#abused child

[furiousgoldfish]

One of the issues you run into when you're not allowed to express anger as a child, is that you're no longer able to get angry. When you're in a situation that should evoke rage, you instead feel fear, anxiety, panic, or grief, emotional hurt and helplessness. You end up operating a body that cannot feel or express anger. The only times you do feel angry is when you're directing it at yourself, it comes as a form of self hatred, and desire to cause pain and injury to yourself. Because this is the only way you would have been allowed to be angry, only way it was safe, to direct it at yourself, same as everyone else is doing constantly, teaching you that it's normal and expected.

Growing up like this means that all of the anger from your childhood keeps getting stored into your body instead of externalized, and you still cannot get angry when the situation demands it. Instead, when you're being disrespected and injustice is served in your face, you can either feel helpless and lost, or the frustration you feel irritates you so much you cannot stand it. Your body is not used to feeling anger and doesn't know how to process it. Instead it feels like you're going to explode, restless, endlessly irritated and at a complete loss on how to handle it. Because you never learned how to handle anger, except to take it out on yourself, and you might be driven to just keep doing that, forever.

Taking a stand for yourself and confronting whoever deserved your anger might still feel terrifying and all of the insane things that happened to you as a result of childhood anger might get triggered. You might feel too frightened to confront them because you can imagine all sorts of ways it could come back to hurt you - this person could try to get you fired, for example. They might smear campaign you and get you evicted, they could threaten you with something or blackmail you, they could destroy something of yours, spread rumors, hold a grudge and do thousand times worse to you. Those are thoughts evoked by memories of childhood, where abusive parents threatened and did any or all of these things, including torture, in order to keep you from expressing anger.

However this person is hurting you right now, unprovoked, and getting no resistance. From that, they're learning that they can keep doing it, with zero consequences, because you've already been broken and cannot fight back. That is a dangerous situation to be in too, even if it is impossible to predict whether this person is insane like your parents and will try to get revenge for any bit of resistance for their abuse.

I had situations where I would be pushed over the edge and allowed my anger to come out at someone - and people would sometimes complain about it, but they would usually back off, and I would regain my peace of mind because I created a consequence for disturbing it. Anger, however, doesn't feel good. My body is not used to it so it makes me incredibly tense, stressed, frustrated and upset, and it doesn't go away for several days, even weeks sometimes. Because scratching the surface of it evokes the repressed childhood anger which is almost unbearable with how giant it is.

Human body can learn to process anger, it can feel better, more powerful and more in control because of it. It can protect you without inflicting damage to others. It doesn't make you anything like your abusers, who let their anger out at someone who wasn't their equal, had no way to fight back, and did not deserve any of it. Your anger creates boundaries that keep you safe, it doesn't exist to torture others for existing.

It's easy to fall back into the place where you don't want to be angry, and try to be accommodating and allowing of injustice, just so you don't have to feel frustrated and afraid. I often fall back on it too, just wanting to live and have peace. But life around other people often doesn't allow it, and sometimes anger is necessary to send a message of what boundaries will not be crossed without a consequence. Anger is not a bad feeling, it is an act of self love. It comes out to let you know that you've been treated unfairly and it's there because it's telling you that you matter. That treating you unfairly is something to get mad about.

#anger #rage #anger issues #cptsd #abused child #abuse symptoms #trauma symptoms #repressed anger #processing anger #anger builds boundaries #ptsd #traumatic anger #internalized anger #anger directed at self #not being allowed to bring angry creates self hatred #self love #abuse recovery #trauma recovery

[heartandflowerball]

I literally hate when someone physically hurt Isaac Lahey because, after all the abuse history he had with his father, this boy just should be given the biggest hug. But insted Derek proced to throw a glass at him. This is fucked up.

#isaac lahey #derek hale #teen wolf #abused child #physical abuse

[khabrikii]

so my father has this thing that any time i speak back or correct his wrong (for example i corrected him for body shaming my friend who is an underage) he go on days not talking to me properly, above that he aggregating things and tell others shit on me i literally never did and lie about me to others to make me look bad and say really really heart aching things to me until his ego satisfies

#toxic parents #toxic household #toxic family #toxic relationship #toxic father #narcissistic personality disorder #narcissisticgaslighting #gaslighting mention #guilt tripping #abusive parents #traumatic childhood #abused child #child abuse #mental abuse

[awritingarrow]

they should invent a parents that are kind to you

#child abuse #parental abuse #abused child #neg

[traumatizedlittlebean]

⚠️TW CHILD ABUSE and mention of sa⚠️

.

when i was little i used to live with my aunt, her boyfriend and my mom.

my aunt had some serious things going on, her and my mother were abused by my grandma since they were kids and she didn’t quite know how to control her emotions. she got mad pretty often and me being a relatively noisy kid didn’t help at all, so when she was mad she hit me, pretty hard with big rings on her fingers. she always said that i deserved nothing in the world while hitting me to tears, until i was begging her to stop, i was like 4 or 5 at the time. i remember one time when i ran to the bathroom after she punched me in the face, i couldn’t breathe. my mom came to the bathroom to hug me and i cried.

she eventually did therapy and got better, now she’s like a mental health professional (now she’s married to a guy who sa’d me since i was 9 but that’s another story). don’t get me wrong, i love my aunt and she did apologize, but i can’t stop thinking about four years old me crying and screaming for help on my favorite chair while she was beating me up. am i wrong for being slightly angry at her?

#trauma #abused child #triggering content #recovery #am i wrong #vent post #aunt #childhood trauma

[theghostofaname]

I saw my parents hearing the news

"Your youngest daughter drowned today"

I thought about what they might say

"Our daughter, Ginger?

No she, moved in with her sister

She's very happy there, or so we hear

She's always been so goddamned independent

The years go by and now we barely see her"

#36 questions #our word #bad parents #bad parenting #abusive parents #neglectful parents #parental trauma #parental neglect #child abuse #Childhood Trauma #Abused Child #ptsd #PTSD. #cptsd

[fnord888]

Child abuse is a big problem, so it's important that we don't let children communicate with adults except their parents and other official authority figures. Everyone knows the best way to prevent child abuse is to keep children isolated and ensure all their communications are controlled.

#massive sarcasm quotes #current events #vagueblogging #child abuse

[teaboot]

Adult ProTip, from a security professional: If a kid tells you, "My parents are gonna kill me / kick my ass / kick me out" for something relatively minor, don't respond with shit like "Really? ;) that sounds a little extreme, don't you think sweetie?" because that shit really does happen.

Instead, respond as though whatever threat they are afraid of is fully valid, and offer whatever you can do to help- ask if they believe they are in danger of being hurt in any way, and work accordingly.

If they're overreacting, they'll usually realize and dial it back, self-correct and begin thinking a bit more rationally.

If they're not overreacting, and the danger is real, then they'll need a level-headed adult in their corner, not another condescending authority figure who doesn't believe them.

#References to abuse #Child abuse #CA TW

[self-loving-vampire]

Extremely dangerous how "grooming" in the context of child sexual abuse went from being a very specific pattern of isolation and trust-building with the aim of abusing someone to "telling children anything that contradicts their parents' ultra-conservative worldview is grooming" to "selling rainbow flags in a store is grooming" to "literally anyone I don't like is a groomer".

These days the word seems to most often be used by people who don't care about what it actually means and just want an easy "this person is irredeemably evil, kill them now" button.

#conservatives accusing people they don't like of being child abusers is not new to be clear #I'm just talking about how they're making this term much less useful by damaging its definition #100 #1k #2k #3k #4k #5k #10k #15k #20k #25k #30k #40k

[furiousgoldfish]

which one of these did you believe was normal throughout your childhood:

Parents telling you that you're a financial burden to them

Parents insisting you need to work if you want to live in their house

Parents threatening to kick you out if you don't do as they say

Parents threatening death to you

Parents convincing you that you would die without them

Parents expecting you to know information you've never been taught or shown

Parents convincing you that you're unlovable

Parents telling you that any harm done to you is deserved

Parents not caring if you're sick/injured and shaming you for it

Parents expecting you to not have needs

Parents telling you that you're 'crazy' when you remember something traumatic they did to you

Parents acting like you're not a part of the family whenever is convenient

Being told to keep silent to 'keep the family together'

'What happens in my house stay in my house'

Parents inflicting physical abuse, marks and injuries on you

Parents having the right to do whatever they please to their kid

Parents insisting they must be automatically forgiven for everything

Parents telling you that you're the abusive one if you disobey

Parents throwing rage tantrums and screaming hateful atrocities at you in the 'heat of the moment' then later pretending thats normal and forgivable

Parents being allowed to act immature while children are not

Parents simply 'not noticing' when you have emotional/mental issues

Being suicidal and nobody caring or paying attention to it

Struggling with eating disorders/mental illnesses/disability and only being shamed and blamed for it

Parents insisting that their right to hurt you is above law and reason and that you are the only one who can be punished

Idea that 'everyone has it this hard' and 'you're the only one who is being this badly affected by otherwise normal treatment of children

Being told that it would only be worse for you somewhere else and you're lucky that you're only having 'only that amount of abuse'

Parents comparing their parenting to worse examples and wanting gratitude that they're 'not as bad'

Parents telling you that you'll never amount to anything and undermining everything you've done in life continually

Parents acting like your experience and perspective don't matter, or insisting you don't have the right to one in the first place.

(none of these are normal. this is brainwashing)

#child abuse #abusive parents #toxic parents #traumatic childhood #trauma recovery #healing from abuse #abused child #traumatized child #cptsd #ptsd

[lostmf]

#sadnees #tw depressing thoughts #depressing shit #i'm sad #depressing life #tw depressing stuff #quotes #childhood trauma #poetic #childhood #childhood ptsd #childhood truama #child abuse #tw selfhate #self h@rm #truamacore #kill my thoughts #kill my feelings #complex ptsd #how could you #just cptsd things #scribbles #are you proud of me #daddy issues #this is a cry for help #family #abandoned #ptsd #i hate my existence #wound tw

[intersectionalpraxis]

I documented multiple cases with @EuroMedHR of Israeli soldiers abducting blonde children from #Gaza claiming they might be abductee Israelis.

As Israeli forces are nearing my area of refuge, I just actually told my brother’s wife to dye her blonde daughter’s hair black! [@/MahaGaza on X.]

response to Maha Hussaini's report: "our families used ash to protect light-skinned children from being stolen by white settlers. In Palestine, they're dying children's hair to stop their children from being stolen. Removing children from an ethnic group to be raised by oppressors is one of the markers of genocide" [@/ 1KarenWyld on X.]

Journalist Maha Hussaini says that she has documented cases of Israeli soldiers kidnapping blonde children from Gaza claiming they might be abductee Israelis. (Illustrative photo) [@/ QudsNews on X. 01/07/24.]

I recently posted about this on my page. Thankfully a mutual of mine sent this to me. I addressed some of my perspectives about this horrifying and ongoing/developing story -which I will update here once I see Maha Hussaini or her fellow journalists sharing their documentations.

I just want to make sure that this is continues to be addressed/spoken about. This is beyond horrifying, and I hope those children are safely brought back to their families and loved ones -free from the IOF -because this is just insidious.

#feminist #feminism #social justice #free palestine #palestine #freepalastine🇵🇸 #free gaza #settler violence #settler colonialism #colonial violence #tw child abuse #current events #current news #children of gaza #israel is a terrorist state #end the occupation #war crimes #human rights

[serialunaliver]

I think one thing that's hard for people to grapple with is it's impossible to eliminate all abusive individuals from any given society. Of course certain systems encourage and make it easier to achieve, but there is no perfect world in which no one is abusive, so prevention of abuse shouldn't be punitive measures but rather creation of an environment in which abuse is hard to get away with--an environment more focused on community support than individualistic isolation of families. The fact that there are horrifying child torture cases that occurred in average suburban homes by neighbors who suspected nothing just because they haven't even talked to or acknowledged the people living right fucking next to them is crazy.

#child abuse #abuse #seriousposting

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!" #to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid'' #like..... gets me #yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai #and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that. #you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time. #dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem. #these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly. #they arent meant to be fun and exciting. #OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off. #but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X #dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was. #i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill. #the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT. #like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU #for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...