Tumgik
#a sea of broken glass
kiriijoo · 2 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The calm on the chaos,
Tumblr media Tumblr media
and the chaos in the calm.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
11 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
Vincent Price
Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea; Deadly Dolls (1968)
30 notes · View notes
fruityfinch · 7 months
Text
There was a wee storm last night and I predicted that that might mean today would be a good day for beach-combing,
and I was right 😎
Lotta quite big pieces of sea glass, an array of ceramic sherds with some colour or pattern still on them (unusual!), and some HEFTY chunks of ceramic tile that were most pleasing to lever out of the sand
21 notes · View notes
if toji suddenly reincarnated back into ssg, how would each character react? like obvi gojo would try to hollow purple him on sight but he manages to hold himself back to get some answers from toji instead. do the others know that it was bc of toji that megumi is stuck in the situation he’s in rn? would megumi even want to talk to his dad?
and how would toji take finding out how the zenin treated his son? he thought that he’d be safe and happy there and then he finds out what they did to megumi and that it was gojo and co who stopped it.
Everyone knows that Toji sold megumi to the zenin.
I think it actually really bothers Megumi how it’s common knowledge. He doesn’t know anything about his own father other than he sold him, and that’s not even private to him. He’s just some unwanted kid who his dad only had to sell like prized cattle.
It was never a secret that Toji sold him to the Zenin. Maki knew, and she already told the others when giving them the rundown on what happened. They’d all know that toji’s the reason megumi’s stuck in this situation.
The second years:
It depends on when he arrived. If it’s when Yuuta still hasn’t gotten the RCT backlash under control, then he may have to worry a bit about the power of love and also this sword.
He’d survive. Not unscathed. But he’d survive.
If it’s after Yuuta’s gotten control, Yuuta still would hate him, but he wouldn’t be as proactive about it. Mostly because Megumi would feel weird about him making a fuss. He’d intervene every time Toji tried to talk to Megumi if Megumi established he didn’t want to talk to him. He’d try to quietly get him the fuck out of there. He'd radiate an aura of murder whenever Toji came close.
Maki would ice Toji out on principle. Like, she’d hate that she had to. Toji’s supposed to be the only one who understands her. They’re both Zenin clan rejects. They both were hurt in such similar ways.
But only one of them sold their fucking kid back into that hellhole, and that ended with Megumi in a hospital bed. She’d be bitter, internally, that she couldn’t try for something like a relationship with Toji. She’d wonder if she betrayed Mai the same way he betrayed Megumi. She wouldn’t outwardly react to him. She’d ice him out.
Inumaki and Panda would embark on a quest to ruin his fucking life. They’d short sheet his bed. They’d put itching powder in his pants. They’d put bleach in his shampoo. All would fail, but this would not discourage them.
The adults:
Gojo would bend over backwards to keep Toji away from Megumi.
Gojo's playing the game of "only let Megumi get information he can physically handle" right now. that's why he's refusing to let Maki tell him the truth about the Ten Shadows. He knows his kid. He knows Megumi's impossibly fucked up and is not going to tell them how badly or ask for help for what happened. He knows Megumi's going to break if anything else happens, and he knows that Toji showing up out of nowhere and dropping six bombshells on him is not something Megumi could handle. He'd squeeze Toji for insider information on the Zenin and threaten to punt Toji to the moon if he didn't stay the fuck away.
Toji would not be impressed by the threats.
Nanami and Shoko would refuse to have anything to do with him. Shoko wouldn’t speak to him. Nanami would, but only to inform him that his sole priorities are the wellbeing of his family, and that Megumi has a right to speak with Toji if he so wishes, but if he doesn't, toji needs to steer far clear of him. He's done enough. toji may have been his father biologically, but Nanami was the one who carried him home--twice--after the family Toji sold him to broke him to the point he was close to death. Nanami has been there for the parent teacher conferences and the nightmares and all the shit Toji never even tried to be there for even when he had a chance. Toji surrendered his place in Megumi's life, and it's been filled. And Toji should not dare to try and hurt nanami's family again. He's already done enough.
Megumi:
Megumi hates him. And he wouldn’t want to talk to him.
Megumi never talks about his dad. If someone asked, he’d say he doesn’t care about him, didn’t expect better from him, and doesn’t care that toji sold him. It’s hard to be hurt by someone you never expected to love you. He’s not surprised; he’s not disappointed; this is just his dad being on brand. He was a piece of shit before and a piece of shit now.
He’d be lying.
His dad selling him to the Zenin cut megumi deeper than anything else in his life. The zenin were always his abusers. But Toji was supposed to be his dad. He was supposed to take care of him.
He was supposed to love him. And a part of megumi has never been able to understand why he didn’t.
In megumi’s mind, he had to have known what pieces of shit the Zenin were, and he sent him there anyway. And Megumi hates him for it, he really does.
I guess it really depends on when in the sgg timeline it is. Like, are we dropping him right in the middle of the currently chapter?
Megumi would assume he’s a hallucination. He’d think his brain would be just fucking with him and making it all hurt more. It would make him violently upset, and Toji would have to be removed from the room, and Gojo would probably have to knock Megumi out to get him to calm down again.
If he’s gotten better, then Toji would still make him violently upset. But he’d be aware enough to hide how much.
He’d refuse to see him. He’d refuse to talk to him. He wouldn’t want to be in the same room as him. His dad couldn’t be fucked to ever be there for him, so Megumi doesn’t see why he should drop everything to see him now.
Megumi's not in a mindset where he could ever healthily see Toji, coming right off SGGs. like, he's traumatized out of his fucking mind. He's absolutely unable to handle the added stress of his deadbeat dad coming back to life and wanting to chat.
Toji:
Toji would kill all of them.
The thing is, I don't think Toji actually thought Megumi would be safe and happy with the Zenin. I think that's the lie he told himself to justify selling his son to his abusers. Like, he knows his family's cruelty better than anyone. He knows that even if you have cursed energy, they're not exactly tender parents.
I think he was just in a spiral, struggling with a gambling addiction, and was trying to take an easy way out and lying to himself about what exactly he was doing to his son.
He'd feel like shit over it, the confirmation that he son could be literally the most important person for hundreds of years to the zenin and they'd still hurt him. He'd kill them for putting Megumi in the hospital bed, for hurting him all those years ago. He wouldn't know how to begin fixing things with his son, so he'd do what he knows how to do, which is just fucking kill the people who hurt him to begin with.
12 notes · View notes
outlying-hyppocrate · 4 months
Text
i look in the mirror. hello pretty boy. would you like to get stabbed
#random thoughts#he looks eager though he's clearly been sick.#enter enter enter enter the person who poet poetry people never-ending defending paradigms made to be broken#glass ceilings much too high make your knees buckle when you stare at the reflection so reflective of something that just makes sense#this plays a familiar song in my mind i used to pick garlic flowers let me do it with you by the seaside#pick the poet technical and other issues ensue#and i am doubled over screaming everything i feel for you#never hatred only love though i could hate so many people#people-pleaser undefeated and they said “take me to your leader”#as if i remember where that comes from but i am god now#i am everything and anything and nothing all at once#and i make people sick#most especially myself#sometimes it makes you wonder if i do it on purpose#i'd like to be an alcoholic like my father rather like he was#because he's doing well and i think he tries but i say this just because#i'm just a kid and i know nothing about the world of boys and girls#i am a mechanical emotional vampire who will crack your head open#upon the rocks of a beautiful tuscan beach and the lord of the flies at sea#he called to me and called me simon but i think we're out of reach#petticoats are for children and i used to be just 39#that is not my age it is a number and a color#i associate it yellow because it used to be my favorite and i'm playing in the sand#i was 39 for a while but i care not to share the rest and everything is just a mess because i lie awake at night#wanting my hair back and a lover that will hold me#though the people need to be held so i will hold them by myself it's never me#but it always is i'm selfish even my mother says so#that's enough i'm overloaded sensorily overdosing#as we release ourselves we find it harder asking for help#no you don't need it all you need is to shut up and count to 12
8 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 18 days
Text
...
3 notes · View notes
lilyharvord · 11 months
Text
I missed mermay cause of school, but listen, consider this, a headcanon because I’m bad at writing gore (the song Mermaids by Florence and the Machine is the only inspiration behind this): 
- Mare is a mermaid who every year to help her and her other mermaid friends stay immortal steals the heart of a human prince (whether that be stealing metaphorically or literally 😈). If she does it metaphorically it obviously only helps her, if she steals the actual beating fucking heart and they all share it then, well it helps all of them. 
- Her target this year actually straight up falls in her lap after she rescues him from drowning and deposits him on the shore. She keeps an eye on him for a few days, and realizes that he sort of remembers her as this mysterious woman. He’s perfect, there’s enough kindness, morality and all around honor (she almost vomits when she learns about it) in that heart of his that she may not have to go hunting for years. His heart could sustain her and the others for years. So she makes a plan with a few of them. They’ll attend the ball that’s being thrown, and while her group distracts everyone, she will steal the prince away from everyone and take his heart. 
- leaving the water like they are only able to do once a year, shedding their scales and losing their gills and fins until midnight, they take what they need from passerby's and enter the ball as a mysterious group of ethereal women and men. Let’s be real, they should stick out like a sore thumb because they are just that freaking ethereal. One woman whispers: “fae” as they pass, but they are most certainly not that, and everyone knows fae and mythical creatures are just stories. 
- The whole thing is so easy that for a moment, she thinks this prince actually knows what she is, that he has some strange sense that lets him see passed the glamor and the magic to what she truly is. 
- it takes so little effort to get him away from the party and out on a balcony. She doesn’t even have to sing to get him to come, he just puts his warm hand in hers and lets her guide him away. For a moment, she wonders if she bewitched him by accident on the shore, but she would have known if she sang to him. He trusts her without even knowing her, putting his full faith in her as she leads him further and further into the shadowy alcoves until she finds the perfect place. 
- Even before she goes about putting him in a position where she can rip his heart out of his chest, she can feel the magic working because he’s already given her a little bit of his heart metaphorically which she wants to roll her eyes at because “humans, so gullible” kind of thing. 
- As he’s telling her that he knows its her, that he’s been looking for her trying to find her to thank her and whatnot, she smiles up at him and in the moonlight, he misses the flash of her fangs before she takes the hand she was resting against his wonderful beating heart and punches it through his rib cage. 
- It takes two seconds for him to gasp and start losing his footing, in which she lets him slowly sit on a bench as she whispers softly to him and rips his heart clean out of his chest. His eyes are wide in shock but he doesn’t even have a chance to say anything as she presses a kiss between his brows and thanks him. She never does that, but this time it feels right. When she pulls away those lovely amber eyes start to darken as she rips the skirt of her dress to shreds and wraps the now still heart in the scraps before turning and leaving his body to be found. 
13 notes · View notes
souvenirmp3 · 1 year
Text
since it's pretty odds 15th birthday tell me what's your favourite lyric from northern downpour
10 notes · View notes
sollilua · 1 year
Text
dani lore: i know how to use spears/polespears and throw knives
2 notes · View notes
scorndotexe · 2 years
Text
shout out to me for finally adjusting the text size in sunless sea after straining for four hours
4 notes · View notes
lrant · 5 months
Text
Peace: How I Know These Two Places Both Offer Peace
Places That Offer Peace: Peace of mind can certainly be felt when walking along a mostly secluded beach, looking at the expanse of the ocean. I also find a sense of tranquility when in a place surrounded by mountains. I write this regarding the daily prompt: Beach or mountains? Which do you prefer? Why? A Walk Along The Beach: Walking along the beach and just listening to the waves as they…
Tumblr media
View On WordPress
0 notes
illusioninfnty · 7 months
Text
day 4 ; cockwarming
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
↠ "red haired" shanks x reader
fandom: one piece word count: 1k warnings: nsfw 18+, public sex, unprotected sex, dirty talk, creampie
kinktober m.list || read on ao3
Tumblr media
“Another round on me, little lady!”
Pirates swarm Partys Bar as you scramble to serve everyone at once. Makino occasionally requested your help whenever she knew it would get busy, and each time you happily obliged. However, the pirate crew was rowdier than usual today, and it seemed as though you couldn’t catch a break.
“I’ll be right with you!” You call out to the pirate as you rush to sweep up some broken glass that was dropped by one of the piss-ass drunk crew members. 
As you pass by, you feel a calloused hand skim the back of your ass. You don’t even have to look behind you to know exactly who it belongs to—Shanks.
You and Shanks have done some things in the past, mostly involving him dragging you away to fuck you when he was pumped up on adrenaline from his time at sea.
You ignore his advances this time, too focused on trying to cater to all of his crew. But the second time you’re forced to pass him, serving more rounds of whiskey to his men, he wraps an arm around the back of your thighs and pulls you towards him.
“Shanks!” You gasp. He paws at your ass from his seat on the stool, kneading the soft flesh as laughs at your surprised expression. “I’m supposed to be working!”
He rolls his eyes. “Makino doesn’t even pay you. Take a break with me.”
You finally comply, silently agreeing that you were working way harder than you wanted to be. Makino was busy with patrons at the other side of the bar, and most of the pirates that you were catering to were either passed out or too drunk to comprehend anything.
Shanks settles you into his lap as he brings his lips to yours. He cups your face with hand as you wrap your arms around his neck, leaning into him. His warmth envelopes you as you play with the ends of his hair while he caresses your backside.
“I want to try something,” Shanks mumbles into your neck as you pull away for some air.
You hum, encouraging him to continue.
“Let me put my cock in you.”
You freeze. Out of all the things he could have said, that was the last thing on your mind.
“Shanks, we’re in public! In—in front of your crew!” You whisper through clenched teeth and look around frantically, hoping no one heard him.
He sighs, a crease forming between his brow. “Not like that. I’m not going to fuck you now. Just…let it rest in there.” He starts to trail kisses down your neck. “It’ll feel good for both of us.”
“But what if they see?” you ask shakily, your hands grasping onto his broad shoulders for support.
Shanks grabs your chin and turns your head to face him. “C’mon, babe. Everyone’s already slurring their speech. They won’t be able to remember anything come tomorrow morning. And if they do, then they just know you belong to me.”
You bite your lip, chewing on it as you get lost in thought. His words had a wave of heat surging through your body, but you still had to think rationally about what you were about to do. It was risky, but it may just be worth it.
“Alright,” you confirm. Shanks grins heartily, smile lines becoming prominent around his eyes. You move your body so that it covers his front, and you start to slowly remove his cock from their breaches. Through his pants you can already feel how hard he was, pulsing through the material.
You pull your skirt up slightly and push your underwear to the side. You dip your fingers inside yourself, not surprised to feel that you were already wet. You lower yourself onto Shanks as he hisses, his cock throbbing as you slowly guide him inside of you.
Fully seated on his lap now, you adjust your skirt so that it covers where the two of you remain connected. 
“There we go,” he soothes. “Nice and full, huh?” You whine and give him a curt nod, trying to stop your body from reacting from the amount of pleasure surging through it at that moment. No one seems to notice what the two of you were doing, but it still sends a thrill down your spine.
You continue to kiss him as you clench down onto cock. He groans at the sensation, pleasing you even more. Shanks runs his hand down to your lower stomach, stroking the area.
“You feel me in there?”
His large hand continues to rub circles in the area, pressing down in spots that make you gasp. You can feel him in there—so much more than usual, now that he’s not pumping in and out. It feels more intimate with him like this, and you lean into his chest as your walls continue to tighten.
You begin to shift ever-so-slightly on top of Shanks and arch into him as he groans into your lips and stills your hips with his hand. “You’re killing me, baby.” 
You laugh, and your pussy clenches around him even more. 
“Won’t be able to last any longer,” he pants and burrows his face into your neck.
“Good,” you tease, smirking as you see his eyes heat up. His cock pulsates, and his orgasm is silent, the only indicator being the clench of his jaw and the slight quiver in his brow.
“Hey, I need some help over here!” Makino’s voice rings throughout the bar, and suddenly you’re brought back to reality, remembering just exactly where you were and what kind of situation you were in. You remove yourself from Shanks’ lap, shuddering at the sudden heat from him leaving your body.
“Coming!” You say, slapping Shanks in the leg as he snickers behind you.
You adjust your skirt, ignoring the cum that starts to leak out of you as you scurry to help Makino with the bar patrons. The whole time, you can feel Shanks’ eyes follow you.
Tumblr media
4K notes · View notes
the pain when u do ur absolute best for a traumatised baby and not being enough bc their baby ends up injured on a hospital bed, just for their boy to end up on a hospital bed a few years later but this time hes blind and he died
ur analysis on gojo nanami and shoko is so heartbreaking and beautiful. the desperation to save yuuta bc they dont wanna make the sane mistake again and how u write their guilt and their frustration bc they failed megs again and now hes dying and they cant do anything ugh stop cutting onions
fuck the zenin and fuck the higher ups❗❗
fuck 👏 the 👏 zenin 👏 and 👏 fuck 👏 the 👏 higher 👏 ups
12 notes · View notes
euphemiaamillais · 2 months
Text
money, power, glory - coriolanus snow
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
on the night of your victory party, president snow decides that he wants a little more than a kiss from his victor—after all, don’t you ought to show your president just how patriotic you are?
cw: 18+//dub-con//age gap (reader is 18+)//abuse of power//mentions of exploitation//objectification//blowjobs//piv sex//coercion//loss of virginity//creampie//district 7 victor!reader and president!coryo
Tumblr media
the party is all for you; the gaud and festivity, the fountains of alcohol, the ridiculously clad guests. you won, they tell you—but it’s a reminder of the children you killed as you fought tooth and claw in that arena. it feels wrong, to be put on display like this when twenty-three children lay dead in their districts. the celebration of murder—it’s as if you’re the prize animal at the circus.
you had been primped and preened by your stylist drusilla all afternoon, gritting your teeth as every part of your body was plucked and waxed, as she pulled your hair back into some elaborate hairstyle, the pins now digging into your scalp. that pain—the dull ache of it—ironically served as a reminder of the pain you had to endure in the games. you only survived because you slit the throat of that boy from two, watching the blood trickle out of his neck as you practically limped away.
you’d since been repaired, though many a time you felt that familiar ache in your ankle—the one that had been broken—and supposed it was punishment for the cruelty of your actions. but put twenty-four helpless children in an arena and ask them to fight to the death, and you learn that the ‘inherent goodness’ in human beings is nothing but a thin veil maintained by law and order.
‘enjoying the show?’ you hear the familiar, cut-glass voice of drusilla, who’s currently festooned in a garish purple gown covered in feathers—with a hairpiece to match.
you shrug, taking a sip of the expensive champagne, feeling the bubbles fizz down your throat as you swallow. it’s all so much, the noise, the people—as if you’re being smothered.
‘you’re being awfully quiet,’ she sighs, brushing your shoulder with her perfectly manicured hand. ‘isn’t there anything to tempt you?’
drusilla is more sympathetic than most in the capitol; she’d listened as you’d told her about your family back in seven, the trees that spanned for miles, how you often lay under their green blanket and daydreamed of a world beyond this one. but still, she would never understand what being a victor was like, there were scarce few in panem who did. many turned to morphling or alcohol upon their return home, and you’d heard horror stories whispered about victor’s being sold for certain services.
‘i’m just tired, that’s all,’ you murmur, reaching for another glass of champagne as a waiter walks past.
drusilla cocks a thin brow, a suspicious look glittering in her eyes. the throng of people is dizzying as you down your second champagne, but you feel your nerves ease, and pray that this night will become more bearable.
‘come, they all want to see you—their victor,’ she grins, pearly white teeth glistening under the golden light of the strings of lanterns.
you take her hand, and she pulls you through the crowd. it’s a vertigo-inducing sea of rainbow; hands clasping together in applause, rich cheers from their panted mouths. you feel your own lips twitch into a smile, but your eyes are somewhere else; far away from this. you can smell the soil back home, see the larks that fly through the trees that reach to the heavens. there’s a dreadful pang of homesickness thrumming in your heart.
and yet you cannot return home, not when they’re all watching you, waiting for the pretty victor to make a witty remark, or to make bids on who will get to have her first. you’re acutely aware that your pink dress is practically see-though, it’s gauzy fabric not leaving much to the eye. your feet ache from the heels they’ve put you in, and you know no matter how much they primp and preen at you, you’ll always be district. an outsider among those in wealthy excess.
among the throngs of people, you spot him—president snow. your breath catches between your lips. you’ve seen him before, obviously. his touch has always strayed a little too much when he’s been around you, but of course, you’d never say anything. you wonder how such a young man—he’s only 24 after all—rose to such power. nobody can deny how attractive he is, piercing blue eyes and platinum blonde curls. if he hadn’t put you in these games, maybe you’d even be persuaded to like him.
drusilla pushes you to him, and you stumble a little, the champagne causing a heady, floaty feeling in your body as you make an attempt to make yourself presentable. you hadn’t expect to be thrust towards him so soon, but the way he’s staring at you is as if he’s been expecting this.
‘don’t be so nervous, you look gorgeous,’ drusilla reminds you as you come to a halt before president snow.
he’s wearing one of his finely tailored suits; this one the crimson shade of red you’ve so often seen him wearing. you feel your cheeks burn with embarrassment, and feel the absence of drusilla’s hand from your back. when you crane your neck—only slightly, so as not to seem rude—she’s disappeared into the throng of brightly clad partygoers.
‘my favourite victor,’ president snow reaches for your hand and presses a kiss to it. his lips are strangely cold. not that you knew what to expect, but somehow it makes sense. his demeanour is like ice.
‘president snow,’ you lean back into curtsy, your bad ankle aching as you do so.
he smiles, icy eyes flickering over your form. he can practically make out your undergarments in that dress; they’re a shade of peach and of such a sheer satin that you can nearly see right through, but it leaves enough for the onlooker to be left wondering what lies underneath. your eyes follow him, and you clutch at your arms shyly, as if half of the capitol hasn’t seen you dressed so scantly.
‘shy tonight, are we?’ he inquires, edging close enough to you that you can make out the slight five o’clock shadow on his jaw.
‘i’m tired, that’s all,’ you mutter, flinching as one of his hands grips at your waist.
‘i would’ve thought you’d enjoy this spectacle, seeing as you made quite the circus out of the arena,’ he leaned in close to your ear, in what you assumed was an intimidation tactic. in spite of being hardened by the arena, deep down, president snow terrified you. ‘the way you killed that boy from two—brutal. but you made yourself the star of the capitol…’
his touch strays further, grasping at the thin fabric that surrounds your ass. one blonde brow arches in surprise, and his lips flicker into what you assume to be a smirk. if he was anyone else, you would’ve pushed him away, but he’s your president. one word and you’d be good as dead; and after enduring the games, you’d rather not come face-to-face with that sort of confrontation again.
‘how pretty,’ he muses, fingers tracing lightly against your form. ‘did you wear this just for me?’
your lips purse, but your body propels you to give a swift nod of your head. ‘do you like it?’
president snow smiles, eyes dancing at your quick wittedness. the girls he has are usually stupid whores who he pays to suck his cock—you, on the other hand, are a precious prize. intelligent, obviously, and startlingly beautiful. and you’re the first female victor since mags flannagan, not that he has any say over her because he was still crawling his way up under dr. gaul then.
‘oh yes, i think you know why,’ he drops the fabric, and takes a few steps away, a blasé look crossing his features.
he watches as your cheeks turn a pretty pink, and you cast your gaze to the ground. how charming; you feigning bashfulness. he’d seen you at your most primal, knife dragging along the jugular of that boy. you couldn’t charm your way out of this one.
the silence pierces the air, and you are prompted to speak—anything to change the topic. the stagnancy between you two has wrapped it’s suffocating arms around you—and you don’t want to choke.
‘i must thank you, president snow, for the festivities,’ you gesture to the ridiculous amount of decorations; the blaring music and the light show.
‘i’m glad you like it,’ he remarks, but his eyes are still trained on you. he wants something from you, and you’re not sure what. ‘i had to celebrate my favourite victor, after all.’
you stifle a scoff; his flattery is sickening. he’s never this charming among company. he’s cold, calculating—you can see it in his eyes, still, but he so obviously needs you wrapped around his little finger. and of course, you can’t resist. who would disobey their president, after all?
‘you flatter me, sir,’ he swallows thickly at the appellation. god, he’d love to hear you call him that as he bends you over one of his expensive armchairs. he wonders if you’d beg him to stop, or if you’d take it. he can’t figure out which type you are, just yet.
‘there’s nothing wrong with flattery, don’t you think?’ he is close to you again, breath fanning your cheek. ‘especially when it comes from your president.’
you feel your body freeze up. there’s something so intimidating about him, and although you want to outsmart him, the way he makes your knees buckle turns you into another one of those bumbling capitol fools.
‘now, if you’ll excuse me, sweetheart. i’ve got a few matters to attend to,’ he backs away, leaving in a flourish of red.
you have to blink a few times to register his absence, and reach for another glass of champagne as a waiter holds out a decadent tray to you. why not? you think, taking time to sip elegantly at this one. there’s no harm in imbibing if you have to make it through this hellish night.
drusilla taps you on the back as you’re shoving an expensive vol-au-vent past your painted lips. when you turn around, she’s shocked to see your mouth full of the pastry, cheeks rounded out as you attempt to swallow it. the hunger pangs had grown considerably, and when you finally gulped it down, the effects of the champagne made you giggle.
‘oh honey,’ she shakes her head, reaching for a pristine napkin to wipe at the flakes of pastry by your lips.
the night had drawn on, and you’d been left with an anxious feeling after your encounter with president snow. everytime somebody so much as brushes against you, your head had whipped around as you searched for a head of perfectly-set blonde curls and a crimson coat. to your luck, it had only ever been waiters, carting more champagne. you reckoned you were drunk enough now that you didn’t care how you acted.
let them think you were a fool, you’d be heading home tomorrow anyways.
‘how much have you had to drink?’ she inquires, and watches as you furrow your brows in thought.
‘six, no—seven glasses,’ you admit, and drusilla scolds you with a clucking tongue, her pink curls bobbing as she shakes her head.
‘president snow won’t be very happy with that,’ she remarks.
your mouth turns into a curious pout, watching as her face falters into some sort of cryptic, far-away look. you run the soft fabric of your dress through your fingers as you let the words settle. no, it doesn’t make sense.
‘why would he care?’ you asked, a little piqued by the thought that he’d even be remotely interested in whether you were sober or not.
drusilla’s purple lips are drawn into a thin line, and she bends in close as if she’s ready to tell you a secret. your throat’s gone dry, the anxiety prying at you with it’s cold hands.
‘look, sweetie,’ her golden tone is laced with a little condescension. ‘president snow won’t like that you’re drunk. it won’t make the situation ideal for him.’
your brows quirk into a look of confusion. situation? drusilla sees your loss of words and takes it upon herself to inform you of the events. how naive you are, that you’ve got no idea just what he wants with you.
‘you’ve been asked to stay the night at the mansion,’ her eyes flicker to search for any eavesdroppers, and then she continues. ‘look, i’m sorry if i didn’t tell you earlier, but he’s asked to keep quiet about it. what with the others being jealous—’
‘others?’ your voice falters.
‘well, sweetie, you know how desirable victors are. president snow just wants to make sure nobody else gets their hands on you. that’s why he’s keeping you here, under close guard.’ drusilla bites her lip, revealing that she’s worried for you. she didn’t have much of a choice in your fate, but if she could forewarn you, she would.
you understood now why he’d been so touchy before—clearly he was jealous that somebody was trying to get their hands on his precious victor.
you lose all your words, mouth opening, nothing spilling out. it feels like it’s been filled up with dirt; you can hardly speak. drusilla goes to strike your arm, but is prevented from doing so as she’s whisked away by some blue-haired man harping on about her latest designs. once again, you feel the pangs of loneliness.
you had to reconcile yourself to the fact that the rest of your life—however long that may be—would be a lonely existence. you’d spent the better part of the month on the train, zigzagging back and forth between the districts, reading off prewritten speeches as you had to face the families of the fallen. all those children—their children—dead.
every night, you’d taken those pills prescribed by the doctors, the ones that stopped you from waking up with your hand around your throat as you screamed. you slept a dreamless sleep, but it became hard to not depend on them. what would you do without them tonight?
the party draws on long into the night, and you grow bored and overwhelmed. as per drusilla’s advice, and also not wanting to wake up with a throbbing headache tomorrow morning, you resorted to drinking the assorted non-alcoholic beverages.
your head is pounding by one am, but the party doesn’t seem to cease by any means. deciding you’ve had enough, and that nobody would really miss you—after all, nobody’s even talked to you for at least two hours—you stumble your way across the marble steps of the mansion. you hazily remember drusilla telling you what door you were meant to enter by, and you find it manned by a singular avox.
without a word, they let you inside, and you trail tipsily after them up a velvet staircase. your ankles roll as you climb the steps, head spinning, but it doesn’t take long to reach your room. your feet are aching, and when the avox leaves you to your own company, you practically tear the shoes off your feet.
you lay back against the white sheets, revelling in the feeling of the thousand-count cotton brushing against your skin. you’d never felt anything like it, and could feel your eyes shutting as you relax into the plush sheets.
you awaken what seems like hours later, but only twenty minutes have passed on the alarm clock by the bed. the sound of footsteps can be heard outside your door, and you’re surprised you can make it out as the party still booms outside the vast windows of the mansion.
you sit up, heart racing, and head throbbing slightly. you’re groggy from the champagne, and the bubbly tipsiness has given way to the absolute misery of sobering up.
the door opens, a small sliver of light giving way to the shadowy figure that progresses into the room. you squint, unable to make out a face, but pray it’s not one of the men you’ve heard were making bids for the victor.
you sigh a breath of relief when you see president snow, not a hair out of place as he stands beside your bed. your dress is up around your thighs, and you can see his blue eyes dancing across your frame.
‘president snow,’ you murmur into the darkness.
you wondered who had turned off the light in the first place—your memory is hazy at best but you don’t remember flicking the switch. an avox must have come past while you were sleeping.
‘i see my favourite victor has taken some respite,’ he muses, one cold hand reaching out to stroke your thigh.
you flinch back reflexively, not used to the icy feeling against your skin. nor are you used to the prying hands of men. the most you’d ever done was kiss a boy, and even then, that was years ago, you weren’t even sure it counted.
‘sorry,’ you spit out, lips trembling with apology. he only laughs, hand still tracing your smooth skin.
‘no need to apologise. i’d rather you doze here than fall asleep on a bench where any of those men could lay a hand on you,’ he makes a sound of disgust, shaking his head at the thought. ‘i couldn’t let them spoil my pretty victor.’
you feel your cheeks warm—did he really think you were pretty? but you remembered who he was; in fact he was the very reason there were even any games at all. he could put a stop to all this if he wanted, and yet he didn’t. you couldn’t let him fool you with his charm.
‘it’s very thoughtful of you, president snow,’ you offer, not wanting to raise suspicion in him.
in the moonlight, you can see a smile flicker across his lips. his hand moved further up to the apex of your thigh, and your breath hitches. what was he doing?
‘do you like that?’ he murmurs, leaning in against your ear, breath hot.
you can’t think of what to say. your thighs tingle a little with the touch, but you don’t want him there. it’s wrong. he’s the president though, and how can you tell him no when he could have you killed?
‘you’re a quiet one, aren’t you?’ he mutters, but wanting to rouse a sound out of you, he moves his hand to press flush against your panties, thumb stroking the area where your clit is.
you let out a breathy gasp; the pleasant warmth flooding your belly. his brows quirk up at your quick response—you’re so willing. he wonders how far he can push you; of course he wants to have you no matter what, after all, it’s his right as president—but he wants to know how much of a whore you are under those pretty clothes.
he knew what district girls were like. lucy gray—though that name made him shudder—bent easily under his guidance. he hoped you’d do the same; obey him. he had more power now, six years after his stint as a mentor and then peacekeeper. he kept that to himself; everybody else simply thought he’d been struck down with a bad bout of the flu, when really he’d been uncovering rebel plots by day and by night was burying his cock deep inside of whatever district slut would have him.
‘please, president snow,’ you beg, head spinning as he rubs at your sensitive nub.
‘please what?’ he inquires, an undercurrent of menace in his voice.
‘i mean—are you sure we should be doing this?’ you furrow your brows with anxiety. ‘aren’t there men who want to pay you good money for this?’
you squeeze your legs together in the hopes that he’ll stop, but this only angers him and he uses his muscular hands to pry your thighs apart. you can’t deny him this; he wants it, and he’ll have it.
‘oh, they’re not going to get you. no, you’re far too precious for the likes of them,’ he shook his head in disbelief. ‘when i realised you were going to be sold to some scumbag who’s been divorced three times, well, i couldn’t let that happen.’
your mouth stretches into a perplexed pout, and you let out another soft moan as he rubs diligently at your clit. his other fingers brush over your red lace panties, and he sucks in a breath as he feels how soaked you are. surely you cannot deny him when you’re practically begging for it?
‘but…’ your lips tremble and you are almost deterred from saying what you want to by the scornful look painted across his noble features.
‘surely you don’t want me,’ you scramble to find an excuse.
‘why wouldn’t i? it’s not like you’re a girl anymore, hm? you’re nineteen, and ever so pretty,’ his other hand thumbs your cheek. you didn’t feel it, but you’d been crying. his thumb presses against a droplet.
‘please,’ you plead. ‘you wouldn’t enjoy it—i’m a virgin.’
he laughs, shaking his head at your stupidity. he hasn’t suspected it, what with the way you were dressed; the gown revealing far too much of your body to him—he could see the top of your nipples sticking out of the neckline.
‘oh no,’ he clucked his tongue. ‘then i simply must have you. how could let you i waste your virginity on any of those men when i could have you?’
you shake your head, body trembling as you feel yourself give way to his fingers, which were slowly bringing you to your pleasure. you clutch at the plush sheets and feel yourself gush, your panties growing even more damp.
he can’t believe it, how quickly you came. he wonders if you’d ever even touched yourself before. sure, you’d killed a boy, but you really knew very little about the world, and even less of men. it enthralled him.
his cock strained in his suit pants, and he let out a low grunt. you responded with a shocked look, but sighed as he stood up, letting go of your thighs. the way he’d touched you—it was scandalous. surely he’d be in a lot of trouble if anyone found out?
but your heart fell when you remembered that he was president. it’s not as if you were anything more than a hired whore who had to do her duty by him.
‘you’re going to be good for me, aren’t you?’ he called out, combing a hand over his perfectly styled hair.
your mouth went dry, but you stood up, wanting to be defiant, clawing for anything to make you seem like you had some sense of autonomy. it was a lost cause, however. you forgot how he towered over you now that your heels were discarded. you couldn’t face up against him.
‘i said, you’re going to be good for me, aren’t you?’ his voice was wrought with ire this time, and you nodded.
‘yes sir,’ you respond with a clear tone. you’re surprised you even managed it.
he reaches out to stroke your face again, sighing as your warm cheeks meet the cold pads of his fingers. you tremble a little, knees buckling in fear. anything could happen.
‘now, are you going to be a good girl and show your president how patriotic you are?’ he asks.
‘yes, mr president,’ you reply blankly. the name sends the blood straight to his cock.
‘then get on your fucking knees,’ he commands.
your head is spinning, but you somehow find your way to the ground, knees aching as you press them into the wooden floorboards. you hear the sound of something unzipping, and when you glance up, you come face to face with his cock.
he’s hard, and huge—not that you’ve ever seen one before—and he lets out a heavy grunt as he sees how pliant you are. he wants nothing more than to fuck that pretty little face of yours and watch how you gag around his length. he hasn’t known he was so big until he’d gotten to district 12 and the stupid district sluts kept choking on his cock. when he’d dressed in academy rouge he’d only ever known his own hand. but now, he knew what power he could exert with all eight inches of himself.
‘good girl,’ he strokes your chin, and when you open your mouth, he slides his thumb over your bottom lip.
your saliva coats his thumb, and you gag a little as he slides it to the back of your mouth. a small grin flickers across his lips; if you’re choking on his thumb, just imagine how bleary-eyed you’ll be as you gag around his cock.
‘god, i don’t want to think about what i would be missing out on if you’d died in that arena,’ he tuts at the thought, and slides his thumb out of your mouth, smearing your own saliva at the corner of your lips.
your lipstick is smudged now, and he’s determined to ruin it even more; perhaps even have your mascara running down your cheeks as you take his cock in your mouth.
‘when i’d heard that the victor was to be the eighteen year old girl from district 7, well, i knew i’d be able to have you. especially once i got a look at you, in your victory dress. did they make it that short on purpose? to make my cock hard?’ he laughs, reminiscing how he’d taken a whore that night that looked just like you, pretending it was you that he was fucking from behind.
you shiver, terrified by him, his words. they’re disgusting. the way he viewed you as something to exploit—and it can’t even be considered taboo because you’re nineteen, after all. if the president wants you, he’ll get you.
‘answer me!’ he scowls, tugging at your intricate hairstyle, which hurts because the pins holding it together were already poking at your scalp.
‘no,’ you murmur, because it’s the truth. you wore what they told you to, you didn’t think it was supposed to be for him.
‘no?’ he laughs, shaking his head in disbelief. ‘well then, tonight at least—they must’ve known i wanted to have you. wasn’t going to let you get away from me this time.’
you swallow thickly, mouth agape in terror, knees trembling against the cool floor. you can feel the bruises forming on them; the dull ache of kneeling is humiliating.
finally, he presses his cock against your open mouth, a little pleased that it was hanging agape in shock, making it easier for him to slide it right in. you freeze, blinking back tears of mortification, but you can't say no, not when he's your president, not when there's that nagging ache in your core that makes you yearn for his fingers back against you.
you open wider, and he slides himself in, cock hitting the back of your throat instantly. you gag, the tears now dribbling foolishly down your cheeks, and president snow just laughs, the sound mottled with undertones of a soft groan. you wrap your lips around him, and move to bob your head up and down, but he grabs your hair and tugs it towards him.
you cry out, scalp stinging and mouth stuffed full to the brim with his cock. his grip tightens as he begins to thrust into your mouth, grunting as feels your saliva coat his length. he can't even fit himself all in, it's pathetic, but he'll help you learn in time how to deepthroat, so he can watch as your mascara runs while you beg him to push himself further down your throat. you'll become his personal fuckdoll.
'teeth,' he winces as he feels your top teeth make contact with the skin of his cock, and embarrassed, you make sure to push your top lip around them.
his lips stretch around a groan, forcing your nose to meet his pubic bone—the sound of your gags are delightful, and when his eyes flutter shut, you know he's enjoying it. he tosses his head back, cock throbbing as he forces it back and forth in your mouth. when his eyes open again, it's to the sight of your mascara running, thick black streaks painting your cheeks as you choke around him.
'so pretty,' he strokes your cheek, smearing the mascara even more. he wonders if you'll still be crying as he stretches you out, filling your cunt with his big cock. probably; he's forgotten how much whining virgins do.
feeling himself close, his thrusts grow more haggard, and you feel his balls slap against your chin as you attempt to breathe—through your nose, of course. his movements are suffocating, you're grasping at his hips, praying for it to be over—and then it is.
hot sticky spurts of cum slide right down your throat as he gives a loud moan, crying your name in praise. part of you—the part you revile—reddens at his praises, you want nothing more than to please your president. the other part of you tries not to gag as the pearly ropes of his cum slither achingly slow down your throat.
'good girl, swallowing it all—you'd do anything for your president, wouldn't you?' he coos, pulling his cock out of your mouth.
your lips ache, and you're sure the back of your throat is blooming purple with a bruise; but you nod, eyes all fucked out because your cunt is dripping wet, all for him.
'well, i really only want one more thing from my victor...' his voice trails off, lips pursing. you can see the desire in his eyes, icy gaze dripping with lecherous intent.
and yet, you cannot deny the fact that he had already made you cum once, that your body is begging for him. you hate it. you want to scream—if only you weren't so tired and your mouth didn't ache so sorely.
'how about you lay back in the bed, hm?' his voice is soft, laced now with the sweet tone he uses to charm the wives of senators and the little girls that give him roses.
you oblige blindly, and rise, knees black and blue, legs trembling, but somehow you find yourself laid back against the plush sheets once again.
‘can’t believe nobody else has had you,’ he murmurs, removing his shoes carefully, and then undoing his suit. it’s brand new, and he doesn’t want to spoil it.
when he’s undressed to his boxers, you can’t help but admire his form. he’s well-toned, biceps muscular, the slight formation of abs on his stomach, and you can see his cock has once again hardened. you press your thighs together in want, and he watches as you gaze at him, half-terrified, eyes blown wide, and yet half-wanton, body beckoning him to take you and make you his.
‘god, you’re so pretty,’ he muses, crawling across the bed and placing his arms either side of you.
you shiver, suddenly feeling brushed with cold, perhaps it’s from him. how fitting, you think, that his name and touch are both reminiscent of the cold. you can feel his hard cock pressing against your thigh, a reminder of your helplessness in this situation. the way he’s going to do whatever he wants with you.
he slides his fingers under the straps of your dress, forcing it down your arms. you lie still as a stone, letting him slide the dress down your body, exposing your breasts, watching him sigh as your nipples respond to the frigid temperature radiating from his body.
he takes one breast in his mouth, laving at your nipple until it hardens under his tongue. your hands are urging you to clutch at his perfectly styled hair, but you cannot move; the tears are brimming in your eyes and you’re not sure if they’re out of shame that he’s touching you, or shame that your body is so pliant to his touch.
he pushes the dress down further, and gets on his knees until he’s completely stripped you of it. there you lay, among the pristinely white sheets, the party alive outside of your window; completely bare besides your panties. your skin is pocked with goosebumps as he runs his hands over your bare stomach, fingers latching at the waistband of your panties.
‘god, are you wet for me?’ he chuckled as he removes your soaked panties—still evidence that he’d managed to make you cum.
you are unresponsive until he gives your skin a pinch between his slender fingers, and a soft yelp escapes your lips.
‘talk to me,’ he commands, though there’s an undertone of begging. not that the president should ever have to beg. ‘i can’t have my pretty victor keeping silent, especially not while i fuck her. i want to hear the sweet sounds that are going to come from your lips.’
you give a nod, eyes flickering to glance at the ceiling, watching as the hazy lights from outside dance upon the ornate eaves. one of his hands touches your cheek, the chill bringing you back to meet his gaze.
‘gonna make you mine,’ he groans, reaching down to palm at his cock through his boxers.
you push away the tears at your eyes, and your hands go down to clutch at the sheets. you’re still a little floaty from the champagne, but it can’t seem to take you away from what is occurring right before your eyes.
'look at me!' he snaps, hard cock now pressing against the inside of your thighs.
'sorry,' you manage to get out, lips trembling as you brace yourself—he's big... too big.
'fuck, can't believe i get to have you all for myself...but i suppose it's the least i deserve as president,' a soft laugh plays upon his lips, the sound soon mottled by a low moan.
he eases the tip into your hole, sighing at your tightness. your eyes flutter shut, but strangely, your core only tingles as he slides himself into you. it's the ultimate betrayal—your body is yielding to him, growing wetter as he sheathes himself completely inside of you; at least, most of his eight inches.
'so fucking wet,' he grins devilishly, beginning to buck his hips gently.
you look so angelic, hair sprawled out on the pillow like a halo, the soft lights from the party glowing against your skin. coriolanus wants to take it slow, in spite of how much his cock is throbbing, because you are his prize—he must relish you. he can't let your virginity go to waste, after all. half the capitol has been vying for it, and now he is the one to take it. he imagines the disgruntled looks on the faces of the men who had bid for you when he informs them that you've been spoiled—and if any of them complained, well, he's the president. he could see to their... accidental deaths.
as he stretches out your tight walls, a pretty moan escapes your lips, by accident, but he takes this as a sign that you are surrendering yourself to him. coriolanus smiles a little to himself, and fastens the pace slightly, grunting as your body opens itself to his caresses.
‘you like that, hm?’ he inquires, one cold hand moving down to rub your clitoris.
you let out another gasp, this time of shock and pleasure, as his thumb presses against your sensitive nub. his eyes dance with delight as you come apart under him, your cunt growing slicker by the second. you’re so beautiful, and he glances down at the part where you two meet—his big cock stretching out your tight walls. a milky ring of your arousal coats his shaft, only driving him more lustful as he fucks you.
‘president snow…’ you cry out, trying to shove his hand away.
you can see the ire returning to his eyes, and when he presses down on your clit harder you stop and allow your body to relax. you realise it’s fruitless to try and fend him off anymore—he’s making you feel good, after all. but that’s the terrible part of it, the fact that you can feel waves of pleasure washing over you again. he’s smiling sickly, groaning as he ruts into you with grunts.
‘you're so fucking tight,’ he moans, watching you moan with pleasure as his fingers bring you to climax.
‘so good…’ you say, barely above a whisper, but the knowing look he cast you makes you admit it—after all, perhaps he’ll be kinder next time. let you decide when you want it.
‘yeah? you like the way my big cock is filling you out? how your president is reminding you who you belong to?’ he grunts, and you give a lazy nod.
the coil in your stomach comes unbound slowly as the combination of his cock stretching you out and his thumb rubbing diligent circles around your clit drives you over the edge. your toes curl sightly, arms moving up to grip at his back. you find the smooth, cold skin is surprisingly toned; hard muscles prominent under your touch.
you feel your pleasure peaking, body dancing with warmth and want. you try to stifle your moan by turning your head into the pillow, but his hand grasps your chin and pulls you back to meet his gaze.
‘don’t turn away from me!’ he scolds, brows knitting into a pained expression.
‘i’m sorry…’ you murmur, too ashamed to meet his gaze.
you feel a wave of pleasure wash over your body as his thumb coaxes another orgasm out of you—your second one for the evening. your cheeks fill with warmth as your arousal coats his cock, causing coriolanus to let out a breathy groan.
you pray that it ends soon, but your body continues to dance with pleasure and satisfaction, giving into him, allowing him to make his stake in you. his pretty little victor that he was deflowering—and she came around his cock and everything!
‘fuck,’ coriolanus grunts, hands travelling down to grab at the soft skin of your hips as he pounds into you. ‘all fucking mine. taking me so well…’
when you clench around him, he feels his balls tighten, and cock still for a moment as he reaches his own climax. you’re mewling so prettily—half-begging for him to stop by the way your head roles about in a dissociative reverie shows him that if your heart cannot be persuaded to take him, your body will.
‘shit,’ he spits as he slows his pace, dragging in and out of you at a painfully still speed.
he doesn’t want to finish so quickly, but you’re so fucking tight and your slick coating his cock has set his nerves on fire—his tip is throbbing with desire. coriolanus’ fingers are plunged into the supple skin of your hips, digging far enough that you feel a few bruises forming under the skin.
'so fucking tight,' he curses, sliding himself all the way out before filling you up to the hilt again. the sound of your wet cunt squelching around his big cock reverberates against the walls.
another moan escapes your plump lips, egging coriolanus on—clearly you're enjoying this to some extent; you've come twice tonight. next time he might not be so kind, after all, he's only being so sweet because you're a virgin—you're more like a prize to enjoy than anything else.
'gonna fill you up with my cum,' he sneers, eyes rolling shut as he pushes himself against your g-spot. you contract around him in response. 'you'd like that, wouldn't you? taking your president's cum? so patriotic, aren't you?'
the way he's still squeezing and pinching at your hips urges you to respond, so you cast a groggy nod—the champagne is still making your head swim.
'good girl,' he praises, and you respond with a genuine smile.
coriolanus grunts heavily, his balls tightening, and he feels hot spurts of cum spurt out from the tip of his cock. the relief that washes over him is blissful; watching you take every last drop of him makes him sigh deeply. you can't help but squirm at the sticky feeling as he thrusts his cum back up into you. you're trying not to lurch away in disgust—his hands, now clamping down on your shoulders, are keeping you there, close to him.
when he pulls out, he gazes at your weeping cunt in awe as his cum trickles down your thighs. you’ll always be his—he can see that by the tiny smudge of blood that also coats your inner thigh on one side. he doesn’t know if he can bear to sell you to those other men now; perhaps he’ll just have to lock you up here and keep you all to himself.
‘thank you, mr president,’ you murmur, half on the verge of sleep.
your body is humming with exhaustion, and you begin to curl up into a supine position, trying to force away the uncomfortable combination of his sticky cum and the dull ache between you thighs.
‘i’ll be back tomorrow,’ he presses a kiss to your forehead, smoothing a few tendrils of hair out of your half-closed eyes. ‘don’t think you can get away from me now, my pretty victor.’
1K notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
Text
...
#god. do u ever just look out at a landscape and think: there are layers and layers of history buried under that strip of sidewalk#creatures lived and died and lived and died and changed morphologically like a meandering river. into the sea back onto land#diverging and convering evolution. building changes through ever branching phylogeny. its crazy. literally unfathomable#it's so painfully clear rn that my astrobiolological interests are entangled in understanding how life works. i want to know the tiny#details. i want to look at traits across different branches within a phylum and understand where differences creep in and what we can learn#about the past from the present. i want. i want. i want a project where it doesnt feel like im bleeding myself dry. i want to produce data#that doesnt feel like its a symptom of a disease. i want to cultivate knowledge out of love. not in an effort to drown myself. not out of#some frantic Compulsion. i want to look up at the stars and not feel the weight of all the time i have to keep moving when im never going#fast enough. exhausting. but here i am again. spiralling. bc i spent all day drawing not reading even tho i was learning thru audio all day#slacker. an excuse. irrational. im self aware! and yet that doesn't seem to make things easier. never relaxed. always guilty.#sigh... my dad txted me that he missed me today. theyre up on that lake brimming with fossils and dead fish and broken glass. i wish i was#there too. watching fireflies and crawling around for algae and lichens. anyway i digress... i should find a phd project i say for the#thousandth time. maybe ill have the motivation now. maybe ive recovered enough i say like i didnt spontaneous burst into hysterical tears#Friday morning for no descenable reason. maybe. maybe. youll never kno if u dont try#unrelated
29 notes · View notes
historiaxvanserra · 4 months
Text
Whatever Our Souls Are Made Of
Pairing: SingleDad!Rhys x Reader
Summary: After his mate and the mother of his son abandons them, The High Lord and Nyx are left alone and wanting.
Word Count: 3.9k
Warnings: allusions to sexual assault, allusions to depression, abandonment, broken homes (y'know keeping it light, in all seriousness this is not all angst it's quite sweet actually).
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The sky is painted in hues of lavender and mauve and the flowering ivory clouds shade Velaris in a perpetual state of dusk. The silvery light of the waxing moon seems to cast you in a gentle opal light as you approach the opulent manor. The High Lord’s townhouse is nestled in the heart of the city of starlight and wreathed in the colors of twilight; a slate facade that looks as though it is crowned in green, climbing ivy and night-blooming jasmine frame the large bay windows on the ground floor. From here you can see the large stained-glass window on the top floor, light refracts and it casts a myriad of dancing light onto the stone below-- dappled pinks and roses that fracture and give way to amethyst and indigo.
You spare a look to your aged companion as she breaches the threshold of the High Lord’s residence and, on unsteady feet, approaches the ornate wooden door and knocks thrice. 
You remain for a moment a solitary figure at the entryway of the property, contemplating the series of events that led you here. Mother above, you chastise yourself. The thought occurs to you then, that perhaps you had made a mistake in coming here; that you should have given yourself more time, that you should have remained in the quiet solitude of the library where the world seems like a bitter memory. 
“Come, girl.” Madja’s voice is tired and impatient as she beckons you closer with the wave of a crooked finger. “Don’t just stand there.” 
You swallow thickly, bowing your head in obedience and you notice how her eyes soften as you approach the door tentatively.
“Nervous?” the old woman asks, you feel her eyes on you-- examining and critical.
“A little,” You admit, eyes downcast as you loose a shaky breath, “I haven’t left the library besides for training in quite some time.”
You stare down at the sleeves of your faded pewter robes as they billow in the evening breeze; the silver embroidery around the cuffs has begun to fray and the layers of fabric gather about your waist, the pleats have been poorly ironed and the heavy fabric falls over the curve of your hip haphazardly and pools to the floor in a swathe of heavy cotton. Shame pools in your stomach at the sight of your slippers as they peek out from the skirts of your robe. 
It’s about time you asked Clotho for a new set of robes you think. 
“You’ve met him before, no?” Madja’s voice breaks the tenuous peace you have found in those moments. You look up at her and a deep set frown graces her weathered face, “when you first came to Velaris?”
The visions fall on you like night; the Moonstone Palace saturated in onyx and jade, the reflections of your face in the marble of the throne room floor, the sentries as they dragged you before the High Council. The sounds of your screams and a sea of rubies and pearls as the bodice of your dress is torn away from your heaving chest-- all that red. Terrible and red. 
Hewn City had always been cruel to you. You, a useless daughter to an ambitious man. The dreams are less vivid now but the sound of footsteps on marble still haunts you. 
“Yes, it was him who brought me to Velaris-- after-afterwards,” You acquiesce to her questioning, eyes set on the light beyond the frosted glass panes of the onyx doorway, “though I doubt he remembers.”
Your avenging angel.
Madja looks at you carefully, taking account of you before she nods to you in silent acknowledgement. 
The door to the High Lords townhouse opens with a flourish to reveal Morrigan. She’s more beautiful than you remember, radiant even as the dark shadows of sleep cling to her. Her golden hair hangs in loose waves over the delicate curve of her shoulder and though the deep umber of her eyes meets yours in a warm inviting stare as she utters your name. 
She knows your name. 
“Come on in from the cold.” she beckons you with the curve of a slender hand. You smile politely as you cross the threshold of the house. The wards fall away as you pass through into the foyer and the smell of mandarin and night blooming jasmine flood your senses. 
The foyer to the townhouse is truly beautiful; a testament to the fine artistry and craftsmanship that seemed to define Velaris’ art district. The walls are paneled wood, painted in a shade of twilight that can only be found here, in The Night Court, and the burgundy carpet so rich in color that it reminds you of a blood moon, the oil paintings that hang on the walls seem to exude an air of majesty unlike anything you’ve ever seen. 
In this room night reigns triumphant and you behold it all with a sense of wonder and awe. A careful deference to the love and care contained between these walls. It is a home that has been truly cherished by the people that live here. 
“Did Madja tell you why you had been summoned here?” Morrigan’s voice is soft and sweet and the feeling of her hand on your robed arm pulls you from your thoughts. 
“Sorry - I - uh” I stutter, glancing between her hand on my arm and the unyielding warmth of her gaze. “No she didn’t, only that there was a position in the High Lord’s household that Clotho recommended me for.”
“It was my recommendation actually,” Morrigan smiles proudly, letting her hand drop to her side idly. “Clotho just happened to agree.” The words leave her lips with the ghost of a smirk as she recalls the conversation between her and the High Priestess.
The last time you had spoken to Morrigan would have been in Hewn City, all those years ago. You abandon yourself to those days; when you had been the cursed daughter of a capricious Lord. The girl you were died under that mountain. The woman that stands in her place had been forged of blood, and splintered bone-- made strong by violence and tempered by time.
You nod solemnly and cast a glance to Madja who watches on in quiet curiosity. 
“Rhys is upstairs,” Morrigan says softly to you both, gesturing up the staircase to the upper level of the house, “I’ll fetch him down”. 
You notice then how troubled Mor looks. The rings around her eyes are pale purple and blue and her skin, once radiant, has become pale and sallow. She begins her ascent up the stairs with a small wave of her hand signaling Madja to follow. From here you can see a singular light that pierces through the blanket of the dark that shrouds the upper levels of the house.
Mor regards you once more as Madja passes her on the stairs and points towards the ornate door that leads to the antechamber at the heart of the house. “Go on in, we won’t be a moment.” In a flourish of golden blonde hair and crimson Morrigan winnows away and leaves you to linger in the foyer for a quiet moment. 
The smell of cherries and marigold shades the air in her absence.
Voices, disembodied and distant from the upper levels of the house draw you into the heart of the house.
The antechamber of the High Lords townhouse is a beautiful living room, plunged into near darkness spare the slivers of jade light that dapple the dark walls from the emerald chandelier, even in the darkness you can make out the dark marble of the hearth that is draped with moonflowers and ivy. The low backed chairs are elegant and worn from use and there are books strewn about the room and a small library contained neatly in the alcove. 
Your eyes find the painting hung above the hearth; immortalized on oil and canvas the High Lord of Night and his Lady. The High Lord is painted in a deep navy tunic and the silver paint mimics the delicate embroidery favored by the Velarian tailors in The Rainbow. His violet eyes shine bright against the dark. 
He is a thing of dark beauty, you think.
In this light, his High Lady looks as though she is wreathed in starlight as smiles down on the antechamber from her place above the hearth. You observe the pointed curve of her nose and the upturn of her cerulean eyes and something aching and jealous festers in you at the sight of her beauty. 
Otherworldly and ethereal.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” The low tenor of a man calls out from the darkness of the room, the voice is measured and devoid of any emotion as it permeates the dark. The male cuts an intimidating figure in the low light and all thought and sound eddies from your mind. You’re sure the sound of your heart like an echoing war drum is loud enough to shake the mountains as he takes a step towards you.
“High Lord?” you question. He steps further into the light and you regard him pensively; his skin is pallid and his eyes are ringed with dark circles of amethyst that trouble you. His onyx hair is left tousled and the ends have grown long enough to curl away from the harsh lines of his face. The sharp junction of his jaw has become obscured by the smatterings of coarse, black hair that grow there.
Even still, even in the unforgiving jade light, he is the most beautiful male you have ever seen. He smells of night blooming jasmine and violets undercut with something inherently masculine. Pine and whiskey perhaps. 
His presence is something truly captivating; dark and intoxicating. When he looks at you there is only dark in those violet eyes. 
The High Lord sinks into the worn armchair by the hearth with a deep sigh and for a moment he allows his eyes to flutter closed as he breathes deeply and all you can do is surrender yourself to that dark magnetism. The dying fire in the hearth warms him and in this light you notice the golden hues of his skin and the dark inky trails tattooed across the planes of his chest where his shirt opens. 
“You’re staring--” The High Lord’s violet eyes falls onto you. In those liminal spaces between the seconds, when he is looking at you, all ceases to be. You tilt your chin downwards, hoping to avert his gaze, as you offer him a courteous bow. 
“My apologies High L-” the apology is cut off by the High Lords gentle protests. None of that, Love.
You pray to the mother that he doesn’t notice the flush along the tops of your cheeks or the wild fluttering of your heart at the pet name.
“Sit down,” The High Lord gestures simply to the seat across from him by the hearth and his whole demeanor is somehow softer when you deign to look at him again. Wordlessly you comply with his request, a careful hand runs down the length of your robes to smooth out the lazy pleats in the skirt as they fan out around you in the low backed chair and while you don’t dare to meet his eyes directly you can feel him looking at you.
    “I didn’t mean to startle you,” he apologizes though his voice is distant, despondent even and his eyes find the painting that looms over the hearth. “The portrait-- It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” He muses, tipping the rim of his whiskey glass towards the portrait. 
“Very beautiful, High Lord.” you agree, smoothing the heavy material of your robes again. He watches you then with a curious glint in his eyes and he takes a few moments to assess you.
“Just Rhysand will do,” He smiles lightly, though there's a sense of apprehension as he regards you playing with the threads of your sleeves for the third time in so many moments, “there’s no need for such formalities when it’s just the two of us.” 
“No of course not,” You agree and look at him through thick lashes and offer him a small smile in return, “forgive me, I’m--” you extend a hand to him over the small end table between the arm chairs and he takes it in earnest shaking it lightly. A calloused pad of his thumb rubs an absentminded circle into the skin of your hand before he brings your hand, trembling and slender, to the sulk of his lips and places a chaste kiss against the knuckles. 
“I know who you are, Priestess,” he says lightly-- playfully. You offer him a polite laugh in return and nod your head again. 
Something dark burns in his eyes in those moments; silver and violet. Like the darkness between the stars. He smiles to himself then, a soft beautiful thing. A secret shared between him and the dying light in the hearth as he picks at an errant threat on the stitching of his shirt.
“Why am I here, Rhysand?” You ask, inhaling deeply, hoping that his answer might assuage the anxiety that has been coiling in your stomach all afternoon. The door to the antechamber opens then and light, golden and radiant spills into the room all at once. The radiant light reveals the room to you fully, you observe the emerald velvet chairs and the dark wood furnishings, the landscapes hung on the walls and the rare manuscripts and novels bound all in black that line the walls. 
This house is something truly breathtaking. 
It feels like a home you realize. 
“There you are!” Morrigan's velvet voice smothers the morose tension in the room as she comes into view. She’s since shed the tiredness that plagued her before and you notice the way her hair frames her face like a halo of gold in the soft ochre light. In her arms, swaddled in sapphire spider silk, is the High Lord’s son. 
“We were beginning to wonder where you had gone.” Mor coos at the bundle in her arms as she approaches Rhysand who takes the babe in his strong arms. 
As if he could get any more beautiful-- the man looks as though he was carved by The Mother. 
It’s wrong, you know. He is your High Lord and you are…
The cursed daughter of a capricious Lord, you remind yourself.
Rhysand glances at me hesitantly and I meet his eyes briefly before focusing on the babe in his arms. He’s since broken loose from the swaddling and his chubby fist clutches at his fathers shirt. I can just see the top of his little head, it's all tufts of curly blue-black hair and pointed pink ears. You smile fondly to yourself as he continues to wriggle in his father’s grasp. 
Gods, it’s been so long since you had smiled that wide without the feeling of guilt that usually attends it. 
“You used to be a governess, didn’t you?” Mor says by way of explanation for your summons. To her credit her smile never falters even as your demeanor hardens against her, “Clotho said you had talked about it a few times.” 
“Yes. I was,” You admit swallowing thickly, your voice comes out strained like the words themselves pain you to speak, “that was a long time ago though.”
That had been long before him. 
You must have only been a youngling yourself. You had been happy-- that much you remember. Those were the happy recollections of your old life; summers spent under the opal lights of The Moonstone place, children’s laughter like birdsong that breaks apart in the humid air as you danced and sang long into the nights. Of dark autumns and smoky air, a bonfire and a small hand that holds your own with such gentle reverence. 
“Clotho said you wanted to leave the Library?” Rhysand questions you, his eyes are dark and filled with a thinly veiled darkness that draws you into their depths as you speak to him without pretense. 
“I do,” You answer him honestly, your voice wavering only a little, “I don’t want to spend my days rotting in the depths of that House.”
Rhysand considers it carefully and his face twists into a pained expression that almost breaks your resolve. You hadn’t meant to hurt him-- never. But you’re done hiding in the dark. 
The world is a cruel place and full of cruel men. It always had been and it always will be. There is nought you can do to change that. So why should you cower from the world any longer? 
You want to live. 
The whining of the restless babe in Rhys’ arms rouses your attention and something akin to longing gathers in your chest as you regard him. You pull a lip between your teeth as he fusses and Rhysand struggles to soothe him. The babe looses a cry that comes out as a pitiful howl and you can feel a small ripple of power permeate the air.
“May I hold him?” The words take everyone in the room by surprise and the High Lord only nods easily and stands to pass the babe into your arms.
“I’m grateful,” You continue as Rhysand stands before you and transfers his son’s weight into the crook of your arm, “To you and your court for providing me, and girls like me with somewhere to heal but--” 
“But you weren’t meant to cower in the darkness of the library forever.” Rhysand’s words come out as little more than a whisper and the feeling of his warm breath on your skin is something entirely perverse. 
You shake your head, mouthing an inaudible ‘no’ before lowering yourself back into the chair by the hearth, hoping to hide the rosy blush that spreads across your cheeks. Rhys doesn’t retreat back into his armchair like you had thought he might and instead sinks to his knees before you and allows one of his son's fists to wrap around his ring finger. The babe seems to quieten then in your arms as he nuzzles against your chest, one balled first clinging to his father and the other pulling at the neckline of your robes and he smiles sleepily in your arms.
Looking at him now you are overcome with the realization of the absence that had stained this family’s happiness. Rhysand had given himself completely to a woman who had changed her mind. And their son-- their son; all cherub cheeked and big blue eyes framed with dark lashes-- had been abandoned by the woman who was supposed to love him without condition. Before the ghost of her had been an abstract thing. Something intangible and errant, a whisper or a memory, but now, as you look between the babe in your arms and the woman immortalized about the hearth you feel nothing but biting fury. A dangerous wrath only tempered by the stilling of the High Lord beside you. 
It is Morrigan’s movement at the side of the room that rouses you from thought. “Then perhaps we can come to an arrangement?” The smile that graces her lips is brilliant and calculating and the sparkle in those umber eyes tells you she is genuine in his intentions.
“An arrangement?” You ask hesitantly, raising one arched brow to her. 
“Yes.” The High Lord nods in agreement as Morrigan approaches you all casually, sauntering over to snatch a glass of wine from the decanter, “you’re free to leave the Library at any time but--”
“Help me take care of Nyx,” The High Lord beats you to it, his voice is soft and gentle and one of his fingers runs along the curve of Nyx’s ear as he begins to doze in your arms. 
“High Lor-” You start, and you’re torn between declining outright and trying to dissuade them altogether, “Mor, I haven’t cared for a babe in well over 60 years.”
“Listen to me,” Rhysand’s violet gaze is unyielding and when you can no longer avert his gaze he takes on of your hands in his own and all but pleads with you,  “take care of Nyx, for one year-- just until I get used to doing it on my own-- just until he starts his pre-schooling.” 
The thought of him raising his son all alone pains you, a physical, bone deep ache that settles over you. You mourn for him then, for the love he thought he had, for all that he lost and then you mourn for the babe in your arms. For the son who will grow up without knowing his mother’s love. The High Lord looks at you through dark lashes and you note the tiredness in his eyes and the desperate sadness that seems to radiate from him these days and yet, he smile softly at you. As one might smile at something lovely and precious. 
“And in return?” You ask peering down at him with sympathetic eyes when his whole body goes lax.
“I’ll help you get set up somewhere-- anywhere you want.” The words come quickly and if you were a cruel woman you would see what more he would offer you. But when he’s looking at you like you might just be his last hope you can’t find it in you to do anything but allow yourself to be persuaded by him.
You see a home; a cottage maybe, made of ancient stone and covered with climing ivy and jasmine. On the outskirts of Velaris, away from the artisans and market stalls of the main square, but close enough that you never feel truly alone. A home and it smells of mandarin and moonflowers, the sound of children laughing, and a garden blooming with violets in the garden in the leonine yellow heat of high summer. You smile wistfully and you swear you feel the gentle caress of a hand in your mind's eye. 
“You can live here with us in the meantime” Rhysand continues gesturing to the house around you. 
It’s warm and inviting and your body sings in response to the prospect. 
“I don’t think that's a good--” 
“Just until you find somewhere of your own.” He assures you standing to his full height before you. He casts a morose glance to the portrait that hangs about the hearth and you can see the moment his violet eyes meet painted cerulean. 
“Rhys--” You warn gently. 
“Please,” He turns to you again and the desperation in his tone has you yielding to him further, a gentle sweep over your face before settling on the sleeping babe in your arms, “please.” He repeats it once more and you swear your heart breaks just a little bit for him. 
He had saved you once, you think. You had only been a girl then but you remember looking at him in that light; he looked like the shadow of some dark winged God-- avenging and angelic.
Perhaps this time the girl can save the God.
“A bargain then.” You muse lightly holding out a pinky finger to him.
Rhysand huffs out a laugh and curls his finger around your own. Nyx’s hand seems to flex in response, his own tiny pinky finger outstretched in agreement. 
“A bargain.” With the simple confirmation you feel the gentle burn of a promise as it kisses its way up your wrist, and you see Rhysand’s own inky sigil as it glows faintly on the skin of his outstretched arm.
1K notes · View notes