#a true bloody himbo

[manicpixiefelix]

Whatever you do, friend! Try not to think of Felix in-between Reader and Ollie - maybe on a couch or bed - alternating between making out with the siblings. Felix is breathless and a little dizzy.

vibes 😌💖 but also I have started thinking about this!! trapped in this little fantasy even though you warned me!! You've also reminded me of this absolutely delicious thought you sent the other day;

Reader and Ollie's elite friend group at Oxford now includes Felix, this beautiful boy radiating such glorious himbo energy, draping himself across the siblings at every opportunity and including himself in the groups conversations and plans. The dynamic between the three is so strange as the siblings seem to share Felix.

so since I'm here I'm gonna play in this space for a bit; just a warning it gets a bit suggestive and you all get a bit high --

Because Felix has spent so much of his life as an object of desire. If he admitted that out loud he knows it'd make him sound vain and self obsessed, but it is just true. This, however? The way both you and your brother look at him, touch him, want him? It makes his head spin.

Because Felix has spent so much of his life being wanted, he never stopped to think how fucking good it would feel to be wanted by someone he wants in return.

And there's two of you.

Everyone at Oxford knew the dynamic between the three of you had shifted after you and Oliver had spent the Summer with him at Saltburn. Sure, you'd clearly both adored Felix before, had flirted with him and gone out of your way to be in contact with him, but now it was... official? Was that the right way to put it? Possessive. That's more like it. Uncomfortably hot to think about, he'd once overheard. All three of you took a bit of pride in that when he'd told you. But no, Felix never really minded; he knows people find him charming and beautiful and magnetic, but even he is shocked to have two beautiful heirs so willing to get on their knees for him. He'd take any opportunity to show either, or both, of you off just as you'd both eagerly do the same with very little provocation.

"Our Felix."

In a dark corner of some house party, all of you a little high, a little drunk, tangled up together, curled around him on a loveseat definitely meant for two people, Felix feels like he's losing track of where he ends and you two begin. Its not at the point of indecency - yet - but he's not exactly sure which hands are yours and which are Ollie's, both of you curled up with him pressed between you both. You're tucked up with your head on his chest, while Oliver has his chin on Felix's shoulder, all enjoying the warm, buzzing high that engulfs you as you pass a joint back and forth between the three of you. If this moment lasted forever, Felix thinks he'd be okay with that.

Oliver always seemed to get quieter when he got high, somehow more owlishly observant, but his focus was always unnervingly absolute, if affectionate. You, however, were the tactile one of the pair, insistent yet careless about your love, needing others to keep you in check while in public as your shame seemed to evaporate in the smoke. Sober-Felix is glad for Oliver in those moments, as he seemed to have a great deal of experience in stopping High-You from making a fool of yourself. (High-Felix thinks he's a bloody buzzkill half the time; it's not like anyone would really care if you went down on him under the table at a club, right?)

All that to say that Felix knew it was really only a matter of time before you were pressing insistent kisses along his jaw, practically begging for his attention here on the sofa well after midnight at this house party. He loved having you both like this, with all the world at your fingertips but you both prefer to be holding him. Oliver cradles his face so delicately as he presses the joint between Felix's lips, and you practically melt under his touch as he shotguns that lungful of smoke into your mouth. He mumbled blurry praise against your lips as you hold the smoke in.

"Aren't they just darling?" Oliver sighs fondly in Felix's ear in a voice that reminded Felix why so many people believed the rumours about the two of you. But in this moment he can only bring himself to agree, wearing a smug smile as he nips teasingly at your lips.

"They're just darling," he echoes as you whine and finally let the smoke from your lungs. Felix finally stops teasing and kisses you, just as sloppy, passionate, and desperate as you are in that moment. The moment his hand slides from around your shoulder, down your side to your hip to pull you in closer, you moan faintly into his mouth. Felix feels when you cross one leg over the other, that leg coming making its way over one of his too, but coming to a stop before you can slide your leg between his thighs.

"Careful," Oliver's voice is low and sly when he interrupts you both. When you pull back, Felix sees Oliver's hand on your knee, the thing that had kept things from getting far more scandalous for the time being. While you whine about it, Oliver gives you a placating smile, softly pushing your leg back and passing over the joint as if it's compensation. Felix's head already feels like it's spinning from the sensations of it all, but Oliver's hand is gentle on his chin, tilting Felix's lust filled gaze while you were otherwise taking a hit.

"You'll get your chance," Oliver promises with a wicked grin before he too is kissing Felix. More insistent than his sibling, Oliver bites at Felix's lips, makes Felix think the word obsessive in the most loving way.

You giggle in his ear this time - our Felix, so good to us - as if he'd be anything less than. Oliver's hand is still on your thigh while you're half curled against Felix. A tiny part of him thinks the three of you must be getting looks, if anyone's bold enough to look in your direction, but the rest of him doesn't care. None of you do, your own little world, your own feedback loop of endorphins, all at once desiring and the desired. When he has both of your attention on him like this he is inevitably a mess, the way you lavish him with praise and affection, a lover shared, obedient between you both and simply eager to give as good as he got.

I'm kind of a mess about this dynamic omg...... but so is Felix 🥰🥰

#felix catton x reader x oliver quick #felix catton x reader #saltburn x reader #saltburn imagine #felix catton imagine #oliver quick x reader #felix x oliver #oliver x felix #oliver quick imagine #head heart hand fic #oliver ln au #it shouts back

[apostleofgreed]

It's here, the finale - my friends thoughts throughout Nona the Ninth (it's a long one)

Right which one of these idiots is stuck in Nona's body

Signs point to both

I think more likely Harrow and shes just removed the massive stick up her ass

Most other signs thus far do point to Gideon though- lack of aforementioned stick, finds herself attractive, loves ass jokes, wants to pet dogs (Harrow seems like a don't work with animals or children type)

Also these other kids have names like they're gonna be running in the fucking grand national

Honestly what the fuck is going on with child conception in this series???

Someone has five dads, God was asking if Harrow and Ianthe were being 'safe' sexually and I'm just confused

Okay so I've only listened to half an hour today but if Crown isn't coronabeth I will eat my own arm

My theory is that neither of them are in Harrow's body and that she's being possessed by The Body

Maybe I should follow in Harrow's footsteps and ask you to fucking lobotomize me

No beta we die like Babs

"what do you think is sexy?" "Eating breakfast" Me too, Camilla, me too

Maybe someone needs to lobotomize Judith, has anyone thought of that?

Thing is I feel like I'm supposed to think John is really bad and is the villain here but I just don't

The worst thing he's done is lie to his friends for a few thousand years

Finally, the baddest bitch in all the nine houses (it's Ianthe)

What a power move honestly first she steals Babs' soul now she steals his body, absolutely inspired

She could literally kill another 200 babies to resurrect Harrow and I'd be like what a babe 😍 at this point

I'm bored of shooting can we go back to swords and doing weird things with your body please

I just think it would be great if Harrow could hop back into her body and have a full meltdown about how to function in this world

Erm Corona darling can you please try to stop them bombing your sister in the body of one of your lifelong pals pls and thanks

Y'all better sTOp

Fucking marry, kill, reanimate I can't hahahaha

"that's not actually crown's boyfriend Nona, it's her sister but I don't think anyone could blame you for getting confused" Fair hahahahah so very true

Don't know how they think this is gonna work seeing as though Harrow and Ianthe literally lived together for like over a year and had an interpersonal relationship but ok

Maybe it's because pash has the accent of a rudeboy from Oldham and suffer is weirdly French (on disliking We Suffer and Pash)

Palamades in Ianthe in Babs is sending me west

Abigail died too soon and really she did all the legwork in Harrow

Can't help but feel all of this drama could have been avoided if Harry had just done the job properly in the first place and just let Gideon die properly

All of this just because an 18 year old gave herself the brain scramblies

Cam has just burst into fire wtf

Can't believe Crux hasn't dropped dead tbh

I've got less than an hour left I feel like we're cutting it fine to get Harry back in her body here

Big flex to be waiting for everyone to arrive smoking a ciggie with your golden skeleton arm

Fucking friendship bracelets and a secret handshake hahahahah

Gideon needs to stop being such a bloody himbo

Who has shouted "get in line thou big slut!" Hahahahah

There we have it, the full series. Hope y'all have enjoyed this.

#the locked tomb #tlt #nona the ninth #Nona #ianthe tridentarius #coronabeth tridentarius #harrowhark nonagesimus

[sakuraryomen01]

Valentino.. /Sukuna Ryomen x Female Reader/ .o6

warnings: asshole sukuna, college prep. school (aka bitch u at an expensive ass school), former friends to lovers, slow burned love, yuji is sukuna's little brother, getting ignored by childhood crush (*gasp*), slight peer pressure from Gojo, a drunk kiss or two, ooc sukuna, clingy!sukuna, drunk!sukuna, ooc getou, and shoko, alcohol, intoxication, passing out at sukuna's dorm

reader: female reader; 23 years of age, college prep.

plot: It's been years since you've moved from country life, since you've forgotten about all the things you used to love about your hometown and where you grew up from... you didn't think it'd chase you to college in the city after almost a decade..

words: 5.423k

fanfic masterlist: .o1 .o2 .o3 .o4 .o5 .o6 .o7 .o8 .o9 .10 .11 .12 .13 .14 .15 .16 .17 .18 .19 .20

a/n:: had fun writing this chapter honestly! i didn't think that the chapter would get so long, but it was finished and edited before i realised! thx for the support and i hope you guys enjoy reading this fanfiction to the end! ❤

~~

Thank you for reading this bit! Enjoy~

. . .

"A party." You responded with a blank stare, disheveled clothes and messy hair. "And why would I go to said 'party'?"

It was almost noon on a day off, something you don't get often seeing as you juggle a part-time job and college courses all at once. And Gojo's sparkling smile, tall frame covered in a white T and sweats, wasn't exactly the best thing for you to see on the weekend. Your eyes continued to blur as your mind was still in a sleepy state, making you rub your eyes as Gojo started to whine.

"C'mon, Y/n-chan!" He pouted, his pretty pink lips quivering like he was going to cry. "I thought about it, and you have officially lived the most boring college girls' life!"

It took serious brain power to come up with that conclusion? You thought to yourself, leaning against the doorframe. All your weight pressed into the wood with a creak, you sighed and shook your head.

"Gojo, I don't need to go to a party," You mumbled, standing from your place against the frame and rubbing the morning crust in your eyes. "I'm perfectly fine not getting drunk and finding a pair of lips to play with like you, okay?"

The white haired demon you called a friend pressed his lips together in a frown, white brows scrunching together as if he was insulted.

It was true though.

"How could you?" He pouted, his voice a mock whimper to try and bait you into apologizing. "I've been one of the bestest friends you've ever had and you insult me so?"

You did get into a fight with Getou..

It's been a week since Getou and Gojo got into their little tith over a girl at some bar, but Getou was still walking around with a slightly swollen lip and a bruise over his eye. If you were completely honest, you were surprised Gojo made such a fuss over getting a bloody nose.

"Whatever, Sato’," You sighed, rolling your eyes and pouting your lip. "..Look, if I change my mind I'll call you."

There was a smile, a sparkle, and a coo that erupted and formed from Gojo. You could tell by how tightly he squeezed you after a few seconds just how happy you made him.

Wonderful, everyone likes a happy Gojo Satoru, You thought, laced with sarcasm.

Once Gojo had left your dorm apartment, you closed the door and made your way to the kitchen. It was a little over an hour when you decided to cook some eggs and have ramen when your phone began to buzz with notifications from Sukuna. Surprised, you picked up the phone and decided to call, hearing a disgruntled groan on his end and then a huff.

"Can you come pick up your twink friend?" He asked, making you wonder who he was talking about before you let out a sigh.

"Sorry," You mumbled before hanging up and hastily finishing your food. "Put him on the phone, lemme talk to him."

"Alright. Himbo, get over here."

There was a bit of a fight between Sukuna's name calling before Gojo's voice chirped on the line. "Y/n-chan, you're gonna need better friends than this brute! He keeps calling me dumb names, and it's hurting my feelings."

"I thought you didn't have feelings, Satoru," You teased, hearing a laugh from Sukuna in the background and Gojo whining some more. Eventually you got Gojo to agree to leave the apartment and started talking to Sukuna about studying that night.

"I was thinking about going out, actually."

"Ah, really?"

"Mhm, been cooped up for too long, ya'know?" Sukuna lets out a sigh, as he shuffles through some things. The sounds of some TV shows played while he continued talking. "..It's a little weird talking to you on the phone like this after so long."

"Hm?" You let out a small hum, although you did agree with him.

You hadn't talked on the phone ever, and texting was rare even. If you were honest, you didn't want to push Sukuna anymore by making him interact with you. You may have been friends in the past, but Sukuna changed a lot.

He wasn't the same as before. He's grown up into an adult.

"Are you going on that trip after midterms?" Sukuna cuts in, making you flinch for a moment. Trip?

"Oh right, the one to the old Willow tree farm?" You asked, your memories flooding back from when you were little.

All the blueberries you had picked with Sukuna and Yuji, the games and forts you used to do while school was out. The visits to the library after classes let out and in between, reading about anything; from flowers and beetles to dragons and legends. All those days and all those nights, your time was usually spent hanging out at the Willow Tree.

"I was thinking about it," You confess, scratching your nose and sitting down in the living room. A bag of chips in your lap as you flipped through movies to watch. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason, really. Just curious."

You hum again before checking the time, seeing that Gojo's party was going to start in about an hour or two. Bouncing your leg, tapping your foot, you started to consider Gojo's offer for a good time. What you didn't understand was why you suddenly wished for fun in your life, maybe it was because of the lack thereof in it. With a sigh, you stand and head to your bedroom, Sukuna languidly talking about classes and your next break.

"Hey, do you want to go to Satoru's party?" You asked, looking through your closet for clean clothes. Planning on getting into the shower, you hear Sukuna hum. "Is that a yes?"

"I don't know, really," Sukuna answered, some shuffling in the background. "Why? Are you planning on going?"

"I wanted to stop by, maybe have one of those horrible drinks."

Hearing a light chuckle on Sukuna's end, you smile and pick out a cute outfit for the party. Whatever the reason for your sudden change in plans, you decided it wouldn't be much to fuss over.

After a few moments, you hear a sigh and then a huff: "Mind if I tag along? Don't exactly like the idea of some douche leaving ya at a party."

"Aw, still worrying about me?" You asked, teasing with a gentle coo as a growl erupted from the other end of the phone.

"So help me, girl. You'll be the end of me."

. . . 

After you had taken your shower, hair dried and a cute outfit on, you sat in your living room until you heard a knock at the door. Turning off the T.V, you stood from your place on the couch and walked over to answer it. Much to your surprise, even after he had offered, Sukuna stood at your door.

Hair fluffy and slicked back, eyes as dark and brooding as ever too. Your eyes grazed down to take in his choice of fashion and it was a rather simple one. Unexpectedly, he wore a white T with a pair of ripped jeans. His jacket was black leather and Sukuna also wore a small silver chain around his neck. A small, silver cross hung from the thin chain and it made you giggle, coaxing a reaction from the man at your door.

With a tilted head, he pressed his brows together. "What's got you giggling?"

"Oh, nothing," You chuckled, reaching over to grab your dorm keys and phone before heading out and locking up. "I didn't think you'd actually give me a ride to the party, Sukuna. That's really sweet of you."

"Don't call me sweet," Sukuna huffed, nodding his head towards the exit and walking on ahead. "I got called 'sweet' at least three times coming here."

You rolled your eyes at the mention of your neighbors, seeing as they called every man or woman sweet. With a sigh, you followed your friend to the exit of the dorm, a few girls that had spotted Sukuna early wishing their goodbyes. Once you had gotten to the truck, Sukuna opened the passenger's side, waiting for you to climb in and buckle up.

After you did just that, Sukuna closed the door and climbed into the driver's side. You continued to tease Sukuna about being a gentleman all the while he started up the engine and denied the claims of being so nice to you. You laughed at this as Sukuna pulled out of his parking spot, turning a corner and heading in the direction of the party.

"So some random house?" Sukuna asked after you had given the directions. In return, you shrugged. "Seriously, you don't make sure you're safe before you go somewhere, do you?"

A dead panned look was sent his way, which in turn got a scowl. After a few more half-hearted arguments, you and Sukuna calmed down. A couple turns later, there were the sounds of random hip-hop and remixed songs playing from this large home in the middle of an upper-class looking neighborhood. Whether or not you knew this house, you had a little doubt that it didn't belong to Gojo's family.

"This is rather suspicious," Sukuna muttered from behind you, managing to find a space amongst all the cars and people crowding around the home. "Are you sure you want to go in?"

"Mhm, this is okay," You nod, waving your hand as you unbuckled yourself. "If you want, you can come in to see that I'm really gonna be fine."

Without much argument or need for thought, Sukuna undid himself too and climbed out of his truck. Hurrying over to open your door as a few girls and their dates walked by with the smell of booze trailing behind him.

Yeah, this seems very safe. Sukuna thought to himself, watching the couples stumble their way to a trash can that was laid outside on the lawn.

Sukuna quickly made sure to assert himself beside you as you started to make your way inside the house. Although, you were texting on your phone for a moment before putting it into your pocket. Sukuna opened the door quickly as the music inside the house started to grow louder and louder, the many bodies of couples and people looking for a hook-up danced to the rhythm inside.

You tried with all your might to not get caught up in the dancing frenzy, but a hand got ahold of your wrist and pulled you away from Sukuna. Unease set in as you felt Sukuna's presence went away, although you could hear him yelling for you from another part of the living room for you.

"I can't believe you actually came!" The cheriest voice known to man as he managed to pull you into a hug. "Oh, I'm so happy! Getou and Shoko-chan are in my room getting high off their heads if you want to join them!"

Your eyes managed to find the man's seeing pearly blue orbs shined bright even in such a dimly lit area. "Gojo, you scared me! Don't pull me like that, please."

Gojo pressed his lips to your forehead in a sudden peck and cooed, pinching your cheeks. "Don't worry, Y/n. I won't bite."

You held the place Gojo kissed with a flushed, and surprised, look on your face. Quickly regaining consciousness of the situation, you gave Gojo a quick slap on the arm and pushed him away. His giggles and slurred motions signaling that he was a little buzzed.

"I thought you didn't drink?" You questioned, seeing Gojo's white lashes flutter as he tried focusing on you.

"Today's special, since it's Getou's birthday," Gojo responded with a hiccup, covering his mouth as another cute giggle escaped him. "I think anyways, he said that it'd be cool to see me get wasted."

You sighed as you turned and saw Sukuna with an unreadable expression. His brows pressed together looking between you and Gojo, a sneer forming on his face for a moment before he shook his head and walked over to join you. Running a hand through his hair, Sukuna's eyes looked over the surrounding crowd and then at Gojo.

"Lots of people here," He mumbled suddenly, making Gojo tilt his head as if Sukuna was asking a dumb question.

"Of course there's lots of people here. I made a party for people to unwind from all the studying and tests!"

There was a sigh from Sukuna and a look that told you that he'd rather be studying than blowing his mind out with booze. You sent a small smile his way; seeing him actually worry about studies was a whole side to him you never wondered about before. You poked Sukuna's arm, announcing that you were going to go make yourself a drink, and wandered off to find the kitchen.

After a few minutes, you managed to find the kitchen and got a small beer from the fridge. You were against drinking hardcore things like vodka or scotch, so drinking some beers wouldn't matter to you. You've never done drinking like Getou did, and you didn't plan to in the future.

While sitting in the kitchen and sipping your beer, your eyes made your way over to Sukuna, who was being felt by some girls. They looked dizzy and drunk, and Sukuna appeared to be less than comfortable around them. A scowl was permanently planted on his face as he entertained the clusty college girls.

You giggled at the sight, seeing him fumble as some girls continued to bombard him with questions and coos. He's so cute.

At the thought, you froze, staring down at your drink.

You wanted to give up on Sukuna, but lingering thoughts and feelings like that always managed to get in the way. Simply seeing him worry about made you smile, and laugh. No matter what, you didn't want them to resurface and force their way into your decisions.

After all that you had done to him, you were surprised that he allowed you to be so close.

Having said that, you don't even know how close Sukuna considered you.

"Oi, what's with that sad look?" A voice snapped you back to the present, making you flinch and look back at whomever held it. "You're at Gojo's house for a party, you must be having a good time."

The voice belonged to Megumi Fushiguro, a friend since the day you moved into the girls' dorm with Shoko. His eyes seemed to glow like his fathers, and his hair was just as dark. The outfit he chose was just a big, long sleeved grey shirt with some jeans. And, like always, his hair was a mess.

"That's funny coming from you, 'Gumi," You teased as Megumi rested his forearms on the counter's edge. "Why're you here?"

"Ah, that question again," He mumbled, sighing and shaking his head. "When I say I'm here to make sure Gojo doesn't choke on his own vomit, people usually laugh."

And you did like many others, a light chuckle that spiraled out of control. But eventually, you got scolded by your friend and continued to drink your beer until it was finished. Debating whether or not to get another, Sukuna had managed to make his way over to you and Megumi.

"Ah, Fushiguro," Sukuna said, sending a small smile towards him. "How's the babysitting gig going?"

"Tell me about it."

Sukuna chatted with Megumi for a short while before grabbing himself one of the bottles of liquor and downing a glass, making your eyebrows raise in shock. "You drink?"

"Just a little, when I'm stressed," Sukuna responded, swirling the drink down and nudging shoulders with you. Another friendly touch that made you blush, and Sukuna definitely caught it. "Don't worry, I won't become some himbo. I'll be able to drive you home later."

You hum with disbelief, scanning Sukuna and looking him over as he continued to drink and chat with Megumi. After a while, you made your way up the stairs and to the room that Gojo said your roommate and Getou were in. Like previously said, you could smell the weed that was being burned inside the room just by being outside the door.

Once you opened the door and saw the duo camped out on the large bed that sat in the middle of the room, you rolled your eyes and walked over to see if they were still breathing.

"Y/n," Getou's voice was rough and deep, and you quickly realised why Shoko and him were blow buddies. "When did you get here? Wanna join us?"

"Nah I'm good, I came to check on you," You responded, watching Getou's smile turn into a cute pout. "Making sure you're not choking on your drool."

"Don't be like that, Y/n," Shoko whined from her spot on the bed, waving a ringed finger at you. In return, you patted both of their heads and told them to give you a call if they needed anything.

While they continued to get baked, you left the room and fanned the air around you to try and make the smell go away. Joking to yourself, you worried that you might've gotten a contact high. As you made your way to the bathroom to relieve yourself, Sukuna meanwhile was still talking to Megumi.

But things were a little different after a few drinks of alcohol.

Things had derailed from school and work to girls and relationships the more the pink haired male drank, and even the setting changed for them. They had gone from the kitchen, to the living room, to the porch in the backyard. Sitting side by side on the grass of the yard, eyes trained on the stars above them, they continued to chat.

"...So you're telling me this is what you're worrying about?" Megumi asked, his genuine curiosity making him want to know more. He'd never wondered about this kind of thing before, seeing as he has no real need for a relationship at his young age.

"Mhm. It's annoying," Sukuna sighed, eyes closing as he thought about all the events for the last month and a half. Seeing you almost everyday each week, despite how much he didn't want those old feelings to find their way back into his heart. "I just don't want to go through it all again."

Megumi hummed in response, turning his attention from the stars to Sukuna, hands clasped together on his stomach. His bright eyes trying to look for something to say, something to comfort. He was never that good at comforting, despite how much of a bubbly person Gojo was underneath the seriousness and how much time he spent around the older classmen.

"If you really don't want to do it again, just tell her."

. . .

You found your way into the living room again after a while, a few beers in and watching the lingering party-goers dancing around like no one was watching. You had a few conversations with some of the boys and girls, them all really trying to relax before midterms and finals. The other half of those conversations were about numbers, and booty calls gone wrong.

While you sympathised with the relaxers, the booty calls made you laugh awkwardly. Why would I need to know this?

"Y/n."

Turning your attention to the person behind you, seeing Gojo hanging from Getou's shoulder, hiccuping. Getou looked like he was recovering from his high as he held up Gojo and pointed towards the backyard.

"You need to.. hicc- Get Sukuna home. He looks like he's gonna- hicc- be sick."

"Oh, sure," You nod, standing and saying goodbye to the person you were just conversing with. "I'll see you guys later, okay?"

Getou waved and headed upstairs to get Gojo into bed, he looked like he was on his last leg too, stumbling after the raven-haired man. You watched them walk up the stairs to make sure they were okay before heading out to the backyard, catching the sight of Sukuna and Megumi laying on the grass and looking up at the sky.

Although they looked peaceful, you could tell Sukuna wasn't having that good of a time. Even if he was talking to a friend from one of his other classes, he still looked a little sick. With a sigh, you opened the screen door and made your way over. Megumi reacted immediately and sent a wave your way, and you returned with a head nod and looked down at Sukuna.

His eyes were heavily lidded, and he looked like a tired mess. His breathing was slow and deep, like he had fallen asleep with his eyes half opened. Megumi sat up quickly and told you that he drank a little too much and that taking home would be the best option.

"Heh, that's what Getou asked me to do," You announce, looking back down at the pink haired man and kneeling next to him. "You hear that down there? We gotta get you back to your dorm."

"..Y/n.." Sukuna mumbled in return, reaching a hand up to your cheek. "When did you get here?"

You smile at the touch, holding his hand to your cheek before standing and making your way around him. Leaning down to grab ahold of his hands and pull him to his feet, and it wasn't an easy task either. He weighed more than you thanks to all the muscle he built, and Megumi offered to help get him to his truck.

"I'll take one side and his drink," He said, slipping his arm around Sukuna's waist, joining yours and starting to lead him around the home.

While you and Megumi stumbled with Sukuna in your arms, you eventually managed to get to the truck and pop open the passengers side. After struggling for what seemed like forever, you got Sukuna buckled and in and leaning against the window (just in case he decided that the drinks he had wouldn't stay down).

"I'll see ya later at class, Ryomen," Megumi said, giving the window a pat and Sukuna grumbling a small yes in response. Megumi then looked at you, handing you the keys to the vehicle and giving a nod.

"Make sure he gets a good meal tomorrow morning, okay? That hangover will get on his last nerve."

You laughed and gave Megumi a pat on the shoulder. "Of course I will."

You parted ways at the curb and you climbed into the drivers side of Sukuna's truck. Turning on the engine and making sure to put the AC on for him and backing out of the parking space. Sukuna's head lolled against the window, groaning about his stomach and head, making you giggle and pat his leg.

"You'll be fine once you're at your dorm," You said, turning onto the main road as Sukuna huffed. "I'll get you in the shower, get some fresh clothes on you, and get you to bed. How's that sound?"

"Sounds like you wanna see me naked," Sukuna said flatly, making your brain go into overdrive over a response to say. It took a solid minute before it registered what you had said and your cheeks began to heat up at the confrontation.

"Am I right? You're getting quiet, and red."

It shouldn't be this hot to hear him drunk! You scream at yourself in your head, rubbing your cheek as you start to drive back to campus. Quickly, you tried to make up an excuse for the blooming colors in your cheeks and explain that you won't actually undress him.

"Ah," He mumbled eventually, his hazy marron eyes still dizzy and unbelieving. "Thought you'd try making a move since I'm not myself."

You grimace at the thought. "I'm not that low to try and sleep with you in this state."

The mention of doing something so intimate at the beginning of your relationship with an old friend made you flustered. Maybe your feelings for him haven't died out, and just maybe you wanted to be with him still, but he wasn't in the right mindset to ponder on something like that. You hadn't even begun to rekindle your friendship with this man, and he already assumed you wanted to sleep with him. Letting out distasteful sigh, you turn into the college parking lot and turn off the ignition, turning your attention to Sukuna.

"I'm not sleeping with you," You said outright, making his eyes glimmer. "We're barely friends. I'm honestly happy that I'm getting so much time to be around you."

This made Sukuna's brow raise and a smirk play his lips. He looked like he had won some kind of a fight, minus the bloody nose and busted lip. "So, you still like me?"

The question stung your heart, how could you say no?

"..Yeah," You sigh after a while, chewing on the inside of your cheek. Pulling the keys from under the steering wheel, you unbuckled and shook your head. "But it's not like you want anything to do with me, right?"

"And who said that?"

"You did, remem—??"

Something soft pressed against your lips, your brain not taking in the fact that it was Sukuna. Not taking in that Sukuna's hands had gotten ahold of your chin and tilted your head up to make the kiss. It took way too long for you to react, and by the time you were a blushing and muffled mess, Sukuna's hand was cupping your jaw in a drunken hold. Your heart was practically in your throat once you understood.

Almost in a panicked state, your body started to shiver uncontrollably. You didn't know what to do, how to react; all you did was sit in your seat and stare wide eyed at Sukuna's closed ones before he pulled away. A faint pop sound echoed in your head once he had released your bottom lip.

"You're mine. Got it?"

"S-Sukuna, stop it," You whimper once you catch your breath, grabbing his hand and pulling away from him. His eyes darken at this, and you were positive that a vein was bursting in his neck. "You're drunk, and tired. You need to get to bed."

He didn't respond for a while, making you wonder what else to say to coax him out of the truck before he nodded and exited himself. Sukuna's footing was messy for a moment before you joined him and held him by the waist. Guiding him to his dorm and making your way up the stairs. Once in the hallway, you noticed that some of Sukuna's neighbors were still up and playing games.

You understood the appeal, but it was almost 1 in the morning by the time you got to the dorms.

Get some sleep ya'll.

Finding Sukuna's dorm was an easy feat, seeing as you visited at least once a week for lessons. You found his key and unlocked the small home, pulling Sukuna inside and resting him on the couch. As you were leaving, Sukuna grabbed your wrist and pulled you back into his lap, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck and mumbling something you couldn't hear.

"Sukuna, I'm going to get you clothes," You said, petting his head as your heart continued to swell. "Please, let me go."

He released you after another moment, his face hidden in a dark shadow as you made your way into the bedroom. Finding him a pair of sweats and a tank top to change into, you started the water in the bathroom. Checking the temperature to make sure that it wasn't too cold but not too hot before making your way into the living room, only to be stopped by Sukuna's figure in the doorway.

"Ah— Sukuna, you scared me," You mumbled, looking up at him and seeing the annoyance in his eyes. "I got your clothes and shower ready."

"Stay put." He grunted, making you tilt your head. "Stay tonight."

You bite your lip at Sukuna's offer, not knowing what to say other than to tell him to bathe and you'll think about it. It seemed to lighten his mood a little, but his face was still unreadable as he made his way into the bathroom and began undressing.

(You had to closed the door for him before he got his shirt off, thankfully.)

As promised, you sat down on his bed and started to think about it. You always did like Sukuna's couch, it was comfier than your bed. And the blankets Sukuna owned were really soft now that you got a proper feel for them. Patting the cushiony comforter underneath you, you gave a small smile before it was washed away.

Remembering what happened in the car made your heart race, as you pressed a finger to your lips. It wasn't your first, but the second kiss that Sukuna had taken from you.

Why did he do that? It wasn't because of your feelings. He's not the type to just do something for the sake of making you of all people happy. In the beginning he told you he wanted nothing to do with you..

After contemplating what to do, you decided it was best not to worry about it. It was probably a fluke. You told yourself.

Shaking your head and slapping your cheeks, you took a breath and went off to Sukuna's kitchen to grab some water. Taking a sip from the bottle before making your way into the bedroom once again, the sound of the shower turning off makes you stop in your tracks at what to do.

Should you stay in the room? You left the clothes and briefs in the shower. Waiting would be weird though, even after everything.

You couldn't think as Sukuna opened the bathroom door and poked his head out, managing to find you in the hallway and grumbling.

"You didn't leave me a towel."

Choosing life over death, you made sure to look at the wall so you didn't catch a glimpse of whatever it may be hiding. "Ah, sorry! Must've forgotten it in the moment!"

Don't look! Don't look! Don't look!

You managed to find the man, getting water all over his carpet, a towel and handing it to him quickly. Sukuna stared at you for a moment, wondering why you were acting so strange over him in clothes, but he shrugged it off and went back into the bathroom to dry his hair. He heard you exhale and then his bed creak, making a small smile appear on his face over it.

After a few minutes of drying it, Sukuna let his hair hang loose and decided it'd be weird to style it for bed.

"Finished," He said once he exited the bathroom for a second time, looking over to see you seated on his bed like he thought.

"I'll stay tonight," You say, making him do a double take before humming. "Just tonight though, and I'll sleep on the couch."

That annoyed him. "No, I've got a bed that works just fine."

You sent a glare his way that was returned before you sighed and stood. "I'll be on the couch."

He watched you take a few steps towards the hallway before picking you up by the waist and hauling you over to his bed. Your small yelps and little kicks made his chuckle, remembering about the first time he had picked you up when you were little.

Though the nostalgia didn't last long once he got you under the blankets with him rested next to you. Your pout was just as cute as when you were little, the puffy lip and the teary eyes unchanged and unfazed by his antics.

"Are you teasing me?" You asked, catching Sukuna off guard. "Is this cuz I told you I still like you?"

It took a moment for him to answer, before he shook his head and leaned down, pressing a small peck to your cheek. "Yes. But I'm also drunk."

"You got that right."

Sukuna chuckled at this, laying his head down onto his pillow, pulling you close by the hip so you could share. His warm and minty breath fanned your shoulder every once in a while as his breathing got deeper and deeper, more relaxed and calm. Once you were positive he was asleep, you closed your eyes and followed suit.

Whatever your hearts had in store, you were certain that this moment wasn't going to be talked about easily.

. . .

a/n: i wanted to get some touchy stuff to happen seeing as it's already the 6th chapter lol, so let's hope sukuna's gonna start being more touchy!! 👀 I hope that the next chapter will be just as good as this one! 🤭 Also, i decided last minute to just make Shoko Y/n's roomie since I didn't want to create any other characters lol. So ig that means Getou and Shoko are fuck buddies until further notice!

Chapter Song Theme:

— Saweetie & GALXARA - Sway With Me (Lyrics)

taglist: @mageyboo, @mzladyd , @mysticwonderlandangel, @sukunaspersonalfleshlight, @kawaiipenguin20, @k-indie, @okkotsufav, @cafeinthemoon93, @pulchritxde, @bontenbunny, @deepinballs, @kleeboomed, @fallenfeversstuff, @fiierytearzx, @wo-ming-bai, @ririkaxbz, @instantgalaxysheep, @watyousayin, @z3r0art, @sukunaobsessed, @lik0, @sukunasfirstlove, @princesstiti14, @nemoyr, @ladywolf44005, @cat-mak20, @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn, @hxlalokidottir, @instantgalaxysheep, @domainofmarie, @the-moongoddess, @dark-n-dirty-duchess, @agentdedf1sh, @sukunastoy, @lyn-soso, @bao-yu-sarah-morningstar-wang-9, @heyitstacy, @lost-in-tokyo, @chaoticqueen33

last chapter || next chapter

#Valentino Fanfiction #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk smut #jujustu kaisen #jujutsu #anime #sukuna #ryomen sukuna #sukuna jjk #sukuna ryomen #sukuna x reader #ryoumen sukuna #sukuna icons #sukuna ryomen x female reader #sukuna ryomen x female reader smut #sukuna scenarios #sukuna ryoumen x reader #sukuna x itadori #megumi fushiguro #sukuna jujutsu kaisen #fushiguro megumi #itadori yuuji

[pervysenpaix]

Hurts Good - om! x blackreader

A/N: Hi Friends, I got a request but all of my asks were deleted when I was clearing out my drafts. So, if you're the anon that requested our fav twin breeding us while we're menstruating - THANK YOU ❤ <- this has literally been in my drafts for 3 months so I’m terribly sorry; also please miss me with the squeamish comments i literally dgaf , if you ain’t nasty then why are you here ? 🤨 also not proofread cause we die like men 🤧

Synopsis : Our kind boyfriend Beelzebub hates when we have our period, so he came up with a solution!

Warning: Period Sex , Oral (F!Receiving), Somnophillia, Himbo!Beel , no dialogue cause I’m feeling lazy and I literally picked this up after months of sitting.

For Beelzebub, life in Devildom used to be so simple. A constant cycle of eating, lifting and more eating. This was still true when you came along. He was actually eating and lifting you most of the time. Things were so perfect and he couldn’t be happier. The only downside to your relationship was him having to witness you curled into a ball and sobbing once a month because you were in so much pain. He wished he could take your period away, even said as much to his twin who got a mischievous glint in his eye.

Okay, he had to admit he was a little nervous when Belphegor planted the idea in his head. Not that he was turned off—hell no. There isn’t a thing in all the realms that could lower Beelzebub need for you. It’s just … he was scared to hurt you ☹️

You see, even though he’s a sweet boi he can be kind of rough in the bedroom and knowing that you’re already in pain, he didn’t want to add too it. But, his brother convinced him—even took him to Satan who confirmed that orgasms helped with period pain but scurried out of the blonde demon’s room when he asked for more context.

Now here he is—standing at the foot of your bed while you toss and turn in the sheets, clutching the little lamb plushie to your tummy for some comfort. Beel can’t take it anymore. There’s no way he can stand by and let this keep happening if he knows that there’s a way to stop it.

A soft moan startled you awake accompanied by a tingling in your abdomen and a tightening of your core. Bleary eyes opened revealing the hulking form of Beelzebub with his face and fingers buried in your bloody cunt.

The rusty crimson shade painted his cheeks and chin, it mixed with the slick pouring from your weeping hole dripping onto the sheets in a glorious mess. Your pussy spasmed and clenched around the two fingers that were curling deliciously in your core while he sucked on your clit. Exactly how long he’d been eating you is unknown but his bruised lips and bare member—cherry red and leaking pre—suggested that it’s been a while.

The redhead licked you through your orgasm, enjoying the way your body writhed for him. He could see that you were in embarrassed, it was apparent in the way you looked away and chewed your lip but he knew that you were feeling good by the way your fingers pulled at his hair.

The giant man rose slowly, wiping his mouth of his arm before sloppily pressing your lips together. A lustful kiss that tasted of copper, and slick. Your cunt ached for him, lifting your hips to run your sloppy little pussy on his dick. Beelzebub growled, big tongue lolling out of his mouth to trace over your pulse while he pushed himself inside you.

He filled you so well—stretching you out to the point of paint but it was so intermixed with pleasure that you didn’t mind. He praised you so sweetly—saying that you took him so well and would be the prettiest momma. When your eyes widened he smiled sweetly and kissed your cheek.

“M’gonna fuck you full of my babies, that way you won’t get a period no more”

@kind-himbo-beel literally just thought of you when I finished writing and thought you might wanna take a look at this 🧡

@xogabbiexo & @bookwormsenpai come get your man he’s being nasty again.

@trashybandit think you like obey me so here’s some filth

#om smut #om beelzebub #om! smut #om! x reader #om! beelzebub #obey me smut #obey me x blackreader #om! x blackreader #beelzebub x blackreader #beelzebub x y/n #obey me beelezebub #obey me beel smut #obey me beel x mc #obey me Beel x blackreader #om x blackreader

[thorniest-rose]

i read that sweet fic you recommended that's got steve and robin switching pronoun pins and it was ugh so good. so sweet, so gentle. eddie is a dumbie and i love that.

also love that you - queen of the intense dark sex, bloody sensuality, and of service mouth steve - recommended it. true range right there

Oh my gosh wasn't it so lovely??? You should read their other fic too, where Steve makes Eddie's lunch and leaves little love notes for him, it made me so soft and made me cry 😭

Honestly I loved it so much!! I think it's a misconception about me that because I write such dark fic that it's all I want to read but it's not true, I want sweet and soft fics too!! I like having both, it's like sweet and salty, you never just want one all the time, you want a combination, you want the contrast. Like I wish there was a lot more dark fic but I also love a sweet and romantic T-rated fic. Like I'll either be haunted by the most disturbing dead dove fic or I'll be sighing dreamily over a sweet and whimsical little romance... it's about the layers 😌😤💖

I think this writer is especially lovely because of how they write Steve. He's so soft and kind, so beautiful, but also this alluring mix of masculine and feminine. Like he'll kick your ass but he also bakes and makes the kids' lunches and wears glasses and big cardigans and!!!! It's like oh my god, a writer who gets how beautiful and nuanced Steve Harrington is!!! Who doesn't just write him as a big sexy himbo! Their fics are so refreshing and their depiction of Steve is one of my favourites in such a long time. He's gentle, he's thoughtful, he's sassy and sweet, he's tanned and strong, he's vulnerable and delicate...

Ugh he's just gorgeous and this writer's fics and portrayals of him are gorgeous too!! I want to write love letters for their fics, like it's rare for me to be so moved by someone's depiction of Steve but this presses all my buttons, like that's my baby!!! And I just love finding another writer who recognises his sensitivity and beauty and writes it too.

So yes I'm a big fan of this writer now and they're fuelling my soft and melancholy depiction of omega Steve in my new fic!!

#asks

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

OBEY 👹 ME!

👑Diavolo ➳

Himbo Appreciation Post 📷

Sit In (os) ♂️ 💞

The Throne Is Where I Sit (os) ⚧ 💞

Ballroom Dancing in the Moonlight

The Turning

Birthed into Demonhood

...

☕Barbatos ➳

In Your Care (os) ⚧ 💞

Barbie Toes 💩

Your Obedient Servent

Spick and Span; Clear as Crystal

Dressed to Impress

Sleek Silhouette in the Window

...

⚜Mephistopheles

...

🦚Lucifer ➳

With a Flirty Reader (hc) ♂️ 💞 🧀

Wednesday Addams-Like Reader (hc) ⚧

Breakfast in Bed~ (os) ♂️ 💞

Cerbi's Pet Sitter (os) ⚧ 💞

To Meet the Expectation

And When You've Fallen down...

Bloodied Wings and Blackened Feathers

...

💰Mammon ➳

With a Flirty Reader (hc) ♂️ 💞 🧀

Good Boy

Wednesday Addams-Like Reader (hc) ⚧

The Boy Is Mine!

All That Glitters isn't Gold

Life is Always Give and Take

I'll Turn Your Life to Gold

...

🎮Leviathan ➳

With a Past Cheat Reader (hc) ⚧ 💔?

With a Flirty Reader (hc) ♂️ 💞 🧀

Wednesday Addams-Like Reader (hc) ⚧

Ready Player 2?

Huge Akuzon Merch Haul Unboxing!

I'm Your Biggest Fan, LeviaChan!

How He Found Himself a Cheerleader

...

📚Satan ➳

With a Flirty Reader (hc) ♂️ 💞 🧀

Wednesday Addams-Like Reader (hc) ⚧

'Till You Pop

Read Me to Sleep, My Dear

Angry too

Breath in and Breath out

...

💖Asmodeus ➳

With a Flirty Reader (hc) ♂️ 💞 🧀

Wednesday Addams-Like Reader (hc) ⚧

Pomegranate Seeds

In the Eyes of the Beholders

Beautiful Boy All Dolled Up in Blue

The True Kind of Love

...

🍔Beelzebub ➳

Himbo Appreciation Post 📷

With a Flirty Reader (hc) ♂️ 💞 🧀

Wednesday Addams-Like Reader (hc) ⚧

The Way to the Heart is Through His Stomach

A Hunger That Can't Be Satiated

An Absolutely Ravenous Beast

Someone So Pure of Heart

...

🔭Belphegor ➳

With a Flirty Reader (hc) ♂️ 💞 🧀

Wednesday Addams-Like Reader (hc) ⚧

Why Don't We Go Somewhere Only We Know

Lay With Me Under the Stars

Will You Dream a Little Dream of Me?

While You Count Sheep

...

🔮Solomon ➳

Magic Blacksmith Reader (hc) ♂️

Enchanting

I Put a Spell on You and Now Your Mine

Love Like Black Magic

It's Written in the Stars, My Love

🦢Simeon ➳

His Imminent Corruption (os) ⚧ ❣

Deflowered Purity

Those Feathers of White; all Over the Floor

Like He Was Locked Out of Heaven

...

🐣Luke ➳

Angel's Food Cake, Fresh From the Oven

This Son of Mine; So Pure, So Kind

...

🕊Raphael ➳

...

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•

Back to the Masterlist Hub?

#masterlist #masterpost #male reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader #obey me #obey me! one master to rule them all #obey me masterlist #om #om! #om masterlist #om! masterlist #obey me x gn reader #obey me x gn!reader #obey me x male reader #obey me x gender neutral reader #obey me x reader #om x reader #om x male reader #om x gn reader #om x gender neutral reader #om! x reader #om! x male reader #om! x gn reader #om! x gender neutral reader

[thesschesthair]

Things I Ioved/hated about the final Ted Lasso episode.

Loved:

Rebecca's plea to Ted - I felt her desperation at losing her friend. Their scenes were incredibly heartfelt and she absolutely KILLED IT! The impact he'd had on her and vice versa... it hit hard and was truly beautiful.

Nathan's apology - while I still don't like what he became, his apology to Ted was raw and real... I can't deny that. He was really hurting and really regretted what he'd done.

Roy & Jamie's friendship - these lads give me life. I love them.

Roy becoming manager - Yes. Just- Yes.

Sassy - I just love her... and her brutal slagging off of Rupert.

Ted leaving - Obviously it broke my heart to see him go, but I loved that despite how loved and needed he was, how he'd built this newfound family.... he stuck to his guns for his son. His heart wanted to go home to his boy, and while it probably tore him apart to leave, he didn't falter. I bloody miss him already, but seeing his son's reaction to him coming home? It's clear why Ted couldn't stay. He's a father first and an amazing coach second.

Trent losing his shit in the crowd - About fucking time! Trent, you're a fucking LEGEND!!! That was glorious to see.

Dr Sharon - Yaaay!!! She got sucked in and I loved seeing her cheering the boys on :D I was so glad to see her.

Colin kissing his man - YES. Fuck what people might think. Your team loves and accepts you, you love and accept you, so grab that smooch of your guy and celebrate!! No more having to hide.

Hated:

The song & dance - I'm sorry but I feel like the 'himbo' jokey side of the squad became a bit too cartoony. It felt like an episode of Glee and dumbed the players down, personally.

Roy & Jamie - the whole fighting over Keeley thing was unnecessary. Yes, they both love her in their own way, but these two have come so far in their own ways to suddenly revert to that. Jamie has grown tremendously, and Roy was the responsible adult who didn't play childish games in the beginning.... that whole plot felt like it was regressing both men purely for comic relief. I really wasn't a fan.

Nathan - I just can't forgive him that easily. I respect and love the team for being able to move past it and welcome him back into the fold... but the nastiness this guy showed to those who built him up and made him someone, all because of jealousy & daddy issues.... I can't trust him, even if his apology was true and heartfelt. I just can't. He crossed a line with me I can't forgive so easily.

I'm sure there's other moments I loved/hated that i've missed, but those are the ones I remember.

Overall, i'm really sad to see the show come to a close, but am forever thankful to this wonderful series for bringing me some amazing characters I got to love.

It ended on a good note with enough doors left ajar if they ever want to explore or reprise later on, I guess? But i'm not expecting that.

Farewell, Richmond.

Greyhounds for life.

#ted lasso spoilers #just my thoughts #I'm sad to say goodbye #but blessed to have had it while it was here

[nocompromise-noregrets]

Choosing violence: 1, 12, 17!

Ooooh. *cracks knuckles*

1 the character everyone gets wrong okay so I banged on about Thranduil earlier, but how about Legolas? He's not some dumb hick idiot without a thought in his head! He's older than all the rest of the Fellowship put together (except Gandalf), he thinks and feels very deeply but he's still lighthearted, even though he comes from a place that has had the literal devil on the doorstep, and I absolutely bloody adore him. I think it probably doesn't help that Orlando Bloom (who I love and adore) doesn't have a single thought between his ears a lot of the time (I think we didn't notice until they cast Lee Pace as his dad, and Lee's general superior acting ability and emotional depth suddenly threw lovely Orlando's slight lack thereof into sharp relief XD) but Legolas is NOT A HIMBO THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them oooh this is a tough one because I generally don't pay any attention to who's popular or not, I just like who I like. I dunno. Who's unpopular? I guess the 'traditional' fandom didn't like Tauriel, because she's a woman, and original, but I bloody love her. She's sharp and brave and so curious about the outside world and so steadfast and true, so warm and loving and so ready to love. I absolutely adore her.

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art More Legolas/Imrahil! But also more LotR in general. It just feels like everyone gets into LotR via the movies, reads the Silm and instantly gets massively into that and ignores LotR/the Hobbit from then on. I do have a feeling that LotR and the Hobbit are looked down upon because people can get into them via the movies and not 'make the effort' to read the books, and it really does my head in because they're just as worthy of love, films or books, and just because the Silm is difficult to read doesn't mean that people who *have* read it need to be snobbish about those of us who haven't. I dunno, maybe I'm just perceiving it as that and it's not actually the case, but it does really feel like we're looked down on. I don't really care about the Fëanorians, tbqh, I'd rather be flailing about the Rohirrim and Dol Amroth and the Rangers and the Shire and Rivendell and the Woodland Realm, thank you very much. I'm so looking forward to LotR Ladies Week because the wider legendarium is specifically excluded. Which reminds me, anyone want to prompt me for the LotR Ladies?!

Ohhhhkay. That's enough of that for now. Thank you so much for asking, I feel so much better for that! XD Anyone else want to make me choose violence, the questions are here!

#ask game #go on #ask me stuff!

[i-cant-sing]

A stupid dumby dumb dumb AU that I like to think about

Mystery Solver au

So basically (Y/N) is apart of a mystery solving team (kinda like Scooby Doo because I can’t grow up). It could be a group of teens who are in it for the thrill or a group of adults who literally have nothing better to do. They make videos of their investigations for all the world to see and even accept anonymous tips about supposedly haunted houses or abandoned hospitals.

One day, (Y/N)’s team gets an anonymous tip about a haunted house/mansion/castle and they go without even looking up the place to see if it’s true.

So they get to the place and lo and behold it’s a fucking trap set by a yandere who has stalked (Y/N) through the videos

That’s all I got for you 🤷‍♀️

Hmm, now the most obvious route for this would be that the yandere is someone like Jason Voorhees, or Michael Myers, or even scar face.

But what I wanna see is some sort of poltergeist or monster who has been lonely for hundreds of years and is so fed up of loneliness that they just invite the most famous hunters on YT over to their place for some fun.

Now when reader and her team gets to the place, they all immediately know something is very wrong with this place and can get mega spooky vibes. Except reader. No, reader is a huge skeptic, and since she's been on a gazillion hunts, most of which turned out to be nothing, she's super brave, 100% believes that supernatural beings don't exist and it's just a bunch of people fucking around for money.

So even when there's like weird noises coming around from this huge place, how her team members seem to get lost one by one, how she hears someone screaming bloody murder every night she spends there, she's still convinced that it's just someone messing around.

Finally, the poltergeist/ghost/monster has enough of it and finally reveals himself, only for reader to laugh in his face and tell him, "Oh nice make up." And poltergeist is like.... so confused?? Like why isn't this tiny human scared of him?

But he doesn't get to ponder longer as reader lunges at him and punches him square in the face, telling him that's for throwing the heavy ass book at her head. But he isn't listening to you, no, not when all he can focus on is that you are... touching him. Physically.

He didn't even think that was possible anymore! Usually people either turn to dust or pass right through him when they try to touch him. But now?? Homeboy is ADDICTED to your touch.

Your skin is so soft, he just wanna kiss it all over (maybe even take a small chomp, if you don't mind). He wants to trap you in his arms, and hold you forever- SNUGGLES FOREVER!

The poltergeist becomes yandere for you, believing that you two are clearly soulmates. He's just thinking about all the lovet dovey stuff he's gonna get to do with you 💕

And now reader pulls him out of his thoughts by pulling him along and telling him to help him find her friends, who seem to be lost in this big ass property or she's gonna beat him up.

And no matter how much he tries to tell her that baby, I'm a supernatural being who just killed all of your friends. What, you don't believe I'm a monster? Oh that's so sweet of you, but no really, look I can make that bookshelf float. Spooky, no?" But reader will come up with literally any excuse, saying that "ooh, nice hologram. Perfect timing, but you can tell your buddies to stop. I ain't falling for it😤"

And like, it's just making him fall for you even more. You don't even realise how many days it has passed since you last saw your friends, but eventually, you think that maybe they left without you, playing some sort of joke on you, so you're telling your heart eyed (kinda hot) poltergeist friend that it's time for you to leave.

And hes like "No❤🥰"

So when he drags you back inside the haunted house, you're like "Man, fuck. I'm being kidnapped by a psychopath." No, sweetie, you're being kidnapped by a (maybe himbo) monster who is super in love with you. Have fun💕

Himbo yandere monster x reader OR WAIT IT COULD BE SMART YANDERE MONSTER X HIMBO READER

#mystery solver au

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

i know most of us have established that infinite has -3 responsible brain cells and shadow has -5, but let's make something else clear: espio and wave are ALSO fucking idiots. let's look closer:

wave is the voice of reason for the rogues and a canonical genius, but the bar is on the floor when compared to a himbo and a 14 year old twink. girlie has no social skills, no impulse control (blowing up a 15 year old after being instructed not to) and also got decked by a robot (probably concussed) before proceeding to fly a fucking flying skateboard into a black hole. NEED I REMIND YOU THAT UNLIKE THE MAIN SONIC CAST, THE BABYLON ROGUES AREN'T SUPERPOWERED, THE LACK OF CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS ARE OUTSTANDING BECAUSE OF THEIR FUCKING EGOS!!!

same can be said for espio, who many forget is obnoxiously arrogant and more full of himself than shadow. the sass? the wit??? i don't just mean archie and x, generations literally has him being cocky too.

IN CONCLUSION:

if you made espio, wave, shadow, and infinite go grocery shopping, they would be banned and you would need to bail them out of prison.

- espio would constantly talk about his budget and how he can't pay for everyone's expensive stuff but he'll do his best, being all sympathetic and bashful KNOWING THAT 2 OF THE PEOPLE HERE ARE FUCKING LOADED LIKE BEZOS AND THE THIRD IS A FREELOADER, so we know that chameleon is sneaking the most expensive shit in that cart and making up stuff on "vector's list" that are very clearly not on his list but espio doesn't give a shit because he thinks he's dealing with idiots (which is true, but they're all on a level playing field)

- infinite is blackmailing espio into pushing him around in the cart really fast because he knows a gold digger manipulation tactic like shadow's CVV numbers, aka burned into his brain which takes up all the storage besides lyrics to musicals. he's also loading up the cart and shadow insists that he is contained in it with all the groceries because otherwise he's a) shoplifting b) hitting on everyone in the store that is old enough to be legal. wave distracts shadow so he can still do this though like the queen she is. infinite also has a bad grocery store game called "how many items can i remove/add without someone noticing" which explains the even more random purchases and missing items that shadow SWORE he put there.

- shadow... does not need to eat food. he also denies having memory issues and tells rouge "i know EXACTLY what we need, don't send me a list. worse case scenario i put together a reasonable amount of groceries that will ensure we have edible meals" so this motherfucker has no clue what he's supposed to buy, just that there are 2 freeloaders fucking up his "mental list" (there is no list or train of thought about groceries, he's thinking about snoop dogg's cookbook and trying not to cry about it). shadow knows he cannot trust wave for what makes a good grocery haul but she's his only hope so they "work together" to shop but... it's hopeless. shadow thinks canned cream cheese frosting and sour cream are the same thing. "salsa is tomato juice for bloody marys, right?" sure thing buddy

- wave? she knows she's the "reliable genius" here but to be honest... she doesn't know how kitchens work... storm does the cooking and meal prep and is a certified nutritionist. wave survives on vodka monster ultras, jalapeño chips in raw cookie dough, and sour candy sandwiches. unless you cut up some fruit and drop the bowl on her head while she's in her workshop, good luck getting that girl vitamins! basically everything she puts in the cart is junk, but there's an occasional "healthy object" like gummy vitamins (no one wants them) or a suspicious amount of limes (moscow mules)

TLDR: don't send these fuckers shopping. even the smart ones are useless when surrounded by other arrogant people because 4 people who think they're the most intelligent group member = disaster and no actual critical thinking skills

#bsc shitposts #bsc canon lore #sonic analysis #infinite the jackal #shadow the hedgehog #wave the swallow #espio the chameleon #the dog and the hog #detectivehog #espave

[queen-calanthe-of-cintra-moved]

the witcher characters rated on their sluttiness

truly nonnie!!! i tend to thirst about the women but all of the men are so gorgeous too!! honestly the casting directors just went off with this series istg. so to celebrate their beauties i, a completely biased observer, am going to rate their sluttiness. you didn’t ask for this and i don’t even know what sluttiness really means, so this is probably the best idea i’ve ever had.

first off, triss merigold. why? because i love her. she loves walking hooded through the woods with no particular purpose just in case she finds a witcher roaming around. loves dramatic entrances and takes herself too seriously. she thinks she’s super tough but the puppy eyes jump out whenever she sees someone she likes. and she likes everyone. sluttiness: 4/10 (adorableness: 10/10)

sabrina glevissig. does it need to be said. sluttiness: 10/10

yennefer of vengerberg. our gorgeous leading lady. baffling. lights up entire rooms when she smiles and destroys with her sweet kiss. don’t call her pretty though or she’ll cut your balls off. do not mess with her or you’ll end up being used as a living torch. sluttiness: i’m too scared to rate

tissaia de vries. she could turn me into one of her eels and i’d be thankful. the simon cowell meets gordon ramsay of the witcher. hobbies include turning around dramatically to prove a point without having to actually verbalise it and sprawling on sofas. sluttiness: 9.99/10

filavandrel. his kingdom includes one elf and a mangoat. pointy ears make him look refined. girls are in love with his hair. a true king of a cover magazine. owns one shawl. sluttiness: 9/10

poker face cahir. occupation: villain (temporary). not a very good one tho. has a very weird and unsettling fight scene with himself involving breathplay that pushes his sluttiness meter up. sluttiness: 6/10

fringilla vigo. a babe. a murderous one. still a babe. pissed and dangerous. her glares do the killing for her. sluttiness: 7/10

the dryads. magnificent. incredible. a vision from heaven. completely inappropriately dressed to live in a forest. use loose sandals to climb up tress and walk over rocks. they are the ultimate badass or masochists, only they know which. sluttiness: 9.7/10

DAMMIT THIS PAIR. THIS BLOODY PAIR. i understand why cintra is the jewel of the north. i’d surrender to them too. let the queen and her himbo husband take over my empire or whatever. gilf power is what they have. sluttiness: 11/10

istredd. THIS man good god. the beard does do him a favour. dammit. the first outfit tho and the super light eyes were creepy af. sluttiness: 7.98/10

goddammit vilgefortz. you weren’t supposed to be pretty you lil shit. mahesh jadu more like majestic jadu if you get my drift. just this picture exudes more sensuality than any of those dior commercials. but please triss don’t call him daddy again or i will start crying. sluttiness: 20/10

don’t get me started on jaskier. what other show could pull off this immortal, slutty, slutty bard that likes to wear his doublets undone for the sake of it with the face of a baby and no refrain whatsoever. sluttiness: 250/10

and of course, our witcher. sluttiness: 12903/10. go geralt

#the witcher shitpost #queen calanthe #tissaia de vries #geralt of rivia #jaskier #yennefer of vengerberg #sabrina glevissig #fringilla vigo #triss merigold #queen eithne #cahir #vilgefortz #filavandrel #eist tuirseach #calanthe #the witcher #*mine #*mine: shitpost #*1k

[angeli-marco-writes]

The Stolen Moments: Chapter 4 - My City Girl

A/N - I do not know Tom or Jake, nor do I claim to: this is a work of fiction. Series masterlist. 9.7k words.

Warnings - talk of absentee parent and homelessness, Tom being a professional himbo, allusions to violence, possibly unhealthy father/daughter relationship? dad's home when they have sex, smut: oral (f rec), protected penetrative sex. 18+

Summary - With your date going swell, you can anticipate what's about to happen next, and it's high time you make those stolen moments become something more, with some small detours along the way that show Tom who you really are.

Programming the restaurant address into her phone, one earbud in to listen to every instruction, she thinks as she walks, her mind wandering away. Part of her focus is set on not twisting her ankle, though, so she’s only half in her head.

It’s safe to say every talk show for the past 20 years has been a trial and tribulation in itself, with weeks worth of basic rehearsals, yet he always somehow manages to go off the rails. He tends to just act like a crackhead, because that way she never gets brought up, despite the fact he’s always thinking about her. Now she’s older and she can go into chat shows with him, it’s becoming even more of a risk. Just thinking of the last time he did an interview and was insistently whispering, “I’ve got sourdough baking!”, that very thing being code for “I have a sleep deprived teenage daughter!” gives Y/N insane anxiety. Being front row in the Graham Norton show when her dad and Tom went on was interesting, too, because he kept looking at her whenever the camera wasn’t on him, widening his eyes by a fraction just to check she was ok at every possible chance. When he told the sickness story, she was taken right back to the days she spent sitting on the cold tiled floor, handing her dad water and antiemetics that never stayed down. Despite that unfortunate temporary ordeal, sailing around Europe and the US with her dad and then going around the world with him on press, it was a dream come true. Tom being there was just a bonus. He kissed her in every city they stopped at, documenting each kiss with a polaroid. At least this’ll be a good talking point for them if she remembers to raise it, to see if he still has those polaroids, if he ever gets them out at night and thinks about her, feeling that empty hole in her chest as he misses her with his whole being.

It was unfortunate for Y/N, when Jake was making The Devil All the Time, because every day that she was on set, it was Tom’s day off, or he was sick, or he had a stand in for back shots where his face wasn’t needed. She understood, she listened, she watched her dad at work doing everything incredible that he did even when he was producing rather than acting. A genius, she’s always seen her dad to be, and she thought that there was no one better to bring his vision to life in that film than Tom. Maybe it was a ploy on her dad's part, a desperate attempt to keep them apart just to save himself so that two relationships aren’t destroyed by two angsty youngsters trying to get together on his watch. He’s always been good, so kind when they were together, when Tom shamelessly flirts with her, that he doubts it’s the case. But it’s a real possibility, and maybe Tom will never make a proper move on her for fear that Jake will break it up. Her mouth dries up at the thought alone.

She just hopes that she doesn’t forget how to work her mouth when around Tom, having only seen him on screen for the past eighteen months. But now, she doesn’t have time to worry, because with converse on his feet, cigarette fit suit trousers and a matching blazer, and a coloured shirt—unbuttoned at the collar—is Tom, rocking on the balls of his feet as he looks all around, his eyes unable to focus on one thing or another while he waits, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

“Hey stranger.”

He startles to attention, practically jumping towards her on the sidewalk.

“H— hey,” he stammers. “Y— you look… bloody hell you look gorgeous.”

“Thanks, you do too.”

He tries to fight off a smile, but with the way his cheek twitches and his eyes nervously avert her poring gaze, he fails. It’s something cute about him, endearing, the way he can switch between his Spider-Man confidence and his Peter anxieties in a split second, like he truly was born for the role. Offering his arm, he prompts her to take it, and she’s led inside.

It’s the sort of place she thought he’d go for, a sleek interior, classy while still remaining hip, mood lighting with an additional golden-white glow from generous offerings of candles, invading the place with a delicate scent of herbs and ginger in compliment of the pasta and pizza smell from deep in the restaurant. Sleek black tables with glistening silver cutlery, grand black couches lining two walls, cushioned chairs sitting across from them on the glossy wooden floor, giving it that homely look. She’s not sure whether the staple piece of the room is the intricate, rustic stone fireplace, or the windows as tall as the ceiling, detailed with swirls and rounded off with delicate drapings of net curtains, billowing. The bar is what sold Tom, though, she’s convinced. A dark wood u-shaped bar with a shiny top and dozens of dark brown leather stools surrounding it with more bottles of alcohol than the eye can see or the brain can comprehend.

“Reservation for two? Dutch?”

She swallows a chuckle, “You used Dutch instead of Holland?”

“Yeah,” he shrugs, wriggling his wry eyebrows, “valuable lesson I picked up, always use a fake name that’s so obvious they’ll never bother to think it’s fake.”

“Whatever you say,” she responds, only to realise that’s exactly what her entire life has been, under a phony fake name that no one will search behind because it’s just too obvious.

“Just over here Sir, Miss,” the waitress says, leading the two of them through to a secluded area at the back of the restaurant, handing them two menus.

“Anything to drink? Wine? Cocktail? If I recall, you did like margaritas quite a lot.”

His thin lips quirk into a smirk as a burning flush claws its way up her cheeks and heats them. That was definitely not her finest moment: Jake, Tom and Jacob practically carrying her through the hotel and into her room.

“There’s alcohol in these?!” she’d exclaimed half way through the night, unsure whether it was hilarious, confusing, or just plain awful. That decision was swiftly made for her when her head was over a toilet bowl ten minutes later. The only time she’s ever touched alcohol, the only time she ever plans to for the rest of her life. It’s where she learnt the tips for a hangover. What worse than learning those from one’s father?

“God, I can’t believe you brought that up,” she murmurs, covering her face with her hands, the heat just radiating from her, “but I’m fine with a coke, thanks, I can’t drink over here.”

“Oh shit you can’t, can you? I hadn’t thought of that, I forget you’re so young.”

“Twenty isn’t young,” she protests, thinning her eyes, scowling playfully.

“Hmm, younger than Harry? Young.”

“Cheeky swine. Still older than the other one.”

He laughs, the sweet sound she got so used to hearing, the one that not even a week ago brought that special light back into her life. If he’d let her record his laugh and set it as her alarm, she’d never get tired of waking up. Dead giveaway to Jake, though. Ok, no more thinking about her dad, she resolves. It’ll make the whole night go a whole lot smoother if she’s not fretting that he’s safe and well, because of course he is.

Tom goes to fetch the drinks, ordering them from the bar, leaning his forearms on the table as he waits. His bum looks incredible, so peachy and toned, she’s seriously fighting an impulse with clenched fists to stop her from going up and grabbing his ass. Luckily for her reputation and sanity, he returns a moment later, and hands her the cold beverage that she instantly sips at.

“How did you come about this place?”

“Oh, Jake recommended it to me.”

Possibly the fastest she’s ever failed a resolution, but there we go.

“I went to see him yesterday, did you know he has a daughter?”

“Haha, nooo, that’s crazy…” she trails off, her palms suddenly clammy. “It’s nice that you saw him, though.”

“He’s such a nice guy, I haven’t seen him since Devil. And he was proper good to you when we were out there filming. I thought you were d—”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” she warns, holding her hand outstretched, then laying it on top of his to ease the blow. “What did you do together?”

“I told him I was going on a date, he didn’t give me advice because I’m probably more successful at love than he is, and we watched a game. Oh, and we talked a lot about filming. Have you seen him recently? Or anyone?”

“No, I haven’t funnily enough, but that’s nice for you.”

He can tell her smile is forced, that’s why he’s drinking his beer so quickly. Already off to a bad start. Thankfully, in no time at all that somehow feels like hours, the waiter arrives and takes their orders, offering them some more talking ground.

“Remember that massive pizza we ordered in Venice?”

“Oh, my God yes! It was enormous.”

“I still don’t know how we managed to eat it all,” he chortles.

“How you ate it all. You lads didn’t let Zendaya or I get a bite in edgeways.”

“Hey, we were doing action shots, we needed the starch.”

“You’re just a man,” she replies, a coaxing joy twinkling in her eye. “I grew up with a single dad and his many friends, I know the difference.”

His eyes grow wide, apparently he’s forgotten that tidbit of information, or less probably, she forgot to mention it, and the most important piece of information about her entire life slipped her mind. Or Jake told her not to mention it as to not give much away, and her boarding school tales took natural precedence over the course of their time spent together.

“I never knew that, what’s it like?”

She shrugs nonchalantly, “Dirty. He never cleans, never does his laundry, never washes up. I mean just last night, he came in late, drunk, and I ended up cleaning God knows how old cups from his room, and clothes. Other than that, it’s great. I love my dad to pieces. He’d kill you, though.”

Tom’s already pale face (he clearly hasn’t been spending the past few months in sunny Italy the way he did when they were together) blanches a shade further. “W— why?”

“He doesn’t really like me dating, he usually likes to meet guys before the first date but I put him off this time, I think he’d rather have me be convicted of murder rather than know I’ve ever done what we were up to those months.”

He giggles. The man genuinely giggles. He sits there, his lips pressed together as the most delightful, playful sound floats in the air around them.

“He can’t talk, he’s had ten girlfriends in the past twenty years. Can’t blame him, single dad, had me the age I am now.”

He exhales steadily, gripping the edge of the table. “Bloody hell. You must be close then, no wonder you’re single.”

Despite how harshly his words could’ve been conveyed, he has a humorous tone, and she throws a fraction of bread at him, bouncing it straight back to her from his purely magnificent biceps.

“In all fairness he did nearly kill my only ex-boyfriend, as you do.”

She doesn’t talk about this, ever. It was just a lawsuit waiting to happen, that only didn’t happen because he realised just how weedy he’d look in court compared to Jake and his army of Harvard-grad lawyers when it could be argued as self defense, or defense of someone else. It involved a vehicle as well, it could easily have been a slip up with the handbrake. He was dangerous, so anything that happened to him would've been basically excusable, considering all evidence would’ve been made inadmissible by Y/N’s meddling to protect her dad. The terrifying thing is that, when she thinks about it, Jake could have a lot of lawsuits if he wasn’t so rich and powerful…

“No mum on the scene, then?” he asks, veering from the obvious subject and discussion of, well, murder. He’s not awkward about it all, not any more awkward than he usually is, which is probably a good thing.

“No, there never has been, but I’ve never wanted one. As you know I did the whole boarding school thing, so mom issues were dealt with there, but he saw me almost every weekend, he was both parents for me.”

“You say he’s young?”

“Yeah, he got her pregnant when he was nineteen.”

“Her? She doesn’t have a name?”

“No, her name isn’t on the birth certificate, and dad never speaks of her.”

“How does that work?”

She decided she didn’t want me too late to get an abortion, Y/N thinks with little disdain and even less sadness, she wanted to put me up for adoption, saying she was too young to cope with me. It’s the reality, her mother didn’t want her, and she was raised by a single father. She was older than Jake though, she had her life sorted, he was just trying to wade through life working while at Ivy League college, he was just a kid. But he wanted Y/N. So he got a notary and lawyers when she didn’t believe he’d take care of her. As soon as she signed those papers, she denied any care, like a surrogate really, and dad got full custody. She wasn’t allowed to search for Y/N until her eighteenth, and if she tried, Y/N neither knows nor cares. She was in Europe with them, filming. She never wanted to find her mother because she never needed a mom, not when she had the world's best dad who's done everything for her his whole life. He was a single parent while gaining a bachelor's degree and earning eighty million dollars through his own grit and hard work. That’s how good a dad he is, and even through that, she was always put first.

“It just… was. My dad had his lawyers deal with it all. Why would I want a parent who didn’t want me? Dad always did and always has, we never even fight. I’m always his priority, which I wouldn’t have been if I had a mom,” she explains, keeping the smile painted on her face.

“He sounds incredible. I’d love to meet him one day,” Tom says, but he actually means it.

“That can be arranged.”

Their food arrives then, heaped plates of pasta with parmesan cheese on top of the tomato and basil sauce. Tom’s pretty eyes go as round as saucers, practically salivating at the sight of it, while Y/N fears she might not actually finish what’s on her plate, not because she’s not hungry, but because she’d much rather be eating something else instead. The thought alone makes her blush, reaching for her glass to cool down for a minute; Tom is already eating, moaning at the food. Rightfully so, it’s damn delicious, and not all that messy, she thanks herself for choosing the right dish.

“Tell me about work. I’d love to hear more.”

She's really glad she asked as well, seeing the way his face lights up, a piece of pasta hanging out the side of his mouth like he’s a labrador. His eyes sparkle, and he speaks whenever his mouth isn’t full, running her through every upcoming project and what he’s just tied up on, even talking about his latest release like it’s his lifeline. Whether he breathes or just inhales whatever air he can while he eats, she’s not sure, but she’s surprised he’s still conscious when he’s done. His joy is contagious, and she finds herself drawn back into his constellation, not wanting to ever leave if he talks so animatedly all the time, so passionately. He’s doing what he was born to do and he’s so happy about it. Then again, actors are children who never grow up. Y/N just isn’t sure she wants to spend her adult life with someone like that. After having it her whole childhood, she knows the way things go. She inherited a lot from her father, his crackhead energy, his kindness, his good looks, but thankfully, she got some brains from somewhere, enough to know not to go headfirst into something if it’s not an attainable or sustainable circumstance. With actors, well...

“I saw that film, your most recent one. I thought you were excellent in it.”

“Y— you did?” he asks, his inflection offering a tone of surprise, cocking his head to the side. “Thank you.”

“No worries, you’re a brilliant actor though, so I wasn’t surprised.”

He looks like a bloody tomato, his cheeks giving off as much heat as his remaining pasta. Thanks to this, conversation flows freely for the rest of their main (which Y/N finishes slowly, too caught up in his words to pay attention to her meal, though it was delicious), and through just eating the chunks of bread and butter they were left, a shared heaped chocolatey dessert (which Tom ate most of), and two more rounds of drinks. Not once do they stall again, or feel the awkwardness. The ice was broken by their memories—the polaroids included, and their activities have scarcely been mentioned, and never with any regret. This is the best first date of Y/N’s life, and she doesn’t want it to be over just yet, but the restaurant is closing soon. A twenty minute walk back to her flat if she walks slowly, longer if she takes him the long way and further avoids his (albeit unlikely) surmising of the whole ordeal, so she makes a proposition.

“I’d love to go clubbing or whatever it is people do after dates, but I can’t. ID issues—”

He cuts in, his brows furrowed, “You’ve never been clubbing? Or on a date?”

“Only in Europe, and no. My ex never did anything nice like this.”

“Baby, that’s so cute and precious.”

The way he calls her ‘baby’ sets the fireworks off in her mind and the blood rushing around in her veins, the butterflies beating rapidly in her stomach. It’s giddiness, desire, appreciation, all rolled into one.

“You can come to mine for a coffee or something? I would say we can walk around the Park but it’s too far. O—only if you want to…”

“Your dad won’t be in?” Tom asks with a smirk. “He sounds scary.”

She chuckles, “No, I doubt it anyway. He goes out most weekend nights, or at least he has since I’ve been legally old enough for him not to worry. And he said he had plans to go out tonight sans the drink so that I could have fun.”

“Forgive me for asking, but why does he go out so much?”

“He's rich and young. Of course he goes out, I manage his life to ensure he gets downtime like that.”

“You manage his life?” Ah, so apparently that’s the conclusion he’s jumping straight to. “Y/N, dude, that’s weird.”

“We’re open with each other, I’m like his Harry: he wouldn’t get to work without me,” she says, a slight edge to her words. This is why she didn’t want to talk about her dad. Not tonight, not for a long time with Tom. “There’s no point about him lying to me. And besides, I’m not stupid.”

“If it works for you, love, then that’s great”

“It does, Tom. He’s the best dad anyone could wish for. He’s so accepting.”

“Let’s hope he’s accepting if he finds me drinking coffee in your house then.”

Her eyes light up, instantly straightening her neck. “You’re coming?”

“Yeah, I’d really like to.”

Y/N finds herself speechless for the first time in a long while, just smiling at him, giggling as she sips her drink through the crazy straw he fetched for her on a whim. He keeps talking, nattering her ear off, about his family and his dog and his friends and his work and all of the little anecdotes that bear no similarities to what he’s on about, and she just listens gratefully to his gorgeous, gruff voice, her eye focussed on his strong jawline that cenches between words, and the dark welcoming depths of his lively eyes, all until the waiter comes and hands the the cheque.

“I’ve got it,” he says, ferreting for his wallet in his blazer strung on the back of the chair, and then patting at his gorgeously toned thighs.

“I’ll get my half of the bill,” she replies, plucking her own wallet from her jacket pocket. “It’s only fair.”

“No, I asked you out, it’s my treat.” He has the audacity to actually wink, flexing his delectable veiny biceps as he plucks the cash from his wallet. “And hey, I get the first date, we can split the second. With your dad's approval.”

“Thank you, babe.”

———

“You don’t sound American,” Tom observes as they walk out of the restaurant. “Where are you from?”

The thing is, she’s very American, or rather a New Yorker, born and raised right there in the city, having it all as her home turf, the boroughs her playground, taking her first trip to Central Park merely days old. Every New York theatre show her dad’s ever done, she’s been front row on opening night and to a handful of other performances, both in the audience and in the wings. He took her to her first Broadway musical when she was five, and readily took her to whatever was on and had tickets available. It was his main financial throwaway, the main thing he indulged in for her. The tourist attractions she’d all seen by the time she was ten, she’d lived in Manhattan and out of it all the time, gone to elementary and middle school right there in the city, too. She thinks she sounds American, a slight New York twinge to her accent, but it has been muted by the elocution lessons she received while living away.

“Must be boarding school, I’m city born ‘n’ raised.”

“Really? No you’re not, I could swear you’re like Spanish or British.”

She chuckles warmly, looking at him in the street lights, pulling his blazer on around his tight fitted shirt.

“I was here until I was eleven, and every holiday, even the odd semester, but the rest of the time I was in Europe for school.” She sidles up a little closer to him, sidestepping on the sidewalk, “if anything, it’s Swedish. That’s the family, that’s where school was. But home has always been New York. I can tell you the steps from here to the Park, to the MET, to the statue, to the bridge, to the best late night kebab joint, the best weed dealer.”

“Weed?!”

“Oh, my dad smokes sometimes. Well...”

“You really are a New York kid,” Tom returns thoughtfully, “I think I’ll have to stay around a little longer, it seems there’s a lot to learn about my city girl.”

My City Girl. The way he says it causes her heart to flutter, drying up her mouth. And to make the moment better, or perhaps worse since it shuts off her entire brain from sensical response, he brushes his knuckles over hers. It’s the touch she’s been desiring for months, ever since their final kiss. It lights her on fire and makes her feel alive, desiring more, so much more. But, so as to not ruin it too soon, she lets it go, and just scrapes her fingers over his a little more. He continues the contact while they walk, his fingertips scraping over her leg or her pulsepoint (sneaky, though whether he can actually take a pulse, she’s not hopeful) or her rings, always just that fraction away from taking her hand in his. A cohorted route it is that they take, a long one, and she briefly wonders in their moments of silence whether Jake is ok, and where he is, but Tom’s steady presence beside her brings her back to the moment. She’s on a date with a handsome, talented, bloody gorgeous British actor, and nothing can stop that or dampen her mood (or foil her attempt to get some) except maybe—

“You got a dollar, ma’am?” a deep voice growls, followed by the whines of a dog, a big one at that, and it proves to be an alsatian as the street lamp sheds light.

Y/N feels her heart physically break in two. The poor thing looks so thin, so cold, and that’s just the dog. She knows her life is, and always has been, almost perfect. Raised with more money than she could ever spend, a brilliant education, a wonderful, loving and supportive family with amazing people at every turn, and the world's best dad. Her most valuable lesson through it all, though? Give back. That’s why her heart aches so deeply to see this poor homeless man on the street, and it’s like Tom isn’t there anymore, it’s just her and this man she feels a need in her bones to help. Not everyone has so much.

She tells Tom to wait, and asks him to hold out his hands, placing everything into them that was in her jacket as she removes that, and plucks her wallet out.

“Sir?” He looks up at her thoughtfully, piercing grey eyes within an untrimmed beard, his jaw dropping as he feels her press a note into his hand—a $20—and a small card. “Get yourself and your dog something warm to eat and drink, and then go to the address on the card, it’s only two blocks over. It’s a safe place, more than a shelter, and they’ll take your dog too. Tell them Y/N sent you.”

She wraps her jacket around the dear, shivering dog, and feels it’s trembling alleviate, even just slightly, at the contact, at the warmth.

The man's eyes are welling with tears as he reaches for her hand, claiming it in his spindly fingers, clad in holey gloves. “Thank you, Ma’am, thank you so much. God bless you always.”

“Sir,” she says, her voice strong, “there’s no need to thank me. Just get yourself safe and warm and fed. Okay?”

“Okay.” He nods.

Unbeknownst to her, while she’s fussing the dog and offering him some of the many treats she keeps in her pockets, Tom is standing there completely awed by her kindness. This is just another way in which she’s completely, entirely perfect. When at last she leaves, Tom sheds his own blazer almost instantly and slips it over her shoulders, her belongings already settled in the pockets, she can feel them.

“That’s such a kind thing to do, w— why did you do it?”

She shrugs, smiling at him, her face having gained a new glow from helping someone. “Dad always taught me to give back, no one deserves to live on the street, and not many people have as much as we do, so we set up a home for them, and I try to help every homeless person that I see.”

She’s right in calling it a home, but it’s more than a shelter. It’s a centre, a halfway house, a careers forum, a school, a place for people to heal, owned by herself and her dad under her fake name. A three storey house, kitchens and bedrooms and a gym and a garden. Last year, they went to a wedding of two people they once helped who met there. They have good rehab connections there for anyone struggling with substance abuse or mental health issues, health insurance, a green space for the dogs to play in, adult skills teachers from colleges who volunteer their time teaching them to not only get their GEDs if they weren’t previously attained, but to cook and wait and clean and drive: jobs like cater waiters, doormen, chauffeurs and maids never go amiss when living in the Big Apple. They give no interest loans, as well, for people to get their own place and get on their feet. During one of the first years, they had a musician stay who became a rather successful music teacher. They harness and nurture the skills everyone has or had before, and just try to help people get back on their feet after a rough patch, not asking for anything in return. They’ve been running it for 4 years now. It’s the greatest achievement of Y/N’s life to help people in such a way, even if it is her dad's endless bank accounts that fund the whole thing.

“Dad grew up privileged, he was born into essentially endless money. But more than this, he was born into a good ethos. Every Saturday they went to Synagogue, every Sunday it was Church. They did charity work growing up, they lived normal lives, and dad carried that on with me. He knows people don’t have much, that’s why we decided to help people in even just a small way, and it feels good to give back.”

“You get even more incredible with every passing second,” he breathes.

He says it like it’s as plain as day, the simplest and most blatant fact in the universe, and he savours—probably more than he should—the way she darts her tongue out to wet her lips. It takes him back, is all, to their seemingly endless days together, where he could see her and appreciate her smile and her lips every minute of every day, only for those months to be snatched so harshly from underneath him before he could tell her just how much their stolen moments meant to him. So, feeling courage in his heart, he takes her hand completely in his, knotting his fingers around hers, rubbing his thumb wherever he can reach on her knuckles, and he squeezes her palm tightly, possessively. The touch sends sparks shooting up her spine like fireworks, the touch to complete her, to seal the deal, confirm that he does care about her and he did care about their time together, so many things unsaid, that they thought were best left unspoken, being conveyed through a simple yet oh so meaningful touch. Holding hands feels so final, so romantic. Yeah, she could get used to this.

———

Tom is gazing up at the street signs, “Are we still in TriBeCa?”

“Yeah,” she responds, knitting her brows as she looks at him, too focussed on him to worry about the placements of her feet or the possibility of snapping an ankle. “I live in TriBeCa so you made a good choice with the restaurant.”

“Did you meet Jake here? Is that how he got you to be his PA?”

“Something like that,” she replies vaguely, squeezing his hand tighter. The velvet of the night sky looks stunning, so dark and inky, splattered with shiny drops of silver. The moon is almost full, offering them ample light over the undulating tops of the buildings, going on as far as the eye can see. “Thank you for tonight.”

“No, thank you, Y/N; you reminded me how special you are and how much fun we had on set.”

He swings his shoulder around, pulling her up to stand in front of him, at arm's length, their fingers still entwined.

“We did have lots of fun, didn’t we?”

“Would you like a refresher to remind you just how much fun?” he husks, taking a single stride closer to her, his chest against hers.

Her breathing becomes laboured, her pulse increasing, her pupils dilating: his body has the same reaction.

“Yes please.”

Needing no more prompting, he brings his other hand up to cup her jaw, tilting her head up to the right angle for him to slant his mouth over hers hotly, his lips offering the barest pressure when, at long last, they kiss. He tastes of pasta and beer and that something untraceable that always distinguished him to be Tom, something woody. It’s so familiar, the desired surge and rush of his touch returning to her in spurts, the gentle jab of his tongue at her lower lip, requesting an entrance she’s only too happy to grant. His tongue caresses hers, a silent demand for more, kissing her like his life depends on it. And frankly, she thinks it might. Knotting her fists in his shirt, she draws him closer, and feels it as his chest rumbles when he groans softly, low in his throat, bring his arms to circle around her, gathering her small, needy frame against him, tangling his limbs around her small self, his lips still fused to hers, moving fervently.

It makes her think of that passage, one of her favourite books, the one her dad endlessly read to her when she was little, so much that she knows it off by heart, and now can quote the moment that this book becomes her, a fitting way to seal what’s going on between them: ‘He knew that when he kissed this girl, and forever wed his unutterable visions to her perishable breath, his mind would never romp again like the mind of God. So he waited, listening for a moment longer to the tuning fork that had been struck upon a star. Then he kissed her. At his lips’ touch she blossomed like a flower and the incarnation was complete.’

With his strength surrounding her, his taste intoxicating her, she feels the swell of helplessness, a need to yield, the gushing tide of warmth that turns her legs to jell-o. Anything surrounding her, the buildings and the trees, the sidewalk and the pedestrians have all blurred to nothing, inconsequential. All she can feel, smell, taste is him. All she knows is him. His mouth is as familiar to search as any she’s ever known. It's like their tongues have fallen madly in love before they’ve even been able to get their heads around the concept, a binding agreement.

He devours her, his grip around her bruising, on her waist and her hips, his hands skimming her waist. She clings to him in the moonlight as his intensity increases, a burning passion, his insistent mouth sending tremors throughout her whole being, evoking sensations deep within the burning embers at the pit of her core that she’d never known she was capable of before. Y/N and Tom, there, in the streets of New York, melding together as one. The swimming giddiness that becomes her just serves to fuel her more, pressing herself up onto her tip toes as she goes for the buttons on his shirt, far too tight to aid her in any way. His grip moves down past her hips and settles at the top of her bum, his fingertips digging into the soft flesh.

“S— stop,” she mumbles against his lips, releasing her hold on him, “Not here. We’re only a block away.”

“Are you sure?”

“Mhm, and I know a shortcut.”

Now she’s high on him, her inhibitions dissipated, she’s letting the New York twang fade back into her accent, pulling at her words. She snatches his hand back up, and picks up her pace, all but dragging him through the streets and around the corners until she reaches her place. She can’t get the key in the lock fast enough, just jamming it around as Tom stands over her, his body shadowing hers.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered.”

He pushes her body up against the door, fanning his warm breath over her ear and her neck, stunting her movements even more. Eventually, she pushes the door open, and it swings open behind her, almost toppling inside, only for his arm to loop around her and save her, slamming her up against the nearest wall. Something falls off a sideboard on the way through, and she even knocks something off the wall, her shoulder blade turning the light on, only for her to hurriedly switch it off. Arms pinned above her head, he brings his mouth down onto hers.

“Tom,” she moans breathlessly.

“You’ll be screaming it later.”

———

As soon as he hears the door start to open, Jake hurries himself and the dogs back into his room from his run to get a cup of chai and some chips from the kitchen. He’s got everything he needs in there, a new show downloaded onto his DVR, his favourite book on his bedside table, and… lots of dirty laundry. Maybe he’ll have the chance to tidy all of that away while he’s stuck in here. Hopefully, this bloke has only come over for coffee, and he’ll be able to sit up with his daughter to ask her how her night has been, only as soon as he sees the flicker of a light in the hallway and hears a mighty crash followed by a fit of giggles, he knows he’s not so lucky. Instead, he withdraws his headphones, plugs them into his phone, and blares Mumford & Sons as loud as it’ll go, hoping that the words from there mingling with those in the pages of To Kill a Mockingbird will drown out the outside world.

He’d at least expected a text along the lines of: The date went really well, I’m coming back to the house w him. Hope you’re having fun dad, let me know when you’ll be home x

Because that’s what happened with her last boyfriend. He doesn’t blame her, of course: she thinks he’s out partying with his mates. He just needed to be more prepared for this day. One day, maybe, when she’s a little older, graduated, stable, he’ll introduce her to T

om and he’ll let her gravitate to him the way she did those months away. He’s gotta let Tom grow up a hell of a lot first though, before he lets her be hurt by his lad antics. Jake at 18 is Tom at 24, and never will Y/N be hurt by it. He’ll turn out well, one day, and Jake can’t think of a better potential future boyfriend for his little girl.

———

As soon as they’re in the bedroom, Tom begins to peel her dress off, deftly pulling the zip down and running the rough pads of his fingers down her spine in the dress's wake. Sparks electrify every inch of her, rising goosebumps of the most pleasurable kind on her tender skin.

“Is this okay?” he mumbles against her neck, sucking the sensitive flesh there, marking her. She groans out as he moves his place, and sucks another particularly nasty hickey just beneath her ear.

“Y— yes, more,” she pleads, barely able to gather her own thoughts.

Tom, the gentleman that he is, picks her up with one arm, holding her up by his grip on her ass alone, and wades his way through the darkness to the bed, whereupon he drops her, and begins to trail his kisses down her exposed cleavage now. She flicks on the light, and lets her hands then drift to his hair, raking through and grasping at the chestnut locks. Her attention is, however, drawn away from Tom’s ministrations at the sight of her room. When she left it was quite a state, with clothes and makeup everywhere, but Jake’s gone around and cleaned everything, putting away all of her dresses in the closet, and he made her bed, perhaps changed the sheets even, judging by the softness and lack of wrinkles on the comforter beneath them.

He pulls her dress entirely off, followed by her shoes, and begins to lace kisses up the inside of her calves, trailing his fingers up her body until he reaches the warmth at the apex of her legs. In preparation, she’s already discarded her panties: forward, he likes it. He licks his fingers wet and moves them just to where she wants them, needs them the most, where she’s been thinking about him touching her for days, just a featherlight touch on her nether lips. His Adam's apple bobs, his eyes fused on her, burning her with an intensity that their encounters before have never held. As much as she’s enjoying the contact that makes her whimper, tantalising caresses, stroking her silky cavern, stretching her, it’s just not enough.

“Baby,” she whines, her voice laden with lust, “Tommy, I need you now.”

“Wait, darling, I’ve gotta do something first,” he insists, a mischievous glimmer in his dark chocolate eyes, “the second we... I’ll finish.”

“No way dude. I’ve been waiting years for the main event, I’m not waiting a second longer.”

His shoulders shake in soundless laughter, and then, as though her words dared him, he licks a bold stripe, causing her words to die in her suddenly dry throat. Maybe she can wait a little longer. He always was incredibly good with his tongue, letting her sit on his face for half an hour at a time, if ever they could steal such a moment… or somewhere large enough for them to get into such a position.

In all fairness, Tom can’t wait either. He’s been desperate for this as long as she has, and he doesn’t want any time to pass before the main event, so he’ll make this quick. Deep plunges of his fingers bring her back around, his eyes fixed on hers despite his filthy actions on her core. He watches in amazement, every toss of her head as she writhes around, every kitten lick to her sensitive pearl pushing her closer and closer to bliss.

“Please, fuck,” she begs, her mind in a frenzy.

Her hand flies down to his head, gripping his hair, tugging, pressing his face deeper and deeper into her heat.

“So sexy,” he drawls, and delves straight back in.

Fingers and tongue working in tandem, she continues to tug on his hair, her legs wrapping around his head. It takes a single coax more and one harsh lick for her to come undone, spilling her essence into Tom’s mouth. Eagerly, he laps it up, and comes up for air with his thin lips glistening as he smirks devilishly at her.

“Condom, top drawer.”

He doesn’t wait around, instantly slamming the drawer open and feeling around for a foil packet while Y/N frantically unbuttons the rest of his shirt and his trousers, shucking them down his legs along with his boxers, taking her length in his hand, almost drooling at the weight of it before she’s even seen him. Is it possible for him to have gotten bigger during their time apart?

“Fuck, Tommy.”

She breathes heavily, gazing up at him all doe-eyed.

“Baby, don’t look at me that way, you know I can’t have you looking all innocent when I’m wrecking your pretty pussy.”

His words raise a moan in her throat that won’t make it past, she won’t let it, it’s far too obscene to allow it out into the open air, and it only seems to build while watching Tom roll the condom on, stroking himself once, twice, holding her cheek with his other hand. Instinctively, her legs open wider in response.

“Are you sure you want this?”

“Yes,” she consents, nodding fervently, “please. Do you?”

“Yes, darling.”

She shifts up the bed, her eyes imploring, her arms welcoming, prompting him to sheath himself within her all the while keeping her close. Contact is what she desires, his touch, his whole being surrounding her. He breathes in her gasp, swallowing it as he enters her, causing her core to shake, but he's all too glad to be encased in her quivering warmth, smiling into the kiss while he keeps himself steady, holding himself above her. Even when he begins to move, she’s so lost in his eyes, in the beautiful grunts that escape his lips, parted just above hers. That is until his thrusts pair with hers in imperfect harmony, and he brushes that spot inside her that crumbles any remaining resolve, just driving her to find one thing.

“So pretty baby,” he exhales, keeping his movements as even as he can, his curls falling into his eyeline.

His thrusts are harsh, passionate, and yet so filled with love and purpose: pleasure. She finds herself brushing a lock of hair away from his face as her chest moves with the force of his body on hers, drawing him in for another kiss, tender despite their moment of lust. Limbs woven together in a tangle, waves of pleasure ebbing and flowing around them in an ever constant current, basking in the worldly pleasures only they can provide each other. Her moans are a stark contrast to his curses, but they all boil down to the same thing. Bliss just on the horizon, verging on the edge, she claws at his back, lifting herself from the mattress, clutching to him like he’s her only hope.

“There, Tommy,” she pleads like a prayer.

He rolls his hips and ensures his cock hits deep within her just that same way until she’s crying out his name, release washing over her, and him not a moment later, holding her close. Pressed together, moonlight dappling their sweaty skin, their chests rise and fall together, and only then does she realise she still has her bra on.

Mustering all of her remaining energy, she quips, “Scared of bra hooks are we, Spider-Man?”

He chuckles softly, lathering kisses on her exposed collarbones. “You could say that. Bathroom?”

“Down the hall, to the left.”

He plants his lips on hers for a final kiss before exiting. She watches his butt and his thighs clench while he pulls on his boxers, and how he tries not to make much noise, prancing down the hallway as silently as he can, even though she’s already told him her dad isn’t in.

She’s gone directly against her dad's few ground rules for her, the first time she’s ever dared do such a thing. She feels so dirty, so disrespectful. He lets her do whatever she likes, essentially, and she couldn’t even do one thing for him like abstain from sleeping with a playboy for one night? What an awful daughter she feels.

Sheltering her face with her hands, she groans into the pillow, and plucks a new pair of underwear from her drawer, tugging them up her legs, cautioning herself as she stands. Two glasses of water from the kitchen, she brings them back and puts them on her bed stand, following Tom into the bathroom once he’s done. She thinks perhaps brushing her teeth will help her feel better, cleaner, but it doesn’t help all that much. She doesn’t regret Tom, of course not, she’s completely besotted with him and if he got down on one knee tonight, she’d unequivocally, recklessly scream yes with all her might. And besides, the sex was mind-blowing, causing all of those little fireworks and constellations to erupt behind her eyelids as he pleasured her. But that’s not the point.

“Hey sweetheart, are you okay? Was I too rough?”

“No, Tom, you were great,” she responds, a half smile playing on her lips, “I’m just tired.”

“Ok, well, I can go if you want—”

“No,” she hastens, pressing a hand to his exquisitely firm bicep, his skin warm and slightly clammy, “stay.”

Why, she’s not sure, that is until he wraps his arms around her and draws her small frame into his larger one beneath the sheets, cradling her, holding her, supporting her head with his beefy shoulder, curling around her waist with his veiny arms.

“Thank you.” She kisses his lips tenderly.

“Anytime, my city girl; you’ll have to let me take you out more often.”

Tom falls asleep shortly after this, soft snores escaping his lips while his grip on her remains strong. Y/N, however, doesn't have such an easy time. Tom’s heartbeat steady beneath her ear, her head buried in his bare chest, it’s a sweet solace, as is his steady breathing, and the faint twitches of his fingertips sparking her skin every so often. When he strains, she can see the veins protruding in his neck the way they did when he was above her not so long ago. It’s comfortable to lie here with him, comforting, and she feels safe, like the world can’t hurt her here.

Only her own mind can.

Breakups are the topic that come to mind strangely, and even more bizarrely, the first thought she has is that she hopes she’ll never go through another. Sure, most people think that, but to have such a profound realisation while curled up with a guy? That doesn’t happen every day. Tom can’t be her endgame, no matter how much she’d love for him to be. Even so, she feels that, should she break up with the man holding her tightly, right here in her bed, ensuring her everlasting protection, it’ll hurt a hell of a lot more than the last break up she had, and yet it was also her first. Tom will break her heart, she knows this, he has the full power to do such a thing. He owns her heart, he has since the day their eyes met, which is why she doesn’t think she’ll just be able to let him go.

Her first breakup, even though she didn’t love the guy, was a significantly dark period of her life, and she spent a solid week just curled up in her dad's king sized bed, eating ice cream out of the tub with a giant spoon, crying into her dad's shoulder. He nursed her through it all more than willingly, said he remembered his heartbreak when his heart was first broken and then again when his girlfriend left him and didn’t even want to discuss the possibility of them sharing a baby together. Not that he told her the latter part, he never discusses her unless explicitly asked to: why should he have to? Y/N’s mother is nothing more than a surrogate. But he recounted all of his breakups briefly to her, and told her that the pain got a little less every time because he knew they weren’t the one he was waiting for, so love's cruel sting didn’t feel so bad no more.

Every one from the time she was born, most of the breakups she could remember, when he’d just go out and get pissed one night, go on a health craze for a week while letting her eat whatever she wanted with no structured meals, he’d have a good cry on day five while cuddling the dogs on the couch, and then he’d throw himself into a new role.

Y/N, however, spent the whole time listening to the ultimate breakup playlist, headed by the international breakup anthem, coincidentally written about Jake, and he just sat there and listened to it time and time again.

That was an interesting period in both of their lives. She was just starting boarding school, he was dating an international superstar singer. Of course it wasn’t going to go well.

Their relationship was essentially detailed word for word in Taylor’s song, and he wasn’t as good towards her, he surrendered, as he could’ve been. They did break up multiple times, he did say he needed space because his daughter was going through a lot (a daughter no girlfriend knew about until at least six months in—that’s why it didn’t work with many of them) and then when things were more settled, he realised he missed Taylor, so he called her up and requested they give it another shot. After that, it was pretty on and off due to turbulent times for them both, and he wasn’t strictly to blame. He picked as many fights as she did, but always let her win, let her know she was right. But she was right in the fact that he’d hide away to find his ‘peace of mind’. Meaning he’d hop on a plane to pay his daughter a visit, and they’d listen to a new song one of his friends had released, with no animosity towards Taylor. As she was writing the song, he wanted to apologise, explain, make things right—even just as friends—but she wouldn’t have any of it, and proceeded to write the anthem (not that he blamed her one bit, he conceded pretty early on that he was a huge dick) despite the fact that he actually did love her, he had grown to love her dearly, and was about to tell her about Y/N. Then the song came out.

He had to get Taylor over to explain, to just give her some way of understanding the situation: Even though the song was overly dramatized (as songs have to be) it was taking it to the extreme…

So he threatened her with a lawyer.

Not his finest moment, and Y/N did advise him against it. He also didn’t even research if what he was claiming, ‘unrightful exposition’, was even a real thing. Nonetheless, she agreed to come over for coffee, and was met with a twelve year old Y/N at the door.

“I’m sorry dear, I must have the wrong flat. Do you know where Jake lives?”

“Oh no, he lives here Miss Swift, you’re just in time,” she said, putting on her best polite accent before she bellowed, “Dad! She’s here!” and Jake appeared.

Taylor, naturally, was instantly extremely flustered, and spent a solid minute just looking and pointing between the two, palms clammy, brows furrowed, completely and utterly bewildered. When, at last, she spoke, she merely hissed, “You have a daughter?!” As if it wasn’t evident enough.

Jake pulled his guitar out and began to play her song right back to her, only with his rebuttal woven into each line, undermining every word she’d written.

Then, Taylor Swift almost fainted on their doorstep. Once Jake finished with his parody, he helped her into the living room and got her some water, once she couldn’t string a sentence together. Not that anyone could blame her, it’s a lot to take in for anyone.

“Oh, my God. Jake, I’m so sorry.” She took a hefty gulp of water, turning her whole body to face him, sitting on the opposite sofa, his arm around Y/N, curled up and scribbling away at some homework. “I had no idea, why didn’t you tell me?”

He shrugged. “She’s a secret, hardly anyone knows and I’d like to keep it that way, she’s my little girl and her life is private, the media don’t know she exists. I only reveal her to someone if I think there’s a future, for her own protection.”

“I’m right here, dad. And twelve, not four.”

Though Jake was completely seething, he was convinced by Y/N (a very enthusiastic Swiftie) to forgive her, leading the pair to have been secret friends ever since. Taylor’s apologies were profuse, but they both knew that they’d never have been able to get the song revoked or understood without revealing far too much, so they left it at that, but Y/N and Taylor have always kept in touch too, and real Taylor helped Y/N through her first break up as well. Jake has just had to grow to accept, over the years, that his daughter is friends with his ex, though he supposes it could happen that he remains friends with one of her future exes if she ever goes out with someone like Tom.

Little does he know who she’s curled up with right now, inhaling his natural woody scent while he sleeps. She’s able to think back to it, that pained expression on Jake’s face that he was unable to hide every time she went shopping with Taylor. She’s always been there, since that reconciliation, and took Y/N under her wing, so Y/N never saw any reason why she and Jake shouldn’t get back together, because a spark was always there. But if she can see that spark, then perhaps Jake could see the spark between her and Tom those months away with their not-so-subtly stolen moments. Maybe, just maybe. And even then, what would it mean?

He didn’t seem to care when they’d have dancing competitions and land in a pile of tangled limbs on the floor of set, not dissimilar to the way they are right now, even if they’d be told off by the directors and laughed at horridiously by Harry and Jacob… and then proven that they really can’t dance by Zendaya.

Jake always encouraged Y/N to dance, to perform, to express herself through whatever artistic medium she so chose, and that led to years and years of dance lessons. All that experience, and her links to Taylor, led to her being one of Taylor’s backup dancers at the AMAs, even if her dad wasn’t too impressed by the fact, he was incredibly proud that she’d had such an experience on stage, though it only served to deepen her resolve that she didn’t want to be in the spotlight or follow in his life. Despite the rush, the sensation of being on stage that so overwhelmed her, the simply joyous thing, as soon as the dance was finished and she was backstage again, she knew that this isn’t the life she wants, no matter how much she loves to dance. But what does that mean for her and Tom? Does that mean even more of a breakup when she chooses a life away from the spotlight, away from his world? A private, secret life? Hopefully it doesn't make a difference, but one day he’ll have to find out who she is.

Maybe he’ll grow to accept it, maybe not; maybe her dad will be the problem, maybe not. Either way, as Tom turns away from her and erases his warmth despite his lingering touch caressing her skin, she just prays it all falls back into place, and her life can be as simple and blissful as their months in Europe.

#tom holland #thomas stanley holland imagine #thomas stanley holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland imagines #tom holland blurb #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fic series #tom holland fanfic series #gyllenhaal daughter #gyllenhaal reader #tom holland x gyllenhaal!reader #tom holland series #tom holland x fem reader #tom holland x fem #tom holland x f reader #tom holland x female reader

[boethiah]

Obscure TES Guys?

Honestly, People should be more interested in Swims at Night from The Card Game, dude was 1) A great war war veteran who single handedly saved the Imperial City by smuggling in a Shezzarine in a covert black ops mission 2) Was a certified himbo who met a Shezzarine and a half naked Nord Beefcake for half an hour trying to steal his smuggling ship and dude instantly decides those two are his new best friends and will literally die for them, 3) History Nerd, dude is a buff Argonian Pirate with a six pack who sails valiantly through storms yet his main hobby is sit back by a campfire and read some lore book or another so he can delight his traveling companions with more useless lore facts about some ancient Ayleid engraving or whatnot that will totally lead them to a long forgotten treasure or another, trust him, 4) if we go by one of the Endings of the Clockwork City Story Mode dude is now depressed as fuck alone as he just watched his best friend be erased by the power of the Heart of Lorkhan and his other surviving friend from the great war butchered to try to save them in her final sacrifice only for her corpse to be turned into a mockery of life and machinery to taunt him for his failures so that he has to put her down himself (Keep in mind you can do the reverse and have him sacrifice himself and be turned into a monster just to save his friends, which is in character for both him and Laaneth to prefer death to the prospect of their friends hurting even more) and now he's alone and depressed and the last survivor of the gang from the Great War and honestly that's a tragedy because he knows that both of his friends just died because of him, because he was searching for some mystical treasure from some long forgotten lore and roped them into it with promises of riches and adventures, one last caper just like old times decades after the Great War, an old argonian with his old friends and now they are all dead and it's All his fault.

And such a majestic character was relegated to the bloody card game honestly.

SO true

[st0nesnglitter]

Random Marauders headcanons

Just things I wholeheartedly believe are true

James is a very picky eater, he just wants to eat chiccy nuggies and drink choccy milk

Remus is the residential ‘tea-maker’

He does it just right and knows how everyone wants it (with milk, steeped for extra long, honey etc)

James always uses too much sugar or honey, it’s basically a sweet potion

Sirius forgets about the bag and comes back an hour later to a pitch black cup of tea

Remmy is also the cook of the group

Since James is so picky cannot cook for shit

And Sirius is used to workers coming in with a billion courses for every meal so he has no idea what to do when you put him in the kitchen

All of them are academically smart but James is definitely not streetsmart

Himbo jock ™️

Sirius probably have ADD or ADHD and needs a lot of encouragement to do his homework, but when he does it it’s almost always perfect

Jamie loves picinics and they will plan a while coupe to try and steal food from the kitchen

It ends with the three of them sprinting out of the castle with bread and strawberries and a bottle of wine (the wine was not on their list and that was what made their plan fail)

Remus rather gets high at parties, feels like he’s got more control over himself but can still get a powerful buzz

James likes alcohol cause there’s a lot of mixes that taste like candy but can get him drunk

Sirius mixes and gets sloppy drunk, ends up on top of the frame of the fireplace and says he’s gonna try to do a flip

(But Remus picks him up and throws him over his shoulder before he can hurt himself)

If Sirius have a nightmare James will always crawl into his bed and cuddle him, petting his hair and letting him cry into his chest and making him feel safe enough to fall asleep again

Jamie have this irrational fear that Remus will turn when it’s not full moon and will keep an enormous stash of chocolate in the room to be ready if he ever comes in bloody and destroyed

They have a bet to see who can fling over the most mashed potatoes on Snivellous head without getting caught by any teachers

Remus builds a makeshift catapult that has impeccable aim but can only shoot a little at a time

James tries to get Xenophilius to throw it for him cause he is closer but gets disqualified by Remus

Sirius just takes a fistful and gets up on the table and throws it right in Snapes face

Kind of missed the mark on the whole ‘not get caught by the teachers’ but definitely wins the quantity category

Sirius writes poetry to help deal with all the shit he’s been through but doesn’t want anyone to know except Remus

Rem will read it and help encourage him, give him constructive criticism but most of all a bunch of praise

When Sirius comes out as bi he doesn’t really get the reaction he wanted, they all just looked a little dumbfounded

But the next day James, Remus and Peter walks down the corridors in a pink, purple and blue shirts, breaking the dress code to show Sirius their support

They are supposed to get detention but Minerva doesn’t have the heart to do it when they explained what the colors stood for

During summers they will all hang out outside, near the black lake, and James will pick flower and make flower crowns

He will put one on Remus when he is reading against a tree, and even though Rem gets sniffly from pollen he will keep it on

Sirius loves the crowns and will wear them during dinner and will take no shit from any Slytherin that is trying to mock him for it

All three of them have body issues

Remus hates his scars and have a hard time taking off his shirt to go swimming in the lake

Sirius thinks he’s too skinny, sure you can see some muscle but he never seems to bulk up, no matter how much he works out

James thinks he always can be fitter

Everyone knows him for a mountain of muscle so he feels like he can’t take a day off, doesn’t wanna disappoint anyone by not looking perfect

But they all try to help each other, help Remmy with healing up his new marks (but tells him that they won’t try to remove his old ones, that they are just as pretty as he is)

Help Sirius with showing him that he is strong and that he doesn’t have to gain weight and look like a greek god to be the hottest guy on Hogwarts

Help James realize that he shouldn’t do anything for other people and that his health comes first

Rem figures out how to work a batterypack and one thing lead to another and they can get a TV running in their dorm

So whenever they can go to muggle London they will try and get the coolest looking VHS’ and have bi-weekly movie nights

During one of these trips Sirius walks into a vintage store and just falls in love

He will try to go to every second hand store in London, only one who can stand being with him during those trips are James

Since James never learned to do his own hair properly (ever the mommas boy) Sirius helps him

He’s seen what Euphemia does hundreds of times and he adores the look of James’ defined curls

During the summer between sixth and seventh year they all stay at the Potter mansion

Remus is absolutely astonished by the library, kind of pissed off that James doesn’t appreciate the hundreds of books that always are at his disposal

Sirius and James spend a lot of time playing quidditch, not wanting Gryffindor to lose their last year at Hogwarts

And they will all gather around in the dining room every night for dinner, talk and laugh and drink whiskey

They’ve grown up, not drinking to get drunk but rather appreciating the flavor

(But in the end they get pretty drunk still)

There’s an overflow of lipbalm in the dorm

No one know who started their collection (and addiction) but in every nook there is a tube

#sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #sirius orion black #remus john lupin #james fleamont potter #sirius black headcanon #remus lupin headcanon #james potter headcanon #marauders #the marauders #the marauders headcanon #marauders headcanon

[sevenkittensinatrenchcoat]

Saw My Mutuals Doing a Hunger Games

So, I also messed around with the Hunger Games Simulator. I called it Macavity’s Jellicle Choice. Macavity managed to defeat Old Deuteronomy and decided that the next cat to ascend to the Heaviside Layer as to survive a Hunger Games. 23 cats just die. The 24th gets reborn.

I am so terrible with the simulator that I didn’t even have images for the characters, so I didn’t take many screenshots. Instead, I took notes of what happened.

We’ll begin at the end:

This is the only screenshot you’re getting. All of the nicknames I used are very stupid.

Here are the notes I took as I played this thing:

Content Warning: It’s a Hunger Games. Violence and Death. Also featuring my dark sense of humor.

Bloodbath

Pouncival and Plato fought over a bag, but Pouncival was too small to win that fight and ran away.

Tantomile Inventory: Shield x1

Jellylorum managed to scare Tugger away from the Cornucopia. Nobody was surprised by this.

Victoria Inventory: Bombs x5

Bombalurina Inventory: Shield x1

Munkustrap has made the Cornucopia into his base.

Rumpleteazer, Asparagus, and Grizabella got into a fight. I assume it must’ve been some sort of Emotional Ballad Competition, because Grizabella was victorious.

Etcetera Inventory: Canteen x1

Mungojerrie is hiding in the Cornucopia. Munkustrap knows this and is allowing it.

Day 1:

After all that “excitement” (The Bloodbath wasn’t that bloody tbh), there’s still much to be done.

George and Coricopat got into a fight, but it was just practice and they’re fine. George won, btw.

Pouncival has already managed to hurt himself will foraging for food.

Jemima Inventory: Hatchet x1 (The baby has plenty of sponsors, I assume.)

Bombalurina caught some fish, but that’s not that exciting.

Grizabella murdered Alonzo with a trident. I’m starting to become concerned by how good she is at killing people.

Tantomile just fell in a lake and drowned. Quite the anticlimax.

Allience! Electra, Cassandra, and Mistoffelees are on the prowl!

Tumblebrutus managed to scare Tugger into running away. I think “run away” is Tugger’s strategy at this point.

Munkustrap Inventory: Nameless Fruit x3

Jellylorum Inventory: Spear x1 (She made it herself. All those years of teaching kids crafts have paid off.)

Victoria beat Mungojerrie in a fight, but let him go because this was either a practice round or the announcer for the family-friendly TV station that airs The Hunger Games just claimed they were “fighting” in the bushes.

Etcetera Inventory: Canteen x1, Food Item x1 (Thank you, sponsor! …Okay, it was me.)

Mass Funeral 1:

RIP Rumpleteazer. (Lean Lynx) Her ballad wasn’t angst enough.

RIP Asparagus. (No Fuss 2 Pronounce) He just wanted to play Growltiger.

RIP Alonzo. (True Himbo) That was kind of pathetic.

RIP Tantomile. (She Psych) Your death was so boring.

Night 1:

Serial Killer Grizabella got Electra.

Plato became Enemy Number 1 for some unknown reason and he was hunted down by Coricopat, Tumblebrutus, Tugger, Jenny, and Munkustrap.

Remember how Pouncival injured himself? He got pricked with tiny thorns and bled out a few hours later.

Etcetera just screamed for help AND IF SOMEONE DOESN’T HELP HER I SWEAR TO GOD-

Some strange archery accident involved Victoria, Skimble, and Cassandra occurred. Cassandra’s dead now.

Jellylorum isn’t dead, but she’s unconscious, so someone should really look into that.

Misto and Jemima are snuggling!

Bombalurina stabbed George and left him to die. A bit harsh.

Demeter and Mungojerrie have been spotted holding hands. These two Macavity survivors have turned to each other for emotional support.

Day 2:

Allience! Jerrie, Victoria, Coricopat, Misto, and Munkustrap are on the prowl!

Serial Killer Grizabella is stalking Jemima! Luckily, she hasn’t got a chance to kill her.

Skimble stabbed Tugger.

Etcetera has found her mom. Jellylorum has kept her safe for the day.

Demeter Inventory: First Aid Kit x1 (From a sponsor)

Jennyanydots Inventory: First Aid Kit x1 (From a sponsor, cleverly giving medical supplies to someone who might be able to help everyone. Hopefully, no more kittens will end up like Pouncival.)

Mass Funeral 2:

RIP Electra (Book and Bell): She didn’t expect Grizabella to go so insane so quickly.

RIP Plato (Not Too Big): He was played by the same actor as Macavity, so maybe the mob got mixed up.

RIP Pouncival (Can Do Handstand): He died from a boo-boo.

RIP Cassandra (Pharaohs’s Girl): I’m still not sure wtf just happened.

RIP George (Could Be Admetus): I almost completely forgot about him, but the audience will remember.

RIP Tugger (Tugs): Skimble took their rivalry too far.

So, that was a massacre…

Night 2:

Coricopat just randomly died from thirst. Remember that Tantomile drowned. One twin died from too little water, and the other from too much.

Victoria is having nightmares. Just thought you should know.

Jerrie, Skimble, Grizabella, and Demeter have set up camp together. After everything that’s happened, sharing a camp with Grizabella sounds like a terrible idea, but everyone’s under a lost of stress and not thinking clearly.

Misto has built a shelter and Jenny is allowed inside. Good choice of ally.

Jemima tried to sing herself to sleep. Poor baby…

Munk killed Jelly with a poison dart. It was quite brutal. I don’t think he meant it that way, but the game only ends after most of them are dead.

Bombalurina has begun to question her sanity. I think this question applies to nearly everyone.

Etcetera, after possibly witnessing Munk kill Jelly, appears to have snapped. She hacked Tumblebrutus to pieces with a weapon that I didn’t even know she had.

Day 3:

Stalking Jemima was a bad choice. Serial Killer Grizabella now as a sprained ankle.

Allience! Victoria, Jenny, Misto, and Jerrie are on the prowl!

Munk died from thirst, and possibly from guilt.

Bomba and Skimble are friends for today.

Etcetera Inventory: Food Item x1 (Sponsor. I had to do something)

Mass Funeral 3:

RIP Coricopat (He Psych): His death matched up with his twin’s.

RIP Jellylorum (Bitches Be Jelly): That was really fucked up.

RIP Tumblebrutus (Fliptastic): He was probably in the wrong place at the wrong time.

RIP Munkustrap (Fearless Leader): At the end of the day, he couldn’t kill his family.

Night 3:

Etcetera is gazing at the stars, looking for a Dead Parent-Shaped Constellation.

Victoria managed to defeat Serial Killer Grizabella, but she let her go.

Jerrie and Jemima are snuggling! I think he might’ve adopted her. Normally, that would be Skimble’s job, but…

Demeter found those poison darts Munk was using and killed Skimble with one of them.

Meanwhile, because everyone’s parents are dying tonight, Misto shot Jenny. I think he might’ve planned it. The Hunger Games brings out the worst in everybody, sooner or later.

Feast!

Smart Cats Who Stayed the Fuck Out of It: Mistoffelees and Demeter

Bomba just grabbed some food and ran for it, so she’s also pretty smart.

Etcetera’s nervous breakdown continues. She killed Victoria in an ambush, not caring who she was killing at this point.

Serial Killer Grizabella managed to behave when she ran into Jerrie and Jemima. They grabbed their stuff and left.

Day 4:

Misto is ready to die, but Jemima won’t kill him and Jerrie went out to hunt, so he’s not there to do it for her.

Grizabella died of dysentery. This isn’t even a joke.

EVENT: Tsunami (Later to be Dubbed “The Tsunami of Tears”)

Survivors: Mistoffelees, Mungojerrie, and Demeter

Little Etcetera got swept away. Bomba and Jemima both sort of crashed into each other, leaving them stunned for long enough to drown.

We just lost all of our kittens :,(

Mass Funeral 4:

RIP Jennyanydots (Mouse Mother): Misto betrayed her, but she probably didn’t mind.

RIP Skimbleshanks (Railway Cat): I’d like to propose a ban on poison darts.

RIP Victoria (Little White Cat): Another kitten in the wrong place at the wrong time.

RIP Grizabella (Cat Who Sings Memory): She died of dysentery.

RIP Etcetera (Little Tiger Cub): *wails*

RIP Bombalurina (Whittington’s Friend): She played very pragmatically, but lost from last-minute bad luck.

RIP Jemima (Sillababy): *wails louder*

Night 4:

After all the bullshit they’ve been through, the three survivors just decide to duel each other to the death now. Misto defeats Jerrie and Demeter. None of them were trying very hard.

Anyway, Mistoffelees won. I didn’t rig this so my favorite would win. I don’t know how one rigs a Hunger Games Simulator. I would’ve preferred to save a kitten.

If it isn’t obvious by now:

Mean Minx: Mungojerrie

Leading Lady: Demeter

Pied Piper’s Assistant: Mistoffelees

So, that’s what I did on this fine Tuesday morning.

Hunger Games Idea Inspired by: @fluffytuffles and @0zzysaurus​

I didn’t use the same template, but I wouldn’t have thought to do the thing if my mutuals didn’t start it.

As for the backstory I set up before hand, Mistoffelees magically kicked Macavity’s ass and rescued Old Deuteronomy. They figured out that it was all a magical nightmare Macavity had sent to torment the tribe. Misto’s magic allowed him to fight the nightmare for the longest. Demeter and Jerrie and also built up some Macavity resistance over time. Everyone who came close to winning had slightly higher Macavity resistance for one reason or another.

Anyway, they all woke up from the nightmare and everyone was actually fine.

The End

#cats 1998 #too many characters to tag #jellicle hunger games #this was so depressing that i added a happy ending #it was all a dream #just a dream

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

TUA DANCE SCHOOL AU

(but also like there's murder in here because it's still Umbrella Academy so...)

(BEWARE: mentions of abuse and harassment, murder, kidnapping, etc.)

(If you can handle watching Umbrella Academy, this will be fine for you.)

(Ballet, Hip-Hop) Diego came to this school for Eudora, and he’s staying here for Eudora. She’s his beloved adopted sister, and the one who told him he should pursue his passions in hip-hop… and ballet, but Diego’s not interested in telling anyone that bit yet. He’s only gonna be here a year anyway, just long enough for Eudora to win her way onto the women’s US national soccer team and earn enough money for the both of them to live worry-free for the rest of their lives. He’s not planning on making friends… until one of the dancers in his ballet class trips into his chest and Diego starts questioning whether love at first sight is a thing.

(Ballet) Klaus is top of his class in ballet, which is the only reason they haven’t kicked him out yet. He’s addicted to some hard shit; he’s sold himself for money; he’s living with his abusive boyfriend who he hasn’t loved in three years because if he wasn’t he’d be homeless. He knows he’d be fine if he just told Five what was happening to him, because Five is a thirteen-year-old runaway genius living in a studio apartment big enough for three, but Klaus doesn’t know how to bring it up. He knows he’s a mess - he’s got serious PTSD, anxiety, and depression from his few months in the army where his boyfriend he actually loved was killed in front of him, and he’s got anorexia because he’s a ballerina so of course he does, and he’s probably suicidal if he thinks about it too hard. But he just doesn’t want to deal with it. At all. But then there’s Diego. Sweet, innocent, hero-like Diego. And Klaus loves him. Klaus doesn’t love anything, but, fuck - Klaus loves Diego.

(Ballet, Break Dance, Hip-Hop, Tango) Five is a killer. You can laugh, it’s okay - everybody does when he says that, as if it’s a joke. Five’s alright with that. He has more to lose from them finding out about his habits than he does from actually doing it. It’s not like he can get caught - he’s killed detectives and cops too, and he’s very good at covering his tracks. Next on his list is Klaus’ boyfriend, who’s a piece of shit. He’ll bring Klaus home with him, and keep him safe. Five may not be loyal to many, but those he is will die of nothing but natural causes. He has access to things you can only dream of. All of his dance classes double for training; dance is a good segway to fighting techniques. The only trouble is Diego, who Five loves, who Klaus loves, who is well and true and good… who looks far too much like that vigilante who travels around after hours saving Five’s victims before they’re done bleeding out.

(Flamenco, Hula, Hip-Hop) Allison is undercover, and ready to be done with this shit. She knows Five’s guilty, and knows he knows she knows he’s guilty, and knows that if he wanted her dead she would be by now. She’s worried about his intentions towards Diego, but Five seems to have instead set his sights on Klaus’ boyfriend, who Allison can’t honestly say she’ll be sad to see go. So Allison won’t be bringing Five in - at least not yet. Instead, she focuses her efforts on her dance classes, hanging out mostly with her best friends Klaus and Ray, the latter of whom she has a crush on. And she’d make a move, too, if it weren’t for that stupidly hot and kind himbo she keeps passing in the hallways and cursing at.

(Jock, Break Dance) Luther doesn’t fit in here. Everyone here is so fucking talented, and Luther just… isn’t. Break dancing is just a hobby to him, but dance seems like life or death to everybody else. He’s starting to think maybe he should just quit, but then he sees Allison in the hallways, and thinks maybe all the ridicule is worth it. Though his petty fights with that Diego kid are getting annoying… and there’s something unexplainably sinister about this school. Almost like it’s… he doesn’t know. Sometimes it’s almost like it’s not a school at all.

(Choreographer, Contemporary) Ben is one of the school’s choreographers, though he’s still a student. He knows everything about everyone, and uses that power carefully. This school is going to fucking hell, what with all the criminals scheming under its roof, but none of them are Ben’s first concern, loathe as he is to admit it. No no, Ben is worried about Klaus. His best friend, Klaus. His beloved brother Klaus. His abused, sick, sad, scared, suicidal brother. God. Here’s the thing - Ben will do anything to save Klaus. Anything. Even, he knows with some sort of horrible inevitable certainty, die.

(Violinist) Vanya plays violin for the dance students to perform to. Her teacher Leonard is harassing her and she’s probably gonna end up his invisible victim one of these days, since nobody seems to care about her here. Except for Sissy, the student volunteer secretary who’s attending a normal college across the way. She and Vanya are in love, and they’ve moved in together and Sissy proposed to Vanya last week and Vanya thinks they’re maybe gonna be happy together forever. And then Five, Vanya’s only sort-of friend, climbs through her window at two in the morning covered in blood, passing out with only the words, Sorry. It’s not mine. Vanya screams, and it’s all downhill from there.

(Tango, Waltz, Ballroom) Ray is undercover with Allison, but she seems uninterested in bringing Five to justice. Not that Ray minds - she’s a pretty good judge of character, and Ray trusts her with his life, even if she seems to be hellbent on letting a serial killer go free. Ray’s also found an oddly fulfilling friendship with Klaus, and vows to make sure he gets his happy ending with Diego. But then he finds Ben’s bloody and beaten body in the second floor bathroom after class one day and thinks, Oh. Shit.

(Ballet, Break Dance, Tango) Lila is in the know. The Handler wants someone to combat Five, who went rogue on her a year ago and only sticks around this stupid school to keep an eye on Klaus. Lila, meanwhile, is looking for a way out - Five’s not an option. He’s too sticky. But Eudora, that soccer star at the school across the street, her best friend Diego’s sister… Eudora’s a way out. (And she’s really fucking pretty too, but that’s unrelated.)

(Jock, Hip-Hop) Eudora has this weird feeling about the school she sent Diego too. If she’s being honest, she sent him there because she knows about his vigilante-ism and thought it’d give him something else to do. But when Eudora comes to visit him (and yes, maybe Lila with the eyeliner and pretty skin), she instead finds her brother’s crush tied up in the basement and screaming. And then there’s a gunshot. And then there’s nothing.

(Ballet I Guess) Dolores is the statue formally known as the “Little Dancer of Fourteen Years”. She’s at the museum right near the dance school, and Five visits her nearly every day, talking to her about any and everything. Sometimes Klaus comes with him, or Diego. Five doesn’t know why she’s important - she just is.

(Orchestra & Flamenco Teacher) Leonard is the creepy and perverted orchestra and flamenco teacher. Allison hates him on sight, but loves dancing, and can’t leave. Vanya doesn’t trust him, and he seems hellbent on treating her inappropriately, and Allison wants to fucking throttle him. But she’s sure Five will take care of it. He’s good like that.

(Ballroom Teacher) Hazel teaches ballroom dancing, and has been married to Agnes for almost twenty years now. His best friend and partner is Cha-Cha, and they both secretly work for the Handler, having been given their orders to dismantle Five. They know they’ll have to make him come to them, so they take Five’s favorite person: Klaus. It’s really such a shame that Ben boy found out what was going on and confronted them - he was far too polite to die.

(Break Dance & Hip-Hop Teacher) Cha-Cha probably wants to leave the Umbrella Academy, if she’s really honest with herself. She wants to… I don’t know, buy a boat and fuck off forever. Leave all this stupid shit behind. But now she’s got Ben’s blood on her hands and she can’t undo that, she can’t, and there’s - there’s Eudora, sweet, brave, innocent Eudora, bleeding out on the basement floor while Klaus screams. And Cha-Cha knows Diego - she’s just dug her own grave twice over.

(Ballet & Hula Teacher) Agnes is, on the contrary to most people’s expectations, not an oblivious idiot. She knows exactly what’s going on in her school. She also knows her students can handle themselves.

(First Dean, Tango Teacher) The Handler thinks she’s got all her secrets well under wraps. No one knows how many bodies she’s buried, how many students she’s killed… she’s safe from everyone but Five, the little bitch. And she thinks this up until the moment Klaus walks through her office door with a gun in his hand and the smiling ghost of Ben beside him, and realizes, Oh shit.

(Second Dean, Waltz Teacher) Reginald gives no fucks. He’s only teaching here because Pogo says it would be good for him. Granted Reginald thinks Pogo is a bit of an annoying wussy, but nonetheless he’s here. Teaching “secret” assassins how to dance. What a fucking joke.

(Counselor) Grace is everybody’s favorite person. When the school finally falls, she’s the one they all go home to. She only wishes they could learn how to dance without weapons beneath their skirts.

This turned out way darker than I intended and I am not sorry.

#tua #the umbrella academy #kliego #eudorla #eudora x lila #ralluther #ray x allison x luther #hazel x agnes #vanya x sissy #klaus &x ben #five &x dolores #diego & eudora & lila #hazel & cha-cha #yes i had to look up types of dance for this what do you want from me #the hargreeves #the hargreeves siblings #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #reginald hargreeves #grace hargreeves #the handler #lila pitts #eudora patch #pogo #leonard peadbody / harold jenkins