#abortion storytelling

[liberaljane]

There's power in sharing your abortion story.

Join storytellers from all over country and Advocates for Youth and We Testify as we show up on social media to share #OurAbortionStories

As Renee Bracey Sherman said, "Everyone loves someone who has an abortion!"

#art #feminism #abortion #reproductive health #reproductive rights #abortion storytelling #shout your abortion #feminist #feminist art #liberaljane

[havenroyals]

GQ | Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III | Back | Next

#public bts #tw abortion #writeblr #sims 4 story #ts4 storytelling #ts4 simblr #ts4 #sims 4 storytelling #simblr #ts4 story #ts4 legacy #abortion #black simmer #black simblr

[kalissimsblog]

< Previous | Next >

#Thicker Than Water #TTW #ts4 #thesims4 #ts4 story #ts4 legacy #storytelling #simblr #Luna Sinclair #Aidan Cordova #pregnancy tw #pregnancy mention tw #abortion mention tw

[girlbob-boypants]

Children of Morta has...really weird vibes behind the writing

#girlbob.txt #like. the storytelling has basically told me where the creator stands on abortion even tho the story doesn't address it at all #it's fun and very very pretty but i'm #lowkey judging the writing choices in places

[thavron]

I was writing a meta post about the final fifteen and honestly it got so long an unwieldy that I gave up and just decided to live in denial land for a bit. But there is one piece of the puzzle I want to put out there, and that's how the flashbacks are edited, or one in particular.

I've seen a couple of great posts about how the flashback minisodes are edited in season two to be from Aziraphale's POV and not the Objective View, and if I was a better meta writer I'd have links for you, but I'm not, sorry. I've also seen a few posts discussing whether Aziraphale is a reliable narrator. That is definitely something we ought to consider when dealing with this sort of POV storytelling, but not entirely relevant to my post, but worth reading about if you have the time.

What I want to discuss is how the Metatron conversation is edited. We see Aziraphale go outside with the Metatron, this is the usual objective viewpoint. It then cuts to the scene inside the shop. We don't see the Metatron conversation again until Aziraphale is talking to Crowley. The way it is edited makes it very clear that this is not just a flashback but also Aziraphale recounting the tale. The use of "He said-" cut to scene, and "I said" cut to scene makes it as clear as the editor possibly can make it. It is a technique often used in editing to reduce exposition monologuing. Whether this is an accurate depiction of the Metatron conversation, we don't know but not actually relevant to my point (though worth thinking about).

What I want to point out is that Aziraphale chose to give Crowley four important pieces of information.

I don't want to go back to heaven.

There are enormous projects afoot. (consider that they have already discussed the possibility of a second Armageddon, though only Crowley knows about the Second Coming.)

They know about the Arrangement.

We could go together as angels.

He says all this in such a way that suggests he's fully drank the cool aid, but if we review the information without the dramatics it sounds more like a warning.

The use of double signalling ("it'll be like the old times, but even nicer" whilst shaking his head no) which occurs throughout the scene, this post and this video got me thinking about how deceptive Aziraphale is being. But he's not trying to deceive Crowley. He is trying to pass on the above information, hinting that he has a plan, whilst putting on a show for whoever is watching. He assumes Crowley is on the same page, and then it all falls apart when it becomes apparent that Crowley is really not. This is when he changes tack, and begins to panic.

He's left with the horrible task of trying to respond to Crowley's declaration positively, whilst not breaking the illusion. Which is why we get lines like "We can be together... as angels."

He also obviously sees them as a unit already (our car, our shop) and so it may not have he occurred to him that Crowley wouldn't just trust him and follow him into heaven. It's insensitive yes, but also not out of character for Aziraphale. I think this is the real kicker here, Aziraphale feels rejected because Crowley doesn't trust him enough to follow, and Crowley feels rejected because he doesn't feel good enough. Yet they are both clearly saying they want to be together.

I think the final few moments with Aziraphale and the Metatron is really what sells this idea to me. He is left undecided. He has the choice, abort mission and follow Crowley, or go ahead alone. He's devastated and you can see him wavering. If this was truly about him being excited to go back to heaven, I don't think we would see this indecision.

I can not decide just what is motivating Aziraphale to leave, whether he sees a sliver of hope to fix things in heaven, or whether he has decided to take on the role of hornet in a bees nest, but what is abundantly clear to me is that he has a plan and he wanted Crowley to help him, and Crowley said no. Or maybe he didn't. He was waiting by the car after all. Maybe this moment is what allowed him to move forward with a smile?

#good omens #good omens meta #my meta

[wowbright]

I never want to discourage anyone from commenting on fanfics that they enjoy when they want to share their appreciation with fanfic authors.

At the same time, I cannot convey how discouraging it is to me, as an author, to get comments on years-old fanfic that basically do nothing but tell me that I'm doing storytelling wrong. I have one story in particular where the character has a limited point of view and interprets a common phenomenon differently than many people who live in our real world interpret it. But this is intentional! It's an illustration of the character's thinking and point of view. But instead of people trusting that I might know what I'm doing, I *to this day* get comments from people who have never left a nice word on my fanfic about "well, apparently you don't know this, but actually, that's not the way the world works." And like, if they kept reading the story, maybe they would realize that the decision was intentional? But no, they feel the need to make the comment right off the bat. I mean, just *asking* me if the decision was intentional instead of telling me that I'm wrong would be an improvement. It would give me a chance to clarify, and if there is actually something in my writing I could change to make it clear that this is the character's point of view and not intended to be a representation of the real world, we could have that discussion and maybe I would improve as a writer in the future. But instead I get these discouraging "corrections" that really don't leave a lot of room for dialogue--because at this point I've gotten so tired of them that I just don't approve the comments. And a thing that could have become a dialogue and perhaps even a fandom friendship gets aborted right off the bat, because (even if it wasn't meant that way) it comes across as an intentionally bad-faith reading and, honestly, I don't want to form community with people who read things in bad faith.

(Now, if I already know you and you say something like this, I might find it discouraging but I will also know you're not acting in bad faith, so we can recover from it. But if you just randomly alight on people's fanfic to tell them they're doing it wrong, you're not going to get any sense of community out of fandom.)

On another note, this might be a good reason for well intentioned commenters to keep commenting on old fanfic! Because at this point I would say the majority of comments I get on that old fanfic are "correction" ones. Since the fanfic still gets kudos, I assume there are people still reading it and enjoying it, but I hear less from them. So if nothing else, leaving a kind comment, even something as little as a ❤️, on an old fanfic can help buffer authors against the negative comments they may continue to receive on that fic.

(And just because you don't see any negative comments in the comment section doesn't mean they aren't receiving them. On AO3 and many other platforms, authors can delete or screen out comments--so they could have received them but aren't letting them show up in their comments section.)

#fandom #fanfic #ao3 #rant #tumblr discourse #fandom wank #reblog okay

[creedslove]

HEARTLESS 💔 - PART TWO

Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels) x f!reader

Summary: much to your horror, Jack shows up again and asks you to see his son one more time

(This is the second part of the one shot HEARTLESS 💔)

Warnings: angst, hurt, a little bit of fluff because Wyatt is super cute, mom!reader, asshole!jack, mentions of abortion

A/N: besties honestly i don't even know why I am doing this, while i was writing, i realized i don't like this suffering at all 😭 i think agent whiskey is such a dad and husband material and he's so handsome and sexy and he would be so affectionate and would give the best orgasms and cuddles in the world but i can't stop myself from pouring angst into people's lives 😭

1.7k words

Wyatt whimpered as you sent him to bed. He wasn't sleepy at all and he wanted to talk about all the fun things he'd seen during the day. He loved to run freely through the green fields, he liked scaring away the chickens, petting the horses and watching the baby pigs. 

But his favorite part of the trip was the cowboy. He was so cool, Wyatt spent the rest of the day blabbering about him and asking you all kinds of questions. He was so innocent and pure, your heart shattered each time he would look at you with his little curious eyes and shoot you another question about the mysterious figure. 

Though he wasn't mysterious at all. It was his dad, not that Wyatt knew about it, you figured he was just too little for that, he was still your baby. He wasn't even four yet and he had to live his little life with only his mama as he'd been rejected by his dad since he was just a small little bean in your womb. 

You saw his begging, pleading eyes, just like Jack's and felt your heart clench, there was nothing he would ask you and you would say no. You sighed and pulled Wyatt into your lap "fine baby boy, if you don't wanna sleep now, then come cuddle mama!!!" You tickled his tummy and made him squeal and snuggle you. 

You sat comfortably in his small bed and let him sprawl over you, loving how happy he got. You ran your fingers through his soft curls and pecked the top of his head. He was waiting for a bedtime story as you always told him one, but this time, he wanted a cowboy story. You swallowed and took his tiny little hand into yours, stroking it gently 

"You really liked that cowboy, didn't you?" You asked your son and earned an excited nod "alright… let mama think…" you closed your eyes and thought of any story you could tell him, however, you didn't know any cowboy stories… the only cowboy story you knew was your cowboy… but that was a long time ago, when he was yours and you were his. 

Still, Wyatt looked up curiously, waiting to know what you had to tell him. 

You swallowed and began telling him the story about your cowboy. 

With a few modifications, some sugar coating and softness you told your son about your first encounter with the cowboy and how it made your heart melt. You told him how you two hit off and how the cowboy had a real nice job of fighting bad guys and saving the world, you couldn't control the pride in your chest as you saw the joy in Wyatt's eyes, loving that storytelling so much he often gasped and giggled.

And going down the memory lane, you managed to make your son sleepy, as he blinked his tired eyes and yawned "night night mama" he whispered before falling asleep.

You smiled at yourself and covered him up, silently walking out the bedroom and walked around your dark, empty apartment. Your mind wouldn't stop replaying the images of your day, your sudden encounter with Jack, something you really thought wouldn't happen soon. He looked handsome, like he always did, smelling great and if you didn't know any better, you would probably fall for his trap again, if he flashed you those beautiful eyes, gave you a grin and said any dumb pickup line with his accent. There was just something so attractive about him, and you had fallen for him once, but you wouldn't make the same mistake twice. 

You thought about how he hugged Wyatt, it didn't even seem the same man who rejected him, who simply broke things up with you once you found out you were pregnant. One day you were deeply in love with each other, and the next he was suggesting you get an abortion. It was something you just couldn't handle, you couldn't accept and just like you were alone in the world with your baby. 

When the doorbell rang, your heart clenched once more, you didn't even need to check, you just knew it was Jack. 

You dried your eyes and sighed, walking to the door and opening it for him. 

Jack stood there, looking almost as unsure as you did. He was holding his hat in hands and watched you hesitantly. You could tell he was looking for words to say, but nothing came out. 

"Come on in, Jack" you said and let him step inside, closing the door behind him and letting him get familiar with the place. 

Jack looked all over the place, he had never been inside your home and it hurt him how it looked homey and cozy. No matter how much he spent on decoration at his own place, he could never get it like that. 

He carefully watched the picture frames, so many photos of a life that could have been his as well, but he chose not to be a part of it, it didn't even matter his reasons now, the result was there: pictures of you on your baby shower, pictures of the first time you held Wyatt in your arms, his first birthday, his first day at daycare, mother's day… all those precious, beautiful moments, and absolutely no trace of Jack. 

"It's good seeing you again, Y/N… you look even prettier than before, sugar" the man turned to you, his voice was small and though his cocky way of speaking wasn't there, you couldn't believe the first thing he told you in years was a cheap attempt of charming you.

"What do you want Jack?" You folded your arms and stared at him, you didn't want to play games nor beat around the bush.

"I wanna be around my boy" he replied to which you scoffed and shook your head 

"Your boy? The same one that you rejected when he was nothing but a tiny little bean in my womb? The one you insisted on me getting rid of? I don't think so, Jack" 

He sighed ashamed of his past and took a step closer, to which you immediately took a step back, showing him you wanted nothing but distance from him. 

"I know what I did, and I know how awful it was, but after I saw him today… I realized I can't get away… please Y/N" 

"You think you can just walk in and demand to see my son? After you abandoned us? He isn't a cute puppy, Jack! You can't just find him sweet because you spent five minutes with him and think you can bring your shit storm into our lives. That's not how it works. I don't want him around you, because you are a mess and you will break his heart just like you broke mine!" 

"I didn't abandon you, Y/N. Don't be unfair with me!!! All these years, I followed the two of you from afar, I provided you with money and other things you needed.. hell, who do you think managed to get you this apartment lease?" He raised his eyebrow getting on the defensive "I wanna do it the right way, but if you make things hard, I'll get a damn lawyer and you will have to fight your cut ass off to pay for one yourself because I won't rest until I have my boy with me!!!" 

You knew Jack, he wasn't bluffing. He was the kind of man who got everything he wanted, but you just couldn't accept he could walk into your home and have a claim on your son after everything that happened, even threatening you to find an attorney. 

"It's not the same… money helps but it is not everything, where were you when I was pregnant and alone? When I needed someone to hold my hand and tell me things were fine? Where were you, Jack? When Wyatt had his first fever and I didn't know how I could help him calm down? When he said his first words? When he took his first step? You missed it all out, even if you had given me your whole fortune, nothing pays the memories you lost!" 

"I just want to see my son, nothing else Y/N… I don't want you, I don't want our relationship back" he said knowing it would sting you, he couldn't help but make his intentions clear. You two would never be together again, he knew that because you would never take him back, so he thought it was easier to just convince himself of it beforehand. 

You, on the other hand, could never be with him again, even if he hadn't done the things he did, there was still no way you could compete with a ghost, you just thought it was easier to convince yourself Jack never stopped loving his first wife and he never would, so your relationship was nothing but an adventure. 

You didn't want him to see the tears in your eyes, you didn't want to show how weak you felt at that moment. 

Before any of you could say anything else, tiny footsteps interrupted the argument that was about to explode. 

"Cowboy!!!" Wyatt said excitedly as he still rubbed his tired eyes but ran to Jack, giggling as he was so easily lifted up into his arms. The toddler was so affectionate, he just wrapped his small arms around his neck once more and rested his head against Jack's shoulder "miss you cowboy!" he giggled happily and snuggled.

You bit your lips and did your best not to cry, but it was pretty much impossible, you couldn't understand why your son liked that man so much without even knowing him. It wasn't fair to you, and you were ashamed to realize you felt jealous. 

Jack, on the other hand, felt his heart fill with pure joy for the first time in ages. He quickly kept Wyatt in a warm embrace, loving the smell of his baby shampoo and how cute his PJs were. 

His hand rubbed up and down his back as he sat on the couch, letting him relax completely and in a matter of minutes, Wyatt was back in dreamland.

You hated how easy it was for Jack to make your son fall asleep, and how much they already liked each other, it hurt you so much, but you were determined not to let that man get near you again.

_____

A/N: ¿Malparido, no?

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal imagine #agent whiskey #agent whiskey x reader #agent whiskey x you #agent whiskey x y/n #agent whiskey fanfiction #agent whiskey fanfic #agent whiskey imagine #jack daniels #jack daniels x reader #jack daniels x y/n #jack daniels x you #jack daniels fanfiction #jack daniels fanfic #jack daniels imagine

[chai-and-cherries]

5 Insanely Underrated (Dark) Queer Book Recs for Your TBR (No Spoiler Reviews!)

I ain’t gonna beat around the bush, folks--this post has been a long time coming. Over the past year, I have somehow stumbled into my new favorite genre, leaving the careful days of YA comforting fantasy reads behind (but not forgotten!). I used to never be one for the dark, grisly, and not so man-made horrors beyond comprehension. But with the help of time, mind devouring storytelling, and gut wrenching emotions the world loves to carve out of us all, tastes have changed! So without further ado, let me recommend 5 of my favorite (darker) queer reads of 2022. Titles are linked to official Goodreads summaries while I have included my no-spoiler reviews below.

Some of these are horror, some fantasy, some tragedy, and most a mix of the above. As the new year draws closer, if you’re feeling ready to branch out (or branch in!!) please consider giving these severely underrated titles a read. And support lesser known authors while you’re at it!

As the title of the post implies, these books tend to brew darker than your average cup ‘a joe. So please heed included trigger warnings and take care! 

1. You Will Love What You Have Killed by Kevin Lambert

(Original title: Tu aimeras ce que tu as tué. English Translation by Winkler Donald).

Genres: Adult Fiction, Horror, Canadian Literature, Queer AF

Review: If you’re not a fan of blood, gore, and every horror under the dying sun, scroll away now. Starting off incredibly strong and incredibly twisted with French-Canadian Lambert’s debut novel, You Will Love What You Have Killed, this novel is neither for the faint of heart nor some of the hard of heart. I went into this book knowing next to nothing about what was in store and left somehow feeling more empty than before. As arguably the darkest and most gory book on the list, this surrealist take on childhood rage and post-humous revenge on the town that discarded you before you had a chance to fight back is bound to haunt you long after you’ve finished it. Lambert’s own style of dark and nauseatingly twisted humor will either seal the deal for you, or leave you running for the hills. To be honest, I loathe this book as much I appreciate the queer, surrealist landscape of apocalyptic vengeance. Brownie points for being flat-out strange.

Content Warnings: if you can think of it, chances are its here. loads of death and murder, including that of children, suicide; ableism; homophobia, transphobia; pedophilia, rape, sexual abuse, explicit sexual descriptions, abortion, necrophilia; animal abuse, killing of animals; child abuse, emotional abuse and verbal abuse (by the narrator); cancer; 9/11 (comprehensive list via Ashton on GoodReads)

2. Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White

Genres: YA Fantasy, Horror, Sci-Fi/Dystopian, Queer AF

Blurb: In this world on the brink of man-made/god-induced apocalypse, trans-boy Benji has to fight not only to survive a hellscape determined to burn itself to the ground, but also his own role in bringing about the End. Hell Followed With Us is a queer rage manifesto, the gospel for those forced to become monsters by the same society that weaponized and then condemned them for being such. White’s novel not only brought healing to a large part of my own religious trauma, but it helped me embrace the very “monster” the so called righteous would have damned. Because when the world will villianize you anyway, revolution may very well be embracing the monster within--the monster the world forced into being. This one is definitely a keeper, and definitely a re-reader. The character diversity in this book is incredible, also for the simple fact that it isn’t forced or seemingly “trying to meet a quota”, and for canonically calling out [redacted].  

Content Warnings: For a comprehensive list courtesy of the author himself, please visit his website here. 

3. Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke by Eric LaRocca

Genres: Adult Fiction, Horror/Psychological Thriller, Short-Stories, Queer AF

Blurb: Shorter but no less impactful than the rest, Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke is a twisted foray into the psychology of human obsession. After reading the blurb, I tried to prepare myself for the following unease and depravity I was promised. And god was that promise delivered on a silver poisoned platter. Set to the backdrop of chat forums and online messaging, LaRocca weaves a sadomasochistic love story between two women searching for deeper connection. But love isn’t exactly the right word, is it? After all, things can only get worse from the start. Suffice to say, wholesome does not live in these pages. And I need more. 

Content Warnings: animal cruelty/death, body horror, gore, mental/emotional abuse, exploration of kink, very toxic example of a dom/sub relationship.

4. Angels Before Man by Rafael Nicolás

Genres: Adult Fantasy, Mythology Retelling, Romance, Paranormal, Queer AF

Blurb: I try not to pick favorites on list recs, but as my most recent read of the year, Nicolás’ debut novel has quickly been shelved in my mind and heart’s hall of fame. Angels Before Man is a queer retelling of the fall of Lucifer from a paradise that may not be as, well, paradise as it seems. With narrative prose so poetic that epics of the ancient world come to mind, and themes of religious rebellion and queer rage reminiscent not only of other novels on this list but also the lives of countless individuals whose love warns at revolution, Angels Before Man tells the story of the greatest disobedience Heaven had to face: the creation of sin, born from the first love that turned a jealous god to rage. As ABM only released weeks ago, I sincerely hope it’s only the beginning for this book and author. Bible? Who needs her. The Word of God? I don’t even know her. I’ve got Angels Before Man. And so will my friends because I’m gifting them this heavenly-gem (heh, see what I did there?) for the holidays. 

Content Warnings: Courtesy of the author himself (list also included at start of book): Blasphemy, off-page sexual assault with related internal monologue post-incident, Self-harm, Atypical depiction of grooming, Animal death, Abuse (emotional, physical), Sexual content, Body horror, Graphic depictions of violence, Incestuous term use, Potential correlation to homosexuality being sinful, Depictions of mental instability

5. Siren Queen by Nghi Vo

Genres: Historical Fiction, Historical Fantasy, Magic Realism, Queer AF

Blurb: Of the 5 recs on the list, I have to be honest and say with full disclosure that this is my one cheat as I have not actually finished it yet. But as I can attest from the 60% progress I have made, along with two of my close friends who recommended her in the first place, Siren Queen is a breath of fresh air in a genre that is understandably stifling at times. Interweaving the monstrous industry of Hollywood with actual monsters, Siren Queen explores the sacrifices made and prices paid for the chance at stardom and just being seen, all while embracing the monster society demands of us. Largely character-driven, this book has been a slower read than the rest, but its commentary on workers’ rights and inequalities, among other social issues often at the forefront of WASPish-run Hollywood, has kept me engaged since the start. 

Content Warnings: racism, racial slurs, fatphobia, violence, family violence, homophobia, sexism, drug abuse, addiction.

#book recs #book recs 2022 #queer book recs #you will love what you have killed #Kevin Lambert #hell followed with us #Andrew Joseph White #angels before man #rafael nicolás #things have gotten worse since we last spoke #eric larocca #siren queen #nghi vo

[fg083nrt]

KAKUHIDA fic recs 💴🩸

Everything in this list is either M or E-rated. Very low possibility of anything T-rated. Most links are ao3, but some are livejournal, fanfiction.net or ficbook or pixiv.

Disclaimer: I do not actually know 4 languages; I just use Google Translate or Depl because I am insane.

TOP FAVES in no particular order

[Mandarin]【角飞】都市谋杀之夜 by Liebestorm 

Ballet dancer Hidan + black alley doctor Kakuzu. Incredible story, full of casual cruelty, there’s death, there’s body horror, there’s physical and mental suffering - all things Kakuhida. I think about this story a lot. The accuracy of their depiction in the modern setting is stunning. Head the warnings. There are many.

Content Warnings: abortion, amputation, violence, abuse, cruelty.

By the same author 【吸血鬼AU】以圣灵的名义…  Vampire AU! A small, fun story about two vampires hunting together. Some really cute romantic cannibalism.

[Russian] Мертвый сезон by Tiferet (taubenblautiferet)

PART 1 | PART 2 

“Can a country boy and a big city man fall in love?” 

Hot spring worker Hidan and ex-yakuza accountant Kakuzu on vacation. Lots of ghosts (well, just one, but oh man), curses(???), sex, Tokyo life and a demonic God that wants to have a talk. Very dear to my heart. Watching Kakuzu drop his guard down when faced with Hidan’s relentless naivete and determination makes my brain go all mushy.

Literally, anything by this author is top-tier storytelling writing, and you know you are always in for a fun ride!!

If you are looking for something more lighthearted, try ХИДАН ЛАЖАЕТ. It’s a fun story about video game streamer Hidan and his secret admirer, Kakuzu. 

[English] Is it Life or Art? by lilac_bramble  

This story is just so much fun, London socialite/model/”personality” Hidan and investment banker Kakuzu. Truly like peak Kakuhida to me. I really enjoy their relationship here. Their chemistry just works so well. This story is nearly the same word count as Game of Thrones. I am not joking. I am obsessed with authors' in-depth, detailed little tidbits of life in London. 

[Japanese] 【角飛】めまゐ【web再録】by Puola 

I love stories about characters told by someone completely unrelated, like a view from outside. I think this story does it so well. I loved seeing the tiny glimpses into how other people see them. It’s a short but a very special story. They cannot escape ‘These two really care for each other’ allegations. 

[Russian] Небо класса S by  бабаягапротив 

*DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE DEIDARA FAN OR SASODEI FAN

It is a truly amazing story from start to finish. I couldn’t stop reading it. Cruel, funny, witty dialogue, violence, great character insight, everything juicy remains in subtext and subtext alone. Lots of fun revelations are left up to the reader's interpretation, which I really enjoyed. Great example of how a sex scene can be used to show more hidden aspects of a relationship and how the two come together. The whole premise is really unusual and refreshing.

[English] Like steps of passing ghosts by Sneakend 

The storytelling reminds me of an official Naruto light novel. The same like tempo and the dynamic between them just feels very much like them. The story premise is simple but satisfying. I love it when Hidan is affected by the supernatural.

[English] In Limbs and Joints by orphan_account 

Zombie AU. Loved, loved, loved the ending. I hate reading zombie AU, where characters survive for a bit too long makes everything drag on and on. This story is perfect. We get them coming in, and then the end feels even more gut-wrenching but also super satisfying. Really well done!

[English] Kakuzu and the Temple of Jashin by fauvester

Ultimate comfort story. It’s camp; it’s scary, it’s gory, it’s funny. I just love everything about this story.

Genre clusters

Genre: “Corrupt Priest Hidan”

[Russian] Ничего святого by меровинген 

Church Cardinal Hidan + Thief Kakuzu. Really hot!

2. [English] Madness by JonShiiiiiDesu

Holy Son Hidan + Black Plague Doctor Kakuzu. The premise and the setting is really fun!

Genre: “Kakuzu goes to a bar, spots Hidan being his weird, insane self, and then simply has no other choice but to  fuck him in the men’s washroom.”

[Russian] Оседлавший торнадо by Tiferet

Calgary stampede Kakuhida. Insert cowboy emoji. Great story! May be helping with translation soon.

2. [Russian] Горючее by AmberWha1e 

Hidan picks Kakuzu up at a bar but loses his number.

3. [Russian] 5:49 в Стерджен-Бей by Neverhere 

Pure romance. Modern AU, as well!

Check out another fic by the same author Таинство любви 

Hidan gives head in a church! Fun!

4. [Russian] Чистюля by меровинген 

Casino coworkers Kakuhida, I love this authors Kakuzu! 

+There was another fanfic that was like so unhinged, but it got deleted, I will miss it forever.

More

[English] Beloved Schism by ThisCatastrophe 

Saint!Hidan+Mercenary!Kakuzu. Really interesting setting packed with catholic tidbits.

[English] Evolution of Us by SenkoWakimarin 

I remember reading this story on LiveJournal, a classic.

Gentleness by the same author. They are an OG! 

[English] True Intentions by sweetdreamz

Unfinished, but it’s so hot and cute I don’t care. Virgin!Kakuzu is a rare commodity. 

[English] take the hand and arm by shannyan

Sex pollen! Check out more from that author.  

[English] Bring Me Back A Dog by W0lfism 

Fuckfest AND a really fun plot!!! All in one!!! Any KKHD by Wolf is top-notch porn.

[English] Gentle Rains Trailer Park by HidansCrazyLaugh

Trailer park AU! Really love this one 

[Russian] The Third Weakness by Цагн

Modern prison AU focused on Kakuzu and his fateful meeting with Hidan.

Their other works for them are awesome too  

[English] Irredeemable Paradise by ManicR

This style is rare nowadays I like this. 

[English] Heaven by Crystaline-Crimson

Similarly rare style.  

[English] Another Mess by Un.filltered

A short and fun sex session on a table.

[Japanese] どうぞこの身を召し上がれ by Kiyo

Cake and Fork AU, it’s a variation of omegaverse, but with more focus on cannibalism. Romantic goreporn!

#kakuhida #kakuzu #hidan #fic rec #akatsuki #brainworms #i have a ton more in my bookmarks but i think this might be a good starting point rec list

[mariaxxxxx]

Chapter 3- My future in gold and jade

Summary: To save your nation You are given as a bride to a sea god.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY/ Minors DNI, Angust, Hurt comfort, Sex, Apologies, Crying, Creampie, Passionate sex, virgin!reader, size difference, smut, soft!dom!, HEA, somnophille, slight degradation, duvious consent, pregnancy, arranged marriage, inexperienced reader, abortion commented, unprotected sex (don't do that wrap this thing), kidnapping, aftercare, curse words.

A/N: English is not my mother tongue. I apologize for any errors.

A/N: Reader is heavily implied to be Mexican but i tried to keep it as free to the imagination as possible

Curiosity: A friend asked me what period my story takes place in, well, although I didn't specify, it is very implicit that everything takes place in the colonial period. Namor obtains his queen (You) at least 200 years after burying his mother; As we know, our water daddy ages very slowly and he was around 70/80 years old when he said goodbye to his mother, but he had the appearance of a boy of no more than 13 years old. In my story he already has the appearance we know in the film, perhaps, with some small touches of subtle youth. The characters Namora and Attuma will not be present in this fic, as they were not born yet, I guarantee that later on the reader will have contact with the people who would become the great-grandparents of these iconic characters.

Work count: 1.020

Serie materialist

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

You could have a million lives, but it wouldn't be enough to describe the beauty of the man in front of you. Adorned in gold, jade and lazulite, with his modesty being covered by a white loincloth with checkered embroidery, in his beautiful nose a jade piercing and in his pointed ears earrings also decorated with green stone, his skin shone like liquid gold under the yellowish light from the cabin; the figure was so imposing that You believed you were in the presence of a God.

He smiled wide in her direction, exposing all his white, perfectly aligned teeth. He was standing in front of you, with an upright posture and hands clasped in front of his body. A beautiful body; You noticed. He wore nothing to cover his bare chest. You noticed that on his ankles there were two pairs of wings; just like his father had said.

“You’re even more beautiful up close.” He broke the silence.

"You speak my language." Although it wasn't his intention, his voice came out as a mere whisper. He seemed to have fun with it.

“I see they took very good care of You.” He gestured with his right arm as he spoke; indicating her figure covered in a beautiful dress and precious jewelry. His brain took a while to understand that the ‘‘they’’ he was referring to were the blue-skinned girls who had bathed and dressed him.

"Yes. They took very good care of me.” You said. “I feel like I should say thank you, but I don’t know how to do it.”

"Don't worry about that. I will tell them myself how pleased their queen is with the result.”

Queen, the word echoed in his mind. So he was a king? Were you his queen? Everything seemed so confusing to You. The information you were given proved useless at this point.

“I…” You started to speak, but the words slipped off your tongue. You knew what to say what to do what to think.

"You...?" he encouraged.

“What should I call him? I am your wife, but I know nothing about You.”

It seemed like the right question, because the man, The God, puffed out his chest and approached You. As he approached, You felt the wave of heat that his skin exuded.

“K’uk’ulkan. That’s what my people call me and that’s what my queen will call me.”

“K'uk'ulkan” You repeated the word quietly, testing the sound on your lips. The name was as beautiful as the one to whom it belonged.

“Come, sit next to me. I have a lot to tell you.”

The man was a talented storyteller and You were a curious listener. He told him how long ago his people were driven from their corn farms by white invaders; He explained how disease and genocide forced his people to look for alternative solutions to save themselves. It was a shaman, he said, who prayed to the God Chaac for an answer and the God responded. In a vision he was shown a plant, at the bottom of the sea, with sacred properties that would free the people from hunger and destruction.

His mother, his mother-in-law, refused to ingest the plant for fear of hurting the baby growing in her womb, but the Xama was convincing and she was promised that the seed growing in her womb would be the leader of this new nation. Then he, K'uk'ulkan, was born on prayers and salt water. With his ears pointed towards the stars and his feathered ankles, being able to breathe in and out of the water, he was given a throne when he was still just a few days old. His mother died at an advanced age and her body was buried on the surface, on the land from which she claimed to return.

“My mother is buried on the land where you belong. I cannot let his resting place be desecrated again by those colonizers.”

"I'm very sorry." You whispered. “It must have been painful to lose someone so important.”

“Don’t feel sorry for me, my queen. Use this deplorable feeling for those who deserve it. Those who invade taking what does not belong to them, those who deprive mothers of their children and wives of their husbands. What I will do to the invaders will be pitiful.”

“How should I thank the savior of my people?” You questioned, eyes shining in anticipation. You were his to play with, to mold; his destiny was ingrained between that man's fingers.

“Your father already did this for you the moment your hand was offered to me in marriage.” He paused. “A brave man, I admit. He gave his most precious possession to a stranger.”

You noticed a tone of irritation in his voice, as if the idea of You being handed over so easily was absurd.

“Desperate measures require desperate solutions. My father did what was necessary to protect his people and I don't blame him for that; What is a single life to save millions?”

He seemed proud of his words, proof of which was a huge smile that appeared on his lips.

“Sometimes, my queen, alternative measures can be taken that preserve a single life and the lives of millions.”

"I am a princess. And a princess's mission can never cease. I must serve my nation and its role to play, the hopes of my people I can never disappoint.” You said. “These words were whispered in my ears the moment I took my first breath of life and these are the words I repeated to myself when I was told that I would be handed over to a being that flies beneath the waves. I was afraid, I felt angry at my father and those who failed to protect me, but the lives of my people are much more important than my wishes.”

The man, her husband, leaned forward until his face was mere inches from hers. He placed his hand right on her cheek. You closed your eyes, enjoying that intimate and affectionate act.

“The gods sent a good queen to me.”

#namor x reader #black panther #namor of talokan #namor x y/n #namor x you #talokan #wakanda forever #namor smut #namor the sub mariner #namor #tenoch huerta

[anonymousredactedconfessions]

To the anon asking if there were other boyfriend ASMR/audio roleplay channels with plots at least on par with Redacted, you're in luck! I mostly listen to plot-driven stuff so here's my recommendations.

Good Boy Audios: He has multiple series, all of them take place in the same universe but in different settings. His romance is a lot more slower burn than something like Redacted but that's fine, because I like slow burn and the plots keep me hooked. I recommend Bastard Warrior and Space Pirate Saga.

Escaped Audios: Super cinematic channel with a very strong focus on storytelling. He has a good balance between adventure and romance, and his playlists perfectly blend the two in almost every series. All of of his series feel like living through a movie. I recommend The Neon Barbarian/Neon Wings if you like bittersweet romance/angst, and The New Jersey Rats if you prefer a more light-hearted romantic adventure.

ZSakuVA: Priest already mentioned him but he's great. He has tons of characters who each have their own playlist. Some of his characters occupy the same universe and share the same story, kind of like what Redacted does. I recommend listening to his Elias (mafia son) and Issac (boss) playlists back to back, they complete eachother's stories and I love the boyfriend stuff.

Desmond ASMR: He uploads on a really slow schedule but all of his videos are super long and well made, almost movie length sometimes. I love his voice and his characters, and there's always an element of adventure in his work. I recommend his arranged marriage series and his gladiator series.

Siren's Son: He's kind of like Redacted in that a lot of his work takes place in a shared universe and there's a mix of both plot-driven arcs as well as fluff/comfort/boyfriend roleplay arcs scattered throughout. His Westhaven series is one of my comfort series that I re-listen to over and over. Also, honorable mention to Obsidian Lantern. Siren's Son and him collab together on a series called Gator Boys set in SS's universe and it's great.

Scythe Audio: A super exciting channel. He has romance/boyfriend roleplay but he's more of a story and action focused channel (we love him for it). I love his fucked up monstrous and villainous characters. I've been obsessed with his V/Villain Saga for like two years now and it just keeps getting better. I also recommend his Werewolf action/horror series, The Alpha Claw Saga.

Nomad's Tales: He's been around a long time and has a huge body of work with really entertaining series. He's just now starting season two of his series Frosthaven so it's the perfect time to catch up! I also like his Yandere Knight playlist and A Theif's Tale (a modern romance/thriller).

Those are the best story driven boyfriend ASMR/audio roleplay channels I know of. If anyone has more recommendations I'd love to hear them.

- 🖤 Blackheart anon

.

(usually don't respond to confessions and whatnot, but i will say that you should probably NOT support Siren's Son. He has made it very clear that he is anti-choice/pro-forced birth/anti-abortion/pro-life whatever you wanna call it. I wouldn't be giving youtube revenue money to someone that thinks half the human population doesn't deserve or have a right to bodily autonomy)

Receipts below the cut.

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #the priest speaks #🖤 blackheart anon #not a confession

[emma-radfemcanu]

I'm only like 100 pages into A Manual for Cleaning Women by Lucia Berlin but it is honestly not an exaggeration to say I think it has changed my life

It's a collection of short stories that she wrote throughout her life, mostly between the 1960s-1980s. I had never heard of her before but I saw it randomly in a bookshop and the title stuck out to me. A lot of the stories are seemingly based on her own life (in the foreword there's a quote from one of her sons saying that she 'wrote true stories, not necessarily autobiographical' which is a sentiment I like)

They're mostly in the first person, and they all depict the lives of working class women and they all feel so real- most of them are just a few pages long and yet you get so invested and the storytelling is incredible. There's one about an abortion clinic, a couple which refer to being a little girl going to a catholic school, the titular story is about a woman on her way to work talking about all the people she cleans for

I am really not doing it justice here (so much for my English lit degree lol I am out of practice) but I have truly never read anything like it. I highly recommend it

[panlight]

This is unrelated to anything, but my favorite thing about Carlisle is that whatever Edward tells Bella/the reader about him is wrong in every way. Like, Edward thinks he’s damned so the implication is that Carlisle, a former priest, thinks the same and encourages Edward to believe that, but this is disputed in New Moon. In Breaking Dawn, Edward is convinced that Carlisle would forcibly abort Bella’s baby if it weren’t for Rosalie, but Carlisle confirms he would never do such a thing to Jacob.

Even when Edward shares details of their backstories, he just glosses over crucial information pertaining to Carlisle and it is so funny. Edward mentions Carlisle spent a few decades with the Volturi and this is treated like it’s nothing. Edward completely cuts Elizabeth out of the story, making it seem like Carlisle chose him because he thought he was special, and we only learn about Elizabeth from Carlisle himself. Granted, this could be because SMeyer didn’t come up with that until New Moon, but it does make me reevaluate Edward’s testimony on… anything. I know human memories are blurry to vampires, but they’re not erased like Alice’s were because she was subjected to brain injury inducing electroshock therapy. So it feels like Edward’s exclusion of Elizabeth was deliberate. Lastly, Edward’s disdain for human-blood-drinking vampires and his assumption that his family has equal disregard for them is especially ironic when all of those human-blood-drinking vampires who come to the Cullens’ aid in Breaking Dawn are Carlisle’s besties.

It makes me question Edward’s thoughts on everything, and I feel like the fandom takes a lot of what he says as absolute truth (such as Rosalie being meant for him or Rosalie wanting Bella to die so she could raise the baby) because he’s a mind reader, but his perception and misunderstanding of Carlisle, his beloved father and oldest companion, throws that out the window.

Oh yes, this! I used to say "Edward is not a good storyteller" because he leaves out crucial details all the time. And whether that's a conscious choice on his part to leave things out or he's Just a Teenager who makes himself the focus of everything, I don't know. (Or, as you suggest, that SM didn't flesh out the stories until later so Edward was giving accurate information in the moment but the stories changed).

The other two examples are Esme and Rosalie's backstories, too. With Esme, he makes it sound like, again, Carlisle just found this random dying person and chose to save her; he completely leaves out they had met before. And with Rosalie he makes it sound like the only reason Carlisle 'saved' her was so Edward could have a girlfriend. But when you hear the story from Rosalie's POV it's not like that, and ROSALIE of all people would not be trying to paint Carlisle in a more positive light, so I trust her more. Rosalie talks about hearing him say how terrible what happened to her was, how he couldn't just leave her, what a waste of a young life, etc and that she was free to go off on her own if that's what she wanted. Absolutely nothing about matchmaking or suggesting they get together. Even the guide says it was in 'the back of his mind' and while "omg this poor girl, I can't leave her here, and hey maybe she and Edward will hit it off if she decides to stay with us" isn't super great, it's not nearly so creepy as "here Edward, I found a wife for you" as Edward sort of implies.

And I do often see fandom/fanfic taking Edward's word for it; Carlisle gets a lot of flack for 'changing Rosalie for Edward' and being willing to abort Bella's pregnancy against her will, but when those incidents are seen from the POV's of other characters, Edward's understanding of those moments is called into question.

#asks #edward is not a good storyteller

[archivalofsins]

Time to take the idea that Kazui knew he was lying to his spouse from the beginning out back and put it down. Surprisingly not with my feelings but hard evidence and statements Milgram has been making about Kazui's crime/sin from the beginning.

Coming from someone who doesn't even think his crime is a result of divorce in general but actual murder just like I do with all the prisoners.

Yet, I'm not going to unpack that anytime soon. Simply because certain logic to justify voting him guilty based on the idea that his honesty led his ex to taking their own life is pissing me off. Also, because it's funny to me that no one else has figured out what he did yet when it's incredibly obvious to me.

Okay well, how do we know that Kazui was not lying when he married his wife initially? Despite him visually showing some misgivings around it in Cat.

Simple all of Half tells us so with lyrics such as,

"The curse of reuniting with you puts a dagger in my heart. I imagined that you saying, "See you" is the same as "It's over”. Only if your heart would change but that’s not possible. Please, tell me what I should do, my heart will float away and disappear."

Through a beautiful thing called being an active reader we can learn a lot from the lyrics in all the Milgram characters' songs. As those themselves are a form of storytelling.

X

However, only if one is so inclined to. Active reading and one's ability to do so are heavily impacted by the biases one already holds or how averse to the material being discussed one is. The relationship between active reading and bias has been noted many times before.

It's been stated that actively reading or engaging with material of any kind is a good way to have individuals of any age confront their personal biases but it can also reinforce those biases as well.

Bias not only impacts how one interacts with reading, but most communications related concepts.

X

A timely example in this case would be how if one already has an aversion to hearing about lgbtqia individuals coming out and divorcing their spouses or in Es' case as stated in the voice drama have a,

It’s a personal dislike of mine. People who act based on their sexual urges like that, that is.

"It’s personal?"

Yeah. That’s right.

"That’s strange. I did think that, despite being neutral as a Warden, you had some things you dislike, but…"

An individual with those preconceived biases is already not going to engage in the text fully simply because it's something they dislike.

The first step to reinforcing a preconceived bias is dismissing or trying to cover up the fact a bias exists. An example of this,

"I don't think people should compare Kazui's case to any of the other prisoners actually because those to me are different things."

Active readers and listeners rightfully should interrogate this statement by asking and trying to conceive why this case is different.

Not just when it comes to the audience's perception but when it comes to Es as a character who states their personal dislike of those who act on their sexual urges.

Why is Es stating this when it comes to Kazui but not Yuno?

"The result of doing looooots of sugar-daddying: …abortion."

!

"That’s probably my murder. Well, please go ahead and partake of the truth."

…

"How is it? Satisfied? Then, can we be done already?"

Yuno…you….

"You don’t surprise much, do you? As I thought, you knew it from the song extraction."

Well, yes. As one possibility, I thought it was likely. That, going by Milgram’s scope of interpretation for murder, it was possible.

Could it be because,

1.Yuno was doing what she did not just for sexual gratification but monetary gain as well?

Despite Yuno stating-

Trial 1 Voice Drama

"For example, news outlets. They always make a big fuss about adultery, inappropriate comments, immodesty and so on, right? then they start criticizing the people who make an appearance there. Don't you think it's so ridiculous? There's no end to how much other people punish one another outside of the law."

Umbilical

"Just the two of us I finally found it. The lies are endless."

Trial 2 Voice Drama

"Hm…well then, should I tell you what I heard the voices saying in my head? “Because she’s pitiable.” “There’s no mistake that she has some kind of reason.” “She might have become like this because she had some kind of hardship in her past.” “She’s become like this because there’s some problem in her home life—because she doesn’t know love yet!” “Because of that…I’ll forgive her.”."

It’s true that I arrived at those kinds of analogical reasonings.

"Ah, yes yes. Well, this is going to be purely—purely—personal opinion but…I find those kinds of assumptions preachy and unpleasant! They’re worthless! Arbitrarily deciding that I’m pitiable. Arbitrarily making up a backstory for me. Creating a personally idealized version of me. Creating an acceptable version of me. They really exist, you know, those kinds of people. And in particular, those kinds of people…won’t do anything for me."

Yuno….

"I’m not pitiable. My family gets along super well. And I’m not particularly struggling for money. I decided, of my own free will, to do it because I felt that it was necessary for me."

So, reason one doesn't make sense. Because any active listener would have heard what Yuno was saying taken the message in then gone, I hear you our assumptions were wrong and have caused clear emotional harm to the point of upset. Instead, Yuno's views and statements on her own life were completely ignored in favor of going well she was just reckless or it's her body and choice she has the right to get an abortion. Once more highlighting one acceptable aspect of Yuno and running with it.

2.Is it because Yuno is younger than Kazui making her behavior easier to interpret as general carelessness regardless of what she says on the subject.

"The wanted wanting the wanter. The overlap, isn’t that some sort of perfection? “Poor naive little girl”? So, off the mark, what’s it to you? It’s just absurd. Like really, who do you think you are?"

"I’m the one who chose, let you and you and you all in."

"Hooked up till the morning to this sweet “Umbilical Cable”. Let’s just do it, please smile?"

Hypothetically Yuno's age could easily play into how seriously people take her words on her own experiences. It's easy to simply state she's still young, mistakes happen, and if it's just abortion then that's nothing to punish someone who was only eighteen when they were brought here for. In fact, one could go even further and assert that they think it's bad Milgram is working on the assumption the audience put forward and even alluding to the fact that she could be in here for abortion that's kind of small minded and says a lot about the writer's views.

Yet, again, active reading and listening would inform anyone this is not the case from the beginning Milgram said,

"If you forgive this sin you’re as good as an accomplice." - "If you say INNOCENT, you’re complicit and weak."

We learn in trial two that the prisoners can hear what we are saying about them. Meaning any defense of a character's actions created by fans can be heard and used by the cast to make themselves look more innocent.

The audience has been discussed or directly spoken to by characters many times over the course of trial two. Something that's been ignored simply because confirmation bias is something that can blind people from the truth of the matter or be used to manipulate others or circumstances. Simply put, the best way to get someone to agree with you is by telling them what they already want to hear or showing them what they already want to see.

This is why in I Love You Mahiru's boyfriend's body is put front and center from the start and despite how Yuno expressed the information she had an abortion it was easily accepted as fact. So, Yuno being young could very well play into how she was treated in comparison to Kazui even though she expressly admits to acting on sexual urges as well as romantic ones.

"I feel the emptiness inside me. We agreed to seek each other, I wish we could do something about it. Future." - "My cord’s being pulled but nothing’s ever enough. Contractual desires, oh what to do. FUTURE."

3.She's a girl.

Yuno not only being young but a girl makes it likely for people of all genders to not take her statements on her situation seriously or at face value. No matter how she delivers the information coldly or warmly it's just more likely to be looked over. For as much as people talk about believing women everyone is rather unlikely to do it when a woman is telling them something they don't want to hear.

Yuno brings this concept to the forefront in her first trial interrogation expressly talking about how these types of people don't do anything for her.

"That’s right- You know those sorts of people who just want to convince themselves; so, they stick their nose into the affairs of others knowing it’s not their place? I despise those sorts of people the most. They’re only getting involved to make themselves feel better, right? In the end they never actually accomplish anything."

Yuno…

“No matter how many chilling memories I had to endure, those people never gave me any warmth. He-he I ended up going off topic there! Um, what did I wanna say again?”

On top of reiterating it in her second,

"Arbitrarily deciding that I’m pitiable. Arbitrarily making up a backstory for me. Creating a personally idealized version of me. Creating an acceptable version of me. They really exist, you know, those kinds of people. And in particular, those kinds of people…won’t do anything for me."

Something that has caused her continual upset to the point where she seemingly projects her personal feelings and issues onto someone who appears to be or who she thinks should be more troubled than she is.

Amane: What is it… Kashiki Yuno. Don't go out of your way to sit close to me. Go away.

Yuno: It's a shame you've started feeling that way. But Mahiru's finally fallen asleep. Have a chat with me while I have a break. Oh hey, on the subject, Amane do you think it would be better to have not been born? I'm lucky I can still sort of have a good time, but it seems you're more troubled. I wonder, what do you think?

Amane: I don't think so. To be born into this world is the first miracle and should be rejoiced. No matter how much suffering comes afterwards it won't lose it's value.

Yuno: Hmm, well, happy birthday, I'm not sure how to put it, but I'm glad you were born safely.

So, that's a bit of what being an active reader and listener can tell a person. So, how would that apply to Half. Well let's go back to the lyric from the beginning.

"The curse of reuniting with you puts a dagger in my heart. I imagined that you saying, "See you" is the same as "It's over”. Only if your heart would change but that’s not possible. Please, tell me what I should do, my heart will float away and disappear."

the line the curse of reuniting tells us that Kazui has reunited with someone. So, there's someone he hasn't seen in a while that just reentered his life. However, their reunion is causing him nothing but turmoil as it's described as putting a dagger in his heart. So, they may not have left off on the best of terms from his perspective or there are things he regrets about the relationship.

This is expanded on further through the lyric "I imagined that you saying, "See you" is the same as "It's over"." implying the unsteadiness of this relationship. Kazui internalizing that this person saying see you a term that usually means you will see each other again at a later time as a "It's over" something that one usually says when they don't plan to meet with another person again.

This uncertainty around the term probably being related to how often this individual comes in and disappears from his life. Something also alluded to by the lyric, "My heart will float away and disappear."

These are all things that would not be a concern if he was in a committed relationship with the person being referred to. Someone we're shown him being around on the daily basis throughout Half and cat. These lines are also sung far before we ever see his wife take the stage. Alluding to the idea that the relationhsip being discussed predates the one he is in now.

This is something supported by the number cards in Cat as well.

Something that highlights the order in which events took place. The first one being him realizing the futility but not being able to stop dreaming, the second him acting on that dream and after that crushing his love and lying until it gets better. All showcases that he confessed to someone else before his wife and was attempting to move on after how that worked out.

Being a rebound to some won't make it any better but people move on from relationships in their own ways and that's far cry from just lying to someone straight up about liking them. Again something that from the beginning is implied to have not been the case through the lyrics of Half.

"If I were to make sure and suffer, I would rather be by your side. Laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is? Where did I go wrong, probably from the beginning."

A line again said before we ever even see his wife on screen. He is however wearing his ring during the bar scenes. So, he's married at the time those took place. Hell if he's even actually married again this isn't information Kazui just admits in his voice drama Es states he is and Kazui just agrees to the statement.

In a voice drama where we were expressly told several times throughout the beginning of Milgram prisoners can lie in. Where he also says this-

"Would you stop just punching me in the face without hesitation? … Anyways… that’s how it is, huh? That’s how it is…?"

Hah?

"I didn’t even consider this a possibility… Personal impressions sure can be scary."

Then says this,

"Hahaha! But you know what? You’re wrong."

…? What are you talking about?

"You’re wrong."

…

"You said I was unfaithful – in other words, that I cheated or committed adultery of some kind."

Yeah. That’s what I deduced from your footage.

"It’s not true. It didn’t even turn into infidelity. It didn’t turn into anything like that. For me… In my case, you see."

All far before the idea of him being a married man comes up. Even when it does Es just asks Kazui to confirm an assumption that they and the audience made-

… You’re married… You’re a married man, aren’t you?

"Hm? Yeah, that’s right. Oh, right, I never told you, did I?"

You’ve taken off your ring.

"… Right… I did take it off, huh. Right…"

Yeah.

"Mh. … I do carry it with me, though. See? – I was forgiven. My feelings were validated. So… maybe that means that I don’t have to do this anymore? Thanks to that, I was feeling better when the second trial started… I really do feel sorry about that. Towards my wife."

During all of Kazui's second interrogation he's waiting patiently to figure out what we know so he can gauge how he should react. Jackalope didn't know how Kazui was reacting because Kazui to his own admission doesn't react to anything before knowing all the facts of a situation.

20/06/23

Futa: Old man, don’t just laze around so carefree like that. Haven’t you thought about how to break out from here? With your physique, you can probably take out the guard and escape, right?

Kazui: Ahh…… Ok, let’s put it this way. You got caught up in a bank robbery, and the culprit has blocked off the police. From a glance, they look pretty weak, and don’t seem to be holding any weapons. Would you try to arrest them yourself?

Futa: ……if it looked like I’d be able to, then I would. You said they’re weak and don’t have any weapons, right? Everyone else in the building’s life is on the line. Those who can fight should fight.

Kazui: Haha, I wouldn’t recommend that. Even if they look weak, they might actually be a lot stronger. They might have an accomplice hiding somewhere. And they might not look like they have a weapon, but could easily be hiding a gun. ……you shouldn’t act until you have absolute confidence in your assessment. So, for now I’m going to sit back and assess the situation. And on that note, I’m off for a smoke~

So, until he confirmed these beliefs for himself why would he show his feelings about them? This is something that's been consistently shown about Kazui from the beginning. That will be the only hint you're getting from me at what I think is actually going on here.

Back on track-

Throughout Half we are given lyrics that allude to Kazui not knowing his true feelings as well.

"I could try you, and also try to touch you but you probably won’t notice. I understand that this love is out of bounds, so nothing has to change. All these memories and you only if I could erase them. All this time till now has hurt me, the scales of my heart has decided to sway. If continuing to hide is called unhappiness, not even one word will get to you."

I could try emphasizing his urge to test this tenuous relationship he has but the futility of doing so because the other person won't notice. They'll probably laugh it off as a joke and the relationship would stay the same as it's always been.

"Er, so…… could you listen to what I say without laughing? I……"

Something that Kazui has been complicit in understanding that this love is out of bounds so nothing really has to change but still wishing to erase not only these memories but this person from his life. Because this back and forth, this misleading distance between him and this person, all of it for all this time, has hurt him.

However, if continuing to hide is only called unhappiness for himself then maybe it's fine to keep lying or better for no one else to ever know.

Trial 2 Voice Drama

"That’s ridiculous. If you can save someone by telling a lie, that’s what you should do."

Later in

"I’ve confided in others. I’ve tried to be myself! I’ve tried to just be the way I was born!"

…Hey, Kazui–

"It’s not my lies that killed her. She’s dead because I stopped lying to her! If I had just kept lying- She wouldn’t have died…!"

If the truth is what will end up hurting those who are already happy then is telling it really the most important thing to do in that moment.

Is it more forgivable to tell a truth that gets other killed or to keep lying to avoid unnecessary losses is the question Kazui's second trial interrogation posits throughout its entirety. If Kazui is being voted guilty for simply lying then everyone within Milgram now and throughout society are guilty of that sin.

Lying is wrong and one can hate the contents or circumstances around a lie but lying isn't up there with murder to me personally. Especially if once, he discovered he was lying not only to others but himself as well he decided to be honest about it instead of continuing to lie.

Something implied throughout both Half and Cat,

"So many things I wish I hadn't known, I'm just a coward. What I gave up a long time ago, why is it questioning me now? So many things that I should now have known, I'm just a coward."

Kazui states that there's something he wishes he hadn't known something that implies he's discovered it. Before questioning why something he gave up long ago is back questioning him again. Ultimately stating there were so many things he should have known something that "implies" a term I am using very loosely here because it'd be more accurate to say admits there was something he didn't know up until this point.

Something that is continually stated or "implied" over the course of both Half and Cat,

Lyrics that call back to each other across Cat and Half

Cat

"Since when have I ignored my feelings? It’s better to be a let down, than to be let down yourself."

Half

"If I were to make sure and suffer, I would rather be by your side. Laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is? Where did I go wrong, probably from the beginning."

Cat

"Love (plus) Destiny = Crap, smash it, shatter it, bye-bye."

Half

"Please tell me what I should do, my heart will float away and disappear."

"I imagined that you saying, "See you" is the same as "It's over”. Only if your heart would change but that’s not possible."

Cat

"I just wanted to touch, to caress. I just wanted to be touched."

Half

"I could try you, and also try to touch you but you probably won’t notice."

Cat

"Loving Affection (minus) Love, it’s tacky, this two-way deceit."

Half

"Please tell me what I should do, feelings shrouded in lies will float away and disappear."

All this to me gives off the impression that he was not intentionally being dishonest from the start but instead burying his feelings deep down in a haphazard and careless attempt to move on from troubling emotions. Something I can admit is still bad, but many people have gotten into rebound relationships, and honestly, using he lied as a basis for a guilty verdict in Milgram is just funny logic to me. Because everyone in this prison is a liar and has lied, so I'm really curious to hear how this lie is worse than these.

Mu stating that her crime was self-defense despite the position of the body in It's Not My Fault and how she attacked the party in After Pain both alluding to it not being that.

Futa claiming at the beginning of Milgram during his first written interrogation that he didn't kill anyone and then blatantly admitting he did in his second trial written interrogation.

Mahiru pretending to be stupider than she is based on hard evidence collected over the course of This Is How To Be In Love With You. Along with her own admissions in her second trial written interrogation,

Like I could go on and on about the lies told by every character here even Kazui's. They truly are as Yuno puts it endless. The difference is no other character has been voted Guilty on the basis of lying alone and not the ya know whole murder thing. So, this comes off as disingenuous to me and people really need to stop using the suffering of victims to push forward their own agendas when just saying you dislike the guy is right there and a perfectly reasonable and more preferable option in my opinion.

Because the people doing this aren't using actual logic they're just basing everything off their feelings and cherry-picking information that best fits with that. Something that is again totally fine but like don't pretend to be being reasonable with it or like one is saying something in the interest of the victim or for the benefit of divorcees.

#milgram #kazui mukuhara #mukuhara kazui

[lensman-arms-race]

Something I like in storytelling (under a cut because it's spoilers for episode 70 part 3):

I appreciate a revenge arc in which the revenge is satisfying. I get bored easily by aborted revenge arcs in which the hero says 'No, if I kill you I will be no better than you', or when the revenge happens but the hero feels hollow and dissatisfied. I love it when the hero gets their revenge and feels great!

To be honest, I was slightly worried that Scientist Toilet's death was going to turn into one of the unsatisfactory endings, because when Titan Speaker extinguishes the flames on Scientist's head (from Titan Camera's core attack), it kind of looks as though TSpeaker is petting him! It's as if TSpeaker is saying 'No, you're utterly broken, there's no honour in killing you now' - which I'd like to think is intentional on DFB's part (especially given the dramatic pause before TSpeaker begins their sonic roar attack). Then comes the thumping! The catharsis, the relief; it's palpable and joyful! I felt so elated on TSpeaker's behalf! They worked for this, they deserve this!

#skibidi toilet #skibidi tags: episode 70

[sapphic-lottienat]

my yeps and nopes of heartbreak high s2

note: i watched the entirety of it on a plane so idk !!

!!!! HUGEEE HEARTBREAK HIGH SEASON TWO SPOILERS !!!!

yep: spider!! and!! missy!! controversial bc i used to hate spider but i rlly enjoyed his development and how they grew together (plus im so in love with missy so anything with her im all for)

nope: okay i have NOTHING against abortions at all okay but i just feel like it was placed rlly randomly into the storyline and like it was sorta brushed over really quickly

yep: harper being cool!! again i did not like her in season one but i think shes pretty cool now (especially when she defended amerie with the whole rowan thing at the end)

nope: quinni sorta... being brushed over a bit? like i know thats LITERALLY the whole point but i mean this from a viewer perspective, not a storytelling one. i wanted her to get a girlfriend or to have something that would be cute and nice and YES it was so amazing and important that they talked about everything quinni went through but like still :(

yep: ant!! i just think hes a cutie

nope: rowan HE IS A WEIRDO AND I DIDNT LIKE HIM FROM THE START

yep: jett being a ghost/figment of rowan's imagination??? DID NOT SEE THAT ONE COMING AT ALL

#heartbreak high