Inevitable (08) | JJK
Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader (ft. ot6)
Genre/Tags: exes au, parents au, baseball player!JK; angst, fluff, smut (18+)
Series Warnings: foul language, alcohol consumption, minor character death, explicit sexual content
Chapter Warnings: Fingering, making out, breast play, a lot of straddling, oral sex (m & f receiving), protected and unprotected penetrative sex (please be safe!), JK has a mirror kink so some of these happen in front of one; Butter JK (hotter version) bc I’m still thirsting
Chapter Word count: 14.7k
Summary: You convinced Jungkook to break up years ago so he could pursue his lifelong baseball dream. Now he’s back home, staring at you, and the little boy next to you who looks unmistakably like him.
A/N: Final chapter before the Epilogue! I’m incredibly excited for this one. Chapter 7 teased long-haired JK (RIP) so I imagined this Butter JK for the Fundraising Gala (I chose @jung-koook‘s bc Inevitable JK doesn’t actually have purple hair, it’s black) but feel free to imagine him in other ways, too (I’m just not over m’sorry)! This chapter holds more fluff, a dash of angst, and smuuut (lol this was quite self-indulgent, please bear with me) so I hope you enjoy!
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In the succeeding days after your “first date” with Jungkook, you felt like you were running on just caffeine and the sheer amount of willpower. Between the final preparations for the fundraising event, conceptualizing an art fair, and preparing for Jungkook’s birthday, you’ve been feeling all over the place that you can’t even find time to breathe.
Until now. Because you’re with Jungwon in an art store where the little one is busy painting the mug that he’ll gift his father tonight.
You clocked in early today and you’re glad you’ve been afforded a half-day just so you could have time for this, and cook dinner, and bake a cake.
The birthday boy is caught up on a full-day training, as the second half of the regular season is at its peak, and you know he’s been busy, too, so he hasn’t thought much about today. If it wasn’t for your request for him to be home in time for dinner, he would’ve totally forgotten. You prefer that, though, as he’ll probably be surprised when he gets home to find what you and Jungwon have cooked up for him.
You watch your son thoughtfully paint the mug, the word “Papa” being colored in blues and yellows, while the rest are a mix of pink, green, and orange. You’re thankful that Taehyung led you to this place, as you know that the little one would go for something artsy to give Jungkook. Jungwon already made his card yesterday during class, and he’d shown it to you last night with a proud smile on his face.
He finishes his work and you both head to the cooking store a few streets down as you wait for the mug to dry. With the wrapped up gift in one hand and bags of ingredients in another, you head to your car and drive back to the apartment.
You calm yourself down, knowing all the things you have to do. There’s baking your little cake, decorating it, cooking the soup and steak - and pasta for Jungwon, putting up the birthday sign, and instructing the little one to clear his play area so you can set up the blanket fort.
Hours later - and you’re actually thankful for Jungkook arriving a little later than usual - you hear the door open and you immediately yell for him to stop and close his eyes. He follows, his laugh echoing throughout the apartment.
Jungwon runs to him and asks to be carried but proceeds to cover his father’s eyes with his little hands.
“Come, Papa, we have a surprise for you.”
“Hmm, I smell something good. Did you and Mama bake for me, bud?”
“Yes! It’s a chocolate cake!” He squeals.
“Bug, you’re spoiling it,” you tell him as you approach the two, earning you a tiny “oops” from the little one.
You nod at him and he removes his hand, and you stand in front of both men with your cake covered in buttercream topped with sprinkles, hearts, and flowers.
You and Jungwon sing Happy Birthday and you and Jungkook giggle at the enthusiasm of the little one, who seems to be more excited than the actual celebrant.
“Make a wish, Papa!”
“But I already got everything I want here, bud,” he says, kissing his son and smiling at you. It’s a little flirty though, and you steady your heart before your knees give out.
“I’ll make a wish!” Jungwon claims, and proceeds to close his eyes, hands clasped together and then blows out the candles.
“Happy birthday, Papa. I love you so much!”
The joy on Jungkook’s face is unmatched as he hugs the little one tightly, eyes closed, whispering sweet words to his son.
“There’s more though, Kook,” you say, as you motion for him to walk farther and look up, and he sees what you’ve done with the living room.
There’s a banner taped on the television, the words “Happy Birthday, Cookie” painted on it with different confetti and cake stickers that Jungwon had too much fun with. On his play area is another sign that says “Cookie’s Corner,” and below is a little blanket fort that you and the little one arranged earlier.
Held up by some chairs are some light bed sheets that you had stored away, and you found a way to make it tent-like in appearance. On the base is a soft blanket over a quilt, with various-shaped pillows propped against the wall. Jungwon’s stuffed toys and Jungook’s Ironman toys are all over, and a big bowl of sweets sits in the middle.
Jungkook stares at it, mouth open and eyes wide in surprise.
“I couldn’t bring in more supplies so we compensated by bringing in more toys,” you explain, next to him now. “It doesn’t have the lights and all but—“
“___, it’s perfect,” he says, kneeling down to look around. Taped on the inside are some more of Jungwon’s drawings of Jungkook’s favorite things, causing his heart to warm at the effort and thoughtfulness of the designs.
It’s just as spacious as what his own father used to make with him, toys and sweets included, but surely not romantic like the one he used to make with you. The ones you used to make had lights and smaller pillows because, well, you both needed space for what you always ended up doing in those forts, unless you wanted it to tumble down on you, given your tendency to move about during those times.
“Papa, did you see my drawings?” Jungwon says as he follows in. “I made them all at school!”
“Yes, bud. They look so beautiful,” Jungkook responds. “Can you tell me about each one?”
“Okay!” He squeals, and you leave the two to finish up with dinner.
You watch them go through the little one’s artwork, with him sitting on his father’s lap. Laughter escapes the miniature fort, and you can’t help but smile as you prepare for dinner, thinking how it’s been such a blessing to be able to hear such tender sounds. Even with this spacious apartment, everything feels so intimate with your two favorite men. It’s inspiring and makes you feel like this is truly home.
You call out their names not long after, and it takes a few more rounds before they finally exit their fort. Jungkook is surprised at what you’ve made - French onion soup in a bowl of bread, and steak with baked vegetables. You give a disclaimer that you’re not the best at following instructions and it was hard following Jin’s over the phone, as he alternated between scolding you and laughing at you the entire time he was directing you on what to do.
Jungkook likes it just the same, and dinner goes the way dinners with the three of you usually do - full of laughter, with all three of you talking about your day.
You find yourself carefully maneuvering inside the fort with the two men after they insisted on helping you clean up in the kitchen. You secretly hand Jungwon the gift and wait for Jungkook to be settled.
“Happy birthday, Papa!” Jungwon says, handing the box to his father. “I made that for you.”
By now, his surprised face already looks normal to you, as his wide eyes eagerly await what’s inside the box that he’s unwrapping. You spot the tear that strolls down his cheek as he examines the mug, brush strokes and colors meaning so much more to him because his son made them, chose them, for him.
“Do you like it?” The little one asks in his tiny voice, seeing as how his dad has barely moved.
“I love it so much, bud!” He says, wrapping him in his arms, savoring this moment.
Jungwon gives his card, the words I love you and Happy Birthday cutely written on it, with drawings of the things that remind him of his father. The tears fall so abruptly that even Jungkook is surprised, causing the little one to wipe his father’s face with his tiny hands this time and proceeds to kiss his cheek.
“My gift didn’t arrive on time,” you pout at him and he laughs.
“Don’t worry. I’m sure it’ll be worth the wait.”
The rest of the short night proceeds with giggles, eating of sweets, and adoring looks between you and Jungkook. It ends with the two men falling asleep inside, wrapped in blankets and the warmest hugs.
You kiss Jungwon’s forehead then Jungkook’s, but you linger this time.
“I love you, Kook,” you whisper, as a smile forms on your face.
You know he doesn't hear it but it’s okay; it’s enough that you get to say the words that have been ringing in your head for a while. For years, if you’re being honest. On your next date, you decide you’ll let him know all this and more.
The next two days fly by, and you’re grateful for the most amazing set of friends who’d not minded spending their weeknights babysitting even if they were tired themselves. Jungkook had an away game while your last minute work preparations continued, and Jungwon had been enjoying his time with his uncles.
You heard that Jimin and Hoseok were teaching him ballet and hip hop dances, and Yoongi was teaching him how to play the guitar. Jin had said he’ll be teaching Jungwon how to cook black bean noodles the next time, while your brother just chimed in that he’d join the little one when they take their botany degrees in the future. All the while, Taehyung smiled, knowing he’s years ahead when it came to influencing your child’s hobbies.
It’s finally Saturday and you just can’t wait for the day to be over so you could finally enjoy the weekend with your friends as you all celebrate Jungkook’s birthday the next day.
But it’s the day of the fundraising event, and you need all the energy you can get, especially given the surprise press conference that you apparently had to organize, your clients forgetting to tell you that bit that they wanted this “charitable” event to be publicized.
You’re running about at 7AM, which is too early for a weekend, but you need to make sure that your outfit change is all packed and ready to go. Jungkook’s sleepy eyes meet you in the kitchen just as the doorbell rings, and you rush to the door to retrieve just what you needed before you could leave.
“Happy birthday, Kook,” you say, prompting him to turn around. He turns and sees you carrying a rather big black box, red bow on top. He cocks his eyebrow.
“Gift finally arrived?” He asks teasingly.
“Yes,” you smile. “And I need you to open it now.”
He places it on top of the table and gingerly opens the box. He gives himself a moment before he takes the item out, smiles at it, then cradles it in his arms, the way Jungwon did the first time he was gifted with a Bears jersey.
But this one is a little different.
Jungkook’s father was a baseball fan through and through; he used to dress like he was going to a game everyday. He had this vintage-looking baseball jacket that wasn’t that special; it wasn’t even branded nor did it sport any team emblem. It was just a simple blue and red one, which years later Jungkook’s mom sewed the letter “J” on so it would at least look special.
It got lost a long time ago, when Jungkook was younger and his father’s luggage got misplaced and its contents gone missing when they finally retrieved it. He didn’t dwell on it much, just thought some person probably needed it more.
Jungkook loved it though, because it was the jacket his father had worn in most of his games growing up, and in their pictures together. You’d used those pictures as a basis to get one of your contacts to make a replica of that jacket, with the same colors and same “J” insignia on the left shoulder.
“Go on, try it,” you say, putting him out of his daze that’s oddly enough caused by a jacket.
He puts it on, checks himself on the foyer mirror, and hugs you. He doesn’t say anything more than “thank you,” but the way he holds you, the way his hands grip your arms, the way he sniffles while his head on your neck, are enough for you to know what he’s feeling.
He pulls away, glassy eyes mirroring yours.
“Glad you like it. I think it was worth the wait,yeah?” You smile, acknowledging the words he’s unable to say.
“It definitely was,” he grins, eyes lingering on you. He wants to say more but somehow when it comes to you now, words tend to fail him.
Jungkook doesn’t want to get ahead of himself but he can’t help but think that the way you love hasn’t changed much, and he’s filled with so much joy to see all that and more. It’s in the way you love the precious son you both created, and it’s in the way that you love and appreciate the things that matter to him - baseball, his father, the dream that he was able to live out. You remind him everyday of the best parts of him, and he can’t help but love you even more.
He clenches his jaw to hold back his tears and shifts his attention.
“So… My birthday gift to you came early and I can’t wait so I’m gonna give it now,” he says, as he scurries to his room. You whisper-shout at him, stating that he’s being too excited again, but he returns with a medium-sized box and a wide smile.
“My birthday is next month,” you deadpan.
“I know but it’s our second date.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” you say, eyebrows furrowed.
“It’s still a special occasion and it’ll look nice with whatever it is you’re wearing tonight and it’s actually just half of what I plan to give you and…”
He stops at your pouting face.
“It was supposed to be me surprising you and now you have a surprise for me, too,” you whine.
“Baby,” he says, pulling you close. “You surprised me enough the other night. This,” he points to the jacket, “is another level. I just want to give my gift to you because ever since I bought it, I haven’t stopped thinking about how good you’d look wearing it and I was really hoping tonight would be the night.”
“Fine,” you give in, opening the box, a surprised look now on your face, and then it turns soft, warm, and to Jungkook, all kinds of beautiful.
It’s a pair of moon and stars dangling earrings with a matching bracelet. They look so simple and elegant, just like how your necklace is. You touch them gingerly, as if they’ll break, and Jungkook couldn’t stop thinking about this, too, the look on your face when you see them.
You used to tell him it was cheesy, the meaning behind the moon and stars, but he always knew you secretly liked it. It’s taken a deeper meaning now, Jungkook thinks.
“The moon and stars - they don’t go away,” Yoongi had told him once. Just like you. Just like his love for you.
“I’ll wear them tonight,” you state, turning to him.
“Good, I can’t wait,” he responds, as he walks closer to you.
He wraps his arms around you and just as he’s about to pull you closer, your phone rings and your bubble bursts. You’re released from his hold and you pick up with a panicked Sarang on the other end, informing you that they couldn’t locate one of the items and they need you over there now.
“I’m sorry, I have to go,” you pout. “I’ll see you tonight, okay?” You say, then you kiss his cheek and head out the door, leaving a slightly disappointed yet excited Jungkook in your wake.
There’s a different kind of thrill every time you organize events like this. You think of those hours of conceptualization, planning, coordination, and everything in between, all leading to the moment when it finally comes together - clients are happy, the goal is achieved, and that’s another one in the books, and then you go back to start another cycle for another project.
You’re always on your toes, though, because literally anything can go wrong. Like a missing signed memorabilia. Or an unhappy patron. Or an art piece that looks nothing like what you initially saw. Or the equipment suddenly not working. Kind of like now.
You like this job because much as you’re not the most organized person when it comes to your things, you’re pretty damn organized when it comes to your thoughts and your plans. And you always make them happen.
You gather your team, delegate the problem-solving tasks, and make sure they follow through. You work on the other details systematically, ensuring that everyone’s focus is on the big things, and you gather the troops some time later to regroup, all until the kinks have been fixed and you’re ready to open the door.
By the time the first set of guests arrive, you’ve retouched your make-up, done your breathing exercises, and sipped a flute of champagne. Your work doesn’t end, though, as you continue going around to make sure that everything is in order.
You’re in your element and Jungkook watches you from afar as you instruct the servers to pace the drinks because you want the patrons to at least be sober enough when they bid for the items.
He’s seen you like this before, as you headed the student club that organized all kinds of events back in college, hence why he barely saw you at the parties that you’d asked him to model for the promotional materials.
But it’s his first time to see you do this professionally, and you’re still so confident, so assured, and so graceful all the same. He gawks at you looking incredibly stunning, and he can imagine your serious yet beautiful face, judging by the slightly intimidated look of the person you’re speaking to.
“You can go to her, it’s okay. You’re the star of the show anyway,” Sarang says, appearing next to Jungkook.
“I’m not really all that, you know?” He laughs.
“Well, those fancy women don’t seem to think so,” she says, gesturing towards a group of elegantly dressed ladies, whispering to each other and smiling at him, some shyly, some suggestively.
“They’re probably a Bears fan,” he shrugs.
“Yes, everybody is a Bears fan,” she rolls her eyes and pulls on his wrist.
Not wanting to disturb you, he lets Sarang take him to you.
“___, your baby daddy’s looking for you,” she says, prompting you to turn around and find a gorgeous-looking Jungkook in an all-black ensemble - silk polo with the top button undone, a sleek suit with some crystal embellishment, and slacks that hug his thighs just right. A gold necklace completes the look, a go-to accessory of his.
It doesn’t even register that you licked your lips until you hear your friend’s incessant giggling. You’re thankful that your dress is long enough to hide the way your thighs clench at the sight because Jungkook in this look, especially with how much more built he is now, is heart-stoppingly beautiful.
“Shut up with the baby daddy,” you say, playfully smacking her.
“Well, if you don’t do anything, he’s gonna be someone’s baby or daddy, you choose,” Sarang chides. “This place is packed with men and women alike eyeing your man. Better claim what’s yours before someone else does,” she winks then promptly leaves.
“Ugh, don’t mind her,” you say, laughing at the exchange but internally feeling flustered.
“She’s not wrong though,” he cocks an eyebrow, and you lick and bite your lip this time.
You shake your head in disbelief because you’re on the clock, you’re getting paid for this; you can’t be flirting with the item before it gets sold.
“Kook, you’re on the list. Patrons must want to buy you. You have to woo them,” you say sternly, arms crossed now as you try to regain your resolve.
“I know, I know. I just wanted to tell the woman whom I actually want to woo that she looks breathtaking tonight,” he says, as he takes in your form in a black high-halter dress, with accessories that he knew would look good on you.
“The earrings and bracelet have a lot to do with that,” you reply, cheeks heating up at his compliment.
He shakes his head but he smiles, and it’s genuine, you know this, and this sends your heart in a whirlwind because he looks so good and so soft and tender at the same time.
“But thank you, now go,” you say, pushing him away.
He plays his part, like what you told him to do. Some may know him, some may want to talk to him, some may just want to ogle him. Regardless, he needs to charm them enough so they’d want to actually pay for a lunch out with him.
“This is for all the youth community centers that will be built because of you. Do it for the kids!” You’d told him the night before. But he knows this means a lot to you, so even if he’s not the most comfortable with small talk and even if all he really wants is to be with you - you did say this was a work date - he’ll do well for you; anything just to see that triumphant and satisfied smile he knows you’ll have at the end of this.
You watch him socialize with the patrons, certain that they’re being captivated by his beauty by just looking at him. He’s definitely grown more mature in the last few years, and it fits him. He still sports his boyish features and definitely knows how to use his charms, but he looks more polished now, he moves smoothly, and with even more confidence this time.
You go home to this man, and that’s what you constantly remind yourself as you see various people sneakily feel his biceps, eye him up and down, and blatantly or subtly flirt with him.
It’s a familiar face, though, that convinces you to, like what Sarang said, “claim what’s yours” - Chang Sora.
Of course she’d be here. Once the news came out - at least within the social crowd that this event is targeting - that Doosan Bears star hitter Jeon Jungkook would be appearing at the fundraising event as part of an item to be auctioned off, at the back of your mind you already expected that she’d show up.
She was the president of his fan club back in college after all, and she’d been proud of it. She wasn’t too fond of you, for obvious reasons, but she was at least decent enough to not come in between you and Jungkook.
You always thought it was a mix of admiration for his craft and his looks - you did hear she played softball in high school - but she was never really silent when it came to her “deep appreciation and affection” for “the most wonderful human being to grace this planet,” she once wrote on social media as a caption on a photo of her with Jungkook after he’d won the championship.
Yeah, real subtle. But it’s her deep knowledge and appreciation for the sport, which you lacked, that always kept you on edge.
You see Jungkook smirk when you “randomly” walk by him and Sora again, as they engage in conversation because he knows that look. You were never the jealous type but he knows your body language and facial expressions enough to know when you’re a little tense.
“Hey, ___. Do you know what time I can have dinner?” Jungkook calls your attention as you walk past them the third time.
“Oh, uhm. If you’re hungry, I can arrange for it already,” you smile. It’s your only time to be alone with him and you’re really looking forward to it.
“That would be great,” he smiles back.
He turns to Sora. “Is that okay? I feel like I should eat early so I don’t feel too bloated later. It might put people off,” he says.
“Oh, Jungkook. I’m positive people will bid for you regardless,” she responds, and she licks her lips, too. It’s probably a natural reaction, you think. “I mean, I definitely will.”
“Thank you. Doing it for the kids!” He replies, one fist up as if in fighting spirit and you almost gag at how awkward and silly he looks. He wasn’t always too comfortable with Sora’s admiration for him but he’s glad she never took it too far.
“Yes, of course,” she giggles, somehow thinking it’s funny. “Maybe I can get your number? Whether I make the winning bid or not, it would be nice to, you know, maybe catch up?”
“Oh, well, I can give you my number. Just not too sure about my schedule,” Jungkook says, eyes flitting to you who’s just smiling back at him. He gives his number and she smartly calls the number.
Jungkook pulls out his phone and nods when Sora says that “it’s me, so at least you have my number, too.”
She catches a glimpse of his wallpaper, causing her to gasp.
“Oh my god, that’s one adorable kid,” Sora says, blushing at the photo of Jungkook and a laughing Jungwon. You remember that photo. Jungkook was tickling him after he got sad watching Monsters, Inc., and that was all it took for the little one to smile again.
“He is, right? He’s my son. Such a precious little kid, this one,” Jungkook says, a soft smile forming on his face as he thinks of how much he misses Jungwon, given how busy he’s been the past few days.
“You have a son?” She asks, incredulous.
Well, at least she hasn’t been stalking Jungkook on social media. Surely photos of the three of you have been sporadically showing up.
“Well…” He starts, then looks at you as if for approval and you nod. Not out of spite or anything, really, but you don’t see why you have to hide it.
“We do,” he answers, cocking his head towards you.
“Oh…” She responds, face falling a little. “So you’re like… back together?”
“Something like that,” you say, and Jungkook’s wide eyes and gratified smile are enough to make whatever uneasiness you felt earlier melt away.
Your dinner turns out to not be as exclusive as you hoped, but the food is delicious and the company is great. Your boss and another colleague join you, both enthused by your not-so-normal love story. You give vague answers about your current status, although you and Jungkook holding hands under the table is pretty much a giveaway.
It kind of feels like how it was before, though, what with the obvious joy on your faces and the not-so-subtle hiding and tempering of your affection for each other.
And just like then, the feeling is there - palpable and unmistakably strong; verbalizing it is a different thing. Like then, you’re both waiting to show and tell the other all this. You knew then it was worth the wait. You feel the same now.
An older couple ends up making the winning bid for Jungkook. He meets them after and finds out that the man, who’s in his late 60s, was a big fan of Jungkook’s father. The woman thinks he’s handsome but says their grandson will take her place for lunch, as the 12-year old kid is quite the fan of the younger Jeon.
He feels satisfied and happy that he agreed to this, something he tells your team and something that they cheer at. They try to convince you both to stay but they know they won’t win; you have a little one to pick up from Jin’s apartment and even if you know Jungwon will be asleep, you’re just excited to have him in your arms.
You bid your workmates goodbye and head out, tired eyes fighting against sleep because you like this comfortable silence with Jungkook. It had been an exhausting and fulfilling day but even just this moment with him is enough to make you feel relaxed. You will yourself to have the energy though, as you want nothing more than to hold him to end the night.
“That was quite the date, huh?” He says as he takes your hand in his.
“It was. Had to share you with a bunch of people but it was fun,” you reply, turning to him.
“You asked for this!”
“I know,” you laugh. “It was nice having you there, though, it made me feel calm. And good, that you get to see what I do.”
He smiles at this. “You’re good at what you do, babe. It’s quite the turn on.”
You smack his arm. “Can’t even compliment me without flirting?” You tease.
“Fine, fine. You were great, ___. Everybody listens to you and trusts you. That was wonderful to see,” he corrects, earning him a satisfied smile from you and a kiss on his hand.
You pick up Jungwon, who’d fallen asleep on Jin’s couch, his uncle Namjoon having read him a story - the third one, they’d said, because the little one had been looking for his parents all night. You cradle him in your arms and he’s a little cranky because he’s also tired, and you opt to stay in the backseat with him as you massage his back all the way home.
You enter the apartment and Jungkook peppers Jungwon with kisses who, despite that, does not budge, and you’re glad he’s not as cranky as he was earlier. You know, based on your brother’s stories of all the activities he’d done with the guys, that he’s gonna wake up a little needy, as he tends to be when he’d had a previous long day.
Jungkook kisses your forehead right after, almost a resigned smile on his face, knowing how tired you are as well, and he heads to his room to fix up.
Jungwon barely moves even as you maneuver him around, making sure that he’s protected enough by the pillows you surround him with. You kiss him goodnight and head out the room towards Jungkook, an envelope in hand.
You push the half-open door and watch him on the other side of the room from where you stand. He’s in front of his row of closets, the door with the full-body mirror open as he tries to unclasp his necklace.
“Hey, I’ll just leave the token that my boss insisted on giving, alright?” You call out, walking to his bedside table to leave the envelope on top.
“Sure,” he says, eyes still trained on the necklace. “I forgot it was Jimin who put this on for me. I didn’t realize it’s that hard to remove,” he says frustratedly.
“Let me,” you say, and walk towards him, face-to-face now as you move the clasp to his front so you can undo it. It is quite tricky, as it leaves little space for the finger to hold on to the lever.
Your eyes are trained on the necklace, and you try not to be distracted by the amount of skin that’s exposed due to half of Jungkook’s buttons now undone. Even with your supposed concentration, you don’t miss his chiseled and smooth-looking chest, honeyed and sculpted in all the right ways.
Jungkook’s eyes are trained on you, though. He focuses on your closeness to him - your measured breathing, your featherlight touch, the way your eyebrows scrunch as you work on his necklace, and your relieved smile when you finally get it undone.
You give it to him and he places it on the front pocket of his suit that’s hanging on the closet handle, his eyes still not leaving you. You hold his desirous gaze as your eyes trace his face, the look of crumbling self-control evident.
You feel your resolve melting away, too, the build up the entire night reaching its climax, so you turn around and face the mirror.
“Help me with my dress, please?” You say softly, and he takes his place behind you, his eyes boring through you as you see in the mirror.
He takes in your full form, savors this look you have on, savors you still dressed. You stare back at him, breath still steady as he gingerly takes your hair to the side to reveal the buttons high up behind your neck, something he knows you can easily undo.
In the quiet but tense room, you could almost hear each other’s thrumming heart and slowly quickening breaths.
“You kept talking about me getting the attention of the patrons tonight,” he says, voice low. “You think I didn’t notice how their eyes followed you whenever you passed by?” He continues, taking his time on the buttons.
“You noticed that?” You ask.
“I did,” he responds, hands moving to the zipper of your dress now, starting at the top. “I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you tonight, you know?” He continues, as one hand slowly unzips the dress. His fingers graze every inch of skin revealed, causing you to shudder at his touch, even more with his piercing gaze you see on the mirror.
“I know,” you respond, breath hitching as the zipper meets the endline, right where your tailbone is, his fingers ghosting your skin. “Cause I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you, too.”
You feel him take a deep breath and make a heavy exhale, and you take this moment to pull the dress off your shoulders and let it slowly fall on the ground, leaving you in nothing but your black thong.
You stare at each through the mirror, enjoying the tension, the feel of each other like this, until his hand settles on your waist, inching towards your chest, and your body comes alive.
You take his hand and place it on your breast and right as he squeezes, your eyes shut and your head falls back on his chest, enjoying the euphoric feel of him.
“Kook, touch me,” you moan, and it’s all he needs for his other hand to grip your waist and slowly slip inside your underwear, finding your clit immediately, your pussy soaking wet.
“Fuck,” he mutters, as he kisses your shoulders, trailing up until he’s on your neck, gradually licking, sucking, biting, all in tandem with his one hand fondling your breast and his other, rubbing your nub intensely.
“Hmm, you’re so good,” you mewl, as he pecks your ear.
The hand on your chest moves to your chin, and he turns your head to face him, his eyes gazing at your glassy ones. His are so full of hunger, and you feel it when he pulls you close to crash his lips onto yours, the kiss so deep and long, like he just wants to keep you like this and never let go.
But he does so you can get some air, and he nibbles your lip shortly after and slips his tongue in your mouth, and you moan at his taste, so sweet and enticing, something you’ve missed terribly.
It quickly becomes messy and desperate. Your tongues dance around each other and fight for dominance, sucking and biting flesh. Erotic sounds escape you both at the greedy way you’re taking each other, months’ worth of tempered desire and longing finally manifesting in fervid and carnal acts.
His pace on your clit quickens, causing you to buck onto his hand while he thrusts his hips behind you, his hardened length poking your back, adding to your feeling of ecstasy. His whole body moves with you and you feel him moan in your mouth. You gasp for air and your hand grips his hair as you find something to hold onto.
With half-lidded eyes, you both watch your movements in the mirror, rhythm steady now until you feel your orgasm building and your legs start to shake. He feels this, feels your pussy clench on his fingers, and he puts all his effort on rubbing your nub, knowing how much this affects you, especially when you’re right on the edge. He continues his open-mouth kisses on your neck, his fingers alternating between squeezing your breast and flicking your pert nipple.
Your back arches, curses followed by his name reverberating through the room, and he tightens his grip on you and pushes you back to him.
“Hold on for me, baby. I missed you like this, missed you being so sensitive to me,” he hisses.
Your body is on overdrive, as every inch of you screams in pleasure. He continues rubbing himself on you, and he grunts at the feel, adding to the tightness in your stomach. But you both keep going, wanting to prolong this feeling as much as possible.
The bedroom is filled with your moans and his grunts, and you start to unravel.
“Kook, I’m coming,” you call out, slack-jawed and breathless, hip still bucking on his hand, your head rolling back on his chest.
You feel him smirk at this, and he watches your frenzied and desperate movements against him. He licks the outer shell of your ear, your sensitive part.
“Let me hear you,” he whispers, and it’s all you need until you’re shaking, crying out his name, your grip now on his arm tightening.
“Nghhhh—fuck, Kook. Fuck, baby, I—”
He feels your slick ooze out of you, and he promptly spreads it around your cunt that’s aching for him. “Hmm, good girl,” he mumbles, and you swear you could come again with just his gruff voice.
He slows his movement as he holds you up, and softly kisses your shoulder and you want so badly to stay in this but the sharp poking of his dick on your back is making you want something more.
You turn around and pull him into another impassioned kiss, your fingers gripping his luscious locks again as you try to get him closer to you. His hands find your ass, cheeks out for him to caress as he likes.
Your kiss remains hungry, intense, and you try to elevate yourself so you could rub your cunt on his hard member and you feel so, so good.
“Fuck, baby,” he hisses. “Want to feel you so badly.”
Your hands mindlessly undo the remaining buttons of his polo, and you pull away to appreciate Jungkook’s impeccable chest and torso, ridges highlighting how fit and toned he is. Your fingers ghost his nipples and he hisses, his breath hitching as you tease him.
You continue to trace your fingers along the wide expanse of skin, remembering how this used to feel, how it used to shiver under your touch. It’s firmer this time, making you imagine getting off on it, and just the thought is making you moan.
He removes his polo shortly after, and with mouths back on each other, you start to unbuckle his belt, expertly undoing the clasp and unbuttoning his slacks. You push it low enough for him to remove with his feet, as your hand immediately finds his dick that’s throbbing and leaking with precum. You wrap around him, thumb caressing his slit, and you pump him as you eagerly push him back to travel the short distance to the bed where he sits on the edge. And he knows what you’re up to.
You kneel in front of him, and just the thought of what you’re about to do can make Jungkook blow his load on your face right now, as you lick your lips and grunt at the sight of his member twitching in anticipation. You turn back to make sure that the view on the mirror is just right, moving slightly towards him, rear out in a position that he likes. And you smirk.
You know how much he likes this, likes seeing you kneel for him, ass in full display as you take him in. It’s a kink you found out early in your relationship when he realized how much more turned on he gets when he gets to see your every movement. It’s one you often indulged him in because of how erotic it is, how stimulating it is for him to see your bare back move in tandem with your mouth on his dick. You like it, too, how he falls apart with just your mouth.
You give him a few more strokes, eyes glaring back at his blown-out ones, before your tongue darts out and kitten-licks his tip, swirling it around his hardened flesh. You hear him suppress a moan and feel him tighten his hold on the edge of the bed. Your mouth follows, as you slowly and teasingly take him in. Your one hand gently massages his balls, the other caresses his thick and flexed thighs, fingertips grazing against his skin, adding to his pleasure.
“Fuck, baby,” he moans. “Just like that,” he draws out the words.
He watches your head bob up and down then his eyes flit to the mirror to see you on your knees, your skin glistening, hips moving gracefully as you get lost in the moment. His hand moves to your head, caressing it then following your movement, making him feel like he’s controlling your motions.
He thrusts into you and you quicken your pace, causing him to tighten his grip on your hair, and he curses at the intensity of his pleasure, eyes moving from his dick that disappears in your mouth to the view of your ass on the mirror.
“Fuck, yes,” he says hoarsely, turning you on even more.
You feel him twitching, his thigh straining under your touch, and you sink your mouth deeper, taking him further down until you feel his tip hit your throat. You moan at this, eyes closed as you relish in how he feels in your mouth, his girth and length just enough to slightly choke you without making you feel much pain.
He whines your name at the movement, feeling his body unravel this time, and he takes control of the pace, fucking your mouth as his grunts get louder the deeper he goes, the deeper you let him. He feels the coil in his stomach tighten then he snaps, spurts of cum sliding down your throat and you moan at its salty taste, taking it all, while he breathes heavily as he curses once more.
You let him go with a pop, and you kneel in front of him with a soft smile on your face.
How you can go from sucking the life out of him to looking at him so sweetly right after is beyond him, and he giggles as he takes your face towards him and he kisses you, slower this time, but passionate just the same. He guides you to your feet and pulls you to straddle his lap, his arms wrapped around your torso that he caresses, with your arms placed on his shoulders.
“That was so good, baby,” he moans as his tongue now laps around your breast, loving the way your hardened nipple stands out and he sucks, causing your head to roll back again. “You’re so, so good for me.”
You buck into nothing and whine, wanting to feel him inside you now as your craving for him intensifies. It’s been a long time and your body yearns for him, aches to feel all of him.
He picks this up and flips you on your back, smiling at how flustered but excited you look. You’re so beautiful like this, hair forming a halo around you, body splayed out before him, eyes drowning in lust and desire for him.
His hands find the last piece of clothing on you, slowly pulling it down, and with the way his eyes roam your body and as he slowly exposes the rest of it, you feel a wave of uneasiness overcome you.
Your one hand immediately covers your breasts, even if he’d squeezed and sucked them raw just earlier, while the other shields the parts of you that he uncovers, suddenly feeling shy with how different your body now is, child and all.
He takes notice and places his hand over yours.
“Baby,” he starts, caressing you. “What’s wrong?”
“I, just… don’t look the same,” you mumble, ashamed to even feel insecure about this, knowing how Jungkook always said he liked your body whatever way, shape, or form. This is different though.
“I know,” he responds, shifting his position so that he’s hovering over you. “And I don’t mind. Do you?”
“I know I shouldn’t,” you respond, avoiding his gaze.
“You’re right, you shouldn’t. This body took care of our precious son, okay?” He says, finger moving your chin to face you. “And fuck do you look so beautiful even after all that,” he continues, his face serious and you know it’s not some effort to flirt or be playful.
“You’re cheesy,” you giggle, masking whatever insecurity you feel, which you remind yourself is normal.
“I know, but I mean it.” He kisses your forehead, so soft and gentle, then your nose, then your lips. You sigh into the kiss and he deepens it, tongue entangling with yours, exploring deeper into you like he just can’t get enough of you.
You always said how intoxicating kissing him felt, how everything else drowns out when his lips are melding with yours, how nothing else matters but his taste and his movements, the sounds he makes when he kisses you passionately like this.
He knows this. It’s why he takes his time, slow but with much intent, and soon enough, your hands leave your body and find themselves in his hair, pulling and scraping, leaving him a moaning mess just like you. He smiles into the kiss, and so do you, knowing what he’s done.
He finally leaves your mouth, lips trailing down your jaw then your neck, down the valley of your breasts. He stops to gaze at the necklace you’re wearing and looks at you.
“You never removed it.”
“I couldn’t. I didn’t have the heart to,” you whisper.
He smiles and moves further down, not before laving at your breasts again, taking his time in each one. He reaches your stomach that’s rising up and down with how hard you’re breathing. He’s gentler when he reaches your scar, the one from the caesarean from childbirth, his eyes flitting to yours in appreciation, then sadness for what you had to go through alone.
He makes it to your cunt, your arousal filling his senses and drowning him in a wave of ecstasy, knowing his effect on you hasn’t changed even after all these years.
Pecks and kitten licks are what he gives. It’s torturous, he knows, but he wants to worship your body like this, wants to cause pleasure in every bit of flesh that he explores, wants to savor what he’s missed and craved for so long.
But you also know how he is, how this is part of him building your anticipation because once he gets to where he wants, where you need him the most, he’ll swallow you whole and leave you wanting more.
He spreads open your legs and you’re so lost in the pleasure of the waiting game that you jerk from the feel of his warm muscle licking the strip of your opening even if you were expecting it already. At the same time, his finger rubs your nub, both movements in tandem with each other, building the pace until it’s a steady rhythm, until he’s devouring you, two fingers jutting in and out of you, one hand finding your breast that he expertly fondles, and his tongue twirling your nub, up and down, side to side.
“Shit, shit, Kook. Fuck, yes, baby. Fuck, yes,” you repeat like a mantra.
It’s like an out-of-body experience, considering how you haven’t been touched like this since, well, him. You always knew no one would come close to how good he is, to how well he knows your body, to how much he enjoys pleasuring you. To how absolutely divine he makes you feel.
You’re writhing underneath him - toes curling and hand gripping on his hair, mouth open and eyes shut, bated breaths and strangled cries letting him know you’re close, that you’re falling apart, that nothing’s changed.
“Cum in my tongue, baby,” he grunts. “Let me taste you. Fuck, you’re so sweet, so good for me,” he cries out, as he bucks onto the mattress, feeling his dick so hard, anticipating when he gets to be inside you.
He’s built you up so well that when you cum the second time and he’s moaning in your pussy, lapping up your juices like he intends to lick you dry, you ask for more.
“Want you in me, please, Kook,” you wail. “Take me please.”
He gets up, pumps himself, and whines internally when you mention a condom, but he follows and pretty soon, he’s aligning himself with your entrance, your legs around his waist, and he plunges into you, his head rolling back at the feeling. He’s thrusting into you intensely, following your screams to go harder, and he’s so lost in the pleasure of you around him that even with the amount of effort he’s giving, he feels like he’s floating.
You feel so good, just as he remembers, as if the last time was just yesterday. You’re sucking him in, your warm juices coating him entirely and he weakens at the feel of you, the relief of being inside you so overwhelming that he could come right this second.
Your back is arching and he shifts his position, pushing you towards the headboard, the new angle allowing him to get deeper, your slightly bent form giving him space to fondle your breast and play with your clit.
The overstimulation is warranted, you both think, as it’s been so long since you’ve had each other like this. So much has happened but so little has been said, and this was how you always wanted to express what you felt in ways that your words couldn’t, because they always fell short. Because they were never enough.
Your face contorts in pleasure and you let out the cry that doesn’t make a sound, and he thrusts harder to reach his climax with you.
“Baby, come with me please,” he begs. “Fuck, I’m close,” he grunts.
“I’m coming, Kook. Fuck fuck—“
The dam breaks and you both savor the feeling, like you’re floating but your bodies feel so alive.
You ride out your highs and you’re both panting, sweat trickling down the sides of your faces, and you gaze at each other, all the words spilling out in the form of bated breaths, sore limbs, and the sound of soft laughter.
“I love you, ___. I love you so, so much,” he whispers close to you.
You capture his lips in a soft kiss. “I love you, Kook.”
“I didn’t think I could have you again like this, you know? Didn’t think I’d find that light again,” he says, hand tucking the stray hair behind your ear then lying down and pulling you close to him.
“Coming home to you and Jungwon has been the best thing to happen to me, ___. Like I’d go through all that darkness again just to have you this way.”
You smile at him, knowing you don’t need words to tell him that he and Jungwon are the best thing to happen to you, too. You don’t miss the pain in his voice, though, referring to that point after you left him as darkness, and you feel a pang in your chest at this. But you caress his face, as if to tell him it’s all okay, that he’s home, that he’s home with you.
Jungkook looks at you like you’re his whole world, like everything is right in his life, like the past 5 years have all been worth it, something he verbalizes as he gazes at you so tenderly, like he’s committing to memory your exhausted and satisfied and blissed out form.
He holds you like you’re made of glass, like if he’s not careful, he’ll lose you all over again; he holds you with no intention of letting you go.
You lay next to each other for a while, savoring the feeling, letting the moment linger.
You complain that you’re sweaty after a while and he invites you to shower, something you share in peace as your hands gently roam each other’s bodies. It’s languid kisses and soft moans until you finish, and then he wipes you dry.
He heads to the kitchen for a glass of water and he returns to you dressed in his oversized white shirt and your damp hair, his heart skipping a beat at the sight that he’s missed so much, too - you, drowning in his clothes, looking so comfortable, so soft, so safe.
You gingerly approach your side of the bed and he meets you there, cradles you in his arms as you lay your head in his bare chest, steady breathing now echoing through the room.
Neither of you say anything more, as he runs his fingers through your hair and yours trace his skin.
It’s perfect, you think. Too perfect.
You wake up shortly past 6AM, your body now used to being up at this hour. You’re not used to an arm over your waist though, and soft breathing warming the back of your neck.
You savor this for a while, missing moments like this with Jungkook and how it used to be when everything was still and it was just you and him in your own little world, until reality kicked in and responsibilities like school and baseball pulled you away from each other, one leaving the other’s home, waiting for the next time that you could see each other again.
Your responsibility this time is Jungwon, though, and it’s a welcome one. He’s not used to waking up without his Mama next to him and you don’t want him to feel sad about it, knowing he’d been tired and looking for you the day before. But you give yourself some time first, knowing he won’t be up soon, and you turn to the man next to you.
Jungkook is so beautiful when he looks peaceful, when there’s no game to analyze, no batting average to obsess over, no workout or training to think about. He’s snoring louder than you remember, and you wonder if that’s a product of getting older or if it’s from last night. Regardless, it’s one you don’t mind getting used to this time around.
You can’t help but think of all he went through though, from when you walked out of his life, to starting on his own in a foreign place. You haven’t talked much about it. All you know are from what your friends have told you, how Jungkook worked so hard to perfect his craft, not just to honor his father but to try to forget about you, too.
You can’t help but think, too, that he succeeded, dating Maia for almost two years, sharing parts of himself with her, being intimate with her, maybe loving her.
You wonder what he felt and thought about that night you left, how hurt he must’ve been at the thought that you didn’t want him anymore, that you didn’t love him enough to try.
Though he agreed, he asked you to stay, begged you not to go, the words passing through the door that separated you two before you finally walked away. Even at the end of it, he was crying out for you and you left him there, all alone.
He’d told you that it had been hard, that he had to live with believing that you didn’t think it would work out. You never had to worry about that, at least right after, because essentially it wasn’t his decision, it was yours. You had your son to remind you everyday of the love you shared with his father, while all Jungkook had were photos and memories of what was, what he no longer had.
Your chest tightens again at the thought of this, of how much you hurt him, and though everything had felt like a dream - from Jungwon wanting Jungkook, to Jungkook wanting you - you start to wonder, is it really this easy, him forgiving you and moving on?
You try not to dwell on it, and instead kiss his cheek before you head out and walk towards your room, quietly opening the door to see that Jungwon hasn’t moved much since last night. You take one of the pillows away and lie down next to him, smiling at the thought of the older version of him that you’d just woken up next to earlier, and you let the little one’s soft breathing lull you back to sleep.
Soft knocks awaken you, and you find Jungkook peeking at the door, questioning eyes wondering if he could disturb you.
You nod at him to come in and he sits on the edge of the bed. “Good morning,” he says, softly as the little one is just starting to wake up.
“Good morning,” you smile, eyes tired and body still feeling a little sore.
“I know you’re tired,” he smirks, “but the guys are on their way and I was hoping maybe you could help me set up?”
You’d almost forgotten the party at the apartment today, hence why you didn’t even set your alarm, which tells you that it’s past 10AM. The celebration with your friends is happening today, and Jungkook decided to have it here so that Jungwon can play with his toys or nap while the adults eat and game and drink about.
“Oh yeah, I’m so sorry,” you say, eyes wide in apology. “I’ll get us ready and we’ll head out.” You kiss him on the cheek as he expectantly looks at you, and you let Jungwon do the same before you head to the bathroom and prepare yourself for another long day.
It’s half an hour later when the guys arrive, armed with food, gifts, and alcohol, at least what’s good enough for a lunch-to-dinner affair.
You and Yoongi help Jin and his girlfriend prepare the food in the kitchen while the rest of your friends, including Sarang, busy themselves watching baseball and playing with Jungwon in the blanket fort that you still haven’t disassembled.
Lunch is served and Jungkook finds ways to be close to you, his hand settling on your waist, his mouth ghosting over your ear to whisper flirty things like he used to, his eyes finding you wherever you are. You indulge him, grazing your fingers over his thighs, laughing at his annoyingly cheesy but funny remarks, but your eyes don’t linger; you smile instead and look away, always finding Jungwon to prod over whenever that happens.
You just can’t get the vision of Jungkook’s longing eyes from the night before, which is odd considering how gratifying and beautiful the previous evening was. You tell yourself you just need time to get over that sadness, and everything will be the way they should be.
Jungkook takes your cue about not announcing how your relationship has progressed, given that while last night had been some intensely pleasurable lovemaking, you both haven’t really talked about what’s going to happen next. Plans will change, definitely, you just aren’t sure where exactly you’ll go from here.
The day passes by quickly. The food is fantastic, the company even more so. Jungwon skips on his afternoon nap again to play with his uncles, who all take turns in the blanket fort with him to either play instruments with him, have tea, color, or read him a story.
You know the little one enjoys having his uncles and aunties here, too, and you feel happy that he’s learned to warm up to them. You’re excited for him to grow up and realize how strong of a support system he has, given how incredible your friends are, and how wonderful they’ve been to him.
The lunch-to-dinner affair extends to after-dinner, as by 8PM, everyone has decided to just lay back and enjoy conversations with each other, with a replay of some soccer game playing in the background. You stay seated next to Jungkook, who randomly engages in dialogue with Jungwon, who is forcing himself to stay awake even if his tiny body is telling him that he’s tired.
It’s his humming as a response to Jungkook’s question that lets you know it’s time for bed, so you excuse yourselves and take the time to shower as well, knowing that you’ll probably pass out once the guys leave, too.
It’s close to 10PM when they leave, and Jungkook tells you he’ll just wash up, and you respond by saying that you’ll just keep Jungwon company, leaving the older man a little confused, expecting that after last night, you’d be sleeping next to him already.
You will, you tell yourself. You want to. You’re just bidding yourself some time so that when you lay next to Jungkook, you’ll fall asleep right after. He’s still in that daze, you think, wanting to look into your eyes while he talks to you, hugs you, fucks you, and your mind is just in a state of overthinking and worrying, with insecurities making another appearance, albeit in a different form.
Jungkook softly opens the door and sighs, and though a smile graces his face, you know that he knows that something is up.
“Are you going to sleep here?” He asks, voice a little sad with the possibility that you’d say yes.
But you shake your head and get off the bed, placing a pillow in the space you’d left, and you kiss Jungwon goodnight. Jungkook does the same and you walk out the door before him, heading to the bedroom on the other side.
A hand wraps around your wrist, a low voice calling out your name.
“Hmm?” You ask, turning around.
Jungkook stands there, hands in the pockets of his sweatpants, teeth nibbling his lips. He knows he shouldn’t be worried. You told him you love him last night. You’d responded to his affection today, indulged him with his flirty teasing, held his hand when it found yours. But something else is bothering you and he needs to know why.
“Do you regret last night?” He finally asks.
“No, I don’t,” you respond. It’s the truth.
“Do you want it to happen again?”
“Of course, Jungkook.”
“Then what’s wrong?” He looks down, nervous with what you’ll say.
“Nothing, just silly musings,” you say. “I overthink, you know that.”
“Can we talk about it?” He sounds anxious, like he’s unsure if he can ask this. It’s how you used to work things out. This is what your brother said about you two knowing how to handle things before they become a real issue.
You nod in agreement, then he motions to the couch, and you end up sitting a few feet away from him.
“How bad is it that you have to stay as far away from me as possible?” He asks, tone a little playful but eyes looking the opposite. You scoot closer, pulling the oversized sweatshirt you’re wearing over your folded knees, and you peer at him.
“Last night was….” You start, and Jungkook looks nervous, like he’s scared of some underlying issue he didn’t pick up on. “Great, Jungkook. It was really great,” you smile, thinking back to how good he felt touching you, devouring you, being inside you.
“It’s like my body went through all these changes but you still knew it like the back of your hand. You knew how to move, what to do, what to say and it just… it felt like everything is different but still the same,” you continue, fingers picking at the hem of your top, eyes avoiding his again.
“And it was so easy to fall into it like a dream, you know? Like we could just go back to how things were before. Like it’s so easy to do that.”
“Why won’t it?” He questions, eyebrows scrunching. “What’s so hard about that?”
“Because I hurt you, Jungkook. I hurt you so much. I can’t take that back,” you say, tone guilty.
“I’m not asking you to. It doesn’t matter anymore.” He pulls you closer to him and lifts your chin up to face him. “Knowing what I know now, it was all worth it.”
“I told you why I had to break it off, why I had to act like it didn’t affect me,” you stammer. “Doesn’t mean I never stopped caring, that I never stopped thinking about you. I mean, I saw you every single day through Jungwon,” you continue, mind going to the days when you missed Jungkook so much but only had to look at your son and feel like the man you love is just with you, like he never left. It was always a bittersweet feeling.
“I never stopped loving you, Kook. But I know that it wasn’t the same for you. You had to go on believing I didn’t want you anymore, that I didn’t love you. And you moved on from that, moved on from me. Only to find out that we have a son, a son—“
“Who is the absolute joy of our lives, ___. The sweetest being in this world and we made him. If there’s anything I’m sure of, it’s that he’s a product of our love. I look at him and I see you, I see the love I have for you…”
“That you had for me. Before everything, before I broke your heart, before you left, before you moved on from me.”
You find it in you to look at his eyes this time, as if to let him know of your insecurities, your worries. You want to share them with him, not to burden him but to help you figure them out. You’re throwing out the questions that fill your mind because you want to find the answers with him right next to you.
“You came home to continue playing the game you love only to find me and our son, and it’s natural to feel carried away, because of course we want the best for Jungwon and that means being together but is it really that easy? To just get back to where we left off? Like I didn’t break your heart?”
You shift in your seat, scared of the next question you’re about to ask. It has been swimming in your mind for a while now, if you’re being honest.
“You know Jungwon is my whole world but… is he why I’m yours? I mean, the only reason why?”
You see him take a deep breath and close his eyes, as if in deep thought.
“I’m not saying it’s wrong, okay? I just… I just wanna know my place…” You stammer, face falling at how ridiculous you sound.
Your mind is going overdrive and suddenly thinking of all these things. You love your son with your whole heart, but he’s the product of a love that may have passed. If he’s the only reason why the love between you and Jungkook now exists, then at least you know.
“Baby, you’re scared that I only love you because you’re the mother of our child? And not because of the woman that you are?”
“Well. I mean, there’s more,” you whisper.
He sighs, a flicker of sadness in his eyes.
Your shoulders fall. Hearing it from him that way makes you feel selfish. “This is stupid, I’m sorry,” you shake your head.
“Can you look at me, please?” He requests, and you follow.
“Do you know why I came home?”
“You said it all felt too fast, living there,” you respond, remembering that one conversation when you pointed out how he had such a good life in LA.
“It was my dad,” he says, a soft smile forming on his face.
“What about him?”
“Remember the letters he wrote me every year for my birthday?”
They’re all in the dark blue box placed on Jungkook’s office shelf. When his father had gotten sick, he started writing a birthday letter for Jungkook, one for every year, so he could leave something for his son after he had passed.
“The last one he got to write was for my 22nd birthday, in the year I left. I didn’t read it then, not the year after, or the year after that. I kept saying it was the last one and I wanted to savor it, because there wouldn’t be another one after. But really, I guess I was just scared,” he sighs.
“He was always writing things about how he hopes I’m doing and feeling, what I’ve accomplished. And with that last letter, I worried. What if what I’d achieved wasn’t enough? What if I realize I still disappointed him? I mean, I left everything behind to pursue our dream and what if it wasn’t enough? And I was right,” he chuckles.
“It was the middle of contract negotiation and there were other teams wooing me too, including the Bears, and I didn’t know what to do. I found the box and saw the letter and I don’t know but it felt like it had the answer. And it did. Because I was right. What I’d achieved wasn’t enough.”
Your heart hurts at this, hurts for him. Disappointing his father was the one thing he couldn’t bear, you knew that much.
“You know what he wanted for me that he’d written down?” He continues. “He wanted me to be happy. He wanted to make sure that I was living my best life. And in the midst of everything, I knew I wasn’t. It was all too fast, too much, too big for me, and I was all alone,” he sighs.
“In that same box was this Polaroid picture of me. It was from a game, probably important since you’d written ‘big win’ at the bottom. I don’t even remember much from that day but you took it, and I swear, looking at that photo, I could hear your laugh. And I’d never missed you more.”
He takes your hands in his and looks you in the eyes.
“I was living the dream, just not mine. Not even my dad’s. At least not anymore. I needed home. I needed you. It didn’t mean much without you.” He smiles.
“You always grounded me, you know? Whenever I was flying too close to the sun, when I was flying blindly, you always grounded me. And fuck did you do that, too that day. You and my dad, two of the most important people in my life.”
He pinches the corners of his eyes to stop the tears before they fall. Jungkook remembers that moment when it happened, how reading that letter and finding that photo caused him to break down. He needed it that moment, as he realized that dreams can change, and that it’s okay. He needed his dad to remind him what really matters. At that moment, he knew that he needed you.
“Even before I knew about Jungwon, I wanted to come home to you,” he says, shakily. “It didn’t matter how we left it, it didn’t matter that you broke my heart and that I let you walk away. It only mattered how we’d go from there. Of course things didn’t go as planned,” he laughs now, going back to that moment in the grocery store, 8 months ago when everything changed.
“I was gonna look for you the day after I arrived and ask for another chance. I went to my mother because I had to tell her everything, why I left my life in LA, why I came home, because I wanted to be with you. But I don’t regret what happened instead. I mean, I know I was angry and really hurt but I got over all that and I just—”
“Jungkook, baby…” You say, wiping the tears that have now begun to fall from his face.
“I know we were in college and we had the rest of our lives ahead of us. Maybe it didn’t feel stable enough then or it was too early to settle down. Maybe we weren’t so sure about us yet or it felt too fast,” he stammers.
“When I was away, I convinced myself that I could find another “us,” that I’d get over losing you, but I couldn’t. It was always gonna be you. And I’m so sorry I hadn’t been able to tell you all this. I didn’t know how.”
At this, you cry. He came home for you, wanted to be with you after everything, despite everything, and maybe because of everything.
Jungkook finding out that you both had a son perhaps had been the final piece to the love story that started the moment he purposely missed hitting Taehyung’s arm with the baseball so he could get a rise out of you, so he could get your attention.
Jungwon, who stands to be the embodiment of that love that was always patient, understanding, unyielding, is also the reason why that same love continues to grow and to heal.
“I’m so sorry, Kook,” you sob.
“Stop apologizing,” he says, gently removing your hands from your face and wiping the tears that have fallen. “Thank you for telling me what you were feeling. And I know I should’ve said this earlier, way earlier, in fact, if I just wasn’t so blinded by anger and pain and this desire to be enough for our son, not realizing that I’ve been wanting to be enough for you, too. So I’m sorry, because I said I wanted to do this right but I just…”
He sees that you haven’t stopped, so taking cues from his son about what to do when you cry, he kisses your lips, softly, and you deepen it because you need an anchor; you need him to ground you this time.
He laughs into the kiss and with his strong arms, he lifts you to straddle him. He shifts you on his lap until he’s able to pull you closer for another kiss, and another, and another.
“You came home for me,” you repeat, letting it sink in.
“I did, baby. It wasn’t enough without you,” he whispers, as he hugs you tightly then goes for another kiss. You kiss him back and you continue to sniffle, his hands pulling the neckline of your sweatshirt to wipe your tears.
“Almost forgot you’re such a crier now,” he giggles.
“Motherhood changed me,” you shrug, recalling how this had been a rare sight in your relationship from before.
“Yeah! I mean, my boobs have become a little saggy, somehow my stretch marks don’t go away… I’m pretty emotional, as you can tell. I got that from our little boy, though, as he’s always been an advocate for letting out your emotions,” you laugh.
Jungkook laughs with you, and then his look turns lustful, tongue licking his lips now.
“You know what hasn’t changed though?” He asks.
“What?” You cock an eyebrow.
“How you feel around me,” he huffs, pulling you closer again. “And how you sound when I fuck you,” he whispers in your ear.
“Baby, Jungwon is in the room,” you scowl, though you can’t deny how turned on you feel with his words.
“Asleep, like a log. We’ll hear if he opens the door, which I doubt.”
You’re about to protest again but he talks first.
“Please, babe?” He shifts underneath you, jutting his crotch to yours. “I would’ve gone for another round last night if we weren’t so tired.”
“And we aren’t right now?”
“One round is good,” he says, biting your lower lip as he bucks into you, and you moan at the movement. “Or maybe two.”
You laugh because he really would push it. “Two is good,” you say. “Although I feel so exposed in the living room.”
Hands still on your hips, Jungkook turns to the blanket fort, a smirk forming at the memories of how your nights used to be back when you made your own.
He cocks his head to the side, causing you to turn. “What do you say, babe? For old time’s sake?”
You bite your lip because those times were some of your best, and you excitedly nod and he giggles at your eagerness, pulling him towards your hideaway for tonight.
You return to your position on his lap, and the giggles quickly turn into soft moans as your lips meet his for languid kisses, heads shifting for the right angle, your tongue darting out to dance with his.
Your hands move from his shoulder to his neck to his hair, while his move from your ass to underneath your sweatshirt, hands grazing your torso until they’re fondling your breasts, flicking and pinching your hardened nipples.
Clothes are removed soon after, and you sate your need for friction by gliding your pussy up and down his throbbing length, head rolling back at just the feel of him bare against you.
“Fuck, baby. Need you right now,” he grunts, as he watches you get off on him.
“Condom,” you breathe out.
“Are you on birth control?”
“Implants,” you respond, turning to him.
“I heard that’s pretty effective.”
“Jungkook…” You say, as if in question.
“We’ll deal with whatever happens. Together. If it’s okay,” he smiles. “I just really, really wanna feel all of you.
Together. You’ll deal with it together.
“Okay,” you give in.
You glide a few more times until Jungkook lifts your ass up so you could sink down on him, both of you moaning at the feel.
His hands on your ass supplement your own up and down movement on him, your knees on either side of his legs, your hands on his shoulder serving as the perfect support for your filthy act. It’s skin slapping on skin and messy kisses that reverberate through the small space, and you’re thankful, especially tonight, that your son is a heavy sleeper. And that you’d been too tired to disassemble this earlier.
You shift your angle as you sit up, body arching away from him, his one hand supporting your back. The other finds your nub, ministrations just as addictive, and his mouth alternates lapping between your right breast and your left.
You continue bucking into him and your moans get louder and louder, and that’s enough for the coil in your stomach to snap and you’re creaming all over him.
He’s still hard so he flips you on your back, his body slightly propped against the wall, and he plunges into you, the oversensitivity a welcome one. He growls as he watches his dick move in and out of you and it’s a sight he’ll never get tired of.
He lets you moan in his ear, loving how you sound, coaxing you with his sensual words and relentless thrusting.
“You feel so good around me, babe. Want this everyday,” he kisses. “I want to hear you like this everyday.”
Your mouth finds his neck and you suck on the skin as your fingers trace his chest, your flicks on his nipple causing him to push harder.
“I want you everyday, Kook. Want you to make love to me like this always,” you moan, as you take all of him in, revel in his sounds, in how he feels.
Sharing something as intimate as reaching the physical boundaries of each other, knowing this is as far as you can go, knowing there’s no one else you’d be this bare for, this vulnerable with, is so beautiful. It’s euphoric, and in many ways, life-changing. And you can’t help the overwhelming feeling, knowing that you get to do this with the man you love with your whole heart.
You clench around him, whispering the words, “cum for me,” and it’s what it takes for him to release his seed inside you, slowing down his movements as he rides his high.
With his forehead against yours, he pants. “This was a good idea. You sound even better here.”
“We’re disassembling this tomorrow and dry cleaning everything,” you demand, and he laughs along as he settles next to you.
Jungkook doesn’t push it and sticks to two rounds, but he holds you in his embrace, languidly kissing your cheeks, your eyes, your nose, and your lips. He thinks your laugh sounds good here, too.
Not much has changed, you smile to yourself as he pulls a blanket over you, maybe just your decreased stamina and his unfailing one. And maybe there’s a little more desperation this time - grips are tighter, eyes gazing at each other more longingly, whispers of I love you more frequent, as if you need to remind each of what your hearts have been craving for the other to know, to remember, to believe.
Come to think of it, maybe more has changed. Even with your bodies knowing each other’s just the same, your movements say more, feel more, yearn for more. But you still reach your limits and get tired, and you have responsibilities in the morning, but you know you’ll take them on. Together.
The floor with the quilt feels almost as good as the bedroom mattress. Coupled with the firm chest your head is laying against, the scent of vanilla and musk wafting through your nose, and the steady breathing of the man next to you, you feel so comfortable that you don’t want to fully wake up. But you do, knowing it’s a Monday, and the light seeping through the blankets tells you that you’re right on time and you didn’t actually oversleep, despite last night’s events.
You force yourself out of the strong arm that’s wrapped around though, earning you an annoyed grunt from Jungkook.
“Baby, I have work, and I need to prepare Jungwon’s snacks and get him ready for school,” you say, trying to tickle him so that he can release you. “And you have a workout.”
He groans like a child but finds his phone somewhere on the floor and checks the time.
“You leave in an hour, babe. You can spare a few more minutes,” he says. “And I asked for a later workout.”
“Can we spend those few minutes with Jungwon, then? I think he’d like it if he woke up and found us next to him,” you smile sweetly, knowing that Jungkook won’t be able to resist that. And you’re right.
You both get dressed and head to the bedroom where the little one is still sleeping soundly, no doubt still tired from yesterday’s celebration. You cocoon him with your hugs, with you and Jungkook on either side, both your arms placed gently over him.
You and Jungkook end up spending the couple of minutes just admiring your son, talking about his mannerisms, his favorite words, the faces he makes when he says those words, and you quietly laugh as Jungwon scrunches his nose when you pepper him with kisses to try to wake him up and get him ready for school.
His waking up process starts and you give him a few minutes, and you and Jungkook go back to just watching Jungwon be.
“I was thinking of going to the lake this weekend, after my away games this week. It’s just a short trip and the weather seems really nice for it,” Jungkook says, and you smile and nod in agreement.
“And then maybe take him to Disneyland in Japan in Hong Kong? And then we could go to a ski resort, too. And then a beach somewhere when it gets too cold,” he continues. “Maybe we can ask him if there’s a sport he wants to learn? Or a musical instrument? Maybe he likes to sing or dance. And then perhaps take him to art lessons? We can rearrange this bedroom so he’ll have a mini-studio. Then we could…”
Jungkook stops, looking at your amused and tender-looking face. “Sorry, I think I’m getting carried away,” he laughs.
“It’s okay, babe. Keep going,” you smile, and he does, until the little one fully wakes up, ecstatic over all the plans that his father lays out for him over what you’ll all do, as a family.
“Because you and Mama will stay here with me,” he says, looking at you, a decision you both made last night and wanted to share with the little one immediately.
“Forever?” Jungwon asks, wide eyes anticipating a favorable answer.
“If that’s what you want, bug,” you say.
“Yay!” He squeals. “I get to be with Mama and Papa forever!”
You and Jungkook laugh, then proceed to kiss both his cheeks until he’s laughing and insisting he’ll kiss you both, too.
Jungkook takes the lead in giving the little one a bath, who now can’t stop talking about the lake trip this weekend and wondering if he’ll find crabs that he can show his uncle Namjoon, and if he can bring his art materials so he can draw something he’ll show his uncle Taehyung, and if he can have his uncle Jin’s black bean noodles because he enjoyed it so much.
You watch Jungkook answer every question, hype him up, and tell him more things that you’ll do, all while giving him a bath and dressing him up, with Jungwon adding to what you now refer to as your family bucket list. He wants to go camping, wants to look at the stars, wants to fly kites, and so many other things.
You give him the biggest kiss and tell him that you’ll have so much time now to do everything he wants to do.
It’s exciting, thinking like this, like it’s an adventure in itself - learning about your son, learning about the world through him, and loving life even more because of him.
Just last year, it almost felt like you were living by the day, just making sure Jungwon had everything he needed - the basics, then indulging him in fun things when you can, then worrying whether he’ll ask about his father. It had been hard thinking of more, of other things, of a future that he’s always deserved.
But with Jungkook in his life, and back in yours the way you think he was always meant to be, everything feels so new, surreal even, but every bit satisfying and exhilarating.
You can make proper plans for primary school and high school, and college, if Jungwon decides. You can give him various options when it comes to honing his interests and hobbies. You have time and resources to have family vacations and spontaneous trips.
And you have a home. A home filled with so much love. A home that will always forgive you, understand you, ground you, and heal you.
September ends. Then October, where you celebrate your birthday with your closest friends and family in a ski resort, the little one declaring that he wants to be a snowman. Or a snowboarder. Either one is fine, he says.
November comes and goes, the Doosan Bears falling a game short of making it to the Korean Series. Even with a star hitter like Jeon Jungkook on their team, they still need work, the media says. Yet despite failing to reach his baseball goal for the year of winning a championship, Jungkook isn’t upset nor sad.
On the day of their last game, he stays behind in the stadium, looking out onto the field, a view that has given him the biggest joy and purpose growing up. He sits on one of the chairs with you and Jungwon next to him, the two people who mean the world to him. And he’s never felt so happy.
“I did it, Dad,” he says, as he holds you and the little one in his arms. “I did it.”
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