#acceptance of myself

[charliebugz]

When Izzy first walked out I was worried that he would be made into a joke that the crew would laugh at

but then he started singing and the dancing began and I realized that he wasn’t meant to be a joke at all. This is the most open and happy we’ve ever seen Izzy and the show treated it that way. Not mocking him but instead celebrating this moment.

When we talk about queer representation it’s usually just focused on queer relationships, but what I love about this episode is it shows other sides of being queer. That moment where Izzy saw Wee John doing his makeup and had a realization that he wanted that too? That is what being queer means to me. The crew singing along and cheering for him? That is what being apart of the queer community means to me.

What i love about this show is that it shows queer joy, not in a sanitized way, but in away that is messy, beautiful, and without any mockery or shame.

#the fact i expected him to be made fun of just reflects how queer people are usually presented in media #i was preparing myself for an awkward scene full of secondhand embarrassment for izzy #but then it didn’t happen. And it just made me immediately feel so warm and fuzzy inside. #like he can express the not socially acceptable parts of himself and not be outcast for it #and that’s just so fantastical to me #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death spoilers #ofmd s2e6 #izzy hands #rambling #i speak!

[cemeterything]

the older and weirder i get the more i'm beginning to realize that i was actually a very cool kid who had no shame or fear until i was taught that i'd be punished for it and everything since then has been a slow uphill battle to get that part of myself back

#🐉 #like man i was so unbullyable until i let myself be bullyable #not blaming myself because i was a kid but fuck i shouldve listened to the girl who told me i needed to stop caring #about what other people thought about me and being so desperate for their attention #she meant it in a horrible way because her point was that i was inherently unlikable and should accept that #but she was technically right she just had the wrong intentions

[ace-and-ranty]

No, but the thing is, when I was reading Harrow the Ninth, I thought it was gonna be an Orpheus situation. I thought Harrow had fucked herself up as a means to an end, that she had a plan to bring Gideon back, that the lobotomizing and everything else was her way of getting into hell to get Gideon out.

It really made me feel some type of way when it finally dawned me that she never thought that far. I mean, you'd think it makes sense that, if GOD tells you something can't be done, you accept it can't be done, BUT IT'S HARROW WE ARE TALKING ABOUT. It is INSANE to me that she just accepted she couldn't undo Gideon's death.

The trauma of living in a death cult really got to this girl. She was so awash in it she couldn't even conceive of living a life with Gideon; a more acceptable death is as far as she could go. Absolutely insane. Harrow is not Orpheus because Harrow never tried climbing back up, she couldn't look back because she never got that far, she went into hell to sit there with Gideon forever, and it just didn't occur to climb back up the stairs.

#Harrows accept God's word only when it aligns with her death wish. #'Tomb can't be opened? Okay but what if I did and that finally gets me dead :)' #'Gideon can't be revived? Yeah okay that tracks guess I'll just have to ruin myself and my entire life' #sometimes I still have feelings for this series. #TLT #The Locked Tomb

[theoscarbryan]

Patience, discipline, and acceptance of myself enabled me to reach my ripeness.  Trpezlivosť, disciplína a prijatie seba samého mi umožnili dosiahnuť moju zrelosť.

Reflections (Reflexie)

#Quotes #oscar bryan's reflections #oscar bryan #reflections: ripe #oscar #bryan #reflections #ripe #patience #discipline #enabled #reach #ripeness #enabled me #my ripeness #acceptance of myself #patience discipline and acceptance of myself #enabled me to reach my ripeness

[tshortik]

I love you messy artstyle i love you visible brush strokes I love you textures and rough edges I love you imperfections I love you roughness and colour blobs I love you scratchy sketches and bold stylisation and dirt and imperfections I love you ugly and raw emotion!!!!! ❤️

#i talk sometimes #art talk #i made a tweet like this on twatter ages ago but i've been feeling this a lot lately #also this is the start of me writing more on this blog and not only using it as art because who cares!! i don't!! #I wanna translate raw emotion into colors and shapes. I wanna know where to ignore all details and where to go ham you feel me? #i used to dream about developing a style like for MtG where it looked like a masterful oil painting that oozes realism and details #and i've realised the last two years or so that I would actually hate that for me. I know I wouldn't enjoy doing it. For myself. #it's that pipeline from wanting to be the perfect realistic wotc artist to accepting that I will never be that #instead i wanna learn how to stylise better and get a good brush economy going yknow. I wanna be bolder. #i doubt i'll ever be as incredible as all these MtG artists no matter what anyone says. but it's ok!! i don't have to be!!! #i just luv art man!!

[firefangs]

i am on this earth for a reason, i must be, i am right where i need to be

#art #tiger #my art #traditional art #sketchbook #doodle #markers #tigers #orange #oranges #positivity #love #lovecore #more self acceptance + self indulgent art weeee #i draw art for myself now! how cool! it is so much more fulfilling #ignore the circle where i drew an orange in the wrong place and tried to go over it in white posca . #shhhhh .

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)

#poorly drawn mdzs #better drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art. #It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off. #Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways! #There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough' #only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize - #-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*) #And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans. #The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement. #I really can't describe how grateful I am. #Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out. #Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house. #But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants. #I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry. #Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.

[phyriaxi]

Can I request a Mostima corset to go with the Fia one?

Or a Spuria since she just came out and I saw you put up a previous Mostima recently

Also thank you for doing these requests! I love your work :D

perhaps i'll make this an illustration series~~ it's a lot of fun!!

[ thank you for the request! ]

#a bit simpler rendering than the fia one #but hopefully acceptable nonetheless :] #maybe i'll draw a spuria sometime too!! #my art #illustration #fanart #arknights #artists on tumblr #digital art #イラスト #mostima #アークナイツ #csp #rkgkillust #i'm feeling very inspired by the requests #since i'm drawing things i might not have thought of myself! #if i'm feeling up to it i'll come back to revise this and make it a bit more detailed ...

[adhbabey]

Let's talk about some lesser known symptoms of autism! Maybe this will help some of you get a broader perspective on what this can be like. There is a whole grab bag of symptoms of autism, but here are some ones you may not know that you have.

Focus on truth

What does this mean? Well glad you asked. This is the focus on facts and logic rather than anything else. People have shown this as autistic people may refusing to lie because it goes against what they find as true. But that's not always the case.

Have you ever used logic to try and figure out your emotions?

Are you someone who doesn't understand why others may speculate when the current knowledge is right there? (such as subtext versus canon knowledge or theoretical arguments)

Do you find it frustrating when others avoid their problems as a way to avoid figuring out negative things? (such as avoiding conflict in a friend group)

Is it easy for you to talk about your strengths and flaws? Do you know your likes, dislikes and limits pretty well?

High context communication

This is preference on details and the full context of any situation. Often going into great detail and backstory to anything.

Do you feel as though you need to overexplain to give the person everything they need to know?

Have you ever apologized to someone by explaining the deep and meaningful reasons of why you did it, before you said you were sorry? And maybe even felt upset or confused why they reacted badly?

Have you ever felt stressed out because you wanted to give others full detail but they either interrupted you or cut you off?

Are you stressed out by people who tell you what to do and not why they want you to do it?

Are you ever told that you talk back a lot?

Do you prefer recipes versus verbal/vague instructions? (All the things that you need such as ingredients, measurements, prep time, etc.)

Do you really like watching deep dives and knowing about the whole history of something you're even vaguely interested in?

Identity diffusion

This is not everyone's experience, and it is common in a variety of other disorders such as DID and BPD. However, it is when you do not know who you are in regards to others. This is also known as identity disturbance.

Have you ever felt like an outsider without knowing why?

Are you deeply interested on what other people think of you? Especially if it's all the time?

Do you really like taking personality tests and quizzes? Are you interested in horoscopes?

Do you feel like you don't fit in any one specific group? Either being a loner, or hopping in between many different groups?

Do you ever feel weirder than the "weird kids" group? Do you not really get along or feel like you belong with them?

Do you have low self esteem when it comes to comparing yourself to your friends? Do you feel like they're better or more capable than you?

Do you feel drastically unimportant and not as interesting or cool as everyone else?

Have you ever related to narratives surrounding a character that is the last of their kind?

Do you feel like your identity is a vast and gaping void, that even if you learn a little bit, that you'll never know everything?

Internalized repetition

This is one of those traits that not every autistic person experiences, but that some might. You could say that for all autistic traits, but hey, good to know regardless. Because of internalized repetition, you may not do many external stims, besides vocal.

Do you listen to a song over and over again? Perhaps having a playlist on repeat?

When stressed out, do you type the same word or phrase over and over again?

Do you like looking at the same things, such as the same color or the same artist's works?

Do you really like certain patterns, crystals or aesthetics?

Do you enjoy games with recognizable fighting patterns? (Such as character rotation, boss battle rotation, etc.)

Struggling to connect to others *

This is something that's been characterized by struggling to connect to others through their emotions, but the opposite is actually true for many autistic people. *I will be talking about those who struggle to connect to others who are emotionally distant or unavailable. Being emotionally distant or not showing emotions externally is a trait that many autistic people share, but for those without alexithymia, they may struggle to understand why anyone wouldn't like to talk about their emotions. I don't know the specific symptom term for this, so please bare with me. If anyone would like to inform me about what this is called, please tell me.

Do you struggle to talk with dry texters, or tend to over-examine people's tone through text?

Do you have anxious attachment?

Do you feel disconnected with many other autistic people and struggle to make friends or talk to them?

Do you feel embarrassment or shame with being emotionally sensitive?

Have you fallen down the rabbit hole of things like starseeds, star children or empaths?

Do you want to talk about serious emotions a lot, even when its not appropriate?

Do you trauma dump or wish people would become more emotionally intimate with you? Do you enjoy it when people share their deep traumas with you, even if it's triggering?

Are you constantly reassurance seeking?

There is plenty more symptoms out there, and these are just a few that stood out to me, because I think I may be autistic. I've always related somewhat, but never connected the dots. But there are reasons for that, such as identity diffusion and thinking I'm different from everyone else no matter what. I struggled because I didn't seem to have a lot of the outward and visible symptoms that were often talked about. I thought every autistic person had alexithymia, when that's just not true. My best friend, who has similar symptoms to me, along with another close friend of mine, have a similar presentation of autism. And it's taken quite a bit for me to accept or process. I feel like I'm faking my experiences just because I've self diagnosed before. And I'm angry that ADHD isn't given enough significance.

But I think I might be autistic, and this article that I based this post off of, confirmed it. So here's my post informing and coming out on that. You can be autistic and highly masking without actually knowing what's going on is masking. You can be autistic and have a spectrum of verbality, you can be autistic and struggle to connect to anyone who isn't immediately emotionally intimate with you. You can be autistic and not relate at all to other autistic people.

You're not alone.

#babey posts #actually autistic #audhd #autism #autism spectrum disorder #i know its a spectrum disorder but bro it doesn't feel like it #its broader than you might realize #you can be autistic and struggle to accept it #this has been the most frustrating and painful realization #i just. i feel a lot of negative feelings at myself about this #but i want to curate a place for people to exist without judgement #and before the anti self dx ppl come in here. this has never been the blog for you. #if youre like this. you belong here. #and if you just understand this. you also belong here. #you're not alone

[i-got-da-rubes]

“Thank you for asking what nobody else did.

What not even I considered.”

Drawn with my non-dominant hand.

#fucking gave up on the last frame but whatever #uh #dear the person I am addressing #you know who you are #love you platonically #but I’m not good at accepting your kindness or putting my thankfulness into words #so here we are!! #also sorry your hot pink #you seem like you like pink #and again thanks #for asking me if I’m okay #I hadn’t given myself time to ask that question #I appreciate you #okay soppy time over fuck you man #onto the other tags #disability month #happy disability pride month #disability pride month #disabilties #fibromyalgia #AMPS #ganglion cyst #tendonitis #damn I collect illnesses like trading cards #vent comic #but like in a positive way #art #digital art #comic #rubes art

[genderkoolaid]

i understand the motive behind statements like "real men wear pink!" and what they are trying to do but consider this: reifying the idea of real vs fake manhood sucks actually. we should not perpetuate the idea of manhood as a test of honour that you can fail & that failing is bad. thats patriarchy 101 babe

#gets myself a croptop that says ''fake men wear pink too'' #but yeah um. so much bad comes from the threat of emasculation #like when acceptance into proper manhood = survival then ppl are always motivated to do terrible shit out of fear #and people will always be attacked and hurt for failing

[cj-kenobi]

a wild otter-wan has appeared!

do you:

- fight! - give him a little pat!

#please accept this shitpost as art #i made myself laugh with this #hes just a little guy #ive been watching way too many nature docs recently #i was originally gonna draw human obiwan eating a raw sea urchin as well but i totally forgot when i was drawing #tbh he gives me the vibe of someone who doesnt need to be able to turn into an otter to eat a sea urchin raw #he'd just do it for the free food #i just realised ive been saying raw like urchin isnt usually eaten raw but what i mean is eating it right out of the shell #with no fork of anything for sticking his face in there #idk why im still talking about this haha #star wars #obi wan kenobi #star wars art #fanart #star wars fanart #art #otterwan kenobi #sea otter #my art <3 #my art

[stbot]

I've been thinking lately... maybe I should stop worrying so much about why I feel something and just feel it.

#grease rise of the pink ladies #grease rotpl #rise of the pink ladies #rotpl #cynthia zdunowski #grease spoilers #cynthia rotpl #shy guy rotpl #short king ‘wait does this mean i’m a thespian?’ cynthia #shy guy 'i'm jewish though?' edward #baby boy shy guy!!!! my son my child!! #queer solidarity love to see it! #i think i need a gif tag #not to prev tags myself but uh: #cynthia and shy guy are like Peak high school gays trying to date each other bc they can't accept they're gay but know the other is Safe #like i really didn't expect for this to be where his v obvious crush was going but i'm here for it! #love them love this #love to see cyn getting their shit together to apologize #cannot wait for next week!

[uncanny-tranny]

Good news! You aren't required to make your hobbies and passions "marketable." In fact, your crafts, hobbies, and passions don't even need to be public if you so choose. You don't have to spend all of your energy becoming perfect if you aren't enjoying the process. You are not a product, you are a person, a creative, and your work also does not need to be a product.

#positivity #yet another post that's like... thinnly-veiled as being for myself #i find myself freezing with anxiety when i think about the things i used to do (writing especially) because... #...i had felt this force to make it ~content~ and ~marketable to an audience~ and it was so fucking daunting... #...it felt like being a gladiator in a coliseum #even now i fight the urge to equate being marketable to being acceptable and worthy of admiration and praise #i wish i hadn't burnt myself out of writing by doing this because i'm simultaneously grieving my writing and hating it #and it sucks the life out of what makes you feel like a person and it takes the art out of art #so be free! pist your art or don't! you are beholden to nobody!!! #(obviously this is not the case for professional artists who rely on their art to keep them alive) #(and i criticize heavily the idea that audiences are entitled to an artists labour) #(i understand that this isn't universal and if it doesn't apply to you then you don't have to take me seriously) #(if you are a professional artist or what have you i hope you are able to feed and house yourself off of that career!) #(i hope you are able to live a happy life and be able to keep loving what you're doing)

[ssalballoon]

festering desire

even with both arms stretched out to the sky

they break off

#to be clear this is mystra (derogatory) #lyrics from dawn in the adan by ichiko aoba... impeccable melancholy #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #mystra #gale's desperation for intimacy and mystra's refusal to accept or reciprocate ⚰️ #idk much about mystra still... trying not to spoil myself on everything and failing #my art

[kindlythevoid]

I have read Fellowship of the Ring more times than I have cared to keep count and every time I read Boromir’s, well, possession for lack of a better word, I have read it in fear, in discomfort, in horror, indifferently.

This was, I think, the first time I read it in pity. I looked at all the plans Boromir was making, how he would save his beloved city, how obstinate he was in his belief that the men of Minas Tirith would not be corrupted when wielding the Ring against Sauron —and I felt sad. He’s waving his hands and hollering and part of him is desperate just for the Ring, of course he is, he’s been traveling beside it with no hope for months, but he’s also desperate for hope. He’s desperate for a chance to save his people, save his brother, save his city.

Moreover, every time he calls out the Elves or the Wizards, you have to remember that he doesn’t know them. All he knows is that he traveled almost a full year to get their advice and they send him on, in his eyes, a hopeless venture. The one hope they give him is Aragorn, who promises to return and help save Minas Tirith with him, but even that all changes once Gandalf dies. They come to Lothlorien and of course it’s a welcome break, but they cannot, or maybe in Boromir’s eyes will not, help his people. And once they leave, Aragorn assumes his role as leader of the Fellowship in Gandalf’s stead more permanently and suddenly even that one, brief, uncertain hope of his is gone. Aragorn will follow Frodo. And it’s almost certain that Frodo will not go to Minas Tirith.

So is it any wonder, really, that tired, desperate, hopeless Boromir, out of his realm, out of his depth, already hanging by a thread when he joins the Fellowship and having been gnawed on by the Ring for months upon months afterwards, finally snaps once it’s clear that he will have to return home empty-handed and almost certain that somewhere far away Sauron is capturing the Ring and killing the companions that he had bonded with? Of course part of the Ring is making him lust for power, but it’s also his only “reliable” (in his mind) source of hope left to save his city.

And so I read Boromir’s (intelligent and thought out, mind you) raving and I don’t feel scared for Frodo, not after reading it so many times and knowing what ultimately happens, but sorrow for Boromir.

#hey yeah sorry if I keep repeating myself in this #I can just never seem to find the right words to properly express what I want to say #So I ramble on until I think I’ve thoroughly covered it #So sorry about that #but also friendly reminder that Boromir is an intelligent military leader #Whose fatal flaw was deeply loving his city a bit too much #And an inability to accept hope after so long being denied it #I’ll probably make a separate post after I read his death on his relationship with hope and how Aragorn “Estel” Ranger factors into that #but for rn it’s sad Boromir hours :/ #the lord of the rings #kiki re-re-re-reads the lord of the rings #just yelling into the void #boromir #the fellowship of the ring #minas tirith #aragorn #gandalf #frodo baggins #elves #the ring