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awesomerextyphoon · 4 months

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Realm Discoveries While Hangry

Summary: Ife's not herself while hangry, especially on a mission. Luckily, this one worked out for the best.

Pairing: Slight Steve Rogers x Black!Alien Warrior Princess OFC Ifekerenma aka Ife

Characters: Natasha, Steve, Ifekerenma, Nick Fury, OFCs, mentions of Tony Stark and Bruce Banner

Rating: 18 + / Mature

Word Count: 1.9K

Warnings: Dark Comedy Bordering on Absurdity, Ife being a Badass Glutton, Some Violence, Some Fluff

A/N: This is the start of something a little different. I want to make some short stories that will tie back into the main series whenever I'm between chapters. I'm still working on the main series and the next chapter will be published before the end of 2023. Thanks to @firefly-graphics for the dividers!

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

What was with these supposed 'geniuses' always wanting to rule the world?

The amount of hubris one needed to go through with it never ceased to amaze Natasha. This week's version wanted revenge on the science community for calling him 'stupid' and 'crazy' over his theories on creating titan fauna and megaflora.

Someone, please shoot me.

If Nat had a dollar each time she heard some version of the 'Why I must hold the world hostage' speech, she'd be able to bribe Tony to let her control the music for mission trips.

Steve wished they would drop the speeches already. He just hoped Ife was almost done with the power cells so they could drop the charade and go home.

"Now! Watch as I claim what's rightfully mine!" the mad scientist finally finished his speech by pressing the detonation button, but nothing happened.

" What's happening? Why isn't working?!"He pressed the button another three times to no effect, "Why aren't the missiles firing?!"

The mad scientist was about to radio his henchmen outside of the main chamber when he heard bullets pouring like rain outside the hangar followed by frantic shouts from his men.

"SOMEONE STOP HER!!"

"NOTHING'S WORKING!!"

"GET THE TANKS!!"

"FIRE AT WILL!!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE?!!"

"SHE'S AN ABOMINATION!!"

"What on Earth is going on out there?" He wondered as he carefully made his way to the entrance, only for a downright beastly roar frightening nearly everyone into silence.

"What the" A soft knock at the hangar doors broke his concentration.

Ife was pissed.

She FINALLY had some decent food after not getting a chance to refuel after expending her energy reserves from her last mission, but it was barely a morsel. It took no time to devour all of the titan fauna the henchmen unleashed on her, unaware those were inferior albeit still tasty versions of food from her homeworld. She even found some yummy megaflora.

It was a bummer Ife was famished. She would've prepared them better to bring out their flavors.

Another tank shell bounced off of her.

When will these fools learn that this is pointless? Conventional Earth weapons are nothing to her. Well, at least the energy from their artillery aided with digestion. Also, the power cells were tasty; they had a refreshing tropical fruity taste with notes of mint.

Now the scientist refused to open up, even after she knocked, "Guess I'll have to let myself in."

The scientist tried his best to steel himself, only for the two-meter thick air hangar doors and part of the solid stone walls to rip off like cheap wrapping paper.

His eyes almost bugged out of their sockets at the intruder — a tall woman — casually lifting both doors in one hand and a 250-ton tank in the other. The woman turned to two tied-up Avengers, smiled, and threw both items 1500 meters away with a flick of her wrists.

"Hi, Captain, Black Widow. How's it going?"

"Can't complain," Steve answered.

"Why haven't you escaped yet? It would've taken you two seconds to get out," Ife queried rubbing her growling tummy. Her telltale sign of hunger.

"We were waiting for you," Nat retorted while raising an eyebrow.

This will be fun.

"What happened to your comms link?"

"Well…I was preoccupied."

"With what?"

The woman's eyes brightened, "I found some yummy food not unlike Avlenia, but they barely did anything for me. I ate everything the goons unleashed and then some, but I'm still hungry! Which sucks cuz I wasn't able to properly prepare them-"

That can't be right.

That chamber housed hundreds of exotic beasts and flora with a combined weight of 312.5 THOUSAND TONS!! There was no way a single person could eat one of those behemoths, let alone all of them.

"MONSTER!!"

"Huh?" Ife finally noticed the scientist and his remaining goons.

"Do you have any more? I'm STARVING!"

"No one should eat one of those beasts, let alone all of them!"

Ife raised an annoyed eyebrow. "Maybe not possible for humans, but, "she strolled towards the scientist and started unzipping her combat suit, "that was only a snack for me, and it left me hungry for more."

The scientist cried out in horror when a belly 3x the size of an exercise ball surged forth.

How is she moving?! His eyes darted over to her comrades but found them lightly chuckling with the spy sporting a smirk.

"So, do you have any more food? Don't leave me in suspense."

The monster rolled her eyes at the rude man's silence, "So you still don't believe me. Okay. Let's see. One of the beasts was this large six-legged alligator…"

She started listing the various beasts and megaflora that were now digesting in her rapidly shrinking belly.

Galala Gator: 90 tons each, Ox Chicken: 15 tons each, Giant Turkey: 75 tons each, Volcano Weathercock: 10 tons each, Five-Tailed Giant Eagle: 45 tons each, Demon Devil Serpent:100 tons each, Elephantsaurus: 125 tons each, and so on.

Every 'food item' this monster blithely listed horrified everyone besides her teammates who were trying not to laugh. Each of these specimens took elite teams to capture; several men died in the process.

Yet this Eldritch Being glutted all of their hard-won gains as a 'pitiful snack'!

"How? How is this possible?" The devastated scientist barely choked out a whisper as her enormous belly was nearly flat.

Unfortunately, the monster's sharp ears heard the whisper, "All of those delicious beasts, flora, and the energy from the power cells barely made a dent! Tell me where you got this bounty! I'm Starving!"

As if to make her point, the monster turned her head towards the hole she made and let out a near-deafening roar of a belch demolishing what was left of the wall and pushing back all of the remaining men and tanks outside.

What is this monstrosity?!

"Shit!" Not only did the wimp not answer Ife's question, but now he's slumped on the floor.

"He's out cold, Ife."

"I can see that, Nat. All I wanted was some more food!"

"Some?"

"Fine. But you know he didn't make them from scratch. He had to have gotten from somewhere."

Some of the stronger-nerved goons were able to recover from Ife's Roar, "Damn, that woman's scary!"

"Nah, man. She's a monster in human skin."

"Which is a shame, too. She's fucking hot!"

"I know, right?! Wouldn't mind going a few rounds with her."

Steve scowled as he marched up to six of the trash-talking goons inside one of the still intact tanks, ripped off the tank's hatch, and yanked four of them by their collars."I'm only gonna say this once. Never, and I mean never, say that crap about my team. Especially the 'abomination', got it?" his voice never rising above a calm, measured tone.

"Yes!"

Steve felt he needed to drive this home, "Yes, what?"

"Yes, Sir!"

"Good."

Nat rolled her eyes at Ife's bashful body posture at Steve defending her. They weren't fooling anyone.

Ife was able to pick up the scent of more delectable beasts and flew off to satisfy her voracious appetite. The scent came from a fortified bunker not far from the main base. She ripped off the building by the foundation in her haste to fill her hunger void.

It led her to a heavily fortified manmade cavern with a huge portal at the opposite end of the entrance and containment units housing even more of the delectable beasts lining the sides.

She licked her lips in excitement but stopped when she got a good look at the animals. That craven of a scientist is lucky she's too hungry to revisit him.

"I should probably tell Nat and Steve."

Nat peered into the last unlocked containment unit. She found a giant garden snake-like creature that seemed to take a liking to her. Its scales were the color of twilight at its height. She wondered if-

"You should name her."

Nat nearly swiveled her head, "What?"

"She likes you. You should name her."

"How can you tell?"

"I just know," Ife shrugged.

"Hmm. How about сумерки (Sumerki: twilight)?"

The snake affectionately rubbed her head against the reinforced glass containment wall.

"See? She loves it!"

Sumerki was the last beast on this side of the portal and was about to pass through but turned and playfully poked Ife's midsection.

"You want me to come with you?" The snake nodded.

Ife turned back to Steve and Nat, "Umm, can I-" her stomach roared asking the question for her.

"It's alright, Ife. You can go, but don't be long." Steve rubbed his hand behind his head. Neither of them wanted to deal with a hangry Ife.

Ife flew into his warm embrace, "Thank you so much!" She kissed both his cheeks, "I promise to document everything I see!"

When will those lovable dorks admit they love each other?

It wasn't long before Ife and Sumerki came back smiling and sporting enormous food bellies. Ife sped off before she could say anything. The next thing they heard was a five-minute sonic roar of a belch causing mini-tremors and cracks forming on the ground.

Sounds of her epic belch were heard 15km away.

They were glad that the scientist was stationed in the middle of nowhere.

Ife flew back into Steve's arms, "Thanks again!" Ife smiled as Steve returned the hug.

Both Natasha and Sumerki shook their heads wearing the same expression.

Ife pulled out her tablet and personal interface, "Okay, so my hunch was right and this place is incredibly vast. I was only able to explore .25% of the place."

Even Natasha was taken aback by the amount of information Ife had, "Just how big is this place?"

"So this new 'realm' is called Guloxity?"

Fury turned the last page of Ife's extensive report. He had a laugh at her devouring over 300K tons of food and was still famished.

The whole team had a laugh riot. Tony even joked about how much he'd save on grocery bills—even though she provides most of her food. It's the least he could do since he blackmailed her into joining the team.

Thanks to her, SHIELD has access to a new realm. Plus the snake she and Natasha befriended has been a delight. However, he did wonder how Ife and her friends were able to create a habitat and a size modulator so quickly.

"Do you find the terms agreeable?" Aliza looked back at Fury's desk. The deal stipulates that any findings and all findings SHIELD makes involving the new realm must be free and open to the public. This means that all patents and research can not be owned by any single nation or corporation including Stark Industries.

Banner had consoled Stark when he read out the terms.

No matter. Fury had his best people on this new venture. Even managed to rope in Banner and Dr. Cho. Ife was able to recreate the unique energy signature from the mad scientist's power cells as a source of renewable energy.

In the end, he was glad it worked out.

Now what's this about Ife showcasing new dishes based on what she found in Guloxity?

Taglist: @jobean12-blog @lookiamtrying @angrythingstarlight @gotnofucks @saiyanprincessswanie @navybrat817 @plaid-shirtsandvibranium-arms @idorkish @sgt-seabass

#steve rogers x ofc #steve rogers #steve rogers fic #steve rogers au #steve rogers x black!ofc #natasha romanoff #mcu fanfiction #mcu fantic #a warrior's heart #side story #steve rogers imagine #natasha romanov imagine #mcu au #marvel fanfic #marvel au #black widow #comedy #dark humor

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marce-farce · 2 months

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never did read the books but i've been really into the tumblr tag lately

#warrior cats #hollyleaf #i think its pretty cool that she killed that guy #despite being a huge cat fan i was a really sensitive kid and also couldnt read #even now you guys are breaking my heart with your clangens

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magic-pistachio · 2 months

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[image description: digital art cover for ivypool's heart. text: warriors, below says "ivypool's heart" and the bottom text reads "Erin Hunter #1 New York Times Bestselling Author." The image is a silver tabby cat with white fur and dark blue eyes. the cat looks very tired and very scarred. the background is a dark purple and blue night sky]

did my own ivypools heart :) tried to make her look a lil old, super scarred, and super tired.

#wc #warriors #ivypool #ivypool's heart

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dragondawdles · 24 days

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did a piece in the LU server's gift exchange ! something of survival and reunions and smug little shadowguys

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juniper-clan · 5 months

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MOON ONE (March 1701)

PREVIOUS l NEXT

#clangen #warrior cats #clangen warrior cats #warriors oc #wc #wc oc #warrior cats clangen #Clangen challenge #jcmoons #I promise it’ll get a lil more light hearted soon

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arohollyleaf · 4 months

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J'entends des voix Mais ce n'est pas moi Je ne suis pas Jeanne d'Arc!

#warriors fan likes joan of arc by arcade fire. big surprise. anyways hope you like this one I had fun with it #warrior cats #dovewing #my art #scopohobia tw #ask to tag #<- for the heart. it's traced from an anatomy drawing and not very realistic so it's not gore but idk how to tag that lol

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dodgedriftdietrying · 1 year

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#sins speaks #sappho #sapphic #lesbian #wlw #media #polls #debs #blue is the warmest color #adventure time #xena warrior princess #but im a cheerleader #desert hearts #revolutionary girl utena #the l word #orange is the new black #bend it like beckham

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ambriel-angstwitch · 2 months

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Iroh: Zuko, where'd you get that bruise?

Zuko: *flashback to falling off a rooftop while talking with Sokka*

Zuko: i'm in a gang, uncle

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dogrocks · 7 months

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an au where dovewing trains in the dark forest instead of ivypool....

#draws #warrior cats #dovewing #ivypool #dovewing still has her powers and all that but the df decides to manipulate her instead. seeing how she could be a lot of use to them #she knows what she's doing by siding with them because she resents being part of a prophecy against her will #along with other things like lion and jay looking down at her. feeling replaced by hollyleaf etc #and is like well at least i'm liked for who i am here. and by the time she realises they're using her as well she's kinda in too deep #turned one of the prophecy cats against them. she gets redeemed in the end though because i heart her #idk what role ivypool would play in this au maybe she still spies by sneaking into the df since dovewing probably wouldn’t do it

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m5or · 29 days

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I love the fannon that Time calls Twi "Pup" as an affectionate, playful nickname and tease. continuing that train of thought.. I think that there is this golden opportunity when Time fully realizes that Twilight is his descendant by blood. The thought would cross his mind that possibly Twi is named after him, HIM. As of now, he is Link Sr, and I think that would be a soft spot for Time's heart. Link Sr has a Link Jr. Seeing as they use their shared name LINK for something that absolutely demands attention. Link Sr would call out "Link Jr" with the same energy as a parent saying your full name. Wind smugly "Oooh you're in trouble" I can believe that is how he told Malon that they have a descendant "Hey guess what, I am Link Sr now. Yes, we have a Jr, it's one of these boys. Guess which one it is".

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wellofdean · 1 month

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Here's what sticks in my craw: why ON EARTH does fanon imagine that Cas has 'self-esteem issues' and experiences his love for Dean as a wet, miserable kind of yearning? What is it about any part of anything that happens on Supernatural makes anyone think that Cas, a cosmic, Eldritch being, a warrior of god, who literally hung the stars and has existed for a bazillion years, is reduced to teenage angst by Dean's pussy?

Like, when Cas says "the one thing I want I know I can't have" why do y'all think it's a piece of Dean's ass? Why does ANYONE think Cas doesn't know Dean loves him? Dean has shown Cas he loves him with literally everything he has again and again and again. Even the way Dean feels like Cas can absorb his anger is Dean showing Cas love and trust. Cas and Dean have chosen each other, forgiven each other, and been the only reliable thing in each others' lives over, and over and over again. Cas fucking knows that Dean loves him. Cas can literally hear Dean's thoughts, and feel his yearning. Cas was only saying the quiet part out loud when he said he loved Dean, because it was already obvious! If there was anyone feeling wet and lovesick, it would be DEAN, if he ever had a break in the battle to fucking feel things, which he did not.

Like, hear me out: what if the one thing Cas knows he can't have is the one thing he knows he signed over to the empty? His happiness, and by extension, Dean's, because he knows Dean loves him? What if Cas is saying: I know I can't have this thing I want for myself: to be the one to MAKE YOU HAPPY, but I can save you, and maybe Cas's belief in Dean is such that he still hopes and believes Dean will find a way to make himself happy if he lives.

After Cas's death, Dean is trying to live for him. Trying to be what Cas believed he was. It's what CANONICALLY gives Dean the strength to defeat Chuck by not killing him! And, after Dean's death, he CANONICALLY goes in search of happy endings. Like... THAT IS EXPLICITLY STATED.

I AM HAVING AN ALL CAPS MOMENT, SO SUE ME.

Guys, Cas is not a wet, yearning baby who needs Dean to say or do ANYTHING to validate his love. HE KNOWS. He is a being of unimaginable age and power. He is not beleaguered by self-esteem issues, or the need to tongue-wrestle Dean. Like, he might WANT TO, but he CANONICALLY does not need to in order to experience a happiness so complete that it puts paid to his deal. His happiness is THAT NOW DEAN ALSO KNOWS, and he can tell Dean why, and show him who he is in the mirror of that love.

Also, he is not dead, he is just on another plane of existence, and neither is Dean. Cas is a profoundly unselfish badass. He is not fucking PINING. He made a play, the best one he had. He is a strategist, and he knows Dean BY HEART.

#spn #spnwin #castiel #angel of the lord #destiel #dean winchester #cas is not a wet yearning baby in a trenchcoat #he is a warrior and a strategist #and he already knows dean's heart #what if love was a strength #not a weakness?#isn't that THE WHOLE POINT?

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awesomerextyphoon · 8 months

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Chaotic Good Trio

Pepper: Do you know why you're here, today?

Ife: We're good people?

Pietro: This country's bullshit?

Loki: I'm just here for the chaos.

Ife: Loki!

Pepper: At least one of you is being honest.

Ife: Fine! What we did was 'wrong'.

Pietro: Really?!

Pepper: Ife, you can at least *try* being sincere.

Ife: Never.

Pietro: I mean, what did wasn't even that bad.

Pepper: Let's review, shall we?

Loki: She brought out the binder.

Pepper: Ife. You stole $15B from the Waltons, set fire to Blackstone's New York HQ, bought and destroyed 15 private equity groups-

Pietro. Nice!

Pepper: Why me? Plastered "Jeff's a Big, Whiny Loser" on Bezos' DC mansion, caused no less than 18 derailments political fundraisers in DC.

Ife: Is that really the worse thing in the world?

Pepper: You have 464 more entries.

Pietro: Hah!

Pepper: Maximoff, don't act like you're innocent! 12 cases of arson against police stations including the NYPD. Multiple Financial Sectors reporting of 'impossible gusts of wind' followed by their mortgage records being wiped out.

Pietro: What? Those places are evil!

Pepper: Hmm Okay. So Loki, care to explain why several museums are missing their entire collection of Norse artifacts?

Ife: He's not wrong.

Loki: Plus their lobbies are atrocious.

Loki: Those belong to my people and our followers.

Ife: Oh! So only the Norse get to take their shit back?!

Loki: You're just mad you didn't do it first!

Pepper: Several yachts have been 'ceremoniously sunk'. Sixty billionaires including the Kardashians have complained about the electricity in their homes being turned off.

Loki: It was rerouted. Also, Kim is insufferable.

Pepper: Enough! You three have enough potential charges to ruin the team!

Loki: Technically, ye-

Pepper: There's no 'technically' to it!

Ife: What Loki means is that while these things look bad now, it was in service of a lot of good.

Loki: The money that we 'stole' was given back to those who were wronged.

Pietro: You know full well that the police are thugs of the state.

Pepper: And it vexes you to no end that people call y'all cops, right?

Pietro: ...Yes.

Ife: Blackstone and other private equity firms have millions of houses in 'holding'! Houses that could be peoples' homes!

Loki: Also, why are you acting like we're the only ones doing this?

Pepper: You three are the most egregious.