rooster x reader #rooster x sister!reader

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headkiss · 2 years

Text

smoke slow

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: inspired by the song by joshua bassett. eddie gives you a cigarette and maybe some hope, too.

word count: 3.4k

warnings: smoking, other than that it’s all fluff!

a/n: my first eddie fic!!!! i hope u guys like it and as always please let me know what you think! also switched up my headers :P

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Hawkins, Indiana. A town booming with rumours and sticky summers. For so long, you were one of the people watching news and shows about the place. Now, you were in it.

Moving was something you were used to, your parent’s work relocating your family often. You didn’t mind it so much, it was what you were used to.

This time, they told you it was for good, that this was the last move. All things they’ve said before, but it felt real for once, it felt like they meant it.

You thought maybe it could become home.

Which is why you found yourself here, at the town’s trailer park for some party that was on a flyer handed to you on the sidewalk. Usually, you would roll your eyes and throw the piece of paper away, but you didn’t know anyone yet and this was an opportunity.

You could find friends, people to talk to. It was worth a try.

You stood in the damp grass of the trailer park, a cup of whatever was being served in hand. It was nice to meet people, nice to get an idea of what your life in Hawkins could be like. It was overwhelming, though.

It was full of ‘who are you’s and ‘why haven’t I seen you before’s. A repetitive explanation of your move.

It got to the point where you needed a break from it all. As much as you enjoyed the promise of future friends and people to meet, you couldn’t take it all at once.

You pulled yourself away from the forming crowd, wandering the open space between trailers, noting the picnic tables spread out and pausing to pet someone’s cute dog.

Your head turned at the sound of a guitar, soft strums bleeding into the night air and you wanted to follow it. You stood up—not before giving the dog one last pat on the head—and went off to find where the music was coming from.

It would pause and resume every so often, like the person playing was forced to pull away before getting back to plucking at the guitar strings. You wandered around, the guitar getting louder as you went.

You eventually found the source of it, a boy sat on the front steps of a trailer. Long hair, ripped jeans, a denim vest covered in pins on top of a leather jacket. A cigarette hanging from his mouth and heavy rings on musical fingers. He was really pretty.

You were close to him now, but his head was bent, not noticing you approach. When he pulled away from his guitar to take the cigarette out of his mouth and breathe out, smoke billowing out of his lips, you took the chance to speak up.

“‘This machine slays dragons?’” You tilted your head to read the messily painted letters on the instrument, grabbing the attention of the boy holding it.

Eddie peeked over at you when he heard your voice, one he didn’t recognize. You were standing with a teasing smile on your face, a cardigan wrapped around you to fight off the evening chill. He thought you might’ve been the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen.

“Sure does.”

His voice was smooth, the type of gravelly that had you walking closer, close enough that he was forced to tilt his head up at you. His eyes shining and soft as they met yours.

“What’s your name?”

“Eddie, you?” You told him, and he repeated it, enjoying the way it tasted on his lips, the way it felt natural to say. “That’s a pretty name. You’re new here?”

You thought you were tired of the question, of the curiosity that came along with being the town’s new girl, but when Eddie said it, you couldn’t find any annoyance in your body at all.

“Yeah, just moved. You have any more of those?”

Your hand motioned to the cigarette that sat loosely in his grip now, his playing paused in order to talk to you. You knew smoking was a bad habit, but it wasn’t something you could bring yourself to care about at the moment. Besides, it gave you something to say to Eddie, to keep whatever this moment was going.

“Yeah. You’re a smoker?”

“On occasion, I guess.”

“It’s unhealthy, you know?”

“Says the boy who’s currently smoking. C’mon, share?”

“Will you say please?”

“Now now, we only just met, Eddie. Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

He shook his head, setting his guitar aside to reach into his pocket for his pack of cigarettes and his lighter, jerking his head towards the stairs next to him, inviting you to sit.

You took the invite, walking over and setting yourself next to him, close enough that your arms would brush if they moved the right way. It was odd, to feel like this stranger was someone who would become integral to your life despite only just meeting him. Like you were meant to find him here.

Eddie passed you a cigarette, and flicked his lighter to life to let you lean close and burn the tip of your smoke to life. You looked at him as you inhaled, his attention on your mouth and how it pouted ever so slightly around your cig, the way the plume escaped your lips.

“What were you playing before? On your dragon slaying guitar.”

“Dunno, really. Whatever came to mind, I guess.”

“It was pretty.”

“You think so?”

Eddie hadn’t had someone describe his music as pretty. He’s been complimented, sure, but none of it seemed to mean as much as the one that came from you. The fact that you didn’t even know him and yet you seemed to care about his art really stuck out to him. It was sweet, and it was genuine.

He wished he could stay in this moment, slow it down so it could last a little longer. The world melted away and it was just him and you. Two strangers who would probably become so much more than that.

“Yeah. Will you play it again?”

He stubbed his cigarette out on his steps, deciding that he’d just share with you instead of having to pause from his playing. He figured you’d let him, since it was him who gave it to you. Eddie was intrigued by you the moment saw you, a magnetic pull holding his attention and refusing to let go. It was confusing to meet someone and immediately feel an effect from it, from them.

“Sure, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart. The nickname mixed with his voice had butterflies swarming in your stomach. You tried to shrug it off, to pretend like it was nerves instead of being flustered. You thought maybe you could make him your friend, a good one. That maybe he felt the same, like he’d known you for much longer than a total of five minutes.

You thought Hawkins really would become home after all.

He plucked out a melody, humming along softly despite it not having any lyrics. While he wanted to impress you, to leave an impact big enough to get you to want to see him again, he wasn’t really worried about what he was playing.

You watched his hands move with nimble fingers and expertise. You watched his face with focus as well as ease painted across it, like it was effortless for him to simply pick up his guitar and play. He was really pretty. Someone who might look intimidating at first glance, but was kind and welcoming.

“You’re really good, Eddie. How’d you learn?”

“My uncle, mostly. He’s taught me a lot.”

“Will you teach me something on it?”

“Sure thing, Sweetheart. Here ya go.” He handed you his guitar, letting you set it in your lap the way he had it just moments before and grabbing your cigarette to stub it out. Eddie didn’t know why he decided to move so he sat behind you, his thighs on either side of yours, his chest against your back. He didn’t know why he felt so inclined to do so, but he was.

When you felt Eddie behind you, your senses went wild. The heat of his body against your back, the smell of his shampoo and his cologne in your nose, strands of his hair tickling your neck when he leaned closer.

It was intimate, especially considering this was your first meeting with him. But you had no complaints at all.

His hands trailed down your arms to grab yours, the cool metal of his rings sliding down until they were pressed against your fingers. He moved your hands to place one on the neck of the guitar, the other sitting flat against the strings. You were pliant for him, letting him guide you.

“‘Kay, so you’re just gonna put your fingers here, here, and.. here.” He moved them as he spoke, placing them on the right string and fret to create a chord. A sense of pride swelling when you strummed and it sounded right the first time.

Eddie wasn’t used to having a connection to people so quickly. No, he was used to judgemental looks and constant avoidance because he was a ‘freak,’ someone to stay away from.

You, however, had no knowledge of his reputation, you only knew the sweet boy sitting on his porch playing guitar. You only knew his soft touch and comforting smell.

“That’s really cool. That music just works like that.”

“Where the hell have you been all this time, sweetheart. Are you even real?”

He held one of your hands in his, squeezing it like he was making sure you were solid, a real person. He felt like he might’ve made you up, the previous drinks and smoke clouding his brain because there was absolutely no way you were there, being nice to him, and smiling brightly because of him and his guitar.

When you looked down, focusing on his hand holding yours and feeling flustered, then feeling it even more because you didn’t know him, not really, and it felt like you did and he had an effect on you that you’d never felt before. Ever.

You didn’t have time to reply to his sweet, wonder-filled words because you caught a glimpse of the numbers on his watch and gasped.

“Is that really the time?”

“Shit, yeah.”

“I'm so sorry, I have to leave.”

He hated the disappointment he felt, the longing for you to stay. He hated it because it was new, it was scary, and it was more amplified than anything he’s ever experienced before.

He didn’t say any of that, though, he only let your hand go and stood, helping you up along with him. He didn’t hug you close like he wanted, he didn’t kiss you like he had the urge to do. He only smiled at you and spoke quietly.

“It was really nice meeting you. I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah. Bye, Eddie.”

You were quickly walking off before he could ask you for your number, for anything. Gone as if it really had been a dream.

Eddie couldn’t stop thinking about you.

Ever since that night that seemed to get further and further away as the days passed, his mind has been stuck in a loop of you and your pull and your mystery. He wanted to know more about you, he wanted to know everything, really. The only problem was, he couldn’t seem to find you.

He’d go walking on main street, go to the grocery store even if his uncle had gone the day before, go to random parties he heard about in hopes to find you there. Eddie found himself in public much more than he used to, and he found that distracting himself with trying to find you often blocked out the looks he’d get or the whispers he’d notice.

Lately, all he cared about was talking to you again.

He wasn’t discreet about it, either. He asked Nancy and Robin if they met you, even asked Steve if he knew of anyone with your name. They teased him, of course, but they did try to help. It wasn’t often Eddie was this encompassed with someone.

He found himself hanging out at Family Video with Robin and Steve as they worked, hoping that maybe today would be the day you decided to rent a movie.

“This is getting sad, Munson. Why don’t you just go door to door? That might be more productive.”

Steve and Eddie gave each other shit all the time, but that was simply their friendship. They bonded over time, getting over their Dustin jealousy and finding common ground there instead. They complained about the younger boy’s attitude, they loved him like a brother.

“Shut it, Steve. I’m gonna see her, I swear.”

“Aw, come on, it’s sweet. But, are you sure she lives here? Maybe she was just visiting.”

Robin was trying to help, as always, she just said what she thought was best. She hoped that you were real, because she could use another female friend in her life and by the way Eddie spoke about you, she could tell you’d be a great one.

“No, no. She said she just moved here! You guys believe me, don’t you? I didn’t even smoke pot that night!”

“Calm down there, we believe you. It’s just.. it’s been like a week and Hawkins really isn’t that big.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know, Robin. But maybe it’s just like the wrong places at the wrong time. Right?”

She simply shrugged, not really knowing what to say because she wanted to keep his hopes up, she wanted him to be happy and excited about you like he has been since he saw you.

“Maybe you should’ve stayed in the same place every time like Dustin said. Higher percentage of meeting her or whatever the little shit said. It was too much math for me.”

“Thank you so much, Steve. I really appreciate it.” His voice monotone and void of actual gratitude, a deadpan.

The bell above the door rang, signaling the entrance of a customer, and Eddie’s heart pounded with the possibility of it being you. His mind conjuring up everything he’d say to you, the unrealistic expectations that you’ve been looking for him, too.

But, you knew where to find him. Wasn’t it obvious the trailer was his?

When he turned to look at who walked in, he sighed. Disappointed because it definitely wasn’t you and kicking himself for getting so worked up over a fucking bell ringing.

He left the store after that, going back home and picking up his acoustic guitar once more to play the tune he remembered from that night. He couldn’t get it out of his head.

You couldn’t stop thinking about Eddie.

Something about the way his hair fell and the dreamiest eyes. The way his rings felt against your skin and his chest felt against your back. The way he spoke and the way he made you feel.

You were close to losing it.

Of course, you thought about going to his trailer to see him, but always backed out because you felt like it would be weird. He would totally be creeped out if you just showed up to his house unannounced after meeting once.

Instead of sitting around daydreaming about a certain boy, you decided to use your free time to apply for a job. It would be something to do, and you did need the money. You figured as you made your way around the town with applications in hand, you just might run into Eddie.

So far, nothing has panned out, though it’s only been a couple of days. The last stop on your list was the local record store, full of vinyls both used and new. You stood in front of the old building, gathering the courage to go in and hand in your application.

When you walked through the door, you saw shelves upon shelves of music, bins and crates stood all around filled to the brim with things to listen to. The lighting was warm, inviting, and the song playing softly throughout the store added to the calming atmosphere.

Eddie’s head snapped up from where he was sorting through new arrivals when he heard the front door open and close, his attention drawn to the customer he was meant to look after.

When he caught a glimpse of the person there, he swore he felt his heart stop for a second. Maybe even a minute.

It was you.

You, who he had almost convinced himself he had imagined. Who still looked as pretty as the first time he saw you. You with your same cardigan and bright eyes. He couldn’t believe it.

You walked up to the counter, shaking out your nerves one last time before taking a couple steps and looking up. The last person you expected to see was Eddie, but you definitely weren’t upset about it.

You’d been waiting ever since you left that night to see him again, and here he was.

“Eddie?”

He ditched his vest and jacket, now left in his ‘Hellfire Club’ shirt which you’d ask him about later. For now, you were just ecstatic to see him. His hair was still long, still sat in its charming waves. His eyes still shining, like that was their natural state.

“Oh my gosh! Sweetheart, hi!”

His smile was beaming, so bright that you couldn’t help but smile, too.

“So, I’m actually here for a job,” you set your application on the counter in front of him. “But this is a lot more fun. Hi.”

“Shit, really? I can get you in, easy. The boss likes me, can you believe it!?”

He was so upbeat, so animated, and it felt like it was because of you. Whether that was true or not, you still felt special. He was able to do that without even trying.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to. We’re gonna have so much fun as coworkers, trust me. The best time.”

“Well, okay. If you want to, then that would be great. Thank you, Eddie.”

He thinks hearing his name in your voice would never get old.

“No problem at all, sweetheart.”

“Do you like working here?”

“I like music, and it’s easy enough. I think you joining the team would make it a lot better, though.”

“Stop it.”

You could feel your face heating, your hands coming up to cover your flustered expression. Somehow, Eddie managed to say certain things in a certain way to make you feel warm. His gaze strong and his effect even stronger.

“It’s true! Come on, stop hiding.”

He gently reached out to grab your wrists, urging you to drop your hands from your face, and when you did, he didn’t let go.

“It’s really good you’re here, sweetheart. I’ve wanted to find you ever since you left that stupid party.”

“Me too. Must be fate.”

Though your tone was slightly teasing, you really did think this was fate. The universe bringing two people together and all of that.

“Must be. So, I have a question for you.”

“Okay, I’m listening.”

His hands squeezed your wrists in his grip, cool rings against heated skin. It was like he was both reassuring you and gearing himself up to say what he wanted to.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since we met, and I think that’s rare. I, um.. I wanted to know if you’d wanna go out with me sometime? Soon, maybe?”

“Like on a date?”

“Yeah. I mean, if that’s what you want. Doesn’t have to be.”

What Eddie wants to say is that he thinks he’d take you into his life in any way he could, that he’d be okay with being nothing more than your future coworker if it meant you’d be around. He doesn’t, because he thinks that’s a lot for someone he’s spoken to twice.

“I’d really like that, Eddie. I’ve thought about you ever since, too.”

He only drops his hold on you to grab a pen and spare piece of paper, sliding it towards you.

“Leave me your number this time, yeah? So I don’t have to search the town again.”

“You looked for me?”

You started writing your number down for him, signing with your name and a heart and handing him the paper. He took it and tucked it into his pocket right away, not wanting to ever lose it.

“‘Course. Told you I was thinking about you.”

“Well, now you can call me.”

“Oh, I will. You’ll get sick of me.”

To be honest, you don’t think you could get tired of him if you even tried.

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