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footylover254 · 4 months

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Recommended Football Betting Tips for December 19, 2023

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#100 percent winning tips #100 Sure Football Predictions #100% FREE Betting Tips & Prediction For Today Games #1x2 Betting Tips #Best 10 Home Teams to Win Today - Most Winning Teams #Best FREE football predictions for WEEKEND from experts #Best Prediction Site for Better #Betting Tips Daily - Accurate Betting #Betting tips today #Football Betting Tips (FREE) Today&039;s #FREE Betting Tips & Best Sports Predictions for Toda #Free Football Betting Tips & preview with Odds and Predictions #Free Predictions & Betting Tips

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mycryptosuite · 10 months

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Play This Safe 2 Odds Today 25/06/2023

Play This Safe 2 Odds Today 25/06/2023 Play This Safe 2 Odds Today – We provide daily simulated reality league predictions ranging from; full-time Correct Score tip – Our sure 3 odds daily tips are so accurate you’ll wonder if the matches are fixed. Track Odds Bet Tips for today and you can aswell have a look at our free expert Football betting tips from professional tipsters around the world &…

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evansbby · 1 year

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IMAGINE poyt steve teaching omega how to play a video game and shes sitting on his lap and every few seconds shes like rubs her tush on steve’s peen and once steve noticed she already came

Okay but why is the idea of Steve teaching omega how to play video games so wholesome??? Like ugh!! Just imagine Steve in one of his good moods, deciding that today is the day he teaches his girl how to play one of his favourite games😌

Warnings: dirty talk, daddy kink, grinding, stripping, allusion to future smut, 18+ only, MINORS DNI

A/N: short drabble! Although I don’t know how accurate this is to Steve’s character — I feel like I can only imagine him playing football related video games. But oh well, this was too cute and I had to write something down!

***

“And you click this button to reload, and this one to shoot? Got it, omega?”

Steve might as well be speaking gibberish as far as you’re concerned, because not one word of his ten minute demonstration on how to play this video game has gotten through to you.

“I’m sorry, Steve, I don’t understand.” You say timidly, hoping he won’t get angry at you or call you stupid. You clear your throat and add, “I don’t really like shooting games. I th-think they’re barbaric and inappropriate.”

Steve snorts, his arm wrapped around your waist and securing you tightly on his lap while he manoeuvres the controller with his other hand. “Of course you think that, you’re just a little baby omega after all.”

You sigh, but there’s a part of you that’s curious about this whole situation. Steve’s never invited you to play video games with him before — the most you’ve done is sat on his lap while he played with his friends — which was objectifying enough except it made Steve feel really smug.

But today is different — he’s actually allowing you to play and you wonder what the catch is.

“Okay, now customise your character.” Steve orders you.

Your eyes widen, “Can’t I just play as your character?” (His character is called “AlphaKing4” and looks quite intimidating, in your humble opinion).

Steve doesn’t let you play as his character because apparently you’ll “ruin his ranking.” Instead, he helps you create your own: decking your avatar out in a pink bikini which does nothing to hide any of the digital cleavage.

“My character doesn’t have any armour on, Steve.” You point out shyly — because you’re no expert on this game but “AlphaKing4” seems to be decked out in heavy armour from head to toe, making your own character look very vulnerable and naked in comparison.

“Omegas don’t wear armour.” Is the response you get, before he grabs your hips and repositions you on his lap, so that your bum is right on top of his crotch and your back is against his abs. Casually, he thrusts upwards, his hardness poking against your ass deliciously and making you gulp.

“Go on, baby. Start playing.” He whispers almost beguilingly into your ear as he hands you the controller.

Predictably, you lose almost immediately. It only takes a few seconds for the enemies to completely decimate your character, and you pout in annoyance.

“I lost.” You say sadly, barely noticing Steve’s fingers deftly unbuttoning your blouse. “H-Hey! What’re you doing?”

“Shhh, baby, try again.”

You do. And, of course, you lose again. No matter how hard you concentrate (which you can’t because Steve’s hands are rubbing up and down your sides and he keeps popping more of your buttons open).

You yelp when the final button is opened, and he begins to push your blouse down, all while sponging wet kisses on your bare neck.

“Steve, ah!”

He chuckles meanly, “Oh, didn’t I mention? There’s a penalty — each time you lose, you strip off an item of clothing. And you’ve lost twice now.” He peels your blouse off and throws it aside, leaving your top half in just your bra, “So what’s next, skirt or bra? You can decide.”

You gape at him and shake your head pleadingly, “N-No! Steve, no! Not here!”

“Well, it’s not my fault your little baby brain couldn’t grasp the concept of a video game.” Steve smirks, fingers now playing with your bra strap and making your heart thud at the thought of Sam or Bucky walking in — you’re in the living room after all!

“Please stop!” You wiggle in his arms but his grip is like iron, pushing your bra strap down.

“Rules are rules, omega. Unless you prefer the other penalty.” His hands now slip down to your skirt, unzipping it and pushing it down and you can’t believe how quickly he’s gone from teaching you how to play a video game to forcibly stripping you while you cower in his arms.

“O-Other penalty?”

“Mmhm. You. Over my knee. Every time you lose, you get ten smacks with the paddle.” Steve licks his lips, “bare ass.”

You gape at him because this hardly seems fair at all! And the paddle scares you to death because Steve is always threatening to use it on you (he never gets a chance to because you’re usually always good and behave yourself for him).

“N-No! No paddle, please no paddle!”

“Then you better strip, baby.”

You sniffle, pushing your bra strap back up and opting to take your skirt off instead. At least Steve’s heavy arm across around waist would somewhat shield you — for now. But you have a strong feeling that the rest of this gaming session isn’t going to go in your favour.

“That’s my good little omega,” Steve kisses your cheek condescendingly before squeezing your bare thighs, “See? Playtime with daddy can be fun, can’t it?”

THE END! What do you think?

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #dark steve rogers #chris evans x reader #anon #poyt ask #poyt drabble

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cricketnationrise · 11 days

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some sentence sunday 24.4

is this thing still on?

i have a lull at work which means i have time AND brain space for actual words to get written! so pls enjoy this extra bit from my big bang fic that i'm sooooo close to finishing and really excited about. thanks everyone for the tags today and the last month, you're all below the cut bc there are so many people that have tagged me its overwhelming (affectionate).

Nora assumes that there is actual football being played based on the level of noise around her, but she’s fully focused on June and the rest of the cheerleaders for the first half of the game. The part of her brain that’s always on wonders if there’s an equation that could predict what routine June or the cheer coach will call the squad to do next. She knows there are some routines for defense and some for offense, three options for when the team scores, some more general pep and tumbling ones, and a specific routine they use whenever the marching band plays the fight song, plus a halftime routine. There’s bound to be some way to track the statistics of each and build a predictive model that’s relatively accurate, but Nora would need more data, like a lot more. She’d also need, unfortunately, a much more in-depth knowledge of football, which she absolutely refuses to engage in. So while the math likely checks out, Nora isn’t going to be the one to do it. Alex keeps her from dying of boredom for the rest of the game, happy to snark with her about the other team (she’s not dumb enough to talk shit about her own team while smack dab in the middle of the bleachers), make up fake names for all the fancy football plays, and generally treat the marching band like their own personal karaoke machine, belting out the lyrics of everything from Carry On My Wayward Son and All I Do Is Win to Seven Nation Army and Tequila and every song in between. She even gets into the spirit of the whole thing enough to dance like a maniac when the drumline goes ape-shit at the end of the third quarter. She catches the pleased disbelief on June’s face when they make eye contact over fancy flying drumsticks and tumbling cheerleaders and tries not to blush in response. In fact, Nora’s almost won over to the idea of sporting events in general and football in the specific for the atmosphere alone by the time the game ends. So it’s even more fucking annoying when Evan goes and ruins it.

sincerely, thank you for the tags while i've been drowning in sets and stage effects and scenery strikes and six day/ten hour weeks for the last month i saw them and appreciated! it was a delight seeing all your wip wednesdays and sentence sundays and last lines - definitely helped keep me sane!

@kiwiana-writes @celeritas2997 @cha-melodius @rockyroadkylers @inexplicablymine

@hgejfmw-hgejhsf @cactusdragon517 @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @magicandarchery @leaves-of-laurelin

@itsmaybitheway @indestructibleheart @tailsbeth-writes @porcelainmortal @anincompletelist

@firenati0n @three-drink-amy @adreamareads @wordsofhoneydew @14carrotghoul

@sherryvalli @ships-to-sail @xthelastknownsurvivorx @affectionatelyrs @rmd-writes

@suseagull04 @iboatedhere @onthewaytosomewhere @getmehighonmagic @heysweetheart-writes

@happiness-of-the-pursuit @tintagel-or-cockleshells

and tagging: @sparklepocalypse @dumbpeachjuice @missanniewhimsy @the-lincyclopedia @montrealmadison

@cheesecurdsgravyandfries @everwitch-magiks @anchoredarchangel @smc-27 @clottedcreamfudge

@orchidscript

plus an open tag if anyone needs/want the excuse to post as well

-💜🦗

#cricket writes #some sentence sunday #rwrb #a royally big bang #junora #pov nora holleran #can we tell i used to be in marching band?#plus my brother was on the drumline #so i've got OPINIONS

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support1212 · 8 days

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Accurate football prediction,

Football, often regarded as the beautiful game, captivates millions worldwide with its unpredictability and excitement. From the nail-biting moments of last-minute goals to the underdog triumphs, the sport keeps fans on the edge of their seats. But for some, the thrill goes beyond mere fandom; it extends into the realm of predicting match outcomes. Accurate football prediction has become a pursuit blending passion with precision, where data, analytics, and expertise converge to unlock the secrets behind the game.

Understanding the Landscape: In the digital age, the landscape of football prediction has undergone a profound transformation. Gone are the days of relying solely on gut feelings or intuition. Today, predictive models harness vast amounts of data ranging from player statistics and team performance to historical trends and even environmental factors. This data-driven approach has revolutionized the accuracy of football predictions, empowering analysts and enthusiasts alike to make informed forecasts.

The Role of Data and Analytics: At the heart of accurate football prediction lies data and analytics. Advanced statistical models leverage player metrics such as goals scored, assists, passing accuracy, and defensive actions to assess individual performance. Team analytics delve deeper into collective strategies, possession statistics, shot conversion rates, and defensive solidity, providing a comprehensive view of a team's strengths and weaknesses.

Moreover, machine learning algorithms sift through mountains of historical data to identify patterns and trends, uncovering insights that may elude human observers. By analyzing past matchups, playing styles, and situational dynamics, these algorithms can generate probabilistic forecasts with remarkable accuracy, guiding bettors, fantasy league players, and even professional clubs in their decision-making processes.

The Human Element: While data and analytics form the bedrock of accurate predictions, the human element remains indispensable. Experienced analysts bring contextual understanding, tactical insights, and intuition to the table, enhancing the predictive capabilities of algorithms. Their domain expertise allows them to interpret data nuances, factor in intangible variables such as team morale or managerial changes, and adjust models accordingly, ensuring a holistic approach to football prediction.

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kinganalytic · 11 days

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Ai Football Prediction | Kinganalytic.com

Experience the thrill of accurate AI football predictions with Kinganalytic.com. Trust our advanced algorithms and make smarter betting decisions today!

ai football prediction

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chocolatedetectivehottub · 1 month

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Quality football prediction,

In the dynamic world of football, prediction has become an integral part of the fan experience. Whether it's casual conversations among friends or high-stakes betting, accurately forecasting match outcomes adds an extra layer of excitement to the beautiful game. However, not all predictions are created equal. Quality football prediction involves a blend of data analysis, tactical understanding, and intuition. Let's delve into the art of quality football prediction and explore what sets it apart.

Data Analysis:

Quality football prediction starts with comprehensive data analysis. Gone are the days when gut feelings alone could suffice. Today, sophisticated algorithms and statistical models crunch vast amounts of data to uncover patterns and trends. Factors such as team form, player performance, head-to-head records, home advantage, and even weather conditions are meticulously examined. Advanced analytics offer insights that go beyond surface-level observations, empowering predictors to make informed decisions based on evidence rather than conjecture.

Tactical Understanding:

Understanding the nuances of the game is crucial for accurate prediction. Tactical analysis plays a pivotal role in assessing how teams are likely to approach a match. Factors such as playing style, formation, defensive solidity, and attacking prowess all contribute to the overall dynamics of a game. A deep understanding of these tactical aspects enables predictors to anticipate how teams will interact on the field and adjust their strategies accordingly. Moreover, insights into managerial tactics and player psychology provide valuable context for predicting outcomes with precision.

Contextual Factors:

In football, context is key. Quality prediction goes beyond mere statistical analysis to consider contextual factors that can influence outcomes. These may include injuries, suspensions, team morale, fixture congestion, or even off-field distractions. By accounting for these variables, predictors can refine their forecasts and adapt to changing circumstances. Flexibility and adaptability are essential traits for anyone seeking to excel in the realm of football prediction.

Risk Management:

Even the most well-informed predictions carry an element of uncertainty. Quality football prediction involves prudent risk management to minimize potential losses. This may entail diversifying predictions across multiple matches, incorporating betting strategies such as hedging or value betting, or setting strict limits on wagering amounts. By exercising caution and discipline, predictors can navigate the unpredictable nature of football with confidence and composure.

Continuous Learning:

The landscape of football is ever-evolving, and quality predictors recognize the importance of continuous learning. Staying abreast of the latest developments, tactical trends, and statistical innovations is essential for maintaining a competitive edge. Engaging with fellow enthusiasts, participating in online forums, and exploring new analytical tools are just some of the ways to expand one's knowledge base. By embracing a mindset of lifelong learning, predictors can refine their skills and stay ahead of the curve in the dynamic world of football prediction.

In conclusion, quality football prediction is a multifaceted endeavor that combines data analysis, tactical understanding, contextual awareness, risk management, and continuous learning. It is both an art and a science, requiring a blend of expertise, intuition, and discipline. By mastering these elements, predictors can unlock success and elevate their predictions to new heights. So, whether you're a seasoned analyst or an enthusiastic fan, remember that quality prediction is not just about guessing—it's about understanding, strategizing, and staying one step ahead of the game.

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frank254love · 2 months

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Dive into Today’s Accurate Football Predictions with PesaOdds! 🏆⚽️

Hey sports enthusiasts and bettors! Ever wondered what gives PesaOdds the edge in football betting predictions? It's their unbeatable mix of statistical analysis, seasoned expertise, and passion for the game.

From player form to team dynamics and beyond, PesaOdds leaves no stone unturned, ensuring each prediction is solid, data-backed, and ready to guide you to victory.

Ready to up your betting game with insights that turn uncertainty into opportunity? Check out the full scoop on why PesaOdds is your go-to for today’s football predictions. Let's win big together! 🎉👟

#premier league #sports betting #betting tips #football #news

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typhu88la · 3 months

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Mastering Running Odds: Strategies and Tips from Typhu88

Summary of Running Odds

Running odds, officially known as Running Ball in English, is a highly favored form of sports betting. Participants predict the timing of goals based on the match dynamics. Accurate predictions result in valuable prize money, determined by the provided odds.

Despite the potential for high rewards, Running Odds unfold rapidly. Hence, it's crucial to closely monitor on-field situations to strategically engage in Running Ball bets.

Exciting Aspects of Running Odds in Football

Running Odds, a captivating aspect of football sports betting, offers various impressive playing styles with high chances of success. Below are some popular forms of Running Ball bets offered by renowned football betting platforms:

Running Ball HT (Half Time)

Takes place during the first half of the match.

Attractive odds are provided for participants.

Successful bets during the first 45 minutes result in rewarding prizes.

Running Ball FT (Full Time)

Takes place throughout the official playing time of 90 minutes.

Participants win if goals occur during the chosen betting period.

Running Ball Odd 300

Offers numerous opportunities for participants.

Expert advice emphasizes close monitoring of detailed betting boards to accurately predict the odds.

Expert Strategies for Consistent Running Ball Wins

After gaining a comprehensive understanding of Running Odds, participants can improve their chances of winning by adopting the following strategies:

Comprehensive Match Analysis

Select an enticing match for betting.

Analyze and evaluate crucial match-related information, including team clashes, head-to-head records, expected line-ups, and more.

Appropriately Place Running Ball Bets

Choose suitable bets based on handicap levels.

Lower handicap matches tend to have fewer goals in the first half, while larger handicaps offer opportunities for early bets.

Bet During Golden Moments

Bet early if the match is dynamic and attacking-oriented.

The last 10 minutes of each half often witness increased goal-scoring opportunities.

If the first half ends in a draw, consider betting between the 45th and 60th minute of the second half.

By decoding Running Odds, we have explored one of the most renowned and impressive football betting forms today. It is hoped that readers have gained additional insights into accurate Running Ball predictions through this article. Stay tuned to Typhu88 for more updates in the Sports section!

#Typhu88 #Typhu88la #nhacaityphu88

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footylover254 · 7 months

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Recommended Football Betting Tips and Odds for September 22, 2023

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#Best Betting tips Kenya #Betting Predictions Today and Tonight #Betting Tips Daily - Accurate Betting #Football Betting Tips #Football Betting Tips (FREE) Today #Football Home Team To Win Predictions #Football Predictions #Football Predictions & Betting Tips Kenya #football predictions today #Free Football Betting Predictions #Free Predictions & Betting Tips #Today&039;s Best Football Betting Tips & Predictions

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mycryptosuite · 10 months

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Play This Free 3 Odds For Today 23/06/2023

Play This Free 3 Odds For Today 23/06/2023 Play This Free 3 Odds – We provide daily simulated reality league predictions ranging from; full-time Correct Score tip – Our sure 3 odds daily tips are so accurate you’ll wonder if the matches are fixed. Track Odds Bet Tips for today and you can aswell have a look at our free expert Football betting tips from professional tipsters around the world &…

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betensured · 3 months

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Football Predictions Today

Betensured offers football predictions today for fans looking for reliable predictions for selecting their bets. Here you will find reliable predictions made using facts and accurate information. Experts make these predictions to help fans find the best bets and make profit. You will get a full analysis on the bet and why it was made. The analysis will help you make informed decision when choosing bets. Visit the website and get started with your bets now.

#today football prediction #football predictions today #soccer predictions today #bet predictions

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sports-bet101 · 4 months

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Advanced Analysis: The Accuracy of College Football Computer Picks

College football captures the hearts and minds of fans across the nation, making it a prime focus for sports betting enthusiasts. In recent years, the emergence of sophisticated computer algorithms has revolutionized college football betting odds, sports betting predictions, and CFB AI betting strategies. This article delves into the accuracy of these computer picks and how they are changing the landscape of sports betting.

Introduction to College Football Computer Picks

With the integration of advanced technology in sports betting, AI and machine learning algorithms have become pivotal in predicting game outcomes. These computer picks analyze a myriad of factors - from player statistics to weather conditions - to provide bettors with informed predictions. As sports betting continues to grow, understanding the accuracy of these computer-generated picks is essential for anyone involved in college football betting.

The Evolution of Sports Betting Predictions

The shift from traditional betting methods to data-driven strategies marks a significant evolution in sports betting. Historically, bettors relied on expert opinions or their intuition. Today, CFB AI betting strategies involve complex algorithms that process vast datasets, offering a more analytical approach to predicting game outcomes.

How Computer Picks Work

Computer picks in college football are generated through models that use historical data, player performance metrics, team statistics, and other relevant factors. These models are continually updated with new data, enhancing their predictive capabilities over time.

Assessing the Accuracy of Computer Picks

To gauge the accuracy of college football computer picks, it's crucial to look at their track record over multiple seasons. While no prediction method is foolproof, AI algorithms have shown a higher consistency in accuracy compared to traditional methods.

Key Factors Influencing College Football Betting Odds

Several factors play a critical role in determining college football betting odds. These include team performance history, player injuries, weather conditions, and even psychological factors like team morale. Computer algorithms consider all these aspects, offering a more comprehensive analysis than conventional methods.

The Role of AI in Enhancing Betting Strategies

AI's role in sports betting isn't limited to predictions. It also helps in developing sophisticated betting strategies by identifying patterns and anomalies that might not be evident to the human eye.

Sports Betting Predictions: Beyond the Numbers

While AI provides a statistical analysis, understanding the context behind the numbers is crucial. Bettors who combine AI predictions with their knowledge of the game often see better results.

Implementing CFB AI Betting Strategies

For bettors looking to leverage AI in their betting strategies, several key steps should be followed:

Choose Reliable Computer Pick Services: Opt for services with a proven track record in college football.

Understand the Limitations: No AI system is infallible. Understanding its limitations is key to making informed bets.

Stay Updated with College Football Trends: Keeping abreast of the latest trends and changes in college football can complement AI predictions.

Manage Your Bankroll: Implementing a sound financial strategy is as important as choosing the right picks.

The Future of College Football Betting

As AI technology continues to evolve, its impact on college football betting will likely grow. We can expect more accurate predictions, innovative betting strategies, and an overall more informed betting landscape.

Balancing AI and Human Insight

The most successful bettors will likely be those who find the right balance between AI-driven predictions and human insight. Understanding the nuances of the game remains a crucial aspect of successful betting.

Conclusion

The world of college football betting is witnessing a paradigm shift with the advent of AI and machine learning. While the accuracy of computer picks has significantly improved, combining these tools with human judgment and a strategic approach to betting remains essential.

For those looking to enhance their betting strategy, exploring AI-based picks is a step in the right direction. Remember to research, understand the limitations of these tools, and complement them with your insights for a well-rounded approach to college football betting.

Explore this comprehensive guide on CFB AI betting strategies for more in-depth information and tips. For the latest college football betting odds and predictions, come visit our site.

Remember, responsible betting is crucial – always bet within your means and enjoy the game.

The landscape of college football betting is ever-changing. Stay informed, adapt your strategies, and embrace the power of AI to stay ahead in the game of sports betting.

#NBA betting #NFL betting #college basketball betting

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support1212 · 8 days

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Accurate football prediction,

Football, often regarded as the beautiful game, captivates millions worldwide with its unpredictability and excitement. From the nail-biting moments of last-minute goals to the underdog triumphs, the sport keeps fans on the edge of their seats. But for some, the thrill goes beyond mere fandom; it extends into the realm of predicting match outcomes. Accurate football prediction has become a pursuit blending passion with precision, where data, analytics, and expertise converge to unlock the secrets behind the game.

Understanding the Landscape: In the digital age, the landscape of football prediction has undergone a profound transformation. Gone are the days of relying solely on gut feelings or intuition. Today, predictive models harness vast amounts of data ranging from player statistics and team performance to historical trends and even environmental factors. This data-driven approach has revolutionized the accuracy of football predictions, empowering analysts and enthusiasts alike to make informed forecasts.

The Role of Data and Analytics: At the heart of accurate football prediction lies data and analytics. Advanced statistical models leverage player metrics such as goals scored, assists, passing accuracy, and defensive actions to assess individual performance. Team analytics delve deeper into collective strategies, possession statistics, shot conversion rates, and defensive solidity, providing a comprehensive view of a team's strengths and weaknesses.

Moreover, machine learning algorithms sift through mountains of historical data to identify patterns and trends, uncovering insights that may elude human observers. By analyzing past matchups, playing styles, and situational dynamics, these algorithms can generate probabilistic forecasts with remarkable accuracy, guiding bettors, fantasy league players, and even professional clubs in their decision-making processes.

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kinganalytic · 4 months

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Best Football Betting Tips Today | Kinganalytic.com

Get the best football betting tips today with Kinganalytic.com - the only place to find reliable, accurate predictions and advice to help you win big on the pitch.

best football betting tips today

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innsyn · 5 months

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Unfreeze 3

A third pass at unfreezing. One thousand words, without hesitation, editing or self-judgment. We can do this.

Our soundtrack tonight is the Massive Attack album, Heligoland. It’s a great album with loads of excellent guest vocals. I was particularly enjoying the track with Guy Garvey from Elbow. I like Elbow a lot - The Seldom Seen Kid is a top album. But there’s something about his vocals over Massive Attack beats that works even better for me. It’s a bit like Ben Wassisname, the singer of Deathcab for Cutie, on his side project with Dntel, The Postal Service.

I bought myself the new Football Manager game for my birthday. Officially it was from the kids, but they got told that after the fact.

I’ve started a new save file as Bath, down in the lowest playable league of England, the National League South (the sixth tier). They’re predicted to finish comfortably mid-table in eleventh. We’re about ten games in and I’ve currently got them top, banging in goals by the hatful. C’mon the Romans! I have no affiliation with Bath. I’ve been there - it’s a lovely little city - but I picked them because they’ve never been higher than the National League (tier five) and I liked their badge. Last time I got the game, a couple of years ago, I played as Slough Town in the same division and took them to winning the Champions League. It was fun, so I thought I’d do the same again.

Today has mostly been a good pain day. I had my arthritis meds injection a few days ago, so we’re at peak functionality. I say mostly pain free because my little finger has been driving me mad all day. I picked at my nail on that finger and accidentally tore off too large a strip, hurting the flesh inside the tip. And I’ve been typing at work all day and it’s been stinging like a wicked splinter. You know that when something like that is your biggest complaint it’s been a pretty good day.

I’ve been trying to source a tradesman to remove asbestos ceiling panels from my garage, so I can start a garage conversion project. I’ve had one dodgy geezer take a glance and quote me eighteen-hundred if it’s cash-in-hand. More if he has to write me an invoice. Second company have assessed type of asbestos by getting me to send pics, and now want me to send measurements to quote the job. They seem a lot more decent. Third company want me to pay £160 to do a sample analysis to determine the exact type of asbestos, then quote on measurements. When we first started the garage conversion scheme we had no idea the panels were asbestos - it was only when the electrician said he couldn’t put spotlights in it that we had any idea. Not a cost we’d planned for. Just one of those curveballs you have to deal with.

My big two kids are away at Disneyland with my ex, so we’ve only got the little one in the house. #Shenanigans-O’clock

I need a haircut.

Theremin therapy. Hairy feet halogen. Escher liege etching. Ineffable fallacy. Frantic tak catechisms. Schism span pangolin. Paradigm dime dharma. Pharma llama kama. Sticklebrick quickener. Slick quiescent effigy. Coddle-code copperpot. Assign aligned and primed. Inexcusable inevitability. Avoidable voyages splinter irrevocably. Scissor-kick sparkle arc. Clenched fist salute.

The bird burst from the undergrowth in a splash of loose leaves. A fast moving ball of puffed brown feathers, screeching, zig-zagging yonder, and then gone, plucked off the turf by a dreagle. My dreagle. I’d been flying drone-eagles for six years, and it was my first appearance at the National Invitational. That was my eighth grab of the afternoon, putting me third in the table, the highest ranked unsigned competitor. I couldn’t have dreamed it would go so well.

An easel stood to one side of his chamber. He gestured to it, mute and wide-eyed. I moved to examine it closer. The paint was still wet. The painting was a still-life of an empty fruit bowl. It was remarkably detailed and accurate. I was surprised; I hadn’t known he could paint. On the table in front of the easel lay the fruit bowl, but the real bowl wasn’t empty, it was overflowing with fruit. Oranges, bananas, kiwis and pears. “Why,” I asked, “did you only paint the bowl, sir?” “I didn’t,” he said. “I painted the fruit too. But then I ate the fruit from the painting.” He threw handful after handful of fruit peels in my direction. It flew everywhere, but I withstood the barrage stoically. “Have you been smoking your hashish tonight, sir?” “Yes!” He admitted enthusiastically. “That’s where I got the idea to paint. I’ve not painted anything since I was a child. But I had this urge, and once I got the brush in my hand it just flowed from my fingertips. It was magical!” “It’s certainly an excellent piece, sir. But you say that you ate the fruit from the painting. I must believe that’s the hashish speaking, sir, and if that’s the case I must also confess that I am just a smidgeon concerned for your mental alignment at this moment.” “You don’t believe me? After all we’ve been through? I should feel betrayed to my core, if it weren’t for the fact that your skepticism is perfectly justified. This is a nonsensical situation. I should’ve left a pear for you. But they were all so delicious.” An idea struck him, and he abruptly started stuttering towards me. “The bowl itself shall have to suffice.” Heading not for me, but the easel, I stepped carefully to one side. The floor, I’d noticed, was splattered with paint. With a casual attitude, he thrust his arm into the painting up to the elbow. His hand never made contact with the thin layer of pigment applied to the canvas, it merged into the image of the painting. I could see his arm inside the picture of the painting. He grabbed the bowl and yanked it back. It was too big and banged onto the edges of the canvas in that mirror world. He twisted it diagonally and maneuvered it through. I stood agog as he handed it over triumphantly. The smirk on his face was positively uncouth. It seemed, once out of the painting, to be an exact replica of the bowl on the table. His arm, I noticed, was covered in paint, but the painting wasn’t smudged or smeared; it was a beautifully realised depiction of an empty table. “I get the feeling, sir,” I said, after a regrettably long pause to gather my thoughts, “that our life is about to get a wee bit more interesting.”

I’ve actually shot over my thousand word target, but I wanted to finish that little scene. Hugs to all!

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