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nn-ee-zz · 2 days

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I don’t really have a lot to ask I just want to say I love your art style! It kind of reminds me of like Eldritch Horror meets Celestial Divinity type of thing so with that said I was wondering on how you came to this type of art style you do and how long did it take you to experiment until you found the style that you wanted? Sorry if that sounds kinda confusing 😅 thanks for taking the time to read this and have a good rest of your day!

Thank you! I did not found my artstyle, my artstyle found me. Here is a timeline of my digital art/illustration journey

2014 - The beginning

I finally took my tablet and bit the bullet that was digital art. I remember specifically forcing myself to draw (because it was not fun) because I wanted to learn digital art no matter what it took.

2016 - Experimental

Boldness seems to have dominated this phase, not because of the themes but because I rendered without any under sketch (example above of how the first draft looked like vs the end)

2017 - The breakthrough

It was only from here that digital art began feeling RIGHT. The most important things I've learned were how to render texture variation (especially softer things like hair and fur) and how to color a drawing from greyscale. I was slowly settling onto my desired artstyle

2019 - Happy accident

We were tasked to design characters based on chess pieces during college. 1 week deadline. With the mindset that no one will see my designs except my teacher and I, I did things boldly and rendered them (trad ink plus digital shading) to emphasize shape and design, rather than texture variation.

I began mixing traditional lineart with digital rendering.

2020 - Fallen from heaven

My friend and I decided to attempt to design angels based on widely popular tumblr emoji mashups. It was the first time I colored one of my character design drawings, using similar methods to the ones I've learned in 2017.

2017 - 2024

I cannot name nor describe my artstyle nowadays. I haven't seen many people with something similar either. I use what I've learned in all my phases; the spontaneous boldness of 2016, the texture variation of 2017, the sharp shapes and design mindset of 2019, the mix of traditional and digital from 2020. It all melted together and keeps evolving.

The way I approached art changed too. I was so worried about making things beautiful and technically outstanding when today I only worry about making things interesting and readable.

#art ask #long post #digital art #art timeline #art progress

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ask-caine · 2 days

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ok ok what’s yours and moons love story. Beginning to end

OOC POST

It's a bit of a crazy story, actually!

We originally met online through TADC, when she messaged all the Caine accounts she could find for a shitpost "wedding" thing. We ended up hitting it off and talking about random things for a while. It started with my random fact about Kentucky marriage laws and how a couple used them to get married by cocaine bear (hence the below picture)

We ended up learning about a shared interest in plague doctors, as well as discussing several very random topics. Anyways, she invited all the Caines to a discord server, and I ended up being the only one who actually showed up. We would end up talking for hours upon hours day after day there. It was genuinely shocking how much we had in common.

At this point, I had been kinda been picking up on some of the flirtatious undertones behind some of the things she was saying, but I wasn't 100% sure about it yet and was still kinda testing the waters. I'd heard the term love at first sight, and looking back on it, that's pretty much what it felt like. I had been developing a crush on her up to this point, and I kept thinking about her as I was getting ready for bed. I had to keep stopping myself from falling head over heels, reminding myself we barely even knew each other and telling myself "no, she's just being nice. Don't be weird, there's nothing behind this, she's just being friendly."

...As it turned out, she wanted to be a little more than friends... Given my feelings up to this point, I was a little overwhelmed when she told me. I had to take a minute to collect my thoughts, to process everything (hence her jokes about me pulling a Caine and running away). But I liked her, too, and was willing to try a long-distance relationship. So, that's what we did.

It was only a few days after we first got together officially that I told her I loved her. It just felt right. Apparently I caught both of us off-guard with it, since she was sure that she'd be the one who would've said it first. ...We both dived in a little too headfirst from there. From my side of things, it was just so exciting and exhilerating to have this feeling I'd been searching for all my life, and I wanted more of it. We took a step back and both agreed to try and take things at a more reasonable pace from here on out.

We ended up learning a lot about each other. It was like we were the same person, split apart and put in two entirely different situations but turning out the same way anyway. ...This similarity became concerning when we realized we both had the same last name, as well as the fact that we both had Scottish ancestry. But, one family search check later, we confirmed that we are not, in fact, related. Just another insane coincidence that further proves that we were made for each other...

We shared a lot with each other. Our interests, hobbies, ideals, feelings on various topics. Our experiences throughout life, good and bad. The darkest parts of us. Every day, we grew closer. There was no denying that there was something special between us.

That isn't to say everything was perfect. We both still had a lot to learn about ourselves and about each other. There were ups and downs. Things were far from easy. There was a lot of avoidable pain both ways. As time went on, we started to become a little more distant...

Eventually, the stress of life and school and worries and everything going on got to be too much, and she called for us to take a break from the relationship. This hurt, of course... But, taking a break and being done are very different things. I was okay with taking a break, since we would still hang out and such sometimes, just not as romantically.

But, that still wasn't enough. Everything continued to be really stressful, and she felt like she wasn't a net positive in my life and was dragging me down (though the truth was exactly the opposite). So, she decided to fully end the relationship. Which... Really hurt me. Badly.

I kind of fell into a depressive state for a while. I had opened myself up like never before, let myself be more vulnerable than at any point in my life. I had finally found love, the one thing I'd truly wanted all my life, the only thing I've ever needed, and then it was just taken right away. The one thing I feared more than anything else in the world had come to pass.

We would still talk occasionally, but not like before. I already hurt so much, and just talking with her without being able to say the love I still felt was torture for me. So, I distanced myself a bit. I dealt with things on my own. I learned a lot about myself as I came to terms with how things had ended up.

Eventually, I started to feel a little more okay. I knew I could never stop loving her, so I decided to try and turn that love from romantic to platonic and still try to be a friend. Because while I may have lost her, she didn't want me out of her life completely. I could make do as just friends.

But, when I started to come back and we started to talk more again, she realized how much she had been missing me while we were apart. She figured out that some of the things she'd been feeling had been more than she'd realized. She learned that she actually was happier when we were together, and that she still really enjoyed being with me.

So, she began to give little hints again, like before. And, again, I picked up on them, but I didn't want to believe them 100% because of how much I'd been hurt last time. I told myself that she was just showing platonic love, the same way I was. Things would never be the same again. They couldn't be. If I was good for her before, she wouldn't have left...

It was actually Randy who got us actually talking again, first on our blogs, and then regarding what we were being sent. This eventually led to us talking just in general, about all sorts of things... Including what had happened between us. It was emotional, but we both came out of it feeling better about things.

That said, it took until this post before I realized she still loved me and that it was okay to love her back, the way I'd been holding in all this time. We had a heartfelt reunion, though we weren't officially dating again just yet. It still took me a while after that to fully accept everything and let down my guard again, after how much I was still hurting from last time...

But I didn't like the feeling of keeping her away. Of having a barrier between us. I desperately craved that deep, personal connection of love with her again. So, I opened my heart up again. And I'm so incredibly grateful that I did.

Soon after that point, Randy showed up and all those shenanigans ensued. But they only managed to get us talking more about things and uniting against it, which actually brought us even closer together. So, I guess if one good thing's come out of that dumpster fire of stress and stupidity, it's that.

Things have been absolutely wonderful since we got back together. We both learned a lot about ourselves in our time apart, and things have been much better between us. The rocky, uncertain road from before the break had smoothed over. And we fell so much deeper in love the second time.

Add in the stress of the past several weeks, with all the Tumblr drama with these blogs and the hiatus and everything (which I'm not getting into because you can see all that for yourself by looking through our blogs), and you're caught up to the present day. Life is still very stressful for us both, but a lot less so than when we first got together. We understand ourselves and each other so much better, which helps us make less mistakes and treat each other more tenderly and personally in the ways that we need most.

As for the future, immediately after finishing school, I plan to find work and save up to visit her in Canada sometime in the summer. After that is a little hazy at the moment, but we'll figure out our lives and put together a plan to find stable jobs and create a good life for ourselves up there.

And that's it, that's our story. From when we met all the way to the present day. You said beginning to end, but I'm afraid there is no end to our love. The story's still being written. Our lives are still being lived. I hope to be able to add to this years into the future, when we're living together and when we start our own family. But it might still take a while to reach that point.

#pdw x shy #ooc post #love story #lore dump #tadc ask blog #tadc bluetooth #bluetooth tadc #caine tadc #tadc caine #moon x caine #caine x moon #caine x the moon #the moon x caine #idk how to tag this #i hope this is good

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maxiglow · 1 day

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listen to your heart! journaling ideas

emotional check-in: write about your current feelings. no judgment, no editing, no need to be aesthetically pleasing, just let your heart be free so you can understand what’s truly going on.

core values: list your core values and how they align with your decisions and choices you make. are you staying true to these values?

dreams and ambitions: be specific and detailed about what you desire, no matter how big or small. consider why you have these dreams, how important they are and how they make you feel.

barriers: journal about the barriers you find that are stopping you from following your heart. can they be owned or outlined? are they impossible to move? what can you do to achieve something similar?

heart healing: think about the time when your heart was broken (not only romantically). write about the experience and how you healed or about your ongoing healing. what lessons did you learn from that?

letters from the heart: write a letter to yourself or someone else about what you’ve been holding back. will you write about love, forgiveness, angriness or some truth?

heart vs head: explore a decision where your heart and head were in conflict. how did you solve the problem? were you satisfied?

gratitude: list things that you’re deeply grateful for. focus how each one touches your heart and the emotions you feel towards them.

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foxholecore · 7 hours

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There are people bothered by the lack of plot in TSC. And I’ll be honest, I don’t get it. This is Jean’s story now. And he has different needs and priorities than Neil did.

I remember I was probably somewhere around the 60% mark of TSC when I realized there wasn’t a major overarching plot like in many books. And I wasn't even mad. Like I love the original trilogy but something I always miss in books with so much going on, we miss out on so much of getting to see the characters exist and just be. So with TSC, that’s what I was enjoying the most. Watching Jean learn to exist and eventually heal in this new environment. Have new experiences and live. That’s his whole story thus far, healing and learning this new life.

In TFC, Neil barely had anything but stolen moments to try to cope and deal because there was always another crisis around the corner for him to deal with next. With Jean, most of the worst had already happened by the time we got to his story.

There are moments where Jean’s retriggered and small obstacles that set him back, but it's nothing compared to every major obstacle Neil had to deal with. And I'm more than happy about it because Jean needs a break. He deserves it. Jean still has some of that fight in him, but it's buried between so much of his conditioning from Edgar Allan, that he could not keep pushing through each next major thing the way Neil could.

All Neil knew was how to fight and survive. All Jean knows how to do is submit and endure. He would not have survived a story similar to Neil's.

#aftg #all for the game #the sunshine court #tsc #jean moreau #neil josten

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auteurdefeu · 2 days

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So I feel like it’s almost collectively agreed upon that Fabian is not straight. I’ve seen a lot of people talk about him probably not being cis either, I’m personally on board with he/they Fabian.

Now allow me to present my headcanon:

Fabian being on the asexual spectrum. Not as sex-repulsed as Riz, probably more neutral to it, but still. I’ve brought this up before but this time I’m doing it outside of the context of specific ships.

I can’t find the specific instance so someone please tell me if this didn’t actually happen, but. I could’ve sworn there was a time someone (probably Kristen) was talking about having sex, a comment was made about how Fabian could learn from that, and he insisted that he already knew how to kiss. Which, buddy… completely different thing. But it is always “getting his kisses in”, when it’s shown that the Bad Kids/Intrepid Heroes don’t usually censor themselves when it comes to that.

He’s been very awkward when it comes to any actual advances, as seen especially with Mazey this year. To be fair, that is a pretty normal thing for teenagers but for someone with his confidence, he seems skittish when it comes to proper relationships. In my experience as someone aroace-spec, I love romance and take no problem with the idea of sex in the abstract, but as soon as any of it feels personal or directed toward me, it leads to a similar kind of panic/discomfort, unsure how to engage.

My personal take on it, overall, was Fabian trying to live up to his father’s legacy. Bill got around, and Fabian spoke proudly of it in Freshman Year (only to later have to deal with the fact he apparently had a lot of half siblings that have since been eaten by Captain James… oops). Given everything else in his arc, it would make sense that he sees it as an expectation to follow in Bill’s footsteps, because that’s how to seem ‘cool’ and ‘fit in’. It seems more like something he has to do than something he actively wants.

I know he and Aelwyn apparently canonically had sex. if Siobhan hadn’t leaned into it and acted like Adaine was an unfortunate witness, I’d say it wasn’t above Fabian to beg Aelwyn to lie for him to make him seem cooler. But I digress. It’s all headcanons anyway, and asexual people can still have and enjoy sex. Just senseless rambling over here 🫡

#I think he should have a cuddle buddy #he desperately needs a hug honestly #fabian seacaster #fabian aramais seacaster #fantasy high #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high junior year #asexual #the bad kids #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fantasy high sophomore year #fhsy #fhjy

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huihui29 · 3 days

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Declaración

member — junhui x f reader

Genre — Fluff

synopsis: "I confess my feelings to my best friend without knowing that he also has feelings for me."

Warning: None

a/n: "This is my first time doing this, so I hope you enjoy it."

I had been planning this moment for a long time. It took me a lot of courage to do it, but it was time to let everything out that I had been storing inside. Junhui was sitting on the bed in front of me, waiting with an expectant smile.

"Hey, there's something I need to tell you from a long time ago…"

I blushed and tried to find the right words. My heart was pounding a thousand, and for a moment I thought I would have a heart attack. In the end, I took a deep breath and started to speak.

"I know this might be a difficult thing to hear, and it might not be something you want to hear, but I need to tell you: I have feelings for you."

Even though I knew that this was risking our friendship, I also knew that I couldn't keep hiding my feelings after so long. I needed him to know that I admired him more than he knew.

So I kept talking, hoping that my words would ease his doubts and fears.

"I know this might be an awkward moment for you, but I want you to know that my feelings are true and that I don't want to lose you from my life. I'm happy to have you as my best friend, but I also want you to know that I'm willing to put my whole heart and life into this, if you're willing to do the same with me.

Junhui was listening attentively, and although he was visibly moved, he didn't seem to be as uncomfortable as I thought he would be.

"Are you sure you don't want us to stay as friends?"

His question surprised me, but I answered without hesitation.

"Absolutely sure. My heart only wants to be with you, and if that means I'm happy, then I'm willing to take the risk. And if it doesn't work out, I'll be here for you as your best friend. But I believe we could be something more if we give ourselves the chance."

Junhui smiled softly, and I felt my heart beating with force.

"Then we can leave behind everything that's been holding us back, and give ourselves a chance," Junhui continued, with a big smile on his face.

I embraced him, unable to believe what was happening. After so long of hiding, we were finally together. And although I knew there was still much to learn and experience together, I also knew that we had a lot in common. We had our goals and aspirations, and we shared many of the same values and beliefs. We were both determined to work hard and make the most of every opportunity that came our way, and we were both committed to being there for each other through thick and thin.

As we lay in bed, holding each other tight, we started talking about our dreams and aspirations. We talked about our respective families and where we came from, and we discussed what we wanted to achieve in our professional and personal lives. We discovered that we both saw the world in a similar way, and that we shared many of the same ambitions.

As the conversation progressed, we found that we had a lot more in common than we initially thought. We both appreciated art and music, and we both loved to travel. We both enjoyed trying new things and exploring different cultures, and we both had a passion for learning and growth.

As we talked and grew closer, we started to understand each other on a deeper level. We knew that we could trust each other with our secrets and our fears, and we knew that we could lean on each other when times got tough. We were a team, and we were committed to always having each other's backs, no matter what.

As we laid there, listening to each other's breaths and feeling the warmth of our bodies pressed together, we both knew that this was only the beginning. We had a lifetime of adventures and experiences to look forward to, and we couldn't wait to embark on that journey together.

In that moment, we both understood that our love was stronger than any obstacle or challenge we might face. We knew that as long as we had each other, we could overcome anything that came our way. And we knew that as long as we continued to communicate, to respect each other, and to stay true to our values, we could build a life together that was full of love, happiness, and fulfillment.

In that moment, we could feel our hearts beating as one, and we knew that nothing could ever tear us apart.

#svt smut #seventeen smut #svt imagines #moon junhui #wen junhui #jun x reader #jun x you #wen junhui smut #moon Junhui smut #junhui smut #junhui x reader #junhui x you #jun smut #jun fluff #junhui fluff #seventeen imagines

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polyamzeal · 10 hours

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X-Men '97, Episode 5 - Writing Mature Jealousy

I want to go over episode 5 of X-Men 97, titled Remember Me, because it has a very good portrayal of how to write jealousy well and in a mature way. Now since this a polyamory blog I know everyone is just going to assume I am going to say, “All their problems would be fixed by polyamory.” As tempting as that is I am not going to do that! Well the X-Men comics have recently touched upon actual polyamory representation I don’t think it works for this incarnation in particular but I do think by looking at it through a polyamorous lens we see some very interesting stuff going on that deeply monogamous folk might miss. So I want to take this opportunity as a lesson we can all learn from about how to write portray jealousy as a more nuaniced and interesting complex emotion rather than a one-note toxic trope we often see it reduced to. Obviously spoilers below the cut.

So going to assume you have seen episodes 1-4 up until this point so not going to spend long on setups but quick setup. Rouge and Gambit have have had an unofficial relationship that everybody knows about for some time now. But as Rogue’s old flame Magneto enters the scene she has been tempted by him. Meanwhile, Cyclops just found out that the mother of his child is actually a clone of the woman he loved instead of actually her and doesn’t know when the swap happened. Plus the original and clone share memories to make it even more complicated. Now that the clone, Madelyne Pryor, has left, Cyclops is unsure how to feel about the real Jean Grey.

I thought I would be starting further along in the episode but let’s talk about Gambit’s arrival in Genosha. Right away we get Magneto subtlety exerting superiority over Gambit yet Gambit stays cool and doesn’t show that it bothers him. He makes a comment about two being better than three though to show that he doesn’t like Magneto interfering in his relationship. But the character drama really begins when Nightcrawler talks to Gambit. He urges Gambit to marry Rouge but Gambit replies about how he knows that Rogue wants somebody other than him and he basically says that he doesn’t deserve love. You see, Gambit has done a lot of shady stuff in his past and while he may act cool deep down he feels like Rogue deserves someone better than him. So we have a dichotomy between Gmabit’s brain that approves of Rogue hooking up with another man and his heart who does still want her all to himself as selfish as that is. This internal struggle makes up the entire character arc for Gambit this episode.

But let us move on the first of many big shockers of the episode! Jean Grey kissing Wolverine! As Jean is reminiscing about what to do about Cyclops and how they have been distant, Wolverine tries to give her advice as a friend. But he also slips up and lets out some of his own romantic feelings for her. Unexpectedly she returns them with a kiss! I get the vibe that a lot of fans might have cheered in celebration, “Wolverine is going to get the girl like he should unlike that jerk, Cyclops!” But as Wolverine just reminded us, he is far more mature than that. In an act of true selflessness, he instead forgives her for her cheating and tells her to instead go patch things up with Cyclops. He made it clear that he loves her but also he has been down this road before and knows that he isn’t the best man for her and if he really cares about her then she needs to be with the right man for her, Cyclops. This is actually very similar to the dichotomy Gambit suffers but with a 100 more years of experience and maturity, he commits to his brain over his heart and without the same hesitation.

We get a quick cut back to Rogue and Magneto who gives this great line, “As with Gambit, loving you makes broken men whole." But let us have them on pause for just a little bit longer.

Instead let us focus on Cyclops having a touching intimate moment with who we think is Jean but instead it is the clone, Madelyne, having a psychic affair with him from half-way across the world. Not related to the topic of this article but a nice little extra detail is that Emma Frost, another telepath, totally 'saw' everything that Madelyne was doing. But back to the affair, Jean interrupts them and a drama-bomb explodes! Cyclops admits that he loves both Jean Grey and Madelyne Pryor but again I am not resorting to “non-monogamy is the answer here.” Afterall a psychic-powered clone is involved here, more than just a twin, so not exactly normal real life situration. But it does bring up hard questions of how to choose just one. Again Cyclops’s brain is probably telling him the one he loves is Jean Grey, that seems like the right answer. But his heart loves his son and therefor loves the one who he knows is the actual mother, Madelyne. As such we have the 3rd brain-heart romance dichotomy of the episode except this one has the most uncertainty and confusion involved. On the other side with Jean, we get into the philosophical question of having memories of loving someone versus feeling love for someone. It is deep! The Phoenix urging Jean to travel the cosmos might also seem unrelatable to real-life but I think you can equate it to someone that has a job opportunity to travel and make more money but they would need to leave behind their lover, something lots of people do struggle with.

One last thing I want to address is again I am sure some fans are extra mad at Jean in this scene. She just cheated on Cyclops and now she is mad at Cyclops for cheating on her. This level of hypocrisy might rub me people extra rough. But I want to ask this question, would she have been more or less mad at Cyclops’s cheating if she did not just cheat herself first? I think either has its arguments but I honestly think less. She knows she cheated and messed up so now she is putting in effort to mend and fix that. Just to see that Cyclops is also cheating but not repenting like she did. This anger she is taking out on him for cheating is amplified by her own guilt and shame for having just cheated as well. Maybe even more fueled by being rejected by Wolverine as well. It is spicey but also very realistic.

Back to Rogue and Gambit. How is Gambit going to find about Rogue’s relationship with Magneto? In what way will he discover them in the act and cause drama? Actually, she comes right out and confesses to him. I love them avoiding that trope and instead giving us a brutally honest heart-wrenching confession scene instead. And again, Gambit does not react like a 13-year child, instead he calmly asks if she is going to accept it. Explains how he has respected her wishes to not be official but this still hurts. Rogue unloads her heart upon him explaining her unmet needs, the physical incompatibility they have together. And we are given the very realistic question of physical needs versus non-physical needs. Are physical needs a deal-breaker in a relationship? The scene concludes with Gambit being as smooth as always by saying he bets Magneto will break her heart but until then he will respect just being friends with her and givers her permission to pursue Magneto. He maturely wants what is best for her even though it hurts him.

As we transition to the Gala itself we see Rogue living it up in her full splendor! Magneto joins her and they make a big spectacle of the two touching which Gambit sees. This is another scene I have seen some people have very weird takes on Gambit’s emotions here. Many read anger and jealousy as I am sure many in the same shoes would feel. But I see more of the dichotomy at war again. He wants best for her and sees outright that Magneto can give her something he can’t. He even says as much to Madelyn right beforehand. He is happy for her but it still hurts and is just too much hurt for him to handle so he has to step away to protect his own feelings out of respect for Rogue.

By the way, the animation on Rogue is beautiful here! There is so much visual storytelling going on with her feelings that shown more than told. We get the sense that she really wants this and indulges in it to the fullest. But there are still doubts in the back of her mind. Is it all for real or just a performance that she has bought into. She enjoys it and had fun but decides that she actually does want Gambit more.

Rightful so the rest of the episode from this point on does not have much time for romantic drama. What I do really like is we get to see the Gambit-Rogue-Magneto love triangle function under an emergency. A terrorist attack happens and they all put on their work face, because this is the work that they handle. Any romantic squabbles are set aside. Magneto asks Gambit the situation without any of previous boosting over him or even hard feelings that Rogue just admitted to choosing him. And then immediately they form a plan as a team to take care of the threat like they always would. They are professionals. We do get a scene of Rogue trying to save Magneto and Gambit needing to hold her back. Then Magneto protects not just Rogue but both of them as he sacrifices himself. Again understanding that feelings can’t get involved here, they have a duty to protect people.

Some people find the final scene extra tragic because Gambit died thinking Rogue choose Magneto over him. But I don’t think it matters. He would have sacrificed himself to save her regardless of what she choose.

To summarize they are some many scenes in this episode where I expected characters to follow troupes and throw jealousy-fueled temper tantrums. Instead it was one of the most refreshingly mature portrayals of adult jealousy I have seen in any show. No, the answer is not “Polyamory would have fixed all of this.” But instead we get, “Toxic monogamy is not the only way to write a story.” It makes the characters so much more relatable and enjoyable to watch just to see them not drown in toxic monogamy and petty jealousy. I hope more stories can learn from these examples.

#x men 97 #jealousy #non-monogamy #writting #Storytelling

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captain-astors · 7 months

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Creature. (The rendered ones are referenced from manga panels)

#mediocre art #tokyo ghoul #On some level I think I should like Kaneki more than I do but there's this weird sense of detachment #I have not only from him but being able to perceive him as a character?#I don't even dislike him it's just that I can't feel any which way about him at all. He's a catalyst for events #feels more like the conch from Lord of the Flies or something rather than a fictional person.#He doesn't suffer and learn from the consequences #he just suffers and does what got him there again. It's arguable that the lack of punishment denies him the satisfaction #but if that's the case why does he end the story with everything working out perfectly for him?#Why do his friends oblige his flaws and accept his lack of change?#Is the problem my lack of understanding or his lack of good writing?#Is he well written?#Why do I like a certain character from a different anime who's a very similar person with very similar dynamics #but with a goal and acceptance by himself and those around him that his actions really are reprehensible and cannot truly be atoned for #not only more but to the point that he's actually one of my favorites?#Am I just sitting upon a throne of entitlement #because his thought process and experiences are not catered to be applicable to and understood by myself?#GOD IF I KNOW ANYMORE #I'm not pressuring myself to like him or anything I just don't understand anything about kaneki these days and I don't know why

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uncanny-tranny · 5 months

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When I find it hard to do certain things, I like to pretend I am a neanderthal living in a cave with my clan, and I must do The Thing in order to survive.

So, when I'm doing cardio at the gym, I'm actually chasing and tracking a mammoth, and when I need to cook, well, I'm not cooking on a stove top, I am hurdled over the first fire and watching the fat of our kill drip down onto the burning wood. And when I find it hard to crochet, I pretend that the first winter storm is coming and our clan needs me to make blankets to hurdle under and that I must contribute.

I hope whatever you do to do The Things will help. It is a uniquely personable trait to motivate yourself through pretend and stories. That's what makes this life interesting - that's what makes you feel larger than yourself 💛

#mental health #positivity #it helps that i absolutely adore learning things about ancient people too - it's endlessly fascinating #unironically if somebody has textbook/video recommendations about neanderthals/ancient civilization let me know i will froth at the mouth #i like talking about this because it gives other people ideas about how they can motivate themselves #and personally the feeling of being ancient or a part of something old makes me feel that #in addition to the There Are 8 Billion People principle i work on the There Have Been ~117 Billion People Here principle #i find it comforting to think that i don't stand out significantly in a good or bad way because of the sheer NUMBER of people who have live #the human brain is bad at computing those numbers but... just... that's an insurmountable number #there truly are very VERY few experiences truly unique and that's not a bad thing #that just means that you aren't forgotten nor are you alone in anything #i was watching a video about somebody making flax into thread using a paper that was published about ancient textiles #and holy shit i wanted to bite somebody because i was so interested in it and it's just so humanizing to both us but also ancient people #those people probably used very very similar techniques that the video maker did - at first she used a rock to get the fibers #and then she remarked that saliva helped to get to the fiber of the flax and i wonder how many ancient people also did that

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skunkes · 6 months

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might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.

any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc

#(as well as the opposite: Big Event that maybe shocks everyone around em but they genuinely werent shaken by)#though this one is more common and leads to those ''ohh i didnt know that was normal oops'' moments #talkys #inspired by recent me and friend events #and also recent events where i told sum ppl more stuff about Thing and they responded as if it wasnt a big deal. but it was to me.#and also how i thought a part of al's childhood backstory was kind of maybe dumb and not realistically as impactful as id expect #but i saw someone on reddit almost word for word write that as their experience and how its shaped em as a person #and thats it like... the small things are boring and hard to keep track of sometimes #its not like you'll include every single little event your oc was shaped by in their bio #but idk. its like Fun to piece together for fun. to mold a human being #ykwim? wld be silly to tell everyone ''oh my oc struggles with self image due to many instances like... when their sister called em ugly''#or write it anywhere but it is fun to Know and have in your head. and its real !#just like if a friend told you about something that happened to em #long post #delete later #sorry i keep saying stupid obvious shit lately ive always been bad at oc making AND socializing so im learning everything late #but anyway yes. idk even as i keep making ocs that are ''similar'' its like. every person so different #people can react to anything in any way for any reason. i love people #this is why i struggle a bit with keeping ocs to archetypes i guess bc like. what is ooc for an oc. people contain contradictions all the #time. you can change yourself at any time.#ok nobody will read this far so ill go to the real insane rambling #part of this has been a part of my chats with talon while trying to get him to share more info #like. yeah ok you're 400+ years old the things that happened to you were such a comparatively small part of your life #but humans dont live as long and think about small things until they die. i dont think time would heal all wounds actually. not all of em #some thoughts just always come to gnaw at your brain. its ok to not be over things. i feel ill never be over some things #and also complainerism can be fun but thats something else entirely wee hee ^_^

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excelsior9173 · 4 months

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okay finally had a chance to sit down and watch ii’s drumeo interview (edit to add: this was the only thing getting me through the day, i genuinely just kept telling myself “finish this job and you can watch ii”- sad, i know lmao)

that was so cool? i’m fully obsessed with the way he moves when he drums, i go back to his earlier offerings videos of the tpwbyt instrumentals because he’s mesmerizing to watch. so fluid and graceful

i also very much enjoyed the way he spoke. i’m sure part of the cadence was making sure the voice filter didn’t mangle or lose any words, but the longer i watched the more it seemed like he spoke slowly because he was thinking every word through. ii strikes me as a very thoughtful, and (clearly) very well spoken person

i love finding musicians who inspire me to learn new things and god if i had the space/money/arm-leg coordination i would absolutely learn how to drum (unfortunately despite over a decade of dance i struggle to convince my arms and legs to move differently, they have to match or i short circuit😅)

#ramble on exie #sleep token #sleep token ii #i seriously love his drumming i had goosebumps through that whole video #it was very neat to me to hear about the gospel inspiration #i do not enjoy gospel music- it’s usually the vocals idk i find them really unpleasant. but i’d never really thought about the drums before #it’s highly unlikely because ves writes/tracks all other instruments-#but i’d love to see a similar sort of interview with iii and iv. even just a rig rundown #the technical side of music is fascinating to me- i have very limited experience with it so i love to learn where i can

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mountain-lion-gremlin · 3 months

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Genuine question for clinicals who are able to double book-keep (I think that's the right term, please forgive me if it isnt I'm not clinical) have you ever had an experience where your body was shifting but you could feel that it was still physically human? Or did it feel like your body was literally changing into an animal and couldn't at all tell that it was still physically human?

This may be a dumb question but im curious! Let me know please!

(constructive criticism or information is greatly appreciated!)

#im asking because there is a shift rhat I know of called a “pseudo shift”#which imitates (seemingly) a similar experience of those who are clinical #except there's an innate understanding shortly afterwards that the person hasn't physically shifted.#i don't know #curious #clinical nonhuman #clinical zoanthropy #clinical lycanthrope #clinical lycanthropy #clinical ailuranthropy #clinical cynanthropy #I honestly like learning about people who are clinical #im being genuine here btw

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lethal-effect · 1 day

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Never thought I’d be feeling this defensive over Buddy Dawn but here we are

#For the most part people seem sad that he died even if they don’t like him #but I honestly don’t understand why people dislike him so much when he’s literally so similar to a younger version of Kristen #I’ve seen some say he’s had ‘evil’ or bigoted moments but I honestly don’t even know what they’re talking about #I’ve only ever read buddy as a misguided but well intentioned and extremely sheltered kid who’s also probably an unwitting pawn #I’ve only ever felt pity and fondness and hope for buddy that he’ll see the more harmful parts of helioic practice and denounce them #I don’t even care if he stays a cleric of helio as long as he doesn’t agree with their more directly harmful beliefs and practices #and I really hope he still gets the chance to combat all of that whether it’s as a cleric of helio or any other god or no god at all #he was just a kid and he still had so much to learn and experience and now he might never get the chance #all because he was a little too sheltered and a little too naive #I’m not ok you guys #like fuck all the other rat grinders he’s the only one who I want to have a redemption arc #and now he’s fucking dead #😢#buddy dawn #fantasy high

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tame-a-messenger · 7 days

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just read the ask about what the announcement could be and how you said it wouldn't take long to organise SSG.

I work in immersive theatre and events, an undertaking like SSG even within an internal company would be a massive undertaking and could take between 3 months to 6 months to plan properly depending on where it's taking place.

You have to book the site where it's taking place, making sure no one else is around because Smosh are notoriously loud while filming. You have to make sure everyone is available, as a business they need to transport everyone out to the site and if it's far enough away put the cast and crew up in hotels as it's going to be a multi-day shoot and it may be too far for them to get back home. You also have to advertise it well in advance to maximise the excitement and views of SSG. There are also a ton of other details that I have no clue about because I don't work within film/TV/digital content. (Also call me stupid, but I think a sleepaway camp themed SSG would be hilarious)

I'm glad we can talk about this!

I also was taking into account most of the things you mentioned (booking a site that would be unbothersome, the hotels/lodging, everyone being available for at least a week straight(?), and the actual process of getting all the cast and crew to location) and I still believe that is something they could get done, with a lot of hard work.

My biggest worries regarding it (and the biggest reasons I feel they haven't done it already) are making sure everyone gets to go, with most of the cast being freelance and therefore busy.

Another BIG thing is having enough crew to film IRL content. Since most of the crew works with 3 steady-cams and the occasional hand-cam, it is a big undertaking if they tried to film anything as chaotic as SSG Wild West or any of the other Games versions.

I don't think they currently have enough people to film it well. (meaning they would have to hire on more camera operators and everything else) Which I'm imagining is not only a big chunk of change $ but also hiring new people could make for an uncomfortable atmosphere.

As for them advertising it- I haven't seen ONE person that's in the Smosh fanbase not want them to continue doing SSG/SWG. I'm EXREMELY CONFIDENT that if they did some crowd funding they would hit the goal. No question. Which leads me onto the next big thing-

I'm curious if they haven't done it because of legal issues regarding health and safety.

Most of the games they would do involved a lot of potentially harmful 'stunts' that the cast did themselves (obviously), like the mouse trap blindfolded thing they did in SSG Camp, or the mechanical bull riding in Wild West (pretty much every season had some sort of dangerous activity) so I could see them not wanting to have someone get hurt and have legal action taken. (obviously I wouldn't want someone to get hurt regardless, but we're talking about absolutes)

I still think it's possible for them to do it, it would just take someone with gusto to head the whole thing (something Smosh has been missing recently). It makes me really miss some of the old producers.

I think I mentioned that if they were going to do SSG they would have already been planning it for at least a month (so that would be the minimum you said- 3 months) so I'm starting to think because that wasn't what they were teasing today that we aren't going to get SSG but SWG is still on the table?... maybe...?

So biggest things I can see causing trouble-

Not enough crew

Cast having enough freetime for a week(?) of videos

Legal is scary

Not having someone willing to lead the charge (it is a big undertaking)(but not impossible)

If they wanted to they would. But benefit of the doubt says timing is a cold hearted bitch.

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