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#accio hogwarts bullshit
Gryffindor: My moral alignment is chaotic lawful.
Slytherin: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Ravenclaw: They have a strict moral code but no one can figure out what the fuck it is.
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quantumbi · 8 months ago
Ravenclaws are the most chaotic neutral house
I'm 99% sure at some point a ravenclaw prefect just went to Dumbledore and went like "honestly it would be great for both us and the staff if you just stopped bothered trying to keep us out of the restricted section of the library"
And Dumbledore being Dumbledore would literally be like "Yeah go ahead" cuz he KNOWS none of them have the patience to actually achieve world domination (the best way is to do so by keeping everyone powerful in your pocket instead of an elitist mutiny voldemort) I mean honestly he could've achieved it by being Tom riddle but he just had so much self loathing and since he's the dark lord he's just way to superior to actually learn from history
But anyway, everyone would totally just read so much from the restricted sections and mix and match information and end up creating potions and spells (because what if we did this?)
And they would accidentally create something genius but low-key has the power to destroy the world and Dumbledore totally knows about it but as long as the ministry doesn't know its fine
But McGonagall would be horrified but even she would know that they would probably just create something else again so they just let them be
So basically it's just a hogwarts secret that the ravenclaw common room (and low key the room of requirement) is filled with potentially extremely dangerous things but no one bothers because they're just going to make something else and they keep tweaking it because what if?
And if this isn't the most ravenclaw headcanon ever i-
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thelazywitchsblog · 2 years ago
My Precious...
-Ravenclaw, to her books.
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Hufflepuff: “Beware of the dog”, they say. Of course I will be aware of the dog. I love dogs. I am aware of all dogs.
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accio-hogwarts-bullshit · 21 hours ago
Ravenclaw: If you drank 42 cups of coffee in a sitting, it would kill you.
Slytherin: So the limit is 41.
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Ravenclaw: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.
Gryffindor, Slytherin & Hufflepuff: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!
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Slytherin: I need to dye my hair.
Ravenclaw: ...
Slytherin: Or get another tattoo.
Ravenclaw: ...
Slytherin: Or a new piercing.
Ravenclaw: Why?
Slytherin: To, you know, appease the mental breakdown gods.
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accio-hogwarts-bullshit · 2 months ago
Ravenclaw: This is a mistake.
Hufflepuff, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day!
Ravenclaw: But not today.
Hufflepuff, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess.
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Gryffindor: How did you break your leg?
Ravenclaw: Do you see those porch stairs?
Gryffindor: Yes.
Ravenclaw: I didn't.
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Ravenclaw: Would you slap Gryffindor-
Slytherin: Yes.
Ravenclaw: I didn't even finish!
Slytherin: Sorry, continue.
Ravenclaw: Would you slap Gryffindor for 10 dollars?
Slytherin: I would do it for free.
Ravenclaw: Rude...
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Ravenclaw: Someone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in our apartment?
Hufflepuff: They're golden retrievers, dude. They retrieve gold. I did this for us.
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Hufflepuff: They… well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff?
Ravenlaw: Um, murder??
Gryffindor: Adventuring!
Slytherin: Tuesday.
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Slytherin: What's going on?
Ravenclaw: Gryffindor wouldn't drink water.
Slytheirn: ...And?
Ravenclaw: And I asked them how fast they could chug an entire bottle.
Gryffindor, loudly: 16 OUNCES IN TEN SECONDS, BITCHES!
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Hufflepuff: Gryffindor and Slytherin are screaming and shouting outside, don’t you think you should do something?
Ravenclaw: You're right, I should.
Ravenclaw: *closes the window*
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Ravenclaw: The odds of this happening by coincidence are vanishingly small.
Slytherin: I would say infinitesimally.
Gryffindor: And I'd say teenily-weenily. We all know words.
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accio-hogwarts-bullshit · 3 months ago
Hufflepuff: *rings door bell*
Slytherin, from inside: I HAVE A GUN!
Hufflepuff: No, Slytherin, it's Hufflepuff.
Slytherin, opening the door: *cheerfully* Hello Hufflepuff!
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Hufflepuff: Shh, here comes Gryffindor!
Slytherin: Quick, Ravenclaw, start talking about boring nerd stuff!
Ravenclaw: You know, nerd culture is mainstream now, so when you use the word “nerd” derogatorily, it means you’re the one that’s out of the zeitgeist.
Slytherin: Yes, that’s perfect. Just like that.
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Hufflepuff: We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city.
Ravenclaw: Well, that was entirely predictable.
Hufflepuff: One of them punched a gang member.
Ravenclaw: Gryffindor?
Hufflepuff: Slytherin, actually.
Ravenclaw: Oh, that was going to be my second guess.
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Gryffindor: Hello all, it is I, your favorite person.
Slytherin: Actually, Hufflepuff is my favourite.
Gryffindor: Okay then, it is I, that bitch.
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