#abuela facing the consequences of her actions

[hoodharlow]

Erasing Myself From the Narrative

AN: Y'all remember that angsty fic I scrapped? Well I brought it back and changed it up

Requested? No

Warnings: angst, Jack being 🤨🤨🤨, OC picking herself over Jack and smut

Word Count: 5.5k words

Luna tugged on her vintage snakeskin cowgirl boots and went to her closet for her suede beige trench coat. She grabbed her phone from its charger. She ran down the stairs when she heard the doorbell. She opened the door and threw her arms around her best friend of ten years, Jack. 

"I missed you!" Luna hugged him tighter.

"I missed you too." Jack held the back of her head and his other arm was around her back, dangerously close to her ass. 

"How was LA?" She asked, pulling away from the hug.

"What I should be asking you is: how was Paris?" He grinned. 

Luna had been in Paris the last few weeks interviewing with Givenchy. She had informally worked with them before to make some designs for Jack’s tour outfits. But Matt Williams, the creative director, reached out to her personally and asked her to send in her portfolio. 

She had a passion for fashion, Bratz pun intended. Thanks to her volleyball scholarship she was able to major in it when she went to Cornell. After graduating, she didn't have much luck finding jobs, even with her experience of working with designers and with small brands through summer internships. 

"I got the job." She shrugged like it was no big deal. 

"I fucking knew you would. What does the grilf think?" He asked.

The grilf was Luna’s grandmother. She was raised by her grandmother (and grandpa until he passed away a few years back) because her mom was a flight attendant and traveled a lot for work. Luna was a splitting image of her grandma from when she was in her twenties. Now at sixty, she looked just beautiful.  

Jack would joke that if he was her grandma's age, he would have been able to pull her. But her abuela was never moved by his charisma and laughed in his face when he would try to flirt with her. She would tell him to go for someone closer to his age range: ei. Luna. 

"I was going to tell her but I wanted to tell her in person. I was jet-lagged and slept the whole day. When I woke up, I found a note saying that she went to her book club." She explained. 

For a woman in her early sixties, Abuela had a more active social calendar than Luna. Luna had friends, but she was just very cautious of her actions and didn't do anything that could lead to any life altering consequence. Unlike her mom who did whatever she wanted with no second thought, which was how she had Luna as a high school sophomore. Luna saw what being careless could do and she did everything in her power to now get caught up in any mess. So she stayed to herself as much as possible, didn't partake in drinking or smoking like some of her friends, or had one night stands. She had her hookup, Jason Peralta, but that was as laid back as she got. She was the mom-friend of the group. The one who made all her friends send their locations and did multiple rounds when they would go out to make sure no one left. 

"I found out before the grilf? Wow, I feel honored." Jack grinned. 

"Don't, you just happened to be here." Luna shrugged.

"Man, fuck you. I'm leaving you and watching the new M. Night Shyamalan movie by myself." He frowned.

"That's fine, I'll hit up Jason." She pulled out her phone, waiting for him to call her bluff.

She wasn’t going to hit him up. If anything, she was going to just bury herself under blankets and  eat the whole pot of albondigas Abuela made while watching some Channing Tatum movies. Jason had called her earlier to see if she wanted to come over but she said no because she was meeting up with Jack. 

Jason and Luna have been on and off friends with benefits since she moved back to Louisville. Whenever they were off it was because he got to know some girl but it never worked out with his schedule. Jason played for Louisville FC and was constantly traveling which was why his agreement with Luna worked so well. They knew what they had was purely physical and if they didn’t know each other the way they did, they would have become a couple, but it never worked out. Sure they would go on an occasional date but there was an underlying agreement that it wasn’t going to develop into something serious. Another reason why it could never work out was because Luna had feelings for Jack.

Though she knew better than to act on her feelings. In the last ten years Jack never gave her a second glance. Luna was just one of the guys. She was his friend, his confidant. The one that helped him get the girl, never the girl. 

“Anyways,” Jack cut her off thoughts, “we should get going because I need to stop for gas. 

“Yeah, let’s go.” Luna nodded. 

She grabbed her mini leather bag that matched her suede trench coat. She checked that her essentials: spare cash, lip gloss, chapstick, hair ties, gum and tampons were in her bag. She swiped her keys from the large bowl by the small table by the front door and made her way outside with Jack. She locked the house and texted Abuela that she had left and would call her later. 

Jack opened the passenger door for her. He averted his gaze away from her ass when she removed her coat before climbing on. Her skirt rode up her thighs, revealing her long toned legs. Jack closed the door and went to his side. When he opened the door, he found Luna’s ass in the air as she put her things in the backseat. Her cropped knitted sweater fell down, showing off her lavender and it took everything in Jack to not ask her if her panties matched her bra. 

“All set?” he asked when sat back on her seat. 

“Yeah,” she nodded, connecting her phone to his car. 

Jack drove to Costco to fill up his car. He pulled on his hoodie and covered his face while he waited outside his car as the gas filled up. He was typing away on his phone. She figured he was making sure everything for his and Urban’s birthday party was set. Though she didn’t miss the soft smile he had as he shook his head and typed some more. Luna felt a twinge of unease in her stomach but pushed it aside. Nothing could ruin her night with Jack.

*

Luna choked on her wine, trying her best not to laugh so hard at the story Jack was telling her of him and Clay at one of his rec soccer games. They went to eat dinner after their movie. Jack called in earlier and booked them a private room. He didn’t want the other nosy guests to film them for Luna’s privacy. He rarely posted her when he hung out with his friends because his fans always turned one post into the most elaborate conspiracy theory. He just wanted Luna to himself. He didn’t see his life without her and he would protect her with his whole being. 

Their server came by with the check. Luna reached for it, but Jack swatted her hand away. He put a few hundred bills on the leather folder and placed it on the edge of the table. 

“When are you leaving to paris?” Jack asked her, sipping his water.

“April, I have a few weeks to figure out my living situation. But Matt wants me in Paris as soon as possible so we can get started on the Spring/Summer show in June.” She said before eating some more tiramisu.

“So you won’t be here for the Derby?” he asked, almost pissed. He tightly gripped his cloth napkin, his already white knuckles turning Casper white. 

“One, relax, and two, no I won’t be there for the Derby. I can maybe try to be home but I don’t know.” Luna smoothed out his hand. 

“Sorry, I just wanted you here because I’m dropping my album around that time.” He said.

“You already finished your album? Oh my god, that’s insane.” 

She knew he’d been working on his album for a while. When she visited him on tour to get some outfits fitted for him, she could tell he was going through it. After one of his shows in Denver, he practically broke down in his hotel room and told her how exhausted and burnt out he felt. But he had to push himself because he knew he had a lot of people counting on him and he couldn’t let them down. They put a lot of faith in him since the start of his career and he was eternally  grateful for their support. Luna was the one to convince him to get back into writing for the sake of writing not for work. Little by little he built an album 

“I have a few songs that need to be finalized and trimmed but it’s done. The label is aiming for a late April release.” 

“That’s exciting. Are you going to do a mini CD signing tour like you did with the last album?” she asked, finishing her glass of chardonnay.

“Nah, I’m thinking of just letting this one speak for itself.” 

“Well I better get my own signed CD.” 

“Of course you are, I can’t break tradition,” he grinned.

They finished their desserts and made their way back to his car. Jack had his arm over her shoulders and Luna wrapped her arm around his back. Once in his car, Jack connected his phone and played her a few of his songs from his album. The one that stuck out to her the most was Blame on Me. She’d seen first hand the dynamics between his brother and dad but she never expected him to write a full song about it. But he did it in the most beautiful way. She was an only child that didn’t meet her dad and was raised by her grandparents. Despite that she was able to relate to it. That’s what she loved about Jack’s song writing. No matter how corny and braggadocious or personal the songs were, there was something that was able to strike home. 

Abuela’s red Audi was parked in the driveway by the time Jack pulled up to Luna’s place. 

“Let me walk you.” Jack said, unbuckling his seat belt before she could tell him no. 

Luna nodded and followed suit. They walked up the steps. Jack stayed back one step while she was at the very top. They were of equal height. 

“I’m glad we hung out tonight. I missed you..” Luna said.

“I missed you too. We should do something again before you leave for Paris.” Jack said, pulling her into a hug. 

They hugged for what felt like an hour and pulled back a bit, still in each other’s arms. Their eyes’ met with bright smiles. ‘Now or never’, Luna thought to herself. She leaned in to him, but Jack pulled back. 

“I’m sorry Luna, but I have a girlfriend.” 

She immediately burst into a fit of giggles. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Those two glasses of wine…” she trailed. “I’m sorry sorry. Um, I’m gonna go inside and pretend like that didn’t happen.”

“Luna wait,” 

“Good night sir,” she said, saluting him in a terrible British accent she did when she was embarrassed and wanted to get out of a situation. “I shall see you tomorrow kind sir.” 

She entered her home without letting Jack get another word in. 

*

Luna reached in her coat and pulled out a sky blue envelope. Inside was a birthday card with a letter she wrote for Jack. She didn’t have the guts to say goodbye. She looked over to where he was. He was standing off to the side while she took pictures with her friends and they all gathered around Kathryn, his girlfriend. Even she couldn’t deny that they looked good together. According to Urban she was one of the daughters of the co-founders of the label Jack was signed to. They’ve been seeing each other for a few months so it was still pretty new. 

Though what Luna couldn't wrap around her head was that he never mentioned Kathryn in their three hour long facetime calls. If she knew she would have kept her distance and not acted as impulsive as she did the night before. 

But now knowing this made leaving for Paris much easier. After her embarrassing almost-kiss, she spent the better half of the night looking for flights to Paris. She spoke to her grandma, leaving out the kiss, and they were leaving at night to New York since there weren’t any direct flights from Louisville to Paris. Abuela was joining her for the week so they could go apartment hunting so she could get settled as soon as possible. 

“Hey I didn’t think you’d show.” Clay said, pulling her into a hug. 

“I just came by to say hi.” she told him. 

“You’re not staying?” he frowned. 

“I’m needed in Paris and I have to leave tonight.” She looked at the envelope. “Can you do me a favor?”

“Of course.” He nodded.

“Give this to Jack later.” Luna handed him the envelope. 

“You can give it to him now. He’s around here.” Clay looked sound for his brother. He caught Jack’s gaze and waved him over. He was aware of the feelings she had for Jack. “You should–”

“I’m in a rush.” She put the envelope in his hands. She gave him a tight hug. “Thank you.”

Luna squeezed his shoulder and grabbed her coat. She passed Jack and didn’t give him a second glance as she exited the venue. 

Jack frowned and began to walk in her direction, but he was stopped by some friends and pulled to the photobooth. When he finally pulled away to go to the parking lot, Luna was gone. He went back inside, going straight to Clay. 

“Why didn’t Luna stay?” he asked his brother. 

“She had to go.” 

“Go where?” 

“Paris, she was called to leave sooner.” 

“Fuck,” Jack pushed back his curls. He pulled out his phone and called her so he could at least meet her at the airport to say goodbye. 

He’d been so busy, caught up with making sure Kathryn was comfortable that he didn’t know when Luna arrived. He wasn’t sure if she’d come after their almost kiss. An almost kiss that happened at the most inopportune time. If he was being honest, years ago he’d used to think it would be him and Luna that would have gotten together. But he could never bring himself to share his feelings for her. Mostly out of fear that she didn’t feel the same. He would rather spend a lifetime having her as his best friend instead of losing for the rest of his life. 

“What the hell?” he said to himself when the call didn’t go through. He tried again and the same thing happened. He looked at Clay and in a panicked voice he asked, “Can you call her? I think I have spotty service.” 

“Babe, Neelam said it’s time to cut the cake.” Kathryn said, walking over.

“Can you tell her to wait five minutes? I’m trying to–”

She cut him off with her nose turned upward. “Jack, your friends are getting a bit rowdy. Let’s do it now, yeah?” 

“Fine,” he gave in. He looked at Clay before walking towards the cake and gave him a pleading look to try to get a hold of Luna.

Clay nodded and texted Luna. She replied almost instantly and told him to tell Jack to leave her alone. He cursed, unsure how to tell his big brother that without breaking his heart. Luckily Jack’s coat was draped over a chair. He slipped in Luna’s envelope in the inside pocket and went to his brother, ready with a lie about how he had shitty service too.

* June * 

“How many other secrets were you hiding from me Kathryn?” Jack asked too calmly for someone who just overheard their now ex-girlfriend say she tried to baby trap him because she got financially cut off from her dad. 

“Jack–”

“Do you really think I was that stupid to fall for your shit? I’m sorry you’re not fucking responsible and got cut off by your dad, but you won’t use me for your bullshit. Please get your shit, leave my key and never fucking contact me ever again.” he said.

“When my dad finds out–”

“The same dad that cut you off because you spent your trust fund on partying? Yeah go ahead and call him. I was just on the phone with him and he also heard what I heard.” he crossed his arms.

“Fuck you!” she stormed off to their room.

She had moved in two weeks ago to his apartment in Atlanta and was barely settling in so it didn’t take long for her to pack up. A few minutes later she came back to the living room with her things. In her hand was a blue envelope. 

“Here, I found it in your jacket the night of your birthday party.” She said, handing it to him.

Kathryn left without another word. Jack made a call to the lobby and had her removed from the list of people that could be taken up to his penthouse. He then blocked her number and removed her from social media. While he packed for his Europe work trip while he went through all protocols about the break up with Neelam and had her make sure all NDAs were signed. 

Once he was done packing and Jack tore the envelope from the side and carefully took out the birthday card. He recognized Luna’s loopy writing. He began reading:

Jack there’s no easy way of saying this, but I’m in love with you. I have been for years. I don’t know when or how, but I am. And because of that, I’m leaving Louisville. I can’t be in the same place you are knowing I can’t be with you. I think it’s best if we end whatever friendship we have here. 

I need time to figure out who I am. I can’t keep seeing myself as the girl who’s pining over her best friend when you’re in a relationship.despite how I feel about you, I’m happy you found someone who you can love that same way I wished you loved me. 

Thank you for all these years of friendship. I’m sorry this is how I said goodbye, but it’s for the best.

-Luna 

Jack turned the paper around to see if there was more. He checked the envelope. The only other thing inside was her half of the strip of pictures they took in a photobooth a few years back. He kept his other half in his wallet. He used to keep it tucked in his phone case, but when he started dating Kathryn, he switched it to his wallet. 

He ran his thumb over Luna. He hadn’t seen her in almost four months and they felt like hell. He’d been in Boston for a few weeks filming a new project. He put himself into work. When he wasn’t working on music, he was filming something.. 

He hadn’t seen or heard from Luna since she left. She stayed true to her word and never contacted him. She blocked him on all social media. He’d even visited Abuela to ask about her but she always gave him vague answers about her whereabouts. All he knew was that she was in Paris, but he didn’t know how she was or if she liked the city. Well he knew she liked the city. 

The first time they had gone was on a class trip in eleventh grade and snuck out to see the city. He still remembered how in awe she was at the lights and how lively the people were. That was when he realized he had feelings for her, but he was too scared to act on them. More than anything he wanted Luna in his life and he didn’t want to risk anything. So for years he kept that to himself. He felt like an absolute idiot for not seeing that Luna felt the same. 

“Is this some fucked up joke?” He said to himself, crumbling up the letter. 

He sat down on the couch and rubbed his face in frustration. He couldn't believe he’d been so blind to see who he wanted the whole time had also felt the same about him. He made an incredibly big mistake and now he had to face the consequences of it. 

*

Jack’s knee couldn’t stop bouncing his knee as he and Urban approached the Givenchy after party. They had attended the show just a few hours ago, but were invited to the dinner and after party. His team was able to get him and Urban seats at the last minute. He’d been in Cannes the last few days for work and performances so he hadn’t had a chance to see Luna. 

He thought he was going to see her when he was getting his fittings, but she was working on a different floor. Then when he sat next to her grandmother at the fashion show, he thought she was going to approach them, but she didn’t. She walked out with Matt and everyone else that helped with the collection. She waved and turned on her heel to go back backstage. He hoped to see her at the dinner but she spent the whole time showing off her grandmother. He had low expectations of seeing her in the club because she was a homebody. If anything he would make up some excuse to go to the Givenchy house the next day. 

Jack had been at the club for less than five minutes and he felt exhausted and drained. He excused himself and went down to the bar to order sparkling water with cranberry and pineapple juice. There were three bartenders at the bar. Two of which were hard working, getting drinks out as fast as they could while the one next to Jack was busy flirting with a red head. Jack rolled his eyes and sat back waiting until the crowd lessened. 

A hand smacked down on the bar close to the bartender. “There’s a million people waiting for their drinks. If you could get your dick out of your brain for three seconds and make them that would be fucking great.” 

Jack recognized that voice.

“Luna?” 

She turned over and her face paled. 

“Um, hi.” she said.

Jack frowned. “Hi? That’s all you have to say after I haven't heard from you in months?” 

“This is not the place.” Luna said, not looking at him. 

“Babe, I told you to wait for me.” someone said. 

A tall guy with dark brown skin wrapped his arm around Luna’s shoulders. He gave Jack a once over, unimpressed. 

“Dominic, relax. I know him.” Luna shrugged her arm off him. 

“Oh than fuck, I used up my straight voice with Vivi.” Dominic said in a more salacious voice. He nodded his head at Jack. “So who’s this?”

“An old friend from Louisville.” she answered vaguely. 

“Right.” Jack’s jaw clenched. 

Without another word he got up and went back to Urban, who was with a group of models that hung to his every word. 

“Um wow, you were rude. What’s the drama there? Clearly y’all weren’t just friends.” Dominic prodded. 

Luna pretended she didn’t hear him and her eyes followed Jack. He waved to a few women who called his name as he went up the steps to the VIP section. He leaned over to Urban and whispered in his ear. They bro hugged and Jack was going back down the steps. 

“Tell Vivi, I’m not feeling well and called an Uber.” she told Dominic. 

She didn’t wait for a response. She gave him a side hug and trailed after Jack. 

“Jack, wait!” she yelled when they were outside. 

He turned around. “What, Luna?” he snapped.

“I’m sorry.” she said quietly. 

“For what exactly? For dismissing me to your friend like I’m nothing? Like this hasn’t been the worst few months of my life because you left?” He went off.

“YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND JACK!” She waved her arms angrily. “What was I supposed to do? Watch you live your life with your girlfriend while I still pine for you? I needed to be away for my own sake and sanity.” 

“We broke up.” Jack revealed. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“If I had known sooner that I had a chance I would have acted on it, Luna.” 

Before she could ask him what he meant, he captured her lips with his. The kiss was slow like a test in the waters. Lust quickly took over as their kiss intensified. He held her in place with his other arm as his lips dominated her. Luna whimpered into his mouth when Jack deepened the kiss. They pulled away, breathless, Luna realized they somehow ended up back at Jack’s hotel suite. 

“I fucking love you, Luna.” Jack murmured against her lips.

“I love you too, Jack.” She smiled.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear that.”  

“Me too.” 

With that Luna pulled Jack into another deep kiss. Without breaking their kiss, he grabbed the back of her thighs and picked her up. He carried her down the hall to his room. Jack tossed Luna on the bed and slipped off his jacket and kicked off his shoes. Luna reached over and unzipped her leather calf length boots, a birthday present from Jack when he first earned his first big royalties check, and placed them on the floor. 

He crawled on top of her and gently pulled her chin, bringing her lips to his. One of her hands found its way to Jack’s curls while the other dug its nails onto his back. She moaned out into his mouth, feeling his hips rut against her core. She shifted around so her legs were more open for him to move more comfortably. They continued to kiss as their hips kept moving in sync with each other.

“Wait.” she pushed him off her.

“Are we moving too fast? I’m sorry–”

“No, I have to check in with my grandma so she doesn’t think I got kidnapped like in that one Liam Neeson movie.” 

She went to the living room part of his suite where they discarded their jackets and her bag. She quickly sent her grandmother a text that she was catching up with Jack and that she won’t be home until the morning. Abuela replied instantly with a ‘finally’ and a ‘use condoms’. She rolled her eyes and joined Jack in bed. 

Jack gave her a chaste kiss on the lips and returned to kissing down to her chest. He pushed up her dress until it was off of her, revealing her breasts to him. He tweaked one of her nipples while he nipped and sucked her other breast. Satisfied with the love bites on her chest, he kissed down her stomach to the band of her panties. 

Luna cleared her throat making him look up at her. “You’re clean right? I don’t have condoms, but I’m on the IUD.” she asked. 

“Yeah, I haven’t been with anyone since Kathryn.”

After their break up, he got tested and came out clean.

“Okay cool.” Luna nodded. 

Jack sat back on his knees and pushed her legs open. Her arousal glistened through the lace of her panties. Luna lifted her hips, so he could remove her panties. He slowly pulled them off and tossed them to the side then climbed back in bed. He licked his lips and placed her legs over his shoulders. 

Shamelessly, he spit on her clit and sucked it, making her moan. Then he wiggled his tongue at her entrance. He moaned out at her taste. It was taking everything in him not to ravish her. He took his time with her, savoring her. Minutes passed when he finally slid his middle and ring finger in her. She gasped at his touch. Her hands tangled in his hair pulling it for relief.

“Fuck!” She moaned out. He sped up his fingers then he slipped them out of her and rubbed her clit, bringing her to her climax. 

“Jack!” She repeated his name over and over as she came. Jack licked her release and laid back next to her. Luna rolled over and placed her leg over his waist. 

“I love you.” She said softly. She stretched over to kiss him. 

“I love you too, Luna.” he mumbled against her lips.

Jack pushed her hips so she was directly on top of his crotch. They kissed for what seemed like hours. Teasing touches here and there, only to end up wrapped up in each other’s arms. Jack was hugging her back while Luna placed her hands on his chest. She slowly moved her hips against him. 

“I always knew our first time would be with you on top.” Jack commentted. 

“You’re so fucking corny.” Luna laughed, covering her mouth. 

Jack pulled her hand away and sat up so he could kiss her properly. Luna reached between them and slowly stroked Jack. Then she lifted her hips, lining herself over his cock. She slowly slid all the way down his length. She moaned out at how good Jack felt inside her. She rocked her hips against him, getting used to him. She slowly bounced herself up and down while continuing to rock her hips against his. He sat up and brought her closer to him. Luna’s arms tightened around his neck. Jack bucked his hips upwards to meet her thrusts and she let out a soft moan.

“Feel so good, Jack.” she whimpered.. 

Her orgasm came out of nowhere. She clung to Jack as she continued to ride him. He still kept thrusting into her through her orgasm. But he slowed down, letting her come back from orgasm only to take her once more. 

“Want you to finish in my mouth, Jack.” Luna said, pushing back his sweaty curls. 

“Yeah, whatever you say.” 

Luna playfully rolled her eyes and shifted her body so she laid horizontally. She spit on his length and slowly jerked him off with both hands. She slipped him as far as she could take him. He let out an incoherent sound until she reached the back of her throat. She did it a few more times, egging him on. 

She pulled away, with a trail of saliva spilling from the corner of her mouth, and kissed down his length. Luna slowly bobbed her head up and down his length, getting her mouth used to him. She took him a little deeper each time. One of his hands gripped the back of her head, keeping her in place as he thrusted into her mouth. Luna let out soft moans. Her hands gripped his legs, nails digging into his thighs. She continued to stroke him as he came, taking all of his release. She cleaned him up and cuddled next to him.

“So we did that…” Luna trailed off after a few moments of silence.

Jack pushed himself up against the headboard. “Do you regret it?” 

“Do you?” She asked.

“Fuck no.” 

“Okay, good.” She giggled. The bed sheet covering Jack’s waist caught her attention. There was a large tent shape formed. “Already? It wasn’t even five minutes.”

“My dick can’t help that you’re finally naked with me and not a figment of my imagination.” 

“I guess we should do something about that.”

“We should.” 

Jack gently pushed her back on the bed. They slowly kissed, having all the time of the world. Unbeknownst to them was that Urban had entered his suite and was going to give Jack some information about Luna that he acquired. He unlocked the door separating his suite and Jack’s. 

“Yo, you better buy me some blunts with all this shit I have for you– ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?” Urban yelled, pulling off his soundproof headphones. 

Jack covered Luna before Urban could get a look of her face. “Dude, what the fuck?”

“What the fuck? That’s all you have to say? Here I thought my best friend was fucking heartbroken but you’re out here getting his dick wet. I went out of my way to get you some info on Luna.”

“Hi Urb.” Luna sat up, covering her chest. 

Urban took in the scene in front of him. “Nevermind. I’ll let y’all continue. Pardon me for interrupting.” 

He put on his headphones and went back to his suite. 

“Sorry.” Jack mumbled.

“Don’t worry about it. Nothing could ever embarrass me after my grandparents walked in on me and my date for junior prom.” she said. 

“True and I didn’t get the condom stuck in your pussy like bitch ass Tristian.” Jack said.

“I completely forgot my date’s name. How do you remember?” 

“I had to keep tabs on my competition.” He shrugged. “And I won.” 

“Is that so?” She arched an eyebrow.

“You’re naked with me in Paris. I call that a win.” 

Taglist: @heavyhitterheaux @cherry4everrr ​ @carma-fanficaddict ​ @youngharleezy @youngharleezyxo ​ @babyharleezy ​ @that-90s-girllll ​ @alinaharlow @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @webinurcloset @gassyandsassy1 @jackharloww @awhore4moree @noescapricho-essentimiento @neon-lights-and-glitter @purecinnamonextract @whywontyoulovemecami @camificrecs @itsyagirljaz @w1ldthoughts @vanwritesfan-fiction @xxkoolkatxx

#jack harlow #jack harlow angst #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow one shot #jack harlow fanfiction

[gamerbearmira]

Antonio had just touched the door to his new room at the Madrigal house when the rest of his Aunties showed up. His mama and papa had gotten there first with Abuela Luna and Abuelo Artemis, said the others were a bit behind them.

He immediately turned from the glowing door and the proud looking woman who was always mean to his big sister to beam at his aunties.

"Aunties!" Antonio rushed away from the red haired woman reaching for him to hug the closest Aunt, his Auntie Tune.

"Little prince!" Neptune swung him up with a bright smile and hugged him tightly, smothering his face in a million quick kisses.

"Happy birthday!" All of the Senshi were there and they were surrounding Antonio and smothering him in hugs and kisses and they had presents.

The rest of Encanto was staring confused and alarmed as Antonio was passed around to these strangers for hugs and kisses and gifts.

"Little prince. As soon as we're done here the palace is set up for your party." Luna was the one to hold him now and give him a quick kiss to the forehead while he beamed at her.

"Abuela!" Antonio kissed her cheek and Luna's eyes widened but she smiled a bit and Alma took a step back in disbelief only to then have her anger rush up. How dare they disturb the Gift ceremony and try to steal her grandson?

"Oh now you've done it little prince. If you thought Luna was protective before...now that you're calling her grandma she's gonna reach a whole new level." Artemis said with a laugh as he ruffled Antonio's hair.

"We should hurry and finish here so that we can get to the real party. We have cake and presents waiting." Hotaru said giving Antonio a hug before handing him off to Setsuna.

THEY'RE SO CUTE URGHHH ヾ(@^▽^@)ノ

Antonio wasn't even worried about the ceremony. Like he already had some abilities from being the Moon prince, so talking to animals was nothing but a bonus. He didn't care bout that room either. And you already know Alma was mad asf when Antonio called Luna Abuela (and I assume Artemis Abuelo)

They have no reason to be mad 💀💀 like oh no!!! The consequences of your actions!!!!

Antonio when his family finally came to pick him up:

#my asks #my asks are open #encanto #encanto au #au #encanto antonio #sailor moon #encanto sailor moon au #sailor moon luna #sailor moon artemis #sailor moon usagi #sailor moon mamoru #sailor neptune #encanto alma

[aoyama-division]

Luis's Thoughts on Katsushika Division

Akihisa Mashiro

"...I don't fully know much about my father's time in the army. I know he was a decorated general, but as for what he actually did during his time in the war, that's something I know nothing about. And quite frankly, I don't think I want to know. But I do know he may or may not have had to do a lot of unscrupulous things. I'm not foolish, ya' know. I know that in war, you have to do things that you're not proud of. But like I stated, I don't know much about my father's time while he was serving."

"But I do know that he made an enemy out of this man, Mashiro Akihisa. Apparently, my father and Tomi's led him into a trap and had him captured by Chuohku. I don't know whether my father did it to protect his reputation, to save his own skin from Chuohku, or because he felt intimidated by this man. But when my father heard that he was free, he was one of the many who opposed the Prime Minister's decision. Peh, a lot of good opposing it did..."

Touya Kisaragi

"I remember this kid. It was a busy night at my restaurant, and while I was cooking, one of the staff members said they saw a vagrant or something scrounging around in the trash outside. Now for those of you that don't know me, let me state for the record: I have nothing against the homeless, vagrants, orphans, or people who are less fortunate. In fact, I always try to provide a helping hand to those if I can. I'm not a saint or an angel, of course, but I feel if you can provide a little kindness here and there, then you're making the world a better place."

"But this kid... if it were anyone else, I would have gladly welcomed them into my place for a bite to eat. But when I saw his face, I instantly knew who it was. The one who had been killing all of those people throughout Japan. I was tempted to call the police on him, but instead, I just chased him away. I don't know why, maybe I was still in shock because I didn't think I'd actually see the Sweetheart Killer eating out of my trash. But anyway, I put a lock on the dumpster and went back into the shop. I didn't see him again, after that. And I'm not at all sad about that."

Rintaro Himura

Luis's eyes turn red and a glare appears on his face as he stares at the photo of the pyromaniac. "This bastardo... he almost took the life of my Abuela. You all recall how Tomi said that several city blocks here in Aoyama were burned to the ground? Well, this bastardo is the reason for that. I don't know how, but there was so much fire everywhere, it was like a scene out of hell. And in one of those city blocks... was my Abuela's house." Luis is steadily losing his composure.

"Thankfully, she wasn't home when the fires occurred. But... she had lost her home. Everything that she had owned. Her pictures, her wedding dress, her childhood memories... all of them were lost, burnt to the fucking ground! And all because of this maldito bastardo! He didn't care about any of the lives he destroyed! And I don't rightly care for them, myself. But no one messes with my grandmother!"

"You claim to love fire, Himura? Well, I'll show you just how dangerous fire is, you follador. I'll show you a side of fire you've never seen before. You think the fire you suffered during your childhood was bad? No, compañero. That fuego was nothing. I'll show you fire like you've never seen before. That's right, boyo: you and me, we're taking a one-way trip to Infierno. And when, if you return, we'll see if you'll have the gall to ever look at another flame again."

Death Row Block

"Like Tomi and Karada mentioned, the Prime Minister is making a mistake setting these men free. ...But I suppose that is none of my business. I simply hope that once these men commit a crime, she will be prepared to accept the consequences of her actions. But that is neither here, nor there."

"If these men wish to fight, then I will gladly accommodate them. ...And as for you, Himura..."

Luis lights a cigarette and looks at the screen, his face and eyes red as he speaks with a fervor that you only hear when he is trying to contain the rage inside him.

"Quise decir lo que dije, bastardo. Pagarás caro por casi matar a mi abuela. El infierno tiene un lugar especial para personas como tú, Himura. Y te voy a enviar personalmente allí."

"Así que mientras tanto, te sugiero que aprecies tu libertad mientras puedas. Porque cuando nos encontremos en el D.R.B., te prometo que la muerte estará esperando. Dios te ha juzgado. Y yo soy su verdugo."

("I meant what I said, you bastard. You will pay dearly for nearly killing my grandmother. Hell has a special place for people like you, Himura. And I'm going to personally send you there.")

("So in the meantime, I suggest you cherish your freedom while you can. Because when we meet in the D.R.B., I promise you, Death will be waiting. God has judged you. And I am his executioner.")

#hypmic #hypnosis mic #hypnosis microphone #hypmic oc #hypnosis mic oc #luis kōkyū #katsushika division #akihisa mashiro #touya kisaragi #rintaro himura

[casitafallz]

LTRL AU | Actions have Consequences, dear

Luisa hadn’t known what she had walked up upon as she headed to collect some stones from downtown for the new repairs the church needed to one. A rogue lightning strike of natural weather had caused damage, a small fire that had damaged the roof and the supports that needed replacements. There had been a few plans of renovations as well on top but Luisa knew her heavy-lifted was needed and it felt good to be needed.

She hadn’t quite noticed the man standing at her Abuelita’s door until she was past him and about to turn down towards their quarry and paused—she knew her Abuelita wasn’t home to answer the door; why was he there—turning her head in time to see her elder sister pulling him in with excitement and a sense of hurried before it was shut swiftly.

Luisa stared for a long moment.

A part of her hoped that her eyes had simply deceived her and she hadn’t seen Isabela invite a fit, young man into Abuelita’s home was no doubt in the same age range. She knew vaguely this was the Marquez kid, she didn’t know names but she knew he worked in the carpentry business given she wasn’t to give help to the boy, his father or even the sister now they were blacklisted from Madrigal aid. The family wasn’t supposed to help which meant it…wasn’t for commissions Isabela had invited him in for.

It almost made her skin crawl at the idea because she knew what a man and a woman would do if they were clearly sneaking around. It wasn’t the activity in general that repulsed her but…Isa doing it and…the sneaking around behind their backs that did added to the discomfort.

Perhaps it also was the fact that Abuela had made it clear growing up that things should only be between married couples. Luisa knew from the accidental-walk in with her parents to know, but they were married and so, it was okay.

Not this.

Not Isabela.

Luisa found herself awkward hurrying away from Abuelita’s house because…she didn’t want to hear or see anything. Not that.

Isabela wasn’t married and… she was with a boy. Luisa knew the rules were a little different now given Isa was between homes but this? This wasn’t right. The No-boys rule was very clear and Luisa hadn’t heard Abuela mentioning it would drop. How could she easily just… do that and at Abuelita’s house as well?

It turned her stomach. That wasn’t right either. Abuelita didn’t know if Isa had snuck him in. It seemed perfect for her sister to see the opportunity; both of their grandparents were out; the house was empty. Abuelita didn’t deserve to have her home defiled in such behaviors. They didn’t need that shame. They deserved so much better than this now.

Why was Isabela doing this?

Luisa had thought she wanted to change, especially after that plant mess on the day Mirabel got her door. Luisa had felt pity then but… that was less extreme than this. Nreak rules for her…enjoyment. She needed to set this right, somehow. This didn’t need to happen. Isa didn’t need to add more issues to the family.

Didn’t they have enough problems as it was?

Luisa knew she had to be there for Mirabel; keeping her safe and she couldn’t afford to let a repeat happen again. Not to Mirabel and not any more damage to the family. She was strong, and she could protect the family… but even then she knew the limits if this got past the family borders.

Like this.

With Isa and the boy.

“Luisa, are you alright?”

Luisa hadn’t realized she was hovering at the edge of the street to the plaza, hands clenched at her sides and she didn’t know what expression was on her face before she looked down to see Abuela staring up at her in concern. She felt her heart increase but she felt relieved to see her.

Abuela.

Someone to sort this out.

Luisa paused for a second. “I…I don’t know.” She spared a glance down the street she had been coming from “Er…”

Abuelita followed her gaze down the street though looked at her in confusion at nothing, probably expecting there to be a rogue donkey, which Luisa would have preferred. At least then it was something she could handle and know how to handle.

“Can you tell me what happened? I’ve never seen you look so stunned.” Abuela’s concern was touching.

Luisa stared, trying to find the words for a moment. “So…I…think I saw Isabela invite a man into Abuelita’s house.” She croaked out uncertainly. “I… thought she wasn’t supposed to be with boys?”

Abuela’s face turned from concern to confusion before masking off into careful anger. “A man? In Vera’s home….How old?”

The question threw Luisa off for a second but she scrambled quickly to answer. “I’d say…he looked about Isa’s age, possibly. Dark hair, tanned skin, muscular arms… just a bit shorter than Mariano. I think…he’s the Marquez boy, the blacklisted family but I can’t be sure.” Luisa didn’t know much more; she hadn’t paid that much attention to anything else because she was still processing the entire thing. “She looked…very happy to see him.”

Abuela spared a look around though nodded. “Lead me there.”

Luisa’s eyes widened, “Wait, you want to interrupt? What if they….” She didn’t finish but Abuela was already setting off though catching her up was easy in her long strides. “Shouldn’t we wait until…after?”

The entire notion was awkward; waiting for them to be done. No one needed a timer on that. She certainly didn’t but waiting was far better than walking in and seeing two naked people—and one of those was her sister. No thank you.

Abuela paused if for a moment in stride, “I’d rather not risk it, Luisa. If your sister is… breaking purposely set rules, I can’t just let that slide. God forbid, we don’t need anything to come from this when he finishes.”

The phrasing made her cringe a little as they got to the front steps.

“Oh, I know that I agree but I don’t want to see them…like that, Abuela” Luisa admitted. “It’ll be embarrassing…for all of us.”

Abuela gave her a look before she sighed out. “I know this isn’t what you want but… this cannot happen.” She reached the handle, giving it a turn but it didn’t go all the way—indicating it’s security—before she turned back. “Do you have a spare key?”

The locked door seemed to be another indicator of unsavory behavior. Luisa fished out the key from the pocket sewn into the inside of her skirt then wordlessly stepping opened it up and took a hesitant step in and nodded her chin towards the way towards the stairs; she knew her way more about Abuelita’s house more than Abuela after all.

Her stomach churned a little as she hesitantly followed, though cringed as she heard the creak of a bed spring before Abuela decided to go all out and slammed the door open.

Barely a second passed before Abuela spoke with a familiar, rage Luisa hadn’t wanted to hear.

“Get. Dressed. Now.”

Just past her shoulder, Luisa had the unfortunate sight to see Isa and the man both without their shirts, his hand clearly under her skirt though both looked shocked and pale like statues in fear that did not feel good to see.

Abuela spun around and gestured to her to follow. Luisa complied without a doubt.

“Take Marquez to his shop when he comes down, inform his father his son it not welcome around Isabela then get your other grandparents. We need to talk.”

“Si, Abuela.”

  Isabela felt sick.

Her insides felt like a cold void and her head felt light but she could feel her hands shaking under the table, tensely gripping the edge of her skirt and doing everything she could to stay composed. It was barely working though she felt the tears streak down her eyes, she kept her breathing in order; to claw on any sense of self-control than break down. Blood pumping through her ears was deafening but she tried to stay and keep composed as she could; to try and not feel this.

She didn’t want an early birth if stress would trigger it. It deserved so much better.

Dolores was on her left, pale and tense but the girl’s warm supportive, and tense touch on her knee helped; one the few things grounding her to the scene of the dining room and her Abuela’s fuming rage and her parent's distant discussion about her.

Tia Pepa and Tio Felix were there, seated with them but they were only there for Dolores who had run off, probably to try and talk Abuela down but clearly, it failed. Abuela knew by the girl’s reaction that she knew she had been keeping secrets; keeping this a secret. Isa hoped Dolores wasn’t punished too much. It hadn’t been as bad as what she did so she liked to think she wouldn’t face the loss of her relationship.

Luisa hadn’t returned yet.

She didn’t know what would happen… but she was terrified. The humiliation of being caught in bed by her own Abuela kept her cheeks tinged pink but she felt a bubbling anger in her veins, mostly at Luisa. Something she hadn’t expected would be that Luisa of all people would sell her out like this. No understanding or even trying to see of why

She didn’t dare want to admit the pregnancy to the family. Not now. Not after this…

Not to mention, she was terrified for Mateo—what had happened to him because… there was no doubt in her mind that Abuela would have seen to home going directly home. To his family.

She needed Fran… needed her to help him.

“It’s okay, Isa” Tio Felix’s voice echoed somewhere distantly close by and pulled her from her mind “this will all blow over.”

“Felix...” Tia Pepa’s voice was warning but not disapprovingly that more cautiously. “We’re not to condone this.”

“My Vida, she looks like she’s about to faint.” Felix replied, “And well…your mother once caught us in bed once before we told her we were dating. We all knew how you felt and…I guess it’s much worse for Isa right now.”

Tia Pepa’s face softened through the chill and the snow was unmistakable and it felt somewhat pleasant to focus on than her mind and fears.

“Isa,” Tia Pepa’s voice was somewhat soft this time, “you knew you weren’t supposed to be with a boy… why?”

Isabela swallowed, which was hard when her moth felt like dry paper but she found her voice. “I just…wanted to be happy.” She croaked. How broken her voice sounded, Isabela didn’t know but her eyes dropped as soon as she noticed Abuela leading her parents back toward them.

“Dolores. Go to your room. Pepa, Felix, You’ll discipline your daughter accordingly for her silence on the matter.” Abuela ordered swiftly, taking a seat.

Dolores’s hand begrudgingly let go before she jumped to her feet, heading off but not before Isa felt her look behind her but Isa kept her focus on a particular smudge on the tabletop. Her Tio and Tia left but not before she felt Tio Felix’s hand on her shoulder in passing.

Silence laps across the table and then their steps were gone and Isa idly wished she was with them. Away from this.

“One of the punishments I set after you attacked your sister was no boys.” Abuela started sharply, “I did not want you to date, let alone…bed the next boy you befriend. Let alone in the home of your other grandparents.” Her voice hinted with disgust, making her shrink down in her seat. “I didn’t think you were emotionally ready for such a commitment. I still don’t. We even made changes even to accommodate your new living situation because Vera insisted that you could be trusted. ” Her back was poised and her gaze was burning and Isabela still couldn’t meet her eye.  “What do you have to say for yourself?”

Silence fell between them but Isabela did the one thing that surprised not only Abuela and her parents, but herself; she snorted with dry laughter.

“Isa, this is serious,” Julieta whispered tiredly.

Isabela nodded in agreement. “I know,” she croaked, her lips drawn up into another, humorless smile, another sound leaving her lips. “Abuelita knows!”

That caught the other three off guard.

“Excuse me.” Abuela’s face covered her surprise.

Isabela sucked in a shaky breath, but where the confidence came from, she didn’t know but it gave her the strength to answer. “Abuelita knows. I told her everything. She said it was okay.” She had never been more grateful to actually told Abuelita the truth yesterday.

“What?” Agustín sat up, his face creasing in concern. “She gave you permission?” he wasn’t…angry like she expected but he seemed troubled—not that she overly cared right now about the fine print of his or Ma’s feelings.

“Yes.” She answered abruptly. “She didn’t agree with the no-boys rule so why are you so surprised, Pa?”

“Don’t speak to your father like that,” Abuela spoke, “and that shouldn’t change a thing, Isabela.”

“Let’s all take a breath here,” Julieta called out. “Ma, this conversation needs Vera as well to clear up the…mess this had landed us in. We should wait until Luisa brings her here.”

Isabela snorted a little, her nails digging into her palms. She couldn’t see that conversation ending well.

“How long have you…been with Señor Marquez?” Abuela asked next, getting back to the topic.

Isabela turned her focus from her father back to Abuela, keeping her clenched hands under the table still. “We started to talk just after Camilo spilled to the town as friends but we…didn’t do anything until about Antonio’s birthday.”

“Seven months?” Julieta’s eyebrow rose in surprise. “That long?”

Isabela shrugged, taking a shallow breath in. “Si.”

“Have you been using birth control?”

“Of course.” Isabela felt mildly offended that Abuela had to ask, she wasn’t stupid after the first time. Even if now, she was very pregnant, but while that was on her for succumbing to the emotional need for love and affection after what had happened. It…really put it in perspective that things would be no better if she spilled about the baby. Not now.

Not yet.

“At least you have some responsibility.” Abuela shook her head. “I can’t believe you’d do this…after everything you’ve done to this family?”

Isabela looked back to the smudge.

“Isa…. Why did you do this?” Julieta asked quietly, her undertone laced with disappointment. “I thought you wanted to try harder.”

Isabela’s eyes flickered up from the smudge, snorting once but she couldn’t help the sneer on her face as she looked to her. “I did. Nothing happened.”

“Isa…”

“No, Papa.” Isabela gave him a look at his interruption. “I did what I could… and nothing happened. I thought punishments were meant to lift… one or two at the least but nothing I did bared any weight to that in those first few months. Do you know how exhausting it is to wait and see when you can’t see the end? Do you have any idea how…isolating it is? The punishments that did lift wasn’t because of trust. All the friends I had abandoned me. No one wanted me… He did.”

Isabela was surprised she could feel the anger surface so quickly, turning her attention to the other person that had played a part in this. “Mama, you haven’t made the effort to hugged me, or kissed my cheek or anything for months!” She snapped jumping to her feet, surprising the three adults. “When I tried, you recoiled away from me. All I wanted that love and affection and I wasn’t getting that from any of you! So yeah, I sought it from someone else because I needed it.”

Abuela stood up sharply, “Isabela that’s enough!”

Isabela snapped her jaw shut though it took everything to not carry on as she glared at her grandmother.  

“Go to your room.”

She didn’t need to be told twice before she bolted but she barely got two steps before the familiar figure hurried into the dining room, looking disheveled before Isabela changed her direction and flung herself into Abuelita’s arms.

  Vera was furious.

Again, how much fury would her in-laws and family involve before things would remain calm, she didn’t know but she knew something was wrong by the look on Luisa’s face when the girl had entered her shop because Luisa rarely came into the shop alone.

Word of 'Isabela being caught with a boy', Vera knew the worst had been assumed and she had to control the damage that would no doubt follow suit. It took much longer than she’d have liked, but she had ended the work day early and sent the girls home with projects to finish at the least and had Ruben lock up the shop to get home.

The last thing she needed in December was an early close so close to the start of Novenas, now only two days away when they had a lot to do but…it had to happen. She’d not risk the life of her great-grandchild over a celebration or argument.

There was a relief to see Isabela run over to her, her cheeks tear-streaked but Vera rubbed her back in soft circles, feeling the girl’s body shake and her breathing ragged.

“Your Abuelito’s at home, go straight there and he’ll give you tea to calm down.” Which what exactly why she had pushed for Ruben to stay at home. Keep Isabela calm and the tea would send her off to sleep; calm her straight down and reduce the stress on the baby.

Isa nodded quickly and more or less ran out without a backward look, her hair down and acting like a curtain between her and the world.

Outside, it began to rain heavily but Vera paid it no need. Isabela would be fine.

“Mama—“

“Sit down” Vera’s patients were worn thin as Agustín rose to his feet though he recoiled from the tone of her choice. “Do not speak until I have because I am not happy about this.”

“Vera, Isabela broke one of the punishments we set out,” Alma spoke, her chin raised. “Just because you allowed it, doesn’t mean it’s a shared sentiment.”

“Tell me what happened, then I’ll judge from there.” Vera sat invited at the table, her head high.

“Isabela was caught in bed with the Marquez boy, half undressed. What she’s doing was enough to indicate her intentions.”

“Who caught her in bed?”

“I did.”

Vera’s eyes narrowed tightly at that because…of course Alma Madrigal of all people did. “You just…walked into someone else’s home to spy on your granddaughter, Alma?” She questioned. “You value privacy and yet you invade ours.”

“I think that’s stretching the truth a bit.” Alma shook her head confidently. “I did not spy on her and I was let in. There is a difference but I do think you’re looking at the wrong thing here.”

“I knew Señor Marquez was going to be at my home with Isabela,” Vera stated, satisfied seeing the look of surprise on the four faces. “Isabela told me this morning of it and I wouldn’t have been surprised at the need for clean bed sheets.” It filled her own requirements for Isabela’s actions to be discreet and safe. Nothing was more discreet than her own room.

“You knew?” Luisa’s voice echoed behind her, the now 20-year-old moved closer to the table, “I thought…” She stopped.

Vera turned her stern gaze over to Luisa. “Luisa, what did you do?” She asked carefully.

“She did the right thing.” Alma spoke up, “this should not have been a secret.”

Vera let out a frustrated sigh but she couldn’t help but mull on the implication of 'Doing the right thing', being let in—only her son and grandchild had a key to her home for emergencies, or if she needed them to pick something up or drop something off. An extension of trust because…she never thought any of her grandchildren would let someone in like that for that purpose.

“Did it not occur to you that Isabela and I are on good terms that we talk… and she trusted me to tell you of her relationship with that boy when she was ready for you to know.” Vera pressed. There was no mention of the baby so clearly, Isa hadn’t spilled about that. “She needed to talk to him and so what, if it’s against that particular rule, Alma? You��re the only one who seems to be hanging onto that and every fault she makes to justify your need to keep punishing her.”

“She’s not ready for a relationship.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Alma.” Vera fired back. “You forced her into one, don’t you forget. Of course, that’s where you see her issues, right.”

“Mama!”

Vera held a hand up, silencing her son swiftly with the gesture. “I will talk to you later, Mijo. I’m already disappointed in you, don’t make it worse.” She turned back to Alma. “Isabela will not be punished for this and I think it’s best for her mental well-being, she does not return to Casita for the week.” She rose back to her feet. “I have a lot of work to do and more so because of this interruption.” Though she turned her attention to her middle granddaughter this time. “Luisa, where’s the key you used?” Her voice was soft, as mad as she was at Luisa, she wasn’t going to be overly harsh just yet but she needed the girl to know that this would not happen again.

Luisa’s eyes widened in alarm. “My key?” her hand came to her skirt.

“Si, show me,” Vera asked.

“Mama, what are you doing?”

She heard the scraping of the chair and her son rise from his seat but she solely focused on Luisa before the giantess glumly reached into her skirt pocket and pulled out the shiny, bronze key, and held it out uncertainly

“I will return this to you when I trust you to use it properly.” She plucked the key from her fingers and slipped it straight into her coat though patting Luisa’s arm softly as the girl’s eyes welled up. “I come by later, Agustín.”

And with that, she hurried away from Casita.

#encanto #encanto au #lest the rot lingers au #isabela madrigal #luisa madrigal #mirabel madrigal #julieta madrigal #agustin madrigal #agustín madrigal #pepa madrigal #felix madrigal #dolores madrigal #alma madrigal

[casitafallz-a]

Decay AU | Lest the Rot Lingers P3 (rewritten)

Isabela felt sick. A nauseous sick with no follow through, she could feel the adrenaline in her veins and she couldn’t stop pacing because of those combined. She couldn’t sit still and it was like her senses were in overdrive in dreaded anticipation that she knew was coming in the form of Abuela.

It had been hours since she had hurt her sister and no one had come to her which made it all the worse; in her mind, she was churning it all over and over and it made the sensation in her gut more willing to rise.

Guilt clawed at her throat, her feet ached with how long she had been on them and her roses had long since prickled her ankles painfully. Her back ached the most from Luisa’s sudden shove into the bannister pole and she was sure she’d get a horrible bruise but….she couldn’t pay the aches in her body any heed; it didn’t matter because she was certain Mirabel was in a worster state than she was.

She could only imagine what Abuela was thinking and none of it was good. Abuela had seen her do it as well. Isabela knew how it looked; she had no defences that made herself look reasoned and she doubted Mirabel was in a good state to say anything; not that she thought she would paint her in a good light anyway.

Isabela didn’t notice the shift in colours in her pacing around her room the roses and flora de mayo turn to a flurry of others like peonies and marigolds… but some patches of roses had simply withered away in some areas, like her poised statues that fell apart one after the other. None stood proud.

Did Mirabel hate her now? How would she explain this? Isabela hoped she was okay…

The door opening suddenly had her jumping out of her skin in a wash of new fear, she could feel the flowers pop into her hair before she looked down to her somewhat grassy patch she was in. Abuela was the first to enter, her head held high with a face of thunder that she had never had to been at the end of personally.

Until today.

The coils of shame wrapped around her insides like a frozen grip. Cold and burning.

Behind Abuela was her father but he didn’t seem to be nearly as imposing as Abuela but his expression was serious; all the fun nature he usually was just absent now. Another stab of guilt clawed at her stomach. She had hurt her family; of course, her parents would be ashamed of her behaviour too, not just her Abuela.

Her fingers balled up tightly behind her, feeling small and insignificant as Abuela came to a stop a few meters away from her and her bed.

“I…” Abuela started, “I am so disappointed in you.”

She expected Abuela to raise her voice and start yelling but the calmness was very disconcerting along with the words. Isabela couldn’t meet her eye.

“Our blessings were given to help our community. Our family. Never before has a gift been used for malicious intent or in anger such as that.” Abuela shook her head in disgust. “I never expected you to stoop that low and hurt not only your younger sister but someone who cannot defend themselves.”

Isabela flinched at her words, her throat feeling thick.

“You could have killed her.” Abuela shook her head tightly, “You’re fortunate that Dolores alerted me sooner. You may just have if I hadn’t and in all honesty, I have no idea what would have happened if you did.” She inhaled deeply, “Not to mention, if this got out then your actions have damaging consequences to the family and our reputation.”

Isabela found her voice. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean—“

“Save your apologies, Isabela.” Abuela snapped quickly, “Right now, I am not here to hear them or some petty excuse for your actions. You got angry and you used your gift on your sister to hurt her. That is not acceptable. I will not accept that behaviour in this family and certainly not over a boy.”

Isabela’s jaw snapped shut, wanting nothing more than the ground to swallow her up and to stop hearing the words that were so true. Abuela had a standard set and she hit the bar low now. She pulled on all the years of a ‘perfect’ act to keep her face straight; to keep her standing than to collapse on the floor.

Not in front of Abuela.

She had to have some dignity, even with the grief and regret that grew in every beat of her heart that she knew she deserved. That didn’t stop a few more of her flowers to wither and die at her feet or how the flowers in her hair also died and dropped off.

Isabela didn’t notice.

“Right now, no punishments have been decided. Until then, you’re confined to your room. You’ll only be allowed to leave under two conditions; bathroom needs or a life-threatening emergency. Your parents will bring you your meals.”

Isabela nodded numbly. “Si, Abuela.”

With a high head and nothing else to say, Abuela turned and walked away. She expected her father to follow but instead, he reached forwards and a warm hand came to her arm but she refused to look him in the face; scared of seeing his expression. His seriousness…his disappointment. She could already feel it.

“Clean up the mess in your room while you’re at it. I will not have you lose any more control of your gift.” Abuela added before she saw herself out and the door shut after her.

There was a moment’s pause before Agustín broke the silence she was unwilling to break.

“She’s okay, Mirabel’s trying to get out of bed but Antonio’s keeping her in for now.”

Isabela exhaled softly, relief flooding into her veins but it didn’t too long. Not really.

“I...I didn’t mean to hurt her.”

“I know.” Agustín sighed, “But, meaning and doing are two different things, Isa.”

Isabela shrunk away from his touch. Folding her arms around her middle to self-soothe; to keep grounded than break down now.

“Isa…” His tone hardened if a fraction at her blatant rebuke of his attempt of small affection.

“I know I’m in trouble, Papa.” She spoke more firmly. “I know what I did is wrong. I don’t need to be told a hundred times. I’m…relieved Mirabel is okay. I…need to be alone right now.”

That was when she gave him a soft, pleading look, hating how he looked so…disappointed in her right now, aching her heart just a little bit more but he nodded after a moment.

“Me or your mother will be in later with your dinner.”

Isabela nodded before she turned and headed towards her bed, her feet crushing the dying flowers under her shoes with ease but hearing the door filled her with relief as much as her glance to check she was alone…

Before she let herself crumple to her bedside and let her grief out in tears and painted breaths as she began to tear up her flower beds of those that survive her rot. Holding back her desire to scream out in her overwhelming heat of emotions that swam to the surface, simply to not have Dolores raise alarms, but the heat rushed through her veins and outwards into her plant life, her fingers digging into the soil as her shoulders shook.

Pink died, more flowers withered, and sharp thorns took up place along the spurt of dark plant life with Buttercups, yellow Carnations, petunias, black roses and even Aconite flooded her field. The vibrant colours all but seeped away in her grief.

Her jaw remained clenched to keep her sound in and she could only feel her blood pumping in her veins but it felt good to vent in the only way she could, even if it was no do service for her.

Eventually, even that heat faded away to just tears, curling up in her nest of oblong leaves that felt like a shield between her and the world.

Mirabel’s eyes lingered through the gap between the door, watching as Abuela leave Isabela’s room…then Her Papi who headed straight down the steps but she couldn’t help but feel how her heart thudded in her chest and more so as the flowers around her elder sister’s door withered away.

Mirabel slunk back onto her bed.

She knew…in her bones, Isabela hadn’t meant to hurt her. Anyone in a careless rage would lash out… but…Mirabel didn’t know what to feel now. It was all so confusing to understand, but the idea of going near her room— knowing she was inside—brought an uncomfortable itch and a cold sweat that she didn’t want to feel.

Mirabel just…felt a little surprised at how Abuela of all people were now acting. It was serious, she understood that but…Abuela’s attitude towards her was different now. Softer and warmer she hadn’t felt since she was five in a way she had longed for since.

Getting that affection after this…

It felt almost wrong.

It felt almost wrong to want that from Abuela too. It felt almost wrong to steal that from Isabela. Why did it have to be Isabela’s actions against her to….get her to see her again? Why couldn’t she had earned that by trying hard and being seen without physical harm? What…what did that mean for Isabela now?

“Mirabel!” Antonio burst into the nursery, running up and into her bed, his little arms wrapping around her neck tightly before he burst into tears. “I was so worried! Mami wouldn’t let me go up here sooner! Your clothes are so red and I think that’s a bad thing and Mami can’t get the red out and…and—“ he didn’t finish before he got overwhelmed and just buried his head into her shoulder.

Mirabel shushed him softly, tiredly rocking and stroking his back in soft waves.

“I’m okay,” She whispered. “Mi Mami fixed me up all good.”

Antonio’s little hands grasped her new shirt intently. “Tia shouldn’t have had to in the first place! You…. You shouldn’t haven’t gotten hurt!”

Mirabel closed her eyes. Did no one screen Antonio away from what happened? He didn’t… he didn’t need to have seen or heard of what had happened… he didn’t deserve to have that knowledge. He…he was still 4 years old. Just under two and a half months away until his 5 birthday. How could he understand?

“It was an accident, Toñito.”

Antonio pulled away with a deep frown, a pearly tear still making its way down his cheek. “Camilo said Isa almost killed you with her gift. That…that isn’t an accident that just happens!”

She could see he wasn’t going to be convinced…and she didn’t have the energy to argue with him on the matter so she pulled him into a hug instead to which he happily snuggled into her chest.

The silence only lasted a few minutes before Antonio’s voice echoed next which almost broke her heart to hear.

“I…I hope I don’t get a gift like hers…. I don’t wanna hurt anyone with my magical gift..”

Downstairs, Abuela helped wash up as Julieta continued to stress cook and Abuela savoured the repetitive distraction as she did so; well aware of her daughter’s tense posture and the silence between them.

Julieta was clearly lost in thought, despite her break, Agustín had pulled her away for; it wasn’t enough for her to be pulled away for long.  Every so often, Julieta would huff out and change what she was doing, or her jaw would clench or just…glower into the fires as if that’d make them burn any faster.

“Juli, talk to me.” Abuela decided after the third huff. “I can hear your enraged breathing from here.”

“What was Isabela thinking?!” Julieta snapped, shaking her head. “She…she could have just said something…anything. She didn’t need to take it out on Mirabel!”

Abuela sighed out but didn’t know how to answer that. It was the same question she had, even if Mirabel’s comment on Isabela not wanting to marry Mariano; it just didn’t seem all worth attacking a sibling about.

“I wish I knew, Mija.” Abuela sighed, “She will not get off lightly, rest assured.”

Julieta gave her a soft look, a tired one. “What do you plan to do with her, Mama?”

Abuela shrugged. “I haven’t decided. Her relationship is certainly over with Mariano.”

“Are you sure that’s necessary?”

“Yes. She’s clearly in no state to marry, let alone a relationship. No boys until I deem her temperament fit. I am not cruel to force Mariano into the family when she’s demonstrated that sort of unsavoury behaviour.” Abuela knew there was fine line and he certainly deserved better. She’d have to see if he was interested in maybe Dolores is he was still interested in the Madrigal family’ it’s be a shame to let him go. “I want you and Agustín to compile a list of appropriate punishments and I’ll look through them before I decide. You should focus your attention to Mirabel and Luisa in the meantime. I can’t imagine this will be easy living under the same roof as her so I will handle Isabela from now on, okay?”

Julieta inhaled deeply but nodded. “I will speak to Agustín tonight.”

#encanto #encanto au #isabela madrigal #alma madrigal #julieta madrigal #agustín madrigal #agustin madrigal #luisa madrigal #mirabel madrigal #dolores madrigal #camilo madrigal #antonio madrigal #felix madrigal #pepa madrigal #drabble

[sparklykatt]

Part two of my lil casita kicks everyone out drabble give the families consequences and reactions. May be long winded.

After an hour of Julieta and Agustin worrying and pleading at the door or the locked casita, the cast out madrigals were lead to an unoccupied home by the villagers. Just for the night they hoped. Antonio was sent to bed so the rest of the family could talk, though it was obvious he’d stay up late, squeezing a leopard plush he’d brought. The one he wouldn’t let go of, after all, mirabel made it herself. It was too quiet. Now that they had no powers the energy was gone. Surprisingly it was Isabella who spoke up first. “I’m going back tomorrow to apologize.” All heads snapped to her. Their faces made it obvious that they all thought the same thing. ‘Isabella? Apologizing? To mirabel?’ One member had a different thought though. “Apologize?! Mirabel kicked US out! Her family!” Abuela’s anger spiked for the second time tonight. After all, her perfect Isabella apologizing to giftless mirabel was unthinkable. “Mirabel was right though. We treated her as a stranger in her own family and she didn’t deserve it. You in particular went too far.” Isabella took a shaky breath. “Mirabel didn’t deserve a moment of how we’ve treated her.” Many looked down in shame. They HAD been ignoring her a lot at best, and making her feel useless at worst. “Alright, me too then!” Luisa stood to be by her sister. “I also want to apologize.” Julieta and Agustin looked at their daughters with pride and tears. Abuela, seeing that Julieta’s branch of the family would not be swayed, turned to Pepa instead. “Pepa, you must agree! We can’t-” “Abuela… do you realize how hurt mirabel must be after what you said?” Camillo piped up, keeping his head down. In a way, it struck a chord with him as well, because his gift was being other people. He has also thought of himself as useless some days. Compared to the rest of the family at least. “Mirabel truly tries her best. We all see it, but you said something… so awful to her.” Camilo choked up thinking about it. “You’re the one who needs to apologize the most.” Abuela pulled back, glancing to the last two she felt she could get on her side. “Pepa… Dolores… you must…” “please don’t try to make me side with you. I’m the one who heard her cry every week, and heard every little thing you said about her. There’s no way I’m on your side” dolores was blunt and spoke in a flat tone, but her side eye told the old woman all she needed. “…p…Pepa?” Pepa closed her eyes, taking shaky breaths and raking out her hair as if a storm would form over her head. She’d probably feel better about this if it did. “I… I don’t… I think… I also treated her rather harshly. I remember giving her the cold shoulder a lot, but thought because she wasn’t my kid… I really need to apologize to her too. Though… I think I’ll need more time to work up the courage…” that statement sealed the debate. Not a single person was on Abuelas side. “Ma. You should at least think about it. Casita itself is siding with mirabel. If you don’t even try, you may not be able to go back.” Julieta effectively ended the family meeting there, being guided up to her current room by Agustin. Similarly, Felix put a hand on Pepe’s back, spurring her to leave silently. One by one the family followed suit. Leaving abuela to her own devices. “…Pedro… have I… truly hurt them all this much?”

In the morning the family gathered around the table, deciding that Julieta, Agustin , Luisa and Isabella should go and talk to mirabel first. They were the only ones ready, and were closest to her. Camilo noted that he also wanted to try today but wasn’t quite ready, and pepa thought she needed a day or two. Felix was going to be by her side though, so she’ll be fine. Dolores gave no estimate, unsure of what she’d do herself, and abuela didn’t come out of her room. Antonio however was going by his own schedule. “Antonio!” Pepa called as her son scarfed down his breakfast and booked it down the road, in the direction of casita. Isabella huffed. “I’ll go after him.” Not because she wanted to of course, but because if they got all the way to casita, she’d have the perfect chance to talk to mirabel more privately. So she ran.

They eventually stopped in front of casita’s door. Isabella had to wonder is mirabel was even awake yet. Antonio bounded up to the door, knocking excitedly. The door slowly opened by itself, tiles guiding the two towards the kitchen. There, Mirabel sat alone, not eating, but drinking some coffee. Or maybe it was something else. “Isabella? Antonio…” the reaction was too subdued for Isabella. “Mirabel! Antonio clamored into the chair next to her, presenting the stuffed leopard. “It’ll help you feel better.” Mirabel gave Antonio a gentle pet on the head for his little gesture. “…I finally got my own room…” the duos eyes widened. “Do you two… want to see it?” “Yes!” Antonio jumped off the seat with joy as mirabel guided them up. It was placed above the entrance, so it wasn’t noticeable walking in, but the door was there. A glowing door with mirabel on it, standing in front of casita. But the Mirabel on the door looked so angry. The carving stood with clenched fists and glared straight forward. Mirabel gently opened the door, waving them in, sparking Antonio’s personal freedom run into the room. It looked like a normal room at first glance. Large, but normal. But the little details made Isabella more aware of mirabel herself. There was a soft blue carpet covering the entire floor dark blue designs swirling from the center. That was a design she drew years ago, and showed off with pride when she could, even as it got dismissed. A large white bed was set against the back wall, silky bedsheets swaying with some unfelt wind. It looked too simple for mirabel. She never does boring designs. Will she embroider it? And since when does she like silk? There was a simple wooden beside table next to the bed, and a wardrobe and vanity on one wall where made of the same simple wood. It was too uniform for her. The walls didn’t help, being basically white except for a purple accent wall that the bed sat against. It was comforting however to see a messy corner of embroidery, decorated with a couch and coffee table. These were lucky enough to be decorated with colorful pillows and a mess of thread. The problem Isabella felt was a resounding emptiness. The room was too big for so little. “Isabella, look! The wall behind you!” She followed the child’s pointed finger. The wall around the door had a similar base color to the floor, but was decorated with many colorful designs. It was very mirabel. “It’s a nice room.” “Thanks.” The sisters stood silently, the tension of ten long years being felt. “Uhm…Mira…I actually came here to say- I mean I thought a lot about it-” a deep breath and an empty look. “I want to apologize.” Mirabel blinked, pulling back in shock and distrust. “What? Is this some kind of trick? You? Apologizing to me?!” Isabella gave a solemn nod. “After last night I realized that I was also… antagonistic to you. I thought that you were doing something foolish, sucking up to abuela when you had the freedom of not having a gift. Of not having to be perfect. My anger was so misdirected.” The words came out smoother than Isabella thought they would, and mirabel was frozen in a freaked out position. “I realized watching abuela’s outburst yesterday just how awful everything is. For both of us. I was caught up stressing over staying perfect, even almost getting married to some guy just to keep abuela happy.” Mirabel snorted at the blunt description of Mariano. “And you just wanted someone to recognize you. I’m truly sorry none of us realized…” Isabella was cut off by a tight hug. “It’s alright. Thank you isa.” It was quiet, but moved the older sister to tears. Antonio, who had patiently sat to the side, listening, also clamored to join the hug, earning a small chuckle.

Just outside of the room two doors began to light up again

Since im already here I’ll try to make more parts of the family coming back but I wanted these two because Antonio did nothing to mirabel and this au would start just after the entire “what else can I do” scene so isabella would probably be most open to apologizing despite being awful to mirabel at times.

#ecanto #casita #encanto maribel #julieta madrigal #encanto agustin #felix madrigal #pepa madrigal #isabela madrigal #encanto luisa #antonio madrigal #camillo madrigal #dolores madrigal #abuela facing the consequences of her actions #encanto abuela #I’m making all these mfs apologize

[undercoveravenger]

Grant Me A Wish (Or Just Your Time)

Pairing: Camilo Madrigal x Male!Reader

Requested: Yes

Request: “OK so, Camilo x male reader where male reader and Camilo have a game where reader tries to guess when Camilo is using his ability when outside the house. 2 points if he gets it right and Camilo gets one if he fails. They agreed that whoever scores 100 points gets a wish from the other. Whoever wins is entirely up to you."

-----

You laughed quietly as you noticed your best friend’s eyes shifting slightly toward you before snapping back to attention, the only sign that you weren’t actually looking at Abuela Madrigal. You approached the ‘old woman’ casually, grinning up at her, “Hola, Senora,” you said. “How are you today?”

“Quite well, my boy,” she smiled, happiness creasing her face. “How are you?”

You returned her smile, “Doing well. I just got two points in our little game.”

It took a second for your words to sink in before ‘Abuela’ let out a huff and Camilo shape-shifted back into himself. “Damn, I thought that I had you that time. How’d you know it was me?”

“That’s my little secret,” you laughed, reaching out to ruffle his springy curls teasingly. “If I tell you, you’ll change your ways.”

Camilo shrugged, smiling one of his little half-smiles at your fond actions and unknowingly making your heart squeeze in your chest. “Guess you’ve got a point there. This is what, fifty-eight to forty seven?”

“Just you wait, I’ll be the one making that wish,” you teased, nodding. With that, you heard someone calling your name and dismissed yourself, unaware of the way Camilo’s eyes followed you fondly as you walked away from him.

-----

Several Months Later

-----

“Mirabel!” you called, hurrying up to Camilo’s cousin and dragging her out of la Casita Madrigal, hoping to catch a word with her away from the crowds. Particularly away from any chance of your best friend overhearing. “Can I talk to you about something important, please?”

She cocked her head to the side, brows furrowing over brilliant brown eyes, “Is everything okay? Why aren’t you talking to Camilo about it?”

You shrugged sheepishly, eyes dropping to the ground in an effort to hide your embarrassment, “We’re friends, aren’t we?” Granted, you and Mirabel had never been quite as inseparable as you and Camilo, but you’d always been good friends, especially when you continued to make an effort to spend time with her and support her after she didn’t receive a Gift. The two of you still hung out together once in a while, though it was harder since Mirabel’s popularity had increased dramatically since the rebuilding of la Casita Madrigal. “Why shouldn’t I talk to you when I need advice? Especially if it’s about him…” your voice trailed off at the end, struggling to get yourself to continue.

Her eyebrows raised sharply, visibly shocked. If you had been looking, you might have noticed an odd look in her eyes, “This is about Camilo?”

You took a shaky breath, beginning to pace as you tried to get yourself to say the words you’d been denying to yourself for such a long time. “I think I’m in love with him,” you finally forced out.

Mirabel stayed quiet for a long moment as she thought about what you’d told her, “Hey, what was the score in you guys’ game?”

Your brows furrowed as you thought, “Ninety-eight to ninety-nine.”

“You’re wrong,” she said, and you stopped in your tracks, puzzled.

“No, that’s definitely what the score was,” you said, turning to look back at Mirabel in confusion.

Mirabel smiled at you, though the expression was a little different to her normal beaming smile. “No, I think you’ll find that you’ve got ninety-eight and Camilo,” her lips twist up into a familiar half grin, and then her features shift and change, resettling- to your horror- into those of your best friend, “has one hundred.”

“Mierda,” you swore under your breath, instinctually considering trying to run so you wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences of your confession.

Camilo looked at you thoughtfully for a few seconds and you could feel the anxiety building in the pit of your stomach, “I know what I want for my prize,” he said finally, dark eyes fixed firmly on you.

You sighed, resolving yourself. How could you have thought that you’d get away with not resolving the game before being rejected? “What is it?”

“I wish,” Camilo said, drawing it out to tease you further, “for you to kiss me.”

His words shocked you, forcing your eyes back to him. You hesitated, examining him for any hint that this was another of his practical jokes. He looked completely serious.

You swallowed hard before forcing yourself forward, one hand coming up to hold the side of his neck as you tugged him forward and up slightly, guiding him into a better position to press your lips to his in a sweet kiss. You could feel the way his lips shifted into a smile against yours before his hands came up to twist into your hair and pull you more firmly against him.

Camilo was still smiling widely when he finally released you, “I love you too, estúpido,” he teased, leaning up to press another quick kiss to your lips, like he still couldn’t believe that that was a thing he could do now. “Best prize ever,” he murmured to himself, taking one of your hands in his and intertwining your fingers. He started tugging you impatiently back toward the front doors of la Casita Madrigal.

“Where are we going?” you asked curiously, following easily behind your new boyfriend.

“We need to go see Isabella and Delores,” he said, “They need to know that they just lost a bet.”

You laughed, knowing that some people may have been upset at the fact that their romantic interest had been betting on whether or not they’d get together, but instead feeling nothing but fondness and amusement at your new novio’s antics. “Whatever you say, amore,” you said, and you knew it was true; anywhere Camilo asked you to go, you’d be happy to follow him.

#camilo madrigal x male reader #camilo madrigal x male!reader #male reader x camilo madrigal #male!reader x camilo madrigal #camilo x male reader #camilo x male!reader #male reader x camilo #male!reader x camilo #camilo encanto x male reader #camilo encanto x male!reader #male reader x camilo encanto #male!reader x camilo encanto #encanto x male!reader #encanto x male reader #encanto x reader #camilo madrigal x reader #male reader insert #male!reader #male reader #male!reader insert #x male reader #x male!reader #x reader

[rachelbethhines]

Do you think Abuela Alma is a terrible person and abuser like King Fredric?

The grandma from Encanto?

No, of course not.

For starters we never see nor hear about Alma abusing her authority over the town, which is mostly ceremonial and not a legally inherited authority backed by money and armed forces like a king would be. She's in charge because the people respect her. They respect her because she actively helps them. If she was to undermine that by not helping or by causing intentional harm then she would no longer be in power.

So right off the bat the politics are very, very different.

Secondly, we only get a very vague insight into her familial relationships. At most all she does is look disappointed, or orders her kids about. It's not a healthy way to communicate with her family, which the movie points out, but you can't claim it to be abuse without further context.

We get context with Frederic, he doesn't just talk down to his daughter, he lies to her, gaslights her, denies her bodily autonomy using excessive force, and deliberately wields the power imbalance he has over her to force her to comply to what he wants.

Alma nags at her kids, but they don't have stay there and take it. We find out later that Bruno didn't really leave, but that was by choice. No one stopped him from going or setting up boundaries.

Contrarywise you have Isabella making poor life choices because of the pressure of feeling like she has to be perfect, but at the end of day it's still her decision to make. Alma isn't actually threatening her with anything for not going through with the engagement. In fact I'm fairly sure no one knew of Isabella's true feelings until she yelled them at her sister. Which is poor communication on Isabella's part, which she in turn learned from Alma.

That's the point of the movie. Learning to communicate, and how generational trauma can stunt that communication and cause emotional damage even years later.

Which leads to point number three. Intent.

Abusers know what they are doing, they just don't care.

Alma honestly doesn't realize that her behavior is harmful until Maribel points it out to her. Because Maribel is the only one in the family who is willing to honestly communicate. She sincerely believes that she's helping her kids and is blinded to how her actions harm them.

She mistakingly thinks they want what she wants, because who would ever want to go through the horrors she faced? What she does protects them right? Yes in a way, but it's a protection that comes at a price and Alma and most of the family isn't willing to examine what the costs are.

Frederic fully knows what he is doing is wrong. He even abuses Rapunzel with the exact same abuse that she had just escaped from with Gothel. This is pointed out to him multiple times by serveal people throughout the course of the story. But Frederic doesn't care how his actions harms others so long as he feels safe and secure.

He deliberately hides important information that could mean life or death for people just so he won't have to face consequences for his actions. And keeping Rapunzel 'safe', is nothing more than an excuse to avoid his own insecurities.

To Frederic's mind Rapunzel isn't her own person, with her own needs or wants, but an extension of himself. So he tries to force her to comply to what he wants for her without her consideration, despite her actively voicing to him several times that she doesn't want this life.

Which leads to the final point. Redemption.

Alma acknowledges what she did wrong, apologizes, and changes her ways. Frederic never does that.

Alma's past is there to provide context for her actions, it's not intended to be an excuse for anything; which is why she admits she was wrong to both Maribel and rest of the family after the flashback. Then in the final montage song, the family is happy, getting along, and most importantly communicating with each other! Meaning Alma kept her word and did change.

Frederic never acknowledges those he's hurt. His 'traumatic past' is used as an excuse and in actuality doesn't aline with the majority of his actions. It's just a sad thing that happened to him and the audience is expected to feel bad for him even though his victims had it far, far worse.

He also never really apologizes to anyone, not even Rapunzel, and shoves the blame for the rocks onto a poor child that he had been abusing for half a season. Then come to find out, he didn't mend his ways and kept on abusing that poor child even after promising to help him. Nothing was learn. No redemption was to be had.

Not every unhealthy relationship is automatically abusive. You can be trapped in a toxic environment with people who genuinely love you and not even realize that it is toxic because no one taught you how to communicate properly. However, if you're all willing to work on those issues you can make the relationship stronger.

Abuse, though, that's intentional. That is someone deliberately behaving in a toxic manner in order to gain something from thier victims. They know what they are doing, and 90% of the time do not care. Because they know they can get away with it because there is an power imbalance between them and thier victim.

I call Frederic abusive because he exhibits toxic behavior with a clear intent to gain something for himself and goes through with that behavior even though he knows better.

Alma though is someone who has unhealthy relationships because she just doesn't know how communicate with her children and doesn't know how to process her own trauma. She's not after anything specific, doesn't realize the harm her actions cause, and is working towards bettering herself upon realizing her faults.

#rapunzel's tangled adventure #tangled the series #tangled #Encanto #king frederic #abuela alma madrigal

[tuiyla]

what are your thoughts on santana's repeated insistence that she's a cruel/heartless person? she says it in 4x14, she says it in 5x03, she says it in 5x13, and again in 5x18. for most of the series, she seems to have a really hard time believing that she isn't a bad person, even when people like kurt or mercedes try to reassure her. why do you think that is?

I think it's an unfortunate case of the self-inflicted vicious cycle that's really, really hard to break once she's in it. And she's all in by the time the show starts.

So, Santana's mean. Like, really, really mean at times. Even on her good days she's still snarky and way too comfortable casually insulting people. And we could talk about why that is in the first place because that behaviour is learned, not instinctive, but I think @amazonworrier's post covers it well and I should probably at least try to stay on topic lol. So the topic isn't why she's that way but why she can't seem to also recognize her own kind heart, which I'm just gonna take for granted in this post because we're gonna make like Brittany and Mercedes and Kurt and believe in her. Santana's not nice but she is kind. How come she herself is reluctant to accept that?

I wanted to start more so with her own insistence but the more I think about it the more it needs the background of this vicious cycle I mention. So now that we’re taking that she is mean but she is also kind for granted, I present to you the Lopez cycle aka Santana’s guide to bad decisions:

Graphic design is my passion.

Let’s start with her being mean because that’s also how we start the series. This doesn’t need much preamble, we all know what she can be like. Her actions, rightfully btw, result in others being wary of this mean and at times cruel side  she has. Sometimes they still give her the benefit of the doubt, most times they’re reluctant to accept her genuinely kind moments because it feels like a trap. Santana’s reaction shouldn’t be surprised-pikachu.jpeg because she can’t expect her behaviour to not have consequences but it sucks nonetheless. People can’t get better when no one gives them the space to grow (which, we’ll get to). So after the initial offense Santana gets sad by this, and then she gets angry as one does.

Only that anger is an external manifestation; first, she internalizes the low expectations she’s faced with. And this is the bit that’s most interesting for the purposes of this post. For the sake of going through the whole cycle, though, I’ll also note that once she does that, she does a sort of sunk cost fallacy thing and doubles down. Fine, as she’d say when it’s actually really not fine but she doesn’t know how to process these emotions and so here come the insults and general meanness once again because part of the whole process is her concluding that being open and vulnerable are not worth it if people won’t appreciate it. Also worth noting is tons of rejection making this worse, such as her initial confession of love to Brittany and being disowned by her Abuela right after she was outed.

To make this less abstract, we have the example of her first few episodes in NY and then the Pezberry feud in season 5. Santana goes all out when she moves in with Hummelberry and though her intentions are good, she crosses boundaries and doesn’t fully realize what it must be like from their perspective. Them kicking her out of the loft is possibly the best example of her getting sad and then offended and angry in the face of low expectations. Naya acts it really well, it’s all written on her face and then portrayed by the words that are meant to be nonchalant and “whatever” but clearly hide hurt.

And then the Pezberry feud, which, oof. Without derailing this even more before I answer the actual question at hand, this is the exact cycle we see. Rachel immediately assumes the worst of Santana after her audition and how justified or not that was is for another day but fact is, she does, and fact is, it hurts Santana more than she’d care to admit. After all they’ve been through in New York alone, like the aforementioned moving in and kicking out and moving back in, it hurts more than other examples. So Santana doubles down on everything to do with Funny Girl and Rachel, even after Rachel wants to bury the hatchet. At that point it’s part pride, part (still) genuine hurt that makes Santana continue to be a bitch until Brittany sets her straight.

Playing into others’ worst expectations of her sounds counterintuitive and it is, it really is, but it’s hardly a conscious decision. It’s more like a running away from the actual issues that Santana should face head on because, again, as part of the cycle she gets disillusioned with opening up because she fears further rejection and heartbreak too much. It’s significantly easier to be That Bitch and to say she “has no heart” and the like. Before I finally get to that part, I just want to note that this is a rather significant tendency she has in common with Puck, with whom it’s even more obvious since he all but spells it out in Bad Reputation as well as on other occasions:

God, I’m so tired of people judging me for a few mistakes I’ve made. I try to be a good guy. I go to school and I say, “be cool, Puck, be nice.” But by second period, I’ve got a fire extinguisher in my hands and I’m spraying some dweeb with it and I don’t know how I got there.

Not a relevant parallel between the two for the purposes of this post but I think it’s interesting nonetheless and the post I’m writing on the topic might even get finished at some point this century.

This is the tension of the NY arc: Santana knows she’s been a bitch for all of high school and tries to do better but it’s hard when she doesn’t get the positive reinforcement and doesn’t even believe in herself. Her being insecure is alluded to a few times in the series, mostly by way of insults from Quinn and it’s largely considered in terms of her looks or career aspects, not in an interpersonal way. But I believe she is insecure, because she’s relied on that bitch persona for so long and fell back on anger and spite so often that she’s not sure how else to approach things.

A thousand words in and we’re getting close to an answer! So, if we put together the fair few times this cycle repeats and the pretty consistent reactions Santana gets from people even as time goes on and she tries more and more, I think it becomes easier to see why she’d say those things. I find it super interesting that all the example you mention are from Santana’s NY run. That whole NY era has two main arcs for her, imo: career/what to do in the future, and learning to break this very cycle by opening up to other people now that she’s freshly broken up with Brittany, the first person who was willing to climb past her walls. (Disappointing that neither arc reaches a true conclusion and are then dropped in season 6 but this is like the third potential side tangent so, another day.)

This one stings because she’s “been chosen” so it’s another example of her internalizing others’ view of her and doubling down on the bitchiness. We know she isn’t numb (even in this scene she looks like she feels sorry for Schue) but it’s easier to just say that than examine why others think that of her.

Her own insistence, the way I see it, is both a defense mechanism and a manifestation of that final doubling down step. She puts her walls up so as to keep herself from getting hurt (by rejection, by others not believing her) and it’s so easy to play into the bitch persona when everyone already thinks she is that. And again like I said at the beginning, it’s not like they don’t have reasons to think that but then she doesn’t help by playing into.

Part of her, just... doesn’t know how to be good. When she is, it seems to go wrong or not received well, like her misguided attempts to protect Hummelberry and then Rachel still assuming the worst even after all that. Personally, I do believe she wants to be and wants that good heart to show but she’d have to break the cycle somehow. And that can only happen when people do, despite maybe having reasons not to, believe in her and in her capacity for kindness. People can’t grow unless they’re given the space to. This is exactly what happens in The Back-Up Plan, my beloved, where Mercedes’ insistence is immediately followed by Santana doing something life-saving for Rachel. I don’t think she would have believed in herself enough to do that if not for her plot with Mercedes right before. For lack of any other conclusion to this aspect of her NY storyline, I just look at The Back-Up Plan and her convo with Rachel as the conclusion to this arc. She finally decides to use her bitch powers for good, now that she believes she can. And then we see an example of that in Old Dog, New Tricks. Bless Chris Colfer for giving Santana at least that and PR as a viable career option.

It takes her a while despite more and more people believing in her because it’s so deep-rooted and she really needs to be convinced that no, she shouldn’t give up so easily and should always at least try to do better and show her heart. Brittany has always believed in her and that was a comfort but in the NY arc Brittany is all but gone as a safety net and part of Santana’s story is that she needs to branch out. Britt has always believed in all she was capable of, which is imo what the proposal speech refers to, but Britt is just one person. Kurt gives her the benefit of the doubt throughout the NY eps, more so than Rachel and we’re shown the results of that. Most notably, Kurt does manage to convince Santana to read the list she prepared for Finn after If I Die Young because he gets her to see that kindness is good, actually. That she’d still say, “I have no heart” in 5x13 is entirely doubling down during the Pezberry feud because she’s hurting too much from the falling out. And 5x18 is her acknowledging that she messed up, during the feud and otherwise and Mercedes being the one to get through to her and say that no, mistakes don’t mean you should give up altogether. And after Santana saves her ass, hopefully Rachel now also sees that and will try not to enable Santana’s worst tendencies and the Lopez cycle.

The 5x13 one hurts extra but at the end of the day, all of these are Santana being too afraid to believe in herself and to give others the chance to hurt her in any way. It’s a tough cycle to break but, again despite the narratively satisfying conclusion, I’d like to believe she gets there. It’s tough and progress isn’t linear but she has all her besties and Brittany, all people who believe in her, and by the end of the series she even has the chance for Alma to be part of her life again. So really all that’s left is believing in herself.

#santana lopez #glee #glee asks #hopefulobjectmiracle #santana asks #this is the most accidental magnum opus i've ever done #thank you for the opportunity 😌😂 #well hope y'all enjoy reading that at least half as much as i enjoy thinking about the topic #rent free this girl rent free #and also listening to mad woman while writing #ngl if i could get people to read just one thing i've written rn it'd be this #ALSO if anyone's reading this remind me in a day or so #that i was gonna talk more about her anger and default meanness and how there could have been #a storyline about that in s3 if it didn't suck #and had IKAG not derailed it so much

[addisonacres]

Scarletmanuka’s 9-1-1 Masterlist

I thought I’d post a masterlist of my 9-1-1 fics since I’ve got a few new followers who I’m sure are here due to my latest hyperfixation. But hey, when this is what I’m hyperfixating over:

can you really blame me?

Buck Down Under Status: WIP Rating: Mature (this may be increased) Word Count: 30341 and counting After being forced to use up his vacation days, Buck feels more alone than ever. Things are still strained between himself and his Firefam so he reaches out to a friend he met online. Shane invites him to come and stay with him and his wife, and while in Aus, Buck learns how to feed a joey, makes friends with chickens, and when a bushfire rages nearby, he steps up to the fight. The 118 have no idea, until they see Buck's face on international news coverage of the fire.

About That... Status: Complete Rating: Teen Word Count: 4236 Eddie picked up his phone, smiling as he saw that it was a text from Ana. He thumbed open the message and then stared stupidly at the words.   My test from yesterday came back positive. Before he could even comprehend the words fully, his phone pinged again with a second message from her.  I am so sorry, Edmundo. Or, the aftermath of Eddie allowing Ana into their bubble during a global pandemic.

Friends With Benefits Status: Complete, Crossover with 9-1-1 Lonestar Rating: Explicit Word Count: 29678 What if TK and Carlos broke up after the whole 'this is my friend, TK' incident? TK is in LA for a few weeks to get away from everything back home. He texts Buck, asking if he wants to 'get together'. Buck has just watched Eddie head off on a date with Ana, final proof that he'll never get to have the relationship that he wants with Eddie so he happily agrees. But they both know that the other isn't the person that they want to be with. Dumbass and Dumbasser come up with a plan to show their true loves just exactly what they're missing out on.

The Wrath of Abuela Status: Complete Rating: Teen Word Count: 3220 Whilst on his second date with Ana, Eddie's abuela sees them and confronts Eddie, thinking he's stepping out on Buck.

See Me Status: Complete Rating: Explicit Word Count: 12024 Since childhood, Eddie has liked occasionally dressing in women's clothing. He likes being a man, doesn't feel conflicted over his gender, he just feels empowered, confident, and sexy when he's in pretty lingerie and a towering pair of heels. It's always been his secret...until suddenly it's not.

Drag You In Status: Complete Rating: Mature Word Count: 3317 Based on the Tumblr Prompt: Somehow Buck ends up getting roped into a drag competition for charity and everyone teases him relentlessly. On the night of the competition everyone and their families are gathered to see Buck in Drag action. They are expecting something half-hazardly put together, so it takes everyone aback when Buck comes out dressed like a full on Dita Von-Teese pinup who blows every other contestant out of the water, towering over them and smiling the brightest. Eddie is all hot and bothered. 

Symbiotic Status: Complete, crossover with Venom Movie Rating: Explicit Word Count: 34660 Eddie Brock and Venom investigate a serial killer who targets firefighters. They believe that Buck is his next victim and try to stop it. Then things go totally wrong; Eddie and Venom are separated, Buck and Eddie B are kidnapped, and the serial killer suddenly has two victims. It'll be up to Venom and Eddie Diaz to team up to save the men that they love. 

Out Of His Depth Status: Complete Rating: Explicit Word Count: 5945 For the Tumblr prompt: Fic idea: Buck is still a bit traumatized by the tsunami so to try and get over his fear he decides to go skinny dipping in secret one night. Only thing he didn't count on was a dedicated Edmundo Diaz following him and then actually joining him. If it leads to some deep cathartic lovemaking that is a great bonus. 

In Case Of Emergency Status: Complete Rating: Teen Word Count: 5817 Christopher wants to start catching the bus to school which gives Eddie a minor freakout but Buck convinces him to get Chris a phone so he can call if anything goes wrong. Then Buck sees the phone numbers programmed into the phone and realises that his is not there, and he immediately jumps to the wrong conclusion.

The Third Drawer Status: Complete Rating: Mature Word Count:7767 After his return to work, Buck feels lost and alone due to the way he's been treated by the people he thought were his family. In order to stop the pain, he begins to hurt himself instead.

Fire and Ice Status: Complete Rating: Teen Word Count: 1195 The 126 wonder why Marjan hasn't followed Buck 'fire_and_ice' Buckley back on Instagram yet. 

Terra Firma Status: Complete Rating: Teen Word Count: 1884 For the Tumblr prompt: Team goes out to a call to a school play gone wrong and somehow some giant paper mache creation comes loose and crashes onto Eddie's head and gets stuck there. Could be a Planet like Dr. Evil or a giant strawberry, either way Eddie is stumbling around while Buck trying to help him, all the while laughing his own head off at the sheer absurdity of it all. 

Consequences Status: Complete Rating: Teen Word Count: 6558 Buck returns to work after the lawsuit to find his welcome isn't very warm. Some of the 118 crew are more upset than others and it soon turns violent. 

Anchor Status: Complete Rating: Teen Word Count: 3636 Before going to summer camp, Christopher wants to overcome his fear of the water by going to the beach. But he won't go without his Buck.

Or Something Status: Complete Rating: Mature Word Count: 11492 Abby is back in town, newly single and looking to try again with Buck, not that he figures it out. Eddie and Maddie do though and they might have something to say about it.

#911 on fox #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #fic masterlist #fic masterpost

[oliverstarked]

where I belong

[PG-13, 3.4k words]

"Buck's not sure of the exact moment that he knew Eddie was it for him, but it’s been that way for so long now it’s become a part of who he is. He used to be good at pretending his feelings didn’t exist, but he’s so tired these days."

A little bit of introspection, a lot of idiots in love.

[read on ao3]

The ocean is so beautiful at dawn. 

Under the soft pink-orange sky the water looks bruise-purple, whitecaps leaving foamy trails on the sand. The sun is only just peeking over the horizon, edging towards another gorgeous LA day. But before that begins, before the hustle and bustle and wailing sirens, Buck sits on the beach on the cold sand and feels caught in a moment so peaceful, so nice, just the squalling of gulls and the gentle crash of the waves for company. 

He pushes stale air out of his lungs and breathes the fresh in deeply. The chill feels good, raises goosebumps on his skin and reminds him that he’s alive. A reminder he’s needed a lot lately. He’s been struggling, even though his leg has healed, even though the tsunami is months behind him, even though his relationship with his 118 family is better than ever and he has no reason to be struggling. Nightmares come and go, cold sweats, little niggling thoughts that burrow their way into his brain throughout the day. 

He tries not to talk about it. There are so many people who have it worse than him and he doesn’t want to become some kind of social… leech around his friends, constantly draining them of energy by going on about his issues. You’re exhausting , Eddie said to him once. Buck knows it’s true, knows he takes inches and runs them into miles. His heart may be in the right place, sure, but he doesn’t know when to shut up, when to slow down. If there’s one thing his lawsuit mistake has taught him, it’s that his actions, his selfishness, has consequences on those around him. 

So what if he has bad dreams occasionally? He’s not a kid, he can look after himself. It’s more important right now that he’s there for his friends: asking Bobby how Michael’s doing, bridging the relationship between Chim and his brother, being there for Maddie always, listening to Hen talk about how Nia is settling in, being whatever Eddie needs to stop him doing stupid things again. It doesn’t leave a lot of room for his own problems.

It doesn’t matter. That’s just what Buck does for the people he loves.

The warmth of the sun creeps onto his face as it rises higher, prickling his skin. Buck squints into it, seeing nothing but gold, then sighs and gets to his feet. He brushes sand off the seat of his pants before slowly turning and making his way back up the beach. 

At least he gets to go to work. 

   Eddie’s getting changed when Buck walks into the locker room, and Buck manfully pretends he can’t see the miles of bare skin on display. Hen is sitting on the bench, laughing at something Eddie must have said, and it’s easy to grin at the two of them and say, “Well, good morning.”

“Hey,” Eddie smiles, shrugging into a t-shirt, thank god. 

“Buck, I have to show you this.” Hen holds her phone out, a video paused on the screen. Buck takes it, taps play. It’s Nia, holding onto Denny’s hands and bouncing up and down in time with her blonde curls, screeching in delight as a catchy pop song plays in the background. 

“That’s pretty damn cute,” Buck says. “When do I get to meet this li’l nugget?”

“Soon,” Hen tells him, slipping her phone back into her pocket. “It’s a lot for her, the social worker says we need to introduce new things and people gradually.”

Eddie, tucking his overshirt into his belt now, says, “Well, whenever you guys need a babysitter, hit us up. Chris and Denny can play and Buck and I will dote on that gorgeous girl.”

Hen snorts, looking between them. “Should you be volunteering Buck for that?”

Honestly, it didn’t even occur to Buck that he wouldn’t be there. The automatic assumption on Eddie’s part too makes him feel warmer than he did five minutes ago. 

“Hey, you know I’m down,” Buck beams, “you just name the day.”

Hen squeezes his arm as she heads towards the door. “Thanks boys, we will definitely take you up on that.”

When she’s gone, Buck finally moves towards his own locker to start getting changed. Eddie is still there, tapping away on his phone. Buck wonders if he’s texting Ana . If they’ve even reached the ‘exchanging numbers’ phase yet. 

“Hey, man, you wanna grab pizza tomorrow night? You, me, Chris and Mario Kart at my place?”

“Sure,” Eddie agrees, hardly glancing up, definitely distracted. “But, uh, Chris won’t be there, he’s got that overnight field trip at the observatory tomorrow.” 

Damn, Buck should have remembered that. Christopher had been chattering excitedly about it for a couple weeks now. Eddie had mentioned it several times too, although decidedly less excitedly and more in worried-dad-mode. 

“Oh yeah, that’s right. Well, in that case you definitely gotta come over. We can drink beer and watch a movie that doesn’t involve some kind of talking animal.”

“Sounds good.”

He’s still typing. What is he doing, writing a goddamn article? Who could he possibly have that much to say to? 

Buck takes a breath, remembers he’s not being a selfish asshole anymore and gets changed quietly. Ana sounds like a nice person, she’d probably be good for Eddie. Buck’s feelings, his stupid feelings that he’s shoved so far down they make him feel a bit queasy more often than not, shouldn’t even factor into it.

“Are you okay?”

Buck startles at Eddie’s question. He’s not on his phone anymore, but looking straight at Buck, a little crease in between his eyebrows.

“Fine… why'd you ask?”

“You look tired.”

“Yeah. I, uh, got up early to go for a run on the beach. Anyway, not even eyebags could ruin this handsome face so you shut your mouth,” Buck blusters with an exaggerated wink and a bit of swagger as he closes his locker. 

It works, and Eddie rolls his eyes. “So glad that your ego remains unaffected.”

They argue playfully back and forth as they head up to the kitchen together and by the time they sit down to plates of Bobby’s French toast, Buck has all but forgotten his weird start to the day. 

Luckily, work keeps them busy. Any downtime they get is spent either stuffing their faces with food, showering the grime and sweat away, or trying to catch a few minutes of sleep. The entire twenty-four hours passes without major incident, unless you count Chimney tripping on a firehose and falling ass over teakettle on the freshly-waxed station floor. They’re still laughing about it as they get changed to go home the following morning, exhaustion making it hard to stop.

By the time he gets back to his apartment and collapses into bed, Buck’s tired enough that falling asleep is the easiest thing in the world.

 He wakes late in the afternoon, hot and sweaty from the sunlight pouring in through the windows. He showers, eats a sandwich, and texts Eddie to ask what time he’s coming over. 

Some sort of clarity must have crept in while Buck slept, because his head feels a little clearer. Still, he wonders what it means that a clear head feels like some kind of miracle these days. He thinks it means that he might need to talk to Frank again.

Buck grabs his phone and fiddles around on it until he pulls up his contacts. Frank’s name is sitting there right underneath Eddie’s. Before he can think about it too much, he calls and makes an appointment for his next day off. Part of him feels that old anxiety come back, worries that he’s slipping backwards instead of moving forwards, but another part of him is ultimately relieved. He doesn’t have to worry about burdening Frank, it’s his job to listen. He’s not allowed to be exhausted by Buck and his issues. 

By the time Eddie arrives not long after seven, Buck has cleaned his entire apartment, gone grocery shopping to get that beer that Eddie likes, and watched a Nat Geo documentary on bears. It’s been easy, simple, and he’s feeling okay. 

Eddie lets himself in with a smile and a tupperware container, and even though they only parted ways that morning, it’s still good to see him. “Hey, sorry I’m late, Ana called just as I was leaving.”

And just like that, Buck’s stomach sours. 

“She called you?”

“Yeah, I asked her to update me on Chris. She said he’s good, that they’ve just eaten dinner and he’s with his friends.” Eddie pauses, makes a face. “Guess that means I should stop worrying, right?”

“So you guys just talked about Christopher?” Buck asks because he’s an idiot who likes to torture himself. 

Eddie frowns, putting the tupperware on the kitchen counter. “Yeah. What else would we talk about? I emailed the school his overnight care plan this morning and she just wanted to reassure me. Anyway, Abuela made you tamales, shall I put them in the refrigerator or d’you wanna have them with the pizza?”

Buck still doubts that any other parents are getting personal calls from their kid’s teacher, but it makes him feel better knowing that Eddie’s only thought is the well-being of his son. 

Maybe this whole Ana thing is something he should talk to Frank about, too. 

“I’m going back to therapy,” Buck blurts, his brain to mouth filter nonexistent. “I have nightmares. I stopped talking about it because I thought I was being selfish but it’s fucking me up so. Yeah. I’m going back to therapy.”

Eddie’s eyebrows hit his hairline. Buck silently begs him not to make a big deal out of it, and is relieved when all Eddie says is, “Good. Thank you for telling me. The tamales?”

A mildly hysterical laugh bursts out of Buck. He comes forward and wraps his arms around Eddie, so fucking relieved that after everything, he still gets to have this. 

Eddie goes with the moment gracefully, pats him on the back a few times, and when Buck pulls away, Eddie leaves a hand on his shoulder and says, “I’m here for you. I know I haven’t always been great at that before, but I am. You don’t have to do this by yourself unless you want to.”

And Buck knows it’s true, can tell by the fierce determination in Eddie’s eyes, and thinks that maybe this means he’s not so exhausting to deal with after all. That maybe Eddie was exhausted with himself just a little, too. 

“We’re good, Eddie,” Buck says honestly. “I’m gonna call the pizza place, you take those tamales and the beer over to the couch.”

 They’re one and a half movies, two pizzas and half a dozen tamales in when Buck opens his mouth and “So are you and Ana dating?” comes out of it. 

Eddie chokes a little on his beer. “No? I don’t really know.”

It’s not quite the answer Buck was hoping for. “How can you not know, man?”

Shifting uncomfortably, Eddie leans back on the couch until he’s looking up at the ceiling, like he can’t meet Buck’s eye. “She’s nice, and pretty, and good with Chris. I dunno, Buck. It feels like it could go somewhere?”

Buck swallows hard. He knew it. He should definitely have waited to have this conversation until after he’s seen Frank though, because he has no goddamn clue how he’s supposed to be the supportive best friend when every fiber of his being is burning with jealousy. He’s not sure of the exact moment that he knew Eddie was it for him, but it’s been that way for so long now it’s become a part of who he is. He used to be good at pretending his feelings didn’t exist, but he’s so tired these days.

But what he has with Eddie and Christopher right now is the best thing going on in his life — he’s not going to risk losing that. 

“I wouldn’t even know how to ask her out,” Eddie continues, laughing a little at himself. “Out of practice would definitely be an understatement, I have no clue what I’m doing.”

Buck mirrors Eddie’s position, staring up at the beams under the loft. “I think you just say ‘would you like to go out with me’, Eddie. It’s not that hard.”

“Easy for you to say,” Eddie snorts. “I bet no girl has ever turned you down.”

“Ha, you should speak to Joe Levinson from high school,” Buck tells him. God, he thought Joe was so cute. He never told anyone, especially not his parents, and Maddie was off at college, but he used to trail around after Joe like a lovesick puppy. “We’re talking the crush of all teenage crushes here, man. I was so gone on Joe and it was senior year and then prom was coming up, and I—”

“Oh no,” Eddie laughs, “you got turned down?”

“I got humiliated,” Buck grins. “I thought I’d go classic, y’know? A love note in the locker, little hearts doodled on it and ‘I really like you, will you be my prom date?’ written in glitter gel pen. Imagine my surprise when the next morning my note is not just in Joe’s locker, but on the front of every single locker, in the halls, the cafeteria, even the damn teacher’s lounge. He made sure the last few weeks of high school were not good ones.”

“Wait…” Eddie tips his head sideways, confusion written on his face. “Joe was a boy?”

Shit. Buck isn’t ashamed of being bisexual at all, but it occurs to him now that he hasn’t actually told anybody besides his sister. “Uh… yeah?” 

“Did you just come out to me?”

Buck shrugs. “I kinda forgot you didn’t know?”

Their faces are pretty close at this angle, their heads cushioned by the back of the couch. Eddie doesn’t look hostile or disgusted though. He looks thoughtful. 

“That was really brave,” he eventually says, quieter than before. “I can’t even imagine asking a boy out in high school.”

There’s something in the way he says it that gives Buck pause. “Did you want to?” he asks carefully.

“It wasn’t an option.” Eddie doesn’t sound sad, just matter-of-fact. “Besides, I met Shannon in college. And I really loved her, Buck. There were… occasions, while I was in the army, but I never acted on it. I’d made vows, they meant something to me.”

Buck can’t look away from Eddie’s face, pulled in by the wide-eyed openness and the thought that he didn’t know this about Eddie — that they didn’t know this about each other. 

“And now?” he asks, not sure why he’s whispering.

“Now I don’t know,” Eddie says honestly. He licks his lips. Buck couldn’t tell you which of them moved first but all of a sudden their lips are touching, pressing. It’s dry, a little chaste, but most definitely a kiss. Buck shifts, brings his hand up towards Eddie’s face, and barely touches his jaw before Eddie is springing backwards, shock written all over him. 

“Buck, I’m sorry—”

“No, dude, that was all me, I was totally over the line.”

“We just got — caught up in the moment,” Eddie says, and Buck’s not sure which of them he’s trying to convince. 

“Yeah, all that talk about dating and my tragic high school trauma. Woulda been weird if you hadn’t wanted to kiss me,” he smirks, aiming for cool and cocky and probably missing by several miles. 

Eddie lets out a bark of laughter that’s more panic than amusement. They’re quiet for a minute. Eddie’s knee is still pressed against Buck’s, warm and solid. Buck doesn’t know what’s happening here but he knows he really liked kissing Eddie, can still feel his lips tingling. He knows he’s not going to lose Eddie over this though, can’t lose him. He’ll do whatever it takes for that not to happen.

“It was a moment,” Buck concludes, for both their sake. “Moment’s over.”

Eddie’s throat visibly bobs when he swallows. “Right. Y’know, I should probably take off. Before—”

He cuts himself off. The tips of his ears go bright red. It takes every ounce of willpower Buck has not to ask him ‘before what?’

He follows Eddie across the apartment to the door, but he really doesn’t want this to be weird when they get to the station in the morning. He lays his hand on Eddie’s forearm and asks, “We’re okay, aren’t we, Eddie?”

To his relief, Eddie smiles and it seems real. “Of course, Buck. Nothing’s changed. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

As he lets himself out, the door closing softly behind him, Buck can’t help thinking what a bad liar Eddie is. Of course something has changed. Everything has changed. That kiss will hang over them for the rest of their days as partners — as friends. You don’t just ‘accidentally’ kiss your best friend and then act like it didn’t happen. 

Buck wanders into the kitchen, fists his hand in his hair, scrapes them over his face, repeatedly bangs his forehead into the cupboard door. Stupid stupid stupid . 

Restless, he clears away pizza boxes. Drops empty beer bottles into the recycling. Seals the lid on the tupperware and puts the remaining tamales in the refrigerator. Shuts off the TV — how didn’t he notice the movie was still playing? 

He’s wiping down the kitchen counters when there’s a knock on the door. 

Eddie’s standing there on the other side, looking just as wide-eyed as he was when he left. 

“Hey,” Buck says uncertainly, ignoring the swoop in his stomach. “You forget something?”

“Yes,” Eddie says and he takes a step forward, holds Buck’s face in his hands, and crashes their mouths together. 

This kiss is nothing like their last. 

Eddie is demanding, relentless, tongue tracing the seam of Buck’s lips straight away until Buck opens up for him and everything gets hotter and wetter and so much more amazing. His own hands, which had been floundering in surprise, land on Eddie’s waist and Buck walks him backwards until his back hits the open door and closes it with a bang. He leans into Eddie with all his weight, pushes him against the wood, shoves their hips together and groans the filthiest sound he’s ever made into Eddie’s mouth.

It’s incredible, feels absolutely perfect. Buck moves his hands, slips them under the soft fabric of Eddie’s shirt, finding warm skin and hard muscles and a stomach that trembles when his thumb flicks over a nipple. 

With a gasp, Eddie pulls back and smacks his head against the door. Buck removes a hand and places it gently behind Eddie’s head to cushion it, kissing a lush apology to his lips. 

“You feel so good,” Eddie mumbles. “Buck.”

Buck kisses down Eddie’s neck, their stubble rasping, his lips fluttering over Eddie’s thundering pulse. He shoves their hips together some more — once, twice, and again because he can’t stop — and he can feel Eddie’s dick through their jeans and he’s so turned on he can hardly breathe. 

“We should talk,” he says to Eddie, breathlessly, “but first we should fuck.”

“Best idea you’ve ever had, Buckley.”

A grin spreads across Eddie’s face and Buck copies it, kissing him again because he just can’t help it and grabbing his hand, dragging him away from the door and up the steps to the loft.

Two orgasms, one set of clean sheets and one shower later, Buck feels brave enough to say, “I want this every day forever.”

Eddie’s nearly asleep, head right next to Buck’s on the pillow, one arm slung across Buck’s stomach. He cracks open an eye and presses a tiny kiss to the corner of Buck’s mouth. 

“Guess we’re on the same page then.”

“I don’t want you to date Ana.”

The other eye pops open, trademark Eddie Diaz exasperation all over his face. “Buck.”

“Just checking!” Buck laughs, drawing patterns on Eddie’s arm. “Y’know, I’m still gonna need therapy.”

“I’d be worried if you didn’t. Unless sex really is a magic cure.”

Buck tries to smile but instead finds himself softly saying, “I might have a nightmare.”

Eddie kisses him again, for longer this time, then shifts closer and nuzzles his nose into Buck’s temple, his hair. “I’m not going anywhere. Go to sleep, Buck.”

They settle in, warm under the blankets, and Buck closes his eyes, falling asleep quick and easy, between one breath and the next. 

#stupid tumblr mobile deleted the original post when i tried to add a tag so reposting!!! #buddie #buddiefic #buck x eddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 fox #9-1-1 #911 fic #911 fanfic #*fic #useralie #casually tagging alie in everything as i timidly venture into this fandom

[headcanonseverywhere]

The Big News (part 3)

Plot: Jasper and Ava sit down with Alfonso, Ava’s dad, to talk.

The final instalment of the Big News java fic trilogy lol

Part 1 and Part 2 here

The silence in the living room was palpable, and Ava couldn’t bear it any longer, as she and Jasper sat on the couch watching her father Alfonso, who sat on the armchair adjacent to them, take in everything they had told him. Although her father hadn’t said a word since the news, his expression told her everything - his frustration, his worry, and his disappointment towards them.

She bit her bottom lip and looked down at her feet, unable to meet her father’s eyes anymore, until she felt a light squeeze on her hand. She turned and saw Jasper smile at her. It was only for a short moment, but with it alone she felt comforted and safe. Jasper has shown nothing but support for her during this entire situation, and she was very grateful - and relieved - for that. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how she would have handled this situation if things were different.

At last, Alfonso’s sigh broke the silence, and both Ava and Jasper could breathe again, though still remaining tense.

“How did this happen?” he asked.

“Well--” Jasper began, but Alfonso immediately cut him off.

“Don’t even think about answering that question!”

“Daddy...” Ava whispered.

“Ava, how--” Alfonso sighed, angrily running his hands through his hair. “--You’re still young!”

“I know--”

“And you’re still in college!!!”

“I know, daddy!”

“Do you have any idea what it’s like to raise a kid?!” asked Alfonso, rising from his seat. “And on your own?!”

“She’s not gonna be on her own,” Jasper cut in. “I’ll be with her--”

“Oh, you better!” glared Alfonso, pointing a finger at his direction. “Otherwise you won’t leave this house alive!”

“Daddy!” Ava interjected, and Alfonso let out another frustrated sigh.

“Sorry, it’s just--I...” he paused, pressing the bridge of his nose tightly. “...This is not what I wanted for you…”

“I know...I’m sorry.”

Silence returned, as Alfonso sat back down on his chair, and Ava and Jasper remained seated, holding each other’s hand tightly.

“So, what’s the plan?” asked Alfonso, after running his hand through his hair, again. “How are you gonna do this, hm?”

Jasper and Ava exchanged nervous glances with each other, but before facing Alfonso, who had his hands outstretched, waiting for an answer.

“W-We’ll...figure it out.” said Jasper, his voice barely inaudible.

“How?!” Alfonso repeated in an aggressive tone. “Because you gotta start thinking now, or did you think this was gonna be a walk in the park?!”

“N-No, sir--”

“You gotta start thinking about money--money for food, for clothes, diapers, doctor, medicine--”

Ava and Jasper sat silently as Alfonso continued to list off the long list of things to worry about when raising a child, and the more he talked the angrier he got, as his face began to slowly turn red.

“--and you gotta think about where to live too, or did you think you were gonna bum around here, huh?! Leave the baby to Ava, or to me, while you go prancing around with that guitar of yours, like you got no care in the world--”

“No!” Jasper cut in, his fear leaving his voice for a moment. “No, I’d never do that--”

“You better not!” yelled Alfonso, standing up once more from his armchair to walk over to Jasper, pointing a finger at his face. “Because if I catch you slacking off--”

“DADDY!” Ava screamed, tears already streaming down her face.

She started to sob, and that was the only sound that remained in the room until the door opened, and her grandmother, Benita, entered the living room while carrying grocery bags. She stopped once she saw them in the room, and sensed the tension in the air.

“¿Que pasó?” she asked, after placing her grocery bags on the floor.

She glanced at each of them until her eyes fell upon Ava, who was still sobbing, and gently came up to her, cupping her face with her hands. “What happened to you, my love?”

“Mamá, not now, I’ll tell you later--”

“Are you trying to keep secrets from your mother, Alfonso?”

“No, it’s--you know what, fine.” and he turned to Jasper and Ava. “Tell her--tell her what’s going on!”

Jasper and Ava faced her grandmother, who looked down at them with a kind smile. Ava started to control her breathing, as she tried to regain her composure.

“Abuela, I'm pregnant.”

Benita looked at her for a moment, her face unreadable, then glanced over to Jasper and Alfonso, who were waiting for her reaction with bated breath.

She turned back to Ava. “I knew that already, cariña.”

Ava blinked, and everyone stared at the little old lady in disbelief.

“What?!" cried Alfonso. "You knew?!”

She nodded her head.

“H-How…?” Ava stammered.

“I heard you two talking about it the other day,” she explained, glancing at Jasper then back at Ava. “You weren't exactly quiet about it.”

“We thought you were asleep…”

Her grandmother chuckled.

“Why didn't you say anything?” Ava asked.

“I didn't want to intervene, at least, not at that time,” she said. “So I decided to wait, and hear it from you when you were ready,

“You two are already going through so much,�� she continued. “I didn't want to put more pressure, unlike someone here…”

She turned to face her son, and Alfonso's face was even redder than before.

“Oh, so now I'm the bad guy?!” he cried. “They do what they shouldn’t, and I’m the bad guy?!”

“No one is calling you the ‘bad guy’,” she retaliated. “But this is not how you approach a situation like this, 

“And you more than anyone should know this,” she continued. “You were about the same age as Ava when she was born.”

“But that’s why, Mamá,” he explained. “I know how hard it is, and you know this too, you were there!”

“I know,” she confirmed. “And I also know how hard it was to raise you and your sisters alone, too.”

Alfonso paused, and silence fell in the room once more.

“Things were difficult when your father died,” she began. “I felt helpless...I didn’t know what to do, and I had no one to help me, or give advice...

“If I had the support back then,” she continued. “Like how I supported you, things would’ve been a lot easier.”

And she turned to Ava and Jasper once more, caressing her granddaughter’s cheek, and giving them a warm smile.

“And that’s what these two need right now, love and support.”

“Graçias, abuela.” said Ava, softly.

“Now I’m not condoning your actions,” her grandmother added, looking at the two. “Nowadays it is much easier to be aware of the consequences, and prevent them from happening, what you two did was foolish.”

Jasper and Ava lowered their heads, while Alfonso nodded confidently, but stopped once his mother faced him again.

“But what’s done is done,” she said. “We can’t go back and fix it, so we have to deal with what we’ve got, and we’ll be here to support you along the way.”

She smiled sweetly at Ava, who’s eyes were already swelling with tears, then turned to Jasper, who was looking up at her nervously.

“You just being here already shows how much you love her,” she said. “And how much you’re willing to be responsible about this--you’re doing more than any man out there.”

Jasper nodded, and she patted him on the shoulder.

“It is getting late,” she told Jasper. “You should head home, before your mamá starts to worry.”

Jasper looked at Ava for a moment, worried about leaving her, but once glance at Ava’s warm smile set him at ease.

“I’ll get going then.” he said, and kissed Ava goodbye, as well as giving a curt nod towards Benita and Alfonso.

As he left the apartment, Benita dried Ava’s tears and told her to help put her groceries away in the kitchen, to which she politely obeyed and left the living room. Alfonso then slowly approached his mother, while scratching the back of his head.

“Mamá, I’m sorry,” Alfonso whispered to his mother. “I just want what’s best for Ava.”

“Me too, hijo,” she said. “Which is why we must face this with a clear head.”

Alfonso nodded, and she gave him a kiss on the cheek. The two then made their way to the kitchen, and began helping Benita put away her groceries, still in silence - except for a few comments made here or there - but this time it was more comforting and warm, liking a loving hug.

#we get to see some of ava's family ayyyeeeee #ava torres #jasper salvador #otp: java #my fics #my ocs #pjo ocs #friends' ocs

[heatherjeff]

2020 Book List

It has been ages since I have written and, like everyone else, there seems to be a bit more unstructured time in my everyday life. It makes perfect sense the impetus for a return to blogging is books, reading is fundamental! 

My friend, KDaddy, annually shares the list of books he’s read. The first time I noticed his list I was thrilled, took notes, commented on how happy I was, and proceeded to read many of his recommendations. When it became clear 2020 was going to be a little different books became an even bigger part of my days as well as an escape from the grind of the news and the pandemic.

When KDaddy tagged me with his book list this year, it occurred to me I have a little platform where I can post my own year in review. Books are the best and reading has served me well my whole life, 2020 was no exception.

First, a few facts. This year I read 35 books, for comparison I read 24 in 2019. That makes me happy especially since there are not a million things about 2020 to invoke a sense of accomplishment. I have long kept a book journal since my title and author memory is similar to a sieve. At the start of the pandemic everyone in my house was gifted a kindle, I was not a fan of the plan, paper books are my love language. As this time has worn on, the kindle has proven to be a brilliant and magical purchase. Libby is a completely modern wonder and the next time I am in NYC I will, for sure, treat myself to a library card from that library system.

With no further ado let’s talk books.

Definitely Read:

The Nightingale: A Novel by Kristin Hannah

Two sisters reacted to the unfolding atrocities of WWII in very different ways. Both were fierce, suffered in ways unimaginable to most of us, and illustrated the many ways women are impacted by a war. Such a powerful read.

The Home for Unwanted Girls by Joanna Goodman

Great read based on a true story about a teenager who became pregnant. Her family forced her to give up her baby and it was placed in a mental institution for the sole reason the child was an “orphan”. Many more plot twists follow, this was a gem of a book.  

Women in Sunlight: A Novel by Frances Mayes

This book kicked off as total cliche and morphed into complete life goals. Three older women, all single for a variety of reasons, strike up a friendship and move to a Tuscan Villa. I want to be them someday in Italy living with the locals.

The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind by William Kamkwamba and Bryan Mealer

YA This came highly recommended from my youngest. It opened his eyes to the world in a huge way and he was very committed to sharing this story with all of us. William is a complete force of nature and against (truly) all odds changes the trajectory or his family, his village, and his life with ingenuity and desire. Love this book so much.

Little Fire’s Everywhere: A Novel by Celeste Ng

Heard so much about this book and completely loved it all. So. Many. Plot. Twists.

Dear Martin by Nic Stone

YA read from my kid, a MUST read. This book was chilling on a 1,000 different levels. Race, police profiling, education, culture- Nic Stone packed it all in and it opened my heart and sparked some good conversations in our home.

Girl, Woman, Other: A Novel by Bernardine Evaristo

This thoughtfully constructed book was a gift from another reader friend and is one of my favorite reads of the year. It shares multiple first person layered viewpoints from British women who span every part of society. Great read.

Dutch House by Ann Patchett

Let’s be clear, I love Ann Patchett. Love. Whenever she authors a new novel I am jazzed and the Dutch House is no exception. The house becomes an actual character in the story and has everything to do with the brokenness of family who moves into it.

Shoe Dog: A Memoir by the Creator of Nike by Phil Knight

Unpopular opinion, I am not a fan of Nike. I am a tremendous fan of Phil Knight’s innovation and hustle. Phil is a visionary and expert storyteller.

The Tatowist of Auschwitz: A Novel by Heather Morris

The novel is based on interviews with Lale Sokolov, a Slovakian Jew who used his position of relative privilege to positively impact the lives of as many fellow prisoners as possible. I had to read this book fast since it impacted my sleep, which it should. Incredible read.

American Dirt: A Novel by Jeanine Cummins

Ooofff, this book is hard to read. I started and stopped because I could not sleep and opted to read it during daylight hours only. It is seriously terrifying in a million ways. It is about a family who has to flee from Alcopulcio to the United States due to extreme violence from the local and very well connected drug cartel. This book is a testament to the grit of illegal immigrants and an eye opening read about the terror they face.

Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption by Bryan Stevenson

True story of Bryan Stevenson’s quest to navigate the criminal justice system in the rural south where he aims to help the most disadvantaged in the system. Timely, eye opening, and full of action items we all need to help with for the betterment of our society.

City of Girls: A Novel by Elizabeth Gilbert

Books by Elizabeth Gilbert are some of my favorites and I was concerned when I started this book, it was a struggle. It came together and I ended up loving it. A story about NYC in the 1940’s centered around a girl/woman who is sent to live with her aunt at her playhouse full of showgirls. It was such an unrelatable read, it transported me to a time I have never really considered and it was a trip worth taking.

Totally Enjoyable:

True Colors by Kristen Hannah

Reads like YA fiction and I loved it. It’s about a ranch family, their horses, land, siblings, their live father and deceased mother. It is not deep and is a fun read.

In a Dark, Dark Wood by Ruth Ware

This book was intense, fun, & slightly scary. A “hen party” in a, literal glass house, becomes the scene of a murder.

The Queen of Hearts by Kimmery Martin

This is a fun read about two best friends who become doctors together and then the plot thickens. Can’t say more, it is complicated.

Freud’s Mistress by Karen Mack

This was my last library loan before the pandemic. It is a fascinating read based loosely on the dynamics of Freud’s family, drugs, affairs that feel a bit like incest, a huge male ego, this should not sound familiar in any way!

The Sun is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon

YA, loaner from my kid (which came to my nightstand highly recommended). This is a sweet, sweet love story of two teenagers who have very different backgrounds and lots of big feelings. The whole book takes place over the course of one day.

It All Comes Back to You by Beth Duke

This was a surprise hit and it sucked me in. The story is about a nurse in a retirement community who befriends a resident who lived a big life.

The Queen’s Fortune: A Novel of Desiree, Napoleon, and the Dynasty That Outlasted the Empire by Allison Pataki

I admit, I am a fan of royalty, it is so intriguing and this book was completely spellbinding. The story is based on Napoleon's France and it was messy.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot

NF This book is amazing. A poor black woman has cancer cells removed from her body, these rapidly reproducing cells become known as HeLa cells and change the trajectory of modern medicine. There are so many consequences from this seemiling small discovery and the impact to the medical world and to Henrietta’s family are far reaching.

The Woman in the Window: A Novel by A.J. Finn

Read this in one day at the beach, I was sucked into this story of Anna Fox and her salacious neighborhood drama.

The Last Romantics by Tara Conklin

I know I liked this book and made a note about the “pause” taken over the summer when the kids in the family basically ran wild. That’s all I’ve got.

Untamed by Glennon Doyle

There was a ton of hype around this book and it is well deserved. Glennon tells it like it is and, like it or not, she has a lot of points that hit. I read this on my kindle and think I would have liked reading the physical book more.

This is the Story of a Happy Marriage by Ann Patchett

Short stories from Ann Patchett? Yes, 100% yes. The story of her relationship with Lucy, of Truth and Beauty: A Friendship, was wonderful as was the explanation of her book store in Nashville.

After You: A Novel (Me Before You Trilogy) by Jojo Moyes

I have zero idea that Me Before You was a trilogy! It is a total candy read, you are not going to learn much about your soul or the universe, but it is fun and better than TV. And yes, I will read the third book in the trilogy because candy is good! 

The Saturday Night Supper Club by Carla Laureano

Also a trilogy, another happy surprise. This book is fun, another candy read, and so appealing. When I was a kid I wanted to have a restaurant so this story made my heart happy. It is a bit too clean, a bit cliche, and an enjoyable read.

Daisy Jones & The Six: A Novel by Taylor Jenkins Reid

This novel will transport you to a land of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. I read this was loosely based on the story of Fleetwood Mac, true or false, this book captures a moment in history and reads a lot like a play and is completely enjoyable.

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

This is the book written before Little Fires Everywhere, similar deal-  family strife/mystery, kind of riveting with lots of twists. Solid read.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed by Lori Gottlieb

NF, look at a therapist who finds herself in need of therapy. It is kind of a russian doll type of read with layers, upon layers, hidden within each other.

With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo

YA, another loaner from my kid. Such a great book about a kid who wants to be a chef and express herself through her cooking. She is a teen mother living with her abuela, it is a heartwarming book and I love the main character’s spirit.

Sidenote: schools around here are closed for the duration yet students can reserve library books and go to the local library of your choice where their school librarians greet them, warmly, in the parking lot for a drive by pick-up. It is a wonderful and much appreciated service being offered to our kids.

Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty

This book is ridiculous, it had a strong start, went sideways but was fun and overall enjoyable. The premise is nine people descend upon an exclusive health retreat. The woman who is in change morphs from motivating to overlord, obviously.

No Thank You:

13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher

YA read, loaner from my daughter. I did not like this one bit, it made sucide seem so glam. Glad I read it and am always happy when my kids share books with me and I will always hate stories of kids’ suffering.

There There: A Novel by Tommy Orange

This book was hard to follow, had too many characters, and there was a very dark thread that I did not enjoy.

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

This book hit me at the wrong time this year. The dystopian nature felt a little too close to home. I know it is a work for the ages but it was all ouch.

Wow, that felt good to reflect on and process. I have never really looked for threads in my own reading and knew a few things already but like seeing the balance of candy books and hard, timely topics. All in all I feel great about my 2020 reading list and hope there are titles that interest or resonate with you too. Here is to libraries reopening someday in the near future so we can browse the shelves with abandon.

#bybye2020 #don't call it a comeback #maybe a comeback

[richincolor]

Life Within a Family

There are no new releases this week as most of us are getting ready for Thanksgiving and being with our families, I thought I'd focus on families in YA. The good, the bad, the ugly, all the craziness that comes with the word "family." I asked our contributors to share with me some of their fav books where the family is clearly involved in the MC's life and I'd say we came up with a good list.

Lucy & Linh by Alice Pung

Laurinda is an exclusive school for girls. At its hidden centre of power is The Cabinet, a triangle of girls who wield power over their classmates – and some of their teachers. Entering this world of wealth and secrets is Lucy Lam, a scholarship girl with sharp eyes and a shaky sense of self. As she watches The Cabinet in action, and is courted by them – as she learns about power and repression – Lucy finds herself in a battle for her identity and integrity.

With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo

With her daughter to care for and her abuela to help support, high school senior Emoni Santiago has to make the tough decisions, and do what must be done. The one place she can let her responsibilities go is in the kitchen, where she adds a little something magical to everything she cooks, turning her food into straight-up goodness. Still, she knows she doesn’t have enough time for her school’s new culinary arts class, doesn’t have the money for the class’s trip to Spain — and shouldn’t still be dreaming of someday working in a real kitchen. But even with all the rules she has for her life — and all the rules everyone expects her to play by — once Emoni starts cooking, her only real choice is to let her talent break free.

You Bring The Distant Near by Mitali Perkins

Five girls. Three generations. One great American love story. Ranee, worried that her children are losing their Indian culture; Sonia, wrapped up in a forbidden biracial love affair; Tara, seeking the limelight to hide her true self; Shanti, desperately trying to make peace in the family; Anna, fighting to preserve her Bengali identity.

Opposite of Always by Justin A. Reynolds

Jack Ellison King. King of Almost. He almost made valedictorian. He almost made varsity. He almost got the girl . . . When Jack and Kate meet at a party, bonding until sunrise over their mutual love of Froot Loops and their favorite flicks, Jack knows he’s falling—hard. Soon she’s meeting his best friends, Jillian and Franny, and Kate wins them over as easily as she did Jack. Jack’s curse of almost is finally over. But this love story is . . . complicated. It is an almost happily ever after. Because Kate dies. And their story should end there. Yet Kate’s death sends Jack back to the beginning, the moment they first meet, and Kate’s there again. Beautiful, radiant Kate. Healthy, happy, and charming as ever. Jack isn’t sure if he’s losing his mind. Still, if he has a chance to prevent Kate’s death, he’ll take it. Even if that means believing in time travel. However, Jack will learn that his actions are not without consequences. And when one choice turns deadly for someone else close to him, he has to figure out what he’s willing to do—and let go—to save the people he loves.

The Revolution of Birdie Randolph by Brandi Colbert

Dove "Birdie" Randolph works hard to be the perfect daughter and follow the path her parents have laid out for her: She quit playing her beloved soccer, she keeps her nose buried in textbooks, and she's on track to finish high school at the top of her class. But then Birdie falls hard for Booker, a sweet boy with a troubled past...whom she knows her parents will never approve of. When her estranged aunt Carlene returns to Chicago and moves into the family's apartment above their hair salon, Birdie notices the tension building at home. Carlene is sweet, friendly, and open-minded--she's also spent decades in and out of treatment facilities for addiction. As Birdie becomes closer to both Booker and Carlene, she yearns to spread her wings. But when long-buried secrets rise to the surface, everything she's known to be true is turned upside down.

Patron Saints of Nothing by Randy Ribay

A powerful coming-of-age story about grief, guilt, and the risks a Filipino-American teenager takes to uncover the truth about his cousin's murder. Jay Reguero plans to spend the last semester of his senior year playing video games before heading to the University of Michigan in the fall. But when he discovers that his Filipino cousin Jun was murdered as part of President Duterte's war on drugs, and no one in the family wants to talk about what happened, Jay travels to the Philippines to find out the real story. Hoping to uncover more about Jun and the events that led to his death, Jay is forced to reckon with the many sides of his cousin before he can face the whole horrible truth -- and the part he played in it.

#book lists #WeNeedDiverseBooks #ownvoices #families #thanksgiving

[cartoonfangirl1218]

Broken pieces

Note: Hi y’all. So here is yet another Eleteo angst fic concerning the events of Rise of the Sorceress. I wanted to do a small comfort fic concerning Elena finding a prized possession of her mother being broken by the witch who is currently trying to kill her. So yay!-ish. 

Elena jumped off her horse once she approached the palace and ran up the steps. Her friends had gone to put their horses in the stables but Elena couldn’t stop moving. She had to check the palace, she had to see who was safe. She had to do something!

Her mind screamed at her to go back. Shuriki was just going to cause more terror especially now that she had the scepter. 

She could attack one of the lower villages. Maybe she would circle back to the palace. Maybe if they chased after her... maybe they could find Shuriki’s hideout and ambush her? Maybe...

She should be doing anything but what she was doing now. Retreating to her palace like a scared little princess.

Before she had time to knock Armando flung the doors opened and Isabel ran to her hug her. Elena looked at her little sister for any signs of pain but it was obvious that apart from the look of utter grief and terror written across her face, she was alright.

“She’s really back, Elena, and she broke Mamí’s tiara.” Isabel sniffed into her torso.

“What?” A minute before her mind had been racing with all the possible consequences of Shuriki’s return, but now it she felt the weight of her tiredness. The beginnings of a migraine were pounding in her temples and she repeated, “Mamí’s tiara is broken?”

Somehow that sentence didn’t compute. She knew that the tiara must be broken since she had seen Shuriki with the crown jewel. The crown jewel as part of the glowing green scepter. The flash and the glow as she screeched “Llevequ” at her.

Elena instinctively flinched as the memory of the bright flash through her mind. She had felt its searing heat blaze past her head and for a moment, she knew the terror her parents had felt when Shuriki killed them.

A lump rose in her throat but she managed to push it down when her abuelos approached, their voices high with anxious worry against a threat only she could vanquish.

The rest of the afternoon was a blur to Elena. She understood everything that was going on, but she felt disconnected from it all. Esteban reportng what he had seen of the treasury. Isabel clutching her hand in a death-grip, reminiscent of when she was a 7 year old afraid of the shadow monster. Mateo and Naomi returning to tell the story of Shuriki’s return and Rita’s infiltration. Francisco announcing that they would have a Grand Council meeting the very next morning to plan what to do next about Shuriki. Gabe assigning guards for her protection. Abuela insisting that she should go to bed early. It was all a haze.

She managed to nod and speak at the appropriate times but all she could really feel was the heavy weight pressing against her chest, and the lump in her throat that constricted her breath. The migraine made the rest of her body feel heavy and unsteady when she walked to her room and once she approached the bathroom she threw up. 

It disgusted her. Not so much the contents of her lunch but the fact that she did it. Shuriki returns and this is what she was reduced to? Throwing up in fear of what the witch would do to her. Freezing at first sight of her evil self-satisfied smirk.

She was grateful that her friends had helped to save her. She would have been dead if Naomi hadn’t pushed her out of the way and Mateo hadn’t thrown her, her scepter. But as she glad as she was for them she still felt ashamed for needing them. She was going to be the queen of Avalor. She had to be the light of her people and to be able to help them with their every problem. She was the one who was supposed to face their enemies with an unflinching stare. Not freeze in cold fear.

Elena trembled against the cold tiles of her bathroom and clenched her fists in an effort to still her quaking body. Her breath was coming in short desperate pants and it took all of Elena’s willpower to remember that the best way was to reduce panic was to think of something calming. But when she closed her eyes, all she saw was the green flash.

Like a phantom pain, she felt the heat of the spell graze her face and her breath catch in her throat. With a strangled cry Elena jumped to her feet, nearly knocking over the shower curtain in her distress.

She managed to grip the sides of the bathroom mirror, and focused on her face, watching as her breath became slower and slower.

She blinked rapidly to try to clear her eyes of the tears that were threatening to fall and once again, saw the bright green flashes behind her eyelids. She would never be able to sleep this way. Not without thinking of Shuriki everytime she closed her eyes. How she wished that she had gone after her. Maybe if they had, they would have defeated her by now. She wouldn’t have to live with such anxiety.

She glanced at her mirror again. She didn’t look profoundly changed she knew from how she looked this morning till now but she felt changed. She felt older, a bit wiser almost. She had seen and done so much in this past year. And now Shuriki could change everything again.

Beyond the pale sheen on her face, she noticed her eyes seemed dimmer than this morning. It made sense, she was no longer excited about the Sunflower Festival as she had been before. But she felt a stab of sadness in her stomach. Her parents would be so sad if they were with her now.

When she had been a little girl and had gotten teary-eyed, her parents would immediately try to comfort her. Normal. But she had noticed that her parents would seem personally saddened too, especially as her mother said, “I don’t want to see the brightness go out of your eyes mija.”

Well the brightness was gone now.

“Oh Mamí” Elena lowered head .

“Shuriki broke Mamí’s tiara.” “Mamí’s tiara is broken?”

The words swirled in Elena’s head and a new course of action gripped her mind. She obviously wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. Maybe if she saw her mother’s tiara it would renew her anger against the witch and give her new ideas on how to stop her.

That sense of purpose made Elena’s feet lose their slowness and she paced quickly towards the treasury. Then she stopped. She had vaguely registered Armando’s words that he placed the tiara in a safe in the basement of the palace since the guards would need to recheck the security system of the treasury-maybe it was there instead.

It was unlikely anyone would see her. Rarely did anyone ever go to the basement or dungeons or lower levels of the castle. Plus it was almost dinnertime which was when everyone started settling down from the busyness of the day. With the events of today, she was the palace would be almost silent with a subdued atmosphere that Shuriki’s return brought.  

She cautiously approached the basement door and her knock easily swung the door wide open. The safe was inconspicuously in the corner among the shadows. The only sign that it had been recently used were the broken cobwebs.

With a hairpin in her ponytail, Elena easily opened the safe up and gazed upon the broken tiara.

It was in two pieces with cracks on the gold where small jewels formerly layed. The silver was scratched and jagged and it had lost its luster.

Tears unexpectedly filled her eyes when she saw it and the lump in her throat returned making her emit hoarse choking sounds.

It was broken. Completely and totally broken. Though it was split perfectly in the middle Elena knew it could never be fixed.

Elena gripped the two pieces in her hands and the sobs that she had been holding in from her brief panic in the bathroom came out fast and furious.

It felt like her mother had died all over again. She knew that maybe it was superficial to put so much sentiment into an object but this was her mother’s tiara!

Memories of her mother and her decorating the float for Carnaval, her mother standing tall and proud as she waved to the people of Avalor, her mother holding her hands as she taught her how to first do the Sunflower dance almost 47 years ago. Her mother hugging her and fencing with her and her singing. It was all gone forever.

Memories flew by in a jumbled rush but one that kept returning in vivid slow motion was her parents screams and the green flash that incinerated them.

“I’m so sorry Mamí” Elena hiccuped  between her tears, “I’m so sorry I failed you. I’m sorry I’m a failure.”

She failed protecting her parents when Shuriki first came, she failed when she hadn’t really killed Shuriki when she had the chance, some oversight allowed her to live. She failed to realize that Rita was a traitor. She failed to understand much less win over the dark prophecy. She failed. Now Shuriki broke her mother’s tiara and was going to kill her.

Her lungs heaved with sobs and air that fought to win over her tired body. Her hot tears streaked down her face and the overwhelming pain, sadness and hopelessness within that threatened to engulf her. Her mother was gone and with the tiara broken, it felt like Shuriki killed whatever spirit that was left in it.

She was a failure, she was going to die. Her parents would be so ashamed. How could she have let Carla get past her like that? How dare she stay here safe in the palace when Shuriki was out there planning her next move of destruc-

“Hello?” A voice called, the floorboards creaking under his feet.

Elena whipped her head around to recognize the royal wizard entering the room. Before she could wipe her tears away he caught a glimpse of her face. His face automatically softened as he sat down next to her and put his arms around her shaking shoulders. 

Elena uncharacteristically squirmed away from this touch, vainly trying to rub away the watery tears.

“Mateo why are you?”

“My workshop kinda has thin walls and I heard crying. Since it was coming from beneath me I came down here and..”

“I’m sorry.” Elena muttered hating how weak she sounded with the small whine at the end, trying to hold back her cries.

Elena wiped her eyes again and without the blurry vision she saw that Mateo was keeping his hands folded in his lap. Her chest twinged with guilt. He was trying to hug her to cheer her up and she pushed him away.

Elena sighed. She didn’t deserve his kindness. Not with how badly she was screwing everything up. If she had killed Shuriki the first time then he wouldn’t have been put in danger today. No one would have been put in danger.

“I’m sorry.” Elena repeated and looked up into his warm hazel eyes. As usual they were creased with worried edges on his brows but still an underlying softness that showed how much he cared. Elena always was amazed at this trait. He cared so much for everyone. The kingdom, the people, his friends, his mother. He was the true protector. He had been scared of Fiero but he pushed past that fear to defeat him. Unlike she with Shuriki.

“You don’t have to apologize.” Mateo patted her shoulder. “I should, I let Rita get in the palace..”

“So did I! How could I have done that? I’m supposed to be queen, I should be on alert. And I-No  I mean, I just.. I was crying. Not about that but I shouldn’t. I’ve-” Elena futility held the two pieces of the crown in her hands but she couldn’t get the words out.

She wanted to explain that she should be out in the kingdom to stop Shuriki. But she was stuck here and she saw her mother’s tiara. She was grateful that he was by her side in battle but that she shouldn’t have needed backup. She shouldn’t have froze. She shouldn’t be here, blubbering with sadness. If she couldn’t do anything useful why was she on the throne? She was going to lead them all to ruin.

But Mateo looked at her and as their eyes connected Elena felt some of the weight that was on her chest lift. That small connection felt more than comfort but like an understanding between them. She didn’t have to explain or justify how she was feeling, he just understood. No questions, just trust and comfort.

On one hand Elena felt that she should leave. She was the queen. This was her duty and her duty alone. She shouldn’t get him involved with her insecurities. She had to appear like a peerless rock or else the kingdom would be in fear. But on the other hand, she desperately wanted someone to confide her fears too. She had already done just that when she told him of Quito Moz’s prophecy, but this was more than a prophecy she hadn’t figured out. She felt as vulnerable as she did when she was stuck in the amulet. Being the only one against that witch.

If her parents were here they would be able to guide her but they were gone, and so was one of her mother’s prized possessions.

A glance at the jagged tiara sealed the decision for her. She flung her arms around him and buried her face in his woolen robe, letting all the tangled emotions come out muffled against his body and feeling the constant steady touch of Mateo’s arms wrapped around her. It was so familiar to when she was a little girl with her parents it almost made her cry harder. Something small that she would never feel again.

Elena didn’t know how long she stayed wrapped in Mateo’s arms but as her tears petered out and a yawn threatened to overtake her, she disentangled herself from Mateo.

Elena sniffed and was about to say “Thank you” when Mateo opened his mouth as if he would like to say something but finished with a tight lipped expression.

Was he scared now? Did he think she was behaving foolishly? She knew she shouldn’t have let anyone see her like this-

“I’m sorry about your mother’s tiara.” Mateo’s voice broke into her thoughts. She almost sighed in relief. How could she have doubted him for a second. He had said that he would be there for her no matter what.

“Me too.” Elena nodded. There wasn’t much to add to that. She reverently put the two pieces back in the safe, closed it and got up to her feet with Mateo.

Mateo gripped her shoulder and with a solemn face, “I know it seems like Shuriki got the upper hand right now. But I promise I will do everything in my power to stop her. I will do everything to help you. Me and the rest of Avalor is behind you, Elena. It’s okay that you haven’t defeated Shuriki yet because tomorrow you will. You are not a failure because there is still time for you to succeed.”

Elena gripped Mateo’s other hand with her own, the last weight in her chest falling away. Something about Mateo’s reminder that he was behind her, along with the rest of Avalor gave her some feeling of safety. They were behind her. They still had work to do, but she could overcome Shuriki and if she fell at least she could count on Mateo to be there for her.

“Thank you for that, Mateo. You’re absolutely right. We still have time. I’m going to search for Shuriki tomorrow, I will do something about her. Mark my words.”

Simultaneously, they gave each other a curt nod and Elena smiled for the first time since the attack. She no longer felt as helpless as before. She was going to do something and she knew Mateo would help her with any of her plans.

They left the basement together and went their separate ways. Elena to her room where she would not sleep but stay up pacing and practicing spells with her scepter. When Mateo entered his workshop, he took one more glance of Elena leaving the corridor. A confident step in her walk.  

When he had saw her crying over the tiara he had meant to apologize fully for his actions that led Rita to the treasury. How stupid and foolish could he be to believe Carla’s silver-tongue fake compliments? He was a wizard, shouldn’t he have recognize a shape shifting spell? How could he let her play him like that and endanger Elena?

He had meant to apologize but when he saw Elena’s palpable fear for Shuriki and her insecurities blinding her to her true strength he hadn’t been able to finish what he had meant to say. It wasn’t his turn to wallow in his flaws when Elena was carrying a burden and guilt far more greater than anyone else.

His heart broke just a little seeing Elena so fearful for her life and feeling that she was a failure. She was brave, compassionate, creative, talented, gorgeous...she was much more than the legends he had heard about her in his childhood. She was flawed to be sure but she was a literal shining light.

He hadn’t been able to apologize but he saw that that didn’t matter. Like she needed to do something to defeat Shuriki once and for all. So did he. He was going to make potions, learn new spells, he was going to take action, do everything in his power to right his wrongs. 

For Elena and for Avalor.

#eleteo #my fanfic #my fanfiction #elena castillo flores #mateo de alva #rise of the sorceress #angst comfort #princess elena #broken pieces #elena of avalor

[debaiir]

Deja Vu

“If you answer, they’ll come for you,” Argi heard the voice as he looked at the water bubbling through the ground. The water and the voice were so familiar, so clear yet strained through the filter of time.

“What?  What do you mean?” he asked, lowering himself slowly to look at the water.

Itzal had asked him to go check what they both thought was a broken pipe leading to the house.  The voice had the same strange musicality that had first drawn them together as they talked for the first time.

Argi looked at the clear, clean liquid coming from the dirt—it seemed as if it had been doing so for some time.  The water simmered out of a mixture of sandy, light brown and dark brown dirt.  Like the dirt that had surrounded his childhood home; the fertile earth at the edge of the coastal plains in Puerto Rico, where the sweet sugar cane grew so abundantly.  Argi kneeled to have a closer look, and he caught the fresh scent of a Spring drizzle and the comforting smell of lightly moist soil. Refracted light flashed from the crystalline bubbling water, momentarily blinding Argi.

Argi heard the voice again calling his name, they sounded like his Mami, but drowned by distance, it sounded so far.  He could hear Mami singing in the kitchen, making lunch before Papi got home for his lunch break.  It couldn’t be her, could it?  But if he didn’t answer, he would be in trouble.

“Argi…Argi…Argiii,” the voice again, like whispers, like the far away calls from Mami.

“I’m coming Ma’,” he shouted, but continued playing with his Star Wars figures.  Darth Vader was in a mortal duel with Luke and he couldn’t stop now.  He was having too much fun playing where the water was bubbling in front of the house.  The pipes were broken, letting the water bubble through the ground.  It made the perfect terrain for action and he liked the smell, it made him happy, the scent of rain.

“Argi,” the whisper, “Argi,” a little louder now, “Argi,” barked the voice, it sounded like Mami.  How could Mami be shouting and singing at the same time? It did sound like her.

“Ma…” he started to holler back

“If you answer, they’ll come for you,” the warning stopped him right in his tracks.  The voice came from between smiling lips; sweet like freshly cut sugar cane.

He looked and saw the smiling face of an old lady, surrounded by cascading, curly salt ‘n pepper hair, face full of wrinkles, but full of love, pale under a Caribbean Spring midday sun.  It looked almost as if light underlined the abuela and emanated from her and not the sun above.

“Who’ll come?  Who’ll come and get me?”

“You know who pequeño, they will.  Los Muertos, the dead.  Look from the corner of your eyes and you’ll see them.”

Argi looked, saw a shadow move, slowly first, and then with a swiftness that made him jump a little, startled by the speed.

“They’re the evil dead, mi’jo, los muertos malos.  They’re calling you, don’t listen and don’t answer.  If you answer they’ll come for you”

Argi caught movement from the corner of his eye, there were a lot more shadows moving in the periphery than what he had noticed before.  He turned to look directly at them, but they were too quick.  They hid, as if they were never there in the first place.

“If you answer they’ll come for you…” the voice trailed

“But how will I know who’s calling?  How can I tell…?”  He turned to ask, but the old lady was gone.

“Itzal, did you say something?  Who’ll come?  The plumber?” Argi heard himself ask.  He tried to stop, but it was too late.  He could see them from the corner of his eye, so many.  They were coming.

 Argi had no idea where to start; it took years, a lifetime to get to this point. Argi faced a life of existing for others, satisfying their vicarious need to live through him, self-hatred and denial. Argi touched the light scare hidden in his hair line and chuckled. “Nothing like facing your own mortality to realize how much time you have wasted and force you to reevaluate your life”, he thought.

A few weeks earlier, Argi had been walking down the sidewalk in a street in Rio Piedras, Puerto Rico, home of his Alma Mater while visiting some friends when the Humberto Vidal building exploded. Argi was launched into a school yard, hitting a fence and losing consciousness in the process. When he came to, it had grown dark and the emergency personnel were already on location. One of the EMTs was examining him. The EMT mouthed instructions to Argi but all he could hear was a high pitched sound ringing in his ears.  Argi felt moisture on his hairline, his head hurt and as he looked at his fingers, he saw the moist dirt mix with blood.  Through his bloodstained fingers, Argi saw another EMT rushing toward him, carrying one of those yellow plastic spine board evacuation stretchers he had only seen in disaster movies before—and then overwhelmed by the chaos all around him, his brain finally quit. 

Argi woke up on a stretcher in a dark hospital hallway.  His brain resented his sudden effort to sit up, blurring his vision and threatening his consciousness. As he tried to steady himself, his hand slipped from the edge of the stretcher but he was caught just in time by a clouded image clad in white.

“What do you think you are doing?” the figure asked.  “We still need to finish checking that head injury,” the figure said as it held Argi forcefully in place.

Argi concentrated on the figure and as he did so it came into focus. He found himself staring into emerald green eyes as deep as the Puerto Rico trench in the Atlantic and the outline of a striking olive skinned face. “Where… Am… I?” he muddled.

“You are in the Centro Medico acute clinic. We’re a little swamped right now with all the injured from the explosion but you seem to be doing better than most. We’ll get to you just lie down. Don’t try to get up again and let us do our job,” the nurse commanded. The nurse assisted him back to a prone positon.

Argi allowed himself to be slowly lowered down to the stretcher, and as he watched the nurse hurry away he asked, “What’s your name?”

“Itzal,” the nurse answered.

Now he stood at the doorstep of the restaurant and still hesitated. Argi pushed the door and walked in, scanning the busy interior. He found the table that had been specified as the place for their meeting and hurried towards it.

“You made it,” a voice from within the shadows at the other side of the table said.

“Jesus!” Argi yelped, “I didn’t see you there.”

“No? We’ve always been here,” Itzal said.

“We? Who’s ‘we’? Who was that I met at the hospital?” Argi replied while taking a seat.

“Y’know what I mean,” said Itzal.

“I’m sorry. Smartass here.” Argi pointed to himself. “It’s a bad habit.” Argi grinned.

“Is that one of your most charming qualities?” Itzal frowned.

“How did you guess?” countered Argi.

“I’m good like that.” Itzal shifted on his chair bringing stunning features out of the shadows, dark green eyes piercing Argi’s defenses.

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Argi asserted.

“Maybe,” Itzal smiled.

 It had been the best three months of Argi’s life, for at last he knew love, at least he believed this was how love should have felt before. The love they shared wasn’t like what Argi had experienced before, where his illusions, his innocence and naivety had been ripped apart and trampled. “like nothing before” Argi thought, every time they held each other under March’s full moon and quivered with intensity. They walked together under a spring evening shower, hands interwoven, shoulder to shoulder. Argi would quietly weep on those nights, letting the rain mask his tears of contentment. In their home their bodies would be entwined, their souls made one, returning the warmth lost on their wet evening strolls. Itzal worked nights in the medical center; they could only enjoy and lead a very nocturnal life. Argi adjusted-- love makes us do things without contemplating their consequences. The house was kept in perpetual umbra as Itzal mostly slept during the day. Argi would busy himself with chores until sundown, and it was during the execution of one of these chores that he was prompted to recall his childhood warnings.

 Argi rushed into their home leaving the door open, hoping for light to drive away the darkness. He rushed through the living room throwing every curtain open allowing sunshine to flood in. Argi yelled, “Itzal, where are you? They’re coming!” He continued speeding through the house, forcefully pulling blinds open, hoping for safety from the shadows. “Itzal!” he bellowed.

“I’m in here, Love,” Itzal replied, “in our bedroom.”

Argi dashed to the kitchen, drawing the sliding door blinds open, and as light drowned the adjacent kitchen and dining room he grabbed a knife, hurrying to the sound of his lover’s voice. He opened the door and threw himself into the penumbral dimness of their bedroom. “Didn’t you hear me calling?”

“Yes but I was sleeping, nightshift worker remember?” Itzal asked, “What is going on? Why do you have that knife?”

Trembling, Argi said, “I can’t explain, no time for that. But we have to get out of here. Now!”

The shout startled Itzal, “Sweetie, you are scaring me,” approaching Argi. Itzal grabbed his shaking hand. “Please, give me the knife before you hurt yourself.” Itzal grabbed the knife and placed it on the dresser. He guided Argi to the bed, both sat at the edge. “Now why don’t you explain to me what is going on?” he pleaded.

“It’s the dead… the shadows… the shadows of the dead. They’re coming to get me. When I was a kid… she told me… she told me not to answer, but I did. I did and they’re coming. It’s too dark in here we have to draw the curtains.” Argi tried to stand up.

Itzal held him in place, stood and slowly backed away, intense green eyes fixed on Argi. “We can’t do that, sweetie.”

“What are you doing Itzal? We need to let the light in and get out of here.” He launched across the bed and turned one of the lamps on. Itzal’s shadow was cast larger and murkier by the weak lamplight.

“I told you Argi. I told you when we met. We’ve always been here.” Itzal grinned, a smirk that grew beyond humanly possible.

Argi watched in horror as a morbid viscosity rippled throughout Itzal’s shadow. Argi’s face warped with abhorrent understanding. Other human shadows moved out of Itzal’s shadow, promptly encircling Argi. Ghastly black hands reached for him. Argi’s gruesome screams could be heard from inside the closed bedroom, but they were swiftly drowned out by the soggy sound of tearing flesh and loud snapping of human bones… and a cackling enjoyment of something from beyond the grave.

#short story