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#absolute pain to defeat love her
fictionadventurer · 1 year
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Pop culture reduces It's a Wonderful Life to that last half hour, and thinks the whole thing is about this guy traveling to an alternate universe where he doesn't exist and a little girl saying, "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings." A hokey, sugary fantasy. A light and fluffy story fit for Hallmark movies.
But this reading completely glosses over the fact that George Bailey is actively suicidal. He's not just standing there moping about, "My friends don't like me," like some characters do in shows that try to adapt this conceit to other settings. George's life has been destroyed. He's bankrupt and facing prison. The lifetime of struggle we've been watching for the last two hours has accomplished nothing but this crushing defeat, and he honestly believes that the best thing he can do is kill himself because he's worth more dead than alive. He would have thrown himself from a bridge had an actual angel from heaven not intervened at the last possible moment.
That's dark. The banker villain that pop culture reduces to a cartoon purposely drove a man to the brink of suicide, which only a miracle pulled him back from. And then George Bailey goes even deeper into despair. He not only believes that his future's not worth living, but that his past wasn't worth living. He thinks that every suffering he endured, every piece of good that he tried to do was not only pointless, but actively harmful, and he and the world would be better off if he had never existed at all.
This is the context that leads to the famed alternate universe of a million pastiches, and it's absolutely vital to understanding the world that George finds. It's there to specifically show him that his despondent views about his effect on the universe are wrong. His bum ear kept him from serving his country in the war--but the act that gave him that injury was what allowed his brother to grow up to become a war hero. His fight against Potter's domination of the town felt like useless tiny battles in a war that could never be won--but it turns out that even the act of fighting was enough to save the town from falling into hopeless slavery. He thought that if it weren't for him, his wife would have married Sam Wainwright and had a life of ease and luxury as a millionaire's wife, instead of suffering a painful life of penny-pinching with him. Finding out that she'd have been a spinster isn't, "Ha ha, she'd have been pathetic without you." It's showing him that she never loved Wainwright enough to marry him, and that George's existence didn't stop her from having a happier life, but saved her from having a sadder one. Everywhere he turns, he finds out that his existence wasn't a mistake, that his struggles and sufferings did accomplish something, that his painful existence wasn't a tragedy but a gift to the people around him.
Only when he realizes this does he get to come back home in wild joy over the gift of his existence. The scenes of hope and joy and love only exist because of the two hours of struggle and despair that came before. Even Zuzu's saccharine line about bells and angel wings exists, not as a sugary proverb, but as a climax to Clarence's story--showing that even George's despair had good effect, and that his newfound thankfulness for life causes not only earthly, but heavenly joy.
If this movie has light and hope, it's not because it exists in some fantasy world where everything is sunshine and rainbows, but because it fights tooth and nail to scrape every bit of hope it can from our all too dark and painful world. The light here exists, not because it ignores the dark, but because the dark makes light more precious and meaningful. The light exists in defiance of the dark, the hope in defiance of despair, and there is nothing saccharine about that. It's just about as realistic as it gets.
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deadghosy · 2 months
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“Why do you even care about me?”
“Because I don’t want to mess up again.”
FLUFF
PLATONIC! LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR X CHILD! READER
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You died by your father choking you out in your sleep. Apparently he thought you were the devil himself as you were emotionally unstable. You couldn’t feel emotions but only pain from your peers and the person who you should trust. A person who is suppose to take care of you.
As you walk around hell, a few demons look at you confused to see a child at the age of 8 walking around. You stumble against a leg of a black boot. With a little “ump” you look up rubbing your head to see the man of hell himself, Lucifer.
Before you know you it, you got adopted by the man as he could sense no sinful aura around you. He knew it couldn’t be possible for a youngster to be in hell. He could see your cold eyes that you didn’t know how to feel. So being the duck obsessed man, he made you multiple rubber duck that resemble you and him like a family. He even made you a rubber duck that glows in the dark just incase you don’t like the dark. 
YOU LAY THERE holding the big rubber duck that glows a soft golden light as you snore and nuzzle it. Lucifer peaks through your bedroom door to see you snuggling the duck he made you. He smiles at that putting a hand to his heart. “Such a cute little duckling I have” he says to himself watching you peacefully. He closes your bedroom door as he walks to his workshop to make you more ducks to your liking.
One time you had slapped a rubber duck out of his hands making him pout but make you another as you still slapped it out of his hand. He sighed giving up looking down defeated, but he felt a small figure hug him to only see you hugging him. He guessed he was the one you liked to hold at times.
Charlie absolutely loves you! She finds you hard to talk to, but she makes an effort as you grow close to her as she is protective of her. She likes how you show affection through actions than words as it is said, “actions speak louder than words” and you stuck by it. She shows you around the hotel and the hotel staff loves you. Alastor and Lucifer fight over dad figure even though it’s clear you Love Lucifer more than Alastor which makes Lucifer pick you up and shove you in the radio demon’s face with a smug smile as he laughs at him.
“HA HA MY KID LOVES ME THAN YOU! SUCK IT!”
One time though, you were kinda cautious of the powerful man of hell himself as he tried to talk to you after it’s been a week. He didn’t know why you flinched from him with a dead stare. He soon realized you didn’t overcome your past of now. He sighs as he heard a tiny voice towards him.
“Why do you care for me?” You said in a soft voice as you fidget with your hands
Lucifer eyes widen at your cute little voice. He cleared his throat as he cups his hands together looking at you seriously.
“Because I don’t want to mess up again.” He says towards you
That was the last he said to you as y tears seep through your long lashes as you hold the rubber duck he gave you when you first came into his palace. And that’s all it took for you and him to grow close with another.
You had him and he had you.
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anotherblinder · 7 months
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The Ring
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Summary || (Y/n) Shelby loses her ring and Thomas helps find it
Word Count || 1.2k
Pairing || Thomas Shelby x Reader
Warnings || There are no warnings
Notes || Hello! It's been a moment since i last posted but here i am with another fic! This one just came to mind while i was writing other fics and i just had to write it out! Super thanks again to @runnning-outof-time for proof reading! Go read her works she is absolutely amazing!
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Overwhelming frustration surged through (Y/N) as she looked frantically around the house. Even the help was trying their best to look for it. (Y/n)’s wedding ring had gone missing. She swore up and down she never took it off her finger. It was a very uncommon occurrence for her to remove it. Which is why there was such a panic settled in her.   
The whole house had been searched and it still hadn’t turned up. Feeling defeated, tears started to prick her eyes as she tried to remember where she could have lost it. Not even noticing when her husband Thomas had got home. Too preoccupied with trying to find her precious ring. The Shelby was beating herself up for losing it. Deep down she knew Tommy wouldn’t be upset and just buy her a new one. The thought of having a new one broke her heart. This one means so much to her, it was the one he gave her when they had nothing. How hard Tommy worked to get her that one when they had almost not a dime to their name. It meant so much to her, showed how much he loved her and worked to get her a decent ring at that time in their life. That’s why she was desperate to find it. 
Seconds after he walked through the door, he could see the unusual panic in the house. Well, of his wife at least. Frances had told him the details of what’s been happening over the last few hours. Tommy let out a sigh before thanking the woman and going to his wife. He could see the frustration and panic written all over her. Carefully he walked over to her and placed his hand on her back.  
“Darling, it’s just a ring, I can buy you a new one.” He reassured her   
This seemed to be the wrong course of action. The tears she had been holding back started to fall down her cheeks. Pain was evident in her eyes as she looked at him. It made his heart clench at the sight, realizing what he said did not bring her any comfort at all.  
“I don’t want another ring! I want that one!” She cried   
At that she had moved away from Tommy and stood looking around the room. The man didn’t understand why it was such a big deal to her. It was just a ring, at least to him it was. They didn’t need a silly little piece of metal to show the love they have for each other. Though he didn’t understand, Tommy wanted too. It was clear it meant a great deal to her. Even if it wasn’t to him.  
“What makes you upset about losing the ring? It’s just a ring.”  
Tommy watched as she paused and turned to face him again. Taking the opportunity, he gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. He’d do anything to make his wife happy again, even if that means tearing up the house finding the ring she seems to love so much. Her lips trembled as she took a moment to gather her thoughts.  
“It’s not just a ring, Tommy. You got that for me when we didn’t have this life. When you couldn’t even afford a ring like that. I know how hard you worked for it. Just to get something nice even when I said not to worry. It showed me how much you truly love me and how far you went to get it. That’s why I want that one, it’s full of so much love. I don’t want just some pretty ring you can buy now. I want the one you worked tirelessly to get.”   
Tommy didn’t know what answer he was expecting but it wasn’t that. It made his love for her deepen as he heard her words. They pierced his heart. Sure, he worked hard for the ring but always felt his wife deserved a better ring. Hell, he even swore that when he made it, he’d get her a better ring. When he heard she lost it he thought it would be a good opportunity, but now? Now he just can’t bring himself to do that. Not when he knew she would hate whatever ring he bought her to replace the one she loves so dearly. Unknown to Tommy a smile had grown on his lips as (Y/n) explained why she didn’t want a new one. Leaning in he gave her a gentle kiss and pulled away to look at her.  
“We’ll find your ring.” He said  
“Thank you, Tommy.”   
‘Where did you have it last?” Tommy asked  
She paused and thought for a moment. 
“I remember seeing it in the garden last.”   
“Let’s go look there.”  
Tommy took her hand and walked out to the garden. He knew deep down if they did not find it, he would buy one to replace it. She would not like it, but he could not let her walk around without a wedding ring either. Tommy is still a man who wants to keep his wife to himself. He held onto the hope that they would find it out here, somehow. The couple split up to cover more area of the garden. After searching one area Tommy came to her favourite part of the garden. It was covered with her favourite flowers with a beautiful bench he had made with a table to accompany it.   
The spring winds blew around him while looking for the ring. First, he checked the table then the ground next to it. Both coming up empty. A glimmer in the bed of flowers caught his eye. Knowing what it was, he got down on one knee and picked the ring out of the flower bed. It amazed him how she could have come to love this old thing. But maybe he was starting to understand. Footsteps echoed to his left and he turned in that direction. (Y/n) stood a few feet from him and Tommy swore she never looked more beautiful. The sun is shining off her beautiful hair. Her eyes shining like priceless jewels, always full of love when she looked at him. Like he was the only thing in the world to her. Gently he picked a flower from the stem while standing to his feet.   
Noticing him coming toward her, (Y/n) rushed over and he could see the hope on her face. Smiling Tommy held up the ring, watching the giant grin that formed on her face.   
“You found it! Oh, thank you Tommy!”   
Wordlessly he took her left hand and slid the ring back onto her finger. Right at home where it belonged. He placed a kiss over the ring, making blush rise to his brides' cheeks at the sudden show of affection. The smile on his face showed just how much he loves the woman right in front of him. Feeling the romantic mood in the air, both leaned in for a kiss. A soft, slow kiss showing the love they still held for each other after all these years. Pulling away, he placed the flower he picked earlier behind her ear and held out his arm.  
“Let’s go inside and tell them you found it eh?”   
“Let’s, then I can help with cleaning up the mess I made in the house.”   
Thomas Shelby didn’t understand the love she held for that ring. Then, he understood, seeing the twinkle in her eyes and it shining off her finger after he found it. Thomas too, came to love that dingy old ring he bought years ago. Because it held all the love they held for each other. It’s truly as priceless as the woman he holds in his heart. 
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gangplanksorenji · 3 months
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Kinknuary Day 12: Anal Sex
Pairing: ITZY Chaeryeong x Male Reader
Word Count: 5,264
[Kinknuary Masterlist]
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There’s a mere escapade of such delightful endeavors, and it’s not that difficult to be into one. Opting to find a way to find such delectability and genuine enjoyment, you started a truce between yourself to find real gratification and not get lost and fight with on what to really enjoy. Maybe, perhaps, you don’t need to swear yourself like that when someone piques your interest, your own self getting excited as she gets along and talks with you even more.
“Single?”
“Maybe I’ll say it’s a no.”
Chaeryeong snaps herself into reality, as she was shocked to know that you’re in a relationship when your mere demeanor doesn’t emit one, in her words. “Why the ‘maybe’? Something wrong that happened?” Chaeryeong furrowed her eyebrows as your response piques her interest on engaging and killing her curiosity, not before sipping on her sweet, alcoholic concoction to kick things off.
“I don’t really want to talk about it but—” You let out a deep sigh as you faintly winced, feeling the pain in your heart as it weighs down pretty heavily and Chaeryeong notices it right away but chooses to listen first. “—she cheated on me and it broke my heart when I knew that…”
Your tone was in faint melancholy and defeat as Chaeryeong shows little sympathy but nonetheless, her façade remains calm and stern, and then sipping another from her sweet cocktail. “She’s a total douche, then, hm?”
“Yah—don’t talk to her like that—”
“But she cheated on you, don’t you see it?” Chaeryeong gives you a defined glance as she wants to snap you to reality even though you can be as delusional as any unhinged person known to man, or perhaps, love making you act this way. She puts down her half-finished cocktail as she inches closer towards you, willing to let you know how this will end up bittersweet. “As much as you love her—this is just unhealthy and you’re not benefiting off of this.”
Maybe Chaeryeong was right about this; and it doesn’t stop there, it’s making you feel something that could absolutely ease the pain and by making it utterly equal. A man will be a man—with a beautiful and a hot girl talking right in front of you, feeling butterflies would be normal as it’s inevitable to feel such connections, maybe more than what words can imply. You brushed off those thoughts in a while yet it bothers you like a young child wanting to play with you, and you’re fighting it to the fullest. 
“I don’t know Chaeryeong—this seems crazy…”
And you’re finally opening your eyes to the reality of the world—brushing off the pain and delusion that made you vulnerable at this moment and it’s absolutely breaking you apart. 
The truth hurts—it does and there’s absolutely nothing you can’t do about it but you need to ease the pain with something and even if it means to do something devilish, then so be it.
“Hah—you know what? It’s going to be fine, honestly.” Chaeryeong smirks at you as she entices you with her charismatic aura, luring you in as she thinks of something that’ll help you with what you’re going through. “Why don’t you make it mutual against her?”
Your face is puzzled, confused on what Chaeryeong has enlightened you into but soon, you’ll know you’re going to get a grip on this but you need to know and make sure what she is thinking. “What do you mean by that?”
Chaeryeong knows how oblivious you will take this as neither party never knew this can end like this, mostly her knowing what to do and of course, she’s not going to let you down with your curiosity killing you slowly. “Aren’t you that oblivious, hm? Of course, you need to get some spicy revenge against her since she started this, no?”
Well, speak of the devil and the devil’s already knocking at your door. As for how wicked her suggestion can be, you can’t help but give in to your devilish side, opting for revenge since your girl has done the same as it totally crumbled your world, piece by piece. You love her, and that is what’s stopping you to submerge onto this possibly cruel act but your other side is reflecting, thinking that this is just going to be fair for both parties as it will hurt her how it hit like a truck on your side.
Maybe it’s time for a fair judgment, settling onto a plan that can get the best for both worlds—
“Come on, I know you’d want this—it would be just fair…” Chaeryeong pulls up a trick in her sleeve that would absolutely make her insatiable and almost nigh-impossible to resist: seduction. Her tone laces honey yet drips with lust; and her moves emanate grace yet dances like a vixen. Now falling under her spell slowly, you can’t help yourself but get riled up with her advancements as she doubles her effort onto luring you more.
Her fingers and her face, inching closer towards yours is the breaking point, let alone her fingers directing you up as her subtle movements on your chin seduces you further. It wasn’t long until the heat around the room ensues as she pulls you in for a kiss and it’s an intimate one. You can just find yourself being more indulged with the luscious taste of her cherry lips as the both of you savor each moment and finally, it wasn’t long until she pulled out and you were met with her beautiful, sincere smile.
“See? It wasn’t that hard…”
“You think this won’t go bad, Chaeryeong?”
Chaeryeong scoffs as her hubristic attitude paints a smug face right after, confident that this won’t hurt your fate in any way. “Of course it won’t—in fact, she’s the one getting the karma, so she deserves it.” Fully indulging onto her succulent taste, you find yourself pulling her for another kiss as she eagerly reciprocates and the heat being emanated by the both of you is skyrocketing and gladly, no one’s even bothering to check up on you but such a predicament will be stopped as you don’t want to get embarrassed further. 
“You’re cute, you know that?” Chaeryeong shyly compliments you as your cheeks flushed red after that, and so your ears show such a rosy hue. 
“Thanks—and also, you’re a great kisser, Chaeryeong—”
“Just call me Chaery, and also, thanks…” The both of you went shy after a wholesome moment but Chaeryeong, quickly changing her demeanor as she finally gets your whole attention, proposes such a risky idea that the both of you will benefit for and will make this night an absolute remarkable one. “How about we can take this somewhere privately?”
You fix yourself and squinted your eyes a little, in a thought if you will agree to her offer as thai deal is probably an act worth remembering, and as a tool for revenge, for her to learn her own lesson to not mess around and fuck with you. So, with such a deep yet quick conclusion, your hands went down on her small, slender waist as you initiated, “Alright, Chaery—we should take this somewhere where we could only see it.”
“Would love to be a part of that.”
And there your evil roots grow on you as the both of you course your way onto the nearest bathroom as it didn’t take some time to find one and here goes the exordium of your devilish desires.
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“God, you’re such a hot girl, Chaery.” Your hands wonder (mostly at her waist and her buttocks) all over her impeccable features and her outfit that perfectly compliments her body, from top to bottom. Your eyes lit in amazement and awe, incredibly blown away with her body as she snaps you back onto her attention, uttering such words that further seduces you into giving in to your own sexual desires.
“Baby—tell me how you like my body. Tell me your favorite one, please…” Chaeryeong lets out a needy whimper as pleads to know what could be your favorite and you flash a smirk because of her wants. Every inch of her body should keep an eye on appreciated as she’s sculpted perfectly and everything is just flawless, and with that being said, it’s hard to really choose on a favorite but there’s one thing that really catches your eye and it’s pretty obvious until you admit it: it’s her thick, spankable butt.
You mutter it and Chaeryeong flashes a smile because of your pure sincerity—not to mention that your eyes glisten with lust and hunger whenever you say those words directed to her. With her hands all over your shoulders and her face painting such a smug expression, you know her confidence is all over the roof with all these comfortable actions of hers as she replies with your sincere thoughts about her body. “I love that you thought of my butt being your favorite baby. With that, don’t you want to touch or rather, feel it.”
Both choices are appealing and hot as fuck: the former already being done and just making both parties anticipate and keep the tempo running yet the latter is what really catches your eye—the urge to really rail her onto the bathroom sink and rail her from behind is such an arousing thought. You know that your primal desire is taking over and what you’re doing with Chaeryeong is wrong but like what you and she said earlier: it’s just fair for both parties and well, karma’s a bitch.
The both of you know where this will go, as it will end on a filthy note and that’s your goal for the time being. Chaeryeong lays her back flat onto the marbled concrete wall as she raises her arms up, making you eye her scrumptious body all you want as she took this as a complimentary move, letting out small whimpers as an encouragement for arousal and spicier foreplay.
“I guess you love my body, huh?”
“I do, Chaery—there’s nothing to dislike about it in any way. This is just perfect…” Catching her off-guard, your lips swiftly pecked her collarbones with kisses and you suckled onto the porcelain skin, but not enough to mark her.
“O-Oh god—that’s g-good—keep doing that…”
And you certainly did. Over the course of a minute, you give her kisses that implies peak affection and admiration as you shower them with it, not leaving any inch untouched with your soft flesh. You kept the atmosphere heated up with numerous pecks as she moaned in response, fueling you to keep up the good work that you bestowed upon her. It didn’t take too long for you to pull out as you’re satisfied with the message you’ve given her and Chaeryeong isn’t done yet, and demanding for more of it.
“You’ve got me riled up on the start, baby—now I gotta reward you for that.” Chaeryeong pushes herself out of her relaxed state, and stands closer towards you, leaning onto your ear and whispering, “How do you want me, for today, hm?”, and then leaning back with a wide grin full of anticipation and lust. 
There's a plethora of options you can possibly do with Chaeryeong, yet so little time to choose from them as you don’t want Chaeryeong to grow impatient. It didn’t take long before you come up with a final decision, and with a delightful smirk to finally live up to the anticipation, everything will be unveiled within seconds—
“I want you from behind and I want you to let me chose, Chaery.”
A simple wish but quite enough to make her mind go wider than the outskirts of her limits—all of the possible ways she could encourage you courses down her veins and this just fuels her enthusiasm more. With such anticipation stored from earlier now broken into pieces, she didn’t waste time to put on a spectacular show that will be surely remarkable as she strips off her clothing but before she continues, she wants to ask you something first and that alone, makes you anticipate even more.
“Would you like me fully-naked or—”
“All of your clothing stays on except your shorts and panties—these fishnets and your top is too hot to be taken off.”
Your wish will be fulfilled as her fingers starts to get a grip on the hem of her glittery, black short and with one, swift motion, it was now down to her ankles and you were revealed with a black thong that perfectly complimented her curves and as the cherry on top, her perfect, pink pussylips on display with just the thin fabric refraining you to see it whole. It didn’t last that long as she stripped her thong a second after, revealing such a scrumptious sight of her glistening pussy, full of arousal. Now bending over, and almost sitting at the sink, she spreads her legs to give you a better view of such pristine and beautiful art as it makes your member twitch inside your clothed prison.
“See how wet I am, darling? That’s because of you and no one else. It’s not fair for me to just show off mine and not yours—come on baby, strip for me.”
She then faces you again, and it’s a must: you don’t want her to grow impatient as your hands quickly course its way onto the button of your pants yet you ask her like what she did earlier. “Do you like me fully-naked or—”
“Whatever you want, darling. I just wanna see that cock raging and throbbing for me—go on, do it.”
You can literally see the need in Chaeryeong’s eyes when she said those words—she meant it and she wants to see what you’re packing too. You wanted to be on par in terms of the stage of nakedness with Chaeryeong, settled with just your bottom-half stripped away from its clothed prison as you swiftly removed the chains that had been shackling the feral beast inside you. With each second that’s passing, Chaeryeong eyes your every movement, with a finger in her lip, biting it as your iron walls goes down one by one, and when it’s finally the last one, her eyes fixated onto your member and immediately, you yanked your boxers off, falling on your ankles as she’s meet with your fully-erect member.
“Oh—fuck, that’s a good, fucking cock right there. Holy shit—that alone makes me want to suck and gag on it.”
“But you said you’d let me choose, right?”
Well, she said that and speaking of that, she offered you what could be the best memory you could attain in your whole life. With Chaeryeong still halfly-sitting on the concrete sink, she seduces you with her sultry voice and utters, “You’re damn right—so what’s it going to be, hm? Would you want it balls-deep inside this tight, juicy cunt that has been wet since you’ve made me horny earlier?” Her dainty fingers reach to her labia and then teased onto her wet folds, letting you anticipate and think further ahead;
“Or would you want to gag me and fuck my face like a fleshlight you could never buy—for sure, you’ll feel fucking good when I lay my lips onto this beautiful cock—” Chaeryeong points at her mouth as she licks her lips and gave you an inviting look to further indulge to your primal desires;
“Or would you want it inside my tight, snug hole where my tightness is unparalleled and you’ll spank me hard in each thrust you do—” God, Chaeryeong really knows how to invite you in the most seductive, arousing and persuasive way possible. All options are optimal as you wanted to try them all but your heart shines onto one thing and that thing only: the curvature of her ass and the puckered hole presented on your view as your cock twitched uncontrollably once she invited you onto her own anal kingdom. Knowing that it;s the obvious winner and your need to really pound her ass until she submits onto pure lust and cock-drunk—it’s only a matter of time before it really becomes a reality: a will to succumb and dive into your long-awaited desires of lust.
“I’d like it up your ass, Chaeryeong—your ass would feel—” You inch closer, your hands palming the circumference of her cheeks as you initiated a slap, “—fucking incredible, I guess.”
Well, you might not even need to guess to know if her walls would feel euphoric but you could never be so sure. Chaeryeong cocks an eyebrow at you as she is confident with what she’s about to take yet she prepares herself for the main event. “There’s no way this big cock’s gonna fit all inside my ass—god, you’re really gonna go for it huh?”
“Who wouldn’t be? Now turn around for me and bend over.” It was all quick and you’re taking the risk—Chaeryeong expected it from the beginning because on the way you eye her ass, she knows that’s going to be your endgame but she never thought that you’ll really go for it. She didn’t argue not to retaliate as she’s done what she’s been told, quickly swiveling her figure and bending over the sink as the coldness of the concrete made her yelp a little but she didn’t care.
“Do you have any lube, Chaery? ‘Cause I—”
“Check the front zipper of my bag, it should be there—t-the small bottle with the white tip.” And you were amazed that she’s prepared and ready, as it almost feels like she planned this all along—maybe she did, but you could never be so sure. You then grabbed her bag and got the lube after a few seconds of finding, Chaeryeong then letting out a deep breath as she relaxed herself on what she’s about to take, taking a firm grip onto the ends of the concrete sink. 
“So naughty having these things ready, huh, Chaery?”
You squeeze a dollop on the bottle as a favorable amount gets released, and you lathered your fingers around it. You then directed your fingers onto the hot rim of her asshole, making her moan between her words as it felt electrifying. “I guess you’ll never know—ooh, I love your fingers teasing m-me—ahh, so good!” 
You continue teasing her puckered hole as it clenches every time your fingers meet it, feeling aroused with the sight of the hole being pleasured by you. An unholy sound escapes Chaeryeong’s lips as you insert your index finger inside her snug walls, moving so sluggish with the thrusts you’re ensuing and wanting more. You pleasure her anally with even the slightest of events even happening inside it, what more wonders you can do once you’ve inserted your whole length inside her walls. You continue your anal fingering up in her ass as she can’t help but let out such erotic moans that it becomes a norm once you move your fingers in a bobbing motion. You twist, circle, withdraw, slam back in, vibrate and it repeats like a cycle, your actions aiming to give Chaeryeong the tease of her lifetime and in order to get her hole ready enough for an absolutely mindless gaping.
“Y-Your finger—up in m-my ass—oh god, i-it’s so good—-so, so fucking good!”
Chaeryeong couldn’t contain her moans as her needs are going absolutely out of hand, herself getting unhinged with the moment your fingers a knuckle-deep, lathering her walls with lube. With this hot scene being started because of you, her hands directly went to her glistening pussy as she tries to finger herself but your other hand stopped her, not wanting her needs to be fulfilled as yours should be attended first, not hers—it’s such a great time to have the higher authority.
“No—I’ll do the rest. Just relax yourself Chaery—god, your ass is so tight with even just my fingers, what more if my cock’s inside this?” You initiated another harsh spank while fingerfucking her ass, which earns the most erotic and hottest moans imaginable on this planet. That alone further ignites the flames of your ruthless teasing, but you can’t help but think of your temptations too, lying low onto the edge of the cliff waiting for someone to pay attention to them and it’s not going to be long until the climax of the show comes off to a start. Now lathering a copious amount of lube onto your shaft and spreading it, from base to tip, you know it’s about to be world-breaking once you feel her tight walls and knowing Chaeryeong is more than ready, you didn’t hesitate to set yourself closer to the promised land.
Without hesitation, you tease your engorged tip onto the rim of her seeking heat as she relaxes her anal muscles to aid for your comfort but it was just too impossible to not feel her utter tightness. Even with just the tip inside, Chaeryeong can’t help but let out her own profanities as your cock is just too pleasurable for her to handle. You tell Chaeryeong to relax herself and let your whole length discover new lengths of her velvety walls and she does so, but you can’t deny the peak tightness her ass is giving and god, it’s too euphoric to be felt as you savor every moment possible. 
“God—you’re so fucking tight, Chaery—damn, I’ll make sure you’re going leave out of restroom with a gaped hole and a load dripping down your thighs—s-shit, you’re so tight!”
“O-Oh g-god—gahh—baby, y-you’re so big—just k-keep it all the way in! Oh my fucking god!”
Mutual compliments and involuntary responses is a norm once you've felt each others’ touch as you find yourself relaxing even more, making room for you to plunge your whole length deeper. As you reach new depths of her snug walls, groans of pain and pleasure escape both your sinful mouths as Chaeryeong gets acquainted with the profound length of your whole cock, being buried down to the hilt. Once you’ve filled your entire length inside her, Chaeryeong didn’t let you thrust in for a while as she’s trying to be accustomed to your entire length that’s bound to break her in half on what you have in store.
Yet within seconds, she can’t resist the utter temptation that’s been consuming her earlier, unable to control it and let yourself be the man who will write this down in the history books.
And then, she snaps and lets her carnal desires win, “Now fuck me with everything you can, baby.”
Given the green light, you muster up the built-in energy that has been hibernating all through you and produced such an incredible pace to start this anal session. Chaeryeong’s composition and attunement of moans becomes a newly-profound act that blesses your ears and propels your hips to do such unstoppable thrusts. Gripping her hips for a better leverage, you fuck her in a pace that’s moderate yet every withdrawal with only the tip inside, and then the slamming of your pelvis and filling her up to hilt is hard—it’s so hard that it’s capable to produce such resonating sounds between the frequent clashing of both your bodies. Sounds of broken melodies can be heard around the restroom as inevitable, Chaeryeong drips like a waterfall in every thrust you do, forming a puddle on the marble floor which even fuels you more and arouses you into oblivion. With your hard thrusts, adding a remarkable element that’s poignant in her own view would be a sight to see. So, with that being said, you introduce such hard spanks in every oscillation you do and it just makes the devil inside you lure onto your absolute villainous desires—and it’s breaking you over the limit but you can just find yourself diving into the abyss deeper.
You could just find yourself onto the goal of breaking her apart and make her a tumultuous, whimpering mess and that’s what you need to make her to be at this given moment. You could never muster up a breakneck pace with her marvelous tightness yet you’re capable of mustering such harsh thrusts that everytime your bodies meets, it feels like titans had clashed against each others as the sound emits the epitome of sex and the jiggling of her thighs becomes an hypnotic sight. Every spank you do to her now rosy buttcheeks makes her snug walls clench harder, which makes her even tighter and that feeling is bittersweet—thanks to the lube, everything is just better and much easier. 
“Is this what you wanted, hm, Chaery? For your ass to get fucked like a fucking whore in this restroom and then drip like a broken faucet? Shit—you’re goddamn tight still—fuck!!”
“I w-wanted this for—ahh, fuck—s-so long! Pound m-me harder—o-open me and use me!”
Even with such harsh hammerings of your entire length inside her asshole, you still can't fathom how she’s still absurdly tight as it just surprises you that her walls grip like there’s no tomorrow, suffocating the entirety of your member in each thrust you ensue. She’s now being fully submitted onto submissiveness as she falls under the control of you as she’s now absolutely being drowned in the sea of lust and pleasure, absolutely in no man’s land as she tends to be lost in it. You tend to caress her porcelain skin while maintaining an incredible pace of thrusts, and then surprising her with an immediate spank which earns the most beautiful plethora of moans known to man. Your spanks became prominent to the point that Chaeryeong whines uncontrollably without your hand harshly landing a spank on her already red-hued buttcheeks. 
Knowing how Chaeryeong’s stimulation is now at an all-time high, you let down your guard and give her mercy as your fingers start swiping down her needy cunt and inserting it inside the velvety heat of her walls. In response, Chaeryeong lets out a cry (can be defined as scream because of how loud and high-pitched it is) as she voices out the marvelous quality of pleasure that has been coursing down her veins. With the harsh onslaught of hard thrusts that you’re giving her and your constant fingering of her wet folds, it didn’t take long for Chaeryeong to achieve her long-awaited orgasm as the constant clenching of both holes makes it evident, another dam bound to break and go loose.
“Oh god—baby, I’m—I’m g-going to cum!!”
“Damn, Chaeryeong—you’re going to cum with your ass getting fucked? Don’t worry, I’ll fulfill your wants right now…”
The prophecy should be fulfilled, and with your incredible acts of stimulation, Chaeryeong breaks loose as she sprays all over the marbled tiles of the sink and some on the floor, marking her earth-thudding orgasm of the day as you didn’t slow down nor get bothered to be concerned with her—Chaeryeong herself even begged for you to keep fucking her ass while she’s in a transcending state of bliss and you did just that. With the given scene of her cumming, it got you more riled up and aroused that you couldn’t contain the lust that has been inside you, shackled from its confines. Even with the cock-drunken Chaeryeong, she helped you achieve your own high by fucking herself onto your raging length and you can just find yourself in the paramount of happiness and there’s nothing you can ask for. 
Now with the blissful event coming onto a near close, you wanted to savor and make the best out of this. So, you immediately commanded her to take her hands off the sink and place it at the back of her waist and suddenly, she obliged onto your command and did it as you wrapped your hands around it and you made that as a leverage onto a mindless fuckery. You overdo yourself with your recent masterclass, further ramming in your hips into her snug hole and aiming to gape her open until you’re filling her up to the hilt. At this point, Chaeryeong is just in a pure state of bliss and incoherent to articulate such words yet she still manages to encourage you to cum sooner as she wants it for so long and she doesn’t need to wait further because it’s coming near.
“Come o-on—oh fuck—cum i-in my slutty, t-tight assho—le—fuck, just c-cum in please! Please, oh f-fuck!”
Giving her the last, few hard thrusts, you bury your entire length in her as you spray such copious amounts of semen that painted every inch of her anal walls white. Wanting to extend the orgasm, your hips oscillate more thrusts until you grow sensitive and then stop, your entire length just buried inside her ass and refusing to pull out. 
Yet there’s no way you can stay inside her forever even though you want to. So, you slowly pulled out with all of the strength you have as it’s so unbearably tight that you thought it would be possible to pull out of her snug hole. You took a moment to appreciate her completely gaped asshole, your cum oozing out of it as it slowly drips down to her thighs due to the vast volume of it. 
Guess rearranging her guts to the fullest and making her legs almost viable to give out is such a dream, and would want to live here forever.
“Congratulations, the both of you cheated against each other—hah~ you came a lot in me—oh…”
You don’t know whether you’ll be delighted or vexed with that though, yet you feel an immense amount of joy after having a rough, anal fucking with an incredibly hot girl named Lee Chaeryeong. 
“Yah—stop mentioning her but—god, that was good, Chaery…” You let out exasperated breaths as you can see Chaeryeong is doing the same, but she painted a satisfied grin onto the mirror before facing down and letting out more breaths. The both of you rushed to fix yourselves and dress up as you two completely forgot that you’re still in a public place and wanting to get out of this filthy, sinful place. After that, Chaeryeong pulls your wrist as you face her, giving an interesting look as you anticipate what she will say.
“Hey, give me your phone.”
“Why?” You reach out on your phone at your jacket as she grabs it swiftly, carefully tapping onto your phone as she answers, “I’m going to give you my number—you seem like an interesting guy.”
When she’s done, she gave it to you with a sincere smile on her face but it doesn’t end just like that, and gave her phone to you to enter yours so the both of you will now have contacts towards each other. You press multiple buttons while you hubristically talk with her, “You’re a nice girl too, Chaery—” You then give her phone back, not without a faint smile that emanates delight around the room. “—and thanks for the treat…”
Chaeryeong scoffs as she gets shy again, yet her eyes tell you how much she’s thankful for you. “Thanks too—you’re such a great fuck.” Chaeryeong then fixes her things and herself as she mutters one thing before leaving with you, “I’ll be expecting you tomorrow, at this bar, around 4 P.M., okay? I gotta get to know you better and hopefully you sort things out with her and leave that douchebag, okay?”
Your heart struck like you won a lottery and her boldness, fuck, you think that she’s really the perfect one for you and this is maybe the endeavor you’ve been looking for—and it’s just getting started.
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sashi-ya · 2 months
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a valentine's mini story 𝑻𝑹𝑼𝑻𝑯 𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑼𝑴 trafalgar law x f! reader
🩰 tw: a soft sfw story. spoilers from the last anime episode (not manga). happy valentine's day! 💕 🦢 wc: 923
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“I LOVE YOU; I LOVE YOU; I LOVE YOU (NAME)-YA!” “ME???”
If there is something Law has passed are different types of “illnesses”; from amber lead to being feminized against his will. Now, as if that wasn’t enough, the truth serum had been injected into his body and his lips couldn’t get sealed any longer.
Your kneels hit the ground, with widen orbs and opened mouth.
“What- what did you gave him?!” you scream, kicking and trying to be let go. Just two people have fooled you two, and now you are taken hostage by a guy of who knows how many meters tall.
The era of piracy is so full of this random -and annoying- devil fruit users that sometimes it can take you by surprise. Today, was the day a couple of unknown pirates decided to mess with you two.
“Oh, just the Truth Serum. Isn’t it amazing? This fruit came to me like a gift of the Gods!” a lady, quite peculiar, laughs loudly at her victim. Who could have said someone that powerful like Trafalgar Law could be defeated so easily?
Her filthy hand grazes Law’s forehead. He is drenched in sweat, also kneeling down. He is desperate to help you, but her unstoppable tongue can’t stop saying how much he loves you.
And that, to you -but probably not for the rest of the crew if they were there - is surprising.
“He seems to love you, mh? Such good timing for Valentines! Well, then, in order to spare her life, he will cooperate… right? You have those Poneglyph right?” that villainess says, slapping Law’s cheek.
Law feels miserable and absolutely embarrassed; not even his strong Haki can undo the spell of such stupid fruit ability. Or maybe it is also relieving to finally confess to you?  
“Law, don’t- don’t worry- I’ll be fine! Don’t give her shit!” you scream, looking away. You, who are also deeply in love with him but never confessed, can’t look him in the eyes.
“No, I won’t let them touch you any longer. You are mine! I won’t let them hurt you!” he shouts, desperate. Never -and probably ever again- you will hear those words being screamed into the world like the public statement of pure romance.
You dare to cross sights with him, even if in pain as that brute is holding you like a kitten by your shirt collar up in the air. Your gazes are so intense, the world around seems to disappear for a moment. Why it has to be in this situation?
“Law! I am in l-!”
You take a big gasp of air, and when your tongue begins moving, ready to give him your own confession… something happens.
“HAYAAAAAAH!!!”
A big ball of white fur covered in bright orange suit appears to save the day; a strong kick to the back of that villain sends her flying away. Law has enough time to break himself the spell, as well as using a little rock to exchange your body for it.
It doesn’t take much more for Penguin and Shachi to give Law his beloved Kikkoku; a blade he uses to slash -but not hurt- both attackers. They both ask themselves why their heads are floating around detached from their necks, but that’s just a little taste of what it means to mess with a man like him.
Soon enough, and to your amusement, his arm surrounds your waist and quickly he runs away from “the scene”.
A coward? Not really. There was something Law needed to do, now that the truth has seen the light.
“L-Law? Are- are you ok? Stop. Stop!” you demand, asking for him to put you on your feet.
He tries to find the farthest spot; the secluded place possible. It’s enough with you listening to his “pathetic” confession -and the rest of the island too.-
When he finally puts you down, his inked hands run through all of your body. He needs to make sure you are fine. You are, indeed, more than fine… you have just realized he loves you as much as you love him.
“Scan!” he takes Kikkoku to asses your body in depth, but your hand intercepts him from doing so.
“Stop…” you sigh. Again, and as always, he is searching for every single way to avoid speaking about his feelings. “Law… it’s ok, I- I do feel the same…” you murmur, softly pushing the hilt of his katana down.
Law takes a deep breath. He can’t run away. Or he can?
The surgeon ponders the possibility of escaping from there. But wasn’t for his own body acting on behalf of his love, he might have probably done it. Luckily, his hand reaches your cheek, and his feet walk towards you.
“I love you too, Law” you repeat, looking down but still enjoying the delicate touch of his hand. A touch that migrates from cheek to your chin, lifting your head up to encounter your lips with his.
“I didn’t plan for this to go this way, (Name)-ya. I had flowers prepared for tonight… I really planned on confessing tonight; it’s just that my plans always get ruined”
“My sweat Law, when will they let you plan in peace? Did the kiss part came into the original plan?” you ask, coming even closer to his lips.  
“No… I- I actually didn’t think you could-“
“My bad, it seems I am also going to ruin your plans this time. Now please, kiss me and never let me go”
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virgolixx · 7 months
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Head cannon:
:How would these one piece men react to their S/O getting badly injured on the battle field:
Sanji, Ace, Eustass, law
Theme: Angst
⚠️Warnings: Mentions of near death/harm
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Sanji:
The moment Sanji would see you wounded from your opponent’s sword he would defeat his own opponents in an instant and would practically fly to your side, kicking your own opponent across the battle field with such force causing the person to get knocked out unconscious.
Sanji would drop to his knees and hold you close on his lap, trying to hold back his tears, he would be yelling for chopper to help you.
Once chopper is helping you Sanji would stay close by to protect you and chopper, guarding that no other damn ass hole would touch or hurt you again.
Even after you are patched up and will make a recovery. Sanji would still keep an eye on you from the battle field
After the battle Sanji would have you resting in bed until your fully recovered. He would cook you nutritional meals and would constantly give you kisses.
“Get better soon my love”
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Ace:
The moment ace sees you on the floor unconscious and bloody, after your opponent threw you through the wall. His once calm demeanor changes drastically, he faces your opponent with rage.
Ace burns your opponent to a crisp while the other opponents are either groaning in pain from the burns ace gave them or unconscious from the beating ace gave.
Once all those damn people are down for the count he calms down and rushes over to your side. Holding you in his arms he pushes your hair out of your face.
Ace would use his hand to clean away any dirt or blood from your face. Noticing you starting to wake up, ace smiles softly as he would pick you up.
“Hold on my flame, let’s go get you some help”.
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Eustass:
Eustass….this man would literally see red, absolutely rage mode, he’s killing everyone.
Either it be a small bump or if you are greatly injured by an opponent Eustass will get extremely mad and protect you with his life. (I just know Eustass has a soft spot just for their S/O, but he would never admit it).
After his rage he realizes killer is by your side trying to patch you up. Coming to the both of you Eustass drops to your side and holds you in his arms….(arm?)
Just like Sanji, Eustass will have you in bed throughout your entire recovery. Eustass allows you to cuddle him as much as you want. (Of course it’s only cause you’re hurt, duh, he totally doesn’t like cuddles 🙄🤣).
While busy with captain duties Eusstass has killer watching over, and to get you anything you may need.
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Law:
Law is frozen in place, absolutely shocked. You’ve been shot!! Thankfully in the shoulder, but that doesn’t ease law at all.
Before law goes into attack mode the first thing he thought was, ”I…please I can’t loose her to”.
As you’re about to continue fighting your opponent law flashes by and starts to attack your opponent and the opponent’s comrades with all his might.
Law freezes the moment he hears you yell his name. He looks at you then back at the opponents to see them all bloody and unconscious on the floor.
Sighing deeply as a way to calm down. Law then runs to you and checks your wound in a panic, stopping him you tell him that you’re fine. Law suddenly then hugs you semi tightly, his face in you neck.
Law speaks out to you, “I thought I lost you “Y/N”…….I… love you”. Shocked that Law is finally showing you his emotions, you hug him back and say, “I’m here love, I’m not going anywhere”.
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bonny-kookoo · 2 months
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Hey, I found Sweet Tooth and absolutely loved it.
I wanted to ask you if you'd write an intermediate scenario or something before she's warmed up to Yoongi, where she throws a tantrum and hurts herself, and they go to the doctor, where she overhears someone advising Jimin that it's totally normal to let go of a problematic hybrid or pet especially if your partner doesn't like them, and there are shelters that take them in?
And with her heightened Cat hearing it freaks her out into shutting her tantrums down long term - but jimin is oblivious to her fear because things are going so well with Yoongi?
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"So, just for protocol, how exactly did it happen?" A nurse asks, while you're being treated in another room, door slightly opened just in case she's needed at any point.
"She.. her living situation changed quite drastically. And she has trouble adapting." Jimin admits to her gently, tone soft to not be heard by you. "My partner and her.. don't get along very well. And she sometimes acts a bit out, which causes accidents like this." He further details, sighing. "They were fighting over something, and my partner accidentally closed the door on her tail as she went out. It was absolutely not intentional!"
"Hm, yeah, it's sometimes hard for hybrids to adapt. You also have another hybrid?" She asks, reading your medical info on the computer screen while she taps away some more info.
"Yes, my partner's. A canine hybrid." He informs her, and she nod.
"You know, it's a totally reasonable thing to think about moving one out." She suggests to jimin, who's face starts to become a little confused and irritated. "Giving her past history, she's a bit problematic, so her behavior is quite natural. There's tons of good places for hybrids like her though- since it's generally recommended to keep hybrids of both her category and behavioral issues in stable families as a single hybrid."
"Thats.. no, she's just.." jimin stammers, having never even thought about it once. But how are you feeling right now? Is he really doing the right thing, or is he just being selfish by hoping you'll adapt at some point?
And will you really adapt, or just admit defeat?
"I'll write down some numbers, alright? It's your choice to make." She suggests gently. He can sense that she really only has your best interest in mind. "This down here is Dr. Kim Taehyung, he's an expert in hybrid behavioral therapy. He might even take her in himself!" She suggests, before giving jimin the note. "Think about it."
He doesn't have to. He could never give you away like that.
Back home, something's definitely wrong though, ecer since that incident. You're quiet, detached, don't even interact with Jungkook anymore- the poor canine hybrid having tried everything from your favorite snacks to a collection of his personal favorite plushies. Nothing seems to get a reaction out of you anymore.
And what's the oddest, is how you just.. listen to whatever yoongi tells you to do.
Wash the dishes? You'll do it, quietly. You'll even dry them and put them away to your best abilities.
Make your bed? You even do laundry if he tells you to, even though you struggle to memorize all the different settings and programs.
Set the table? You'll just do it, robotically, not even a roll of your eyes.
One might think yoongi would enjoy this new, quiet side of you- but he doesn't. The guilt about accidentally hurting you that day still eats him alive, the sound of your painful cries still haunting him in his sleep.
Jimin, however, doesn't seem to realize the secerity of the situation. He tries to reassure his partner by saying that you'll just need some time, that hospitals just spook you, and that you maybe just want to be a good girl for once.
But Jungkook especially, is concerned. This isn't like you, and it's not a normal change of mind either. No one just flips around like a switch over night like that.
"I'll go to work now, yeah?" Jungkook tells you- but you just nod, no protest coming from you. Jungkook's ears droop down, tail limp behind him as he throws Yoongi a helpless look, before he leaves for work, leaving you and the oldest human alone in the house.
"Alright, I'm done with this." He says, and you look at him at that, fearful.
He hates it. Why are you scared of him?
"I promise you, I didn't mean to hurt you that day." Yoongi runs a hand through his hair, before he sits down on the couch next to you, with respectful distance. "I'm sorry. I really am."
"Its fine." You just state, but he shakes his head.
"Its not fine. Nothing is fine at all." He denies. "Is there anything else that happened? Something bothering you?" He asks, but you just shake your head. "If you don't want to talk to me, then talk to Jimi-"
"He wants to give me away." You say, pulling up your legs to yourself.
"...what?" Yoongi asks in disbelief. Jimin loves you- he'd never give you away- he'd probably much rather admit defeat in this relationship than give you up.
"The nurse and him.. talked about stuff." You mumble into your knees. "He got like.. she wrote down some numbers for him. One of them a doctor.. for behavior problems and stuff.." you explain, tail wrapping around yourself in comfort. "Because it's alright to give up shitty hybrids like me. You know." You shrug. "Cause I'm supposed to be alone."
"Thats bullshit." Yoongi declines, crossing his arms. "Everything about this. He'd never give you away, and neither are you shitty or supposed to be alone." He denies, getting up to get his phone- accidentally digging in the pockets of the wrong coat, fingers finding a note instead.
Three numbers. One of them labeled 'Dr. Kim Taehyung'
..are you possibly telling the truth? Does jimin really want to go this far just to save his relationship with him? He knows he should probably feel flattered. But he doesn't.
Not one bit.
"Its probably the best." You say from the couch still, looking over the backrest of it, ears down low. He's never seen you this.. insecure before. Vulnerable. "Then you'll all be happy. And maybe I can get fixed." You shrug, when Yoongi walks closer, hand on your head making you look up.
"There's nothing wrong with you." He denies, note clenched in his fist as he just crumples it up. "And you're not going to be alone." He says, walking upstairs into his office.
And you swear, just for a second, his eyes seemed to sparkle a little from unshed tears bubbling up.
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tihgnari · 9 months
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ꕤ 50. i think i ruined your PJs (ღ)
tw: none! :') / wc: 1.7k
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you stare at your phonescreen, watching it vibrate on the kitchen counter. your hands sweat, and your heart races, as you hesitate to answer his call, contemplating about what to say.
a door slams and thoma appears in front of you in an instant. paper bags of fast food left on the dining table. "what are you doing?" he says, eyeing the phone before staring back at you. "answer it al—"
the phone stops ringing, ayato's caller ID disappears, and it returns to your lock screen. the panic you feel is indescribable, and you defeatedly think of calling him back and saying sorry for being unable to answer his call the first time.
ayaka lets out a pained groan. "you both are absolutely impossible! why didn't you answer it?!"
"i was nervous! i don't know what to say—"
"just answer it already!" thoma exclaims with a frustrated expression similar to ayaka's.
you wanted to pull your hair. why can't you just woman up and answer it?! you grab your phone off the counter, irritated at yourself, as you snap back at thoma.
"well, i can't anymore. it stopped ringing!"
as if on cue, the phone lights up, vibrating in your hands as your heart drops once again at the sight of ayato's caller ID. thoma audibly gasps and hurriedly rounds the kitchen counter to grab your shoulders. "answer it! now!"
"alright!" you push his hands away before clearing your throat, trying to level your voice so he won't find out that you were 100% freaking out at his sudden call.
"hello?" you speak into the phone. after a few seconds, when no one answers, you hesitantly say. "…ayato?"
no one is speaking on the other end, you can't even detect faint breathing. you pull the phone away from your ear, checking to see if the call is still ongoing, and the increasing seconds displayed on your lock screen confirm that it is. why isn't he speaking? should i not have answered?
faintly, you hear thoma and ayaka's enthusiastic "what's he saying?" behind you, but you stay silent, waiting for him. you open your mouth, wanting to address the person on the other line once again, when—
"hey."
his voice sounds defeated as if he's been crying for hours. you knew he wasn't in a good state right now from the voice alone.
your cheeks heat up, and you grip the phone harder. "hey," you answer stupidly, dazed and running on autopilot as you space out. every fiber and molecule of your being on edge as you give ayato your full attention.
you bite your lips, wanting to say a certain something to him after going weeks and weeks of not speaking to him. however, you held yourself back.
"i was thinking," ayato starts. "maybe you'd like to talk? you know… about everything?"
a small smile appears on your face, and you unconsciously nod even if he won't see you.
"i'd love to."
"are you really sure you guys don't wanna come up with me?" you ask ayaka, who sits behind the wheel in her white lexus and thoma in the back seat. you three are at the parking lot of the hotel ayato told you where he was staying.
he initially asked where you were so he could come to you, but after thorough persuasion, he relented on you going to him instead.
ayaka takes off her seat belt. "we're sure. he only asked to see you."
"just update us about how he's been. we'll wait for you here." thoma says.
you nod, stepping out of the car and walking toward the elevator. you met eyes with a woman at the front desk. she bows to you, a customer-service smile on her face, as she approaches you. ayato says he'd ring the front desk, so you can just come straight to his suite. the woman follows you to the elevator and taps the key card into a scanner before pressing a certain floor. whether or not she recognizes you, she doesn't say nor make it noticeable as she turns her heel back to the front desk.
you chew on your bottom lip, emotions running at an all-time high. you don't even notice the popping sensation in your ears as the floors get higher, your mind preoccupied with what you'll say to him, how you'll act. after all, the last proper conversation you had with him was back at their hospital's VIP room—which is weeks ago, give or take, and it did not even end well.
the elevator dings! and the doors open, sealing your fate.
there were only three rooms on this floor, and ayato instructed you to make two lefts to get to his room at the end of the hallway. the carpet is spotless, and your dirty white sneakers look so out of place as you make your way to his suite. just as you raise your hand to ring the doorbell, the door swings open, and there stands before you in all his glory—
"ayato," you say, dumbstruck. you don't notice how he is in mismatched silk pajamas, nor how a few of his hair stands on weird angles; you see his already pale skin that looks paler than usual and the bags under his tired eyes.
"yn—hey," he says, just as dazed as you. as if he can't believe you're actually standing before him right now. "uhm, come in."
the first thing you see is the thick white curtains hiding the floor-to-ceiling windows, blocking out the skies' magnificent orange and yellow hues as the sun has begun to set. the suite looked much like any other hotel room, only it looked fancier and more luxurious with its white marble accents paired with wooden furniture. the living room is well-lit, and from where you're standing, the sliding door to the bedroom is open, allowing you a slight peak.
you see a leather bag open on the lamp desk, chargers, and other necessities placed haphazardly around it. one of his carry-on is sprawled open on the floor behind the bed, while the rest is zipped shut at the far corner of the room, looking untouched.
"so—"
"yn—"
you both speak at the same time. he meets your eyes sheepishly, letting out a small laugh, a hand rubbing the nape of his neck sheepishly. "ladies first," he insists, and you don't argue.
"when did you fly back? seems to me you've been here for a few days now," you say, looking around. "i thought for sure you were still in another country."
"oh, i flew back a day after the wedding."
you nodded understandingly.
silence surrounds you both until ayato breaks it.
"would you like anything to drink or eat? i can order room service."
you smile, "a glass of water would be fine."
"alright, take a seat."
so you settle yourself on the plush sofa as he disappears in the kitchen for a few minutes before coming back to place your water on the low coffee table. you expected him to sit nearer to you, however he sits on the sofa across from you, and a frown tugs at your lips until you remember he's just being cautious. you guys did end on a bad note…
when your eyes meet, he shoots you a small smile as he nods. giving you the opportunity to speak first.
"well, i wanna start by saying i'm sorry," you interlace your fingers together on your lap. "for deceiving you. you definitely did not deserve that, i just got so scared—that i'd lose ayaka, and what your reaction would be if you found out… which you did, still."
ayato hums. "i understand your point, with ayaka. however i'm still quite hurt with our dates, as i did put my utmost time and effort into them," a solemn tone takes over his voice, and you can feel your heart breaking. "i would've accepted a proper rejection. i know how to respect a woman's decision."
"no." you answer in a heartbeat. "look, i know sabotaging our dates can possibly come off as me not reciprocating your feelings but that was just me making bad decisions."
ayato blinks, dumb founded. it takes time for him to properly start speaking. "i'm afraid i'm not following…?"
you sigh, not really knowing what to say—well, technically, you knew what to say, you just didn't know how.
well, might as well bite the bullet and blurt it out.
"i like you, ayato. i like you so much, even if i know i don't deserve you. because… because…" you didn't know you were crying, attention focused on the man in front of you to even notice the wetness of your cheeks.
your throat feels clogged up, and you choke on your words, unable to carry their weight. "i know how much i hurt you. i lied to you and didn't even stop to think about what you could've felt, i completely disregarded your efforts, and i was selfish. so i get it, when you told… told me that you shouldn't have liked me because i wouldn't… wouldn't like someone like me either —"
his scent engulfs you whole as he pulls you into an embrace. you feel a slight tremble in his hands as he firmly holds onto you, almost as if making it a confirmation if you truly were in between his arms. you break down in front of someone for the first time in weeks, your mind playing flashbacks of how you had to stifle your crying in the bathroom so ayaka won't hear.
it was as if a dam broke, and you couldn't stop your tears from cascading down your cheeks. you didn't know what you were crying about — you can't exactly pinpoint if it was because of this concrete fear of nearly losing ayato, of the harsh criticisms of the public, or you were just so overjoyed to be in his arms without having to worry about anyone or anything.
despite all the snot and tears you're probably getting on his expensive pajamas, ayato holds you tight, gently rocking you back and forth because he knew, he just knew, that his silent presence can comfort you more than his words at that exact moment.
after you have calmed down, resorting to small sniffles every now and then, did you decide to pull away. not completely, just enough to meet his gentle eyes. he smiles, tilting his head. "do you feel better?"
you nod slightly, shame suddenly washing over you.
"i'm sorry, i think i ruined your PJs."
"oh, these?" he shrugs his shoulder, laughing. "i have ten more sets of these, and you can cry on each and every single one of them if you want to."
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LOWKEY » previous : masterlist : next
a kamisato ayato social media au
summary — it was only recently you found out kamisato ayaka was, in fact, not an only child after all! seeing ayato for the first time gave you the severest case of the butterflies but according to ayaka, he’s off limits, especially to you as her most treasured friend. well, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt, right?
notes — the end lol jk
🏷 i. @rinrinchin @nejibot @viiolettee @katsumikumo @starryeyedkoko @xingqiusliegee @boxdisappeared @lovelyycherries @love6cks @kiyowoir @luvvmeilin @blackberri-jelli @moonlightbqe @kazooms @tricethecharm @lynnforever @kaedear @xiaoisahawtie @crowbird @apotatouwu @xinii @euryrue @aequha​@nuttytani @plinkuro @aixaingela @milesluvrrad @windasteriaa @cherrytomato2 @zannivrs @eishtar @wccycc @ceylestia @sweet-almonds @queenaveryrules @veyu002 @ukinya @adeptusx @x-xxiaos @loveyoutothestars @ssalamanderr
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kingminie · 3 months
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until forever falls apart | 01.
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pairing: kim taehyung, reader 
genre: angst, exes au. 
warnings: emotional cheating, infidelity, swearing, detailed smut, chain smoking as a coping mechanism.
word count: 11.8k
description: you’ve never been much of a believer in the phrase ‘first love never dies’ but it seems as if the universe badly wants to prove it to you — and you’re absolutely and royally damned the moment you find out that the phrase holds truth. 
or alternatively, you come as a stand-in photographer for your cousin’s prenup shoot and you find out that it’s your secret ex who’s about to get married, and kim taehyung really doesn’t make it any less easy for you. 
01 | ongoing.
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Love has always been easy for you — both falling into or getting out of it, but more of the latter, really. 
However, there are things about this so-called ‘love’ that you don’t quite get — will probably never get — and it leaves you in a sticky position when friends come to ask advice that roots from such a concept.
It always ends in a snotty mess and a sigh of I don’t know why I came to you for this at the end anyway. It makes you feel like shit; a clueless, ignorant, wondering piece of shit because how is it that everyone seems to have been looking at love and defining it from a single different lens with a unified perspective, and you’re stuck at seeing it from the other endpoint.
It isn’t your fault you don’t assimilate hurt with loving, is it? It isn’t your fault that you don’t expect to clean up a colossal mess every time love comes to its end. And it most certainly isn’t your fault that when love ends, you let it go. It ended, and that’s that. For you, anyway. So, why exactly, do people fault you for having such a reaction at the conclusion of a relationship?
Why does it seem to be a taboo and something that’s unheard of when a month after a relationship ends, you find yourself not grieving over a love that’s lost? When and why does it seem to have become the standard to mope and pine and cry as if acceptance and moving on is an outlawed concept right after a relationship ends?
That’s because you’re a heartless, unfeeling bastard, that’s why, as your best friend, Jungkook, so likes to put it every single time. And maybe, it is the defeat and the eventual acceptance that people will never see things in your perspective that you just roll your eyes and move on with your day. 
Love, for you, is something that ends when it ends. A wound that closes, heals. It leaves a scar, sure. You remember the hurt, yes. But the initial peak of pain wouldn’t be there again if it healed, would it.
With all that, you’ve become unsure — of what to do, of what to say, of how to act — when people lament over a lost love. Which, at this very moment, is what exactly your sister is doing. 
All tears, snot, and hiccups under your blankets. 
Sobs wrack her body in an uncontrollable shake, a vibrating mess under the sheets as you’re left to wonder what the fuck to do with your hands. But you never get the answer because she wails, head lifting from the blankets, “How could he do that to me? Six years, six years! Six years he threw away for what, a year of meaningless sex with his assistant?” 
You don’t really think it’s meaningless when dear, dear respectable Hyunwoo decides to break off the engagement, but you keep your mouth shut and continue to awkwardly pat your sister’s back. 
Your hand stills just an inch away from her back when she looks at you, wet eyes and mouth set in a downward curve, and whispers, “What should I do now?” She sniffles and you flinch. Because her goddamn snot is staining your bed but fuck, okay, you can’t think about that now, “I love him.”
You hesitate, weighing the words you’re about to speak in your head and thinking about the consequences before settling for a question, “You–you’re not thinking about giving him another shot if he asks for it, are you?” 
At this, your sister remains silent and you sigh because yes, yes she will give him a chance in one heartbeat if the bastard do so much as give her a fucking petal and a printed ‘I’m sorry’ hallmark note.
“You don’t get it.” 
Ah, there it is. 
Of course, it’s always going to come down to you not getting it. 
Maybe your sister sees it, the anger bubbling in your gaze as you glare at her, because she scrambles to sit down with her legs underneath her, knees parallel each other as she kneels on the bed facing you.
And it would have been funny, seeing your older sister like this, but the searing exasperation breaks through and you let it, mouth opening, “No, you don’t get it. See, this is not just a matter of moving the fuck on. He fucked you over, Hana, so much that there’s no amount of apology or groveling he can do to fix that. He fucked his assistant when he’s due to walk down the aisle in a year with you and if that doesn’t spell out how much respect he has for you, for our family, and you still choose to remain blind despite that, then you came to the wrong person because I won’t coddle you.” 
“I care about you,” your voice softens and you see her shoulders slump, “This is not just about my once-it-ends-then-it-ends view on relationships. Hyunwoo did an unthinkable, unforgivable thing and there’s no going back from that. I’m not letting you walk back to the person who lacks respect for a relationship, much less for you. Do you get where I’m coming from?” 
Hana nods meekly, head hanging low before you hear her sniffle once more. It hurts to see her like this and you want nothing more but to pummel the son of a bitch who did this to her, “I’m sorry.” 
You shake your head and you let out a breath, all air knocked out from your lungs when she slumps forward, arms snaking around your shoulders as she pulls you in for a tight hug, the phrase of ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’ a litany on her tongue.  You squeak as her legs slither their way around you in a tight grip and she lets out a weak laugh that sounded much more like a wheeze before you push her off, feeling a wet blot on your shoulder. 
“I want to be you for a day. Not like you,” she mutters as she gets comfortable on the pillows, your pillows, “But be you entirely. I want this pain to vanish in a week and just forget about him.” 
She pauses, “Maybe after I key his car.” 
The pain doesn’t vanish, you think and tell her. “I just learned how to deal with it, Hana. And it isn’t overnight that I do it. And you will get over it too. Heal from it. Someday, one day.” 
The silence that follows is comforting, and you think she must’ve fallen asleep, just as most do after a good cry. But she hasn’t, you realize, when she rolls over once more and speaks in a quiet voice, “The way you are right now,” she pauses, only continuing when you give her a nod, “is it because of him?”
There are only a handful of people that could fit about who she means, you know that, but you refuse to speak of any of them and opt to ask her a question instead, “Which way that I am exactly are you referring to?” 
“The closed-off you,” Hana replies, a soft tilt to her words, “I had a theory, you know, that you moved on so fast from the relationships you had after because you were never really invested in the people after him. That he broke you, enough for you to place that, whatever you have around your heart that doesn’t allow people to hurt you. You love other people, but you never really allow them to love you as much because of it which makes detachment and parting easier when it ends.” 
You don’t really mean to, but the words Hana speaks are like a vacuum, drawing you into a place you’ve managed to tuck away in the very back of your mind. Memories rush in and you drown in it — of honey blond hair, rectangle smiles, and skin that smelled of oakmoss and jasmine. 
“Am I right?” 
You let out a laugh as you nudge a pillow towards your sister, “You and your unending theories. No, Hana. It’s not because of anyone in particular. This is just how I am, how I think. It’s just unfortunate that it's only the minority that shares the same sentiments as I do.” 
Hana looks as if she’d try to refute before deciding against it, groaning when her phone rings and you raise an eyebrow because who in hell would be calling her at midnight. She shakes her head, twisting the phone around so you can see who’s calling and you see the word Studio and you shrug before she takes the call, only hearing snippets of the conversation and it seems as if it's about work. 
Hana owns a photography studio — a hobby turned business venture with her friends. Your parents were against it initially, deeming it a ‘not suitable’ business for Hana, but your older sister is a head-strong bull and proceeded with her plans without a single support from your parents and of course, because she’s Hana Park, she can make anything succeed if she puts her mind to it. 
“—yeah, you goof, I’ll be right there, don’t worry. Why are you so stressed about this anyway, is this your secret wedding or something?” You lie closer to your sister and she mouths ‘Jimin’ before returning to picking her nails, “I get it, okay. Stop freaking out, I promise to be there tomorrow. M’kay, bye.” 
She heaves a dragged-out, exaggerated sigh just as she tosses her phone on the bed where it bounced, “You know, I’d assume it’s our dear brother’s prenuptial photoshoot tomorrow with the way he’s freaking out over the details. I’d actually think that if I didn’t know of him and his single ass and his emotional attachment to his bachelor title.” 
“It’s Sunday tomorrow, and you’re booked because of that phone call,” You list, “So I can only assume Jimin knows one of them and used his connections to book your exclusive ass into working on a Sunday.” 
Hana laughs, “You’re not wrong. Soyeon made the reservation for November, which is like, a month from now. Jimin moved it for tomorrow in such a rush last week for reasons I don’t know why.” 
“Soyeon?” You gasp, eyes going wide, “You’re not talking about Yang Soyeon, are you? Oh my god, how did I not know about this?”
Your sister snorts, ungraceful and loud, “Who would have expected for the youngest cousin in the family to be the first one to be wed, huh? Date’s set for April next year and I don’t even know who she’s marrying,” But she pauses and a frown mars her features, “I would’ve been the first one to walk the aisle and yet, here I am.” 
Wait. 
“Hana,” you start, “aren’t you meeting Hyunwoo’s parents tomorrow for brunch? To formally call off the wedding? Isn’t that what you came here for tonight, because you were having second thoughts of actually calling it off tomorrow?”
You see the realization dawn upon her, her eyes widening in recognition of the planned confrontation, her mouth dropping to a comical shape of the letter ‘o’ before she sits up so fast you actually ask if her back’s okay and you hear the frantic hits of her nails against the glass of her phone, the worry leaking thickly in her voice as she speaks to multiple people, all of which ending in a frustrated sigh and groan from your older sister. 
“Fuck!” she screams as she disconnects from a call once more, “I can’t find anyone to replace me, everyone’s either booked already or have plans for tomorrow. Fuck, shit, I’m screwed. Jimin’s going to kill me. No photographer’s available tomorrow, what am I going to do now, I—you.”
You still, nailed in place by her stare, “Fuck are you looking at me for?” 
It’s in this moment you feel the doom coming down on you from all the corners of the universe when Hana smiles, actually feeling it that you shiver. She picks up the phone, calls Jimin, asks if 10 o’clock is okay for everyone to gather tomorrow, kisses your cheek good night. 
Kiss of fucking death, you feel like. 
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You’re never a morning person — nor do you have plans to become one — and you aren’t used to being awakened by a goddamn wet, slimy tongue licking your face all over. 
Hana’s laugh echoes around your room, followed by hushed good job from her and a shrill bark from her dog (you really did not know how Orion arrived here when the dog wasn’t even here last night), and you are never one to have thoughts of murder so early in the morning but your family has really been testing your limits. But then you remember that you willingly handed over to Hana the passcode to your apartment, something for emergencies and shit like that, but of course, she took it as an invitation to come and go as she pleases. 
Fortunately, she cleans up after Orion’s mess, thank god. 
Rolling over, you prepare to squint as protection against the glare of the sun since Hana had already pulled back the curtains, but you sit up at the lack of the sun’s intrusion into your eyes and see that the sun hasn’t even risen yet. The city that you can see through the glass window is quiet, still in deep sleep. As you should be just before Hana woke you up. 
“Dad’s going to have a fit when I tell him what you’re blackmailing me to do,” you groan, falling back on your pillow, “I’m running his business and here you are making me take photos of people Dad hates, well, by extension.”
Hana does nothing but flash you a grin, “You’re the only one I can trust to be on par with my skills, honey. Besides, I already have Dad booked in the freaking out area ‘cause you know, I’m a bachelorette now.”
You roll your eyes and you move off your bed, making it neat and tidy to which Hana scoffs before grabbing the mug of cold coffee right from her hands and chugging it all down. Looks like you’ll need more than a cup with what you’re going to be faced with today. 
“Is Jimin coming? My car’s in the mechanic, I’m getting it tomorrow.”
Hana nods before telling you just how far Jimin is from your apartment, “About Jimin, actually.” Your sister trails off and you feel an oncoming headache because of course, there’s more. 
“I didn't exactly tell him I can’t make it today so I’m trusting you to, um, calm him down when he freaks? He’s only weak to your charms and absolutely immune to mine.” 
Turns out a little while after that, Jimin’s absolutely immune to the both of you. Especially you.
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“No, what the fuck. What—no.” 
Jimin stands frozen, fingers gripping the edges of the kitchen island. His eyes are wide, mouth open in disbelief as he listens to Hana’s explanations of why she can’t go today, her eyes flashing as if to call you for help but you only shrug because there’s really nothing you can do to help her out of this. She made her own bed, might as well let her lie in it. 
It irks you quite a bit though when Jimin starts to become unreasonable despite Hana’s crystal clear explanation as to why she’s unavailable today, and on a typical day, you know Jimin would understand, and would easily let it go because obviously, Hana’s life matters take precedence over a photoshoot that can be scheduled on a different day. Jimin today, however, is extra adamant on not having you take over the shoot and it might have very, just very slightly struck the wrong nerve in you.
“You know, Jimin, if this is a matter of your trust in my abilities, I’d gladly back out of this. I’m doing this as a favor to Hana, I’m not here to help you,” you quip, tight and low as you regard the both of them, “So, if you refuse to accept my help, then call your friend to find another photographer, better yet schedule another one with Hana.”
Hana starts to protest but Jimin shakes his head, turns to you with soft eyes and a pouting set of lips, “I’m sorry, that came off wrong. Really wrong. I swear I wasn’t trying to undermine your abilities, nor am I saying that there is anything to undermine because you’re good as shit at this, maybe even better than Hana, it’s just that—”
He cuts off his ramble mid-sentence as if to catch himself — to keep from spilling whatever his reservation about you being the stand-in for Hana, which you don’t really know what. 
Three things about Jimin are these: he rambles when he’s extremely nervous, fidgets with his thumbs when he’s scared, and refuses to make any eye contact if he believes he’s done something wrong. It’s always one of the three when it comes to him and never altogether. And yet, he stands in front of you, doing all three simultaneously and your heart plummets to the marble flooring beneath you because what is he so scared of, really, to be like this in front of you. 
“Look, if you don’t want me to do this, that’s okay,” You start to speak and Jimin turns to you and opens his mouth to speak when you shake your head. You aren’t finished speaking, “That is, if you have an alternative, if Soyeon agrees to reschedule, I’m sure Hana can fit them right in some other time—” You give a pointed look at your sister who rolls her eyes but nods, “—but if they don’t, you have no choice, Jimin. Unless you want to take the photos yourself.”
Jimin lets out a breath, agrees, and proceeds to call whoever he needs to and converses in a low tone that isn’t discernible to you, but Hana can hear and your eyebrows furrow in concern when her head turns so fast towards Jimin’s direction, panic clear-cut in her eyes as she picks up on whatever it is that Jimin is saying. She curses under her breath, turns ghostly pale before she pulls Jimin into one of the guest rooms, leaving you to your thoughts and your second cup of coffee. 
“You kept this?”
It’s a good three minutes after that Jimin’s voice pulls you out of your trance — your attention previously held by the large black ant that is now on top of an apple. You turn and your breath hitches at the rough sketch of the overly-familiar Pomeranian in his right hand. You shrug, “Jungkook must have left it there when he came over.” 
At this, Jimin raises his eyebrows. Stares at the picture a little bit too long before putting it back in place, under Jungkook’s purple-pink painting of a sunset, to the right of Jimin’s present two years before. He then looks at you, really looks at you, that you become unnerved enough to look away and pretend to busy yourself with some imaginary dust on the counter. 
You know. You know how the framed sketch is too clean, too in place, and too taken care of to be something that your best friend accidentally left behind. And you know Jimin knows this too with the way his eyes turn to you and you fear. Fear that pity would be reflected in them and so you stand abruptly, deaf to the frantic calls of Hana and you head straight to the building basement and settle comfortably on the passenger seat of Jimin’s car. 
You ran because you’re a coward — afraid to face questions you know you have no answers to.
Jimin enters not a minute later, silent and mum, but the silent looks your sibling keeps giving you is not something you miss no matter how discreet he tries to be about it. You brush it off though, citing the tense atmosphere to be the reason he’s doing so. 
But little do you know that this is the first of the many mistakes you will be making — the tiniest among all others.
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The theme is simple. Glamour, editorial-esque Vogue-spread motif. Fit for the rich. Something that exudes elegance and opulence. Classy, simple, and elegant. You nod as you skim through the print-out Hana rushes to get to you through one of her employees, one hand busy writing ideas and suggestions. 
It warms your heart that despite all the things Hana has to face today, she hasn’t failed to make everything easier for you, as she always does. And everything’s in accordance, just as they should be. That is, except for one, someone. Jimin really cannot stop himself from shaking and you actually fear the poor boy is turning into a leaf, dancing in the wind, with how he physically cannot stop himself from moving. 
You’ve had enough of it — his nervous fidgeting, the frantic scan of his eyes among the crowd, the unending bounce of his knees — so you move to approach him, just in time to pluck out the cigarette he’s about to light in his hand and he jumps, “Minie, you’re making me nervous here. I’ve seen you nervous but it’s never been this bad.” 
Jimin looks at you and your chest constricts at the face he’s making. A beat, two beats before he lets out a shaky breath, “I’m sorry.”
You think of the exchange back at your apartment, the one where it came off as if he had no faith in you as Hana’s substitute and you let out a small laugh. You know Jimin would never think that. Flicking his chin, you shake your head, “It was me who took your words the wrong way, Min. You don’t need to apologize.”
He looks as if he wants to say more but a car pulls up, red and ostentatious with the way the roof is folded down, and you grin as you see your cousin, a matching upward curve to her lips. 
It isn’t new, really, when you catch sight of her hair — beautiful shades of cotton candy pink and pastel blue glinting under the sun. 
Beautiful, daring Soyeon, the darling of the Yangs. 
You nearly meet your end, though, that day if it isn’t for Jimin cursing and pulling you back when Soyeon isn’t able to stop her car at the designated yellow parking line and she too squeaks a wheeze when she steps on the brakes. The car comes to a stop, and you see her breath does too, before she throws her head back and laughs. 
“You’re fucking crazy.”
She sticks out her tongue before she jumps over the door, her flimsy taupe pants billowing after her. You only manage to let out a yelp of protest before she has you and Jimin in a bone-crushing hug and you feel your chest rasp to get some air in when she squeezes once more before finally letting go. 
“This is a two-people marriage we’re having today, right? You’re not marrying yourself here?” You ask and laugh as she rolls her eyes. It’s definitely her thing and it wouldn’t be a surprise if she did. “I didn’t even know you were in a relationship and now you’re getting married?”
She shrugs, a wide smile still on her lips, “It just happened,” Her eyebrows furrow when she looks over at Jimin who’s uncharacteristically silent and nudges him, “I still won’t forgive you. I know my groom’s your best friend but it doesn’t really give you a free-pass to have him here at six in the morning to get you coffee. Who does that?”
You don’t really hear what Jimin has to say to her because you’re bidding your goodbye to them both when one of Hana’s assistants — the one she had assigned to brief you over all the details of today’s shoot — pulls you from the conversation, apology written all over her face at the thought of interrupting you but as soon as she open her mouth to speak, you dismiss it with an its okay and you signal for her to go ahead. 
“This is the final list of the concepts Hana had brainstormed which one of the client is yet to choose from,” she hands you a thin stack of paper, a portfolio sandwiched between two clear binding covers, “The bride has already chosen the concepts she wants that are to be included for today’s shoot, so, all that's left is to hand the checklist to the groom for the shoot next week.”
Nodding, you skim through the portfolio and shit, it’s definitely good. 
You’re whisked away towards the building, directed towards the seventh floor of the rented building in which you’re told Soyeon’s groom is, handpicking his outfits for the day. 
You give the door a knock, hearing a bustle of people talking on the other side of the door, and when no one answers, you push the door open. You’re immediately greeted by a flurry of people walking back and forth, all of them either with stacks of paper in their arms or Brioni and Gucci suits in tow. 
It’s a mess, a downright mess you want to run from because you haven’t ingested enough coffee to face this. 
Which is exactly why you nearly cry when someone steps in front of you, a neat smile in place and a large cup of iced coffee in one hand, a hand extending towards you, “You look like you need this.” 
He tilts his head once, gesturing inside the room, “I’m Yoongi, Min Yoongi. Jimin texted me earlier that his other sister is standing in for Hana and I assume that’s you.” 
Something feels vaguely familiar about Min Yoongi and you list it off as a passing name Jimin had mentioned in the stories he had told you. 
“There’s a meeting room on the very far left, grumpy groom’s there,” Yoongi smiles, “Nice meeting you, um—”
“(Y/N). My name’s (Y/N), nice to meet you too, Yoongi.”
You think as you walk that there’s no point in going over next week’s concept today since Hana can already make it by the next photoshoot and she would’ve understand better the dynamics of it all if they talk then, but okay, since you’re already here, might as well help all the way. 
Through the frosted glass of the meeting room, you see a silhouette, tall and broad. You have never been a people-person and meeting new ones really isn’t your strong point so you take three deep breaths, hand tightening on the cup of coffee Yoongi handed you, before pushing the glass door open. 
“Hi, I’m sorry I ran a bit late. It’s—” 
And you stop. 
You stop because you suddenly can’t feel the cold cup slipping from your grip. You stop because you feel the liquid pool at the very bottom of your shoes, sticky and wet and messy. You stop because you can’t breathe. You stop because your heart fucking stops too at the sight of Kim Taehyung. 
Beautiful, dazzling Kim Taehyung. 
First boyfriend, first love, now ex-lover, Kim Taehyung. 
Soyeon’s groom and soon-to-be husband, Kim Taehyung.
“Everything okay here?” Yoongi. You hear his footsteps behind you before you see him and you can’t be thankful enough at the interference that’s very much needed. 
But you allow yourself to be pathetic, just as you always are around Kim Taehyung. And because you can’t help it, frankly, when your eyes meet his and all sense that is good and common jumps out the window behind him. Because he looks fucking beautiful — him and his honey hair that’s now framing his face, a little bit longer, lighter. Because the room reeks of him, jasmine, vanilla, and oakmoss and it consumes you. The part of you that, despite it all, still longs for the Kim Taehyung from four years past.
On a good day and you meet him once more, you think you would have laughed. A fake smile and a head held high would’ve done it in front of him. But all it takes is one look now. One look, at the time when all your defenses are down, for the self-imposed chain that blocks it all to break and give, a domino effect in your mind as it all comes back; the whirlwind of feelings and emotions that the calamity of him brings forth. 
You nod, feeling the light touch of Yoongi’s fingers around your arm, and you anchor yourself with it. Pull yourself from drowning in him once more. “Yeah, sorry,” You breathe, “It slipped. I’m really sorry.”
“No, no, it’s okay. I’ll have someone take care of it, don’t worry,” Yoongi waves you off when you bend down to start cleaning up your mess, nods toward Taehyung, “Go on, he gets grumpy if he’s left to wait.” 
Oh, you know. 
So, you do. 
You drag your legs to where Taehyung stands, feeling like you’re hauling wet logs for limbs. It’s silent, save for the sound of Yoongi’s shoes against the floor as he kicks at the fallen blocks of ice, and maybe, he takes the silence for Taehyung’s bout of pettiness because he hisses a quiet behave before he walks out. The silence becomes even more suffocating when now it’s just you and Taehyung. 
“So—”
“I—”
You shut your mouth when he speaks at the same time as you. 
You decide, though, to continue because you’re here for one thing and that one thing entails that you have something to say to him. But he doesn’t, he shouldn’t. 
“So, let’s talk about concepts. I’ve been told that Soyeon has already chosen the ones for today — for both your individual and couple shots, and you get to choose the ones for the shoot with Hana next week. Here,” you slide the portfolio across the table, taking a seat across his own without waiting for him, “Hana already made an outline for everything so, this, is basically a checklist you just have to choose from and—”
“How are you?” 
“—I’m just going to wait until you’re done filling them out so I can bring them back and start with—”
“(Y/N).” You finally look at him then and you look away the second you do because you’re trying so hard to keep yourself whole and you feel like one second more in his gaze and you’ll fall apart, “I’m sorry.” 
And you try. God, you try so hard to repress the tiny, evil voice that pushes you to throw reason out the window. But it comes out anyway, and there’s no stopping what flows out of your mouth after, “Why,” you laugh, “Sorry because you wouldn't have chosen Hana's studio if you knew I was the one to take your photos? Or sorry because you had my brother acting like a train wreck just to keep this from me? Don’t worry I won’t be here next week.” 
His face pinches, tongue rolling out to wet his lips, “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Then don’t apologize to me—” you grit, fists clenched and heart thundering, “—as if you assumed that seeing you has put me in a position that hurt me. Because it really doesn’t. Not anymore, Taehyung. So if you have anything to apologize for—” 
You cut yourself off because no, no he has nothing to apologize for. He doesn’t have to say sorry. One person deciding to walk out of a relationship doesn’t warrant an apology from them. An explanation, sure, but you don’t really need it from him. He made it clear enough all those years ago just before he slammed the door of your apartment shut that he just didn’t love you enough — not anymore then. 
It’s been four years. It’s been four long years and you should be over him — and you are, you’re certain that you are. But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt because it does, fuck, it still hurts so much and you don’t know why. 
“—apologize to Jimin because I just know he feels like shit for lying to me because of you.” 
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You commit your second mistake that same day in the middle of shooting Taehyung’s individual photos. Soyeon had gone for a nature theme this time and so you find yourself in the middle of the forest with a near-naked Taehyung in tow and thank heavens it rains because one more glimpse through the viewfinder at his well-oiled torso and you might have combust and run away from the photoshoot, Hana’s reputation be damned. 
Jimin seems to be attached to you now, becoming a human magnet not long after he had apologized so much he knelt, snuggling to your side every chance he gets that it’s suffocating you because he’s overcompensating but you don’t really have the heart to call him out. Not when he looks like a puppy whose tail got accidentally stepped on when you get around to even do so much as try. 
So, you let him become your shadow for the time being, finally letting out a huge breath of relief when lunch time comes around and everybody takes a break and you slip past him to the very back of the dilapidated cabin you stumbled upon just before the last shoot ended, not too deep into the forest that faces the river. 
Finally, you think, as you savor the peace, even though momentary. You’re glad to be away from the commotion and it makes you realize once more why you choose to be cooped up in an office. It’s because you really can’t handle this many people and it physically and emotionally drains you that you can’t think.
You pause when you reach into your pockets, the gritty warning from Hana and Jimin an alarm ricocheting in your mind how it’s an unhealthy habit and it’s going to fucking ruin you someday. But the short-lived guilt is replaced by justifications of how it’ll be a free-pass and your siblings can fuck off because they’re the reason you’re here in the first place. 
Besides, burning through one stick won’t hurt them if they don't know. 
So you let your fingers feel for the familiar leather case, pull the only stick inside and you’re so, so close to reaching your sweet release from this damned mental pressure when you realize you left your lighter at home. Letting out a curse, you clamp your mouth around the unlit cigarette, letting it hang and opting to indulge in its semi-sweet smell that goes so well with the rain. 
“Want a light?”
You still, the cigarette falling from your lips at the sudden fright. Down, down, and down until it’s washed away by the rain. What a waste, you lament. Sighing, you turn and see Taehyung who’s sporting a sheepish smile, the same familiar white in between his own mouth, lit unlike yours, “I’d accept, but there’s really nothing that needs lighting anymore.”
He has a shirt on now, you notice, flimsy and buttoned up halfway. His hair is tousled messily, now free from the rigid form it previously had, and you give him your back when you feel the urge to fix the fraction of hair that has fallen forward. You hear him take a drag and you smell before you see the tendrils of gray smoke when he releases and god, the small whiff, even in the tiniest fume, has your shoulder relaxing. 
“I’d offer one but I don’t have any spare with me,” you hear him say before you feel him move, “I’ll get the fallen one for you, if you want.”
You roll your eyes and wave him off before you see him lean against the other column, the change in position means that he’s now closer, closer than he’s ever been since the day you last saw him, years ago. And he’s close enough that the thin material of his shirt brushes against your hoodie when the wind moves. And you want to move too, only if it isn’t for the fact that one move and you’ll either fall into the river or be skewered by the worn down wood and you don’t really feel like dying today. 
Ironic, how you went for a smoke break to relieve the stress of the day, only to have it doubled. 
Now, this is where you make the second mistake. 
Because you really don’t mean to stare at Taehyung. You don’t mean to let your stare at his mouth linger a second too long that he sees.  It’s just unfortunate that the cigarette is in his mouth, and you stay fixated on the damn cigarette that you fail to see him catch your gaze and hold it. 
It’s unfortunate that you don’t take a step back when he takes one step forward. 
It’s unfortunate that you become pliant when his cold fingers softly grip your chin, coaxing your mouth to open and welcome the smoke that he blows from his own mouth, hot and intoxicating and tinged with the memories of all the nights past that he’s done this. 
It’s unfortunate that you take a long drag when he places the soft end of the cigarette from his mouth to yours, unhesitating and eager. 
“Feeling better?” He asks, gentle as he pulls the stick, planting it back to the hold of his mouth. You see a slight upward curve at the corners of it. 
This is bad. Wrong and unacceptable and absolutely inappropriate, you know. But you can’t help but accept when he offers one more drag, an offer of release. This time you pluck it out from his fingers, feel the warmth of him around the smoke, and inhale. 
It’s only when the embers die out that you feel it, the heavy feeling coming back tenfold as you realize the gravity of what you just did. Not for anyone else, but for you. The toll this will have on you when you go home and have all the time in the world to think about your stupidity. So before you get sucked into the void of self-destruction, you excuse yourself, not caring about the delicate drops of rain that fall but not before you turn back and shout your thanks. 
“Okay, you shared a smoke, so what,” you mutter to yourself as you dry yourself off. You’re two people who share a history, a history that’s now dead and gone. A flame that was once bright but has now burned out, never to be rekindled again. 
You enter the building with thoughts of rationalization that tries to justify what you’ve done as something harmless, clouding your mind enough that you don’t see Jimin barrel towards you with a smile on his face, only to be replaced with disgust when he breathes and chokes at the ghost of smoke that clings to your clothes. 
He rummages through a nearby luggage and returns with a bottle of perfume, “If you want your head still attached to your shoulders by tonight, you’d know better and douse yourself in that shit because Hana’s here to take over and you only have two minutes to shove Listerine down your throat before she finds you.” 
In the haste of trying to avert your sister’s wrath, you damn near shower the entire contents of the bottle, only to realize that night when you come home that despite the endless showers you take, you still smell like him. Because of all people, Jimin just had to take from Taehyung’s things and now you’re doused with him all over again. 
It’s later that night that you’ll fall asleep to the smell of jasmine and vanilla despite years of trying so hard to rid your apartment of any scents. 
Of any trace of Kim Taehyung.
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The third and fourth mistake, you make five days later. A Friday that you’re miraculously off work early. Well, technically, you can get off whenever you want but as the faithful, loving, and overworking youngest child that you are, you’ve assimilated longer hours at your father’s company to productivity and so you’ve never really found reason to clock off early when you can do so much more if you stay a bit later than most.
Besides, the company won’t run by itself, so there’s that. 
Now, though, you wonder why you thought like that because as you walk down the street, everything looks divine. The setting sun settles on the horizon, sandwiched between two skyscrapers, bleeding purple and orange and pink and it’s breathtaking. Painfully so. For the first time, you indulge yourself in the sounds of the busy city and for a change, it’s peaceful despite the loudness. You can’t remember the last time you took a stroll like this, having been so immersed in work. The last time you walked down the street the like had been years ago, with—
The breath you take is sharp and sudden that it has you bent over on the sidewalk, coughing and wheezing your lungs out that people start to look. You flash a smile, sending a quick thanks to your sister’s ex-lover for choosing to establish the studio within a five-minute walk from the company building, and nearly combusting on the spot when you pull their glass door that clearly says push right after you nearly heave your lungs out from climbing 10 sets of stairs because the elevator isn’t working, coincidentally.  
“Hey,” you greet the people on the lounge before specifically turning to Younha — the one who had walked you through everything on the previous shoot, “Is Hana here? I have the initial photos ready if she wants to see. Played around and edited most of them.”
Younha looks sheepish as she raises her hand to her nape where she nervously scratches, “About that,” she grimaces, “Hana phoned earlier that she’s running a bit late tonight so she told me to look over the photos and pick the final ones with the client, but I don’t trust myself enough to do that just yet, so would it be okay if we go through it together?” 
You assure her it’s okay. And really, it is, because you’ve finished work anyway and it’s a Saturday tomorrow. You can afford to be late an hour or so. You watch her plug the USB on one of the computers lined up against the wall, see her gasp when she pulls up the photos. 
“Oh my god, these are beautiful. You’re telling me you shot each of these by yourself, edited them all on your own, all in less than a week,” Younha turns to you, eyes wide, “Can’t you come and work with us?”
You laugh, genuine and loud, “The raw files were already beautiful untouched. Just touched up some lighting here and there.”
“Yeah, and who took those raw shots, hm? Who coordinated every single thing that resulted in those shots looking like that? You, that’s who,” Younha seems to realize who she’s talking to and she blushes before muttering something else you can’t hear, “Also, about Hana—” 
Uh-oh. This can’t be good.
“—so she told me earlier if I can pick out the final photos with the client, right? And since you’re here,” Younha trails off and you still there is no way, no way that you’re going to sit hours dissecting each photo with Soyeon, worse if it’s Taehyung. You have your pride and you’ll cling to that even if it’s the last thing you do in this world.
No way in hell. “Hana’s on her way here, right? I think she can make it.”
Younha nods, a low hum before she answers, “She can. In two hours. Maybe. Not sure. Our client, however—” She tilts her head to the right. Towards the direction of Hana’s office. “—is here.”
It’s a sigh of defeat you let out. Walking away from here means you admit you’re a coward, walking in Hana’s office will mean you’re weak. See, it’s always a lose-lose thing for you everytime a certain Kim is involved. The very, and only, Kim who seems to be haunting every part of your daily life the past five days. Or in this current case, a future Kim but a Kim nonetheless. 
Younha smiles, the sly fox, when you place your bag back down on the table, “If I’m going to stay here for the night, might as well ask for coffee. Lots and lots of it.”
You only barely get the full sentence out but Younha is already on her heels with a mock salute.
You push the door to Hana’s office, making sure (twice) not to pull this time, and your eyes land on Kim Taehyung whose eyebrows rise in surprise upon seeing you. If he thinks you’re meaning to keep on meeting him like this, well, he’s wrong. The universe likes to spring surprises down your path of life and it just so happens that for now, Kim Taehyung might be its play thing — to torment you with, most probably. 
He sits on the couch that rests against the white wall, beside the windows that occupy the whole one side of the room that overlooks the city. Hana’s office is more like her office and a miniature studio, exclusive for her and whoever she decides to let in here, separate from the lounge and the main studio. It’s an industrial loft, made modern and more suited to her taste and it’s just so goddamn bright in here, you realize.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” you mutter as the door clicks shut behind you. 
You head straight to Hana’s computer, turning it on and plugging the USB before you plop down on the office chair. “I had the photos with me and I dropped by to leave it for Hana but she apparently has things to attend to for the next two hours and you’re here already so, yeah.”
Taehyung only nods, silent and awkward when he stands. 
You sigh, “Grab a chair and come here, I guess. We have, like, a thousand photos to sift through. See if you’d like any changes done to them. The earlier we finish, the better.”
Three hours pass after that and you’re left with no Hana in sight, 325 file numbers listed down, a faint headache and tired eyes, a hungry stomach, and three accidental brushes of Taehyung’s hair on your cheek because what before is a ruler-long distance between the two of you has been reduced to mere centimeters, and Jesus Christ, you don’t know who moved between the two of you that it has come to such. You’re firm to say it isn’t you because your ass remains frozen, stiff as a board everytime Taehyung does so much as inhale. 
“Can you—” Taehyung clears his throat, pointing to the keyboard, “—move to the next one, please.”
You mutter an apology, pressing the right arrow and you see the photo move. Frankly, you aren’t paying attention. Not to anything, least of all the photos. It’ll be like knocking consciously on Hell’s door if you do pay attention. 
Because you can take being around Taehyung, you can easily detach yourself from reality when you are — and not feel anything, to look at him alone and think of him as an ex-friend, an ex-lover without the rest of the titles attached. But to look at the photos, the pictures you took, there’s no detaching from that reality. The reality that the man you had feelings for — might still have feelings for, but you push that thought back — is getting married, of all things. 
And you list this off as feeling weird, an ex marrying a cousin. You aren’t jealous, god, no. It’s just that — weird. Well, you think. 
“Okay, I can’t take this anymore,” Taehyung breathes and you still, unmoving as the statue on the corner of the room, “I’m going to order Chinese. I’m not going to last the rest of these photos if I don’t eat. Anything you want?” 
He might as well have slammed the mouse he’s holding with the way he casually lets it fall off from his hand to the table, leaning back on his chair and oh god, his head is leaning on the back of your chair. One move of your shoulder and the back of it will touch the side of his head. He has his phone over his head, elbows hanging in the air as he opens his phone with a click. He hums as he scrolls and this is so, so painfully domestic that you struggle to breathe. 
It’s been push and pull the whole night. He asks, you answer, and never the other way. 
Fifteen minutes that you’re plunged in deafening silence and you punch the air in your mind when Younha knocks, take-away bags at hand and a smile on her face. 
Taehyung hands you your food, places the utensils in neat order, pokes the straw through your bubble tea and gently places it in front of you and you stare. You stare because never in your life did you ever think you and Taehyung would ever be in this situation. Toeing around each other, walking on eggshells. 
There had been a time that silence wasn’t an option — it’s either you filled the quiet or he did; mouths off about Pokemon and stickers and dogs he met on a certain day, or silence filled with wordless communication through flesh and skin and heavy breaths. 
Never this — a fragile silence that no words could ever fill. But of course, Taehyung knows how to break that. Break you when he speaks, “I think we’ll have this one framed for the reception.”
You blink at the photo on the monitor, big and taunting. In it, Taehyung smiles, a wide rectangle stretch of his mouth as his chin rests on top of Soyeon’s head, the latter leaning her weight on Taehyung. It’s evident, palpable even, the happiness that’s shared between them. A running joke between the two of them captured on a permanent photograph only they can understand. 
“Yeah,” you nod, a smile, or an attempt at it, stretching your lips, “it’s beautiful. Definitely worthy for the reception. You can hang it in your home after.”
It’s an instinct – you’d like to believe so – when you feel Taehyung move beside you and you mindlessly mirror him, freezing the moment you take in the miniscule space that’s left as you both huddle to look at the monitor. A good couple inches you can count on one hand. And you refuse to move away because no, this is not at all affecting you. And it’s Taehyung, you justify, who’s currently invading your space. 
The third mistake is when you try to steal a glance at the corner of your eye because you think he’s engrossed with the picture. 
But then you see that he isn’t. Not when his stare locks with yours the moment your eyes move.  Had been on you all this time. 
The fourth is when he moves and you don’t. 
Not when his thumb brushes the corner of your mouth to wipe whatever it is he sees there. 
Not when he flashes you a smile – something so fond and warm and tender that renders you mute. 
Not when he succumbs to sleep an hour later, head lolling on your shoulder.
But the entire world moves when he stirs and the overhead lights hit something golden. It crumbles and caves beneath your feet when a locket falls out of the top of his loosely buttoned shirt. An identical locket to the one that now sits heavy on your chest – once heavy with the broken promises, but now empty of the love that first came with it.
You see his forehead wrinkle as he slowly wakes and you feel the start of the burn that first settles on your chest before it moves and starts from the corners of your eyes. You train your eyes on the monitor, fingers clicking away on the mouse and the keyboard faster than ever.
“I’m sorry,” you hear him say. His head stays on your shoulder as he speaks. “What time is it?” 
“Quarter before ten—”
“I missed you,” he breathes and you hear him let out a soft laugh before he whispers, “I always miss you.”
It feels as if all the air in your lungs has been knocked out and you turn to speak when you see that he’s fallen back asleep. And god, you wanted to shout at him, let out the years of pent up frustration and grudge you’ve had all these past years and ask all the unanswered whys and hows. But looking at him now, after so, so long, you realize you do too. 
A tear drops and a multitude of realizations follow. 
You missed him. You missed him. You miss him. 
And fuck, you’re still in love with him, you realize. So much and enough to make you not think of the consequences of the realization that you do.
Not when his fiancée finally comes and places a chaste kiss on his lips.
Not when a wedding invitation lands itself on the desk towards you.
And especially not when the ghost of him lingers when they’re gone and you find yourself praying for it to stay just a little bit longer.
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You did not plan for your Friday night to be like this at all. 
The initial – and final – plan was this: show up to the club your sister wanted you to show up to, make it look like you’re genuinely happy to be there, flee the moment midnight hits when your sister and her friends are too drunk to realize you aren’t there anymore, and sleep away in the solace your tranquil and quiet apartment offers. 
The night and plan had been going well, much to your delight. 
Just until the fleeing part, that is. Because the moment you press the unlock button to your car half past one in the morning, you see a very drunk Kim Taehyung eagle spread on the hood of your car, with only a rumpled halfway-buttoned shirt that’s tucked into his pants, one of his shoes already on the roof of the Mercedes. 
And so instead of proceeding to the sleeping part of your plan, here you are now, struggling under the weight of Taehyung as you try to push in all his limbs in the passenger seat because he refuses to go away. Why, of all people, must you be the one to find him like this? Other people would’ve paid no mind leaving him on the pavement but of course, the universe had to make sure it just had to be you because old, cruel fate had it out for you and your demise.
Two weeks spent in isolation from the rest of the world in an attempt to justify and get over the realization you had of still being in love with an ex and the world just dumps him in the hood of your car of all cars. 
“Kim Taehyung, I am not above violence, I will fucking knock you out if I have to if you step your foot out and kick me once more, for the love of god,” you heave, “Are you with Jimin?”
At this, he grins and nods, eyes half-closed, “Jimin went home. I think. Or wait, maybe he’s passed out in Yoongi’s tub. I think. I don’t know, do you think he’s still here? Wait, do you know Jimin? How do you know Jimin?” 
You sigh, “Give me your phone. I’ll get Soyeon to pick your ass up.”
Taehyung lets out a loud gasp, proceeds to choke on air before he looks up at you, “How do you know my girlfriend?” 
You pause for a second before rolling your eyes, “Phone.”
“It’s in my left pocket, can you get it for me? I’m so tired,” he whines, wincing as his head lands on the head rest. You reach over to pull his phone out, only to retrieve a pack of cigarettes but no phone. You freeze when his hand grips your wrist that’s still in his pocket, feeling your heartbeat in your ears when he leans forward, so close that you feel his breath on your cheek, “Butt pocket, sorry.” 
You take a deep breath as he continues to look at you with a grin. You move closer, angling your head away because you would be fucking cheek-to-cheek if you don’t and you pause just before you touch his back pocket, “No, you know what, you can get it yourself. Either that or I leave you out here on the streets.” 
Taehyung pouts but he moves his arm behind him nonetheless, proceeds to feel his other pocket when he finds the first one empty.
“My phone’s gone,” he huffs, “Oh! It’s in Minnie’s car!”
You let out a loud groan, rounding the car to open the driver’s side to look for your bag so you could use your phone and you let out another sound of frustration, louder this time, when you remember the picture of a beige bag being left underneath your couch’s pillow. You look over at Taehyung, a war in your head as to what to do with him, before you finally settle on the choice that you never, ever think you would’ve made. 
“Fine,” you grit as you turn the engine on, “I’m going to drop you off your house but I’m not gonna be held accountable for the reasons you’re going to have to explain to your girlfriend if she greets your drunk ass as to why the fuck her cousin’s dropping her fiance off, alright? Now, are you still staying in the same apartment ‘cause I’m going to drop you–”
Taehyung snores, body folding in on himself as he slightly shivers. You sigh, dropping your forehead on the steering wheel, enough to hurt and make the horn whine, “This is fucking unbelievable. I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
“Hey, Taehyung,” you shake him, poking his shoulders the way you know he hates, “Wake up and tell me your address, asshole. I’m not driving to the other side of the city only to find out you changed address. Hey.” 
He makes the tiniest wave of his arm before he goes back to sleep. 
You glance at the clock that says it’s now nearing three in the morning and you run your hands over your face because fuck this. 
Now, you head to your apartment with the plan of just dumping Taehyung in the foyer and letting him sleep there until he has his mind back in the morning – you figure he’d probably run off the minute he wakes up. 
“Hey, wake up.” You nudge him when you arrive and you sigh once more as he merely stirs, opening his side of the door before attempting to move out of the car only to heave when the seatbelt he still has on pulls him back.
With a grimace, you round to his side and lug one of his arms around your shoulders and basically carry all of his weight towards the elevator. You give a tight smile to the staff at the reception as you pass by, dismissing the offer of help. You nearly drop to your knees as soon as the elevator doors close, exhaustion flooding you all of a sudden. 
As soon as the door opens to the penthouse, you remove your hold on Taehyung and he slumps against the wall. You let out a breath before pushing him to one of the guest rooms where he immediately plops down on the bed after knocking his shoes off.  A small smile plants itself on your face and you reach over to pull the covers over him. 
Kneeling down on the floor beside the bed, you brush off the loose hairs that cover his face and you whisper, “You’re making it so hard for me.”
Deciding that you’ve helped him enough, you head to your room to change and shower – a long bout of internal battle against yourself as you try to wash off all that happened. 
It is an hour later when you’re already in your bed, tossing and turning that you find yourself a long way from sleep, and so you push the covers off of you to head towards the kitchen to find something to drink. The sun is starting to rise, you see, as you stare at the large windows, uneasy at the thought that Taehyung is there. Here. 
And you know you shouldn’t care anymore. You’ve done enough and beyond to help him, you remind yourself. But that doesn’t matter, really, because here you are, pushing the guest room open to check on him, a bottle of water in hand. He remains as he was the second he got here and you sigh as you pull one of Jungkook’s shirt and sweatpants from the cabinet, a spare he leaves in the case he unintentionally sleeps over, and you walk towards Taehyung before slowly shaking him awake. 
“Hey,” you speak softly as his eyes crack open, mind still swimming in alcohol, “you should change into this. Your clothes must be uncomfortable to sleep in. Here’s some water too.” 
His eyes open a little bit wider, voice hoarse when he speaks, “(Y/N)?” 
You swallow, “Yeah, it’s me.” 
“I can’t remember most of tonight, how did I—”
You smile, “And you probably won’t remember all of this when you sleep once more. Just change and drink this, Taehyung.”
A part of why you’re doing all the things you’re doing is the fact that you know he will forget this. 
He sits up, swaying as he does so, twisting the water open. You greet him good night, and just as you turn to head back to sleep, his hand dart out to grip your wrist – as tight as the grip that has your heart beating so loud in your chest as he does, “I’m sorry.” 
Without turning around, you answer, “You don’t have to be. I would’ve done the same for anyone else.” 
“No, you wouldn’t have.” 
Pressing your tongue against your cheek, you rip your arm away from his hold, now turning around to face him. He slowly stands, eyes trained on you. You open your mouth to speak but he beats you to it, “I’m not saying sorry just because of tonight,” he speaks quietly, “This is an apology that’s long overdue. An apology I never had the courage to give you. An apology that I owe you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being the coward that walked away without an explanation. For not being the person I promised you I would be.”
“I told you,” you say through gritted teeth, “You don’t owe me an apology, Taehyung. It’s over and done with. Apologizing to me would mean that there’s still loose ends between us, and I’m telling you that there’s none. You may have burnt those ends the moment you walked away and I have burned mine in the years that followed. You don’t owe me anything.”
He’s closer now, so close that you feel yourself getting overwhelmed by the smell of alcohol and his perfume. “Then why are you still wearing this?” 
You feel all the walls come down, then, when his fingers trace the golden chain of the locket. The once emblem of young and promised love, of an oath, of Kim Taehyung. The necklace that never was once removed from you since then. 
You chuckle, bitter and harsh, “You’re still wearing it too, Kim.”
You flinch as you feel the pad of his thumb wipe away at the trail of tears that has somehow escaped, “Leaving you was the only choice I had then. It killed me to walk right out of that fucking door but it was the only choice. For you, for me, for us. Even if it meant me becoming the asshole, it was the only choice.” 
“Don’t feed me that bullshit, you left me. And in my vocabulary and everyone else’s, leaving the person you claim to love without a single explanation is a shit move,” you nearly damn snarled, “I could’ve accepted you telling me you didn’t love me anymore but you fucking walked out without a single word. Well, I guess it worked out great for you, huh? You’re getting married now.” 
“I did l—”
“Don’t fucking dare say it,” you sob, feeling all the energy draining out of you in a second, “You’re four years too late, Taehyung.”
The chains that hold all the hurt and grievance of the past four years had been unlocked and with the thought of Taehyung not being able to remember this tomorrow, you let it all out. 
“I lied,” you whisper, lips and chest shaking as you breathe, “It hurts me seeing you now. So fucking much. Because you never wanted to get married. I remember when we were together you said that we could live without the titles, the labels, and the technicalities of it all, because you’d love me the same. So yes, it hurts. I can’t deny that it does when the things you didn’t want with me, things I wanted to have with you, you learned to want with someone else. Shit like this hurts because even if I was okay without all the titles, I thought then that spending a lifetime with you wouldn’t be so bad. But you made it seem like you never wanted marriage, not with anyone ever and so I accepted it, content even with just being with you.”
“But then you show up like this,” you say so quietly you don’t know if he can hear it, “You can’t expect it not to hurt, Tae, because it does. So, so much.”
“I’m sorry,” Taehyung lightly rests his forehead on yours, “I’m so sorry.”
“Answer me this one question,” you look up at him, “Please.” 
You feel him nod, “Anything.”
You feel it again, the suffocating claws that grips around your chest, the pain of unanswered questions and doubts, “Was my love not enough for you?”
You feel it before you hear it, when he nods against your head, hands coming up to hold your cheeks, “No, no, god, no. It was more than enough. It was so much more than enough that you became someone who didn’t deserve someone who couldn’t reciprocate the amount of love you were giving me. I’m sorry.”
“I miss you, Tae.” You whisper, and you can barely see him through the tears, “And it’s so, so wrong and I shouldn’t be doing this but fuck, I do. Four years and I still miss you and now you’re here, back in my life, and yet you’re still the farthest you’ve ever been from me.”
Maybe it’s the realization that he is – so far away from you and will never be close enough anymore – that you think maybe this is the long-awaited end. The closure you’ve once longed for but never had. Maybe there really was no reason for him leaving you beyond the fact that he didn’t love you anymore – and maybe that was enough reason. You just didn’t want to accept that fact. Maybe it’s time that you do. 
After Taehyung, you’ve become someone who believed that love is something that’s easy to let go, when in fact, all this time, it is the love you had for Taehyung you’ve never let go of. And maybe, it was never love for the people that came after him and so it became easy for you once it’s over, once it ended. Because what has started that really counted has never reached its end, for you anyway. Because it will never be the same. 
Because they weren’t Kim Taehyung. 
“Don’t cry for me. I don’t deserve it,” he smiles a small smile as he wipes a tear away. 
“Then stop making me cry, asshole,” you softly retort, hands coming up to wrap around his own to pull them away from your face. You can’t think straight when he has his hands on you, “I’m not asking for you to love me again, not anymore. Maybe we could be friends?”
It’s a weak attempt at humor, you know. And you really don’t think you can be just friends with Taehyung. But you’re weak for Kim Taehyung and you’re still so fucking in love him that you’d settle for whatever there can be between the two of you. He doesn’t need to know the specifics.
“Can we, really?” He laughs softly, a sad smile appearing, “I’m about to do something very stupid, for the very last time, so please, stop me if you don’t want to because I don’t think I can stop myself.”
He leans forward as the inches between you decrease down to a zero, his lips pressing against your cheek, your forehead, your eyelid, and to the corner of your mouth before he pulls away. “No, you had something to drink too, I’m drunk, you’re drunk. I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking, ” Taehyung breathes against your cheek, eyes shut tight. 
“I’m not.” 
Whether that’s an answer that refutes your state of intoxication or a statement that debunks Taehyung’s apology, you don’t know. Because the next moment finds you pulling him forward, arms snaking around his shoulders as you kiss him. Soft and unhurried and sad – a declaration of what had remained unsaid for the past years. 
The last time, you swear, and from tomorrow then on, you’re going to be friends. This night will be void – forgotten and discarded. Taehyung is going to continue with his life and you with yours. 
It’s so easy to become so lost in Taehyung that you forget the rest of the world. 
That you don’t hear the sound of the door opening. 
Or the second set of drunk footsteps that follows the first one.
“What in the fuck is going on here?”
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Zuko x reader - one more time
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Hey can I get a Zuko x reader where the it’s Legend of Korra era but what it is is that Korra or Bolin just anyone in the main group ask about his past s/o who was the reader and he talks about them in a sad old man way taking about his deceased lover 😭 thank you - Anon 💜
Korra had been trying to figure everything out, and she realised the only connection she had to Aang, the one that knew him when he was going through the same thing was Zuko.
So she visited him, and spent as much time as she could asking questions, asking for advice and help.
“I’m sorry Korra, but this is not something I’m so good at, (Y/N) was better at giving advice than I ever could have hoped to be.”
“(Y/N)? You’re partner?” Korra asked.
Zuko nodded his head and gestured for her to follow him.
He led her through a lavish garden, nearly cared for, and when they reached the middle he showed her a large statue and Korra stared at it.
You were absolutely stunning, you looked young, beautiful, elegant, yet powerful and a fair ruler.
“Wait.. I think.. I think I spoke to them. In the spirit realm.”
“You did?”
They both sat down in the bench opposite the statue of you.
“Yeah, they were the one that told me to come speak to you, that you would know what to do.” She said.
Zuko smiled and chuckled softly as he stared up at the statue in fondness.
“They always said I knew what to do, even if I didn’t realise it straight away.”
Korra looked at the former fire Lord, and she looked up at the statue of you.
“What were they like?” She asked softly.
Zuko smiled softly, turning his head to the floor before he looked back up at the statue.
“They were… they were strong, stubborn, like Katara, but peaceful and loving like Aang. They saw the beauty in everything around, but they were one of the bravest people I had ever met.”
Korra listened carefully as Zuko told her all about you.
He told her stories from when you two first met, how you had left the nation to fight with Aang, and you would always mock him for not being able to defeat you.
Then how he fell in love with you, on the day of the war ended, while he was fighting with his sister you risked your life for not only Katara, but for him too.
He loved your stubbornness, and your smiled that could light up a room on the darkest night.
“They were more then anything I could’ve ever asked for, they gave me the love and the forgiveness I never have asked for from anyone else…”
Zuko sighed, running his finger alone the lone wedding band on his finger.
“They were the love of my life and more…”
Korra reached out, placing her hand on his arm, making him look at her.
“You’ve done them proud, they told me how proud they were of you, and how much they miss you.” She said.
He smiled softly and looked at her.
“Really?”
“Yeah, of course.”
He nodded his head and looked at your statue before turning to the young avatar.
“Do you think you can talk to them again?”
“I.. don’t know. Maybe.”
“If you do please give them this. I was going to give it to them on the our anniversary before they passed, I’ve carried it ever since.”
He handed over an old letter, and she took it, slipping it into her pocket.
“Of course, will you tell me more about them?”
Zuko smiled and carried on talking, and Korra just sat there listened to his stories.
She knew he was lonely, she heard from Katara how you were never without one another.
To loose your lover so early and have to go on through life without them? She couldn’t imagine how lonely and how painful it must be.
She heard the way he talked, the sadness in his voice, the tears brimming his eyes as all he could do was stare at the statue.
Korra looked at the statue and she saw something behind it, and all she could do was stare at the spirit.
She didn’t need to compare the looks to know immediately who it was.
She watched as you walked over and sat in front of your statue, resting your elbow on your knee, and you rested your chin on your palm as you smiled at Zuko.
“Ask him to tell you about the time he proposed to me.” You whispered softly.
“Can you tell me about the time your proposed to (Y/N)?”
“You really want to hear about that?”
Katara flicked her eyes to your spirit, and you gently nodded your head.
“I.. (Y/N) wants to hear it.”
“They’re here?”
Zuko knew the avatar could see spirits, talk with them, and he knew since the spirit realm was opened more and more were pouring through.
He never thought that you would come through though.
“They’re here…” she smiled.
Zuko looked around and Korra pointed to where you were sat, and all she could do was smile as he smiled to himself.
“It was supposed to be elegant, I had a large ball planned, everyone was invited, everyone was waiting for me. (Y/N) wore the most beautiful clothes you had ever seen, made out the finest silk you could ever see. I was walking down the stairs, and I tripped, falling the rest of the way and I knocked (Y/N) over along the way.” He laughed.
You laughed as well and nodded your head.
“I was so embarrassed I quickly left and (Y/N) followed me, out to this very garden and we stood in very spot. They kissed me, and told me that it was okay, and I asked them there and then if they would marry me.”
He twisted the wedding band on his finger.
“They teased me and kept putting off the answer, and I went to walk away thinking it was them rejecting me… I tripped again…”
“But they said yes.” Korra smiled.
“They did. But not before laughing at me first.” He chuckled.
Korra watched as his face turned to sadness.
“It was the best marriage I could’ve ever ask for… but they got sick… they tried to fight, to hold on but they wouldn’t do it anymore. They passed away in their sleep, they never got to watch our children grow up, they never saw the kingdoms grow closer.”
Korra couldn’t handle it anymore, she knew she shouldn’t do this, but she felt like she owed it to Zuko, for everything he’d done.
“Close your eyes.” She said softly.
Zuko did as he was told and she placed a hand on his head, whispering something she stepped away.
“I.. I don’t know how long it’ll last, but I hope this helps.”
She handed him the letter he gave her and stepped a few steps back, watching him open his eyes and he stared directly at you.
He smiled and you stood up, walking over to touch his face.
Maybe she was breaking a lot of rules, but Korra knew he was breaking inside without you, he’d been so alone without you for so long she wanted him to have some time with you, even if it was just a few minutes
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fuckyeahisawthat · 18 days
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Something I find interesting when viewing the two recent Dune movies as a whole is that initially, Paul is more than willing to use the prophecy and his visions for his own gain to convince Liet to help them, while Jessica whispers "careful!" at his side, and she later recommends they leave the planet entirely. But Paul decides they'll stay with the Fremen. Even at the beginning of Part 2, Paul is like "fuck yeah let's wage war on the Harkonnen" and Jessica is again counseling caution: "your father didn't believe in revenge." She goes through the Water of Life ceremony not because she wants to help Paul fulfill the prophecy but because she's forced to: do this or die. And even then, the old Reverend Mother had to use the Voice on her to get Jessica to drink.
That all changes when Jessica nearly dies during the ceremony. After that, Paul becomes more wary of embracing the prophecy, and she just throws herself into it. Paul nearly loses his mother (and his unborn sister) to a painful, agonizing poison - mere hours/days after losing his father and all their friends/allies to the Harkonnen slaughter - and decides it's not worth it. Meanwhile, Jessica gets a direct download of memories of millennia of oppression and goes "yeah let's burn everything to the ground."
It's an interesting, quick reversal at the beginning of the second movie, and it's great.
Ooh thank you for this great ask. I can always count on you for smart and thoughtful Jessica takes!
You make a really good observation about their reversal of positions--I had been struggling to figure out how Paul's line about "I must sway the non-believers" fit into his overall arc, but you are absolutely right that this feels like a continuation of how he talks to Liet. We're seeing the first stirrings of that little "maybe I am special" thought that later takes center stage.
For most of Part Two, Paul has several reliable counterweights pulling against that streak of arrogance and high-handedness that he's had from the beginning. Jessica almost dies drinking the Water of Life, which, like you point out, has got to make him think twice about encouraging people to believe in the prophecy. Then, he spends most of the movie surrounded by Chani and her friends and comrades, who seem the most skeptical of the prophecy and also aren't going to give his ego the time of day. And at the same time, he has an opportunity to pour his desire for revenge into collective political action that seems to be making a difference.
It's only when those countervailing forces start collapsing (the people who had started out as his equals are now becoming his followers; the Harkonnens attack Sietch Tabr and other civilian population centers, proving they are far from militarily defeated; Gurney shows up and immediately offers what seems like an easy solution to their problems that only Paul can access) that the little maybe I am special voice starts winning again.
As for Jessica, her journey doesn't get as much focus in the movie but it's also fascinating. She's a great character because she is so fucking smart at navigating power structures from what seems like an unenviable position. Did she have any choice about being sent to Caladan to become Leto's concubine? I am guessing she did not. But she sure figured out how to work that situation to her advantage. It happened that along the way she and Leto came to genuinely love and respect each other. But I'm sure she would still have figured out an angle even if that had not been the case.
In Part Two she starts out in a frankly quite terrifying position: she can undergo this unknown, dangerous ritual or die, and also possibly put Paul's safety at risk by raising doubt about whether he is the Lisan al-Gaib. But after she survives the Water of Life, she is launched into a powerful position in Fremen society and pretty quickly realizes she can use that to both protect Paul and get her revenge on the people who tried to kill her whole family. And unlike Paul, she is much more cognizant of the intergalactic power structures at work and aware that the Harkonnens themselves were a pawn in all this, so her target is the Bene Gesserit and the emperor.
I would have loved more time to explore Jessica's relationship to Fremen society and her POV in general. Because in some ways she becomes as Fremen as it's possible for her to be--she has access to thousands of years of memories of Fremen history and culture and politics; she becomes instantly fluent in the language and she is immersed in Fremen daily life in the sietch. (If there's one single thing I wanted more of, it was daily life in the sietch.) But she's still the same person she was, so she hasn't lost that ability to be ruthless and calculating and see people as forces to be manipulated. In Part One, her love for Paul and Leto provided an interesting counterweight to this that allowed us to see some moments of vulnerability from her (ie. she knows Paul has to undergo the Gom Jabbar test but she's terrified for him while it's happening). In Part Two she is so isolated for most of the movie (away from Paul; surrounded by followers who were never friends; I think we can all agree that talking to your unborn fetus doesn't really count) that we don't get a lot of these more unguarded moments from her. (I would have loved some Jessica/Stilgar action and it seems like the potential was very much set up for that, but I understand why they didn't have time.)
But in general I thought they did a great job of setting up this contradictory tension between Jessica and Paul, where they both want so desperately to protect each other and they both want revenge, but the way they each go about it ends up putting them in direct conflict with each other.
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updownlately · 8 months
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'cause all of the small things that you do (are what remind me why i fell for you)
| leah williamson x reader
~~~
"You're such an idiot, you know?" Leah fondly shook her head as she bent down, head coming level with your knee.
You were sat on the bathroom counter, a fresh set of clothes finally on you, as Leah stood in between your legs, medical bag propped open beside you.
You winced as an alcohol pad came in contact with your scraped joint, hissing in pain as she tediously worked to clean the dried blood and grime scattered around it.
“Totally worth it,” you yelped in response, the midfielder having pressed directly on your wound. 
Quickly wrapping a bandage around the area she had just wiped, the blonde rose to a standing position, throwing the wrappers into the bin.
“I can’t believe you didn’t get carded…” Shaking her head in disbelief, Leah ripped open another wipe, gently tugging on your wrist after to bring your arm to your chest so she could tend to the burn on your forearm.
“The ref was blind as shit…is it really that surprising? You saw it first hand when they tackled you like three thousand times in the first half!” 
Your whiny justification brought a smile to the Englishwoman’s face, amusement poorly hidden. 
“Still not an excuse to go all Hulk on them. Had the ref been stupid they could’ve given you a red easily.” 
“Who’s to say they weren’t a complete dipshit? For all we know, they’re likely as oblivious off the field too!”
Body shaking with the effort of holding her laugh back, Leah covered her mouth with her hands in a poor attempt to hide her grin. 
“Baby, you can’t just say that…” 
“Why not? And you’re laughing!” A cheeky smile took over your face, chest filling with pride at seeing Leah’s eyes twinkle at your shenanigans. 
“Love…”
“Nope, not hearing it. Your opinion is overruled….I can totally say it and it is funny.” Tongue between your teeth, you shot the blonde a wide grin. 
Sighing in defeat, the grin not leaving her face, Leah pinched your thigh playfully and quickly finished cleaning the cut on your arm.
Reaching for bandages, she slowly began wrapping it around the decent-sized burn, tongue peeking out from behind her teeth, eyebrows furrowing as she focused on laying it flat. 
You watched the midfielder as she worked, shy smile overtaking your mischievous grin. 
Near heart-eyes on your face, you bit back your grin, chin sloping to the side in absolutely adoration.
Meeting your gaze as she finished, the blonde righted herself, head tilting as her cheeks flushed.
Rummaging through the medical kit to keep herself busy, you almost didn’t hear her quiet words over the noise of supplies being ransacked. 
“Stop looking at me like that…”
Confusion crossing your face, your voice came out equally as soft, shoulders dipping. “Like what?”
“…with that look in your eyes, like I’ve done something special…” 
The nervousness was clear in the captain’s voice, her eyes not meeting yours, hand still fidgeting. 
Slowly grabbing Leah by her shoulders, you gently turned her to face you, hands running down until you were holding hers in your own. 
Waiting for steel blue eyes to meet your own, you brought your foreheads together, pulling her in with your legs. 
“You love me everyday. You put up with my dumb butt- yellow cards, twenty something fouls, and tons of cuts and bruises on my arms, that you don’t hesitate to tend to. I’m practically a McCabe in training yet you’re not complaining.”
“Still-“ Her eyes closed, mouth forming a thin line. 
“No.”
“No?” The confused mumble had you smiling, you quickly kissing Leah’s scrunched up nose before resting your head against hers again, voice a murmur in the small space between you two.
“No. You love me always, and take care of me, and check up on me, and you let me be goofy, and eat all your snacks even if you really wanted them. You always let me sit on the right side of the couch because you know it’s my spot. You make sure my kit bag’s always packed because we both know how forgetful I am. You bring me flowers and snacks on the most randomest of days. You let me cry at the cheesiest rom-coms the world has ever known. You love me on my best and my worst days Leah. You haven’t done something special but you are something special…”
You could hear a fly drop in the silence that took over the room once you finished speaking.
Heart pounding at your own raw admission, uncertainty flickered in your eyes, body slightly tensing, waiting.
Inhaling sharply at the lack of response, you began to pull back, ready to put distance between you two, to apologize (for what, you didn't really know). 
Just as you moved back a little bit, you felt a hand come to rest on the nape of your neck, pulling you back close.
You heard the blonde swallow hard, feeling her exhale fan across your face.
“I love you…”
The quiet admission was a whisper, you feeling her lips brush your own as she spoke. 
“I know…and I love you. You’re my something special, okay?”
Feeling Leah nod in response, you placed a loving kiss on the blonde’s lips, then another, and then another. It was only when the next one was cut short by the both of you smiling, that you pulled back, resting your face in the crook of her neck, the dim light of the fading sun casting an angelic glow as you both relaxed in each other’s hold, revelling in your shared love.
You might be an idiot, but hey, at least you were an idiot in love.
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wileys-russo · 8 months
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the winner takes it all II a.russo x reader
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warning; sad world cup loss lessi hours ): got a buunch of blurb requests for various different angsty tings around the world cup loss so i have decided to just combine them all into one gut wrenching fic, so ur all welcome x
the winner takes it all II a.russo x reader 3.9K words
you were bouncing with excitement on the bus to sydney. you were in awe when you did the final stadium walk. you were fired up when the whistle blew to begin the match.
when spain scored you brushed it off, only using it to further fuel your drive to equalise. when that hadn't happened by half time, you felt the cold hand of worry start to wrap around your throat. when your girlfriend who in your opinion was one of your biggest assets toward equalizing was subbed off at the half, you tried to focus on the faith you had in your manager. your stomach dropped at the disappointed glint in alessia's eyes which she hid well behind an understanding smile, but not from you. when that was shortly followed by rach going off, you couldn't help but to let doubt creep in a little at sarina's choices.
your legs burned as you sprinted back and forth from one end of the pitch to the other, feet relentlessly pounding the perfectly manicured grass. desperate to cling onto anything, any chance of a goal.
when alex went down your heart lurched into your throat, aggression of the game growing as tackles became sloppier from both sides. still, you pushed forward with everything you had.
two minutes to go and you once more felt the cold hand of worry squeezing around your neck, tighter and tighter as each second passed where a goal wasn't landed. your lungs burned and muscles screamed for any sort of respite but still you refused to give in, in utter disbelief that this was how your tournament was going to end. you were absolutely gut wrenchingly crushed by the time that final whistle eventually blew. you collapsed to the floor, head buried in your hands and fingers blocking your ears, desperate to drown out the noise of the loss. blades of grass tickled at your nose as your chest heaved with silent sobs and you squeezed your eyes shut, willing the hot burning tears carving their way down your cheeks to just go away.
you felt hands on your back, slender fingers wrapping around your wrists and pulling you to sit up, lotte tugging you into her arms and whispering in your ear just how well you played as you buried your face in her shoulder, body wracked with the bitter salty tears you could no longer choke back.
after a brief pause from reality in her embrace you settled, pulling away and using your jersey to wipe your tears, the taller girl pressing a caring kiss to the side of your head before moving on to console the rest of the team.
if you thought the pain of the loss was bad, it was nothing compared to the punch in the stomach felt at seeing the look of sheer utter defeat slapped on your girlfriends face. you wasted no time moving toward her, ignoring the agonizing pain in your legs, hell you'd crawl to her if you had to. your eyes met just moments before you wrapped one another in a bone crushing hug, both mumbling to one another sweet affirmations of your performances and obvious condolences for one another's losses, you knew alessia's stung just that little bit more, overthinking if things could have been different had she been given the chance to contribute more.
not yet out to the general public and neither of you particularly wanting to be the face of tomorrow's papers you forced yourselves to pull away, but not before you reached up to gently wipe away a few stray tears from the blondes face with the pad of your thumb.
alessia so badly wanted to kiss you, to just wrap herself in your little bubble of love and comfort and just fade away from the bitter reality you were both co existing in, but just like you she knew now wasn't the time or the place.
you both wasted no time then moving to mary's side, the keeper crumpled in a ball on the ground with her head hung in her hands, choking back her own sobs. you murmuring how proud she should be as alessia rubbed her back, rachel and lucy tried to gently encourage her to stand up on her feet.
swallowing your pity the team gathered for one last lap of the pitch, clapping with forcefully broken smiles, eyes shining with pain and crushing disappointment but never missing the time to thank your supporters for being by you the whole time regardless. the rest of the ceremony flew past in the blink of an eye and before you could even blink you were all silently packing up your kit bags and filing out of the change room for the very last time.
the distance echos of celebration and whoops of joy from your opponents were not lost on your ears from the other end of the hall. neither was how heavy the second place medals felt hanging around your neck, tokens which should represent your pride in how far you'd progressed now only existing as reminders of what could have been.
you and alessia sat together on the bus back to the hotel, her head slumped on your shoulder, your hands intertwined as you ran your thumb soothingly over her knuckles. you'd seen a few tears slip from her eyes during the medal ceremony, stifled with a bite of her lip and more self control than anyone would ever know, but you knew the striker was making a point of holding back.
your pain eased a little when you arrived to the hotel and were all quickly whisked away to the function room by the staff, your friends and family greeting you with a symphony of cheers, hugs and chants of praise which rained down upon your tired and aching bones, and everything for a brief moment was okay.
your girlfriend wordlessly handed you a glass of wine, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead and slipping away to spend some time with her family as you did the same, seeking solace in the arms of your mother and siblings, relishing in the innocence and love from your four year old niece, your last name splayed across her back tugging on your heart strings as you spun her around the dance floor.
as it ticked into the early hours of the morning you all danced and drank and slipped into a sweet sense of false security that maybe, just maybe, this would have been the same celebration you'd had if you'd won.
it was nearing two in the morning when you felt alessia's hand on the small of your back, the taller girl hugging you tightly as her chin rested on your shoulder, quietly asking if you were coming back to the room with her as you nodded.
your family having dipped out around an hour ago to put your niece to bed you both made your rounds of goodbyes, laughing at her brothers as they twirled you both around in tight bear hugs, reveling in the sincere smiles it elicited from the two of you.
the process taking about a half hour you were both finally stood together in the elevator, heads buzzing lightly from the alcohol as you leaned into each other in a comfortable silence, eyes half lidded as exhaustion began to sink back in.
having showered after the game you both slipped out of your tracksuits and into much comfier clothes to sleep, wordlessly trading hoodies and inhaling the familiar comfort of one another's perfume before the taller girl settled between your legs with a brush in her hand.
you combed out the tangles in her long blonde hair, mumbling that she needed to stop putting it up into a bun whilst damp with a gentle kiss to the back of her neck, plaiting it softly before you squeezed her shoulders to let her know you were done.
using your knees as leverage she pushed herself up to her feet, making her way to her own side of the bed and flicking off the light as you shuffled back and sunk into the mattress, pulling up the blanket for alessia to sneak in beside you.
you both wasted no time intertwining your limbs, alessia's legs slotting inbetween your own as your arms snaked around her, the blondes nose tucking itself into your neck with a gentle exhale, one hand tangling itself into your hair as her nails scratched at your scalp, your own digits tracing absent minded shapes down her spine as your hand tucked up the back of her hoodie.
soft i love you's were the only words exchanged among a few lazy kisses, both of you far too tired and bodies screaming for sleep as you drifted off wrapped up in one anothers tender embrace.
~
a few hours later you stirred slightly and reached out for your girlfriend but your eyes slowly fluttered open when your hands only clasped onto cold sheets.
"less?" you called out groggily, rubbing tiredly at your face as you sat up and let your eyes adjust to the darkness of the hotel room.
glancing to the side you saw the alarm clock blink that it was 4:43am and you frowned, calling out again for your blonde lover but getting nothing in response. rolling out of bed you wiped the sleep from the corner of your eyes with the sleeves of your hoodie.
your girlfriend a good half a foot taller than you they hung well past your hands, her limbs longer than your own you often teased they'd grown too fast for her to catch up, the poor girl as clumsy as a baby deer on ice. 
your worry grew as you checked the bathroom and she still wasn't there, though it was then that you noticed the slight crack in the balcony door, it left just ajar. you slid it open and poked your head out, your face falling as your eyes landed on the bundle of limbs and blonde hair rocking herself back and forth in the corner.
"oh baby." you exhaled softly as her head twisted up to look at you and you stepped properly outside, noting the tears pouring out of her blood shot eyes as she held out her arms expectantly. as you stepped closer the girls hands grabbed at your hoodie, fisting the material tightly and tugging you down to sit on top of her.
"oh lessi baby." you sighed out as her ocean blue orbs welled up with tears, your hands coming to rest either side of her face as she looked up at you, absolutely broken as she finally let out all of the emotions she'd been bottling up since that final whistle blew.
"it's okay love i'm right here, i'm right here." you repeated over and over as she buried her face in your chest, tears soaking the faded brown material of her favorite hoodie adorning your smaller frame, twisting the fabric tightly in her fists as if she was worried you'd disappear at a moments notice, her body shaking with sobs so intense it cause her shoulders to heave.
it took everything within you not to break down alongside her but you knew you needed to hold it together for the both of you right now, you'd played the full ninety minutes and needed to be grateful for that. 
that opportunity was ripped away from the love of your life and right now that was all clearly coming crashing down on her as she mumbled that she should have ran faster, should have cleared more passes, made more crosses, shot more, done more.
you knew there wasn't much use in disagreeing with her but still you tried to soothe the sting of her plaguing insecurities with sweet nothings mumbled into her hair as you rubbed her back. 
you weren't sure how long you sat there on her lap as she clung onto you, eventually her sobs and tears turning into slight hiccups and sniffles as the sun began to rise and you gently whispered that the two of you should try to get a few hours of sleep before you'd need to be up and leaving for the airport.
you felt her nod lightly and slid off of her, standing to your feet and offering her your hand which she accepted. "wait here baby." you lead her inside and urged her to sit on the edge of the bed, gently prying her hands off of you and bringing them to your mouth with a soft kiss.
the girl watched on as you slipped into the bathroom, grabbing what you needed and quickly returning to her side where once again she latched onto you. you pressed a caring kiss to her lips before showing her what you'd brought back with you and you smiled softly as her eyes welled up with tears again, overcome with love for how deeply you cared for her.
wiping away her tears with your sleeves you stood in between her legs, tenderly kissing her forehead as her eyes slid close and you began to do her skincare routine, you'd memorized each step with the upmost precision, having watched the older girl go through the motions almost every night since you'd started seeing one another.
finishing up you stole a kiss and mumbled against her lips for her to get back in bed as you ducked off to put everything back where you'd taken it from. when you returned she was curled up in the blankets, only the top of her head poking out as you re-locked the balcony door, drawing the shades and setting an alarm on your phone for in a few hours time.
slipping back into bed beside her you wrapped your arms tightly around your girlfriends torso, the blonde tossing around onto her other side so she could press her face tightly into your neck, fists again balling your top and tugging your body as close into her own as you could physically get.
you rubbed soothingly at her back and whispered sweet nothings into her ear until you felt her hold loosen a little and her breathing even out, finally drifting off into a restless sleep as you closed your eyes and eventually did the same.
~
the mood was tense as the team stood in sydney airport awaiting their flight to board, you'd all plastered fake smiles onto your faces and waved till your hands ached as you were cheered all the way to the gate.
but now you couldn't help but feel like a fish in a tank as onlookers gathered just outside the check in desk, oggling for a glance at the squad who almost won the whole world cup.
but it wasn't the fans who were causing the main issues, it was the media.
it was the middle aged men in chinos, volleys and dark graphic t-shirts asking ridiculous questions to try and illicit a reaction, hurrying from player to player reeking of desperation as they angled for any sort of click bait title for a trashy article they could scrounge up, like vultures picking at a roadkill carcus.
thankfully with media training on lock and a few members of security shouldering them out of the way you all made it to the gate mostly unscathed.
you were stood in a small huddle with alessia, ella, lotte, lucy and jordan, making polite small talk about your plans for the brief break before the wsl season was due to start, preseason having already commenced for your respective teams.
you watched on carefully as ella stepped away as soon as the topic shifted to the oncoming club season, a soft frown creasing your features as you shared a look with mary who walked off after her.
both of you were aware of how the transfer was affecting her,  it likely suddenly feeling very real now that you were all out of the bubble of denial that was camp in australia, all now needing to scatter to different places throughout the world.
"you alright baby?" you quietly asked alessia who was sat down on her suitcase, resting her chin on the handle. "m'fine." the blonde mumbled back and you nodded, not pushing her for anything further knowing she was exhausted and still quite upset, the two of you having another tear filled cuddle this morning once your alarm had gone off.
"he's still watching us." alessia grumbled as she glanced off to the side, yourself and lotte looking over your shoulders to see the same man from the daily mail who'd been following you since you stepped foot in the airport loitering around with his camera in hand.
"they're so relentless its vile." lotte muttered as you hummed in agreement. "less do you-" you started to ask if she wanted anything to drink but your words fell short seeing the blonde had her face buried in her hands, trying to wipe away the tears which threatened to spill over.
"oh love." you sighed, placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently as she peered out of her hands with a broken look. "oh for fuck sakes he's recording now, of course." alessia shoved your hand off and turned her head away, you swallowing the pang in your heart as she did and instead turning around to shoot a filthy glare towards the paparazzi who paled at the murderous look on your normally calm and soft features.
"ignore him, he's a prick." you sighed, moving your body so that your back blocked her from being filmed any further, lotte squeezing in beside you to give the blonde as much privacy as possible as she quietly excused herself to use the bathroom, hurrying off still furiously wiping at her eyes with her sleeves.
"hey, you okay?" lotte bumped her shoulder into yours with a small smile, the two of you hadn't grown up together as her and alessia had, but having played for arsenal together for several years now you looked to the brunette as a sister of sorts and the two of you cared quite deeply for one another.
it was all the more reason alessia and yourself had fallen so head over heels, lotte in both of your ears about how sweet of a couple you'd make, unknown to the both of you having been gunning to get you two together for many many months before it finally happened.
"no, you?" you smiled honestly, lotte chuckling and giving you the same answer back. "soon enough we'll be back home and your biggest worry will be avoiding the balls kicked at your head by katie and jen when you run your mouth onruststoker." lotte grinned, your eyes rolling at her nickname for you which you'd eventually harassed viv into translating the dutch for you since lotte refused to give you the satisfaction, it meaning troublemaker.
"do you and less have plans to go away at all before preseason? or should i say before i have to deal with the two of you being atattched at the hip every single day." lotte asked as you noticed your girlfriend return from the toilet, making her way over to her best friend who was sat hunched over with mary, alessia sitting on her other side and slinging an arm over ellas shoulder clearly leaning in to talk to her.
"don't be silly, i'll always make time for my work wife." you winked and nudged her as she playfully rolled her eyes. "and now we can go on double dates instead of me having to third wheel you and tao or being dragged along on your disgustingly cute bike rides." you were now the one to roll your eyes.
"but no not really, we're just spending a few days with our families." you answered her, not having the chance to take the conversation further as your flight was called and it was as if the team breathed a collective sigh of relief as they all began to board, filing down the tunnel toward the private plane which was to be the first flight of three.
~
you slipped your headphones on over your ears as they dimmed the lights in the cabin, you'd all been flying for a few hours now and as part of the jetlag plan set in by the staff you knew you all now needed to readjust back out of the australian time zone so despite it being midday it was important you all did your best to sleep.
well, most of you. 
the plane had all but split into two, those who wanted to chat seated up front together in pairs while the rest of you who wanted to sleep took up the back. you were seat buddies with mary, the two of you having flown together on the way as well both appreciating the long flight as a chance to catch up on a lack of sleep from the excitement of a pre cup camp.
your girlfriend was again seated with ella and you'd left her to it, knowing there were conversations the two of them would need to have during the last of their time together before for the first time in several years they'd not be returning together to manchester together.
but that exact fact is why you jumped in surprise as a soft hand landed on your knee and you opened your eyes to see the taller blonde squatted down beside you. "you alright?" you asked tiredly, having been asleep the last few hours and with a quick glance around it seemed almost all of the girls still were, you weren't brave enough to check the time, knowing you still had a long way to fly.
"i can't sleep, i need you." was all that she muttered in a small voice before motioning for you to scoot over, slotting her body in beside yours, the two of you wriggling around until you found a somewhat comfortable position squished into the single seat together.
"i love you." you whispered quietly, pressing a few sweet kisses to her lips as she echoed those 3 words back to you before encouraging her to try and sleep as she tucked her head into your neck, your nails scratching softly at her scalp where her hair was scraped back into a messy bun. 
"oi what are you-" mary slid down her eye mask and glared toward you, ready to tell you off for the noise of your shuffling around but her eyes softened seeing the two of you curled up together, sending you a smile and a nod before tucking her airpods back in.
"thank you amore mio." you felt the striker mumble into your collarbone as she kissed gently at your exposed skin. "for what?" you whispered back, digits still messing with her hair as hers had snuck up your jumper, tracing circles on your ribs. 
"just being here, being you. you're just...my person, and i love you for it." alessia shrugged lightly and you swooned, a slight rosy pink blush covering your cheeks, alessia glancing up and noticing with a smile, placing a tender kiss to your jaw.
"my best girl." she whispered lovingly, squeezing you a little tighter as mary grumbled a gentle warning for the chatter and you both shared a much lighter smile, your presence allowing alessia to finally let down her walls as she pressed her face into your shoulder and closed her eyes, both of you lulling the other off to sleep with the comfort of one anothers ever present love.
you might not have won the world cup, but you still had one another and were about to embark on a whole new journey together, and though the pain of that bitter loss would hang around for awhile, so long as alessia had you by her side she knew each day it would get a little easier.
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sh1-n0bu · 1 year
Note
scara’s electro mark on the back of his neck would totally be an erogeneous/sensitive spot and no one can change my mind<3
✿ 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨, 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨 ✿
characters: scaramouche/wanderer x nb!reader
warnings: fluff, light angst, reverse comfort, takes place after scara’s defeat, slight body dysmorphia and mentions of self harm, soft scara🥹
notes: honestly same tho. and as someone who has a very sensitive neck, i absolutely know how he would feel like lmao
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scaramouche hated the mark.
it’s hideous, disgusting, wrongly shaped to signify his failure as a puppet, the reason for him to get disregarded but moreover an eternal reminder of his mo- no. his creator.
wanderer hated the mark on the back of his neck.
no matter what happens, he always tries to keep in hidden, away from prying curious eyes. buried deep under layers upon layers of clothes to at least pretend that the mark is non-existent.
sometimes he would even end up clawing, scratching or even cutting at the small part on the back of his neck as if trying to cut out the electro symbol, carved deeply into his flesh since his creation. but the bloody marks, bruises and scars would end up healing faster than than normal due to him being a puppet of a god.
never leaving a scar. never leaving a mark. just the damned, cursed motherfucking purple electro symbol left behind. shining proudly and perfectly as if trying to mock him.
and this time it was no different. the young puppet sitting on the edge of your shared bed with a frown and a glare. hands twitching, waiting, wanting, wishing to reach out and claw at the symbol again.
taking a deep breath in and letting it out after a while, wanderer slightly shook his head. no. he shouldn’t harm himself any further. you would be sad once you find his neck angry, bleeding red with scratch marks and dried blood under his fingernails. he would hate to make you sad.
letting out a heavy sigh, the young man laid down on the bed, facing away from you- feeling ashamed about thinking of harming himself and breaking your promise.
sucking in a short breath, jolting harshly when arms came to wrap around his middle suddenly, pulling his smaller frame closer to cuddle with his back to your chest.
wanderer loved this feeling. being wrapped securely around you, feeling your warmth seep into his own cold skin, warming his body, warming his heart. the feeling of your heartbeat thrumming in a repeated rhythmic way against your ribcages, the feeling of the thumps against your chest soothing his pain, easing his own non-existent empty heart, pouring into the hollowness of his chest and filling it to the brim with your own.
wanderer loves you.
but sometimes he can’t help but scowl at you- more of a pouting- when you lean down and place a small peck against his electro symbol. face flushing in embarrassment, eyes narrowing back at you in a faux anger- a poor attempt to hide the small glimmer in his eyes- pouted lips twitching to try and control his muscles from forming a smile.
fortunately he always loses in this silent battle between you two. letting out a huff with mutterings of “you’re so clingy” or “you’re hopeless” slipping out from his lips which is already starting to curve up into a smile.
yes, the puppet loves you. hopelessly so.
shuddering with a suppressed groan when the short man felt your lips against the back of his neck once again, pressing on the electro symbol. a quiet, poorly attempted muffled chuckle falling from his mouth when you continue to press kisses against his neck, one hand coming up to rest on your hair- slightly tussling them in the process.
“yours. not hers” when wanderer heard that phrase muttered from you, he felt himself softly smiling. eyes crinkling upwards, lips forming a smile with his cheeks turning even more red.
yes. wanderer loves you so.
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gangplanksorenji · 3 months
Text
Kinknuary Day 17: Brat Taming 
Pairing: Choi Yena x Male Reader
Word Count: 5,832
[Kinknuary Masterlist]
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You can’t always get what she wants and she can’t always get what she needs—these two clauses never contradict as it's different in each way yet aimed towards the same intent: fulfillment.
Choi Yena is a girl you’d watch yourself into, as she’s the living definition of a brat, in your own words. Not really a specific brat, but she really tends to be selfish all of the time, and that isn’t really ideal considering how you’re always making her change but always ends up defeated and your advances deemed to be useless against her.
She has an iron wall that’s tough to break, but under specific circumstances, there’s always the Achilles’ heel to be used against it.
“Well, this sucks…” Yena chides boredom, sighing deeply as she’s deeply restive within the supposedly delicious food in front of the table and with her discontented countenance, you advance to confront her as you’re confused on why she’s acting like this.
“Don’t like the food, princess?”
“Nu-uh. It’s bland and soggy—look!” Yena grabs a minuscule sample of spaghetti with her fork, presenting how incredibly unacceptable it is on her own perspective as she voices out her frustration with it, and you, absolutely stunned with her complaints as you don’t see anything wrong with the food presented.
“Oh yeah, I forgot—should’ve treated you to eat some gold, huh?” You batted out a joke towards her, in which she took it a little seriously, punching your shoulder playfully as her pouts emanated such strong channels of chagrin, not satisfied with the meal she’s been supposedly enjoying.
“Yah! I’m not like that, but I’d like to eat something way better than this…”
Of course, she’ll be luring you into another set of her tricks, opting for you to fall down of her trap but with two years and a half of being with her, you knew exactly what she’s up to for you to fulfill her wants. You read her mind like a book but of course, you’ll choose to play along with her game to bait her and let her be the victim of her own medicine.
“Like what?” You feign such fake innocence, in which Yena takes as an opportunity to voice out her naughty desires and just like that, she stepped into your trap.
“Like daddy’s—” You tighten the grip of her wrists under the table, making her wince in pain as you stop her from her advances of such dirty talk in public.
“You know what Yena, just eat your goddamn food and we’ll get out of here, okay?” You grew impatient with her own antics, making her opt to the possible endgame before the anticipated climax soon.
“But I don’t like it! I don’t like it!” Yena whimpered as she didn't like the words that came out of your mouth and knowing that you’re setting her up to further make her miserable, she stepped up and voiced out her frustrations towards you and you’re not absolutely having it. “I won’t bother finishing these—”
“Alright then, Yena…” You averted your attention onto finishing the food on your plate as your demeanor became stern and commanding and Yena’s face suddenly feigned fear and anxiety, not wanting what may happen next. “It’s just fair to not reward my princess something if she didn’t finish her food.”
Yes, you read her like a goddamn book and guess what, it’s working more than well. Knowing how insatiable you are for her that can’t bear to not be rewarded with your load for a day says a lot, and she’s willing to do everything just to get that desired prize of hers that you would love to use as an advantage against her—Yena’s kryptonite that will flick a switch inside her, making her reevaluate her own selfish decisions.
“Okay then, daddy…”
Well, if she’s willing to provoke the sleeping beast inside you, then you’ll let her, because at the end of the day, you know that she’ll regret it and will absolutely be damned to be punished and used, like the slutty brat she always became, all for you.
---
Royalties and class, two things that exude Yena as every movement of hers is either sophisticated, intense disgust or her own primal needs taking over her. Limited choices yet it doesn’t matter, because it will revolved around that and it will never change—maybe when you’ve fucked something out of her, then maybe the stars will re-align but chances would be slim to none.
There’s no fucking chance in this planet she’ll be able to make others bear her bitchy, bratty attitude and you are the only worthy to handle her as you know exactly how to make her be yours and to tame that living beast inside her, even if it means to do the nastiest things to her.
Well, that won’t be the case for now but knowing how she’s luring you into a challenge, really makes everything inside you be in that state of fury as her words captivate you and turn you on, and it’s damn dangerous to be this riled while driving on a high-speed highway.
Guess the feelings are mutual between the both of you; she can pick the locks inside you as much as you can with hers, and it’s not even close to exert much effort.
“Yena, you know we can’t—not here, princess, alright?” You peacefully pointed out how risky and not suitable for you to really do this, let alone doing such a sinful act on a highway even though it’s just the both of you that will be blessed by the sight.
Not really surprised about her responsive actions of your denial, and you’d love to see that knowing how her frustration and the needy sounds she makes sends you into a state of delight. “Come on, daddy! You’re no fun!”
Yena pouts as she faces you, frustrated with your own selfish acts of your definition of fun as she crosses her arms right after, letting you know how she seriously wants this.
“If you want us to crash because of your selfish needs to blow my dick, then sure, Yena.” With your encouraging words with sarcasm laced on it, Yena faced you with a glare as you can see it evident on your peripherals. As much as you don’t want to, you might just give it a shot and to maybe even risk your life in terms of a pleasurable service and to literally just make Yena shut up with your own length inside her bratty mouth.
“You’re just playing with me, daddy—I know you—”
“Do you want to blow my dick or not? ‘Cause I’m getting pretty impatient, Yena.” You stated, your tone demanding and laced with subtle rage as you continue to drive, unfazed with her own presence that will soon draw onto your own treasured prize and given the green light, she acted up immediately and didn’t waste any of your time. Drawing her attention towards your clothed nether region, her hands then hastily finds its way onto the button of your pants while carefully not hitting anything, and with her subtle touch makes you lose a hint of focus yet you fight it as the last thing you would want to see is crashing on a highway. Carefully unbuttoning your pants and bringing them onto your knees, her eyes lit up in excitement as she can see your member getting erected and that’s all because of her.
“Ooh, getting turned on I see, hm, daddy?” Yena delightfully mocks you as steam comes out of your nose, a bit annoyed with her current antics as there’s no in any planet you would deny how it’s not her fault that you’re getting this hard.
“Then do something about it and don’t kill us, Yena.” She then resumes her advances of undressing your final clothed defense, finally freeing your throbbing length from its prison and she is met with your member, her eyes now lit in awe yet a click of your tongue makes her stop. “Five minutes only.”
Yena whimpers as she looks at you deeply with her signature duck pout, making you rethink your decision as she persuades you with all her might. “Please, can it be longer, daddy? Please, please?”
Even if she bats out her hundred of pleas you will just ignore it as a brat doesn't deserve such reward—she should be grateful instead of complaining but you know that girls like her will be rewarded truly if they earned it, and this is probably just one of the few tests you have in plan.
Guess, you’ll be just the judge while your mind’s focused on driving straight for the both of you to not crash and god, you’re really fighting for it.
Maybe you’ll be the one who’s going to be tested as it’s all deteriorating once she laid her soft lips onto the head of your shaft, as you give in the pleasure yet focus on the highway.
Five minutes—five goddamn minutes.
---
“Kneel down, princess.”
“Yes, daddy…” Yena immediately obliged your command as her face anticipates what you may have in store, her eyes glistening with need and lust that no one can define, maybe not even herself can.
Of course, she won’t be leaving your place without a load dumped inside her or painted on her because of how addicted she is to you and how she’s always a victim of indulging towards her primal desires the second you’re within the vicinity of her sight.
She’s crazy about you as much as you are towards her but Yena’s just on a whole new level—way above the charts of your expectations and it’s not really surprising at this point.
In most terms, she’s always been a pain in the ass the deal with, even with your entire length plunged inside her, she can’t seem to really change her bratty demeanor, like it’s glued onto her by default and it’s bittersweet—bitter in annoyance and sweet because you love taming her, getting the absolute value of each others’ needs.
Even without serving her desired prize on her speedway blowjob earlier, her eyes are still refulgent with anticipation and eagerness—not to mention how she complains so much when her time is up and without a load deep down her throat, completely opposing her current needs for you.
“You better finish what you’ve started earlier alright, princess?” You relax onto the cold, marble wall as Yena nods eagerly, and then advance her way onto your fully-erect length as she eyes it like her favorite meal and with a mischievous smirk planted onto her mouth and her evil eyes, you know exactly how she’ll start this off. You moaned almost inaudibly once her soft, plump lips became in contact with your swollen head and right from the start, her masterclass is absolutely at its peak finest.
Her mouth is one of your treasure features of her, not just by the fact that you could embrace yourself to initiate such a torrid kiss with her but it’s just the fact on how soft they are that it’s just sculpted perfectly to service gratification to you, not even including her sinful gags and the vacuum-like suction that makes up the elements of a mind-boggling blowjob that she always excels at.
Speaking of oral talents, she has it all, and maybe even multiple.
“Keep doing that, princess… Keep t-that mouth all the way in.” Even if it spirals out of control, you’ll be cursed to encourage her ultimately as she takes your whole length slowly, ensuing a leisure bobbing that aims to build up the pleasure and your own libido. 
She didn’t gag, not yet, as she continues to reach new depths, making herself accustomed to your whole length and the inevitable snaps, gagging prematurely as she tried to keep it in without pulling out but was not deemed successful, coughing a little right after her former struggles.
She wouldn’t let herself disappoint you as she grabbed your already saliva-sheathed cock as fast as she could and directed it inside her mouth, blowing you rapidly as her thrusts in quick succession never fails to set yourself on a blissful trance. Her hands find themselves onto the porcelain skin of your thighs, caressing it to voice out how comfortable she is and the other, fondling your sensitive balls in order for better stimulation and better quality of pleasure. Simultaneous gags, drool seeping out of her mouth, tears running down her cheek and her rapid pace lives up tot eh epitome of a blowjob—and she’s cursed to be great at this.cheek and the cherry on top, her rapid pace that adds up to the filthiness of a sinful image she’s been into and god, if you could just take a picture of this, let along record this as a video, you’ll absolutely do it but getting occupied by Yena’s soft lips and tight throat would be just better than anything that can bother you in this world, and you leave it as it is.
Her head frantically bobs like she’s set to hypnotize you as her techniques really live up to her title, every movement she does to stimulate you is making you feel way better than the previous, and it’s really working more than well. She constantly slurps as more drool seeps out of her hungry mouth, also a way to voice out her utter satisfaction with being rewarded with an insatiable candy that she can’t get enough of. Because of her great work between your legs, you dive into the inevitable bliss as your hands find their way to her vibrantly pink locks, grabbing a fistful of it to form a makeshift ponytail in order for you to have such strong leverage to guide her and fight for the utmost gratification.
Of course, she knows what you’ll end up into once she felt your hands on the back of her constantly bobbing head: she could only anticipate it as you hips will gradually thrust into her suffocatingly tight throat, craving for more to the point that you’ll give in and fuck her face rapidly.
She knows you and reads you like a book—again, feelings are mutual, as well as your needs towards each other.
There’s no point in not giving in to using her mouth like a fleshlight, because it’s literally what she’s built for: to take the entirety of your length to the point of no-return and absolutely giving everything you want—what your hips can muster.
“I might need to fuck that bratty mouth of yours princess, you wouldn’t mind it, won’t you?” Your sinister tone makes her apprehensive yet nonetheless, she trusts you with all her might—and you won’t dare to break that—as she nods eagerly, her eyes begging for the absence of your mercy in order to use her mouth with what might you can as she wants it badly. 
“Oh, so you want it this badly, huh?” With her slow bobs, you groan with the pleasure she’s giving yet time wouldn’t be wasted as you grip her hair and make her look up at you, your tone now laced with the utter need of voicing out her primal desires. “Then say how badly you want this, princess”
With more greedy bobs onto your rock-hard shaft, she immediately pulls out as so, and let her lips release such wanton profanities that absolutely will arouse the living beast inside of you. “I w-want you to ram on m-my slutty throat, daddy—”
“How hard, princess?” It was a sudden response, aiming to mutter up an answer escaping her lips on her possible wants of your treatment towards hers.
“Want you t-to fuck my throat like h-how I deserve it…” She trembles between divisible of her own lustful words, the utter nervousness and adrenaline kicking in as she continues stating her needs. “Want t-to feel daddy’s c-cock ramming on my t-throat because of how m-much of a slut I am.”
Good thing she knows what she is and what she came to, at this moment. Given on how sincere she is in every word she says as her tone really pleads you to service her throat, states on how she badly desires her close-to-an-ultimate prize (punishment on you own perspective) and without wasting any second, you opted to give her what she wants and to full indulge to your own carnal desires.
“Okay, princess, hands behind your back—” You command her as you grow impatient with her lustful talks, wanting to make her struggle in the best way possible—also, you would not want to hurt her in the process—and to build up the rising climax of her anticipation. “—and your head up.” Of course, your hands aren’t idle enough to just appreciate the beauty of her waiting to be ruined, as you hands force its way onto the back of her head again yet this time, you grip onto her semi-disheveled pigtails, wanting to use them as handlebars and a leverage on what you're about to do to her—maybe she purposely tied her hair this way, knowing that she’ll maybe get her mouth fucked half open.
If this is what she wants, then she’ll get it but you should let her know why this all started: it’s all because of aiming to tame her properly and if your words can’t do it, then sure, maybe your cock will do the talking.
You don’t even need to command Yena to open her mouth as she does it involuntarily, begging you for more until it was all unable to beared and contained, letting everything but indulged within and you can just see your whole length being submerged into the depths of her mouth, taking more and fully encouraging you to even go deeper. The incredible suction of her cheeks never fails to bewilder you, let alone diving deeper as every inch of her walls results in marvelous groans of pleasure because of the warmth and the right tightness of it. You gave Yena’s mouth few thrusts to get herself used on your whole length again—in a better view, she doesn’t really need that since she’s sucking and getting her mouth used by you very often that it’s started to molded onto the shape of your cock—wanting her to feel every inch of it brushing down her throat as she gags when it hits the back of her throat. She fights it with all her might this time, and when you notice her gag reflex calming down, now’s the time to use the pliant princess’s heavenly throat like how she deserves it.
How does she deserve it? Well, it’s only a matter of time for her to find out.
With now a better feeling from both parties, your hips now ensued such a breakneck pace, catching her off-guard. Yena almost breaks herself free but knowing that if she does, she will be in big trouble and be prone to a worse punishment in which she wouldn’t want to. With that in mind, she fights herself onto your rapid usage of her whole throat as drool inevitably seeps out of her mouth, coating everything in its vicinity with her saliva that further adds to the lubrication with your ruthless advances. You tighten the grip on her hair, causing to add more mess to her already disheveled locks as you continuously rammed her throat like you want to prove something—you don’t need to prove anything but rather, prove herself worthy of your mercy.
“Is this what you fucking wanted, Yena? Your f-face to be fucked like a-an animal?” It’s a rhetorical question but an evident nod ensued right after, noticing it even with your rapid pace trying to open up Yena’s throat as you could find yourself getting harsher with one goal in mind: to tame her and possibly, fuck that brattiness out of her brat mouth.
You didn’t just mindfully thrust your hips like you’re in autopilot, but rather set series of forceful deepthroats, filling every inch of her slutty throat up to the brim, balls-deep and then resuming back onto thrusting—it repeats like a cycle, and that’s part of the plan: foreplay, to be build the suspense and then suddenly go berserk. You playfully tug her hair in order to force her down and then taking your entire length with thrusts ensued on a quick succession, each oscillation hits her saliva-sheathed chin with your own balls as the audible sounds of such skin clapping is arousing you even further.
“Fuck—this bratty throat feels good—can’t wait to even feel more of you, princess—fuck!” You continue to give her ruthless thrusts, breaking the velocity barrier your hips can muster as you pull out of her mouth and not surprisingly, she gasps for heavy breaths and multiple coughs because of your harshness down her throat.
“G-God, daddy—t-that was s-so good—hah, y-you’re going t-to make my throat sore…” Yena muttered between catching breaths and a broken voice, truly making you admire the masterclass you’ve done that she surely loved.
“Of course—need this fucking throat to teach a lesson.”
“A l-lesson? Am I the n-naughtiest student you’ve ever seen, d-daddy?” Yena seduces you with her vixen capabilities and her honey-laced words dripping with lust, and it forces you to sully her again, specifically her mouth.
“You know the answer to that, princess.” Yena looks up with you with a smirk, her mischievous plan starting to come together as she bites her lips and moaned uncontrollably, your hands finding its way on caressing her perky yet voluptuous mounds as you aimed to weaken her until she’s about to be fully submissive. With her hands still on her back, she can’t help herself to fight the pleasure as she can only just whimper and close her eyes, letting the serotonin course down her veins as every second that passes is fully treasured by the bratty princess in front of you.
“I would have used your throat more harshly but bad brats like you don’t deserve to swallow my cum—not even a single ounce of it.” Your hands then palmed her cheek as your fingers caressed it right after, admiring the sullied countenance of Yena’s face that deserves to be at the hall of fame on how it perfectly depicts the oxymoron, “the ruined goddess”.
“Brats need to be punished for being such a bitch and if my words can’t tame you—” Your suspenseful tone is intimidating her, sending chills down her spine as every word you say is laced with sincerity and full on lust. Her mouth shivers when she feels your hand teasing her cheek with your throbbing length, and it’s just becoming better for now considering how you’re building up such a stupendous anticipation that anyone can hook onto, even the both of you. “—then maybe my cock will.” 
You slap your length onto her cheek, making her yelp a little as you command her to stand up, her immediately obliging to your imperative advances, even with a visible struggle because of her lack of balance. 
“Sit here and wait for me, okay? I’ll get something and don’t you dare move away from this position.” You glared at her as she nodded slowly, her mouth curling up onto a smile as her eyes glistened with her own desires, only thinking further of what you may have in store for her.
---
“Wear it, Yena.”
“But don’t I look silly, daddy?”
“Just fucking wear it—it’ll be good on you…” You grow impatient with her complaints as she does what she’s requested to do, as she wears the belt-like leather collar around her neck, her hands trembling probably from her nervousness and there’s nothing to worry about it, knowing it’ll fade faster than the speed of light. With her collar now around her neck, you commanded her to go on all her fours on the bed and again, she quickly obliged, not wanting you to wait any further. Greed consumes over you, finding its way to succumb onto your lustful needs as you line your swollen head within the emanating heat of her lower lips as she moans in every tease you do, fueling up each others’ libido. 
As much as you want to tease the living brat out of her, your aim is to fuck it out of her and you’ll do exactly what you need to.
Not wasting any second, the climax of the show starts as you penetrate her with your whole length and in response, she screams in delight because of how big you are inside her, feeling that you may destroy her guts. You easily fill her up to the hilt, burying your entire shaft inside her and then withdrawing to slam back in hard, making her cry for your mercy and to further fuck her like an animal.
The comeuppance starts, and you’re willing to teach her a lesson she wouldn’t forget—you may have done this to her a lot of times but this time, it would hit differently and you would end this session making her know who you really are to mess with.
Grateful to the helping aid of lubrication with her juices coursing down, and around your shaft, you start off with a relentless pace and don't give her time to get used to your length, wanting to make her feel your wrath and how she deserves to be treated. She further moans in every withdrawal you do as the collar helps for a better leverage onto ramming into her tight core repeatedly, and as the cherry on top, you like the muffled sounds of her chokes every time you pull the chain of the collar, you could hear her broken moans and probably, even asphyxiating her—one of her kinks is you choking her, and you’re glad to be innovative and creative on fulfilling that and knowing this, Yena appreciates this truly as she voices out to even ruin her further.
“D-Daddy—r-ruin my slu—slut pussy! I d-deserve t—to be treated l-like this—oh gosh—holy fuck!!”
You continuously do as so, and with her repeated pleas, you grew annoyed with her ebullient noises and stated your frustrations towards her. “Just s-shut the fuck up and take my cock well, princess!”
With your further attempts of silencing her with your ramming clashes against her tight pussy, you vent out your frustrations and channel everything onto your thrusts, causing her to repeatedly plead and moan because of your aggressive actions. She wanted this deserves this, so she just deserves to be fucked like a true animal. Her arms grew weaker, unable to support her upper frame due to the constant overloading of pleasure she’s been feeling and wanting to bury her head with her advances, you won’t let a single trick up her sleeve be deemed successful against you as you pulled the collar towards you, making her compose such broken melodies that reverberated around the room, and around your ears.
You can hear her cries in every thrust you do, as it’s all starting to come to the point where she’ll fully succumb to her needs and submissiveness, which is your goal before this steamy session ends. It wasn't long before you gave her round, bubble buttcheeks the hardest spanks it deserves as it became frequent all of a sudden, making her yelp and cry because of your harsh actions against her constantly-rammed backside. With now your hands fully occupied to treat her like the slut she is and like the brat she deserves, Yena can’t help but just think of your cock ravaging her tight, little cunt rapidly as it clouds her, same repeated, wanton moans are the response of your actions and knowing she wouldn’t last long at this time and with her cunt constantly clenching, you double the efforts on fucking her onto oblivion as the lustful drive in you takes over. 
“You’re about to cum, right, Yena?”
She mutters a stuttered “yes” as she nods frantically before resuming her constant moans of pleasure. “But what if I don’t want my princess to cum? Will she not cum for her daddy or will she be punished for good? Because—” You let go of the tight grip on the chains of the leather collar as you inch closely onto her ear and whispered with venom, “—if you didn’t follow me, there will be serious consequences and you won’t like that, won’t you, Yena?”
Yena’s apologetic cries can be heard laced in her agreement, scared that she may provoke you that will make her needs be deprived. “I w-will do anything f-for you, daddy but p-please—-ahh!”
You kiss her nape, and then her neck, showing your affection towards her as you worship the musky scent of her body emanating sweat, perfume and sex as you respond, “Please what, princess?”
It took seconds for Yena to respond, the gratification becoming too much to handle as she composes herself, and pleads for you. “P-Please let me cum, daddy…”
A side of you is fainthearted: wanting to not make herself be lost and want her to engage on her high as much as possible but she needs to be punished, and your conclusion with that? To fully ruin her.
Thanks to the constant lapping of her juices, it didn’t became a struggle to lubricate her puckered hole as you insert your thumb in it, opting to stimulate her further as you continued to fuck her mercilessly. It wouldn’t take long before she reaches her high with of the kinky stuff and the most stimulating advances being done all in one session as she lets out whimpers, and knowing that her high is near and you know it’ll blast like a volcano, you wouldn’t put her to torture as lean in again to her ear and then whispering again, “Then cum on my cock, princess—let it all out.”
Giving her the final thrusts with her collar as a leverage onto a greater quality of such mindless abomination of fucking, she clenched tightly as you groan because of it and within a second, she’s in her own blissful trance, moaning out your name as she voices out her ecstasy.
“D-Don’t s-stop fucking me, d-daddy—oh fuck—I’m c-cumming so h-hard—fuck!!”
As requested by her, you continue ramming her pussy as she climaxes beautifully, voicing out series of ecstatic moans as she forms a rivulet around your shaft, dripping it all over her thighs, your balls and some even on the bed sheets which soon will be changed because of how filthy and messy it would be after the both of you are done. You continue oscillating at such an incredible pace that you didn’t mind making her recover on her high, making her yell in pleasure and utmost sensitivity. With a ruthless pace, of course, you didn’t ignore the chains as you pulled
“Are y-you close, daddy? Please c-cum inside m-me—fuck, p-please, daddy—ahh—mmfh-ahh!”
“Don’t tell me what to do, slut!” Of course, after her ephemeral orgasm, you resume onto your harshness, spanking and fondling her mounds as you draw circles down her taut buds, making her whimper because of the pleasure and sensitivity. You grew frustrated and enough of her bratty actions of eternal need as you choke her a little with the collar, further ramming into her tight cunt repeatedly as her thighs now quiver, her limbs growing weaker and letting herself succumb onto your own spell, hypnotizing her with the rapid sounds of bodies clashing together that adds up to the sea of sinful sounds that’s been kept inside this puny room right from the start.
Now chasing your own orgasm and to further commit onto fucking that living brat out of her body, you gave in to your primal desires, fucking each other like animals as within a few thrusts or seconds from now, it won’t be long until you meet yourself onto the promised land—in the possibly eternal state of bliss.
Now, having enough of the collar, you pull her hair as you draw yourself closer to your own orgasm, wanting to make sure that you’ll have one hell of a climax. You repeatedly spank her to further arouse yourself onto the hypnotizing jiggles of that porcelain flesh, making you indulge and draw yourself onto the red and soon enough, it wouldn’t be that long to meet it.
“I’m going to fucking c-cum in this tight, slutty, bratty pussy, alright, princess? Be sure to take it all because fuck—t-this pussy is literally the best!”
“Yes, da—daddy! Please c-cum in me—finally, p-please—ahh—mmfhh!” You continue your rapid thrusts as your fingers coursed its way onto her mouth, making her suck it as she wantonly savors your fingers like it’s your beloved shaft, sensually licking every inch clean as you buried your whole length in her, unable to pull back but just give in.
Series of thick shots flooded her velvety walls, causing her to moan on your fingers as she can feel the warmth of your semen coating each inch of her flesh white and god, she’s also in a state of bliss on how well she is filled by you. She continues sucking and you continue depositing, even thrusting slowly to extend your orgasm further and as it dies down, you leisurely pulled out—and of course, Yena whimpered because she feels empty without your whole length ravaging inside her—of the tightness of her core, a little exhausted because of your harsh work against her sopping wet cunt and what an incredible sight it bestowed you: her freshly-fucked folds full of your cum, some of it even leaking out of her due to the stupendous amount of volume deposited in it.
Guess her highfalutin came down on a sullied conclusion; it was an incredible display of a steamy session, much likely to be cherished as the once boisterous, sex-filled room has now toned down onto tranquil and silence—mostly just heavy breaths can be heard but it is close on silence.
Yena falls limp onto the bed, her back rests as her lips tremble within her voice, “Y-you c-came so much, daddy—i-it’s so thick a-and warm—hah…”
“Now, are you satisfied, princess?”
“More than t-that, daddy…” Yena voices out her utter satisfaction as her needs are now fulfilled by you and right after, she beams a bright smile onto you which makes you faintly grin in response due to her contagious happiness. 
“Also, I’m s-sorry about acting like that earlier, daddy…” You know her apologies aren’t sincere but at the same time, they are—it’s not sincere in a way that she’ll act like a spoiled brat again someday, but now, you’re glad that you’ve fucked your way to teach her a lesson—living the new, ephemeral disposition of hers that’s down-to-earth. You would treasure this truly, but Yena, on the other hand, isn’t in the same shoes with you.
“I want some more, daddy—we can experiment on anything we want, tonight because—” Yena’s hands averted onto your jaw, making you face her as she continues, “—I’m all yours, daddy.”
Seems like she needed more than what you’ve given her and with that, you’re giving her anything to the point of no-return.
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ccieatchildren · 9 months
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OKAY BUT THE CALLUM WHUMP IN THE DRAGON PRINCE SEASON 5!!!
Specifically S5 E8.
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First, just him being locked away in the captain’s cabin, isolated and tortured by Finnegrin for the dark magic info.
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And him absolutely refusing to reveal anything right now, laughing at Finnegrin for what he sees as a hypocritical thought process, because it would go against his morals and he doesn’t want to give Finnegrin the ability to kill Domina Profundis.
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Finnegrin taunting him about his dark magic usage, typical villain spiel of asking if Callum has never thought about it or wanted/needed to use it. Learning that Callum has studied it extensively (and though Callum points out that he has also studied the other types, his curiosity always seems to get the better of him) and has once used it, to save his friends. Finnegrin taking this information in and twisting it on the boy. The defeated way Callum gets pushed out by Finnegrin, seeing all his friends chained up and having to make a “decision” for Finnegrin.
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Finnegrin forcing Callum to choose one of his friends' hand to cut off. Not being able to choose anyone, and the gang standing up for each other, offering their own hands. Preaching the love and friendship deal, only to peeve off Finnegrin even more, who tries to goad Callum into using dark magic once again. You can see the way he actually thinks about it, the guilt in his eyes but also the determination to save his friends. Only for Rayla to escape, making sure to take any option for dark magic out of Callum's hands. I believe if Rayla hadn't intervened, Callum would've eventually gone through with it, as the main thing holding him back was said guilt and own mental blockage. Finnegrin then freezing Rayla's blood, putting her in excruciating pain, and Callum, doing a full 180, goes batshite over Rayla being tortured, decking Finnegrin full force in the face. He is calm when faced with his own pain, but when someone he loves is hurt, especially due to his inability to do anything, he immediately loses his temper.
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However, this small win ends them back up at square one, with Callum tied up and at the captain's mercy. When Finnegrin tells him that he's gonna feed Rayla to the leviathan, and Callum can't do anything, he immediately gives up the info, thinking that would save her. Only for Finnegrin to turn around and go "nuh-uh," completely destroying him.
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He can't even save the person he loves. Callum may have primal magic (one or two of the arcanum depending on how you want to look at it), but he still can't do anything; he is completely useless in this moment. Realizing this, all hope drains out of him, and he does the only thing he can think of, spill the beans. He begins to break his principles by telling Finnegrin the dark magic spell (one of the darkest spells at that), in hopes of him releasing Rayla, only for it to backfire and be completely for nothing. Now, not only can he not save Rayla, but now Finnegrin can kill Domina Profundis. The guilt weighs even harder on him, he has essentially doomed everyone.
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Then, Callum gets out, stands up to Finnegrin, using his own arcanum against him, gaining said arcanum at the same time (also, I just really love how he figured it out, using Finnegrin's words against him, and the idea behind the ocean arcanum is just very fun, I just really liked this moment), and save his homies.
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So, everything turns out fine, right? Nope!
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Callum had to use dark magic to get out, preforming the same snake chain spell he had before on his restraints. When he was all out of options, Callum always reverts back to what he knows, even if it might break his morals. And while this action is totally justifiable, as he basically had to, Callum doesn't really seem to see it that way. Despite knowing that there are parts of himself he can't understand, he still is riddled with grief over it. The deep pain and guilt on his face as he hugs Rayla, not telling her or anyone else what he had to do to get out, shows us that he believes he had committed a grave sin. In his eyes, he is just as bad as Viren and Claudia, and he is still dealing with the PTSD of being possessed by Aaravos, of having the chance to turn completely to the dark side. This paranoia and anxiety makes him keep everything to himself. He doesn't think they would understand or forgive him, and he doesn't think they should, as he doesn't really either.
The ocean arcanum also gives us a look into Callum. He states himself about how it is accepting the hidden depths in oneself, even if you may not truly understand it. Callum's ability and willingness to do dark magic at times is part of those deeper depths. He doesn't truly understand it yet, and may never will, but, like any other human, there are many paths for him to follow. I do not think he is truly evil, or what he has done is irredeemable, but I believe that Callum, like all of us, is neither truly good or bad, but chooses where he takes himself (we also see this with Viren throughout the season). He could become someone filled with light and kindness, a "do-gooder" if you will, which is what I believe he wants to be, but he could also lead himself down a much darker path if he isn't careful, placing himself among the ranks of Aaravos, Viren, and Finnegrin, or he could be someone who carefully struts the line in the middle. The point is that it is up to him. Though he has become in tune with the ocean arcanum and those "hidden depths," him not accurately understanding his potential for darkness could usher him into a much more disastrous existence. Hopefully linking with the ocean arcanum will allow him to slowly accept these parts of himself and find a true balance between dark and primal magic, whatever that balance may be.
(Also the implications of him being the one in the intro rather than Viren...)
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All in all, this whole episode was just very whump (even in the B plot somewhat). Callum and Finnegrin were very much whumpee and whumper -coded and you can't convince me otherwise.
The emotions in this episode for the main gang were top-notch. Watching what each character did to try to help themselves and their friends, and seeing the physical and emotional consequences of their actions (whether positive or negative) was amazing. Not just with Callum, but also the others (Ezran instantly offering himself up again and again, practically begging; Rayla breaking herself out to try and save Callum, only to be quickly and severely subdued; and Soren continuously taking the hits to help Elmer find his own worth, saving the gang in the process), was very well done.
ABSOLUTELY SCRUMDIDDLYUMPTIOUS!
I hope we get more moments like this in future seasons.
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