౨ৎ ⋆。˚ lack
♡ TRIGGER WARNING: mentioned alcoholism, substance abuse
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ lack: to be without or deficient in
— "everything comes from nothing."
this is true. without having nothing, being at the bottom, being in a state of lack and starting from the ground up, we would never have decided to seek out something more because we would already have it. lack is the motivator behind the creation of everything we know, even if it may not be the creator. lack is what gives said creator the drive to create.
so when we feel a lack in our lives, we obviously feel a need to fill that. this creates desire. and as we are hardwired for negativity, in turn a lot of the time this leads down negative pathways because that is our natural route. but lack is always the creator of these pathways. we always lead back to our roots, and lack is the only unchanging root we all unify under.
from the simplest to the most complicated of circumstances, lack is always the culprit, because there is always a desire driving us to do these things.
desire comes from lack, and desire is found in the smallest of things. and desire and wanting leads to action. like for example if you want breakfast in the morning you'd go and hunt around the kitchen foraging for food like a wild animal. (me coded)
for example, many bad habits like substance abuse or alcoholism come from a desire to "fill the void" as it's often described, the void being emptiness, emptiness being lack.
another example; an inability to uphold healthy relationships, platonic, familial, romantic or otherwise, also often comes from a traumatic or repeated experience with instability. instability literally means "lack of stability", once again leading to lack, making them subconsciously crave what they already know. you see what i mean?
think about your problems and think about their origins. think about what you want and why you want it. you will find almost, if not every time it leads back to lack.
because everything comes from nothing.
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ wrap up
♡ NAME A PROBLEM IN YOUR LIFE
♡ WHERE DOES THIS COME FROM?
♡ WHAT DO I WANT?
♡ WHY DO I WANT THIS?
♡ WHAT AM I LACKING?
♡ HOW DO I CREATE THAT IN A HEALTHY WAY?
lots of love ♡
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Things i think should be implemented for all adults immediately:
Adult sized Playgrounds. Both outside ones and indoor padded ones
Recess
Light up shoes
Getting a little gift at the doctor's. Especially invasive uncomfortable ones like downstairs ones and the dentist (and no the gift cannot be a toothbrush).
Further info on the gifts: Plushies, little toys, fidgets and stuff you can get at finance conventions are all applicable. These cannot be gendered if my gynecologist gives me a girl power lipgloss i will start murdering people i want a plushie. (not pink!). Badges for being very brave and doing an awesome job.
Getting a little gift after you submitted your taxes or when you did some official paperwork like a patch or maybe a sticker
Dinosaur bed sheets (adult sized!!!!)
Nonfiction books with textured patches in them and little flaps to reveal secret information. Because unfortunately i already know about farm animals.
No homework (this goes for kids too it's damaging)
Books about adventures that aren't about sex or depression or violence or tax evasion but also do not the feature 11 year old protagonists as middle schooler books understandably do.
Sand boxes with sand box toys and little mills you can power with sand and no i don't mean zen gardens they're awesome but not what i need
Informed consent gender affirming care and abortions and sterilisations
Museums where you can touch everything and press buttons to make things move (and no the ones that are specifically for kids get you stared at and you are expected to let the kids go first. I have the same rights a toddler has to stare at how the different sands move from button pressing position for 15 minutes and i need a space to do so)
Cool funfacts about animals and space in the newspaper
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·.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. staying at your boyfriend’s house for the first time is nerve wracking. though luckily satoru understands your situation all too well.
wc. around 870
tags. older bf!gojo satoru x female reader. fluff, teeny tiny bit suggestive implications. reader is implied to be a virgin + has no experience dating. satoru being a gentleman hehe. nicknames used ‘sugar, sweetheart’. not beta read.
“are you sure?” you ask your lover who’s making himself comfortable on the couch. satoru sits down and gives you a reassuring smile. he adjusts the blue blanket he’s covering himself with before responding.
“mhm. a hundred percent,” he nods and reaches for your hand. his thumb brushes over your knuckles in a soothing manner. his blue eyes glow with the purest form of love—pure unadulterated love for you.
it’s your first time staying over at your boyfriend’s. it’s nerve wracking for some reason. maybe because you have all kinds of ideas running through your head about how your night could possibly go.
the thought about possible intimacy is scary, because you’re not sure if you’re actually prepared. you had set your mind to it on your way to his house; you will be ready if satoru asks to take things further. for his sake. .
but, when the time had come, nothing happened. you expected at least something to happen. he’s kissed you as per usual, however more than that has not occurred. perhaps it’s your own fault for trying to predict what will happen.
though how can you not? you assumed that if a boyfriend and girlfriend spend the night together, they’ll surely do something more. at least you think that’s what happens most of the time. with other couples that is.
you should’ve known by now that satoru doesn’t compare to other men. especially not to the college boys your age—who only want to hit and move on. satoru is serious about your relationship. committed.
“what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, sugar?” satoru’s smooth voice interrupts your thoughts. you clear your throat and shake your head, dismissing your own tendencies to overthink every little thing.
his big hands cover both of yours completely. they’re warm. nice to hold. the older man lifts your hands up to his lips and kisses your palms. you sigh and finally relax after what feels like hours, “nothing, ‘toru.”
nothing, you say. little did you know that satoru has long noticed what’s wrong. you’re easy to read—your body language reveals every little thing you’re feeling.
you subconsciously had your fists clenched at your sides the second you stepped into his apartment. you’ve been avoiding eye contact more than usual and you keep nibbling on your bottom lip. those were all the signs he needed.
satoru knows you well enough to realise that you’re overly nervous. he understands why. it’s your first time staying overnight at a man’s house—your boyfriend’s house.
satoru’s sure you’re thinking that he’ll ask you to sleep with him. it’s obvious. each time he kisses you, you tense up. you normally get flustered, though today you’re more than just nervous.
he doesn’t want you to be uncomfortable. he doesn’t want you to think that he’ll do anything you’re not ready for. the last thing satoru would do is take advantage of this precious moment. of his precious girl.
it’s also why he suggested to sleep on the couch. he figured that you’ll be less nervous if you have the bed to yourself. all he wants is for you to relax around him.
“may i?” satoru whispers. his warm breath caresses your hands and you instantly give your consent to whatever he wishes to do. the older man thanks you quietly before putting his forehead against yours.
you look into each other’s eyes and you’re once again stunned by the beauty of his blue orbs. satoru brushes his knuckles over your cheek, adoring just how adorable you look from up close, “it’s okay, yeah? i won’t ask you to do anything. i promise.”
you blink. it’s only then that the realisation dawns upon you. no wonder satoru has immediately noticed your nervous demeanour. he’s always so perceptive of how you feel. it’s quite heartwarming.
those comforting words are all you need. you smile brightly and hug satoru out of reflex. you hear a giggle escape his lips before he returns the gesture. his strong arms wrap around your form and he squeezes you to his chest.
“aww, there’s my baby,” satoru coos. he’s happy that he’s finally succeeded at calming you down. he’s also happy that he got your usual self back. he tenderly kisses the top of your head.
you lift your head up to get some air. satoru’s tight embrace and familiar scent nearly suffocated you—not that you would mind going out like that. you kiss his cheek, “thank you for being so. . err, patient and understanding.”
your boyfriend shakes his head with a soft smile playing across his lips. satoru leaves a trail of ticklish pecks down your face until he reaches your lips. after waiting for your usual sign - a faint nod - he captures them in a gentle kiss.
he pulls away after a few seconds, though stays close to your face. you’re filled with an incredible feeling of warmth because of satoru’s obvious adoration for you. pure content.
he lets out a breathy laugh at your cute, flustered expression. he pulls you in for a hug again and presses your head against his chest, “heh, no, i should thank you for trusting me. i love you s’much.”
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