#aab

[askaborderline]

hello, i'm looking for some advice. i've been struggling to get over a previous fp (we were very close friends for 6 years and they were my fp the entire time) and was wondering if you guys would have any tips on how to cope. i'm sorry if this is a little vague, i don't feel very up to talking about my past with them

Hi anon,

This sounds really hard, and I am sorry. Losing a FP can be so beyond words.

Some things I like to remind myself are:

The feelings are temporary. They will pass. No matter how crushing they may be, you won't feel like this forever. Sometimes it can help to remember that what we're feeling is temporary because when we forget that and think it's how we're going to feel forever, it can make us feel so hopeless. So here's your reminder. This isn't forever,.

You survived without them before, and you can do it again. I promise. It doesn't mean it'll be easy but it can help to have the reminder that we existed before then, and survived before them and we can do both of those things again.

Be kind to yourself. You are valid and you are allowed your emotions.

Healing is not linear. Grief isn't linear. And for a lot of us, when we lose our FP, it is something we need to heal from. It is something we grieve about. And it's okay if we feel ourselves doing better for a bit and then falling back. It doesn't mean you've failed or anything like that.

Some things I do:

Note that these are all personal things I do and aren't rules for how you should cope. I'm sure your own list will differ!

Focus on myself. Even when it's uncomfortable and I don't want to, I focus on my hobbies. I focus on finding new hobbies. Sometimes I make a list of different hobbies I've never tried, and then I go through it and try them at least once to see if I enjoy something. If not, it gets scratched off. These could be new shows, books, activities, etc.

Feel the emotions. Usually not all at once because it's too much, but my instinct is to bury the emotions. To turn my emotions off entirely ((I'm sure others relate to the turning them off thing. It's like a switch I can use). And it's uncomfortable, but sometimes I force myself to feel them. In bits as I can handle it. Allow yourself time to grieve.

Focus on my DBT skills like Urge Surfing for any urges that arise or Radical Acceptance for accepting my feelings.

Come up with a Crisis Plan in case I start to spiral.

I diversified my relationships. I think this is an important thing to do. Even if you have a FP currently. Diversifying your relationships to have other people in your support system can be really good.

This is a personal choice, but I cut off all ties. I kept screenshots of messages they wrote assuring me they cared and stuff like that. I deleted all screenshots. I also made sure I couldn't look at their profiles and check on them. I made sure their numbers were deleted and anything else.

I like to do nice things for someone else. It's hard sometimes to get there, but there's a feeling I get when I make someone smile or help someone out that makes me feel a bit lighter. It reminds me that I am valuable as I am. This is actually a part of the ACCEPTS skill if you're interested in reading more about that.

Work on forgiving myself. Maybe you don't feel you need this, and that's valid. But I did. I had to learn to forgive myself for not knowing better, for making mistakes, and I always remind myself that I am human. In connection with this, I work on letting go of any regrets I have. It's easier said than done, I know. It's important for me to remember that I can't change the past, so dwelling on any regrets doesn't help me. What I can do is learn from them and do better.

I know it's hard, anon. But it really does get better. I have lost FP's and thought the entire world was ending and that I would never recover. I still think about them sometimes, but it's such a dull ache that I barely notice it. It might always hurt a little, but it will be manageable.

Here are some other coping ideas for you.

You can do this anon,

April

#fp #losing a fp #mod april #aab

[rebekahandwoodstock]

Icon behavior opening and closing with tracks that have American in them

#Olivia Rodrigo #Olivia Rodrigo guts #Olivia Rodrigo sour #guts #sour #Livies #Livies hq #aab #so american

[experimentjr]

Commission done for @pikablob!!! More uns design for their D&D Campaign: Above and Below.

This is actually Pikablob's background (the second one) after I sent them the commission (the first one)!

Thank you so much for commissioning me once more :D

#above and below #aboveandbelow #aab #commissions #commission #guns #exjr commissions

[eclecticemmas]

Why do I only want to stitch Olivia’s sad lyrics? She’s just got a lot of good ones 😭

#olivia rodrigo #sour #guts #all American bitch #aab #all american bitch lyrics #guts olivia rodrigo #guts album #guts lyrics #a mother and a total machine #guts merch #olivia rodrigo art

[alienacidblood]

#alien acid blood #alienacidblood #aab #industrial metal #industrial ebm #industrial #ebm #ebm industrial #aliens #alien

[awashab]

For the love of new friends and good taste 🤍

#aab

[meditationxi]

Yankee Pot Roast Redux

All about braising: the art of uncomplicated cooking

Mêmes ingrédients mais drôlement meilleur que le bouilli de mes parents.

Là je comprends vraiment la distinction entre un ragoût (stew) et un braisé (braise).

J’ai voulu épaissir la sauce davantage avec un peu de farine: ajouté trop rapidement, ça a fait des mottons gélatineux. Sauvé le tout au pied mélangeur! Felt like sauce au poivre sans les grains.

La touche de sel finale est ✨

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[aceacebaby1]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT.

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[askaborderline]

I feel kind of alone in that my FP is not a romantic partner. It seems like everyone marries their FP and it's... disconcerting, because mine is part of my family.

You don't have to feel uncomfortable about that at all, plenty of people's FPs aren't romantic :) I've known pwBPD who had family members as FPs, or just close friends, I've even known someone w/ BPD whose FP was their dog... It can be anyone, romance is not required.

#mod jane #aab

[rebekahandwoodstock]

Two songs that give off the same vibe:

Both concert closers and made for the concert environment

#Louis Tomlinson #Olivia Rodrigo #aab #guts #fitf #fitfwt

[experimentjr]

Commission done for @pikablob!!! Guns design for their story: Above and Below.

This is actually Pikablob's background (the second one) after I sent them the commission (the first one)!

Thank you so much for commissioning me :D

#above and below #aboveandbelow #aab #commissions open #commissions #commission #open commissions #guns

[gl7007]

03.02.2023 ➡️ Planet Festival Tour ❤️‍🔥

Tickets available! 🎫 👽

#aab #alien acid blood #metal industrial #ebm metal

[dkavisen]

AaB forhandler med udenlandsk investor

AaB forhandler med udenlandsk investor

Som meddelt ultimo september så har bestyrelsen i AaB A/S i forbindelse med strategiarbejde undersøgt en henvendelse fra en potentiel udenlandsk investor. Fokus har været på at sikre fælles målsætninger, den rigtige kemi og de rigtige faglige kompetencer, der skal til for at videreudvikle klubbens sportslige sektor med AaB Akademiet som centrum. Disse sonderinger er forløbet positivt, hvorfor…

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[alienacidblood]

AAB/ИКК - The system of the gods

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[awashab]

Friends 🤍

All day, everyday

#aab #friends