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avatar-anna · 11 months

Note

Aaaah i am so deep in my Harry feels and you write him so perfectly…

So i have a request !

Something i cannot get out of my mind are the lines from as it was “Answer the phone, "Harry, you're no good alone why are you sittin' at home on the floor?What kind of pills are you on?" … and maybe the reader just got home and she’s the one saying that to Harry? Idk …

Anyway i love how you write ❤️ stay golden !

Grief Fic, Part One

so, this turned into a really long fic that's full of angst (perhaps too much). part of me wanted to make it even longer, but i think i ended it at the right point where i could come back to it if people wanted me to.

Part Two

tw: mentions of death, depression, grieving

"Harry? You here?" you called, walking across the threshold of your friend's house. Looking down, you ruffled the hair of the little girl who came in with you. Her hands gripped the straps of her backpack as she skipped into the house, clearly not bothered by the band-aid on her knee or the cut beneath it.

She looked around and called out for her dad, who either didn't hear it or couldn't find it on him to respond. When the skip in her step faltered and a look of confusion and hurt began to creep onto her face, you helped her out of her backpack and said, "Why don't you go upstairs, kiddo? Change out of your uniform? We can decide what to do for dinner after. Your pick."

You hoped that the distraction of getting to pick what they ate for dinner tonight would be enough, but she still seemed rather subdued compared to how cheery she sounded as she talked about her day at school on the drive home. "Okay."

She scurried off to her room upstairs, leaving you alone in the big kitchen that hardly got used anymore. When the young girl was gone, you called out to Harry again, stepping further into the house. You eventually found him in his studio, but he wasn't working.

"Jesus, H. I can't leave you alone for five minutes," you muttered, picking the bottle of whiskey off the floor and screwing the cap back on before setting it on a high shelf where he wouldn't think to reach for it.

Harry himself was sitting on the carpeted floor of his studio, staring blankly at nothing in particular. This wouldn't be the first time you found him in a similar state, but each time you hoped it would be the last.

"Is Harper alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, she's upstairs," you said.

"Thank you for picking her up again today," he said, still not looking at you.

You sat down next to him, draping your arms over your knees as you crossed your legs together. "No problem. I knew you were supposed to be working today, which leads me to my next question. Why are you sitting in here alone? I thought today was a writing session?"

"Cancelled. Didn't feel up to it today."

Harry didn't feel up to much of anything these days. It was understandable, to an extent. You knew he was going through a lot, but it wasn't just him he had to look out for. Harper needed her dad, now more than ever.

"Was it...anything in particular?" you asked gently. Sometimes Harry got cagey when you asked him about his current situation. He would snap or get defensive or ignore you completely. You'd known him for so many years, but in the span of a few months, you had to relearn how to talk to him. "Yesterday you seemed excited to work."

Harry shrugged, which drew your attention to his narrow shoulders. He hasn't been eating, you thought. You quickly scanned his face, and looking past the obvious unkempt facial hair and dark circles, you noticed his features were more pronounced, eyes sunken in some. You thought he was doing better, you thought he was healing.

"Harry," you said when he didn't respond.

Ever so gently, you rested a hand on his arm. His skin was cold as ice, and pale. So unlike the warmth and sunny glow it used to carry. The person in front of you was a shell of the man he once was, and you didn't know how to bring him back.

"Do you know what kind of pills you're on? If they're not working, the doctor can prescribe something else," you said.

"It's not the pills," he murmured. "I just...I just don't know how to function without her."

So you're not taking them, you thought but didn't say. Instead, you gave Harry's hand a gentle squeeze. "I know."

"I don't want to function without her. I—I can't do anything else but exist, and even that's exhausting."

Harry's voice was heavy with emotion, his eyes downcast as he stared at the band around his finger.

You were aware of the dangerous waters he was wading into, and the pressure to keep him from drowning suddenly crushed your chest. You'd already said all the typical platitudes—it'll get better with time, she wouldn't want you to live like this, Harper needs you. Sometimes they were enough to get him out of the house or to sit down on the couch with Harper to watch a movie, but it would only last so long, and recently Harry's mood improvement would dwindle faster and faster. You did what you could to help by taking care of Harper and checking in on Harry everyday, but he was starting to scare you.

"Daddy?"

Your head whipped around to where Harper was standing by the door of the studio. At eight years old, she looked just like Harry with bright green eyes and dimpled cheeks and curly hair. But she looked like her mother too, and though it was nearly imperceptible, you saw the bob of Harry's Adam's apple when he looked at her.

"Hi sweetheart," he said, not standing up to go over to her.

Harper waited by the door, waiting for Harry to do more. To ask about her day or tell her about his or go over to her or something. But he didn't, like he was too exhausted to move.

"Can we—Can we go to the park? The sun is still out and I finished all my homework."

"Y/n can take you," Harry said.

"Or we can watch a movie? Or—"

"Harper, I think Dad is tired. Why don't we—"

"He's always tired!" Harper said suddenly. "He never wants to spend time with me or talk to me! Why are you acting like this!" She went over to Harry and began to shake his shoulders, her cheeks red and eyes imploring. "Wake up! Wake up!"

Harry didn't do anything at first, letting his daughter shake him and pound her fists against his chest. Your eyes welled with tears and your throat tightened as you watched, caught between pulling Harper off and letting her get her emotions out, half hoping it would stir something in her father. It didn't.

"I hate you! I want mom!" she finally said when Harry was still practically catatonic.

He said nothing, but you could see the tears in his eyes as she stormed off, flinching when he heard the door to her room slam two floors up. His shoulders shook of their own volition then, accompanied by tears and sobbing.

"She didn't mean it," you said, pulling him into your chest. Harry's grip was tight despite his lack of nourishment as he continued to cry, warm tears bleeding through your shirt. "She's dealing with this too."

"I don't know how to be what she needs," he sobbed. "I don't think I can."

Your heart broke for the two people you loved most in this world. You'd tried so hard to help Harry and Harper, to take care of her while he got back on his feet. But he hadn't, and now you felt like you were standing at a crossroads.

"I think it might be time to—" you stopped, getting choked up yourself, "to maybe go somewhere."

That got his attention enough to stop crying for a moment. "Go somewhere?"

"I've...looked into a couple places," you said gingerly. "Facilities. Where you can rest and get better and meet with grief counselors and groups. Get the help that you need, you know?"

When Harry's wife died, you obviously didn't expect him to bounce back right away, but you also didn't anticipate the state he was in now. Everyone grieved differently, you knew that, but his grief was all-consuming, slowly eating away at him and leaving him hollow. You did what you could to support him and Harper, but you had your own life, your own job, which was starting to become less and less understanding every time you left early to pick Harper up from school. You did it all happily and willingly because you loved both of them, but none of you could keep going like this.

"I'm not sick," he said. "I'm not an addict. I don't need to go to rehab."

"I love you, H, and I'm worried about you," you said. You put your hands on either side of his face so he had to look you directly in the eye. "Harper loves you, and she wants you to be her dad. You have so many people that love and care for you, Harry, and we all want you to be okay again."

"My wife died, Y/n. I'm never going to be okay again," he said, pulling away from you harshly, voice sharp. "How can you say that? You really think it's so easy? The mother of my child is gone, and she can never come back, and you what? You want me to just forget about her? Forget what we had? I bet you'd love that wouldn't you. That's probably why you've been so eager to 'help' Harper and me. Don't think for one second that you could ever replace her. So just go!"

It didn't matter that you knew this outburst was one of rage filled grief, but that didn't mean it hurt any less. You felt like you'd been slapped, like Harry had reached his hand into your chest and crushed your heart. That was never your intention. Harry was a friend, a dear one, but a friend just the same. And Harper was your goddaughter. You couldn't just sit by and let the two people you considered family fall apart.

But maybe you weren't who he needed.

"I know you think you'll never be okay again, but you will," you said quietly. "Because you love Harper, you will be. One day you'll stop resenting her for not being Sophia, and one day you'll stop resenting Sophia for leaving you. It'll always hurt, I know that, but one day it'll hurt a little less."

You stood up from the floor and smoothed your trousers, sniffling a little. Harry had gone back to staring blankly, but the tight clench of his jaw told you he was listening. "Bye, H."

You didn't leave right away. You made a phone call to his mom first, asking her to stay with Harry and Harper, not explaining why you couldn't be the one to check up on them anymore. Anne had asked you to keep an eye on the pair after she went back home after staying at Harry's place for a month. You'd already planned on doing so, but you agreed. Now the tough love needed to come from someone else. When Anne told you she was on her way, you went upstairs to Harper's room to check on her.

She was crying on her bed, her body curled into a ball around a stuffed animal. Sighing, you walked over to her and sat on the corner of her bed and soothed her back with your hand. "I know you didn't mean that, Harper Rose."

"Why is he acting like that?" she cried, not looking up at you. "Why won't he play with me anymore? Or take me to school?"

"He..." You didn't even know what to say to make this better. "Your dad is...sick."

"Like my mom was?" Harper asked. She sat up, her little face red from crying.

"Not—Not quite," you said, trying not to get choked up. Sophia had been a dear friend to you too. "His heart hurts so much that he can't, or doesn't know how to...function properly. Does that make sense?"

Harper nodded as she wiped a tear from her eye. "He's heartbroken."

"I think so."

She didn't say anything for a minute, as if she was processing that information about Harry. Then, "Does that mean I love my mom less if I'm not heartbroken like that?"

Her words made you pinch your arm to hold back your tears. It wasn't fair to Harper that she had to deal with all of this at a young age; she didn't deserve to have these thoughts or ask these questions, and selfishly, a part of you deep down felt you didn't deserve to answer them.

"No, of course not, kiddo. Your dad just—you and your dad loved her differently. And I think part of him is sad that you lost your mom and not just that he lost his wife."

"I don't understand," she said, her voice trembling. "When will he be normal again?"

"Do you think you'll feel normal again?" you asked her gently. Harper shrugged, more tears silently leaking out of the corners of her eyes. "People's hearts and minds react differently when someone dies. And right now, your dad's mind is telling him not to get out of bed or take care of himself or take care of you. It doesn't make sense to you or me, but it makes sense to him."

"Oh." Harper looked contemplative again, her eyes trained on the yellow patterned bedspread beneath her. Everything in her room was some shade of yellow—walls, curtains, lampshades, the sun behind the bedframe that Sophia painted—everything was made to feel warm and inviting. "What do we do now? How do we help him?"

"Well, what do you do when you're sick?"

"Go to a doctor."

"That's right," you said. "He's gonna go to the doctor, and the doctor will tell us what we should do. And in the meantime, you just keep loving your dad, okay? You're allowed to be angry and frustrated and sad, but never stop loving him. It might not look like it, but knowing you love him helps."

"Okay," Harper said.

"I called your grandma. She's gonna come stay with you for a little while while your dad gets better. She'll take you to school and pick you up and make you all sorts of treats with you."

"Why can't you take me to school?" she asked.

"I have to work," you explained. "But, if you need anything, you know my number. Just call me and I'll be there, okay? But you and Grandma will have fun, you always do."

You stayed in Harper's room until she fell asleep, smoothing her hair with your hand once more before standing up from the bed. You planned to stay until Anne arrived, but you figured you could tidy up and get the guest bedroom ready in the meantime. By the time she walked through the door, the guest room had been made up and the kitchen was squeaky clean. Harry never came out of his studio, or he went up to his room without you noticing but you were fine with that. You wouldn't have known what to say to him anyway.

You gave Anne the names of doctors and grief groups for Harry, and the name of a good child psychiatrist for Harper. You'd been meaning to set up a meeting for her, but you hadn't had the time, and it also wasn't really your place and you didn't want to overstep. Anne gave you a long hug before you left, thanking you for taking care of her family. Having someone hug you for once instead of the other way around was overwhelming, and you almost started crying right there in her arms.

But you held yourself together for a few more minutes as you pulled away. You promised to check in and help wherever and whenever you could, then you left, slightly relieved that Harry and Harper's well-being wasn't solely on your shoulders anymore and partly sad that you weren't able to help them more.

The first few weeks, you didn't come around the house as much, giving Harry his space. You met Harper at the park when your work schedule allowed it and had her over to your place for sleepovers when she asked.

Anne kept you in the loop, even when there wasn't much to report—Harper met regularly with a counselor and Harry didn't, Harper didn't wake up crying in the middle of the night as much and Harry still wasn't going back to work. Part of you felt like Harry needed more tough love than coddling at this point. You knew he wouldn't actually go to therapy unless you dragged him by the ear or eat something if you didn't sit with him until he was done. But it wasn't your place to dictate how he was helped, so you kept your mouth shut whenever Anne said he wasn't getting any better.

However, that all changed when Harry collapsed. He was so weak from not eating, he physically couldn't hold himself up. Or so Anne claimed. You didn't want to, but part of you thought there might have been some intention behind Harry's actions, or lack thereof. That was when you knew things had to change. If this were a movie, then that moment was the point of no return, and you weren't going to let Harry destroy himself anymore.

"If you get him in a car, I'll take care of the rest," you said to Anne the day after. She'd been apprehensive, but you insisted that this was the right choice. "He can't just sit alone on the floor of his studio all day. Either we do this now or his grief wins."

So it was settled. You didn't know how she did it, but Anne somehow got Harry up and in the passenger seat of your car. He clearly was not pleased by the whole thing, but with his lack of eating, he was no match for you or his mother.

"Where are we going?" he asked, arms folded angrily.

"My place."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not going to let Harper witness your path of self-destruction. You wanna die? You don't want to take care of yourself? Then you can do it at my place instead of in front of your daughter."

It was harsh, but Harry hadn't been particularly amicable these last few days. According to Anne, instead of catatonic, he was rude, his words sharp as a knife and just as cutting. His mother didn't deserve to deal with that, and neither did Harper, but you could handle him. Whether he liked it or not.

"Fuck you," he muttered.

"Fuck you," you replied simply.

Harry didn't say anything else the rest of the ride to your house, which was completely fine by you. You had a plan in place for Harry's stay, but you went over it again and again in your head, hoping it would work. You had Harry's meds, which he had not been taking, you picked out a grief group for him to attend, or one-on-one counseling if he didn't want to go to group therapy, you worked out a schedule that made sure Harry was constantly doing something rather than withering away on your couch. But first...

"You need a shower. I'm not living with you while you smell like that. And brush your teeth too."

"I thought you didn't care what I did," he said, begrudgingly following you into your house. It was much smaller than his, but that was for the better. It would be easier to keep an eye on him in close quarters.

"Don't be ridiculous, Harry. We all care about what happens to you," you said, leading him down the hall to your small guest room and bathroom were.

You gestured toward the bathroom when he set his small duffle bag on the bed, but he stayed where he was. "No."

"No?"

"You and my mum can drag me around and make me sleep in a different bed, but you can't force me to take medication, you can't force me to go to therapy, you can't force me to live," Harry spat. You took it on the chin, eyeing the way it seemed exhausting for him to just raise his voice at you. "I'm not a child, and I'm not one of your patients, so leave me the fuck alone."

"Lord, give me strength," you muttered to yourself before storming over to him.

You grabbed Harry by the collar of his sweatshirt and pulled him into the bathroom, where you promptly began to pull his layers off one by one.

"What the fuck?" Harry said, too surprised to fend you off, and too weak as well. "Get off of me!"

"You are a stubborn asshole," you spat, letting all the anger and frustration from the last few weeks seep into your voice. Once Harry was down to his underwear and socks, you quickly turned the shower on and pushed him in, holding your forearm against his chest as water sprayed both of you. "And selfish. You are a parent, Harry, you can't afford to fall apart, especially not in front of Harper. You can't do this to her. I won't let you."

Harry struggled against you, but not as much. He looked furious for having brought up Harper, though. But you kept going, needing to say everything that had been rattling around in your brain since he snapped at you.

"Sophia is gone, H," you said, voice gentle but firm.

"Shut up—"

"And it hurts. I can't imagine how much it hurts to lose your wife, but I—I know how it feels to lose a parent." Your voice began to waver, but you willed yourself to calm down. You didn't talk about it much, but you could relate to the situation at hand better than most. It was part of the reason why you helped Harry and Harper out so much. "Harper is strong and brave and charismatic. She's all the good things Soph was. Stop punishing her for it and celebrate it. She needs you, H. If you can't find it in yourself to get better for you, do it for your daughter. Don't do this to her."

Harry was crying by then, and you were too. Water sprayed the both of you, but he wasn't straining against you anymore. When it felt like he was starting to slide against the tiles to sit down, you didn't let him. "Don't do that," you said, using all your strength to hold him up. "Don't let it consume you. Lean on me if you have to, but don't—don't sit down."

To your surprise, he didn't. Harry let you give him a scrub down, starting with his hair and then sponging his body with soap. You left his briefs on for his sake. As a nurse, you were used to seeing every part of the body, but Harry was your friend, not a patient. When you were done, you left him to dry off with a towel and dress with the instruction to be in the kitchen for dinner in twenty minutes. You didn't have to say what you would do if he didn't come. Harry got a dose of how forceful you could be very quickly.

So he came out of his room, and the two of you ate in complete silence. You didn't mind the quiet and were content to let Harry figure out whatever was going on in his head. You did keep an eye on him, though, making sure he didn't push his food around and actually ate it. He did, thankfully; you really didn't want to have to spoon-feed him too.

"Tomorrow I set up a group therapy session in town. It's super confidential, so you don't have to worry about that, but—"

"No."

"No? Really? We're doing this again?" you asked, only half joking.

"I don't want to go to group therapy," he said, and you could practically taste his displeasure for it across the table.

"Well, I thought you might say that, so I also scheduled one-on-one counseling, though I thought you might prefer the group. Less opportunities to talk when there are multiple people in one session." You picked up and quickly washed your plate before setting it down on the drying rack. "Tomorrow's session is at ten. Let me know what you want to do before then, but you're going to one of them. Oh, and you're responsible for cleaning up after yourself. Night."

You left Harry to his own devices after that, deciding to get ready for bed. It was going to be a long few weeks, or however long to get your friend back up on his feet, and you were going to need all the peace of mind you could get.

Three weeks later, Harry was still irritable. You knew he resented you for making him do, well, anything, but he still did them. He went to his group therapy sessions and cleaned up after himself in the kitchen. He just didn't like talking to you. Or acknowledging you. Or looking at you. You were pretty sure all the anger he had about Sophia dying and having to take care of Harper alone was now directed at you. You didn't necessarily mind being his outlet if it meant he was getting out of the house, but it did get exhausting at times. And it made for a very awkward car ride.

"I...can't pick you up from group today," you said as you neared the building where Harry's group sessions were.

"What the hell am I supposed to do then?" he huffed, crossing his arms across his chest like a child.

You gripped the steering wheel tighter so as not to whack him repeatedly on the arm. "Are you really that much of a pampered celebrity that you can't use public transportation? Or your own two feet?"

"Well why the fuck are you signing me up for this shit if you can't take me. I don't even want to go to these stupid meetings."

In a split second, you pulled over and put the car in park. "Get out."

"What?"

"You heard me," you said, the frustration you'd been pushing down the last three weeks finally bubbling to the surface. You'd been patient, you'd done what you thought was right for Harry and his family, but you couldn't be his punching bag anymore. "I've been taking you to these meetings because I want to help you, because I want to help Harper, but you have...kicked and screamed like a child every step of the way, and I—I want you to be better. I want you to be able to handle your emotions in a healthy way, but I—" I give up, you wanted to say, but even you weren't that mean in the midst of your anger. "You're an adult, Harry. I can't force you to go to therapy, so don't. Get out. Do whatever the hell you want."

Harry looked at you for a moment, surprised by your outburst. His mouth was pressed into a hard line, his eyes roving around your face. Searching for what, you weren't sure. Maybe he didn't think you would ever actually kick him out. You gave him as good as he got when he snapped at you, but you never expressly kicked him out. You were pretty sure he was deciding if you were serious or not.

"Out!" you said when he still hadn't opened the door. Now you were going to be late to work.

"Fuck! Fine," he said, then he was opening the door and getting out of the car. It shut with a definitive slam, but you didn't wait around to see Harry glare at you as you rushed back onto the street.

Work sucked, which made your mood that much worse. You normally liked your job at the hospital. It was busy and made you feel like a zombie at the end of most shifts, but the work was rewarding, and you were good at it too. You ran the Labor and Delivery room like a tight ship, everything and everyone had a place. But tonight you were slammed, one issue after another for you to solve. Normally you could handle the stress, but your nerves had been frayed for weeks, and every minor inconvenience didn't feel so minor right now.

Nothing was going your way, patients' families were being bigger assholes than usual, and the charting system was being glitchy. Not to mention you were pulling a double shift, so it was safe to say you were tired out of your mind, irritated, and not as chipper as you normally were amongst the normal amount of stress.

"Y/n, have you taken your lunch yet?"

You looked up from the computer at the nurses' station where one of your coworkers was standing on the other side. "Look at this place, Miranda. When would I have the time?"

The Labor and Delivery wing of the hospital was full of patients, excited family members in the waiting room, OB interns, and nurses trying to maintain order. You could always expect a good number of people in this wing of the hospital, but today was more crowded than usual. In-laws that wanted to be in the delivery room were driving you crazy in a way that they normally didn't, and a surgical intern tried to talk down to you, which tried your practically non-existent patience. It was safe to say that your pink scrubs were very misleading about your disposition today.

Miranda narrowed her eyes at you. "It's thirty minutes."

"I can't. I have to get these charts updated because these idiots we call interns don't know how to—"

"Y/n?"

"God, tell me this is not happening," you muttered before looking up from the computer again. Harry was standing at the nurses' station next to Miranda, who was staring at him with wide eyes. "I can't do this with you right now."

"I know. I just wanted to—"

"I can take your bitching at home, but not here," you said, going back to your computer. Everything you'd felt this morning was still simmering in you, and you didn't want to make a scene at work.

"I just came to apologize," he said, his voice lacking the harsh edge it'd had since he'd been staying with you.

You shook your head and picked up a chart as you began to walk away. "Honestly? I don't have time for that, either, H."

Perhaps you shouldn't have been so flippant, but you were at work, for one. You got into a certain headspace to keep everything and everyone in order, and you couldn't compromise that on a hectic day like this, even if Harry had come to say he was sorry.

"But, Y/n, you still have to take your lunch!" Miranda said.

Stopping in your tracks, you turned back around. Your arms were crossed as you gave Miranda a look, but she just stared right back. She was always the one who looked after you while you looked after everyone else. Sighing, you walked back over to the nurses' station to hand over the chart on your hands. "Ten minutes."

"The law says thirty."

"Fifteen," you amended, then left before Miranda could argue with you. You heard footsteps behind you, and while you knew they were Harry's, you didn't do anything to stop him from following.

The break room was small, just big enough to hold a refrigerator, some cupboards, and a table with a few chairs. You didn't spend much time here, but it did see a lot of foot traffic despite its size.

Sitting down at the table, you rested your head in your hands, your eyes closing for a few seconds now that you let yourself have this short break. Your feet hurt and your head pounded, but you managed to stand up anyway and make yourself a cup of coffee.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, though you weren't really sure you cared. Not right now anyway.

"I wanted to apologize," he said right away, like he was afraid you weren't going to let him speak.

You laughed a little. "Oh? What for?"

You knew you were being difficult, but you couldn't help it. The way Harry treated you had all come to a head this morning, and the shit day at work didn't help your mood, either. Staring at him over the rim of your coffee mug, your heart softened the tiniest bit. He looked like a scolded puppy with his head tilted down and his hands behind his back. It was hard for you to balance the anger you felt for the way he treated you and acknowledge the fact that it was his grief that was making him act this way. There's no wrong way to grieve. It was something you knew and understood, but Harry's grief process didn't make your life any easier.

"I've been...horrible to you," he said, though he still wouldn't look at you. "I—I know you've been trying to help Harper and me, and all I've done was take everything I've felt out on you."

It was hard to find the right words to say. You didn't want to just excuse his behavior by saying he was grieving, but you knew he would never treat you the way he had been otherwise. But that didn't make it hurt any less.

"What made you come to this conclusion?" you decided to ask, curious to know the answer.

Harry smiled sheepishly and chuckled to himself in a way that was embarrassed more than amused. "Therapy. I went after you kicked me out this morning. Thanks for that, by the way."

You couldn't help but grin a little, at the very least because you hadn't seen Harry smile in months. "You're welcome."

"I'm really, really sorry, Y/n," he said once the air in the room sobered again. "I don't know if I could ever say it enough, or express how thankful I am to you for being there for Harper when I couldn't. I'm sorry for all the horrible things I've said and the way I've acted. I, um, I don't magically feel better, but for the first time since Soph died, I want to be."

You believed him when he said that. There was an air about Harry that seemed different than the last few months. And the fact that he was apologizing at all and seemed to have a small grasp of his feelings said a lot. And you wanted to believe him too, for the sake of his own health and happiness as well as Harper's.

"I know it was your grief that made you...act a certain way, but thank you for apologizing," you said.

"Things won't immediately go back to the way they were, I know that, but," Harry said, wiping the corner of his eye. "I wanted to take Harper out to dinner tomorrow night, and I'm hoping you'll join us."

"Not tonight?"

"No. I think I just want to go home and be with my daughter tonight," he said, sounding a little nervous and a little hopeful. "And I'm sure you're sick of me, so I thought I'd let you have a night to yourself."

You took a moment to look at your friend, really look at him. Harry's frame was still narrow, he was paler than usual, and the angles were still a little too sharp and pronounced, but his hair was neat and his eyes were clear, and he just looked different overall.

Standing up, you walked to where Harry was still standing by the entrance to the break room and threw your arms around him. A wave of emotion hit you the second his arms wrapped around you, and you couldn't help the sob that escaped your lips as you held him tight. He felt so frail, like he could blow away with the next breeze. It pained you to feel how everything affected him physically.

"You scared me," you said. Perhaps it was too soon to admit, but you needed to say what had been weighing on your heart since he collapsed. "You pissed me of and drove me insane, but above everything, I was terrified."

Terrified of losing him, terrified of not doing what was right by him or Harper, terrified that he'd never be the same. The fear of losing Harry to his grief kept you up most nights. More than the poisonous words or cold shoulders or childish behavior, you'd been so scared of every worst case scenario it nearly made you sick.

"I'm sorry I've put you through so much. You lost her too."

That made you squeeze Harry even harder. You'd known Sophia first and had been the one to introduce her to Harry. The three of you had been friends for a long time before Harry and Soph had even started dating, and you stayed friends long after. She wasn't your sister, but in a lot of ways she was family, and so were Harry and Harper.

Eventually you pulled away, wiping your eyes and stepping back from his embrace. You felt a little awkward, but lighter too, and hopeful for the future.

"So you'll come? To dinner?" Harry asked, his own eyes lined with tears.

Harry wasn't magically healed. He still had a long road ahead of him to be healthy again, not to mention mending his relationship with Harper. But you decided to believe that he was on the mend, that he was open to getting proper help and taking the right steps to manage his depression.

"It would be my pleasure."

#harry styles #harry styles angst #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #hs angst

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fictionalgap · 5 months

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The Roommate: Too Scared (chapter 2)

Pairing: Hazel Callahan x Reader

Summary: You're too scared of horror movies to a point of not being able to sleep alone after seeing one. PJ dares you to watch a horror movie with them.

Warning: 18+ Themes

Warning: Mentions of alcohol, swearing

Other Chapters: Chapter 1 , Chapter 3, Chapter 4 , Chapter 5

Song recommendation: She - dodie

The next morning you felt much better, thanks to Hazel.

You got up, took a shower and cleaned up your room a little bit before anyone else woke up. You wanted yourself and your room to be fresh and clean.

Your tummy screamed for food and you decided to make pancakes. The smell woke up the other hungry wolves whom didn't even bother to change their pjs.

"Ooooh… Pancakes!" PJ shouted cheerfully, her hands in the air.

"It's still morning PJ!" Josie groaned as she covered her ears. "Morning, Y/N. How do you feel?" Josie looked at you with tired and sympathetic eyes.

"I'm much much better. Like I've never got sick."

"I'm glad to hear that." Hazel appeared behind you. She inspected your face and checked your tempature with back of her hand. Her hand was touching you. Her face was really close. 'She is so fucking pretty.' you thought to yourself as you got lost in her blue orbs.

She must have noticed your way too long staring cause she started to stutter.

"Y-you s-seem bet- better." she backed away a little and you couldn't help but pouted at her getting away.

PJ and Josie looked at each other with knowing smiles.

"Well, I was lucky to have a such a good nurse..." you tried smiled at her warmly. She blushed and averted her gaze.

Then you noticed what you said and turned to the pancakes, trying to hide your blush.

"Aaaah, Hazel mothered you again? How cute." PJ grinned.

Hazel stepped on PJ's foot to stop her from talking.

"Oww!"

You didn't say anything You were too busy blushing and flipping pancakes.

You all ate your pancakes and watched some shitty TV show for almost four hours.

"I'm bored!" PJ groaned loudly.

"You're always bored. But yeah- I'm bored too." Josie said as she sighed.

"I want beer." PJ said and looked lost in thought for a minute. "And shots." She added.

That's how you end up in the middle of the living room, on the carpet and getting dizzy.

And of course It fucking would end up you all playing never have I ever.

"Never have I ever, screamed while watching a scary movie."

You and PJ took shots.

"Really?" Hazel raised her brow with a sided smile.

"PJ screams watching horror movies all the time." Josie stated.

Hazel nodded to Josie then turned to you like she was waiting for an explanation.

"Visual and audial effects really get to me." You explained drowsily.

"Why did we never watch a horror movie? We've been living together for months!"

"Count me out." you said.

"That much?" Hazel raised her eyebrows to your direction.

"Don't be such a pussy." PJ said

"Says the one who screams while watching the movies…" Hazel intervened with a smirk on her face.

"At least, I watch them." PJ rolled her eyes.

You rolled your eyes to what PJ has said.

"We don't have to watch horror movies." Hazel said slowly.

"Yeah, or we won't watch with Y/N."

"As long as I am not a part of it." you stated.

All of you started to get bored so you decided to play truth or dare.

"Truth." you said quickly.

PJ rolled her eyes to your answer. "You always pick the truth. Can you be more boring?"

"Fine! Dare. Are you happy?" you felt overwhelmed.

"Very." PJ grinned in an evil manner.

"I dare you to watch a horror movie with us."

"You…" you gritted your teeth then you felt Hazel's hand on your waist. Her hand draw circles on your back.

She tried to comfort you. You calmed down for a bit.

"You don't have to do it, hun." Hazel whispered to your ear without making it too obvious she was whispering.

PJ was already going through movie options You saw Josie's brow raising and smiling in a knowing manner when her eyes met with Hazel's hand on you waist and whispering into your ear.

You weren't sure of what you've heard but you guessed it was something like 'hun'. Which was short for honey. Which was a pet name.

Hazel just used a pet name on you.

If you haven't imagined it all.

" Hey I heard you! Don't try to discourage her. " PJ shouted.

Josie looked at you as she was waiting for your answer. Same as PJ and Hazel.

You didn't want to watch any horror movies. Last time you watched , you couldn't sleep alone for a week. You also didn't want PJ be PJ and shut her mouth for once. You would probably be terrified but you didn't care. You wouldn't show it even a little bit. If you can…

"Pick the movie…" you said with a gloomy look in your eyes.

"Yes! " PJ threw a punch in the air.

Josie laughed when PJ and Hazel were fighting over which movie they all should watch.

"PJ acts like she wants to watch the worst to scare you but she will give up cause she is scared as hell too." she whisper to you when they were fighting. Hazel wanted to pick a beginner movie for you since you were scared easily but PJ wanted the scariest. Thankfully, they decided on something average.

You chuckled to what Josie has said.

"Also she will probably sleep with me tonight." she said with a side smile.

"What? No fucking way." you raised your brows as your mouth took the shape of 'o'.

"You sure you don't say that to make me feel better?" you narrowed your eyes.

She shrugged. "Come check my room tonight, If you don't believe." she said as she took a sip of her beer.

The movie was really scary for you but you managed to watch it without screaming, flinching or running away. Hazel sat next to you and checked on you every five minutes to see If you were really scared. You thought she wasn't expecting you to stay so calm during the movie. PJ felt incredibly annoyed when you didn't seem scared. She crossed her arms with a frown on her face and screaming from time to time, hiding her face with a pillow during the movie. Josie was enjoying the movie as she was watching a comedy genre. She laughed a lot. Hazel would enjoyed the movie too If she didn't constantly look at you.

"Hazel…I'm fine. Really."

"What?"

"You are looking at me every five minutes…" you stated.

"Oh, I-I I am just looking If you are too uncomfortable. We could always watch somethi-"

"No, It's fine. Really." you said as you looked at her and sighed.

"Okay. Just tell me." she said as she put a little smile on her lips.

"Will do, hun." you said cockily. Your mouth was faster than your brain otherwise It would not allow this. You couldn't help yourself and blushed.

Hazel chuckled at what you have said and she continued to watch the movie, smiling.

The truth was, she wasn't checking on you to see If you were okay with the scene but It was an excuse to look at you more in detail.

Everyone went to sleep. Of course you didn't sleep. You threw up all the beers and shots to the toilet so you were very awake and terrified. You felt like you held your breath for too long when you went into your room.

You got out of your room anyways. It has been an hour since everyone went to bed. You wanted to see If Josie was right. If PJ was actually scared so much that she couldn't sleep alone.

You opened your phone's flashlight. Josie's and your room were facing each other so it was easier to be brave walking in the dark.

Josie's door was slightly open and you took a peek. PJ was there with Josie. She was right. She was-

"Y/N?" a raspy voice called behind you.

You couldn't form a thought for a while. You turned around slowly to see a sleepy Hazel with a glass of water in her hand.

"What are you doing front of Josie's room... with flashlight? " she whispered.

"Hazel… you." you put your hand on your chest as you exhaled.

"Shit. I forgot about tonight. Sorry. Did I scare you?" She put her hand on your arm and squeezed it slightly.

You liked that very much.

"A little bit. It's fine." you held yourself mentally from hugging her right there as you gulped.

"Josie told me PJ will sleep in her bed because won't be able to sleep own her own." you whispered to her.

Hazel looked behind you, inside Josie's room and she smiled smugly. "Knew it. She's all bark, no bite." she smiled to you.

"Yeah..." you chuckled.

Her brows furrowed. "Did you sleep?" Her hand left your arm and you already missed it there. You noticed there were no rings on her fingers.

"Not really." you averted your eyes and bit your lip.

She put a small smile on her face and she grabbed your hand to pull you to your own room. "I'll sleep with you."

"Wha-, Really?"

"Yes. I-If It will help you s-sleep." She explained nervously as she stopped next to your bed.

You could say that she didn't need to do this. On the other hand, you knew you wanted this for a very long time.

"Okay." you smiled cheekily, went to your bed and waited for Hazel to hop in.

She put the water to your bedside table. Hazel slided in your bed and positioned herself so you could face each other. You looked in each others eyes for a while.

"Hi." your smile met your eyes.

"Hi." she beamed at you. She looked a little bit dumbfounded as she didn't believe this was happening.

"Good night Hazel." you said as you closed your eyes.

"Good night, hun." she mumbled.

Next morning you woke up feeling refreshed and energetic but also you felt warmth on some parts of your body.

You and Hazel were tangled. You felt her legs, arms and chest. Her chest was on your face. Not in a suffocating way.

Not that you minded to die this way.

She was still sleeping so you decided to savour this moment. You tilted your head and watched her sleeping. She looked peaceful like a baby. 'She looks adorable, cute, preciou-'

"Good morning, hun." the sleepy girl mumbled and then a side smile appeared on her pink lips.

She probably saw you watching her. You felt like a creep.

"Good morning…" you tried to untangle yourself from her but she pulled you closer to her.

"H-hazel…" you said and her comfortable mood changed into a nervous one.

"I-I am sorry I -I thought you were okay with it. I-I" She looked at you like a kicked puppy and you cursed yourself again in silence.

"Hazel I am okay with it! It's just… I didn't want to bother you."

She looked at you as If you were speaking in another language.

"You can never bother me Y/N." she said like she said It's a well known fact. You checked her face for any lies but you already know that she didn't lie and she would never lie to you.

"Oh…well then" you sighed and your muscles relaxed a bit, a smile forming on your lips then you put your head on her chest.

You heard and felt her grinning. It felt too good to be true.

You felt her hand at the back of your head. She was caressing your hair.

You closed your eyes as you felt her lips on top of your head, giving a peck.

You wished to stay in this moment forever.

"Hazel... " you mumbled.

"Hm? "

"I really appreciate it. Before yesterday and last night. It- It really means a lot to me. Everything you did... Thank you. "

"You're welcome. I'm just glad you are okay. " You both hugged each other tighter.

You loved how she smelled, how she sound, how she felt, who she is and-

"Oh my god! Josie! Come here! " PJ shouted from the door.

"Wha-? Oh... Finally. " Josie smirked at you and Hazel and you both stood up from bed.

"Why are you looking at us like that? "your face was serious.

"We have been in the middle of you guys ogling each other and It's been really annoying. You finally did it. We would force you to have sex with each other If you didn't. " PJ ranted frantically.

"What? We didn't have sex! " Hazel said nervously.

"Yeah, we just slept. She came here for me because of your fucking dare, PJ. "

"Ah! I knew I could get to you. "

"PJ you slept beside Josie last night. " Hazel had a pissed expression on her face which she didn't really normally has.

PJ's smirk vanished from her face.

"Ugh, whatever...We didn't cuddle. You did. So just admit it and finger each other. " she said nonchalantly.

"PJ!" you shouted.

"Is anyone hungry? Let's have breakfast. " Josie said, trying to stop this.

" I have class. If you excuse me, I'm going to change. " you said in a aggressive voice.

Everyone left your room but Hazel.

She came closer to you as she was going to say something.

"I'm sorry. " you and she said at the same time.

You both grinned and your faces got more pink than they were.

"It's ok. " you said at the same time again and laughed.

You sighed and smiled at Hazel.

"So I'm gonna... " she pointed the door with her thumb with a relieved smile.

"Yeah... " you nodded to her and you tried to hide how pink your cheeks were.

"Oh my god, just kiss already! " PJ shouted froom the door frame.

Hazel and you chuckled nervously. She went to your door quickly and pushed PJ lightly. She gave you an apologetic smile and mouthed "Sorry." before closing your door.

You slept beside her. You woke up and found yourself cuddling with her. She played with your hair and peck your forehead.

Maybe it was all a dream or maybe you were dying. Maybe it was universe taking an interest in you.

'How the fuck am I going to recover from this? ' you groaned to yourself.

#hazel callahan x reader #hazel callahan #bottoms hazel #bottoms movie #bottoms 2023 #hazel callahan fanfiction #ruby cruz

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matchadobo · 4 months

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KIDD; christmas headcanons

warning/s: mention of sex but no narrative of the actual thing, all fluff!

* kidd knows abt christmas, he just doesn't care 😩

* not until he met you and you wanted THE ULTIMATE christmas celebration with the crew

* he would act annoyed and as if he didn't want to participate in your activities

* but trust me when i say he'll fall in love with you more with the way you're acting like a wife with all the decors and food and gifts

* you'd go and ask him to accompany you when buying stuff, asking him what decors he'd like, he'd say "whatever you want,"

* "you're giving gifts to everyone?

"yeah, something wrong?"

"there's like... fucking thirty of us."

"and???"

* he'd carry the boxes upon boxes of christmas decor, complaining why you bought so much for the ship but will still do it for you

* when you decorate the entirety of victoria and you start getting tired, he'll give you snacks and water and he'll begrudginly help, shouting at the crew to come help you with your bullshit

* garlands across the ship railings, wreaths on each door, bells and lights adorned the edges of the walls. the victoria looked like an ABSOLUTE amusement park kids asked if it was allowed to explore on😭

* he'd be irritated by the festivity and the brightness of his ship, but once he sees you all smiley as you ask him if he loves it, he'll soon grow to love it

* when you tell him about the concept of mistletoes, that man will take advantage of it every chance he gets. you'll just be surprised he'd pin you at random parts of the ship and will kiss you even if you're in the middle of something, even a conversation! it was your msitake in agreeing to entrust him with the mistletoe placements

* since the weather is cold, the crew would add more layers to their once thin outfits. kidd would look so cute with knitted sweaters and a scarf around his neck. just imagine his rosy nose and cheeks when the cold really hits! he'd be asking for more hugs and will really coop up in the blankets ☁️

* he'd also firmly adjusting your beanies, coats, and scarves so you're keeping yourself warm

* he'd catch you playing by the snow

"the fuck are you doing?"

"a snowman?"

"i'd make a better looking one than you i'd bet."

and it'll end up as a snowman-making contest. he wouldn't go easy on you, he'd make his EXTRA EXTRA bigger than you with a punk aesthetic 🥺

* and aaaah christmas movies! you two'd always watch movies in midnight by the deck, sometimes the crew'd join but they'd rather not witness how you two get so touchy with each other. sometimes,,,, movies would either drift you off to sleep or off to sex 😓

* ICE SKATING!! he'd take you to frozen lakes and teach you how to skate! or maybe the other way around! imagine holding his hand as you glide across the snow ❄️

* you'd REALLY persuade him to help you when bakinh, you'd wanna bake with him 😍

"no can do,"

"come ooooon, love. please? for me?"

"...why the hell do i have to do it?"

"because i want to bake with you."

* he'd wear a cute ass apron that belonged to you and it was too big for you but tight for him. but it's manageable, he'd take it if it means you'll giggle when you see him. he'd say he just want to get it over with

* but imagined how he'd knead the dough tho 👀 those arms i mean hooooo. he'd catch you staring by telling you that the pastries in the oven are burning even tho you just slid them in there a few minutes ago

* he'd be soooo focused on decorating tho it's the cutest thing 😍 just imagine he'll be asking for a chair so he can work at "maximum efficiency" as he says. he'll be stoked in putting funny/evil faces and designs on the cupcakes and cookies

* you two'd reach until super late at christmas eve baking stuff before it struck midnight

* you'd be surprised he's got you a gift! it'd be a whole bunch of things; he'll brush it off as he doesn't know what to get you so he got everything🥺. there'd be knicknacks and jewelry he made, perfume and cosmetics, and clothes he'd love on you (lingerie, tight dresses, and anything that highlights your figure 🤭). but what you love the most is the tiny, knitted tulip plush that was about the size of your palm he personlly handcrafted for you 😫, it was a bit loose but other than that it looks flawless! he'd later tell you he's been practicing since the start of december 🥺😭

MERRY CHRISTMAS MY LOVES!! let's all celebrate with our faves 🎄🌷 here's my gift to you!

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cheapshrimpysheep · 11 months

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First Date - Heartslabyul

SUMMARY: What would your first date with him be like? I know first dates might not go so well, but let's pretend these are different. ;)

CHARACTERS: Riddle Rosehearts; Ace Trappola; Deuce Spade; Cater Diamond & Trey Clover

TAGS: Fluf; GN Reader; Flirting; Kissing

WARNING: Spoilers from Ace SSR Suitor Suit (Vignette); Book 5; end of book 4; Cater SSR Birthday Boy (Vignette)

WORD COUNT: An average of 570 words per character.

Heartslabyul / Savanaclaw / Octavinelle / Scarabia / Pomefiore / Ignihyde / Diasomnia

COMMENTS: Damn, making this for 5 characters is hard. And I still want to make it for all characters! What am I doing to myself? XD Tho, this is fun to write. I hope you have fun reading too. ;)

Riddle is an extremely Lawful person (Like in Lawful Neutral Character it's what I mean). And in this context, to be extremely lawful would mean to be extremely cliché. Then a Candlelit Dinner will be!

He asked Trey to cook. First: because Riddle knows he's not a good cook and your date had to be perfect, and for that the food should be too. Second: Trey's food and especially sweets are incredible! Perfect for a date! Riddle probably blushed asking Trey that favor, because Trey would tease him a bit too. But just a little bit.

He decided to use a smaller room for your date. Still, it had a large window overlooking the beautiful maze. If anyone even dared to think of interrupting your date it would immediately be OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

Trey was the one who made the food, but who would serve you would be Riddle himself. He didn't want anyone else in that room with you. Mainly because he was still a little embarrassed and nervous.

He will enjoy talking to you. Know more about yourself and your world. Tell you more about the Queendom of Roses. The two of you praising Trey's cooking. And since you're being cliché, why not do the same with dessert?

Strawberry Tart was the dessert. You insist that you cut the tart yourself. You cut a slice, put it on the plate, take the fork and take a piece of the slice. And before Riddle can ask why you only took your slice, you hold your fork out to him. He is slightly confused.

You just say "Aaaah" and he finally realizes what you're doing. And blushes. He sighs, more to calm himself a bit. and opens his mouth without being able to look you in the eye. His cheeks were starting to match his hair.

“Next time, I'd like to be the one cooking you a strawberry tart.” you say, after seeing the delight in Riddle's smile after eating from your fork.

He blushes a little more, but answers in a soft and sweet voice: “That would be wonderful.” And he quickly pulled the rest of the tart close to him, to cut a slice and feed it to you as you did to him. Who was blushing now?

“Rule 53.” He says with his little smirk. “You must replace anything you steal. You made me steal a piece of your tart. In other circumstances, it would be off with your head for making me break a rule you know?” He was smiling nonetheless, so you smiled back and ate the tart he offered you.

Before leaving for Ramshackle Dorm, you remembered that rule. And you dared to be cheeky. Riddle was accompanying you out and you took advantage of his low guard to give him a quick kiss on the lips. He stopped, astonished.

“Oh no!” you say with fake concern “Did I just steal a kiss from you? And according to the rules I must replace anything I steal correct?”

He should be mad at you, but he couldn't. He was trying so hard not to smile, he just gave up. And that smirk of yours, took its place. “In fact. What you just did was a tremendous infraction.” He gets closer to you. “Because it wasn't just a kiss you stole from me. A long time ago, you stole my heart as well.”

Since his Personal Story from SSR Suitor Suit, I can only think of one thing: Amusement Park Date! Ace will not treat this like a date date. It's better for him if you just have fun together without worrying about being on a date.

You'll go with him on thrill rides. Mainly because you would challenge each other. And then you would try to convince each other that the other was the most scared.

When you're already tired of so much adrenaline, it will be time to eat something. You'd going to eat hot dogs and laugh at each other for dropping the straw potato through the other end of the hot dog. If you get sauce on the tip of your nose, he might kiss it to lick the sauce off. And he will be pleased to make you blush. If you guys eat dessert, like ice cream, be careful. Because he'll try to nibble on your dessert just to mess with you.

Even though you're having so much fun with Ace, you still wanted to do some date stuff. Like, for example... Oh! That baby flamingo plush is so cute! I remember you from the ones of Heartslabyul. And what a coincidence (or maybe not), it’s one of the prizes of a basketball game stall. But when you mention it to Ace...

“So why don't you try to win one? Your throws are pretty decent.” He smiles with fake innocence. You look at him sullenly. “Ha ha ha. I know, I know. I haven't completely forgotten that we're on a date. But if I get you the plush, what do I get from that?”

You give him two options: bragging about how good he was on the game and how cool he looked like when he got you that plush. Or a kiss.

“Are you telling me I can only choose one of those? Not fair! That game could be really hard, you know~” You laugh and end up saying that if he really got that plush for you, he could have both.

Are you surprised that he failed on the first tries? Probably from overconfidence? Being fair, the hoops are also different from real basketball hoops. Eventually hitting those hoops becomes a matter of pride. But before he keeps trying, he starts talking to the stall guy. It looks like a normal small talk, but Ace is actually trying to take the trick to win out of the guy. When he gets the information he wanted, he tries again. And wins!

The stall guy give him the baby flamingo. Ace extends his arm to give you the stuffed animal, but, oops, too high. He raised the plush high above his head. You’ll not jump, you’ll play dirty, like he would too. You start poking him around the belly making him tickle. And get your baby flamingo!

The day was already ending and it started to get dark. You heard that the view from the top of the Ferris wheel at night is very beautiful, and it seemed like a nice, and chill way to end an amusement park date. He agrees, he was tired too.

“I thought you were tired.” You comment as he starts trying to swing the Ferris wheel carriage. Then he stops, really tired, he can't even do that. But he’s smiling a lot. The Ferris wheel was very tall, and only one lap took some time. You already had your prize in your hands, but you still hadn't given Ace his.

I got this idea after book 5: a Magical Wheel ride somewhere. “It's a surprise” he tells you, when you ask where you two are going. One of his lines from his PE card is "Are you free? Then why don't we go for a ride on my blastcycle? No, wait, I almost forgot—we need permission to leave the school grounds."

Either he got that permission or just went YOLO like he did with Epel. And since this is you first date, he would be very capable to do that if he didn't get the permission.

He would already be extremely excited to drive a Magical Wheel freely. But with you behind him, that enthusiasm multiplies. If you like speed as much as he does, he'll be over the moon. So happy that he can make that for you. Feel the same excitement he feels.

If you don't like speed and maybe even fear him going so fast in such an unprotected vehicle, you'll probably hug him even tighter and maybe squeeze his coat. And he'll be able to take that as a sign to slow down. He won't be sad that you don't like speed as much as he does. He’ll be disappointed in himself for forgetting your limits and scaring you. He'll apologize to you for that later.

For this, let's assume he used the Dark Mirror to get you somewhere. Because I imagine him taking you on a ride through green plains or mountain range.

And using this last example, where does it take you anyway? How about a river beach, perhaps near a waterfall, to have a somewhat improvised picnic? This because he didn't have the picnic stuff like a picnic blanket or food, so you would need to buy it in the little nearby stores. He was more excited about riding a Magical Wheel with you, so he ended up forgetting about the rest. Sorry.

It was such a beautiful sight. And the sun began to set. “Deuce” you say “Do you remember when you got on a Magical Wheel and took Epel to Sage's Island beach?” he nods “I got a kind of jealous, you know.”

He spits out the soda he was drinking. “Of what? *cough* *cough*” you are both sitting by the water.

“I mean, you take a Magical Wheel that isn't even yours, break the rules about whether or not you can leave the school grounds, and still take someone to the beach at sunset? Epel rode with you on a Magical Wheel before me.” you take your drink to your mouth “And sunset on the beach?” you murmur “That's romantic stuff.”

“Whoa, what? Wait! First of all my intentions were never romantic! I have no interest in him, just to be clear! I just wanted to help him. I would have done exactly the same for you. Maybe even more.” and speaking of which, he remembers: “Hey, wait a second, I've already done even more for you! Do you remember when you got stuck in Scarabia on winter break? Ace and I made it all the way from the Queendom of Roses to Sage's Island without using the mirror. just because you sent that message and we couldn't talk to you afterwords. I'm pretty sure that’s more than taking someone to the beach.”

You smile. “You’re right. And I never thanked you enough for all that work. Or for everything you've done for me since I arrived in Twisted Wonderland.” You put down your drink and hug him. Will your first kiss be enough thanks for now?

Cute Cafe Date! Why? Cater SSR Birthday Boy - Vignette: “I love visiting cafes, but we all know the most photogenic thing on the menu is dessert. Well, I can't take a picture of something without ordering it, and how am I supposed to order something I can't eat? It's a real pickle! ...Wait, I've got it! (MC), what if YOU ordered something and I posted it to Magicam? That settles it. We GOTTA hit up a cafe sometime soon. I know all the hottest spots for 'cammable desserts! And don't worry--food's on me. Deal? Deal!”

He dressed for the occasion, just like you. Everyone could see that you were a couple. And you would be the cutest couple in that cafe. If you're already shy, you'll probably be even more shy. Because someone like you and the handsome young man with you will catch some eyes.

And to make it worse if you're already a little embarrassed by your shyness, Cater will find you so cute that he will put his arm around you and pull you closer. Maybe even give you a few kisses on the cheek.

He will take so many pictures that it will look more like a photo shoot. Photos of the food, of him, of you, of the two together, of the place, everything! You two will talk A LOT. About NRC, about your colleagues, about Magicam gossip, etc.

He already talks cute to most people. So with someone as special as you, not only does he talk in that cute and affectionate way, but also becomes very touchy with you. He'll want to hug you and kiss you on the cheek a lot. If you like PDA, that's perfect. If not, he'll respect that, but still try to at least hold your hand.

You will be there for so long that only when you start to see the space becoming empty, with fewer and fewer customers, will you realize that closing time is approaching. As he promised, he paid for everything.

When you left, the sun was already setting. “Hey, (Y/N)-chan.” He tells you, in a whisper “Before we go back, There's one last place that I would like to go with you~.” And his fingers touch yours, like an invitation you could refuse. But you accept and he intertwine your fingers.

You walk a little until you reach a park. You walk along the dirt path, through the trees and the lawn with flowers. its a pleasant walk. And as night came you could hear the crickets. He stops by the lake, the two of you sit on a bench and he takes another selfie with you. To next giving more attention to his Magicam than to you for a long moment.

You sulk a bit and you decide to go to your own Magicam to see what is taking his attention away from you. You see that he didn't tag you in the photos and that the comments on the photos with you were disabled. “I wanted to show you off but...” Cater says, looking at you with his phone's screen off. “I wanted to make sure no one spoiled this day. You... know...?” He tries to keep his smile.

You put your hands on his face “You don't need to show me off. The best things in life are offline, you know? I don't need to be part of your feed to be part of your life.”

He smiles at you, his most genuine smile, as if to say: this is why I love you. And he can't stand not having you in his arms and kissing your lips.

A Picnic with the best food: his. He’ll carry the basket and picnic blanket in one hand and your hand in the other. He’s the one who usually plans the Unbirthday Parties. Planning your picnic date is a nice change of pace. Plus, he loves seeing your delightful face when you try and like his food and pastries. He would take you to a quiet and peaceful place to enjoy yourselves and each other.

This is his opportunity to rest from his Vice-Houseworden duties. And you can take a rest from Ace, Deuce and especially from Grim's shenanigans.

He would definitely feed you his cooking, mainly to see your smile better after you taste it. He's more of a giver than a taker. So if you did something for him and you were able to sneak that in the basket until he takes it of the basket surprised and feed it to him, he will hesitate at first, flattered. But happily eat it.

He chose a place where hardly anyone would casually find you, so he’ll feel comfortable lying on the blanket and inviting you to lie down with him. You two will probably keep snacking while chatting. He’ll let you rest your head on his chest and play with your hair.

Deep down he can be cheeky. But he doesn't show that side to everyone. You are one of the lucky few.

Your picnic was being peaceful. Maybe so much that that's why he decided to play a little prank on you. You were feeding each other cherries. He puts one in your mouth, but when you bite into it and taste it, it tastes like banana. “TREY!” You complain with the cherry in your mouth without knowing whether to spit it out or not. You even raised to sit down.

He bursts out laughing. You were caught so off guard. “Hey, look on the bright side, I could have been a little meaner. I could have done it with a sour taste.” he smirks.

You couldn't use magic like him, but that didn't mean you couldn't get your revenge. You look into the basket and see the cake you ate a few slices earlier. Cake that was decorated with whipped cream on top. You get some whipped cream on your finger and attack Trey while he's still lying there laughing at you.

But he is faster and manages to grab your wrist and deflect his nose from your finger. You lose your balance and end up on top of him. And to make you blush even more, he licks the whipped cream off your finger. And instead of you getting your revenge, you gave him another reason to laugh: your pinkish face.

He wanted to be cheeky? Well, two can play that game. Why not give him a taste of his own prank? You were close enough and you kissed his lips. You feel his lips twitch into a smile.

If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

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braxlrose · 1 year

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You should do a bill!sub x reader. He has to whimper 🤭

sub bill sub bill sub bill sub bill sub bill sub bill

okay so i actually have two requests for sub!bill so ill add in that one too.

request: what about dacryphilia but for bill. like riding him till hes crying but when you try to get off of him he just pulls you back asking for more, i mean being so fucked out he is bucking into you. from my favorite anon ;)

word count: 768

tw: handcuffs, (implied) mommy kink sort of? (it was only said twice), sub!bill, dom!reader, dacraphilia, hickies, overstimulation, dom/sub dynamics, implied drinking, begging.

"WHATEVER YOU WANT, BABY."

It was 11 'o clock at night. you had and bill had just gotten home from a party, both of you a little bit tipsy. Both of you had sweat running down your forehead because of all the dancing and people around you.

"Mmm bab..baby~" Bill came up behind you while you pulled off your sweaty clothes that had been sticking to your skin all night. A smirk crawled onto your face while bills arms wrapped around you, moving closer to your breasts. You raised an eyebrow slightly but didn't pay any attention to bill which ended up with him and his cute little face in a pout.

"Ba~byyy.." Bill now whispered with his hands on your hips and his chin resting on your shoulder, looking up at you.

"What is it bill?" you asked in a monotone voice, turning around to look at him.

"i want you.." His fingers intertwined with yours as he leaned in with a dopey smile on his face.

"Well im real tired baby, how about another day." you teased. It was pretty obvious you wanted him too after you strutted past him in your panties and bra. A pout stayed on bills face and the begging began. baby please. i need you so bad. my dick hurts. i know you want it too. youre so pretty baby. pretty please. please. please. please. mommy?

That was all enough to make you pull down your cute little strawberry panties and bra. which is what led to now.

"AaaAh baby please...slow down..slow down slow down slooooww down...." Bill had his head thrown all the way back as you rode his dick. his hands were handcuffed to the bed and he was completely sprawled out in front of you, all cute and naked. he had hickies all over his chest. you even made some in the shape of a heart surrounding his left nipple.

"But baby you're making me feel so fucking good. don't you like making me feel good? don't you, pretty boy?" and he did. he loved making you feel good. he loved every single second of it.

bill nodded his head, whispering barely coherent i love yous. his eyes were all glossy and his eyeliner was smeared everywhere. you had put a little lipstick on his lips too just to smear it around. why wouldn't you? you just loved your messy boy. "Please..." he whispered out to you, "I wanna touth..touch you..pleasth..un...uncuff me...." his words began to slur with a lisp as more teared poured out of his pretty brown eyes. you loved hearing him beg for you. it was like music to your ears. and as much as you loved to tease and edge your pretty boy, you loved hearing him happy. and you loved his slim fingers digging into your squishy thighs. so with that, you leaned forward, his dick slipping out of you causing a loud whine to leave bill, and you uncuffed him.

"AaAaahh~ put it back in...put it back in mommy...please...please..please please please please pleaseeeee." You raised an eyebrow and grabbed his face roughly.

"which one of us is in charge? because i thought it was me until you started ordering me around. you wanna be in charge baby. fine. go ahead and be in charge." you leaned over to the other side and him and got off of his stomach and laid down next to him.

"no. no. no...no. no. no. i dont wanna be in charge. im sorry....im sorry..do whatever you want with me please..im sorry.." drool started to form in the corners of his mouth along with the tears running down his face. he was so pretty like this. when he begged.

"I thought you wanted to order me around, baby?" You crossed your arms, squishing your boobs a bit.

"No, i didn't mean it. i didnt know what i was saying..please..ill make you feel good please.." you ran your heads over his head and down to his temple, rubbing it a bit. you looked at him with puppy dog eyes and bit your lip.

"Fine. but i hear you make one peep and im stopping." he nodded fast and laid back in his position. his dick looked so cute. it was all shaven clean and the tip was bright red. you touched it a bit to slide it back in you and that made his dick go crazy. it even slapped his stomach. that always made you smile. You finally grabbed his dick and slid it inside of you, making you throw your head back. "Mmm...i love this dick baby. its so perfect for me..you know that?" you were testing him. he was supposed to answer you whenever you asked him a question. he always did. that was a rule. but he also didn't want to make you mad. he wanted you to keep riding him until he passed out.

You smiled at him once he didn't answer you. he was such a good boy. you loved good boys. brats were little shits who didn't know their place, in your opinion. but bill was never like that. Bill knew what you wanted, what he wanted, and he was happy. you two were both happy.

you kept riding him for the next couples minutes with his fingers pressing into your hips. they were definitely gonna leave bruises. his eyes were closed again and he was biting at his lip so hard, trying not to make any noise. your little messy boy didn't even notice he was bucking into you. you could hear his breathing getting louder and his grip on your hips was tightening. that went on for another minute or so until you both twitched and came together. the loudest squeal that you have ever heard came out of bills drool-soaked mouth. it was so perfect. you began to lift yourself off of him but he didn't let go of your hips.

" i wanna stay i'side..." you carassed his cheek and grabbed a wipe off the counter to wipe off his sweaty makeup before leaning down to lay on his chest.

"whatever you want, baby."

A/N: i didn't proofread for sorry for any spelling mistakes. i hope this was up to your guys's liking!!

#bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz smut #sub bill kaulitz #tokio hotel #tokio hotel fanfics #tokio hotel smut #tokio hotel x reader #bill x reader #smut #fluff #mommy kinks #dom reader

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anniflamma · 2 months

Note

SO! Thoughts on the Circe Saga??

Oh boy, where to start! ＞︿＜

First of all, I freaking loved it! Circe's voice! HERMES! And the second part of There Are Other Ways! AAAAH! One thing that I absolutely loved about this saga is that all songs smoothly transition to the next scene, especially from "Done For" to "There Are Other Ways". Those two songs are meant to be one! It's amazing!

Hermes' song… What am I even supposed to say? I love it! I think my favorite part is when he reaches that high note on "manifest a ✨being✨ of your creation". It's like butter in my brain. And when he gets so giddy and says "and I call this root, holy moly" 😩

Done For. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT ODYSSEUS WOULD SUMMON A FREAKING CYCLOPS! What am I even supposed to do now huh?!! I have already animated the whole fight scene between Odysseus and Circe's monster. 😆 But either way, I loved that you could hear the anger in Circe's voice. That she obviously doesn't trust Odysseus and that he doesn't really have 100% good intentions toward her. And the delivery of "I’m not sure I follow". Ody has his stern tone, he knows exactly what Circe meant but doesn't really want to accept yet what situation he has stumbled upon.

I actually thought the song was just a tad bit too short, but because it transitions so smoothly to the next song, I didn't mind it so much.

And then we have There Are Other Ways....

That is the song that I was most excited about! I had so many theories on how Jay would depict the relationship of Odysseus and Circe, and I did mostly believe that those two wouldn't "do it". In the snippet for example, Circe was about to stab Ody. Like, if she did stab him, why the heck would she wanna still sleep with him afterwards???? And if Ody discovered the knife and prevented the stabbing, then the rest of the song would just be super awkward.... So when he refused her and started to sing about Penelope…. 😭

Then I really liked how the conflict ends with Odysseus being humble but also honest. He begs for mercy and explains his situation. Urg I imagine that his eyes are teary, realizing that he has been gone for 12 years. And that is what all it took! Circe isn't a smexy evil witch, she is a person who just has her guards up.

And the end with that song! When Circe turns Odysseus' men back.... It's epic and I really wanna do an animatic of it 😣

In conclusion.

Did I like The Circe Saga?

Yes.

#asks #im rambling #epic the musical #epic the circe saga

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chadhunkler · 17 days

Text

FISH INFORMATION TIME YEAYEYAYEYAEYAYEYAYEYAYE

Tagged by @sundered-souls , @oneiroy , and @iron-sparrow ! Thank all of u!!! ♥♥♥♥♥

B A S I C S

Name: Holuikhan Haragin

Nicknames: Holly, Holui, Hol, Fish

Age: around 25-30? But they have no clue, no sun to help keep time.

Nameday: 30th Sun of the 6th Umbral Moon (But they don't know that either)

Race: Au Ra-adjacent fish from the deep sea

Gender: Female

Orientation: What is that (Probably pan, and prefers people she gets to know first)

Profession: Traveling spearfisher, trinket trader (unemployed)

P H Y S I C A L A S P E C T S

Hair: Well contained in a fancy bun, with all the ends just short enough. She didn't like it getting in her face during quick maneuvers undersea. On land, it looks a litle rough, accustomed to the water more. Eyes: Blue, with a variable brightness depending on if she wants them to glow bright or not. Bioluminescence yeyaeyayeyae Skin: Abnormally dark, absorbs light when underwater, also has bioluminescent properties to shimmer and glow, confusing prey. On land, the scales/skin have a hard time with how much light there is, she gets burned easily. To combat this, she has a parasol she takes everywhere! Tattoos/scars: No tattoos, maybe a few bite scars from battling fish.

F A M I L Y

Parents: The two most important people in her life - taught her how to hunt and gather, how to live in the depths she was born in. Siblings: She's probably got siblings, but she hasn't seen them in a while. Grandparents: Unknown. In-laws and Other: None. Pets: A large manta ray, a 'pet' of sorts, more akin to a summon. Helps her travel longer distances underwater by attaching to her back, also providing some protection from the sun.

S K I L L S

Abilities: Expert underwater hunter, using a variety of skills to conceal and confuse - kicking up sand, creating little lights to distract as she zips through the seas. Also able to eat most things with fairly low risk. Living in the deep sea's tough. Hobbies: Exploring and collecting trinkets! She enjoys searching sunken ships for harpoons, gold pieces, bits of armor, anything shiny, along with flowers.

T R A I T S

Most Positive Trait: Always happy! Enjoys new things, nothing scares her.

Most Negative Trait: Stupid fishe, too excited about the new world, will routinely get in trouble because of her instinctual curiosity.

L I K E S

Colors: ALL OF THEM!!!! Sure, bioluminescent blues, purples, greens are pretty, but she's more interested in the colors she's never seen before. Smells: Fish and fishblood. She's also taken a liking to a few underwater plants, keeps some close by both to help mask her scent, and just to smell for herself. (I had to look up if fish can smell) Textures: She needs things to be super smooth, or else it'll irritate her skin. ESPECIALLY beds - if the thing she's trying to sleep on isn't super silky, she'll just go sleep in the water, tying her harpoon to herself and sticking it in the sand so she doesn't drift far. Drinks: Originally it was all water water water. Once she surfaced, she quickly realized the power of fruit juice.

O T H E R D E T A I L S

Smokes: Holly's not come across smoking yet. Drinks: She very recently had alcohol in a fruity cocktail, enjoyed it but felt strange afterwards. She got super dizzy, fell over multiple times. Drugs: She's been stung by a pufferfish once… Not good. Mount Issuance: If you consider the manta ray summon an issued mount, sure, but it can only be underwater. Been Arrested: What's that?

Thank you for reading! aaaah now it's time to tag others uhhh @shroudkeeper @rasenkaikyo @varrok @verysmallcyborg and @miqojak ! If you see this and wanna do it, go for it! I may or may not be doing two more of these for Kasha and Chad, lemme know if u wanna get tagged too!

#ffxiv oc #ffxiv screenshots #ffxiv gpose #ffxiv #ff14 screenshot #ff14 gpose #ffxiv rp #ffxiv roleplay

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ha-bloody-ha · 7 months

Text

It's almost official: the Murdoch Quilt, made from costume scraps from seasons 12-14 of Murdoch Mysteries (with a few pieces from earlier years), is going up for auction very soon! Bidding will close on not long after October 2, the date of the S17 premiere. I even managed to get a high-end art auction house involved. I had a Zoom call with them and the Shaftesbury Films publicity people this afternoon to finalize plans. (Yes I am freaking out about this.)

Christina Jennings, Founder, CEO, and President of Shaftesbury Films gave the quilt and the Urban Alliance on Race Relations, beneficiary of the auction proceeds, a shoutout in her speech to the crowd at the Shaftesbury TIFF party last Monday. (She suggested that someone's grandmother might like it. Me, I want it on permanent display somewhere. It's a work of women's art that was never intended to disappear into someone's linen closet. But that was, uh, not the ideal venue for pushing that argument. Ahem.)

Some of the "best" questions people have asked about the quilt:

How do we know it's authentic? Are you trying to scam people?

Seriously? You honestly think someone would come up with a scam involving the time and coordinated effort of 20 people in three countries to produce something that has fabrics that look EXACTLY like what's in the costumes on TV, in order to raise money for a 48-year-old anti-racism charity? That's... rather a grim way to perceive the world.

2. Why don't you sell the pattern so other quilters can make it too?

There is no pattern. 18 people designed and made their own unique blocks from the fabrics they had available. If you want to stare at pictures of it to reverse-engineer the 30 different blocks so you can make them from other fabrics that didn't come from the MM costume room, knock yourself out.

3. You're making another one, right?

No. This one took hundreds of dollars (gas, postage, longarm quilting) and at least 150 hours of work. "One of a kind" means "one of a kind."

(I have so many thoughts about how textile art is [or isn't] valued, and whom it's perceived to be for, even by people who really should know better. I'm hopeful that this project and the auction will spark some thoughts and conversations about this. Best case, the quilt itself will net five figures, maybe from one of the Bus People who've been on the fancy tours and who Get It about what this kind of fibre art is worth. I can dream, can't I?)

Anyway. Auction closes in early November! October 2! More details coming soon! aaaah!

#murdoch mysteries #the murdoch quilt #murdoch quilt #murdoch mysteries costumes #quilting #fibre art #fiber art #art quilt #quiltblr #textile art #textiles #fabric art #it's finally happening #eeeeee #thank you joanna #costume design #tv costumes

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upside-garden-of-dreams · 27 days

Text

In A Late Afternoon [Hybrid!Jake x Reader]

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none, just some mentions of undressing, kissing, and maybe a suggestive ending? But that ending interpretation is up to you

General info: Reader is kept gender neautral, Jake is a golden retriever dog/puppy boy, English isn't my native language excuse the typos

[More puppy Jake]

Aaaah.... I honestly didn't think this idea would extend like this Anyways, hope you enjoy! 🐶💛

Ears perked at the sould of keys fumbling with the doorknob.

A tail wagged, a nose sniffed, a heart beat faster at the prospect of what will happen next.

As soon as you opened the door to your home, allowing your bag to sling off your shoulders and pop down on the small shelf by the door, your greeting was interrupted by an excited voice:

"Jakey, I'm ho-"

"Honey! Hi, hello! Did you have a good day? I missed you!"

You were instantly hugged by your over-energetic golder retriever of a boyfriend, face nuzzling deep into your neck as he familiarized himself with your fresh scent once more.

Sure, the house was surrounded by your scent, but nothing compares to the one on your actual skin, you know? Or so he says.

Tiredness startled out of your mind, it took a couple seconds to process what excatly happened just now. Instinctively, your arms went to wrap around him in a confused hug.

"Darling, remember what I said?" You pat him lightly on the back to call for his attention.

"Oh! Yeah! Ah-ahem...Sorry, babe." He let you go, a tinge of bashfullness and shame coloring his face. His excitement bubbled down slightly by what his ears and tail showed, flattening against his head and slowing down its wag, respectively.

Jake fumbled with his hands in nervousness, eyes downturned but still taking peeks at you.

He was way too adorable for his own good. A small smile settled itself on your face as you admired the cutie in front of you.

The brunet's entire demeanor changed back to his characteristic joyful self once your hand went on to pet between his floppy ears. Jake stared at you with bright brown eyes, while an equally as bright smile shaped his lips.

Pushing the door closed, you talked again, "While I adore your hugs as a greeting, do allow me to fully come inside next time, luv." Once done with the reminder, you opened your arms expectantly.

The hybrid chuckled and dove into your arms, "Understood!"

"Hello, Jake. I'm home." You completed your greeting from before, burrying your face into his shoulder. The comforting warmth of his embrace permiated your soul, finally relaxing your tense body for today.

Jake turned to place a sweet kiss on your temple, "Welcome back, my love."

You remained in place for a while, neither of you willing to separate.

Alas, it was the puppy boy who broke the hug. Still, he kept his hands on your waist to keep you close.

"Let's get you comfortable, yes?"

Taking one of his hands and walking to you room, you agreed, "I'd love that."

Golden ears perked up once more, an excited yet shy smile coloring his lips, "Do...I get to help you?"

Turning around to answer, you could see his tail wagging slowly and picking up in speed as you talked, "Of course, silly puppy! I have tea to spill! You won't belive what Yuna said to the manager, like O-M-G my girl gives ZERO shits!"

As you talked and completed your after-work routine, Jake listened attentively. Occasionally, he would let out small hums of agreement and sounds of disbelief as he listened to the tale about your friend Yuna and her fight with that nightmare manager your team was cursed with.

His gentle hands helped remove some clothing articles, taking the time to sooth the skin with leftover marks from where your clothes hugged you a bit too tight. Your lover brought you close to his chest, circling your waist from behind, head dropping down to your shoulder to trail tender kisses all the way to your neck and jawline.

Giggles erupted from you due to his affections, hand going up to play with his hair and rub at the base of his left ear.

"Baby~" Jake whined in delight at the petting.

"Jakey~" You mimiked his tone, a breathless laugh at the end. "C´mon, put a shirt on me so we can cuddle on the couch for a while. I need my puppy to truly relax."

You could see the lightbulb atop his head from where he got an idea, "Wait here! I won't take long!"

With a sloppy kiss to your cheek, the dogboy quickly ran to his room.

In a matter of seconds, he came back with a black t-shirt in his hands, "Arms up! I have your favorite~"

Doing as told, you allowed your boyfriend to dress you up in one of his oversized shirts. It smelled just like him.

Bown eyes scanned you up and down with myrth, he loved how you looked in his clothes.

"You're so beautiful," he said, with a lovestruck look in his eyes.

Pecking his lips quickly, you answered, "And you're the cutest ever." Tugging on his hand, you led the way back into the living room.

Finally, the moment you desired most arrived: a moment to wind down and cuddle, catch up on Jake's day, and enjoy some time together.

Plopping down on the couch, you turned on the TV and let the random channel from last night play on the background.

A look thrown Jake's way sent you both into motion: the golden retriever laid down sideways on the cushions as you unfolded the light blanket hanging on the armrest. Your sweetheart gently guided you down near his chest while you flicked the soft cover over both your bodies.

You sighed happily while nuzzling into his toned chest, humming in delight at the calming atmosphere surounding you two.

Jake carded his fingers through your hair to help you destress even more, tail tumping against the sofa with every volume spike in your hums of enjoyment.

"Missed you so much, Jakey," You mumbled into his chest.

"Missed you, too, my love," He answered back.

As you looked into each other's eyes, the same idea crossed your minds. In silent agreement, you leaned towards the other and gave in to your desire...

With loving passion and delicate sweetness, you locked your lips and indulged in one another to your heart's conentent

[ END ]

Thank you for reading ~!

Feel free to like, share, reblog, and leave comments in tags or under the post (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+🩷

#writing in dreams #enhypen #enhypen x reader #hybrid!enhypen #jake sim #jake sim x reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader #idol imagines #sim jaeyun #sim jaeyun x reader #THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO POST UNTIL I WAS FULLY SATISFIED WITH IT WTH TUMBLR #I JUST MADE SOME CHANGES AND SAVED BUT APPARENTLY IT WAS A PUBLISH BUTTON AND NOT A SAVE ONE?!?!?!#....oh well.... i think it's good as it is 🫠

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bluiex · 9 months

Note

I got to pirates smp an hour late and then had to dip before the stream ended nonetheless I was watching Scar's POV and now I'm having Scarian thoughts.

Mostly spoiler free all I really share is a mention of Scar's faction.

-@scitties-enjoyer

---

Scar drops the anchor on his boat. It's not much now, but one day he'll have something grand, he's sure of it. He hops down onto the rocky shore and picks his way inland.

In hindsight, maybe a single knife was not the right weapon, but Scar doesn't have anything better. Yet.

Scroll, scroll.. where was- Ah

Scar spends more than a moment reading the piece of paper... 'return to the mainland with the head of the isle's monster for 300 gold'

Yep, that's a good deal. Hopefully.

Unless it's something really vicious in which case, Scar is absolutely being ripped off here. Goddamn inflation.

Again, all he has is a knife.

This is... fine, probably.

Scar can hear Jellie meowing from his ship "I'll be back before you know it!" He reassures his cat.

It takes hours. He scours the island at least twice, with no success.

Then he spots a cave he didn't notice before, stepping in to an animal den of some kind where... a bird creature is goring the wolves.

Yeah this is ... fine actually. Mhm, definitely fine. Definitely not terrifying.

It's even more fine when the creature looks up at the sound of Scar's presence, dark eyes locking with his before it scrambles back in fear, wings braced around itself as if that can possibly protect it from him.

Scar makes a reckless decision, carefully putting his knife down behind himself. He's not completely stupid, if the bird-thing makes a lunge for his knife, he's dead.

Scar had been expecting an animal, not something that had the intelligence of a human. And Scar knows what it feels like to be hunted - or, knew once - so in a moment of uncharacteristic gentleness he's opening his heart to this so-called monster.

"Do you understand me?" Scar asks, softly.

The creature flinches at the sound of his voice. So it's that bad...

"I was sent to bring back your head. But neither of us want that."

The thing curls tighter around itself.

"My name is Scar. If we play our cards right we can get the reward money without you getting hurt."

The bird hisses. Which is progress, in Scar's eyes.

"I know how you feel, I do. If you come with me- if you come aboard my ship, you'll be safer." Scar feels a little faint, thinking of how mercilessly some of the other pirates would no doubt have already slaughtered this bird in Scar's shoes. "You could be my bird! Every pirate needs a bird!"

---

It's three days back to the kestrels' tavern base of operations. Or, it should be. It ends up taking Scar around a week, because Grian - the bird creature has a name! - doesn't quite have his sea legs yet so they have to stop at this island and that island and then Grian has to hide from other pirates

.Grian had gotten washed up after they left the cave, and it turns out that he's completely adorable under all that blood and viscera. Scar thinks it's very unfair that he can't just spend hours watching Grian, and instead has to steer his little ship.

Grian spends his time on the boat playing with Jellie, and honestly it warms Scar's heart.

It's one such stop where Grian finally accepts more than the bare minimum of physical contact necessary from Scar. It's particularly cold that night, sleeping under the stars, and Grian huddles up to Scar for warmth, burying his face in Scar's hair.

After that, it's like a switch has been flicked in Grian's brain. He's constantly latched onto Scar's arm, or perched on top of his hats, or his shoulder, asking questions.

---

Insert continued falling in love here I've run out of traction. Anyway the quest loophole Scar had *worked* so they do get the reward money

OOOOH BROOO THIS IS SO CUTE. PIRATE SCAR TAKING A CONTRACT TO KILL A CREATURE

And it being birb Grian- AAAAH this is so good Scitties. I love it so VERY MUCH

It takes awhile for Grian to come out of his shell fully and start speaking to Scar- he's started with the physical touch and protectiveness because Scar's his flock now

#bluie gets an ask poggers #long post #scarian

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smilingangel582 · 7 months

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Hey hey hey... I wanna bully our little scara -oopse I mean wanderer aka I renamed him to "Mochi" ain't that cute!

Thanks to the recent hoyofair someone gave me the idea to name him Mochi

But I'll be calling him wanderer... anyway enjoy hehe

Warning spoilers for Sumeru

A weakness?

Now, Aether likes to team up with many. He even has the audacity to call our all four archons to help him in commisssions and abyss trials.

Heck... Ei and Nahida seemed game too and Aether had no trouble teaming up with anyone.

"Worthless as expected"

Although a certain someone seemed too difficult to handle... more difficult than Xiao supposedly...

"I told you..." Wanderer elevated from the ground now, landing his wind blades perfectly striking the treasure hoarders who now fled from the new threat, "Be direct and don't hesitate... sucker..."

Aether is just sick of him now. At least Xiao opened up to him more as time went by. Wanderer just gets on his nerves a lot.

"Alright, but can you just be a little calm... nicer too, " Aether said, suddenly feeling irritated too. Blue eyes shifted away, and he grumbled, "It's not my fault you are weak"

"Mochi~, please... aren't u being too mean?" He tried to tease him to lighten up the mood, Wanderer seems too bitter to acknowledge that, so he ignored him."Whatever... can't stoop to your level ...let's finish this quickly"

Aether growled "You little..."

Smirking wanderer folded his arms. "What? You would rather have me sugar coat it and mince my words? I apologize. " he rolled his eyes sarcastically."But try and keep up...!"

Muttering Aether rolled his eyes "Rude..."

Of course Katherine as always return them their commission rewards and Wanderer folds his arms saying "Alright if that's all I'll be taking my leave-"

"Hold it, Hat guy," giggling Aether grabs his shoulders. "Let's hang out a little at the teapot... come on, you need to lighten up,"

Growling "No need I'm busy..."

"With...?"

Clearing his throat he looks away "Non of your business... so find someone else to -aaaah!"

Swirling into a sudden shift of atmosphere he knew he's being forced to enter this dumb teapot. Unbelievable, he thought and Aether grins "Come on... let's have some tea as we chat..."

To say Aether is merely annoying isn't enough. He's too troublesome. Wanderer would definitely find his company too energy wasting but also... leaving this guy alone might see wrong too. Especially after helping him ascend a lot.

He kinda felt like he owe to the traveler. Paimon was absent and that's a plus point.

"Anyway... I've been meaning to ask, " Wanderer says," Now sipping yhe tea that's brewed instantly "why do you want to chat with me? After everything we never ended on good terms either"

Aether silently drinks and then sigh "Alright that old charade... you are naive, Mochi..."

Raising an eyebrow he watched Aether scoot closer to him now leaning forward with a smirk "OK who was the guy who asked me to name him?"

Bingo, Aether grins, he blushed at that.

"Then who was the guy who gave me a lovely present on my birthday...?"

"Lesser lord Kusanali bribed me into it-"

"-And yet you didn't leave after knowing you were bribed?" Cutting in fondly and Wanderer tried his best to hide the warmth spreading on his cheeks and looks away with a stubborn huff, folding his arms "Well... think what you may... but there's no way I admit to anything"

"Aw Mochi your blush just gives it away" Aether grins poking his checking making the anemo user let out a pettish immature and yet indignant scoff "It doesnt!"

"It does..." Aether pokes his nose.

"No it didn't" swats his hand now and Aether poles his stomach grinning "It does..."

"Hey..." Yelps as the poke sent an electrifying spread on his stomach, fluttering like multiple wings chaotically dancing in him.

"Oh?" Intrigued, Aether pokes his ribs now "Are you ticklish?"

"No... absurd... why would you consider that possibility?" He backs off regardless of his words and Aether readying himself with two pointer fingers like they are guns "I don't know... but it's a possibility alright..."

"Get away from me... k-knos your place!" He threatens now eyes widening when Aether pounce on him, two fingers wiggling but not touching yet."Tickles will be your place!"

"Hehe wait! Noho!" He already feels giggles slip from his lips and Aether is tranced by it, he only has two wiggling fingers on his sides and its already making Wanderer crazy.

"Cute... I wish i done this sooner" he pokes mercilessly on his ribs and beams at the squeal of indignant protests from the former all mighty god.

"AHAHA Shihit gehehet ahahawaaay!" He curls back "Dohont...! Stahahahap!"

"Don't stop? OK... then, " Aether teases when Wanderer groans through his giggling. He notices its ten fingers wiggling under his robes now and squirms with giggles that are uncharacteristic.

Genuinely Aether grins "Your giggles are adorable... Kittenish and cute... you should laugh more"

Aether feels every attempt of Wanderer's fists trying to punch his way out but its aimless and he can't even concentrate to fly away. This ticklish technique in poking and scribbling is killing him.

"Cuhuhut ihihit out! Hahaha ihihit... stahahap!"

Grinning, an idea as he kneads his hips like a dough "Stop doing what... Mochi?"

"Tihihihickling mehehehe yohohou lohohow lihihife!"

"Oh, you want more? Sure... coming right up" he squeezes his knees, and Wanderer realises how much power tickling has over him. His whines for falling for the oldest trick in the book and shrieks "OK! Ohohok, yohohou idiot! Stahahap ihihit! Seheheheriously!"

Aether hums but pausing his attack to only push him down with his hands. "Hmm, say you like hanging out with me and ill consider..."

Wanderer widened his eyes and hesitated "Ihihi... uh..." but squeaks when Aether latches on to his thighs and giggles without Aether tickling him "Last chance... or I'll tickle you till you go crazy"

"Ahaharchons wahahit... OK ok! Mahahaybe hanging out with yohou isn't bahahad? -ahaha eek!" The shrilled noise from Wanderer when Aether reached to touch his ears made him giggle "Aha hilarious... I can't take you seriously..."

"OK I like hahahangjng out with you!" He scrunched his neck when Aether trails his fingers on his neck and ears "ahaha I said it i said I SAID IT!"

Cruelly but playfully gentle, Aether doesn't stop and hums "Hmm maybe after tickling you a bjt"

"BUHUHUT YOU SAHAHAID YOULL STAHAHAP!

"Bleh" mocking his own raspberry aether snickers "I said consider... so I considered..."

"IHIHI WIHIHILL KILL YOHOHOU!" He shrieked bloody murder and Aether honestly stopped to laugh properly at the sounds Mochi had let out through the tickle session.

"Oh archons... you sounded like being hit by the electro archons lightening there" he laughed till his own cheeks flushed as Wanderer's

The latter gasps now glaring but involuntary giggling to lighten the effect "Yohou ahahre cruhuhuel... I hahate you."

Playfully he shoves his shoulders and Wanderer falls to the side effortlessly. Aether sighing as he had been laughing as hard as Wanderer "OK Mochi...this is why I like going with you... cute and very serious"

Blushes more Wanderer turns away "W-whatever... just admit that I'm strong enough for... uh these things"

"Alright alright... you are" Aether waves his hands in surrender but adds with a playful finger sliding up Wanderer's back "But not strong enough to deal with a little tickling"

"Ah!" He shrieks at the sudden sensation and turns his back away from him glaring at him still blushing "Don't you dare! I'll-I uh I'll chomp you down like a -a shrimp masala curry!"

"Yah yah but I'll tickle you before you could" Aether giggles and takes his hat running off with loud bouncy laughs "Hehe!"

Wanderer smirks now, feeling light and happy. "Oh? Come here, you lowly traveler, and feel the wrath of the former god!"

To say Aether didn't expect revenge is a lie... he wanted things to escalate like this perhaps... although maybe he's more tolerable than before.

"Bow your head!" While tickling Aether's sides.

Or maybe his attitude still stinks, but it's adorable. Despite being an offhand aggressive jerk, he can also display softness and cuteness...

#genshin tickle #genshin impact #lee!wanderer #ler!aether #lee!aether #ler!wanderer #ticklish!aether #cute #tickle fic

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ihavemanyhusbands · 6 months

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can we have something like richie likes you and you like him but the two of them are so stubborn and oblivious so carmy and the other need to do something

Aaaah cute cute yess!!

——

“Alright, here he comes,” Carmy said as he watched Richie toss his cigarette outside. “Sugar, Tina, is everything ready?”

“Yep, she’s already sitting at the table. I told her to stay so we could go over some resumes for the new waitstaff,” Natalie said. “Tina and Syd got the food covered.”

“Aight, thank you Sugar. Fak, go get cousin, bring him out to the dining room. Don’t ruin the surprise, you hear me?”

“I’m not going to!” Fak argued, seemingly offended.

“You talk too much when you’re nervous,” Carmy said, interrupting as Fak tried to continue defending himself. “I don’t wanna hear it! No time, just go do it.”

“Yes, Chef,” Fak grumbled, doing a military salute before making his way to the backdoor.

In the dining room, you drummed your fingers against the table as you waited. It’d already been a long day of preparations and all you wanted to do was go home and collapse on the couch. But you already knew that in this business, rest didn’t really come by easy.

Still, the atmosphere didn't really seem business-like, with all the lit candles, impeccably set tables and the dimmed lighting. Well, there was also the soft jazz music drifting from the speakers, but you figured Sugar hadn't shut everything fully down yet.

"Yeah, okay jagoff, I'll bet you twenty bucks that--" Richie was saying as him and Fak pushed out of the kitchen.

You looked up and smiled a little, but there was a question in your eyes. Richie seemed to forget what he was talking about as he looked at you, surprised you were still there.

"Hey, pretty lady. What's goin' on?" Richie asked.

"I could ask you the same thing. Where's Sugar?" You said, raising an eyebrow.

Richie shrugged, mumbling an I don't know. "I was told I had to take a look at some paperwork."

Fak used the confusion to his advantage, grabbing Richie's arm and guiding him to the table, sitting him down across from you. Richie yanked his arm out of his grasp, glaring up at him. You frowned in confusion, now directing your gaze to Fak, who suddenly seemed flustered under your scrutiny.

"Fak... You wanna tell us what's going on?" You asked slowly.

"I don't know anything!" He said, rushing away from the table and diving into the kitchen.

"Chicken shit..." Richie scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I could get him to confess, if you want."

"Fighting's not cute on a first date, cousin," Sugar said as she came out of the kitchen followed by Sydney and Tina. "Plus, it's not even Fak's fault."

"First date?" you questioned, nervously glancing at Richie. "Wait, did you do this?"

"N-no, I... Um, it wasn't me. Just as clueless as you are."

The trio of women snickered at this interaction. Tina served you and Richie some red wine as Sydney put plates of heavenly smelling food in front of you.

"You two just don't change," Tina said, shaking her head with amusement. "If it wasn't for you being so hard-headed, Jeff, this could've happened a long time ago."

You couldn't help but blush fiercely, unable to look at Richie. If you had, you'd have seen that he was equally red.

"Yeah, you guys weren't as subtle as you thought," Sydney confirmed with a chuckle, placing a hand on your shoulder. "We got kinda tired of waiting for that pot to boil over."

“When did you even have time for this, Sugar?” Richie questioned.

"Carmy organized the whole thing, actually," Sugar said, glancing over to the kitchen, where a small crowd had formed to look out through the circular window. "But yeah, we're all in on it."

“Oh, god,” you groaned, burying your face in your hands from sheer embarrassment.

“Relax, both of you. Just eat your meal, talk about something that’s not work related, and maybe at the end of the night you’ll even suck faces,” Tina said.

“Tina!” You exclaimed, smacking her arm playfully.

She merely winked, but despite the fact that you wanted the ground to swallow you in that moment, you were also thankful for all their efforts in bringing you and Richie together.

------

#the bear fanfiction #richie jerimovich x reader #richie jerimovich fanfiction #the bear x reader #sorry i forgot i had this in my inbox!!! im depressed lol #richie jerimovich blurb #the bear blurb

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nnibarrel · 13 days

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So... Trine 5: A Clockwork Conspiracy. My recent obsession. Let's go! I'll try to do it without significant spoilers.

Carefull, long post under the cut!

First of All. Amadeuses Kids! They grew up! UWU. They're such cute little young fireball casters. Omg, that's almost like watching your nephews grow, they feel so much like a family...

That game series has been with me since I was a child and as I remember Trine (part 1) was my first (real) videogame! And now when I play Trine 5 it cures my soul so much, right when I needed it. It's like... Has a Tolkien vibe for me. I mean in the sense that It's too fairy tail outside, it may look childish, but it has layers! I really like the plot, it hit me right in the heart and made me reflect. And I was struggling with dark thoughts on Future and Trine's perspective on the global world's problems made me smile and hope for the best... Really thank you, trine team, you're awesome :D Where there's people who share your concerns and put it in the work of art like that and make witty satire on it that's precious. I have returned some of my faith in humanity now.

Well, maybe some people may not see what I saw or just won't feel such weight, cause my recent experience made me stump on it, so well I need to say that plot in general... Dramatic. I was impressed How it manages to balance at the edge of magical fairy tail and life drama (OR that's again me and my pains. Anyway...) STRONG twists and things at stake. Heroes encounter both global threat and personal challenges (all three of them, but poor wizard, he got it the most. But he's so silly old man, I'm crying) (Zoya, my girl, I love you...) (Pontius... You're just perfect, I'm proud of you, example of a real knight :D)

Character writing is amazing, they REALLY feel alive.

For example: Amadeus marries a woman after he became a hero and throughout the whole game series he mentions that, then he mentions their kids and, like i mentioned now, now we see how they grew up! And in fifth's game due to plot he misses his triplets greatly and in the forest three heroes meet a fox with three little foxes... And Amadeus is like "oh no, I'm a terrible father" 😭

And there's a lot of cute normal or giant animals in the game series, we're helping them and then they come up and help us. Such lightsome game, I can't/// Those animals... Uwu/// (Just a little detail but I wanted to mention that...)

What I like else about the narrative: humor :D For demonstration I just let Pontius to show himself:

And now when I've let out my shouts...

*sights* AaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA. Another round, Friends :D

I. Worship. Those. Artists. They are geniuses. Screenshots speak for themself, I guess.

Design, artwork and effects... No, I can't describe it in words, again, I just pray on it. So damn enchanting. I literally dream to be like those artists who work on this series. (And that's a threat) When I think of it, well, maybe THAT magic inspired me to be who I am right now...

Magic observatory where's pictures of butterflies there and there... ARE YOU DESNAN, WIZARDS???

And those just killed me. Episode in a dark place with the sudden rays of hope... I was just. Aaaah... So beautiful both by art and location's story. Replica of the second screenshot: "It's rare that ghosts are on our side. Usually we and undead are not on good terms." What did I tell you? :D Tolkien vibe!

So who got through my post till the end... Please, please get to know those game series. I didn't mention it at all above but It's also a genius of gameplay. It's a platformer with (some) fighting and (a lot of) puzzles. Also. It's thrice (:D) fun in coop.

AND. Music. Won't say much about it either but It's a genius magical masterpiece. I guarantee you: Trine soundtrack will find its way to your playlist.

P. S. Will I do fanart on trine? Maybe... Maybe... You know, I just have that strange thing: some stories are "sacred" in my brain so I can't Just sit and draw cause I'm constantly stressed out if it turns out bad or worse: not how I imagined it. Same with Tolkien books, btw. In fandom since childhood, (if you count that, if not - from adolescents and first steps to the internet) and no single drawing. (not single real drawing at least)

But! I have Nine Parchments fanart :D

Oooh. And. I have THEM in frame. Art from my friend who gifted it to me at postcrossing some time after we played Trine 4 (and then the whole game series) together! It was such a pleasant surprise!

The end. ❤️❤️❤️

#Trine 5 #Frozenbyte

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bluebeary-jay · 7 months

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Sooooooooo.... big news you guys 😌

WE HIT 1000 FOLLOWERS!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M MAKING THIS POST AAAAH!!!!!!

Huge THANK YOU to all of you lovely people who enjoy the stories I write and who helped me reach this point!! I'm extremely lucky to have your support and I'm so overwhelmed with emotions and gratitude I want to give every and each one of you a lil forehead kiss muah 💋

So this calls for a celebration right?? And a celebration we shall have 😎

SO until October 15th I'll be taking requests for short one-shots 💕 below you can check out the rules of the party

Okay okay okay, let's start! First things first, our Pedro boys! I'll be writing for:

Joel Miller

Javier Peña

Agent Whiskey

Oberyn Martell

While requesting, please specify if you want it to contain (can be multiple):

Din Djarin (? I've never wrote for him but I'm willing to try)

fluff

angst

hurt/comfort

or/and suggestive themes (but not actual smut, pretty please)

And lastly, the amazing list of prompts that I borrowed from @nightprompts (here's the link to the original post <3)

❛ i could keep you safe. they’re all afraid of me. ❜

❛ i’m trying to fix your hair, so hold still. ❜

❛ your heart is beating so fast right now. ❜

❛ promise me you’ll still be here when i wake up. ❜

❛ you’re not as bad as everyone says you are. ❜

❛ i thought you’d like some company. ❜

❛ clean yourself up. you're getting blood all over the place. ❜

❛ here, give this a try and tell me what you think. ❜

❛ you can kiss me, you know. ❜

❛ come back to bed. ❜

❛ you look good like this. ❜

❛ working together again, it’s just like old times. ❜

❛ how is it you always know what i need, huh? ❜

❛ you’re lucky you got away with only a scratch. ❜

❛ i can’t imagine losing someone like that. i’m sorry. ❜

❛ you know you can always talk to me. ❜

❛ the only one who gets to kill you, is me. ❜

❛ so, what do i owe this pleasure? ❜

❛ ah, so you aren’t heartless after all. ❜

❛ may i have this dance? ❜

❛ it’s okay, you can touch me. i won't break. ❜

❛ enemies make the best lovers, you know. ❜

❛ hold still. this might sting a little. ❜

❛ we can't keep doing this. ❜

❛ you look like you've got something to say. ❜

❛ just relax and let me take care of you. ❜

❛ thought you’d be lighter without all that blood. ❜

❛ i had it under control. you didn’t need to do that. ❜

❛ everything looks so beautiful from up here. ❜

❛ you treat all your ladies like this? ❜

❛ well? how do i look? ❜

❛ can’t sleep? ❜

❛ do you mind if i smoke? ❜

❛ i’m scared of ending up alone. ❜

❛ i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile. ❜

❛ how long has it been since you've slept? ❜

❛ you are losing my interest, and that’s very dangerous. ❜

❛ i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight. ❜

❛ you look really pretty right now. ❜

❛ i’ve never cared for anyone the way i care for you. ❜

❛ i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know. ❜

❛ just a few more stitches and you’ll be as good as new. ❜

❛ i’d say we make a pretty good team. ❜

❛ i want you to forget this ever happened. ❜

❛ i'm here for business — not pleasure. ❜

❛ if i didn't know any better, i'd say you were jealous. ❜

❛ you'd look better down on your knees. ❜

❛ fine, keep acting like you hate me. ❜

❛ kiss me again. ❜

❛ are you asking me out on a date? ❜

❛ just sit there and look pretty and let me handle this. ❜

❛ you okay? caught you staring off into space again. ❜

❛ well, i do feel better now that you're here. ❜

❛ i'm not drunk enough for this. ❜

❛ why is it whenever we see each other, you’re covered in blood? ❜

❛ i was wrong about you. ❜

❛ the first time i met you, i had no idea you'd mean this much. ❜

❛ you gonna be a good girl / boy for me? ❜

❛ i’m not afraid of you. ❜

❛ books mean more to me than people anyway. ❜

❛ i just wanted to say thank you for protecting me. ❜

❛ how about a kiss goodnight? ❜

❛ i don’t have time for distractions right now. ❜

❛ you shouldn’t be out here by yourself. ❜

❛ if i have to think about one more thing today, my head will explode. ❜

You can keep it vague or add a brief description of a situation you'd like to see 💕

Please send in your requests!! It'll be a challenge for me to keep it relatively short, but I'm so excited for this!!! 💕

#bluebeary-jay's 1k party #i LOOOVE YOU GUYS!!! again big thank you!!!!#all requests will be x reader ofc and i aim to write them a bit shorter than my usual minimum ~3k #anyway im excited <3

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ghouljams · 6 months

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I am giving the go ahead to go and analyze. For I too am foaming at the mouth for the info dump of analyzing and putting songs to fics. I can't not listen to hozier when i read your works now.

Your works are just hozier coded to me

(am gunna also start signin off uvu)

- a hungry raccoon 🦝

My Darling I am Hozier coded. I am in love with that man, and nearly all my WIPs have a Hozier title because I'm a huge nerd. (I even got to see him in concert in september AAAAH he was so good)

Actually the Cowboy AU is the only one that doesn't have a Hozier title. Ghost/Goose's official title it "Here's Hoping(Things Look Better on the Other Side)." Which I'm not planning on changing but "I'll Crawl Home to You" would also work really well. Anyway Ghoul being pretentious under the cut.

So I am going to preface this saying that I believe Hozier has said the song is about addiction, the way it starts sweet and then you can't get out. But I have my own thoughts because I'm a romantic, and you're going to listen to them. I am going to interpret this as Ghost telling folks about Goose.

"Boys, workin' on empty Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat? I just think about my baby I'm so full of love I could barely eat There's nothing sweeter than my baby I'd never want once from the cherry tree 'Cause my baby's sweet as can be She give me toothaches just from kissin' me"

OK verse 1. The first two lines are very much Ghost's time in the military. He's not really there, he's an empty person, a shell for the SAS to command, and he faces hell every day like that. He's hopeless, but he doesn't have a need for it, hell is an inevitability to him. Lines 3 and 4, I think that's again him in the military. He thinks about the life he's never going to have. He barely eats, he's in survival mode, there's not a life worth living for him so he only does what he needs to. Then with line 5 we meet Goose, and with line 6 Ghost decides he never wants anyone else. There's nothing sweeter than his baby, no one that takes him the way she does, she sees him for all that he is and she wants him anyway.

Then the last line of verse 1. UGH. The guilt. This is Price's kid. He loves her but she's bad for him, he can't have her. And Goose is still sweet to him, even when they both know there's no future for this, she still is sweet. AND IT HURTS. It hurts Ghost to be around her and so he pushes her away.

"Boys, when my baby found me I was three days on a drunken sin I woke with her walls around me Nothin' in her room but an empty crib And I was burnin' up a fever I didn't care much how long I lived But I swear I thought I dreamed her She never asked me once about the wrong I did"

Verse 2, we'll cover the chorus at the end. Yeah the sins. The SINS. Ghost pushing Goose away, but also a callback to how they met, to the bar and choosing each other. When Goose found him he wasn't a person, he was Ghost, he was bound for hell and nothing was going to lift him from the lake of fire. But then lines 3/4, Goose doesn't push to break his walls down, in fact she sets up her own. Stakes a flag on his head that say's "Goose's do not touch" and somehow that works. He has a safety net the likes of which he's never had before, and when he turns to look at Goose he realizes she doesn't have much either.

Line 4? She's given her whole life to a cause the same way he has, she's never made a choice that wasn't for someone else. There are expectations that she's taken on that no one should have asked her to. Ghost sees that, sees that he's a choice too and he has to decide if he's a good one. I think again(I know I've said this a million times) that Ghost has lived his career like he's dying. He's never cared about whether he makes it out alive, as long as the people he's watching over live it's fine. But Goose tells him, "you're not allowed to die" and he believes her. She never asks him what brought him to this point, but she's there when he's ready to tell her.

"My babe would never fret none About what my hands and my body done If the Lord don't forgive me I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me When I was kissing on my baby And she put her love down soft and sweet In the low lamplight I was free Heaven and hell were words to me"

Verse 3, lfg. Despite being a worrier, Goose really doesn't worry over what Ghost did in special forces. He served under her father, and that's worth its weight in gold. For all his "I'm dangerous" talk, Ghost has never raised a hand to her, never tried to hurt her, and never done anything to make her think that Price was wrong to recruit him. For all the bad he may have done, Goose holds onto Ghost's hope that it was all for the greater good.

They we wrap up the verse, lines 3-8, it doesn't matter if Ghost is bound for hell because he has Goose now, and whatever happens they're in it together. Goose accepts Ghost as he is, she loves him for all his flaws, and she has him body and soul. Lines 4 and 7 feel very much like an admittance from Ghost that Goose really wears the pants in their relationship. She's the one steering their ship, and he's perfectly happy to take her orders. It's freeing for him to put himself into the hands of someone who loves him so unconditionally that she would stand up at the gates of heaven and demand he be allowed in. She'd fight Gabriel himself for Ghost. But he'd never ask her to, because it doesn't matter anymore.

Heaven and Hell are just words, they're not a promise or a reward, or a weight around his neck. He has Goose, and she has him, and that's his heaven. He's free from trying to scrape a shred of forgiveness from a higher power, Goose is his God now.

"When my time comes around Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her"

Yeah Chorussss. We love the grave metaphors for Ghost, very cheeky little backstory nods. He's crawled out of a grave once, and he can do it again. Nothing will keep him from Goose, and the peace that she offers him. What's heaven, what's hell? He can find better rest in her arms, and he will always crawl home to her.

But also! "Lay me gently" GENTLY, he wants to be taken care of. Even in the lowest points of his life. He begs for it over and over between every verse. "Treat me gently, even if I leave it behind give me comfort." Over and over again. He doesn't expect comfort except in death, but by the end I have to think: who's laying Ghost to rest? Goose probably, and she will always treat him gently. Because for as big and scary as Ghost is, he craves softness. He's built tall walls to hide the cracks in his armor, to hide the delicate underbelly, but it's still there waiting to be loved. And Goose loves him, for all of it.

#ghoul speaks #simon ghost riley #cod x oc #x oc #cowboy!ghost #simon ghost riley x oc #oc: goose #anywaaaaaaaay I love work song #and I love doing ghost analyses

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