#abusive people

[selfhealingmoments]

#disrespect #self worth #self healing #self reflection #mental growth #mental strength #mental abuse #controlling people #emotional abuse #narcissistic personality disorder #narcissists #abusive people #let go #let them #let them go #let it go #letting go #moving forward #mov #inspirational quotes #inspiration #inspiring #love yourself #loving life #life lessons #toxic friends #toxic relationship #past self #past life #past friends

[hatefilledsuggestions]

Interesting to see those manipulative posts making rounds blaming people for their own low self esteem and claiming that their traumatic life filled with abuse and loneliness is their own fault, comparing it to having “main character syndrome”.

Just feels like op hates trauma victims and finds them annoying, and not wanting to feel guilty for feeling this way, has passed the blame onto the victims saying it’s their own fault they feel unloved and hurt. Real abuser type shit.

Anyway, if you feel unloved and hurt and lonely, you’re valid. If you have a low self esteem and feel like the world is crumbling around you, you’re valid. If your whole life has felt like a tragedy because of all the pain that’s been inflicted upon you, you’re valid.

It’s not your “ego” it’s not feeling “special” it’s genuine traumatic events sculpting your perception of yourself. We are only a reflection of what others have done to us. Our brain chemistry is literally fucked all to hell because of the massive amounts of trauma and abuse.

If people around you have made you feel unloved or unloveable through abuse and manipulation, that’s not your fault. If people around you have traumatized you and made you feel like the scum of the earth, it’s not your fault. And it’s ableist to insinuate otherwise.

We can’t just magically erase life long trauma that has literally influenced absolutely every aspect of our lives, and we shouldn’t be expected to do so just because some neurotypical fuck thinks we’re annoying for being justifiably upset and hurt.

#abusive relationship #actually traumatized #ptsd #toxic relationship #trauma #abusive people #actually cptsd #rsd #toxic friends #toxic friendship #bpd #cptsd #actually ptsd #abuse #mental illness #abuse victim #actually bpd #mental health

[etherealsign282]

Every abuser ever at some point: "you can't make me feel bad for my past"

See, I'm not trying to, I just don't like you because of what you did in the past and am expressing it. You're the only one who's still stuck on this concept that I give a fuck about your feelings, either to make ME feel bad for talking about it or because you DO feel bad (for yourself). But not because I give any indication that I'm putting any consideration into your emotions (and, with knowing how hollow and apathetic you are on the inside, I know that anything I say only fuels your victim complex and makes you feel bad for YOURSELF. If I was solely focusing on your emotions, I wouldn't give you fuel for your sick, delusional fire.)

I'm actually talking about the past because what you did was sickening and has altered my brain permanently and nothing to do with shaming you into feeling bad. Especially when I know you're incapable of feeling that way toward anybody you've wronged in a way that you can't awkwardly giggle/brush off after two seconds.

And if you see a survivor express things in their past and you automatically assume it's to make you feel bad, maybe it's because you know it should make you feel bad and your immediate defense is to accuse the other person of trying to upset you, to actually avoid that shame (go to therapy)

#emotional abuse #trauma #toxic #mental abuse #abuse survivor #child abuse #toxic relationship #abusive people #ptsd #cptsd

[shadowexcerpts]

Surviving Other People’s Shit: 10 Self Compassionate “I” Existence Affirmations to Get Out and Stay Out of Manipulative Control.

1 - I am free to personally like and dislike whoever it is that I choose, regardless of what other people think.

2 - I do not have to tolerate or accept repeated abusive behaviour in my life based on the abusers state of mind or personal well being.

3 - There are no rules when it comes to who I must, and who I must not allow in my personal space, except for my own.

4 - As an independent adult or young adult, I understand that what I do in my personal life, does not have to be based on what another person insists that I do, or else there will be consequences.

5 - I am allowed to say no.

6 - I am free to choose which invites to attend or not attend.

7 - I might have accepted a gift, but this does not bind me to the givers will.

8 - I can choose to have different beliefs and values than others, and still get along in the world.

9 - I am beautiful, no matter what they say (thank you xtina :))

10 - I am free to have whatever feelings that I have in any given moment, and pledge to manage these feelings in the safest, best possible way that supports the ultimate value of my existence.

Stay excellent :)

#self love #self care #affirmations #identity #self compassion #personal growth #psychology #abusive people #boundaries #empath #empathy #surviving #manipulation #brainwashing #control #controlling people

[ancient-healer]

#hell is other people #narcissistic ex #sociopath #abusive people #narcissistic people

[gallifreyriver]

I think it just hit me why I hate the phrase "Get a thicker skin!" even though I don't think it's ever actually been said to me personally.

It's because the people who say stuff like "Get a thicker skin" or "Don't have such thin skin!" to other people (meaning they think the other person is too sensitive or is overreacting to a situation or criticism) always seem to have the absolute thinnest skin and throw the biggest fits over the smallest of perceived slights.

They always seem to be the people who get so mad when movies/shows are rebooted and characters are changed to women and/or PoC

or the people who scream at waitstaff for making them wait an extra 5 minutes in a over-busy restaurant or for not seating them at closing time,

or the people who yell at cashiers who can't honor their expired coupons and then threaten to get them fired for it.

or the people who screamed/coughed on/spit on others because not only did they not want to wear a mask during a global pandemic, they didn't want anyone else to do so either

or the people who throw screaming fits and/or hit their children for "talking back"

I could go on, but the point is I don't think I've ever heard someone use that phrase toward someone else and then ever take their own advice.

They almost always seem to be the people who feel like they should be able to treat others however they like and say whatever they want and that person should just.. take it, but if it ever comes back on them then it's an unjust persecution and they get to react with as much crying, anger, or vitriol as they want.

It's the hypocrisy.

#hypocrisy #hypocrites #abusive people #thicker skin #sensitive #karens #boomers

[becky-s-updates]

Just for the record - it’s never the abuser that ends up with a shut down nervous system, chronic pain, mental health crisis, or in grief and trauma therapy to deal with the effects of their abuse and abandonment. Just take a very close look at all the people in their wake. Take a look at their partner, their children, their family. It is NEVER the abuser who reaches out for help. Abusive people destroy everyone in their circle - including their own children - all for the sick need for power and control. If you are ever wondering who the abuser actually is. Look closely.

#abusive people #narcisism #family systems therapy #recovery

[wildbasil]

things haven't been great but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷

#personal #comics #tw abuse #digital art #personal comic #for the record no i don't think my mother loves me #but the idea that she did kept me in an awful situation for a very long time #the number of times people said “she's your mother. she's trying her best. of course she loves you” etc etc #but i don't think “love” and abuse are mutually exclusive #like even if someone DOES love you it doesn't mean it's not abuse and it doesn't mean it's ok #art tag

[selfhealingmoments]

#manipulation #manipulative #controlling #mind control #disrespect #toxic friends #abusive people #narcissistic abuse #mental abuse #emotional abuse #let them #let it go #letting go #mental growth #mental health #mental strength #self reflection #self improvement #self help #new life #new beginnings #be yourself

[hatefilledsuggestions]

It’s not my fault you feel guilty.

You feel guilty because what you did was bad. Instead of trying to convince yourself that you’re in the right, try being a better person.

#abusive relationship #actually traumatized #ptsd #toxic relationship #trauma #abusive people #actually cptsd #rsd #toxic friends #toxic friendship #cptsd #actually ptsd #abuse #mental illness #abuse victim

[etherealsign282]

I wish it was legal to beat the shit out of someone who is emotionally, mentally, psychologically, verbally, and/or sexually abusive without them being able to cry victim and demonize you

Just the satisfaction of being able to kick their ass and having nobody to cry to, to be able to still feel smug about losing.

It's admirable when a physically abusive person gets put in their place but do it to someone who can only tear you down mentally and you're worse than them.

Well, I'm more than happy to be a bad person, because I'm not here to be what society deems as "good". To be positive. To "love everyone". I'm here for justice. I'm here to do right. I'm here to make my love count by fighting those that don't deserve it.

Make abusers and rapists afraid again.

#make abusers afraid #abusers deserve to die #abusers should die #abusers can die #abusers #abusive people #emotional abuse #mental illness #toxic #abuse survivor

[bananonbinary]

also worth noting that "abusive" doesn't actually mean "irredeemable" either.

there's a lot of people that have done things in the past that were bad, because they weren't taught any better, or they were in an overall toxic situation where EVERYONE was shitty (like a cult), or they were just at an especially low point and hurt others for it.

you don't have to forgive them. you don't have to ever speak to them again. you can be angry with them until you die if you want.

but society cannot function if we don't allow them to move on. to change their behavior and fuck off somewhere else and build meaningful relationships without bothering you again. we need a path for people to change, or nothing ever will.

#like re: the last post #npd SHOULDNT mean 'youre an abusive person' #but also people who have abused people in the past can still become better people in the present #you know? #and as i metioned vaguely in that post. the way we currently treat people with NPD probably CAUSES THEM to lash out at and abuse others #if u abuse someone they lash back out at you and suddenly theres fun mutual abuse happening #so they need a way out of that cycle

[self-loving-vampire]

Extremely dangerous how "grooming" in the context of child sexual abuse went from being a very specific pattern of isolation and trust-building with the aim of abusing someone to "telling children anything that contradicts their parents' ultra-conservative worldview is grooming" to "selling rainbow flags in a store is grooming" to "literally anyone I don't like is a groomer".

These days the word seems to most often be used by people who don't care about what it actually means and just want an easy "this person is irredeemably evil, kill them now" button.

#conservatives accusing people they don't like of being child abusers is not new to be clear #I'm just talking about how they're making this term much less useful by damaging its definition #100 #1k #2k #3k #4k #5k #10k #15k #20k #25k #30k #40k

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

#mental health #mental health support #positivity #if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them! #i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all.. #...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in... #...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air... #...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life... #...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with... #...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it... #...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it #i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive #unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better

[chittychittyyangyang]

Listen, you should never film strangers in public without their consent, but I swear there need to be fines or something for people who do that shit in some spaces. For example: I had to go to the ER last night, and some jerk filmed a woman who just came in and was clearly having an asthma attack. She immediately got to go back, and he was unhappy about that. Believe me, I get that it sucks having to wait when you're in pain, but you don't get to pick who deserves care when. The medical system in the US is a nightmare, and the ER could be the worst moment of someone's life. No one deserves to be recorded because some jack ass believes someone doesn't look like they need care.

This is fine to reblog. People who film strangers should be shamed if nothing else.

#ccyy talks #sorry for posting this here but I'm pissed and this shit really needs to stop #For all I know he recorded me too cause I'm young and look healthy but got to go back next #Sorry about your cough buddy but the way things work I was a more immediate emergency #1k #5k #10k #30k #this post clearly has a life of its own now #and in case someone wants to know some clarifications for common points #people in a position of authority/actively hurting someone with the intent to protect/help the person is fine #so cops doctors nurses mental health workers and educators (to name a few) who actively are abusing their power and authority? free game #this post was filming random ass people for Content(tm) #random ass people more so those in distress aren't your content and you do not know the harm you can do to someone by posting that shit #50k

[teaboot]

When I was a kid, I regularly lost reading privileges for "having an attitude" and "acting out".

It wasn't as simple as being told not to read during other activities- one of the first times it happened, I remember being six years old, watching my stepfather pull fistfuls of books off my bookshelf and throw them to the floor in a heaping mess while I cried and asked him to stop.

It was weird. Every other adult I knew described me as exceptionally well-behaved, but at home, it was the opposite, and it was blamed on "learning bad habits from that shit you're reading".

Because I couldn't read at home, I spent all my free time at school in the library, reading with my friends.

When I grew up and moved away, I realized that my family life was toxic and abusive, and the "attitudes" I was being punished for were standing up for myself, standing up for my younger siblings, and resisting actual, real-life psychological abuse. Because I'd learned from what I'd read that my family wasn't normal, not like my parents said it was, and in my stories, the heroes were the people who spoke out when it was hard to.

It is insane to me that there are students right now who can't access books. It is insane that books are being outlawed. It is perverse that we are stealing away an entire generation's ability to contextualize their lives, to learn about the world around them, to develop critical thinking skills and express themselves and feel connected to the world or escape from it, whatever and whenever and however they need.

That is not how you raise a compassionate, thoughtful, powerful society.

That's how you process cattle.

It's fucking disgusting.

#I know this is old news but Jesus #Every day I hear more about school book bans and I feels less real #Restriction of information is restriction of freedom #People need stories #Even bad stories #Even tragic or problematic ones #We need to set purity culture on fire I'm not kidding #Abuse mention #Abuse tw