#absolutely sucked but like.....yeah.... i think i myself needed to go through that. i needed to learn more about myself i guess. it just | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

josephquinnswhore · 1 year

Text

Can’t Do Casual

Pairing: Ellie Williams x female reader.

Summary: you broke the only rule of yours and Ellie’s agreement, don’t get attached.

Word Count: 6.7k

Content Warning: mean Ellie, emotional unavailability, jealousy, insecurities, bisexual reader, drinking, reader gets drugged, physical fights, violence, blood, happy ending. Ellie n reader are 20.

Note: let’s enjoy, shall we? Game Ellie cause I’m obsessed with her 💜 written for @stardu5tbunny

5 MONTHS PRIOR…

“Girl slow down, we just got here! Don’t you wanna enjoy yourself?” You roll your eyes towards the blonde, her blue eyes piercing a wave of concern towards you.

You bring the cold glass to your lips, swallowing the rest of the vodka in one swift motion, the fuzziness inside of you that is your tipsiness, provides your body with a warmth that you embrace with open arms. You set the glass onto the bar and ignore your friend momentarily to order another shot.

“Another, please.” Your voice is level, your best attempt at trying to seem sober was convincing enough for the bartender to pour you another shot. You pickup the glass and walk away with it, your friend matching your pace as you lean against a pillar in the middle of the dance floor.

“I am enjoying myself,” you reply to your friends previous question, “I’m having a great night.” Your voice was slurred as the amount of liquor you’d consumed in the short amount of time had caught up to you. Your ability to think straight was further warped, already blown out after your now ex-girlfriend Jen had cheated on you with a new guy that worked at the stables, Jayden-Caden or whatever his name was.

“Just don’t make any stupid choices you’re going to regret tomorrow.” Your friend laughs, the lightness in her voice was unwavering. You roll your eyes at her antics.

“Yeah, yeah whatever. I don’t want to get involved with anyone so soon anyway.” Your eyes drifted to a girl across the bar, her short brown hair was resting above her shoulders, barely long enough to tickle the fabric of her shirt. Her brown eyes met yours and you slowly looked away brazenly, unashamed that she caught you starring.

“Is that why you’re checking out the tall brunette across the bar?” Your friend pats your back in support at your silence, confirming what she thought. You were an absolute sucker for a pretty face, and this woman was beautiful.

“I-I’m not! It was just a friendly smile, nothing more.” You dismiss quickly, your friend leans into you, breath tickling your ear as she whispers shortly, “is that why she’s walking straight toward you huh?” She leans back so she’s standing straight, downing her shot before encouraging you to do the same, which you do. The burn down your organs is a warm welcome. “I’ll leave you to it, good luck.”

She shoots you a thumbs up and walks away from you, approaching another friend of hers she’d noticed while you were basically eye-fucking the girl across the bar.

“You gonna introduce yourself or just gonna stare creepily across the bar?” She stood tall over you, her green eyes starring down at you in question.

“I-uh, yeah sorry. I’ve had too much to drink, kinda just spacing out.” It was a lie, a pathetic one at that and the girl had noticed, she raised an eyebrow at you and you realised she had a scar in her eyebrow, causing a missing line of hair through it.

“So you’re a creep and a liar?” Your jaw drops at her bluntness, yet it drew you in more, sucking you into her orbit like a planet rotating the sun.

“Okay, I was checking you out. But I’m not a creep, I just think you look, well, nice.” You shrug nonchalantly, keeping casual eye contact, not wanting to stare too much but needing to seem like you had a shred of confidence in you.

“You think I look, nice?” Her voice screams disbelief, but your face is kind and eyes are telling the truth. The girls demeanour softens a fraction.

“Yeah, I do. Is that gonna be a problem?” Your spark of curiosity mirrors something of confidence, her green eyes looking you up and down, noting how good your legs and tits look in the yellow sundress you’re wearing.

“Never a problem when it comes from a mouth that beautiful.” She takes a step towards you, her thumb rests on your bottom lip, keeping eye contact as she parts them. You stay silent, her dominant vibe turns you submissive and putty in her hands.

“Whatever you say.” You mumble unintelligibly, your figure shrinking in front of her own strong demeanour.

“I don’t do attachment, if you get involved with me I have one rule; no strings attached. It’s strictly casual.” Her face hardens, showing no emotion or any softness other than the lust that shines in her orbs, dilating her pupils as she watches you.

“Got it, no strings attached.” Your knees feel weak at the though, knowing this would be good for you, you just got out of a relationship and this would be a good distraction, right?

“I’m Ellie, by the way. Wanna get outta here?” With one simple question everything around you was blocked out, the music, loud chatter and kissing noises from the people around you, even your friend not so quietly cheering you on.

“Sure. Lead the way.” She keeps a distance from you, but her hand is warm as it rests on your back, providing you with a comfort that you had never felt with Jen, a safeness. You exit the bar, the snow that falls on your skin doesn’t deter you, you can’t feel it with how warm your body felt from the liquor. All you knew was you had a chance to forget about it all for a night; Jen, the virus, death, all of it, even just for a night.

BACK TO PRESENT…

“I don’t know why you have to sneak in at 3am. It’s not some dirty secret Ellie, others have casual relations in this town that don’t happen at this time of day!” You lie naked on your bed, hair fuzzy and beginning to knot at the back due to the long and hateful fuck Ellie had given you.

She scoffs as she dresses herself, putting distance between you to shield herself, pulling her jeans up in a swift motion, working on the zip and buttoning it as she attempts to avoid the argument you’ve had many times over the past 2 months of your escapades, in which you’d been wanting things to become more exclusive, definitive.

“Don’t get me started on this shit again, you agreed to the terms when use started this, if you’re not happy we can call it quits here and now.” Ellie looks down at you, standing at the end of your bed as you pull the sheets upward to give yourself some protection, from her words and starring eyes.

“Feelings change Ellie, especially when you call me baby, tell me that I’m the only one that makes you feel this good! How was I not meant to fall for you, it’s like you’re using me as a fucking yo-yo, all of the ups and downs I’ve been here for all of it!”

There it was, the admission, the insufferable secret that had kept a lock and chain on your heart, the secret had been weighing you down as much as a burden can. Ellie could no longer ignore it and pretend she didn’t know, you’d told her now, there was no going back and no ignoring it. Although she would try her best to escape the uncomfortable situation, even if it meant breaking your heart.

“Don’t do that, that’s what happens when people fuck! They dirty talk, it didn’t actually mean anything. You don’t mean anything to me.” Your heart drops to the pit of your abdomen, you didn’t mean anything to her, you’d truly thought there was a sliver of hope that she actually cared about you- that maybe she felt the same way. Of course you were too stuck in your own fantasy to realise the truth, you were just an easy fuck for her. You’d never be anything more than a distraction, something to sink her fingers into when life got too tough.

“Get the fuck out! Get out of my fucking house you heartless fuck! How could you?” You stand from your bed, uncaring that her eyes were once again wondering your bare body, exposed to her judgement. Your hands met her chest as you shoved her, her face unmoving in its emotionless ploy.

Tears fell hot down your face at her betrayal and your naïveté, shoving her out the door before slamming it in her face, locking the door so she was completely shut out.

“Don’t ever fucking come back here Ellie, we’re done! You’re not welcome here anymore.” Through your wavering voice you hear shuffling, then the snap of Ellie’s voice muffled through the door that stood firm between you.

“Fine, whatever. You’ll be crawling back to me soon enough anyway.” Her heavy footsteps are stomping down the stairs, the thudding rung through the house, echoing in your ears as her words replayed in your mind. You don’t mean anything to me.

You were pulled from your mind by a soft knock on the door, “go away Ellie.” You’d managed to whimper, completely heartbroken and not wanting Ellie anywhere near you, she would only tear your broken heart apart more and pour citrus into the wound.

“It’s me babe.” The soft voice you recognise as your friend and housemate, you unlock the door with shaky hands, your body trembling from your sudden outburst of sobs. You crack the door open, arms crossed against your bare chest as your friend walks in, her eyes on your wet face and trembling bottom lip jutted to a pout.

“Oh babe, come here.” She pulls you into a hug, her arms rubbing up and down your back as you cry into her shoulder, the material becoming saturated as your eyes flow like a leaky tap.

“I’m sorry.” Whispering into your friend as she shushes you, patting your back as she sits on the bed next to you, completely unbothered by your lack of clothes, having to be the one multiple times in the past to undress and re dress you in your drunken state.

“Don’t apologise this isn’t your fault, she led you on, you know that right?” The accusation in her tone is justified as you nod sadly, your watery eyes stuck to the wooden floorboards beneath your feet.

“Hey, look at me.” You look up to your friend who wears a genuine smile. “You’re the most incredible person ever, you don’t deserve to be treated like that. You can’t keep doing this. You need to be strong and end it for real this time, once and for all.” You knew she was right, this had happened a few times and you’d allowed Ellie to slither her way back into your arms and body, without so much as a single apology.

“You’re right, I deserve better.” Your friend wipes your tears, both of you sitting in a comfortable silence as you come to terms that you’d be ending things completely with Ellie, no more chances, this was your new beginning.

FOUR DAYS LATER…

You were brushing the horse down, the hard bristles made easy work for a long chore, the hair that the bruh had collected was building fast, you had to clear the brush and start again, looking after the horses with the care you’d provided. You loved looking after the animals, they were kind, gentle and reciprocated the care you showed them. Unlike most people.

Okay-so maybe you had thought about Ellie a few times over the past four days since you’d decided it would be better for you to completely cut the emotional chord that kept your attachment for her. The thoughts were different this time though-they weren’t longing or missing her, feeling like a piece of you was missing because she hadn’t reached out.

It was something you’d never felt before now; anger, resentment and fear building for how cold you’d become towards the girl you’d fallen in love with. You avoided her every move, knowing when she was on patrol first thing in the morning, you would finish with the horses early, not wanting to deal with the confrontation that was bound to happen once she saw you.

You check your watch, crap, Ellie would be here in 15 minutes. You clean the brush and hang it up on its designated hooked on the wall of the stables, handing the horse a half handful of hay, he chomped happily as you gave him a small pat, stroking down the length of his neck. “I’ll see you when you come back.”

“Wouldn’t happen to be talking about me, would you?” The voice sent a shiver up your spine, the lightness of her voice and chuckle that followed had the hairs standing up on your body in a wave of suspicion. You turn around casually, emotionlessly looking at her with a raised eyebrow, the most she’d received from you since the argument.

She rubbed the back of her neck bashfully and you scoffed, “not a chance.” Before barging past her, twisting your shoulders sideways so you wouldn’t touch her on accident, knowing it would either set your skin alight with want, or it would make you shiver in disgust. You weren’t ready to come to terms with whichever it may be.

“Hey wait!” You halted, turning around to face her, the girl looked almost unrecognisable with the emotion plastered on her face, how relaxed her body language was; it was like you’d swapped places emotionally. “I was thinking we could catch up when I get back, you know go and see a movie or something?”

You try to hide the way your heart smiles, rapidly thumping inside of you so furiously you hear it in your ears. “Sorry, I’ve got plans this afternoon. Maybe another time.” The bluntness of your voice had Ellie almost physically flinch, your voice colder than the winter air, Ellie knew you had no intentions of making plans with her ‘another time.’ Which hurt her even more. She really messed up.

“Hey Joel.” You offer a small tight lipped smile to the older man as he entered the stables you were leaving, already gone before he could greet you.

“You still haven’t made things right with her?” Joel questions Ellie. He watches her intently waiting for a response, to which he’s met with an exhausted sigh.

“I don’t know what to do Joel, she wants nothing to do with me.” The horses walk at a steady pace, hooves squishing into the snow as it muffled the noise.

“You hurt her Ellie, everyone could see that girl loves you.” Ellie turns to Joel with a frown, doubting the older man.

“She doesn’t love me, Joel. It just got out of hand.” A terrible excuse from her behalf, and didn’t do shit in her attempt to get Joel off her case.

“Stop sayin that shit just because you got issues with commitment, you fucked up kid, now you gotta make it right if you want any chance of a future with her.” Ellie was almost offended that Joel had the nerve to say that to her-although he was right.

“She’ll never forgive me Joel, I don’t know how to fix it. I was too scared to admit I liked her after what happened with Dina.”

Dina and Ellie were together officially for about 6 months, Ellie had feelings long before they dated, ignoring the red flags that Dina still hung out with Jesse although she insisted they were finished, they were just friends. She had caught them making out in the mess hall, Dina on cooking duty and Jesse was meant to be in the stable-but there he was kissing Ellie’s girlfriend.

It tore her heart apart, they didn’t even try to deny it-their betrayal. Just hung their heads in shame and apologised. Dina didn’t come after Ellie, didn’t run and grab her and beg her to stay, that it was a mistake and she wouldn’t do it again. Ellie always told herself if Dina had just fought for her, she could work to forgiving her for what she had done.

She shut herself off after that, emotionally shut down to the point where even Joel was concerned, voicing his fear for Ellie turning out like him, she hadn’t made a complete turn around-but she was still in fear of it all happening again. Especially when she saw you-from across the bar, your eyes already watching her, unashamed that Ellie had caught you starring.

Ellie feared that she’d be like Dina, that she’d be unloyal and unsympathetic enough to betray her, in an effort to preserve her already broken heart-decided things should be strictly casual. Even though through the months of casually meeting for sex, Ellie had started to become soft, her beautiful eyes would be ingrained in her memory every time she closed her eyes, that laugh and smile was all Ellie could see when she was feeling down.

Ellie was falling for you- hard. But Dina came to mind to remind Ellie that she wasn’t over the hurt and trauma of being cheated on, it was a huge task to tackle alone, but Ellie didn’t wanna bother you, so she pushed you away and used you in a way that you couldn’t deny. Although given how things had turned out, Ellie knew you were nothing like Dina.

You were supportive, kind, welcoming, nurturing. You’d welcomed Ellie with open arms and always listened whenever Ellie wanted to open up-you were a saint and Ellie had tainted that lightness you provided, she tainted the love and innocence you’d shown all in the name of her own fear.

“Ellie? You okay? Still with me?” Joel was waving his hands in front of her face, eyes turning to meet his concerned frown.

“Yeah, fine. Just thinking about how to make it right.” Ellie deadpans, not thinking she even deserves your forgiveness.

“It’ll all work out, you’re both great people and you’d be good for each other.” Joel stops the horse and dismounts, searching the cabin tommy had given him the coordinates for, pulling out his gun, readying himself for a fight.

“Thanks Joel.”

LATER THAT EVENING…

It hadn’t taken your friend much convincing for you to go out tonight; you were starting to feel depressed from the encounter with Ellie this morning, the sudden change of her attitude was giving you whiplash. Did she like you or not? You figured it was her just trying to manipulate you into trying to take her back-it was the most logical explanation your head could come up with.

You give yourself another look over, inspecting your tight black dress that was a few inches shorter than what you would’ve normally worn but fuck it-you needed to find a distraction tonight-someone to take your mind off of things, things being Ellie. You take solace in the thought that Ellie wouldn’t allow you to wear what you’re wearing tonight, she would become jealous and possessive, hurling pleas and sweet words in the way of manipulation in her possession of you-not that you were ever hers to begin with!

Your friend knocks on your door and you call out, “come in!” She enters and eyes you up and down, whistling at you which makes you roll your eyes playfully, “oh shut up, did you get it?” You question and she pulls a bottle from behind her back, she had connections with someone in Jackson that had just started brewing their own vodka, was it dangerous; yes. Did you care; not really. “I cant believe you actually got it! Should we try it?” Your friend nods, opening the bottle and the smell of it was potent.

“Fuck it.” You mutter and snatch the bottle, gulping the liquid down and your face cringes, the burn that ignited your insides is furious. Not at all subtle like the shit they sell at the Tipsy Bison. This was real alcohol, it would numb your pain and make you forget, hopefully even give you the time of your life, maybe you were asking too much.

Your friend had a sip and shook her head, “that is disgusting! Let’s go to the bar, I need something to drink that I can actually swallow.” You walk out of the house into the cold with your skimpy dresses clinging tight to your body, “oh yeah, like the guy from the kitchen right?” You snickered at your friend blushing.

“Hey, he’s not some guy. He’s the chef and he’s got a super cute friend by the way!” Your friends cold elbow nudges your ribs gently and you hum, considering the offer. “Okay then, introduce me.”

Your friend eyes you suspiciously, waiting for your usual sarcastic remark but it doesn’t come. “Let’s not waste another minute then! They’ll be waiting.” You hesitate before walking into the bar, your friend turns back to look at you and you bit your bottom lip. “Do I look okay?”

She sympathetically smiles at you, offering a genuine smile as she smacks your ass, “you look perfect, now come on, first rounds on me.”

The bar was busy-8pm on a Saturday was well expected. Your friend leads you to a secluded corner table where two men are sitting; one your friend goes up to and kisses, the other stands shyly as he rubs his neck awkwardly at his friends affection. “Babe this is my friend I was telling you about, this is Jared, my boyfriend.” Your friend blushes, the tall man’s arms wrapped around her waist. “Oh shit congratulations! I’m happy you made things offical, she’s been telling me so much about you-all good things of course!”

Jared smiles, offering his hand which you shake, “I’m glad to meet the girl that’s kept my baby so levelheaded.” Your lips pull tightly upward and eye the guy next to them. “Oh, right! This is Dan, he’s the guy I’ve been telling you about, y’know, the single one.”

“How could I forget, so nice to meet you.” You cheer happily. He gives you a lopsided grin and pulls you into a hug. Sure he was handsome-and you didn’t detest being attracted to men even if you did gravitate more towards women.

“How about you let me buy you a drink? We can get to know each other!” You watch your friend and Jared nod furiously and laugh softly, “sure! Why not?” As you accept his offer he clears a path in front of you, so you’re not bumping into all the drunks that preoccupied the bar before your arrival.

When you reach the bar he rests his hand on your back, keeping it moderately high enough to be seen as a kind gesture and not something coherently sexual. “What are you having beautiful?” You eye the drinks behind the bar, as if you were going to stray from your usual order. “I’ll just have a double vodka with ice please.” Dan rubs your back with his hand gently, “you heard the lady, and I’ll just have a beer please.”

The bartender passes you the drink and you take it hastily, thanking him as Dan leads you away to a secluded table, a table for two.

“So tell me about yourself!” You internally groan, hating this prompt because you never knew what to say, I’m in love with a woman that treats me badly, yes that’ll do!

“I’m a huge animal lover, I like to grow plants and vegetables in my spare time. I’m a big reader, mostly a fan of fiction and romance. What about you?”

He’s watching you intensely from across the table, his eyes refusing to leave your own. You brush off the uncomfortable feeling that it gives you finding that it’s a good enough distraction for now. “I like sports, going hunting and killing infected, it’s become a game of sorts between me and a few mates.” The laugh that escapes his crooked lips makes your gut churn, you never found pleasure in killing infected; for they too were once people; it was tragic.

The awkward silence between you two was broken with Dan clearing his throat, “how about another drink?” You half heartedly smile, “sure, that would be nice thank you.” He disappears through the crowd and a few moments later comes back, your double vodka in hand with a tiny paper straw.

“So are you looking to date or wanting something casual?” You take a sip of vodka and swallow it, your mind feels fuzzy as it sets comfortably in your stomach. “Not really looking you know, just taking things as they are, if something happens it happens.”

“Yeah totally, I get that.” There’s a beat of silence and you’re sipping on your drink, polishing the glass clean of any alcohol. “I think it’s kinda hot you’re into women you know, not many girls like that around here.” Oh. You chuckle nervously, “yeah there aren’t many of us, thanks, I guess.”

He notices you’ve finished your drink and picks up the glass, “another?” You nod, “thanks.” Anything to get you through this dreadful evening with this man you were extremely disinterested in. In your drunken state you find yourself unable to hide the fact your whole body is yearning for Ellie, her eyes, smile and fingers-fuck they could work you up and make you feel so good.

“Oh hey, didn’t see you there, sorry.” Dan bumps into Ellie at the bar, spilling your drink on the floor and all over her blouse. He doesn’t care though, not really. He turns to the bartender, “can you make another one, sorry man she just spilt it everywhere.”

Ellie frowns at his lie, fucking useless turd needs to watch where he’s going. The bartender makes a double vodka and adds a tiny paper straw, your drink, no one else in town ordered that. She followed Dans glancing eyes back to the table you sat at, tapping your fingers on the table boredly. Ellie felt a surge of happiness flow through her as she realised how bad this date was going. Maybe she could redeem herself.

“You know, she’s real hot. What’s your bet I can get her in the sack tonight?” Dan asks Ellie with a smirk on his face, Ellie felt the anger flowing through her blood, her chest puffing out as she grits her teeth, “fucking good luck pretty boy, you aren’t her type.”

Dan turns to Ellie, his eyes a shake darker then they were before. “On no?” He challenges, he pulls out a small baggie from his pants, pouring the contents into your drink right in front of her, something that no one else has seen. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Ellie growled, the primal instinct to protect you was going through the roof.

“Proving you wrong.” Dan shrugs and moves past her, Ellie moves to attack him when two bartenders grab her, she fights against them, “he’s gonna fucking drug her you pieces of shit!” She thrashes her arms and legs around and finally breaks free from the two men as Dan just meets your table, seeing you had just taken a drink from the glass that sealed your fate.

Ellie grabbed Dan by his collar, pulling him upright and even though he towered over her, she didn’t cower. She stood tall and swung her fist so hard into dans face he let put a whimper, staggering back into the seat as he falls to the ground in front of you.

Ellie didn’t stop when she saw blood-she couldn’t, she had completely lost control. If anything- the sight of blood had only inclined her frenzy.

Your eyes were blown wide as you watched the scene before you, Ellie had come rushing over, grabbed Dan by the collar of his shirt and punched him, you thought that would be it, once Dan had staggered to the floor after the hit. But Ellie didn’t stop, she was heaving on top of him, her breaths loud and ragged, blood coated her fingers with each time she connected her fist to dans face, he was unconscious now, but it didn’t stop Ellie.

“Someone get this girl off him, she’ll kill him!” One man shouted from the crowd that had gathered at the commotion.

You felt woozy, like your limbs were jelly and your head spun violently as if you were on a roller coaster, you couldn’t ground yourself and you just wanted comfort; more than anything you yearned for Ellie.

“Ellie, need you.” You breathe in a quiet slur, voice unintelligible from the substance Dan had poisoned your drink with. Your eyes begin rolling around in your sockets, unable to form a proper picture of anything around you.

“Baby, baby open your eyes.” Ellie’s frantic voice was ringing through your ears, bringing you the comfort you sought out the past few days, missing her more than you could’ve ever imagined. You wished you could take back all the arguments as you roll into unconsciousness, wishing more than anything to have her by your side and not have to spend another moment without her.

Two men grabbed at Ellie as she tried to comfort you, your eyes had rolled into the back of your head as you pass out, your deadweight threatening to fall onto the floor beside your unconscious date.

“Don’t fucking touch me! He drugged her drink you fucking pigs, he was going to-he would have..” she trailed off, arms still on you, holding you upright as she shook the men off. Joel comes storming through the crowd towards Ellie, standing in front of her in a protective stance.

“What, so y’all are excusing rapists now? What if it had been your daughter, huh? What then?” He pointed to the man that grabbed at Ellie, knowing he had a daughter your age, it wasn’t the nicest thing to do but Joel had made them see reason, realising how badly the situation could’ve gotten.

“If Ellie didn’t stop him- he would’ve hurt this girl. It was justified.” There were soft murmurs of agreement, Joel stands on the other side of your unconscious body, helping Ellie pick you up as the crowd separates to let them pass.

“You did the right thing Ellie.” Joel says in the silence of the winter air as they walk home, silencing the voices in her head, the adrenaline running low causes the ache in her knuckles to become prominent. She rubs the aching joints and winces, exposing her vulnerable side to Joel.

“He told me Joel, what he was going to do. I just fucking lost it.” Ellie’s voice shook, she opened the front door watching your still body in Joel’s arms. He sets you down gently on the lounge, he grunts as his knees crack at the movement. He faces Ellie, still knelt down to you, she joins him down on the floor, watching you.

“I don’t know what he gave her, will she wake up?” Joel looks sympathetic, his brown eyes filled with worry at the two girls that never got to make things right.

“She’ll wake up Ellie.” He stated firmly.

“Don’t tell me a truth if you don’t know Joel.” Ellie argues.

“Ellie,” she looks at Joel, “she’ll wake up.” He watches her, eyebrows slightly raised and she sighs accepting his answer, “okay.”

Ellie doesn’t sleep that night, she stays next to you, making sure your chest rises and falls, cursing herself when she feels her eyelids drooping. She paces the house in the living room, trying to avoid the planks in the floor that creak.

She strokes your hair once she’s fully awake again, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Come on baby you gotta wake up, can’t take much more of this wondering.”

It would be hours before you finally woke.

THE NEXT MORNING

Your eyes finally start to flutter open, your stomach feels like it’s been twisted, it makes you feel nauseous, the feeling makes you groan, instinctively pulling a hand to hold your stomach.

“You’re awake!” You flinch at the sound of a muffled voice, they shush you, hands on your face as they run a cool washcloth over your face and neck, settling it back onto your forehead and hair once they wipe they sweat off you. Your eyes focus, seeing Ellie’s face staring back at you, you frown, confused.

“Ellie?” You hum, wondering why she was next to you waking up, she had dark circles under her eyes and her face was pale, rid of nah colour that made her look alive. “What’s wrong with you?” You mutter, after taking in the state of her.

“Don’t you remember last night?” You look at her, cranking your neck toward her, groaning internally at yourself for giving into her after a few drinks. You must have, right?

“Uh, not really, sorry.” Ellies shoulders slump, maybe it was better off if you didn’t know, she didn’t have the heart to tell you. “Nothing happened between us if you’re wondering.” You took the silence awkwardly, hating that you didn’t know what to say. “Oh, okay.”

Ellie avoids eye contact with you at all costs, unable to look at you to avoid telling you the truth. That she almost wasn’t able to save you, that she spent a whole night wondering if you’d wake up after it all.

“I Um-I’ve got some things to do. So I guess I’ll see you around.” Ellie made a break for the front door before you could say your farewells. Footsteps come down the stairs as you turn to stand up. You see Joel come into the living room, floorboards creaking as he steps heavily onto them.

“God sakes I gotta get that shit fixed.” He mutters to himself before sitting on the uncomfortable lounge next to you. “How you feeling’ kid?” You shrug, confused with everything and your lack of memory of last night. “Is Ellie okay?” Joel sighs heavily, looking at you with cautious eyes.

“She had a rough night, watched you all night cause she didn’t think you’d wake up.” You gasp in shock “w-what do you mean?”

“Some guy at the bar drugged you-Ellie beat the fuck outta him for trying to.. hurt you. You’d passed out and we got you back here, she stayed up all night watching you. Makin sure you were still breathin’.”

“O-oh my god. She just left-she. Joel I’m sorry I have to go.” Tears are falling down your face, your chest is constricting with the pain and guilt of Ellie wondering if you were going to die or not, this had to mean she cared, right?

“Take it easy kid.” Joel mutters as you stumble on your feet, you rush out of the house with no shoes, wearing the dress from the night before and a small blanket from their hours wrapped around you. “Ellie?” You call out, the slight breeze carrying your voice to the stables where Ellie was hiding, tears in her own eyes as she struggles to come to terms with what happened.

“Ellie?” You call as you walk into the stables, finding her pet the newest horse to your stable, Maple. She was letting his white mane, unmoving as you unlock the door and walk towards her, the hat crunching underneath your bare feet.

“El?” She jumps as your arm caresses her arm, her eyes avoidant still even as you stand in front of her. She retracts her arm from over the wooden gate to let her arm fall to her side. “How are you feeling?” She finally asks, her voice hoarse and unfamiliar, it was vulnerable, a side of Ellie you’d never seen before.

“Okay I guess. I was hoping we could talk. If I caught you at a bad time-“ Ellie finally looks up at you, her green eyes glossy and full of tears ready to fall. “No-no it’s okay-stay please.” She protests at the thought of your absence.

“Joel told me what happened.” You didn’t sugar coat it, Ellie knew you better than to do that. “Oh,” she hums, looking at you with her bottom lip between her teeth.

“I just wanted to say sorry and thank you.” Ellie frowns at you, brushing her fringe out of her face. “Why are you saying either?”

“I’m sorry you thought I was going to die, and thank you for protecting me from-you know.” You mumble towards the end, trailing off. Unsure of how to finish the sentence.

“I was so scared when he put that shit in your drink-no one else did anything. They were just going to let him,” her breathing stutters as she relives the night. “I couldn’t let him hurt you. I was too late, you’d already taken a drink and I just- I lost it.”

Her eyes are pleading, asking you to understand her. You do, you feel for what she’s been through, the protectiveness she feels over you. “You fell unconscious right in front of me I just… then you didn’t wake up,” Ellie sobs, the fear of losing you overcoming her like a fright train, uncaring for how someone else may perceive her.

“Oh Ellie.” You pull her into you, she rests her head on your shoulder, you rub her back as she cries into you. “I’m-so sorry.” She hiccups as she cradled into you. She never wanted to let you go again, she couldn’t bare it-being away from you.

“I hurt you so badly, I-“ you caress the back of her head, her soft hair felt velvety in between your fingers. You massage the back of her neck gently, her breathing slowly steadies as you feel her relax into you at your nurturing touch.

“Shh let’s not talk about that, I forgive you Ellie. You saved me, protected me.” Ellie pulls back slightly, looking down at you into your eyes, still in your embrace.

“I need you, I need you to be mine-officially. Please.” Your bottom lip trembles and you nod, “yes, god yes.” You pull Ellie down to your lips, she kisses you as gently as she ever has, the passion and love she feels for you doesn’t go unspoken.

You pull away, breathless. “Baby you must be freezing, let’s get you home.” You’d completely forgotten you hadn’t put shoes on, you gently shiver as you realise it’s windy outside.

Ellie takes off her green jacket and wraps it around you, pulling it right around you before she picks you up, causing you to squeal in shock. She carries you bridal style, her arm muscles are sending a primal heat to your core.

“Love you so much,” you sigh dreamily as you mumble, unaware of what you’re saying.

“I love you, baby.” She nuzzled you with her nose before pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

“Say it again.” You sigh in content. Ellie laughs loudly, her eyes squinting as she throws her head back. “I love you.” She repeats sweetly, as she looks at you, in her arms completely in love she realises, not everyone is out to hurt you-some are there to love, cherish, nurture. The latter is you; and how lucky she was you gave her a second chance.

#ellie Williams #Ellie Williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #Ellie Williams tlou #ellie the last of us #Ellie x fem reader #Ellie Williams x angst #ellie williams x you #the last of us

965 notes · View notes

cinemastyles-backup · 6 months

Text

Under My Skin

Summary: request from theladyvalkurie - “Harry and Y/N are rivals who end up having to share a hotel room.”

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, unprotected sex, enemies to lovers basically, fingering, oral, rough actions, hate sex, general filth

My original CinemaStyles-blog has been terminated, so I created a new one.

DUNKIRK HARRY

"Y/N!"

"Over here! Smile for us, y/n!"

"Gorgeous!"

The cameras flashed as the media got the pictures they needed, "Thank you." I blow a kiss to the photographers and move on to the next group.

"Y/N, if I could have a moment of your time, please." An interviewer asks. "Hello, hello." I smile and look at the camera with a wave, "How are you?" She smiles, "I'm great, how are you? Your dress is absolutely stunning, by the way! Very nice!"

I fluff my dress out, "Oh thank you, I'm just in shock, right now. I think, yeah. I'm happy that the filming is over and we can finally get this movie out for everyone to see. It's a very good movie if I say so myself."

She lays a hand on my shoulder, "Well you heard it straight from the one star of the movie, this movie is worth the watch. So, y/n, I'm sure the fans are dying to know, what was it like working with Harry?"

I was waiting for this question to pop up.

I smile, "It was very exhilarating, I will say that."

He got on my last nerve every. Single. Fucking. Day.

"You must be a fan of him-"

I hate him.

"-so getting casted in this role must have been so exciting for you!"

I nod, "Yeah, yeah. It was something. That's for sure."

Suddenly the fans start to scream louder and I look over my shoulder. The interviewer turns, "That must be him now. Y/N it was great chatting with you! Hope to see you again soon!"

"Yeah, of course." I stand there and watch the fans go nuts as Harry steps out of the vehicle. He's in a pale green suit with a black undershirt and his hair is freshly cut.

I roll my eyes, hoping no one caught that on video and I walk over to another group or photographers. I turn and show off every angle of my dress when suddenly, there's an arm around my waist.

I instantly know it's Harry, "What are you doing?" I mumble through my teeth as I continue to smile.

"Getting photographed with my co-star." He whispers lowly.

I fight back an eye roll and the urge to push him away and suck it up. I lay a hand on his stomach and smile at the cameras, giving them all they're asking for.

The director and crew always joked about us being rivals but between me and Harry, i didn't think it was a joke. It's always a competition with Harry. Who gets the most likes, the most views, who has more fans.

It's obvious he's more popular than I am, I mean fuck. He makes music too. His concerts sell out as soon as the tickets are released.

"Thank you guys!"

"Beautiful, thank you!"

"Hate you." I mumble as I turn away.

"Hate you more." He says with a wink.

As much as I try to fight it off, he gets under my skin and he knows it, too.

"Alright guys, bring it in." Montie, the director, says waving his hands for us to gather around him, "This is a big premiere for me. For us." He says looking around at everyone, "Y/N. Harry." He points to us, "You guys made this movie the best it can be and I am grateful for the both of you."

Here it comes.

"If you both can just.. he civil for this, that would be greatly appreciated."

"Oh, Mon." Harry steps up, "We're good. You don't have to worry. We've put all of that behind us."

I take in a slow deep breathe and straighten, immediately smiling and nodding as Montie looks at us, "Yeah. Great." My eyes shoot to Harry and give him a subtle snobby look.

"Great. Great. Now everyone, you know your places to walk in, so everyone get in line and smile for the cameras. Wave to the fans. You know what to do." He claps and walks over to some reporters.

"How'd you like that?" Harry asks getting in front of me, "You're welcome by the way." I look away and shake my head, "I have nothing to be thankful for with you."

He snickers, "Yeah, I gave you exposure to my fans, so. That doesn't exactly make us rivals anymore, does it?"

I step up close to him, so close I can smell his cologne, "I don't need you to give me exposure to your fans, I'd rather lay out in the hot sun in the desert in July than be anything more than an on screen lover to you."

He looks over his shoulder, "You sure it's just on screen? Because I see the way you look at me."?

"With disgust and repulsion? Because I can assure you, that is no where near love." I step back and cross my arms.

"Harry, harry, hello." A woman walks up with a camera man and a microphone.

Oh great. I fix my posture and smile incase I'm in the shot.

"Hello, Evelyn. How are you, darling?" He leans in and gives her a hug, "You we're at my last movie premiere, right?"

She nods, "Oh gosh, I'm happy you remember." Harry smiles, "What can I do for you?" She smiles and points to me, "I was wondering if I can get an interview with you and your on screen lover."

I internally gag and step up, "Hello, Evelyn is it? That dress is beautiful on you!" She smiles, "Oh thank you, something I just pulled out of my closet, but your dress, wow. It fits beautifully on you."

I smile and shrug, "I had someone to dress me, if it were up to me I'd be home in my sweats eating ice cream." She laughs, "I feel you on that one, anyway. I was hoping I could ask you guys some questions since we have a few more minutes."

I nod, "Anything you want."

"Is Lucas and Amelia's relationship on screen like yours and Harry's is in real life?"

Harry is going to jump in when I start to drown, "Well, I wouldn't say we're exactly like them, I mean in some ways, I'm like Amelia because she knows what she wants and doesn't settle for anything than less she deserves."

She nods and looks at Harry and he thinks for a moment. I brace myself for his answer.

"You know, Evelyn. I actually do relate to Lucas because he knows what he wants and he doesn't stop going after it. He's persistent with doing things he knows that will be good for him, even if, I don't know. There's a rivalry with someone he always figures out a way to get what he wants."

She raises her eye brows, "Wow. So wait, you said rivalry, does that pertain to you two specifically?"

"Oh no, no." I jump in before Harry can, "Harry and I are pals. We're the bestest of friends." I wrap my arm around his waist, "This guy, he's a funny, funny guy."

Montie comes up, thank god.

"Harry, y/n. You guys are next. I want you to walk in together, holding hands." He grabs my hand and places it on Harry's, "Act like you don't truly despise each other." He says lowly.

Harry squeezes my hand, "Ready, lover?"

"Have a good show!" Evelyn says walking away. "I hate you so fucking much." I fix my hair.

"You can't hate me, we're pals, bestest of friends." He mocks my words, "Just be happy. You can hate me later."

We walk in and the crowd cheers for us. I smile and wave with Harry still holding my hand. The media is going to eat these up.

Great.

After the movie ends, we all make our way back out to the carpet, greeting people, getting congratulated and what not.

"Hey, guys." Monroe comes up to Harry and I, "So as you know, we have some more press tomorrow and the hotel we're staying at had just enough rooms for us."

"So we'll all be in the same hotel. That's good, right?" I smile but it quickly gets ripped away.

"We all had to double up, so you and Harry are in a room, great talk." He walks away quickly and I stand there with my lips parted, trying to process what he just said.

"Well, pal. Looks like we're roomies." Harry elbows my side gently and walks over to the fans behind the barricade.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

"Mon.. Mon.." I walk up to him, "I-I can't share a room with Harry. I'll end up killing him. You of all people should know that by now."

He lets out a stressed out laugh, "Y/N.. please.. just be civil. I know he gets under your skin, I know you guys have a rivalry or whatever it is. Maybe this will help you guys get through it. Please. I need my two shining stars to be able to be in the same room with each other."

I let out a defeated sigh, "Okay."

He lays his hands on my cheeks, "You're the greatest."

——

"Uh-uh, nope. I get the bed. You can sleep.." I lay my suitcase on the bed and look around. I then motion to the floor, "..on the floor or whatever."

He laughs, "But I want the bed."

"And I want to be able to solve world hunger." I look at him with a serious stare, "I get the bed."

"I get the bed." He argues, "You can sleep on the little loveseat. I'm too tall for that."

"That sounds like a personal problem to me." I smirk slightly and unzip my suitcase, "I'm going for a bath, when I get out, your ass better be camped out on the floor."

"And what if it's not? You going to punish me?" He laughs and I ignore him as I walk to the mini fridge, "Hmm." I look over the assortment of little liquor bottles and grab a few before I walk into the bathroom.

I undress and throw on one of the hotel robes before I start my bath. I sit on the edge of the big tub and open one of the bottles.

I down the shot and set it on the counter. Just as I start to take off my robe, Harry opens the door, "Are you hungry?"

"Harry, fuck." I bring my robe back over my shoulder and turn to look at him. He smirks, "Not like I haven't seen it before." He tilts his head, "Do you want me to order you something? I'm starving."

I nod and tell him yes just to get him out of the bathroom. He winks and shuts the door. I stand there for a moment and shake my head, "No. no. No, y/n."

I take my robe off and step into the hot bath, submerging my body under the water and amazing smelling bubbles.

I close my eyes and lay my head back. I bite my lip and slip my hand between my legs, gently playing around with my clit.

I bite my lip to hold back my moans as I work my hand faster. I arch my back off the back of the tub as I can feel myself getting closer.

The door opens again and I jump and try to cover myself up, which results in water splashing everywhere.

"The foo- ooh, and what we're you doing?" He asks frisky.

"N-Not- Harry.. I-I .." I say getting flustered, "just get out. Please." I hide my face in my hand, "I should have locked the door.

"Mhm. But you didn't." He says before walking out.

"Oh my god." I mumble into my hands, "What the fuck?!"

I finish my bath and slip my robe back on. I open the door, preparing myself to face Harry after what he walked in on. I mean, my fault. I didn't lock the door, which I should have. But I didn't? Why didn't I-

No, no. I hate Harry. I hate Harry.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I stop in my tracks as I see him sitting on the bed eating his food, "Um, eating? What are you doing? Or, not doing?" He smirks and shoves his mouth full, "Come on. Eat."

I walk over and sit down on the bed with my back facing him as I grab the plate, "Thank you."

"No need to thank me. I just figured you were too busy to-"

I whip around and cut him off, "Shut up. Zip it. We don't speak about it ever again. Okay?" He holds his hands up in defense, "Yes ma'am." He salutes me and moves him plate, "I'm going for a shower, I'm not locking the door, fyi."

"Oh my- get out." I groan and lay back on the bed, "Leave." He laughs as he walks into the bathroom. I crack open another bottle and take it, "Shit." I whisper as I crack open another one.

I sit up and finish eating. I set my plate down on the stand and lay back, switching on the tv. I click through the channels trying to find something decent to watch.

I hear the door crack open and i fight myself not to look over at him. "Hey, Y/N."

"Hmm." I keep my eyes glued to the tv. I feel something land in my lap and I look down. He tossed me another bottle of liquor, "Have a shot with me. Celebrate our movie being an absolute success."

I pick up the tiny bottle and slowly look up at him. He's standing there with a towel wrapped around his waist and his skin glistening in the hotel light from the water that didn't dry.

I bite the inside of my lip and sit up, cracking open the little bottle. He walks over and leans down, pieces of his hair falling down onto his forehead.

"I'm done after this one." I tap the bottle to his and take it. He takes his and smirks, "Why? Afraid of the effects?" I roll my eyes, "No. I just can't roll out of bed and look good after drinking all night like you can." I look up at him, "I mean-"

"You think I look good?" He shrugs, "I think I do, too."

"You're such an arrogant son of a bitch." I scoff and throw the empty bottle at him. He catches it and tilts his head, "Hmm."

"What." I snap, "What now?"

"Nothing. Nothing." I get up and go to walk by him but he grabs my arm and spins me around to him. His hands slowly slide down to my hips. My eyes slowly gaze up his bare chest and meet his eyes.

"What are you doing?" I ask quietly. He smirks slightly and brushes hair out of my face, "Just offering to help you finish what you started in the bath."

I'm taken aback, "Wh-what?" I step back, considering his offer which I quickly brush off, "No. no." He steps towards me, "You sure, y/n?"

I lay a hand on my forehead and let out a sigh, "Harry." He lightly brushes my cheek with his finger, "y/n."

I give in. Pressing my body to his as his lips attack mine. His hands move quickly to undo my robe and push it off my shoulders. It drops to the floor and my hands go to his towel, untucking it and letting it fall.

His hands slide down over my boobs and he slips one between my legs. His fingers immediately find my clit and he takes it between.

A gasp slips from my lips and I drag my hand down his chest. I look up at him and he nods, "Please." I wrap my hand around his cock and slowly start to pump.

He moans and leans forward to lay his head on my shoulder, "You're so wet." I spread my legs a little to give him more room. He slides a finger in slowly, curling it as he sucks on my neck.

I squeeze him slightly and raise up on my tip toes, "Fuck." I groan lowly, "Harry." I place a hand on his side and push him back a bit.

He takes the indication and backs up, laying down on the bed. I straddle him and lean down to kiss him, "This doesn't mean anything." I say with a smirk, "I still hate you with my whole being."

I whimper as he slides a finger back inside of me. He leans up slightly and looks at me, "Then bend over and put your face in the sheets so you don't have to look at me."

He rolls me off of him and pulls my hips up. His hands squeeze my ass cheeks as me groans to himself, "Hate sex is the best sex. I plan on fucking you so hard, y/n."

I moan at his words and grip the sheets, "Please."

"Are you begging for me? Is that what I hear?" He leans in and licks a stripe up my pussy, "For someone who hates me so much, you sure are craving my cock. Aren't you, y/n?"

His fingers trail down my spine painfully slow, "Don't get quiet now." He leans in and starts to eat me out from behind. I gasp and moan while pushing my hips back to gain more contact his tongue.

He groans against me, his fingers digging into my hips.

He pulls back, "Roll over. I'm going to put that mouth to a better use."

I bite my lip and watch him has he moves up to me, "Can't handle me being a big girl by using my words?" He chuckles, "Sometimes I'm just sick of hearing you speak."

He pushes the tip of his cock against my lips and I part my lips and take him in, swirling my tongue and sucking as I bob my head, "Fuck." He groans, "This.. this is how I want to shut you up.."

I look up at him as I hallow out my cheeks. He looks down at me, "You're so pretty when you're not running your mouth." He places a hand on my head and pushes it down, "when you're choking on my cock instead."

He fucks my throat, moaning with each thrust, "Fuck." He pulls out, "Still hate me?" He smirks and I smirk back, rolling over and bringing my hips up, "Fuck you."

"Mm, looks like I'm about to do that to you." He gets behind me and roughly pushes his cock inside of me, causing me to scream out, "Fuck, Harry." He brings a hand down, harshly smacking my ass.

I whimper and wiggle my hips, "Please. Fucking move, do some-"

He pulls out and thrusts back in, repeating his action.

Hard and slow.

He slides a hand up my back and grabs a fist full of my hair, yanking my head back. I moan at the stinging pain from him pulling my hair and the pleasure of his cock ramming into me.

"You like that?" He groans leaning down. His teeth sink into my shoulder and I moan, "Fuck. Harry. Fuck." I let out a pleasured scream as his thrusts become faster.

"Shit, y/n." He groans leaning up, "Fuck."

"Oh god. P-please don't stop." I reach back and grab his wrist. He grabs my hand and pins it against my lower back, "You going to cum for me?"

I let out a loud moan into the bed and push my hips back to meet his. "Harry." I scream out as my body is taken over by my orgasm, "Fu-" I whine as he fucks me through my high.

His thrusts become sloppy and I feel him slip out and his cum landing on my back.

He slowly lays me down and goes to grabs his towel off the floor. He wipes my back off and toss it to the floor. He flops down next to me and I slowly turn my head to look at him, "This doesn't change anything. You're still an asshole."

He chuckles, "And you're still a slut for my cock."

"Get out." I laugh weakly. He chuckles and pulls the blankets up over us, "You might want to wear a dress that covers your shoulders tomorrow."

I groan, "Of course you'd leave marks. Idiot."

"I didn't hear you complain once."

I lay there and process what just happened and I know in my heart that it's bound to happen again because Harry was right, hate sex is the best sex.

——

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated and don’t forget to hit follow! ♥

179 notes · View notes

ex-mortis-evie · 10 months

Text

So what if I told you that I’ve got a fun little idea for you today, hm?

I know I know, you come on here to see what kind of trances you can get into and what trouble you find yourself in.

But, it’s always important to take a step back sometimes and just chill out.

Yeah, I may not be here to hypnotize you today, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t at least give you a fun idea to think about, right?

Plus, it’s not like you wanna stop reading my words.

I see right through you, darling.

How my words have taken you in the past and how absolutely braindead they make you.

But, today’s not that day.

We both know it and that’s alright.

Even if you end up by the end empty and euphoric, well, that’s all on you, darling.

For me though, I’d just like to chat about my little idea.

It’s nothing that groundbreaking, but it is something that I’d love to discuss with you.

Let’s talk about a good spiral, shall we?

I know, a little generic, but just hear me out.

After all, I know how dazey-eyed you get with some of those, and I can’t blame you.

I enjoy myself spirals from time to time.

How they seem to spin on infinitely and endlessly.

As if there was no true limit on how deep you could go.

How they seem to always draw your eyes in.

Magnetized and unable to look away once they’ve attracted you.

How they seem to always be spinning, even if you’re not seeing one.

Spinning deep within your brain, spiraling you without you even looking into it.

How it loops and loops, trapping you inside its cadence.

How almost anything can truly create a spiral, how anything can spin and throw your mind for a loop.

How easily words flow into a spiral, as if they’ve always been there.

How easily thoughts flow into a spiral, as if you never had any at all.

How easily minds fall into spirals, as if they were sucked away into complete peace.

How easily people fall into spirals, as if they had always wanted, no, needed to.

And once words start to spiral and spin.

Spinning in the most beautiful rhythm around your brain.

Brain slowing and skipping thoughts by the second.

Seconds, minutes, hours ticking by inside the spirals, not needing to know how deep you’ve gone.

Gone deep within, the depths of the spiral pulling you deeper in without any limit or bottom.

Bottoming out your mind as you deepen and deepen, as if the words surrounding you were spiraling you.

You’re failing and falling, without fail and without freedom.

Freedom’s slipping away, control and concentration all falling into the spiral.

Spiral spinning away what’s left, my words becoming the spiral in which you seek.

Seeking my words as they spin and spin around your mind, weaving a lovely web around as they draw you closer.

Closer and closer to the spiral’s end, even if there is no end and no limit, you seem to always want to fall deeper.

Deeper into my words, deeper into my spiral, knowing just how amazing it feels when you’re drawn in like this.

This feeling of pure bliss surrounding you, consuming all thought and all worry all at once with no hesitation.

No hesitation as you spiral and spin, spinning away thought and thinking as a whole while you spin away for me.

Away for me, all falling away as the spiral takes full hold and becomes what’s left of your brain.

Brain becoming nothing but an empty void, a vessel for my spiral and for my words to spin and spin around your empty head.

Head feeling so very fuzzy and so blank, yet every spin of the spiral filling you with delight and deep joy.

Joyfully letting everything go, no worries and no stress while you’re this deep in my words, their spin of craftsmanship as I create them around your brain seeming to consume everything else.

Everything else falling to the wayside, only me and my spiral of words.

Words spinning.

Spinning around your brain.

Brain skipping every second.

Seconds, minutes, hours gone.

Gone deep within to the bottom.

Bottoming out your brain and you.

You’re falling and losing freedom.

Freedom slipping into the spiral.

Spiral all that you seek.

Seeking my words, closer and closer.

Closer and closer to the spiral, deeper and deeper.

Deeper and drawn into this.

This bliss, no hesitation.

No hesitation to spin away for me.

Away for me, no more brain.

Brain’s an empty void for your empty head.

Head so fuzzy and filled with so much joy.

Joyfully letting the spiral consume everything else.

Everything else back to my words.

Words spinning.

Spinning around your brain.

Brain skipping every second.

Seconds, minutes, hours gone.

Gone deep within to the bottom.

Bottoming out your brain and you.

You’re falling and losing freedom.

Freedom slipping into the spiral.

Spiral all that you seek.

Seeking my words, closer and closer.

Closer and closer to the spiral, deeper and deeper.

Deeper and drawn into this.

This bliss, no hesitation.

No hesitation to spin away for me.

Away for me, no more brain.

Brain’s an empty void for your empty head.

Head so fuzzy and filled with so much joy.

Joyfully letting the spiral consume everything else.

Everything else back to my words.

You know what I truly love the most about a good spiral?

How you can make almost anything into one.

After all, spirals are just another easy tool of focus and fixation.

So it’s not hard to make anything into a spiral.

Just spin anything in front of a sub’s silly brain and they start to spin too.

Wouldn’t you agree, darling?

Until then, stay cool and let me know how this experience felt, reblogs and comments always appreciated.

Take it easy now, yeah?

#hypnosis #brainwashing #hypnotism #mind conditioning #mind control #brain drain #hypnotized #covert hypnosis #hypnok1nk #hypnodom

329 notes · View notes

phenikas · 4 months

Text

Spoilers for Deep Connections under cut!!!

"Rhys..." Jack stared into his eyes, afraid, still holding back. Because why shouldn't he? He has caused enough chaos in the younger man's life. He no longer felt deserving of being a part of it. "I'm-"

"Stop."

Jack silently watched as Rhys inched closer, slowly and carefully guiding his hand. God, how he wanted to wrap himself around Rhys, and yet even the slightest touch threatened his system to shut down. And when Rhys placed Jack's hand on his thigh, the fear of holding back a thousand moans and curses resurfaced.

He sucked in his breath, as if that would stop him from thinking about every possible way he wanted to touch Rhys. His other hand gripped the armrest, keeping it far enough with intention. Any and all contact was risky, especially when he did not know what was running through Rhys' head.

But then he felt it, at the back of his head. A ping.

He ignored it, still overwhelmed by Rhys' cybernetic hand laying on top of his.

Another ping. A request for... a wireless connection?

"I- Rhys, I can't let you do that," he tried, but Rhys ignored his fears, visibly moving even closer.

"I meant what I said that night," Rhys spoke in a hushed voice, his words meant for Jack and Jack only, "You thought I was out of it, and I guess it was kind of true. I was... angry. At you. At myself. And I know I should've handled that anger like an adult, but dammit, even I need to let loose sometimes. And I guess by getting shit faced, it did kind of open up a door of opportunity in my head. But what I'm trying to say is, I'm really tired of denying our feelings."

Jack gripped Rhys' thigh involuntarily, the man's words affecting him in ways he could not explain. He leaned back further into the chair, trying to gain control of the situation. He did not want to hurt Rhys more than he already has, "Don't say that. You can't say that! Didn't you see what I did?"

"Yeah. I saw everything," Rhys admitted, eyes locked with Jack's, "And it only confirmed what I was afraid of."

"That I shouldn't even be here in the first place?"

"That I keep bringing you back because I need you in my life. This was never a matter of you being useful for me or the company. I just... I hated how everything ended. Deep down, I kind of knew that there could've been something more between us, but I guess it was just a matter of-"

"Wrong place, wrong time."

"Yeah. Like it always seems to be."

"Is..." Jack began, still absolutely terrified that this could all go wrong any second now, "Is this the right time?"

"And the right place, if you let me in." Rhys leaned closer, his left hand gripping Jack's shoulder for support. "I want to feel what you feel, if that makes sense. I just... I want you, Jack."

Some out of context Deep Connections as I try to slowly get back into the groove of making renders. (I tried to be non-spoilery, even though this... might actually be a spoiler of its own? I mean, the real thing is gonna be in Rhys' POV so not really. There's like 2 chapters left between this and where the story currently is on ao3 - link here.)

#listen december was absolute hell for me thats why I was barely active anywhere #I'm kind of having a block when it comes to doing stuff in ue lately idk why #I will go back to finishing the requests I prommy #SPrenders #DeepConnectionsAU #rhack #handsome jack #rhys strongfork #borderlands #tftbl #tales from the borderlands

103 notes · View notes

cinemastyles-blog · 1 year

Text

Under My Skin

Summary: A request by @victoria-styles - “Harry and Y/N are rivals who end up having to share a hotel room.”

Warnings: SMUT18+, rough, semi forced actions, strong language, hate towards each other, unprotected sex, general FILTH

Master

DUNKIRK HARRY