#absolutely the fuck not

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Paul/Chani battle couple falling in love while fighting side by side in a guerrilla war for national liberation felt like a gift to me personally for many reasons but mostly because comrades-to-lovers is SUCH a specific vibe and putting Paul Atreides into that dynamic is so so so so funny

#like. can you imagine #you’re on an extended camping trip with bouts of intermittent life-or-death combat #surrounded by people who’ve known each other since birth and probably been fighting together for years #under pressure to prove yourself cause you’re the new guy an outsider and in several other ways sus #there’s a prophecy about you but most of these people think it’s bullshit #and in the middle of all this there is A Girl That You Like #do you think this girl is gonna pick up your slack or automatically take your side in political debates just cause you’re bangin? #absolutely the fuck not #be serious comrade. also it’s your turn to shake sand out of the tent #incredible ego corrective. #dune #dune part two #paul atreides #chani kynes

[arthur-lesters-right-arm]

Also Arthur when he hears the voice in his head tell him what's right and wrong:

Fuck OFF John!!! I want to kill this man!!!! I want to stab him!! Kill kill kill!!!!

#Arthur certainly does hear that voice in his head but does his unruly ass listen to it??? #absolutely the fuck not #malevolent #malevolent podcast #arthur lester #arthur malevolent #john malevolent #malevolent arthur #john doe malevolent #malevolent john #malevolent spoilers #Arthur is a contrary bitch

[lila-rae]

Call I just got:

Good afternoon Lila, this is (nurse) from (midwife’s) office. She wanted to let you know your blood work looks good but your hcg levels are high and doubling faster than expected so she’d like to schedule a scan for next week to check for multiples.

I can’t freak out with anyone in real life since no one knows so excuse me for the next few days as I have a mental breakdown.

She did reassure me that this is still more than likely a singleton so I’m going to just meditate on that.

#absolutely the fuck not #nope nope nope #pregnancy #lr5 #it’s probably fine

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 8

i just think. princess mononoke au fits them pretty fucking well.

#day 8 #year 4 #aradia megido #jade harley #homestuck #arajade #is this meme overdone? perhaps #is that gonna stop me #absolutely the fuck not

[impishtubist]

There need to be more post-POA fics where Sirius doesn’t grovel for Remus’s forgiveness (because he didn’t do anything wrong!), and where he actually gets to be properly angry at everyone who left him to rot (Remus, McGonagall, Andromeda, Dumbledore, etc.)

#miss padfootastic i have been thinking about this since i saw your ask this morning #but it makes my blood boil! #every single person who knew and 'loved' him believed he was the traitor without a second thought #literally no one questioned it! #and then in fics SIRIUS is the one apologizing???? #absolutely the fuck not #sirius black #chaos night #honestly the only person who never let sirius down was james #and harry of course b/c he's a bb #r/s can be together but make remus work for it!!!!!

[ghost-inthe-hall]

#well look at who we got here! #iii #there's just something about head tilts ok #you think i make the rules? #absolutely the fuck not #im just here for the ride #sleep token

[getvalentined]

Thinking about Angeal in DFFOO apparently throwing himself in front of a sword to protect Sephiroth, even knowing that he's unrepentantly evil at that point and has no goal except to hurt people and fuck with Cloud, because he just cares about him so much—

But in CC, Angeal is only upset about Genesis' alleged death because he didn't manage to kill him before Zack did. Even though he's completely aware that Genesis is doing all this in an attempt to either 1. not literally rot to death, or 2. take the company down with him in recompense for ruining all their lives from conception.

The only point that he gets genuinely upset after Genesis "dies" is when Hollander calls Gillian by name. That is more upsetting to him than the death of someone who he's known basically since birth. The only issue with his oldest childhood friend being dead is that Angeal didn't get to kill him.

But Sephiroth, openly malicious, violent, abusive—he is worth defending. He's worth protecting. He deserves every possible chance to prove that he's better than he was made, even when he's stated outright that he made his choice and doesn't intend to change.

Absolutely mindboggling that so few people seem to realize the extreme difference in how he feels about them, even when it's on full display.

(Also, I feel like it's more proof for my theory that Angeal is in love with Sephiroth too and the reason he treated Genesis the way he did is because if he wasn't good enough, then Genesis certainly wasn't, and couldn't be allowed to think otherwise. I don't think this was intentionally malicious, but I think Angeal was actually extremely immature and so self-righteous he'd rather they all be miserable than see someone he loved find support from someone he found unworthy.)

#fandom vent #angeal critical #I'm not even talking shit about the character here mind you #this is what happens #this is the canon #this is how he ACTUALLY behaves IN GAME #he's brilliantly flawed #he's a WONDERFUL character #but fandom doesn't see that #do I think he cared about his friends? yeah #do I think he cared about the oldest one as much as fandom thinks he did? #absolutely the fuck not #you don't lament that you didn't get to kill your best friend #who was trying to SURVIVE #who TOLD YOU THE TRUTH when NO ONE ELSE DID #who ALLOWED YOU TO MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS #and then risk your own life defending your other friend #against people he has LITERALLY MURDERED #and he is TRYING TO MURDER AGAIN #FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN HIS OWN FUN #if you ACTUALLY LOVE BOTH OF YOUR FRIENDS EQUALLY #but fandom refuses to see that #there is so much about this character that could be explored #he could be brilliant #grey and greyer morality #facades of nobility covering up deep insecurity #he's SO well-written in-canon #but fandom goes 'oh he said he's good so he is' #YEAH HE ALSO SAID THAT STEALING FROM EVERYONE BUT HIS RICH FRIEND WAS HONORABLE #HE IS VERY VERY WRONG ABOUT MANY MANY THINGS

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

Not somebody in the notes of that poll calling Eliot Waugh a bottom, THE STRUGGLES I AM ENDURING TODAY.

#absolutely the fuck not

[samyelbanette]

So. My lease is about to renew. A new property management company purchased my building a few months ago, so this is my first time signing a lease with them.

I’m looking over the contract and uh….

*squints suspiciously* what do you mean I’m agreeing to “give up certain rights”?

“Landlord will try to let Tenant know at least 24 hours before entering”.

Per Ohio state law, you are required to provide me with 24 hours notice, bitch!!!

#you’re going to charge ME $10 because you walked into my house without my consent?? #absolutely the fuck not

[mommaghost]

Imagine your Pregnant Partner:

Things have been going well. Everyone's healthy and meeting size milestones. Good news all around.

Then the day comes: doing chores like normal until NOPE. Baby bump has officially become the limiting factor in doing everyday tasks.

Your partner/roommate wandering around the house and taking photos while pointing at various things

[Picture of mail by feet] "Your child kicked and made me drop an envelope. You have to pick it up because your child is in the way."

[Picture of partner bending and reaching towards dishwasher] "You'll never guess what! Trying to empty the bottom rack of the dishwasher requires yoga I'm not capable of right now."

Bonus: [Selfie of partner pouting on floor] "Help, I squatted to get to the dishes and fell on my very cute ass."

(They can get up, they're just teasing.)

[Picture of them reaching towards bathroom sink] "There is no good way for me to wash my hands. I can, it's frustrating."

[Picture of a top loading washing machine] "LMAO nope."

[Blurry picture of something behind the washer and dryer] "I hope you don't mind fishing for one of your shirts because: n o p e."

[Video clip of bab(ies) wiggling while folding laundry] "little bean(s) are trying to say something... ah! Help me put away linens later."

[Picture of bed, featuring partner's middle finger] "the desire for clean sheets vs baby bump and pregnancy fatigue: FIGHT"

#nbpreg #fpreg #mpreg #tmpreg #tfpreg #belly wearing #imagine your partner #ghost posting #im just like a lot of things have the partner being docile #but i am belly wearing rn and im like #there is laundry on the floor #absolutely the fuck NOT

[kero-verdade]

Respectfully. if an unknown man took my child to a mountain without my permission he WOULD get his ass beat expeditiously

#absolutely the fuck not #that's some true crime shit right there #extraordinary attorney woo #mine

[iguessitsjustme]

I'm just supposed to wait another week for the next episode? After waiting two weeks for this one? Insanely rude. Give me the next episode right now *grabby hands*

#step by step #step by step the series #step by step bl #i did not just have my heart torn to shreds by jaab and jen just to have to wait a full 7 days to see them again #absolutely the fuck not

[kai-atlantis]

NOOOOOO

#artemis fowl #NO #ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT #not my desk btw #but NO

[sanjisblackasswife]

FACE REVEAL WHEN

i only show my mutuals my face.

i remember one time, this real popular artist finally did a face reveal on ig.

and her first comment was “Damn u needa brush ur teeth.”🧍🏾‍♀️

#absolutely the fuck not #i have braces too #no #yall cannot see it #yall evil as shit on these apps

[capinejghafa]

Not again....

#absolutely the fuck not #myra's cat adventures #fool me once #random

[a-star-that-fell]

i love it when random people message me on indeed at 11:00pm despite the fact that you can see that i said no like 4 months ago

#jules speaks #bro. i am NOT working at a chain daycare again #absolutely the fuck not #real life tag