#acotar x reader
Fantasy book: So these two characters are basically mates/soulmates, and the male would do literally anything for the female, he’s super tough and intense but he becomes jello for his lady and would do anything for her, he loves her so much, there’s a lot of cute pet names involved....
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Umm hi I don’t know if you still take ACOTAR requests anymore but if you do can I request an azriel x reader where he’s in love with her and is afraid of rejection but he doesn’t know that she loves him too? 👉🏻👈🏻
hi nonnie, i’ll always accept an acotar request, hehe! did this in headcanon form, hope you don’t mind <3 it’s quite long and a little rough around the edges, but i hope you like it! ps. tumblr mucked up the formatting, some dot points don’t want to be indented. i hope it still makes sense x
when your and azriel’s paths crossed, it was the mother at work again. after mor, azriel didn’t think he’d ever have the strength for love again. the aching and the pining had taken their toll, and the appeal of the mating bond had faded. to feel it all again, to risk his heart like that again - he couldn’t. and yet, the mother saw fit that he would.
he first met you in the palace of hoof and leaf, and it didn’t mean anything at the time; a stranger’s kindness, or if he indulged his cynicism, a hawker’s ploy. you were a commoner, a milkmaid who came to sell your products in the markets. he’d been at the neighbouring stall, waiting for the clerk to put together the only tea brew in prythian that could placate his migraines.
“sir, mr. shadowsinger, sir,” you called, “could i offer you a sample of my goat’s milk? maggie-may is very special, her milk can be just as good as a healer’s work, i swear it. try it, try it, sir.”
azriel looked you over, glad that cassian wasn’t here to make that particular moniker stick. one brow raised in dubiety, he nodded and held out his hand - might as well, he thought, tired and getting ever more desperate for his tea. this didn’t show outwardly, of course; azriel’s face was as neutral as ever, his shadows coiling about his talons. your gaze was expectant as he tried the sample, and while it was a little too earthy for his taste, he nodded all the same. perhaps it had encouraged you too much, because then you asked: “could i perhaps persuade you to buy a pint?”
azriel had no interest at all, yet he couldn’t help but notice the detail: your fraying sleeves, the imperfect glass bottles, the beginnings of dark circles under your eyes. and yet you were smiling, you were sweet, being very generous for someone who had to presumably make a living selling fresh products. not for the first time, azriel made a purchase that only someone of the inner circle could afford, and one that didn’t really benefit him. “i’ll take several,” he said, looking at the handful of wooden caddies, mostly still filled with milk bottles. “i’ll take it all.”
the clerk then handed azriel his brew while you stood there, wide-eyed and speechless, working through a range of emotions. at first you thought he was mocking you, but when he turned around again, fiddling with his coin pouch, you realised he was serious. “but, sir— maggie-may’s milk sure is delicious, but only in moderation— i couldn’t expect someone to buy it all—”
“as much as you’d let me, then,” he amended, being mindful not to impose or patronise. you bit your lip, trying to tally up the ultimate price, trying to gauge whether this man could even afford it. two gold, you said, trying your luck. azriel merely fingered his coins, placing the expected two and an additional three on the counter. he must’ve noticed your shock; you had frozen, after all, perhaps even stopped breathing. “since maggie-may is so special,” he drawled, earning a disbelieving laugh from you.
that night, cerridwen, nuala, and elain were very confused at the sight of bottles and bottles of milk laying in wait on the kitchen counter in the house of wind. the note - clearly by azriel’s neat hand - read: use within five days.
from then on, you always engaged azriel when you spotted him in the market. you could never forget his generous first purchase, and so while he waited for the tea master to finalise his special brew, you would entertain him with an endless supply of free samples of new products. over the years, azriel saw your business extend from milk to also include cheese and soap. he learned unnecessary things about your cattle, such as the supposed social dynamics and - mother forbid - adultery that mr. sweet pea the goat seemed prone to. over time, azriel grew comfortable enough to share some of his stories and observations, the things he’s seen in other courts. it took a while to realise you had become more than his mere acquaintance, and perhaps it was because you were outside his usual spheres of the inner circle and his spy network. to have someone outside was new, and a little jarring at times. the different experiences, the contrasting perspectives - it was refreshing, and reminded azriel how far he’d come since his miserable youth. when he was with you, the stakes weren’t so high, the conditions not so dire. you were a spot of calm, a reminder that life could be something other than the court’s defense.
one time when he visited - his tea no longer a requisite for him to make an effort to come in - you were noticeably subdued. “mr. sweet pea passed away,” you revealed, eyes wet and voice thick. something about that seized his heart, his shadows growing restless. “he was so special.” you actually said that about each of your cattle, something that azriel had started to find endearing, because he knew you really believed it.
social tact was not a strength of his - azriel knew he tended to be rigid and too formal - so he stumbled over some stilted condolences. it felt awkward and impersonal; azriel couldn’t empathise with the death of a pet, but he wanted to make it hurt less. he still remembered what the late goat had looked like the last time you had brought him in - an old thing, with a long beard and a mix of brown and black fur. strong, impressive horns, one which had a sizeable chip missing.
so that night, he did what he could and sketched that image he had in his mind, of mr. sweet pea looking very wise and ponderous, if a little tired. azriel’s time as spymaster had bestowed him a keen eye and dexterous fingers, allowing him to make the necessary sketches to give his colleagues a clearer picture when necessary - of maps, of creatures, of profiles. they tended to be a little rough and raw, nothing particularly artistic. he thought the same of his current piece, and hesitated over whether it was good enough.
when he finally gave you the sketch the next day, you went very still. he started stumbling over some excuses, but you soon interrupted him with a shaky breath. “this is so thoughtful, azriel. thank you so much.”
azriel grew bolder, and interactions started to occur outside the markets. he’d invite you for tea, indirectly revealing one of his interests. he was a hard man to read, his expressions subtle when not stoic, but you learned. outside of professional matters, he was rarely straightforward, and tended to express his emotions in delicate, layered ways. his care for you was in the way he listened, how his attention never wavered when you were speaking with him. it was how he kept you close when you two navigated busy streets, how he lifted a wing over your head for cover when it rained, how he was content to spend time with you at your stall - sometimes for hours - despite his preference for quietude.
when work took him away, you two would exchange letters. azriel didn’t realise how dangerous a thing it was, because you quickly became a very intimate and constant part of his life. the act of writing tricked him, making it easier to truly express his thoughts - there was no pressure of navigating the immediate reaction, no incentive to keep his words short. you managed to draw so much out of him. he was mindful of each letter of yours he received, keeping them safe and tied together with an old ribbon of yours he’d saved before you could throw it away. he would never admit it, but work abroad tended to be overwhelming: while secure in his network’s quality of intelligence, being in another’s territory always meant having to deal with various variables and vulnerabilities, usually unknown. maybe your letters would have made it all a little more manageable if they didn’t elicit such longing within him. your words made him smile, yes, but they also made his heart ache. he missed you.
after a lengthy assignment in the dawn court, azriel was relieved to be back in velaris. his shadows swirled and whispered around his shoulders, eager to feel your presence too. he knew they fascinated you, how playful they could be sometimes. yet, azriel couldn’t find you at your empty market stall. it was odd - you hadn’t mentioned moving in your recent letters, and he couldn’t find you in any of the other market squares either. soon his shadows grew restless, embodying the concern that was rising.
he employed his spy network to find your farm, hoping it wouldn’t be too intrusive to just show up unannounced. you had mentioned some details in passing before - it was a modest place, with a small house and a meagre hill of grass to feed a handful of goats and sheep. the door was answered by two worried faces, who took one look at azriel and grew even more distressed. “our son— it’s not our son, is it? it can’t be— he just—”
“i’m here to see your daughter,” azriel interrupted, too preoccupied to remember polite niceties. they were confused, guarded, but let him through. the hallways were narrow, his wings often knocking against the wall sconces. he listened as they explained your condition - an illness had befallen you, leaving you bedridden for days. apparently a healer had told them it’ll pass with rest and water, and with that reassurance, azriel forced himself to remember his place. right in front of your closed door, he willed his shadows away from his face, called upon his familiar impassiveness. turning around to face your parents, he amended, “may i see your daughter?”
your room was dark, the curtains drawn. his heart raced as he heard your laboured breaths, and something pulled at him when he saw the small desk in the corner, an unfinished letter atop it. “azriel?” you whispered, voice sounding so small. “is it really you?”
he neared, taking a cautious seat on the side of the bed. you were shivering, but the thin sheet covering you stuck to your skin with sweat. “yes, it’s me, sweetheart,” he said, the endearment slipping out before he could stop it. his throat closed up immediately after, but your vague movements suggested you didn’t even realise, and that you weren’t all there. he could see the feverish blush high on your cheeks, even in the dim light.
“you’re too big for this room,” you mused softly, making azriel smile despite his worry. indeed, he had to bend down to avoid hitting his head, and keep his wings tucked in uncomfortably tight. he took your hand in his, and even in your feverish haze, you could register the roughness of his scarred hands, but they always handled you gently. “why didn’t you tell me in your letters?” he asked, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. your discomfort was clear in your frown, in your downturned lips. noticing the basin on the bedside table, he took the damp rag on your forehead and dipped it into the cool water, wringing away the excess before gently placing it atop your head again.
“i… didn’t want to trouble you with… with something trivial. a few more days and… and i’ll be back to work.” a weak smile pulled at your mouth, and azriel gathered both of your hands in his again. he shook his head at your line of thinking.
“your health isn’t a trivial matter to me,” he said, leaning close and cupping your cheek. in hindsight, it was so obvious that he had been in love with you far longer than he thought. it was all so rueful, the fact that he had let it happen again. despite it all, he pressed a kiss to your hand, trying to ignore how it trembled. your smile strengthened then, tracing a finger over his brow and down the bridge of his nose. azriel took a deep breath to savour the touch, and soon you two were merely watching each other, azriel wondering what thoughts were running through your slightly added mind. your lids eventually started to droop, however, but still he stayed even when you fell asleep, taking care to change the cool rag when necessary. his shoulders slumped when his head fell into his hands, squeezing his eyes shut tight. with such a revelation, what was he to do from now on?
azriel didn’t think he could be a good lover to you - even if he so very much wanted to be. his job took up so much of time, and it required him to be secretive. azriel wouldn’t ever be able to share everything with you, for the sake of keeping you safe. even if he could, there was just something in his nature that kept him reserved and pushed others away. there were so many things he’d rather leave in the past, and so many more that he wished he hadn’t been part of. there was that, but also his loathsome scarred hands - a reminder of those darker days. no matter how gentle, his touch would always scratch and scrape. once you took notice of how neglected they were, left to dry out and sometimes even scab, you took to work to concoct a nourishing lotion. “you have to be gentle with yourself, azriel,” you had once told him, gently applying the salve to his hands. they were rough but warm against your skin. “you do so much.”
and so, everything he did with you was tinged with a hint of sorrow. he couldn’t bring himself to confront you with the severity of his feelings, but he also couldn’t quite remove you from his life - you had become a friend. you eventually noticed that he started to let his touches linger: when he hugged you, he’d curl arms and wings around you, enveloping you wholly; when you were near, his shadows would stretch toward you, as if revealing a hidden desire. when you reached for his hand, he would always grip it firmly, and when you came very close for some unimportant reason, his gaze would always linger on your face, flicking so often to your lips.
one night you had invited him over to the farm, wanting to introduce him to the latest addition of your household: a baby goat, just over a week old. she was as white as snow, and kept nibbling at your hair as you held her in your arms. “what should we name her, azriel?” you had asked, too preoccupied to notice how tense he was, hands in his pockets. “i was thinking of marjorie, or maybe miss marjorie… hey, what’s wrong?” his face was unusually expressive, his shadows roiling about his talons as if in distress. putting down the goat, her legs still clumsy and gangly, you stepped closer to azriel, reaching out. he shook his head, trying to school his face but you knew him by now. your shoulders slumped, recalling his strange behaviour over the years - he was present in most ways, but avoidant in others. “i wish you’d talk to me, azriel,” you murmured, taking his hand and hoping he wouldn’t mind the dirt. “you mean so much to me.”
it all bubbled up then in that small barn, the light dim and the smell of earth pungent. you let out a rueful laugh, rubbing your eye. “i’m in love with you,” you said, very quietly at first. immediately you felt so naive to be doing this. the fact was that azriel came from a different life, one that saw him as a leader of the court, who worked with powerful and beautiful people, fae who were richer and stronger and vastly more interesting. azriel’s mere presence in your life was extraordinary enough. and yet, you had found yourself falling in love despite the impracticability of it, found yourself admiring his kindness, his quiet generosity, his strength and resilience and dry humour. you shifted, looking right into his eyes. even if your love was unrequited, he deserved to be told - if only to let him know that he indeed was loved by one more. “i’m in love with you. i don’t— i don’t expect you to say it in return, but i can no longer keep it to myself. i love you.”
that threw azriel. he had fantasised of course, indulged in the scenario. but now, as you waited for his response, his thoughts stuttered. what? he wanted to say, unable to believe what he actually so very desperately wanted to believe. you grew nervous as the silence lengthened, azriel’s face as stoic as ever. you shook your head, covering your mouth in regret. “i’m sorry, i— i shouldn’t have said anything—”
he gripped your shoulders tight, gaze intense and voice low. “i also love you.”
“why do you say it like it’s a bad thing?” the solemnity which had tinged your relationship for some time was subtle, but you had felt it, and it had bothered you.
azriel’s hands came up to cup your face, and he quickly shook his head. “it’s not,” he said, he urged. “it’s not, it’s not.” and then his lips met yours, chapped and rough, kissing you slowly, thoroughly, firmly. the conviction made your heart melt, and you gripped his wrists, feeling his racing pulse and caressing it, kissing him back, standing on your toes, letting him steal your breath. “i love you so much, sweetheart,” he sighed against your lips, nose brushing against yours. you went to reply but then azriel had claimed your mouth again, one hand snaking around to your back and the other to the nape of your neck. the light shifted behind your closed eyes as his wings came down to envelope the both of you, and your fingers reached to tangle in his hair, to trace the shells of his ears.
when you two parted again, his grin was lopsided and a little wry. “i just couldn’t believe it,” he murmured, his eyes shining with emotion. why not? you wanted to ask, wondering what it was that had held him back for so long, but decided to delay it for another day. all you could do was hug him tighter, just glad for the sight of his smile and the feeling of his relief. glad for his happiness.
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I Missed You (Azriel x Reader)
Fandom: A Court of Thorns and Roses
Word Count: 934
Prompt(s): “Everything alright?” & “I just missed you.”
Azriel had been gone for a month on an assignment for Rhysand. At first it was fine. It wasn’t the first time he’d had to go away. It wasn’t even the longest he’d ever been gone. But after the second week, you were miserable. You weren’t sleeping. Sleeping alone had never been an issue for you. You always preferred it. Apparently the Illyrian had gotten further under your skin than you realized.
Your mood continued to deteriorate. Instead of laughing at Cassian and Mor’s antics, you found yourself snapping at them. You apologized after, but it clued everyone in on your mood which you quickly brushed off as lack of sleep.
They weren’t stupid and neither were you. Figuring out what was really wrong wasn’t hard. You missed Azriel. Really missed him. It had been awhile since he’d been away. Your relationship had progressed a lot more than it had been back then. It wasn’t easy anymore. You didn’t want to be away from him. That realization didn’t help your mood. If anything, it made it worse.
You were quiet throughout dinner with everyone. Internally, you were grumbling about the new predicament you found yourself in. If you were honest with yourself, you were aware that it wasn’t new. You’d felt this way for a long time, but there was always something to distract you. But things had been peaceful since the war. There weren’t any more distractions so now you had to actually deal with these feelings. You weren’t looking forward to what that meant.
As soon as you were able, you excused yourself from dinner. You avoided anyone who might stop you, making your way through the streets as quickly as possible. All you wanted to do was get home, curl in bed, and try to at least get a few hours of sleep.
You let yourself into the house you shared with Azriel and chucked your shoes off as you stomped past the living room. There was light coming out of the living room as you passed and you caught a glimpse of something in the corner of your eye, but ignored it. You were nearly to the bedroom when your brain caught with you and you came to a quick stop. After standing in the middle of the halfway for a moment, you slowly turned and walked back towards the living room. You walked through the doorway to see Azriel reclined on the couch, a small smile gracing his lips.
A whine tore itself from your mouth as you launched yourself at the male. He chuckled as you wrapped your arms and legs around him. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you ever closer.
“I just missed you,” you mumbled, burying your face in the crook of his neck. You’re sure you looked ridiculous with the way you were wrapped around him, but It didn’t matter. You needed to be close to him.
The fact that he was back early lingered at the back of your mind. You were going to ask why but got distracted by tingling in your eyes. You wanted to roll your eyes and tell yourself to stop acting like a child, but couldn’t think past the flurry of emotions that were curing through you. So you just tightened your arms around him and focused on not letting the tears pooling in your eyes fall. Of course he had to wrap his wings around you, blocking out anything that wasn’t the two of you.
Tears streamed down your face as you sniffled, trying to get them to stop. You felt a small shaking under you and pulled back to glare at Azriel.
“Stop laughing at me.”
He stopped laughing, but the smile didn’t leave his face. He gently wiped the tears from your cheeks and pressed a kiss to your forehead. You sighed at the feeling, a smile breaking out across your face despite the tears that still occasionally slipped down your face.
“I missed you too.”
He pulled you back to his chest tightening his grips around you. You closed your eyes and laid there listening to the sound of his heart beating. One of his hands stroked up and down your back and you let out a soft sigh. The sleepiness was weighing down on you but now you fought to stay awake. Minutes ago all you had wanted was to rest but now that he was here that was the last thing you wanted.
“You’re home early,” you said hoping talking might help you stay awake.
“Things weren’t as bad as we thought.”
You let out a hum. You started to lean more heavily into him before you jerked, remembering you were trying to stay awake. He turned his head to look down at you and you gave him a small smile. You sat up slightly to connect your lips to his. He pulled away too soon for your liking which he could tell from the small glare you sent him.
“Go to sleep Y/n.” He lifted you into his arms and made his way to your bedroom. The drowsiness was already creeping back over you before you even reached the hallway.
“I’ll be here when you wake up.”
He laid you on the bed, and you were quick to curl into his side when he joined you. You said a jumbled I love you and wondered if he could even decipher what you had said. He laughed and pulled you closer.
“I love you too. Now sleep.”
That was the last thing you heard before sleep finally overtook you.
A/n: I love him so much.
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Unrequited pt. 2
azriel (acotar) x reader
*this is part 2! Sorry for the wait guys! I really struggled with this and low-key I don’t like it but I hope y'all do! I wanna write the scenes after this but idk how im gonna make it work lol. anyway, enjoy!
word count: 3193
What you hadn’t realized was that Azriel left a few minutes later, walking to your apartment to make sure you had gotten home safe.
All of a sudden he heard whimpers and labored breathing coming from the alley.
Nothing could have prepared him for the sight of you laying on the ground and bleeding out. He felt a tug in his chest. A click. Panic instilled in him as he gently but swiftly picked you up and flew you to Madja.
“Hang on y/n, you’re so strong” he whispered
In those moments, he feared for you. Fear that was so strong. Something he had never felt before.
He rushed into the house laying you on the bed gently before he was shoved out by the Madja so she could try to save you.
Azriel alerted the others and then collapsed into a chair, sitting in silence. A tear slipped out of his eye at the thought he may have been too late to save you.
You. His mate.
Why, of all the times did the bond have to click while you were on the brink of death. In a situation where you may not make it out alive. It wasn’t fair.
He wondered if you had known. Could that be the reason why you had been distancing yourself from him? Because you didn’t expect or want him to be your mate? But if you had known you would’ve said something, right? You wouldn’t keep it a secret? So many thoughts kept racing through his head.
Could it have been because of Elain? He knew the inner circle wasn’t stupid, they all saw him drifting more and more to Elain. Could that have been why you had distanced yourself? He would be lying if he said he didn’t like Elain, but he would also be lying if he said he didn’t like you.
Your stubbornness. Your generosity. Your sense of adventure. The way you could get lost in the things you did.
Suddenly the door swung open and the others came into the room, worry written all over their faces.
Azriel could tell that Cassian and Mor had been crying on the way there.
“How bad is it?” Mor shook as she spoke. You could see the pain in her eyes. The worry she had for someone who was basically her sister.
Azriel’s expression was unreadable and he didn’t respond.
“Do you think she will make it?” Feyre asked, grief evident in her posture. “I- I don’t know” Azriel answered, “It was pretty bad,” he said quietly.
Just as he answered, Madja appeared from the other room. “She’s in rough shape, I don’t know if she’s gonna make it through the night. She lost a lot of blood.”
The room grew eerily quiet
“She’s stable for now, but I will stay here and notify you if any changes occur.”
Rhys, Feyre, Amren, and Elain went back to the townhouse to try and get as much rest as they could. Mor, Cassian, and Azriel decided to stay in your room with you.
Tears started slipping from Cassian’s eyes once he saw your fraile body lying in bed, barely hanging on.
“Oh mother” Mor sobbed out, a hand slipping over her mouth. She went over to the bed you were on, gently sitting on it and grabbing to hold your hand. She leaned against the headboard and watched as your chest heaved.
The trio sat in silence for some time, watching your every move, your breathes, whimpers, and shifts.
Azriel broke the silence.
“She’s my mate. All this time and I never knew.”, the sentence coming out as a whisper.
Shock was painted on Mor’s face. “Y/n’s your mate? How di-? When?”
“It clicked when I saw her body lying there.” his voice started breaking “Why did it have to happen right now. Of all the times. Why couldn’t it have happened months ago. I could’ve had more time. This never would have happened. How do I move on from this?” his voice ending on a whisper.
“All you can do is hope to mother that she has the strength to pull through.” Cassian replied softly. “You know, this whole situation is so ironic.”, he said softly to himself, lightly shaking his head.
Azriel gave Cassian a look of confusion, wondering what he was talking about, but decided to drop it for now.
“Anyway, let’s try to get some sleep and pray the morning holds better news”
Mor had dozed off, back against the headboard and hand still holding yours. Cassian was sitting in the chair, head resting on the palm of his head, it still took him a few hours to fall asleep completely. Azriel, however, couldn’t sleep. The thought of sleeping while you laid like this. He felt guilty, the feeling that he may have been too late. For the rest of the night, Azriel sat in a chair next to your bed, shrouded in darkness, hoping you would be ok.
Sunlight peeked through the sheer blinds over the balcony door. The faint sound of birds singing flowed through the air. Light shined onto your face, causing you to groan. Groggily, you opened your eyes, blinking to adjust to the light filling the room. Your head pounded and you winced as you shifted in bed.
“Y/n?” you heard a whisper. You mumbled in response. “Oh! Thank mother you’re alright! We were all so worried for you. Wait, let me call Madja now that you’re up.” Mor rambled on causing you to smile slightly. “CASSIAN!” she squealed “Wake up! Look! Y/n is awake!”
Cassian jumped to his feet at her shout. “Oh my god!” he ran over to your side “I was so worried, I’m so glad you’re alright” he said, taking your hand into his. “Let me go call the others, they’ve been waiting for an update.”
Soon after, the rest of the inner circle came over to your room to check in and Madja came to see how you were healing.
“That was quite the wound you had. Make sure to rest for the next two weeks. No buts, we don’t want this opening back up from stress or straining activity.”. You groaned at the thought.
“But I feel fine now, it’s not a big deal! I can go back to doing my duties in 2 days. I’ll be good as new.” you pleaded, trying to convince Madja and yourself. Before she could respond, Rhys cut in.
“You will do nothing of the sort. You just got stabbed for cauldrons sake, if i catch you trying to do anything remotely straining, i’ll lock you in your room and have Cassian stand guard in front of it”
“Fine” you grumbled out
“Now that everything is settled, i’ll be coming to check on you every few days.” Madja states before leaving
After a little more small talk was exchanged, the inner circle decided to leave you to rest a bit more, but promised they would visit you as frequently as they could.
Except, one person stayed behind.
“Can I talk to you?”
“Is something wrong?” you asked
After a hesitant pause his voice rang out. “We’re mates.”
You felt a blow to your chest. When did he find this out? As if Azriel had read your thoughts, he responded “Last night. After I found you.”
“But, Cassian said something, how it was ironic, and I can’t help but wonder how long you’ve known”
“I-, I told Cassian that we were mates yester-”
“But how long have you known y/n.” his voice quiet and sharp as a knife, as if tendrils of anger were waiting to escape
“Since the diplomatic mission Rhys sent us on”, you whispered. You could feel the tears threatening to fall from your eyes
“That was months ago and you didn’t think to tell me?” You could feel the anger in his voice
“I thought you would have figured it out sooner. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry” tears started falling from your eyes
“You knew and said nothing. Why didn’t you say anything? You should have said something” he seethed. His anger was unhinged, a drastic change for the usually calm and collected shadowsinger.
“If you didn’t want to be my mate just tell me. I’d be glad to be rid of the bond.”. As soon as he said it, he regretted it. His anger dissipated. He looked up and saw your face, tears streaming down.
“I see the way you look at Elain, Azriel. I’m not some stupid fucking female. How do you think it feels to see your mate all over someone else. I wanted to give you a chance to find your own happiness without me burdening you with this. And if we’re being honest, if you had to choose between me or her, you would choose her. I knew you would be disappointed by me. I knew you wouldn’t want to be my mate, that's why I didn’t tell you.” your anger started boiling up. “Do you think it feels good to be rejected, especially by someone you’ve loved for a long time? I didn’t want you to be disappointed that I was your mate, the person you’ve waited so long for.” your voice tapered off at the end. “Can you leave please” you said softly
“No, wait, I’m sorry I-“
“Azriel. Get out.” your voice boomed through the room.
He left reluctantly, softly shutting the door behind him. Just as the door shut, the sobs that you had been desperately trying to hold back broke free. Your body shuddered as you hugged yourself, crying yourself back to sleep.
During the following weeks, you avoided Azriel at all costs. As soon as he walked into the room, you would walk out. Any required conversations were kept short. You did anything you could to keep your mind off of him, cleaning, errands, hell you did it all. It certainly didn’t help your recovery, but you did what you could to keep your mind busy and off of Azriel.
“Y/n stop please. You need to rest, how many times do we have to tell you. You’re only making the healing process longer” Mor ranted on.
“I’m fine, I doubt a wound, which is almost healed by the way, would be damaged by me doing chores” you emphasized as you rolled your eyes
“Maybe not by chores, but it is affected by your stress”
A moment of silence passed.
“He feels terrible, you know, he didn’t mean to say it. He just wants to talk to you.”. Mor didn’t risk saying his name because she knew it would only anger you more.
“Well I don’t want to talk to him, or deal with him, or see him, or think about him. At all.”. You grumbled. Your heart clenched, but you brushed it aside.
“Y/n, please. I love you two and it hurts to see our family like this right now.”
“Please, can we drop it, I-“ your voice cracked
“Yeah, of course. Just… keep an open mind, maybe?”
“Yeah, ok” you looked down.
“I’ll see you later tonight then, for Rhys and Feyre’s dinner party.”
“Sounds good.”. You pressed your lips into a tight smile as you watched Mor walk off. You had definitely contemplated not going today. All of the inner circle certainly knew what happened, maybe not all the details, but still enough, which made you feel exposed. You weren’t use to having your emotions splayed out to everyone like that, and it made you too vulnerable. However, Mor had threatened to pull you to the party herself if you refused to go, so being complicit seemed like the best option.
It was just one night. You would be fine… right?
It was nearing 8 as you finished getting ready for the party, which started at 8:30. You were wearing an olive green silk midi dress. It wasn’t anything too fancy, but it was still very elegant. And comfortable. You were touching up as Mor arrived.
“Ah, there she is, beautiful as ever.”
“I could say the same about you, darling” you emphasized
“Are you ready to go, I heard the party is getting started, and you know I wouldn’t want to miss all the cocktails”
A laugh mused on your face. You grabbed your purse before the pair of you winnowed to the house.
You arrived at the front door, scanning the scene when you got there. It was a cozy ballroom with french doors which opened up to a huge balcony leading to the gardens. There was a huge dining table in the center with plenty of space to mingle in clusters.
You hadn’t spotted Azriel yet, a sigh of relief leaving your body. You strutted in, arms linked with Mor, grabbing a drink off the platter. You weren’t even sure who or what this party was for, but you realized you had downplayed it after spotting Helion and Tarquin. The high lords in Velaris. But that was the least of your concerns, the only thing you were focused on was avoiding Azriel.
Spotting Feyre near Helion, you breezed over to say hi.
“Ah! Y/n! Helion, i’m sure the two of you have met a few times before!” Feyre smiled out
“Yes, I do remember you! I heard about what happened, how are you feeling?” He asked
“Much better than the last few weeks, that’s for sure. Although I must say, this alcohol is certainly helping” you giggled. “Well I just wanted to pop over and say hi, but I think I’m gonna go find Cassian now. It was so nice to see you again Lord Helion, enjoy your evening.”
“You too Miss Y/L/N”
You dipped your head towards the both of them before making your way through the room to find Cassian. Where was he for caldrons sake. You hadn’t seen him in a week because he had to go up to the illyrian war camps again. Pushing your way through the crowd, you bumped into a hard chest, spilling your champagne. Cursing to yourself, you started to apologize.
“Oh mother, I’m so so sorry, clums-“. Looking up your y/e/c eyes met strong hazel ones, which were burning into your soul. You felt your throat close up, starting to feel trapped in the crowed room
No no no no. This couldn’t be happening. Not now.
You knew it was only a matter of time before you would have to talk to him, but you couldn’t do it now. Before he could say a word, you pushed past him and bolted out to the balcony to get some fresh air. You had run to the corner, near the steps to the garden, out of sight from others. Taking deep breaths, you calmed your nerves. You would be ok, everything was fine. It would be fine. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.
You decided to quickly go grab another drink before returning to the serenity outside. Leaning against the balcony, you stared out at the stars and the gardens. They were so beautiful, even in the winter, you thought to yourself. You basked in the silence, your thoughts drowning you.
Some time had passed before you heard footsteps approaching you on the balcony. You knew who it was without having to turn around, but you still couldn’t bear to be around him. You turned to leave but his hand caught your wrist, holding it firmly. You could feel the scars from his hands against your skin.
“Please. I just want to talk”
“What’s there to talk about Azriel, you made your feelings clear that day.”
“Just listen, please, and then i’ll leave you alone if that’s what you wish”
You sighed, nodding your head in defeat. You couldn’t keep balling up your emotions.
He led you back to the railing of the balcony before his grasp left your wrist. You tilted your head down looking at your feet and fiddling with your thumb.
“I spent 500 years pining after Mor because I was so afraid of maybe having a chance at love. I thought it was best to love someone who would never love me back so I wouldn’t get hurt. Then I met Elain. She helped me to open up more, and helped me to believe that happiness would be possible for me, with someone. I had given up on the idea of having a mate. I didn’t think I deserved one. I was ok with that and had accepted that.”
He let out a breath as he ran his hand through his hair, light curls falling onto his forehead. “When I saw you lying there and the bond clicked, I was so mad at myself. I shut out the possibility of having a mate for so long. You were my mate. My mate. I never thought I would be able to say those words.”
“I was mad that you may not make it. I was mad that I didn’t find you soon enough. I was mad that we didn’t have more time. I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. I Just wanted you to be ok. And then when you told me that you had known for so long, I was angry. Angry that I hadn’t realized sooner, and angry that you kept it from me because you may not have wanted me or expected me to be your mate. And I snapped. Then you said the thing that I had least expected. You said you had loved me” He chuckled dryly. “I am so sorry, y/n, so very sorry.”.
His hand reached down to cup your face. He jerked your head up so you were looking at him. “What i’m trying to say is that I love you, but I understand if you don’t feel the same way anymore”.
The air had been knocked from your lungs. Your heart swelled and your eyes watered. Before you had realized what you were doing, your lips crashed into his. His mouth fit perfectly against yours. He was a breath of fresh air with a hint of mint. Azriel’s hands gripped your waist, pulling you into his body and he smiled against your lips. It felt so right. Everything about it. Your heart was pounding out of your chest as you both pulled away, breathless. Your forehead rested against his.
You whispered just loud enough for him to hear.
“I love you too”. As soon as the words left your mouth, he pulled you in for another kiss, his wings forming a cocoon around you. This one was more demanding. Passionate. A promise. You pulled away from his mouth and leaned against him, his arms wrapping around you.
“Oh, I almost forgot.” Azriel said. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a small black box. “It’s your Solstice gift, I was trying to find a good time to give it to you.”, he scratched the back of his head.
You gently took it from his hand. The box had a red ribbon wrapped around. Undoing the ribbon, You opened the box to find one of the beautiful necklaces you had been admiring with Mor. “Oh my Az. Its so beautiful. I love it. How did you know?”
“I may have had my shadows follow everyone around to find out what they wanted.” he laughed out.
You smiled. “Will you help me put it on?”. Handing the dainty chain to Azriel, you brushed you hair aside. Baring your neck to him. His fingers ghosted the soft skin, clasping the necklace together. He tenderly placed a kiss next to your ear, causing butterflies to erupt.
You cleared your throat. “I think we’ve been gone long enough. Would you like to get some food, Azriel?” you smiled.
“I would love to, my darling mate.” he paused before darkly saying “I am especially excited for the part that comes after I eat.”. You lightly smacked his shoulder before the two of you made your way inside, beaming.
@minnie-mitzel @itsbebeyyy @preciousbabymuffins @kexrtiz @vicisbookishblog @peneflop @millianec @agentsofsheilds
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azriel x reader (acotar)
warnings: periods, angst (?), fluff
word count: 1253
summary/request: may i request an azriel x reader where she’s on her period but she’s fae so it’s obviously much harder to cope with? azriel doesn’t know she’s on it and she accidentally snaps at him and he leaves, hurt and wondering what he did, and the reader feels guilty? But they make up at the end? thank you! From anon
a/n: hi, thank you so much for requesting, i loved this one so much! i hope you enjoy it too <333
Azriel sat at the dinner table with the other members of the Inner Circle, picking at his food, clearly troubled. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he missed the concerned glances thrown his way by his family, confused at his uncharacteristic distraction and at your lack of presence at the meal.
Meanwhile, the Illyrian was racking his brain for any potential things he could have done or said that would have led to your outburst earlier that morning.
He had awoken before you, as he did most mornings, and had left you to rest with a delicate kiss on your head whilst he went and prepared some breakfast for you. You were already awake when he returned and at the sight of him and the tray filled with food balanced in his scarred hands, you had burst into tears and ran to the bathroom, locking yourself inside. He had panicked, gently setting the tray on the bed, before making his way to the locked door, attempting to speak softly to you through it. Most of your response was incoherent through your sniffles and sobs, but he had understood you asking him for some space. He had obliged immediately, not wanting his presence to make you even more distressed, and had gone outside to train alone.
He had stayed there for the majority of the day, not trusting himself to be back at the house and not disturb you. Since returning when Feyre called him down for dinner, he had not seen you once and was even more troubled by your absence from the meal. His mind was whirring, instantly fearing the worst case scenarios.
What if he had said something to upset you? What if he had unknowingly hurt you during your activities the night prior? What if you had awoken and finally realised what he had feared you would since the minute the two of you discovered you were mates: that he was worthless, just a bastard born Illyrian, with horrid scars from his past and who murdered and tortured people for a living? That he was someone so utterly undeserving of your love?
“Az?” He was broken from his thought spiral by Feyre’s concerned voice calling for him, tilting his head up to look at her in surprise. “Are you alright?”
“Yes, of course. Apologies, I’ve got a lot on my mind.” he responded, giving her a barely there, sheepish smile in the hopes of reassuring her.
“Is Y/N feeling better? Poor girl, of course she isn’t. She must be feeling horrible.” Mor chimed in, pouting sympathetically.
Azriel’s attention snapped to the blonde, eyebrows furrowing as he sat up straighter.
“What do you mean?” he asked, glancing between Mor and Feyre as they shared a look. “Why would she be feeling horrible? Is she alright?”
“She’s on her period, Az. Cauldron, brother, even I knew that.” Cassian chuckled, shaking his head at Azriel’s obliviousness as he took another sip of his drink.
Realisation dawned on Azriel, your emotional outburst making complete sense to him now. He cursed himself for not recognising the signs sooner and for having left you alone all day with nothing but your pain and uncomfort. He stood abruptly from his chair, thanking Feyre briefly for the dinner, before rushing to the stairs and making his way to your shared room.
Upon opening the door, his heart broke at the sight of you curled up in a ball, head buried into the pillows as your hand pressed hopelessly against your stomach. Shame settled in on him for being so oblivious and not being there for you in your time of need.
Your eyes reluctantly flutter open at the sound of the door opening and shutting, widening when they land on him. You slowly unfurl yourself, groaning slightly as you move to sit up, not taking your eyes off of your mate for a second.
“I know you said you wanted space…” Azriel starts, avoiding your gaze as he glances nervously around the room. “So, if you’d like me to leave, then please just-“
“No..” you whisper, cutting him off, the slight pleading in your voice gaining his attention. “I’m so sorry, Azriel. I never should have said that to you or reacted the way I did. You did nothing but be your usual, considerate self but you know how I get.” you continue, voice wavering as you begin to tear up, guilt overcoming you at the vulnerability evident on the shadowsinger’s face. “Oh, Az, I’m so sorry.”
He reacts before he even realises what he is doing, heart aching at the sadness and fear radiating from you down the bond, feeling only the urge to comfort you. He quickly settles himself on the bed beside you before gently grasping you by the waist and pulling you into his lap. You instantly wrap your arms tightly around his shoulders, burying your face into his neck as one of his hands comes up to hold your quivering head in place, the other running soothingly up and down your back.
“It’s okay, my love. I’m here now, I’m here. You have nothing to apologise for.” he promises, pressing multiple kisses to the crown of your head. “I should’ve known what this week was, it’s my fault.”
You shake your head, pulling back slightly to look him in the eye.
“No, don’t say that. I snapped at you and I shouldn’t have. It’s my fault, not yours.” you murmur, Azriel’s eyebrows furrowing in concern as he moves his hands up to cup your face.
“Let’s just agree that it’s nobody’s fault, alright? Nobody but that period of yours.” he smiles fondly at you, eyes brightening when he notes your visible relaxation at his light tone.
“I hate being a woman.” you pout, earning a chuckle from your mate, resulting in a small smile of your own which quickly drops as a wave of pain hits you.
Azriel frowns as your face contorts into an expression of pure discomfort, a small pulse of pain echoing down the bond. He coos softly at you, moving one large hand down to rest over your back, an area he knows to be the cause of some of your worst cramps. You sigh softly as the warmth from his palm seeps into your skin, relieving the ache momentarily as you slump against him.
He smiles, pride sparking within him at his ability to ease your suffering with the maimed hands which he believed would only ever be the cause of people’s suffering. He tilts his head ever so slightly, pressing a delicate kiss to each of your cheeks, followed by one on your nose and then, finally, one on your lips.
You sigh contently against him, his smile widening before he nudges your head back against his shoulder, reaching down to the foot of the bed for the blanket resting there. He brings it up over the two of you, adjusting himself into a more comfortable position.
He now lay back against the headrest, with you settled comfortably in his lap, legs curled up on either side of him. He rubs soothing circles into the small of your back, his free hand coming up to run through your hair.
“Sleep now, darling. I’ll be here when you awake.” he says, resting his head on top of your own as you relax further into his embrace.
“You promise?” you mumble against his skin, eyelids already heavy as his hands lull you to sleep.
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come as you are
pairing: azriel (ACoTaR) x reader
summary: in the evening before a high-profile banquet, reader feels a little out of place. azriel reassures her that he fell in love with them just as they are.
notes: oof bad summary, but this is fluffy and azriel is real romantic in this one <3 eg. the line “i have not once wished you to be any different than you are.”
you shuffled your feet as you made your way to the living room, having heard azriel arrive home a few minutes ago. your gown clung to you, making you uncomfortable in all kinds of ways. it was disappointing, frankly - weeks of preparation, of confidence, and now you felt embarrassed, wearing what you were. it felt like a costume. it was silly - you had meticulously observed the court’s fashion trends, taken cue from azriel’s friends - you knew the dress was appropriate. but for some reason, you felt like an impostor in it.
there azriel was, sitting on the couch. his wings curved along the back, sharp talons gleaming. you sidled up behind him, curling an arm over his chest as you rested your chin on his head.
“my love,” he greeted, warmth in his voice as he entwined his fingers with yours. you sighed as you shifted, nudging your head against his. he looked up at you, his shadows faintly curling over his ears. perhaps your expression was particularly morose, because he squeezed your hand just a little tighter. “long day?”
“just another day,” you mumbled, shrugging. azriel’s brows rose when you rounded the couch, finally allowing him to see the gown. it was no surprise to him - he had been so patient with your fussing, asking for his input on what colours would compliment your skin and hair and eyes the best. at first he had been vague, telling you things like you’d look beautiful in anything and just wear what you like, but once he realised the whole thing actually really distressed you, azriel tried his best to be more specific, despite meaning what he’d initially said. your preoccupation had concerned him, but he dismissed it as excitement. but now, the way you behaved - sheepish, uneasy, reluctant - made him really worry.
“you’re as beautiful as ever,” he said, taking your hand and guiding you closer. resting his hands on your hips, he didn’t miss your tight smile at his words. “are you ready for tonight?”
you weren’t. not for the first time, you couldn’t help but think of how different you were to his friends in the inner circle. even the company they kept - other courts’ princes, captains of the guard… influential people. you were nowhere near as affluent or powerful. compared to them, you were so average, just another citizen in velaris. frankly, you found it ridiculous to believe that azriel had ever deigned to take interest in you in the first place. all this insecurity had been funneled into your obsessive preparation for tonight’s banquet, where you’d be in such esteemed company. you were scared that if you made a misstep, you’d embarrass not only yourself, but azriel too.
unable to meet his eyes, you said, “just my hair.”
he frowned at that, but didn’t press. “let me,” he said, taking your hand again as he led you to the bedroom. there was a long, full-length mirror there, reflecting azriel’s actions as he sat on the bed after finding your brush. he was still in his leathers, yet to change into his set of black finery.
you were taken aback that azriel had taken the duty upon himself, but didn’t comment. what you didn’t know - but what shouldn’t have been such a big surprise - was that azriel had paid attention to the styles which had caught your eye in the past. in informal gatherings with the inner circle, he’d seen the way you had looked at feyre’s intricate braids - with longing, and sometimes even with envy.
as you made to sit, azriel grabbed your elbow. “not on the floor.” you stifled a chuckle - it was rather his aversion to grime and impropriety that made him say it instead of concern for your dress.
“i’m fine here,” you insisted, smile pulling at your mouth. the gown pooled around you as you sat at his feet, facing your reflection. curling your arms around his shins, you pressed a quick kiss to his knee. he caressed your bare skin from shoulder up to neck, his scars rough but familiar. as azriel ran his hands through your hair for a few moments, some tension left your jaw - you hadn’t even realised the thought of the banquet had you gritting your teeth the whole time.
you watched him through the mirror as he started to brush your hair, wondering how he felt about tonight. he wasn’t really one for social events, but he was one to indulge those he loved. it should’ve made your heart warm, but instead you felt that tell-tale stinging of the nose and blinked back tears.
it had been an adjustment to accept - if you ever truly had accepted - the juxtaposition of your and azriel’s worlds. coming to know the affluence of the inner circle and azriel’s wealth… it had posed some challenges you two had to overcome. he didn’t boast his wealth - lived rather modestly, in fact - but the fact that money was rarely an object for any of the inner circle grated at you. every time you saw them, they seemed untouchable - the most beautiful gowns, priceless jewelry, big houses, such luxury up at the house of wind. their sheer intelligence, the level of their wit - you sometimes felt like you couldn’t keep up. it was easy to be envious, and indeed sometimes you wished you were a person of importance to the court, if only to feel more worthy of azriel.
“what’s on your mind?” he asked gently, fingers starting to work your hair into braids in a loving, lingering manner. it felt so comforting, it felt so safe.
“am i doing this right?” you blurted, and his movements stilled, but only for a moment. “we’re from such different worlds, azriel. do you ever wish i had been someone better?”
“better?” he scoffed, such an overt gesture for the usually stoic man. “i have not once wished you to be any different than you are.”
you sighed, voice tight and heavy with emotion when you spoke again. “i can’t compare to the inner circle. ever. i’m nobody, azriel. i’m not anyone of consequence. i’m not even attractive enough to just be a trophy mate. i can’t understand why you ever--”
“stop.” it was quiet, firm, solemn. you tried to place his expression, but this time you really couldn’t read him. “why do you say such things?” you ignored the hypocrisy - azriel was certainly no stranger to self depreciation. “would you really give up your current life for these things? do i not… do i not make you happy? do you want more?”
azriel rarely stumbled over his words, and the hesitancy immediately clutched at your heart. you shook your head, a harsh jerk, but azriel’s voice was stern. “keep still.”
“it’s not you!” you growled, gripping his legs tighter as you tried to avoid your reflection. heat flushed your cheeks and chest, anger and frustration colouring your skin. “i’m not—i’m not made of the same stuff as you, azriel. don’t i bore you?”
heart racing, palms sweating. the ensuing silence rang loud. you risked a glance at the mirror, but azriel was merely letting the hairstyle take shape. his non-answer was making your outburst feel childish, but then he gently nudged your chin.
the mirror reflected back exactly what you’d envisioned for yourself, and yet, you were too drained to be happy about it. “looks lovely, azriel. thank you.”
he touched your shoulder; a request. rising to straddle his lap, you swallowed hard as he gently held your face in his hands. if he were someone else, the intensity of his gaze might have been intimidating, but you knew he was merely gathering his thoughts. “you’re you, and that’s very important. i fell in love with you. fate has decided my other half is you, just as you are. peace with you is not boring, my love,” he said, a strange half-chuckle escaping him. “and comparison won’t do; it is for people like you who we work to protect. your role in velaris isn’t without impact - you’ve touched many lives, whether they were kin or not. your effect cannot be erased. it certainly cannot be undone on me.”
“azriel,” you whispered, unsure of what else to say. his shadows had started to snake around you, intangible things trying their best to give comfort.
“is this why you’re anxious about tonight? because you feel the need to prove yourself?” you looked away, and while his thumb caressed your cheek, he didn’t try to force your gaze. “sweetheart,” he sighed, “my love for you is unconditional.”
and finally the tears rolled. you whimpered as you clutched at his back, pressing close to hide your face against his neck. azriel rarely spoke so much - it was usually nonverbal with him. to hear these things uttered so genuinely, so adoringly - it overwhelmed your heart.
“i love you so much, azriel. so very much.”
he held you tight, pressing a kiss to your temple. “don’t undo all my hard work, mind you,” he murmured wryly, making you laugh as you reflexively touched a braid. “stop it,” he insisted, nose rubbing against yours as he grabbed your careless hand, and then you were really laughing, because now azriel was grinning too and his fingers were entwining with yours and you were almost feeling like yourself again. he pulled back, so very beautiful with that rare full smile. it slowly faded, however, but the mirth in his face remained. “my lovely mate,” he mused, so low that it was more akin to an uttered thought rather than spoken with intent.
when the time came, you enjoyed the banquet: compliments and catch-ups and champagne, politics and wit and inter-court visitors. later that night - or early the next morning - when it was just you and azriel again, laying in bed in the darkness, he admitted that the glamour of the inner circle even got to him at times. it was no surprise, considering how formal azriel was. yes, there was hierarchy; yes, there were power imbalances, but what really bound them together was love, not status. he had arm and wing thrown over you, lulling you to sleep with affirmations and reassurances, telling you just once more how important, how worthy, how extraordinary you and your so-called mundane life were, and to never let anyone tell you otherwise.
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Can you do a post-mating bond with Azriel ?
-: ✧ :-゜・．azriel x reader
⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ post-mating bond
Azriel tucks his wings behind him, looking at you with an odd gleam in his eyes. You throw on your clothes, body still sore and satiated from the previous four nights. Again and again, Azriel took you with his mouth, fingers, and his cock. You lost track of the number of times you came.
“Get dressed,” You told him, a beaming grin on your lips. Azriel did as you bid. His movements were sharp, not quite used to the fire brandishing his skin, the rubbing on his soul. “Where are we going?” He asked. You shrugged, “For a walk. We need to get out of the house,”
You handed Azriel paper, a quill, with a small pot of ink. Hold them, you requested. Outside, the autumn chill was heavy in the air, the leaves a marvelous red, brown, and orange as they prepared to fall and rot under the snow. You slipped your hand into his free one, leading him into the forest. Azriel only followed, his shadows trailing you like a second silhouette. You never seemed to mind it, treating them as some sort of pet. Though, his shadows weren’t quite fond of that.
You slipped your hand into his own, “I’m planning a surprise. It’s what I was doing this morning whilst you were in the shower,” Azriel blinked. His shadows had been calm, resting peacefully. He hadn’t known you left. You waved him off upon seeing the flicker in his eyes, “There’s nothing to worry about. No one is in the mountains beside us,”
After a moment, Azriel relaxed. He knew you were more than capable of taking care of yourself. He knew it. It did nothing to help the bond screaming to protect. He wondered if the feeling would ever dull. From what he’s seen with Cassian and Rhys, he didn’t think so.
The clearing in the woods had a little stack of wood, positioned for a fire. You gave him a glance when you lit it, moving back to stand beside him. “Growing up, my siblings and I would have this tradition. For what we wanted our future. When I was a little girl, I said I wanted a mate. My brothers laughed at me. It was a foolish notion, wasn’t it? To assume that someone like me — someone who means nothing,” You cut him off when he tried to protest. You weren’t nothing. Not to him. “Would find their mate. If I even had one. We write it on a piece of paper and burn it. We then bury the ashes,”
Azriel’s lips quirked slightly. “Do you believe it?” Your face heated. Still, you said, “I found you, didn’t I?” You sat on the forest floor, the leaves crunching beneath you. The fire warmed your skin, driving away the cold. He sat across you, watching as you ripped the paper into thin strips. You handed him several, asking, “What do you want our future to look like?”
Azriel paused. He hadn’t thought about it. He had a general idea, he supposed. One that involved you and him spending countless nights and mornings in bed together. You caught his hesitation, waving it off, “I’ll start. I want a cat named Evanora,” You gave him a pointed look as you scribbled it down. “Perhaps for my birthday or Winter Solstice,” You muttered. You grabbed another one, “I want a house on the riverside. I want to spend the rest of my life happy with you. I want to spend the morning of every holiday in your arms,”
After each one, you placed it into the fire, watching as the paper crinkled and faded away. Azriel was writing silently. You peered over curiously, catching, I want to win the snowball fight. You rolled your eyes, breath catching the next one, I want to have a family. I want to make Y/n happy.
Azriel threw it in, eyes waiting until they were nothing more than a spec to look at you. “I love you,” He says. “I love you, too,”
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The Fear of a Lover - Azriel x Female!reader
Type - Imagine
Character(s) - Azriel
Warning(s)- Angst, Panic Attack.
Note - Request are open. Feel free to send something in :)
Description - After a fight with your mate you head to separate rooms for the night. Only you have a nightmare and he can feel it down the bond.
Masterlist Request Rules
You and Azriel didn’t fight very often, so it was no surprise that after a good hour of screaming at each other for one reason or another that you both made the awful mistake of going to bed upset with each other.
Mother nature decided that she was equally upset with the pair of you and decided to release a violent storm of thunder and lightning. The roaring claps of thunder were loud enough that the walls had begun to shake. The once rhythmic and soothing sound of rain, now a spray of bullets against the windows threatening to break in.
Now thunderstorms normally weren’t scary, but after a wicked nightmare, each boom of thunder resonated through your bones. The swaying of trees became the dancing of monsters, the curtains in the corner of the room became the distorted frames of foreign beings and the pile of discarded sheets became the mangled body of your mate.
The sight of his body made an image straight out of the nightmare. The figure from the dream began to infiltrate the room. Their bodies are wrongly proportioned, too long, too thin. The same killer from the dream, now surrounding you. The cries of your mate fill your head.
Nightmares were not a common occurrence, normally just sleeping beside Azriel warded them off. But now you are completely vulnerable to the cruel hands of your imagination. Distorted shapes and figures danced around you to the rhythm of the lightning strikes closing in with every brief flash of light. Stray hairs and small drafts became the breaths and ghosting touches of the monsters in the shadows. You started to choke on your breath.
It was if someone had sucked the oxygen from the room, leaving you in a vacuum of fear. All alone. Not alone. Your chest was tightening. You're suffocating. You’re in danger. Not alone. Not alone. You should be alone. Touching. Grabbing. Pulling. Someone is here. Someone is touching you.
Arms are snaking around your shoulders. You can barely breath. You can't breathe. There is a voice. Distorted and broken. There’s yelling. There pushing you down. You’re going to die. They're going to hurt you. You thrash in their hold. You can’t move. This is it. This is it. Help. Crying out for help. Gasping for air.
There is more movement on your left. Another figure moving swiftly. Another one. Your struggling increases. Warm hands meet your shoulder. They’re soft, a loving touch. No you didn’t want to die like this. You push harder. Your feels like it might just explode, and breathing through your nose is no longer possible. Vision even more distorted by the oncoming rivers of tears. You didn’t know you were crying.
You hear talking. Nothing makes sense. You cry harder. There is a pulse down the mate bond. You revel in the feeling of comfort given to you. The voice becomes less distorted. They’re calling you name. It is such a soft voice. You let your head lull and you look up to meet the face of your capture. Funny, they have the same eyes as your mate.
Someone pets your hair. You can breathe. Just a little. You’re choking, on air, saliva and tears. More soft touches. your head is no longer below water. You have broken the surface, the lights are on now. A soft glows encompasses the room, the monsters vanishing with the light. The hands around you cradling your quivering body are warm and comforting. You want to sleep now, you’re exhausted.
“You’re okay. Take a deep breath, you’re okay.” The voice is oddly familiar and you can't help but follow what it says. Taking a deep shuddering breath and coughing it back out. You’re chest aches but you follow when it says to take another one. Once again, twice , thrice, and the heaviness in your head begins to fade.
Your hands have wrapped around the forearms encasing you in a meager attempt to ground yourself. Your head is resting on a chest. The person holding you is sitting causing you to have to crane you head into a weird position to confirm their identity. You had a feeling it was your mate. His concerned gaze meets you spaced out on. Managing to focus for one second you send him a smile.
His shoulder relaxed and he pulls the pair of you into a lying position. Shifting you half way so that you’re tucked into his side. You lie on his chest now and his wings form a wall between you two and the confusion of the outer world. Your breaths are still jagged and you still cough a bit but you have mostly calmed down. You look up to your mate.
“Thank you.” The words are followed by a harsh set of coughs and he rubs you back until you stop and more. Patterns are tranced into the skin of your back in small shapes. It's soothing and you feel the steadying of your heart with every minute that it goes on.
“I felt you fear through the bond. I though-” he clears his throat, obviously disturbed by finding you in the state he did. “I thought you were hurt. I thought something had happened.” You relax, head onto his chest and inhale the scent of him. Relaxing further into him, yawning.
“I didn’t think you would come. How we left things and all.” His grip on you tightens and his eyebrows scrunched together. There is some other type of concern in his gaze this time. Did you doubt him?
“Why wouldn’t I come to your aid? You’re my mate and I love, we could not see each other for centuries and that still wouldn’t change.” His voice is low and the soothing rhythm of his hand falter for a moment. Taking the chance you entwine your finger with his. Pulling him closer to you, not that it was possible.
“Thank you. Thank you for everything.” He whispers a small “I love you.” and you murmur one back. Sleep had already begun to tug you back under. The comforting touch of your mate protecting you from the nightmare, most of which you had forgotten. Lips are pressed to your forehead just as you really began to go back under. The words are so quiet that you almost miss them through the haze of sleep, but you hear enough.
“I’ll always be here for you.” You smile in your sleep. Warm covers are wrapped around your bodies and you fall to the hands of sleep. The pair of you would sleep in the next morning causing Rhys and Cassian to come searching for you. They would find you in the same mess of sheets clinging desperately to each other.
You both could use a break to just spend time with each other. So they left the pair of you to sleep however long you needed to. It was about high noon when the pair of you stumbled into the kitchen the next morning. Both with unbelievable bed head due to your “making up” that occurred when the pair of you decided to wake up. The inner circle would tease you for months. It was worth it.
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Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Warnings: Drinking, Suggestive, and Mild Cursing.
YOU COULD FEEL his gaze on you as you danced. The inner-circle was, for the first time in eighty years, whole again and you had gone out to celebrate at Rita's. The alcohol in your veins was your undoing, and you knew if you were sober you would never be caught dead grinding against an equally drunk Mor. It was funny really, you could normally hold your liquor, but something about the eyes burning into the back of your neck made you quick to down the amber contents of your, and Rhys' glasses.
Swaying, you giggled as you felt a hand come to rest upon your shoulder pulling you away from the blonde female. An unfamiliar male stood there, and though he wasn't all that handsome, you allowed him to place his hands on your hips. You weren't stupid, you knew what he wanted -- and you honestly weren't opposed -- as the person you really wanted to be with, both physically and emotionally had been unavailable for the past five centuries.
Even as you danced, felt the male's hands start to drift, you couldn't help the instinctual desire your eyes felt to drift over to the one person you could never have.
Azriel was the most beautiful male you had ever laid your eyes on, you had thought so ever since you'd joined Rhysand’s court, but even back then it was painfully obvious he would never give you the time of day. At first, it had was only physical attraction, an obvious sexual tension that you could ignore because you saw how he looked at her, your best friend. However, as the years passed, and decades concluded, your feelings didn't fade as you thought they would, oh no, they evolved. It started when you found Azriel on the roof of the house of wind one summer night. He had been staring at his hands, in a trance that only broke when you delicately set a hand on his shoulder.
He didn't say anything to you, simply sat there until the sun rose before slipping away. You didn't know why, but you began joining him there every night afterward, simply sitting at his side, and that became routine. You never spoke, but there wasn't really a need to, as the silence between you never felt heavy. After some years, he made an offhand comment to Cassian about how you were his best friend, and while you knew it was only a jab meant to wound Cassian's ego, your heart swelled and deflated at the same time.
That was when you knew you were screwed. You knew that the only way to move on would be to tell him, and you desperately wanted to -- especially after Mor confessed to you why she could never love Azriel the way he wanted -- but you knew you would be rejected, and while you would heal, you weren't sure you wanted to. It hurt you to love him, but you loved him all the same, so nothing changed. Even as seasons came and went, and your elderly mother passed, you took solace in the fact that Azriel's friendship was a constant you could depend on, his friendship, nothing more.
It was as these thoughts flooded through your head that you began to feel repulsed at the feeling of the male's fingers creeping up the inside of the scant, black silk gown you wore, creeping closer and closer to your most intimate part as he pressed you into the wall. Reaching down and grasping his wrist, you forced his hand to retreat.
"Look I'm sorry, but I'm not feeling it tonight," You mumble, placing a hand on his chest to create some space between the two of you. The male scoffed, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into his chest.
"You know you want me," He cooed, a crooked grin spreading across his face. You shook your head, this time forcefully prying him off you and sending him stumbling back into the bar. You would have apologized, but this jerk clearly hadn't heard about consent.
"You bitch," He snarled, and you were sure he would have lunged at you if he hadn't looked behind you. A look of pure terror crosses his face, and if you weren't certain who had been watching you before, you absolutely knew now. A small smirk spread across your face, and it was then that you knew you were going to enjoy this.
Leaning forward, you took notice of the beads of sweat forming on his temple and the nervous bobbing of his Adam's apple as he attempted to swallow his anxiety. Stopping just short of his ear, you allowed your breath to brush it before speaking.
"I would run if I were you, love," You whispered, and the small smirk spread into a full out grin as he bolted for the doors of the popular nightclub. Cackling at his fleeing form, you took notice to the Illyrian approaching you from the rear.
"Did you see that, Az? He was terrified!" You snorted, turning to face your best friend. It wasn't all that uncommon for the inner circle to defend you from unsavory men, and you honestly felt a bit bad for him, as you were sending mixed signals, but that was no excuse for disregarding her lack of consent. Dismissing the thought, it was then you took note of the sour expression on Azriel's face.
"Hey, you okay-" You were cut off when he grabbed your wrist and began -- gently, but firmly -- leading you outside. The cold night air felt nice on your heated skin, but you were too focused on the clearly irritated Illyrian to enjoy it. You attempted to free yourself from his grip, but what usually would have been a simple task seemed to be too difficult in your inebriated state.
"Let go, Azriel! What's your problem, huh!" You hissed finally freeing yourself. You were by the Sidra now, and you were beginning to grow cold now. Azriel, who had been silent the entire time, finally spoke, but not after shucking of the suit jacked that Mor had coerced him into wearing to celebrate Rhy's return.
"He had his hands all over you," He muttered, causing you brows to rise. "Yes, and you stopped him from doing anything unsavory -- nothing happened -- so, why are you mad?"
Azriel shook his head, murmuring something even your fae hearing couldn't pick up.
"Nobody should be touching you like that except..." He trailed off, and it was then that you noticed the soft blush spreading across his cheeks. You knew what he was getting at, but you wanted to hear him say it.
"What did you say," You asked, attempting to keep the amusement at bay, as you knew he would never finish if he knew you were teasing him. Azriel seemed to pick up on it anyway, sending you a half-hearted glare, but he complied none the less.
"Nobody should be touching you like that except me," He clarified, and it was then that you burst out into laughter, causing his heart to sink. He turned to leave in an attempt to save himself some embarrassment, but you grabbed his wrist before he could.
"Sorry, Az. I'm not laughing at you I swear, I just -- never thought I'd see you jealous, of me of all people." Azriel's brows furrowed, causing your sorry attempt at stifling your laughter to fail.
"I like you too," You giggled, but your expression fell quickly. "Wait, what about, Mor? You've been pining after her for years-" His lips crashed into yours, and you immediately quieted. It seemed like the moment had lasted only a few seconds, but it must have been longer, as when the kiss broke, you were both panting.
"Mother," You gasp, and it was then that Azriel began laughing. Cauldron, you loved the sound, and it was then that you swore to make him laugh every single day because it was the most beautiful thing you'd ever heard.
"I care about Mor, but I care about you more. You've been with me since the beginning-" This time you were the one who had to cut him off with a kiss.
"As long as you're sure." Azriel nodded, and a grin spread across your face. "Lovely," You hum, quickly pressing a kiss to his lips, before darting off back towards Rita's.
"Then let's dance," You giggle.
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Read to Me
Request: “hi! do you take requests? if so could you maybe do a azriel x reader smut? so basically the reader is reading a smutty book and az comes and then they like recreate the scene? i’m sorry if it sounds stupid! this is my first time requesting something. if you don’t do requests that’s totally fine as well! have an amazing day!!”
Word Count: 1.6k
Warnings: smut, teasing, fingering, cunnilingus, breath play, degradation, dom!azriel
A/N: this is the first thing I’ve written since quarantine began, sorry if it sucks lol. Also thanks to my bestie theo for proofreading this
The week following Starfall was always a sluggish time for the inner circle. After spending many hectic weeks on planning and preparing the event, and then drinking themselves to oblivion and dancing until their feet felt as if they’d fall off, everyone needed a solid few days to recover and get back to their daily lives.
Which was exactly what you were doing.
You had opted to stay at the river house while everyone else fled to their private residences; Rhys and Feyre had gone to the cabin, Mor had gone to her Athelwood estate, Nesta and Cassian to the town house and Azriel up to the House of Wind.
Or so you’d thought.
You sat on the green velvet couch before the fireplace, covered in a plush blanket with a book Nesta had recommended to you in your hands, the fire’s crackling and dull roar paired with the engrossing novel had you in a sort of a trance. You were so fixated on the words that you didn’t realize Azriel had entered the living room until you heard a deep chuckle and a velvety voice ask “Good book?”.
You slammed the book shut and whirled around. Azriel was standing behind the couch, a smile dancing in his eyes as he attempted to keep his face solemn. You huffed and turned back around, adjusting the blanket over your lap and reaching to set the book on the coffee table.
“Yes actually.” You said, glancing back to find him smirking down at you. “What’s it about?” He asked. You had a sneaking suspicion that he already knew, but you indulged him, picking up the book and opening it. “It’s a tragic love story.”. He hummed, leaning down and peering over your shoulder, eyes scanning the lines. “Doesn’t seem too tragic to me.” He said jokingly. You glared down at the page. “I haven’t reached the tragic part yet.” you said flatly, he let out a breathy laugh and turned his head a bit, grazing his lips against the shell of your ear, “Read to me.”
You let out a shaky breath and murmured, “Where should I start?”. He studied the page for a moment before pointing to a line. You drew a heavy breath and began softly reading.
“He pushed her hair to the side and pressed soft kisses down the side of her neck.” You read while Azriel ran his finger tips from your shoulder to the nape of your neck and gathered your hair in his fist, gently pulling your head to the side, gaining access to your jaw and neck. He kissed along your jawline and down your neck before trailing his tongue back up to your jaw.
You shuddered and closed your eyes, forgetting entirely about the book in your hands until he pulled away from your jaw slightly and murmured “Did I say you could stop?” Your cheeks burned even as you felt wetness begin to pool between your legs at his words.
“She le—” he interrupted you by gripping your jaw between his thumb and forefinger “Answer my question, Y/N.”. “No you didn’t!” you exclaim, annoyed. He tightened his grip at your outburst, “Then why the hell did you stop?”. You tried to look away from him but his grip didn’t falter. “Answer me. Now.” he snapped. “I— I was distracted. You were distracting me!” at his glare, you hastily added “I’m sorry.”. You figured he was satisfied with your answer because he gestured to the book and mumbled “Go on.”.
You took a moment to compose yourself and continued “She let out a soft moan and tilted her head to the side, offering a larger expanse of her neck to him.” you tilted your head subconsciously as you read, “He smiled against the skin where her neck and shoulder met and sucked a love bite into her skin.” Azriel dropped his lips to that exact spot and sucked a deep purple mark into your skin, drawing a soft gasp from you.
“She let out another moan, louder this time and he pulled away from her neck to silence her with his lips.” Azriel again pulled away from your neck and walked around the couch, sitting on the coffee table before you, resting his forearms on his thighs. You lifted your head to meet his gaze, taking your bottom lip between your teeth as you waited in anticipation for his next move. His eyes were dark with lust and he licked his reddened lips and said “Keep reading.”.
You gulped and turned back to the book, you tried to keep your attention on the page but you found it incredibly difficult with him watching you like that.
“He ran the tip of his tongue along the seam of her lips and she parted them slightly.” Your eyes flitted to him and he raised his eyebrows, nodding his head to the book. You stumbled over the words as you read on, “His tongue dipped into her mouth and he deepened the k—.” You were cut off by Azriel ripping the book from your trembling hands and throwing it aside. His scarred hands cupped your face as he brought his lips to yours in a heated kiss.
You gripped his muscled shoulders as he kissed you slowly. Thoroughly. You moaned as he dropped his hands to the hem of your sweater, pushing it up and gripping your waist tightly and pulling you to sit at the edge of the couch. He pulled his lips from yours and grabbed the hem of your sweater, his eyes meeting yours in a silent question. You nodded he scowled, “Say it.” he muttered as he drew circles on your skin with the tips of his fingers and looked up. his eyes meeting yours. “Yes.” you breathed out.
Azriel tugged off your sweater, revealing your bare chest. He let out a soft “Fuck” as he admired the swell of your breasts. You arched your back a bit as he kissed the soft skin and sucked your nipple into his mouth and tugged it gently with his lips. A string of spit connected his mouth to your breast as he pulled away and you whimpered at the sight. Azriel leaned up and pressed his lips to yours again softly before murmuring into your mouth “Can I taste you, baby?”
You practically short-circuit at the question and nod furiously, fisting your hands in his silky black hair and kissing him hard. He moaned into the kiss as he knelt between your legs and squeezed your breasts, trailing hot, openmouthed kisses down your torso until he reached the band of your soft shorts.
You lifted your hips and he yanked them off, throwing them over his shoulder and placing his palm on your stomach, pushing you to lean back against the cushions. He hooked one of your legs over the arm of the couch and groaned as he took you in. He ran a finger along the inside of your thigh and pressed a kiss just above your clit. He very quickly grew impatient and used both hands to spread you before burying his face between your legs.
He feasted on you until you were on the cusp of your orgasm and then pulled away entirely, your eyes snapped open and a whine of protest left you. He laughed at the distraught look on your face and ran his hands up and down your sides. “Were you close, baby?” he asked mockingly. You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest, obscuring his view.
In response he wrapped his hands around your wrists and pulled your arms back to your sides, tutting in disapproval like a parent would to their misbehaving child. “How do you want me?” He asked, kissing your hip bone. “As you are.” You replied quickly. His eyebrows raised and he grinned. “Your wish is my command.”
Azriel dragged a few fingers up through your folds, gathering your wetness and his saliva and brought his fingers to your mouth. “Suck.” he commanded and you eagerly took his fingers in your mouth, tasting yourself on them. He adjusted himself with his free hand as he watched you and pulled his fingers out of your mouth a moment later. He brought his hand back down between your legs and circled your entrance with them a few times before plunging them inside you.
He barely let you adjust before slamming them into you. You cried out in a mix of shock and pleasure and he reached up with his other hand, wrapping his hand around your neck and squeezing gently. He continued like this until your hips were grinding desperately against his hand. “More.” you gasped out, pleasure building in the pit of your stomach, but not enough to finish.
He almost instantly attached his lips to your clit, sucking until you saw stars, his fingers still plunging into you at a steady pace. Breathless, you covered the hand resting on your throat with your own and squeezed, silently begging him to tighten his grip. He smiled against you and squeezed until your vision blurred and you whimpered his name hoarsely.
He looked up at you, maintaining eye contact with you as he curled his fingers upward and swirled his tongue around your clit. Black spots danced before your eyes as you came harder than you ever had. Your hips bucked as your entire body succumbed to the pleasure Azriel was giving you.
Tears streamed down your cheeks as you recovered and Azriel wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his lap. You hadn’t seen him get up, but you didn’t care as he stroked your hair and whispered reassurances and sweet nothings in your ear. He kissed your temple and pulled the discarded blanket over the both of you. "Sleep, Y/N." He whispered and lulled you into sweet, dreamless slumber.
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✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* azriel x reader
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ breakfast is a family affair
Azriel murmured, burrowing himself deeper into the soft skin of your back. "He's awake," Azriel chuckled, the breath hitting your spine causing you to shiver. A moment later, you heard the soft patter of footsteps until they stopped outside your door.
A chubby hand slips under your door, swiping at the air as Mathias attempts to peer under. You stifle your laughter. Whispering, despite his blatant attempts to wake you both, Mathias says, muffled from his face being pushed as close to the floor as it can get, “It’s Wednesday,”
“That is it,” Azriel whispered to you. His lips draw long your naked back, getting lower as he moved to stand. “I’m surprised he let us sleep in this long,” You chuckled. The clock along the wall read nine. “He’s been sitting in his room for an hour now. I suppose his patience wore thin,”
Azriel slips on pants, throwing you one of his shirts. He waits until you’ve thrown it over your head to open the door. “My little bat,” Azriel greets, picking up Mathias by his ankle. Mathias shrieks, laughing loudly when Azriel tosses him into his arms and blows on his stomach. His wings flap excitedly, “Mama help,” Azriel tosses him onto the bed, Mathias crawling over to you and burying his face into your shoulder, and wrapping his arms around you. His laughter dies down after a moment, the grin on his face reminiscent of Azriel.
He flops down on the pillows, rubbing his stomach dramatically. “I’m starving,” He whined, eyes clenched shut. Azriel raised a brow, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “So you weren’t sneaking fruit this morning?” Mathias froze completely, his whole body tense as he tried to conjure up a thought. “It wasn’t for me,” He shakes his head, “It was for your shadows. They need to eat too,” Inwardly, you winced at the thought of stepping in fruit or finding it only once it began to rot.
“I wouldn’t want my son to starve,” You brushed back his hair. “What you like to eat?” It was an unnecessary question. Each Wednesday, long before Mathias was born, you and Azriel spent each Wednesday making a family affair of breakfast. Back then, it had been spent with far fewer clothes and with both of you the main courses.
Incredulously, near offense, Mathias sits up, “It’s Wednesday,” Azriel chuckles, “Waffles, then?” Excitedly, Mathias nods his head. “Can I help?”
You kissed his temple, “Of course,”
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i want to be the villain in the “if villain, why sexy?” trope. is it to much to ask?
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Acknowledging the Bond
Azriel x reader
A/n: I’m sorry @dreamscourtgirl, I think this went a little out of what you wanted, but I hope you like it. If you want I can write another though.
Summary: Azriel refuses to acknowledge the bond, but gets jealous over Lucien and decides to confront you.
It had been years since you found out. You were mates, but you never talked about it and Azriel, as it seemed, refused to acknowledge the bond.
You’ve known Rhysand for centuries, had helped him during the war five hundred years ago, but you only joined the inner circle a few decades ago, since you were one of Thesan’s greatest healers he refused to let you go easily.
That was when you found out. As soon as Rhys brought you in the House of Wind and you locked eyes with the Shadowsinger you felt it. The bond had clicked for both of you, but none let it affect you, so nobody else knew.
You had never been happier.
That was some decades ago.
Nowadays you were completely lost. He never did as much as be polite with you. He kept his answers as short as possible and tried to spend less time as possible if you were in the room.
Cassian was the only one who knew, having found you crying in your room some years ago.
When you explained what was happening to him, not being able to keep it to yourself anymore, he had wanted to knock some sense into his brother with his own fists. But you told him that you wanted it to be kept a secret and that if Azriel didn’t want the bond you wouldn’t force him to accept it. So every time he noticed you were in a bad mood he would bring dinner to your room and eat with you, saving you from having to sit on a table with your mate avoiding to look at your face.
You got really close. And sometimes you thought you saw Azriel sneaking glances at you both when you sat next to him or on his lap, searching for comfort, or laughed throughout the night sharing stories from the past about Rhys and seeing him getting embarrassed in front of his mate.
But Cassian had someone, Nesta.
You were happy for him and loved Nesta, but got a bit annoyed when you needed someone to talk and he was with her.
So when Lucian was visiting one evening to see his mate you saw someone who you could rely on.
Even if he didn’t know who your mate was.
You would spend whole evenings talking when he visited for some hours.
You could see he was always in a bad mood after seeing Elain, but didn’t want to put your nose in his business, so you didn’t ask.
You were jealous of her. And didn’t cover it. She was gentle and graceful, and that infuriated you, because you didn’t want to hate her, but you did. She spent days in her gardens with your mate, and he didn’t do as much as say “Hi” to you in the corridor. And she wouldn’t even look Lucien in the eyes.
But one day, when you and Lucian were at a small restaurant having breakfast together, and he noticed you were down and your eyes had black marks under it, he asked what was the matter.
He held you while you cried, not caring about the looks that were driven your way.
You told everything, and he was the only one who could understand, since he too had the same troubles with his mate.
He promised you to visit more often and spend more time during his stays.
But what you liked about your friendship was that nobody knew about it. At least that was what you thought.
Because one day, after Lucian had left, back to the human lands, after spending the whole day at the city and night at Rita’s dancing, you got to your room still smiling to find a winged figure there.
Azriel was covered with his shadows, his wings slightly opened behind him, and his face scrunched with rage.
“What are you doing here?” You asked a bit worried.
He ignored your question completely. “Why do you spend so much time with him?”
“With who? Cassian?” You asked, since you thought nobody knew about your friendship with Lucian. “We -“
He interrupted you growling low. “Not him. Lucian.”
You were a bit surprised, but he was, in fact, the Spymaster of the court. “We are friends, that’s what friends do.” You said crossing your arms over your chest.
You were still wearing the dark blue dress that you went to Rita’s and Lucian’s scent lingered on it.
“I don’t like it.” He said, his fury covering his tone.
“Well, I don’t care. You don’t want to acknowledge the bond, I tried talking about it to you, but you didn’t even care to listen. So don’t think I will listen to your complaints now.” You walked to your closet and took your nightgown out to change.
You went to open the door to ask him to leave, but Azriel moved before you could register. In a blink he was holding your hand, stopping your movement to open the door. He held it and looked deep in your eyes when he whispered: “I’ve been wanting to accept the bond since the day we met”
His rage had long since left. He still had his brows furrowed, but in concern.
“What?” Was all you could manage out of your mouth, and it still sounded breathless.
“I - I’m sorry” he stuttered, his eyes soft as you tried to make sense of what was happening. “I shouldn’t have avoided you, but I thought that if I got too close I wouldn’t be able to step back again.” He said moving closer.
“B - but why?” You tried to sound strong, but your voice wasn’t above a whisper as the tears threatened to fall from your eyes.
“I don’t deserve you,” you could see his glassy eyes, trying not to cry too. “You are beautiful, smart, gentle, funny. You deserve more, not me. I’m a broken male, that doesn't want to drown you in my own problems.”
“No,” the tears falling on your cheeks now. “Don’t say that. We are mates,” he closed his eyes and you freed your hand from his grasp to hold his face. “We were made for each other. We deserve each other. Please don’t think you don’t deserve me.”
His cheeks got damp as his tears fell over my hands.
You knew Azriel didn’t give himself the thought he needed, so you would do it.
You used your thumbs to clear his face one last time before tracing them down his arms to hold his hands. As soon as you touched them he tried to get them behind his back, but your hold was thigh. He flinched at the view, but you didn’t care about it, so you pulled them up to your lips and kissed every single scar.
When you ended your ministrations and looked up at him he was astonished.
“They’re beautiful. You can think they aren’t and that they are only a visual memory of your hard past, but for me, they make me remember how strong you are, and how much you went through without falling apart.”
“But I did,” he whispered so low you almost didn’t hear. “I fell apart a long time ago.”
This broke your heart. He thought he wasn’t worth it, and you thought the opposite. “Then let me catch the pieces and put them together for you, please.”
He nodded, not knowing the words to express his thoughts and feelings.
You got even closer and pulled his head down to kiss his forehead and place it on your shoulder. Ignoring how his tears wetted your dress while you caressed his back with one hand and his hair with the other, his own circling your waist.
After some time you got apart without taking your hands from each other. “Do you really want to accept the bond?” You asked him a little frightened at his answer.
“Yes.” Was all he said, but the simple word held a handful of emotions.
“Let’s go downstairs then. I’ve got a meal to cook.”
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Hi, may I request cassian with a female who loves gardening and also his mate but she doesn know yet and owns a plants shop in velaris, he goes there pretending to know about plants -he made elain teach him- so that he can talk more to her and cass stumbles over his words as he tells her they’re mate and is surprised that she knows but was afraid to say and maybe end it with a kiss?
Thank you in advance 🦋
cassian x reader
— in which cassian is lured back to your gardening shop for only the mother knows why
Cassian had a problem. It seemed that he could not stay away from your little gardening shop tucked in the heart of the Rainbow, and he didn’t want to either.
See, he had stumbled into the small, glass doors—he was hiding from Azriel— of your shop one evening just as you were about to close, and from that night on he frequently came back. He couldn’t understand why he was constantly feeling the need to run back to you, Nesta was all he needed, right?
He hadn’t forgotten the look on your face when the Cassian, Lord of Bloodshed, nearly crashed through the door of your building, wings nearly hitting your face when he flared them for balance. You went pale immediately and your jaw dropped. He only smiled cheekily at you in response.
“Are..are you— do you need help?” you asked, broom tightly held in your hands.
His eyes roamed over your body, and he noticed the shift of balance between your feet as you did so. When he met your eyes again he said, “I’m just...hid—looking for some flowers for a friend of mine.”
“Oh,” you said, impossibly surprised at his needs. You would’ve never guessed that the general commander of the High Lord’s armies had time for flowers. “Follow me.”
You trudged along to the back and entered a room filled with all sorts of flowers—more than Cassian had ever seen at once. Now it was his turn for his jaw to drop as he looked around at the various colors. The room of flowers looked just like the rainbow did—the city in flower form.
“What kind and color would you like, General?”
From that day on, he couldn’t keep away.
He had gotten a recommendation from you, an assortment of dark blue flowers to give Azriel as a truce for their little issue a few nights ago. And every day since then he kept coming up with excuses to buy more flowers; the town house had more flowers everywhere—and everyone knew they definitely were not from Elain. Sure, he appeared suspicious to the inner circle but as long as he got to see you everyday, he didn’t mind.
Today was no different than the others: Cassian awoke early enough to arrive at your shop right on opening time.
He dressed as he usually does in his Illyrian leathers, fewer knives strapped on than usual so he wouldn’t scare you. He had leaned against the window of your store and stared up at the sky when you walked up.
“Good morning, General.” you chirped, waving a hand towards the door handle to unlock it.
Cassian scoffed at the nickname you had given him. “I told you to stop calling me that. Cassian is fine.”
“I like watching you grow peeved at the name,” you said blatantly, gesturing for him to follow you inside. “Your brows furrow and you pout.”
“I do not pout,” he hissed, poking at your shoulder.
You grinned and pressed a kiss to his cheek—a formality that had grown between the two of you. “Sure you do, General.”
You skipped away before he could retort, and he followed you like he always does when he visits.
“Which flowers are you pretending to buy today?”
“Mmmm. Those blue ones you told me to get the first day.”
“Those are my favorites!”
“Oh really? I didn’t notice.”
You rolled your eyes at the sarcasm laced in his words and swayed to the back of your shop, beckoning him to follow you in through the door.
The room was as oddly vibrant as it always was, different shades of blue, purple, and black dominated most of the room, but bits of yellow, red, orange, and pink shown through in between the night court colors.
You made a beeline for the table way in the back, one with a wooden box of what you called ‘Night Court Magnolias’.
“These?” you questioned, gesturing to the box.
“Those.” Cassian confirmed as he peered over your shoulder. He didn’t miss the little blush on your cheek from the closeness and he smirked when you cleared your throat and diverted your gaze.
With a flick of your wrist, the Magnolias were snipped at the stem and tied in a beautiful navy blue lace. You handed them to Cassian and he accepted gleefully.
“Thank you,” he beamed. He went to press a kiss to your cheek as a thank you but—
He felt it.
He felt that tug.
He was frozen, lips hovering over your cheek, processing that he had just felt the tug.
It seems that you had felt it too, as you had nearly stumbled backwards had it not been for the stealthy hand that Cassian shot around your waist.
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Hi can you please write about mating bond click into place for Azriel, but reader is oblivious, and the whole inner circle tries to set them up? Thank you <3
°。°。゜。°。 azriel x reader
✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ the inner circle setting up reader and az
of course, you found it odd that you always ended up alone with azriel
how the high lord would ask for your assistance with something only for you to arrive and find his spymaster
he hardly spoke to you at first
you took no offense. though, you wished he had. so, you tried, whittling away at his armor before it finally gave out
once your assignment was done, the meetings between you and azriel hadn’t stopped
morrigan would invite you to the small cafe. she would never show, claiming court trouble. the one waiting for you would be azriel
the same could be said with cassian. you know there had to have been someone holding the closet door shut!
feyre would be more discreet. she’d ask for you both to attend one of her classes. accidentally, she’d pair you to work with the younger kids. covered in paint, she’d refuse to let you leave without cleaning up
for the longest time, you couldn’t understand why
what was it about azriel that you felt drawn to him? that felt the need to be near him? why did his shadows curl around you like a second skin?
amren would be the one to tell
she hadn’t known it was meant to be a secret
by now, she’d seen you on several dates arranged by the others
“when will you accept the bond?” she asked. you only narrowed your eyes. “what bond?”
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Can you do Cassian as a mate head cannons? Thank you xxx
hi! i struggled a bit w/ cassian’s character, but i wanted to fulfil a request within a reasonable timeframe for once hehe! kept it a bit vague but added some story too. i hope you like it and thank you for requesting! x
headcanons: cassian as a mate (ACoTaR)
you were a surprise. when his scouts had called him to come investigate something odd, he had expected another strange yet concerning scene involving those wretched creatures slowly encroaching upon prythian. however, it was you who he’d found on the southern borders of the court, wide-eyed and shivering in some frost-lined cave. it was so ridiculously unbelievable that cassian barked an incredulous laugh in the silence that followed, unable to take his eyes from you. there was nothing funny about it, however - you had found yourself in a place where no human should be.
he didn’t know what to do with you - he hadn’t met many humans outside the archeron family. even so, you seemed different: wilder, perhaps even savage. the way you were looking at him made him uneasy: with reverential fear, with awe, with unabashed curiosity. how ironic - he was usually the one to intimidate, not the other way around. cassian couldn’t get anything out of you - all you did was stare, either ignoring or not comprehending his questions. he was considering sending someone for feyre, but it was then when you reached out a hand to him. something about the scene - you on your knees, looking so weathered yet such… hope in your eyes - clutched at his heart, and so he grasped your dirty, shaking, ice-cold hand, not knowing for quite some time the true importance of the moment.
your presence elicit conflict within the inner circle; there had been hot and loud debate on whether to send you back, especially after nesta had identified you as one of those rotten children of the blessed. a group of misguided humans, thinking fae akin to gods. upon learning that, cassian could now make sense of your strange behaviour. it made him uncomfortable, to say the least - his life was of no more or less value than yours, yet he knew there were some fae out there who would take advantage of the power imbalance. when he turned to look back at you, he found you already staring, and he’d never forget the first words out of your mouth: “please, don’t do that. i’ve come a long way. something told me i’d find safety here.”
eventually you were granted refuge at the house of wind. you were quiet about your past, becoming reserved and offering nothing but vague responses to the inner circle’s questions. at first cassian had suspected mistrust, but he soon came to realise that you couldn’t offer any information because perhaps you weren’t able to confront it yet. you seemed to have latched onto him, often keeping him company when he was at the house - something that became more frequent over time. your curiosity was loud and genuine, bombarding him with all kinds of questions ranging from thoughtful to inane. sometimes it was annoying, but sometimes it was endearing, too.
when he finally found out about the mating bond, there was no elation, no relief. cassian had been so sure that nesta was the one, felt it in his bones despite the conflict which always plagued their relationship. and yet, to have a human mate… it was a special kind of sweet sorrow. he finally broke down in azriel’s arms one night, unable to bear it any longer. “this wasn’t supposed to happen,” cassian had croaked, knowing the chances were near impossible. the thing that fate had given him, had intended to be his life-long constant, was doomed to only be a fleeting thing. azriel had held him, quiet and thoughtful as always, pulling him back from the edge with his words: that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
the realisation had made him want to become distant - just the thought of you brought heartache. he had hoped that if he kept to the training decks and avoided the inner house, the others’ presence would keep you at bay. within days, however, you had walked right through the milieu of clashing swords and moving bodies, grasping his shoulder and saying: “you finally know.” cassian would never admit it aloud, but your severity frightened him, and your prior knowledge shamed him. he searched your eyes and found that he couldn’t ignore this. he didn’t have the luxury of it, which he had thought he’d have with nesta. there would be no miraculous transformations this time.
it took time - limited, precious time - but cassian did fall in love with you, bit by bit. at unexpected moments, you’d reveal a tidbit about your journey across prythian, and he’d gently coax some elaboration. first came all the wonders you’d witnessed: the bright landscapes, the creatures, the flowers. sometimes you’d touch upon the dangers, and your sheer constitution never failed to impress him - he even became proud of you. the most mesmerising was your faith: it was the mating bond which had guided you here, something which you never should have noticed in the first place as a human. it humbled him, to know that you risked everything to make it here. “thank you,” he once said to you in a quieter moment. “you came all this way to find me. thank you.”
while he was somewhat relieved by the fact you had gained both weight and colour since your arrival, cassian found it hard to overlook the many dangers a fae court posed to a human. velaris was safer than most - if not all - cities, but who knows which illnesses could befall a human and spare a fae. he couldn’t help but worry when you were out alone, or when even a seemingly normal cold kept you down for a few days. during those periods, he’d stay at your side despite your - and the healers’ - reassurances, loathe to give up even a single minute. you two had already lost so much time; oh, how he had wished he had found you earlier. you’d hold his hand, comforting him rather than him comforting you. “i promise i’ll be alright,” you’d murmur, carding your fingers through his hair. he’d find comfort in your soft breaths, in your warm skin.
rhys had eventually caught on, and urged cassian to live in the moment. “you’re grieving her before she’s gone,” rhys had said, a sad and understanding smile on his face. “she deserves your utmost attention instead.”
one night he watched you closely as you sat on his lap, tracing the faded scars on his wings. you hadn’t yet asked, and quite frankly, cassian wasn’t going to bring it up unprompted. your touch was soothing, however, light and loving. “i’ve got scars there, too,” you murmured, making cassian frown and grip your hips. he shifted until he could catch your eye.
“on your back?” he clarified, taking care to be mindful. you nodded, slowly shrugging off the nightclothes. it was unconventional, the way you showed him - coming close and hugging him tight, letting him see the long, raised lines on your back as he looked over your shoulder. the sound he’d made was involuntary - a mix between a growl and a gasp. he pulled you even tighter against him, big and gentle hands caressing your back. again he was reminded of human fragility, but also human strength. your strength. you nosed along his neck, pressing a kiss there to reassure him that you were fine.
cassian made a vow then, cupping the side of your face. his voice was not as solid as usual, but the same conviction was still there. “i’m just a man, my heart. i’m not as powerful as you think me to be, or as noble. mother above, i’m bastard born. i don’t deserve half the praise you afford me. but i do love you, with every fibre of my being. i promise you’re safe here, and you’re safe with me. i love you so much, now and--” he faltered, shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. “i’ll always love you.”
all you did was smile and nod, giving him a sweet kiss. it took effort to not break down with all the worries that crowded his heart, but cassian forced a deep breath and kissed you again, and again, and again. you had become so very important to him so very quickly that sometimes it felt like whiplash, but you were worth it all.
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azriel (acotar) x reader
warnings: mentions of blood, depression
word count: 1809
Sunlight filtered through the curtains of your room and the sound of birds humming filled the room. Groggily, you opened your eyes, surveying the scene. The left side of your bed was cold and empty. Azriel must have had to head up to Windhaven earlier this morning.
Glancing to the window, you saw it was half way open. Azriel’s small gestures never failed to make you smile. He knew you loved the smell of the breeze and the fresh air. It was refreshing. A moment of peace.But recently, it got harder and harder to smile. You put on a front to alleviate suspicion. The last thing you wanted was the inner circle being worried about your problems while they were dealing with other threats.
Swinging your legs over the bed, you felt the cool breeze against them. You made your way to the bathroom, getting ready for the day. You splashed cold water onto your face to try and wake yourself up. You looked in the mirror and saw a stranger staring back. Your disgust and hatred surfaced as your grip tightened on the edge of the bathroom counter. Why were you feeling this way? You wished you could go back to normal, to the happy carefree person you were months ago. That person was nowhere to be seen and you were stuck like this, stuck in your head and your thoughts.
Azriel must have sensed something was bothering you because he brushed your mind through the bond, sending a questioning thought . You quickly played it off sending your false happiness down the bond. When you usually had your thoughts, you made sure to cut the bond off, but not for too long because Azriel would get worried otherwise.
You kept these thoughts to yourself and didn’t let anyone see them. You felt guilty for feeling like this. You should be happy, not sad. You shouldn’t loathe yourself, you had people who loved you. But your self doubt and hatred never left you alone and you didn’t want to share this burden with Az, who has already been through so much. So you kept it bottled up and to yourself, only ever letting them surface in the dark when there was nobody but you and your demons.
The swift knock on your door pulled you out of your thoughts. You shoved the feelings down and plastered on a smile.
“Come in! The door is unlocked”
“Hey y/n! I just wanted to let you know that Rhys and Feyre planned a dinner party at the House of Wind tonight!” Mor said
“Oh? That sounds quite last minute” you chuckled
“Yeah, something about diplomacy and putting on a strong front? I wasn’t paying too much attention. Anyway, I need a new dress for the occasion and was wondering if you wanted to come with me to the Rainbow later?”
“That sounds so lovely, but I have to run a few errands,” you lied. Your energy had seemed to have left you and you were barely keeping your front up. “You’re gonna look gorgeous in whichever dress you get” you quickly added, giving her a tight lipped smile.
Mor could sense that you weren’t yourself. “Are you feeling ok y/n? You sound a bit- off?”
“Oh yeah of course! I’m just a bit tired. I think I’m going to head down and grab a cup of coffee. You know I love my coffee.” you gave her a slight chuckle.
“Well, if you’re heading down, I’ll just come with you. I need to head out and pick up a few more things for the party anyway.”
You gave her another smile, closing the door to your room as you followed her down the stairs
Today was one of your bad days. Nothing you did could get your mind off the thoughts that haunted you. Normally, you were able to distract yourself, at least for a few hours, but today you could not evade them. They were the predator and you were their prey.
The inner circle was still in Windhaven. They were probably dealing with Devlon’s excuses as to why the females weren’t training. You knew they would be getting back soon though, since the party was soon.
Making your way back into the kitchen, you pulled out a kettle and filled it with water. Putting it on the stove and letting it boil, you grabbed a tall mug and some of your favorite tea powder. The kettle whistled and you poured the water into your mug. The first sip was comforting, the warmth spreading through your body. You closed your eyes and sighed, basking in the few moments of peace you had.
The wind whistled and you heard a series of thumps on the balcony. Opening your eyes, you saw that Azriel and the others had returned. Anger was painted over his face, but it vanished as soon as he saw you. He made his way over to you, giving you a quick peck on the lips. You breathed in his scent, the wind and the pine giving you a sense of comfort.
“So how did your check up with Devlon go?” you asked
Cassian let out a loud huff before anyone could respond
“Not well, I take it?”
“He keeps giving more chores to the females to keep them out of the training ring. I wanted to break his hand right there.” Azriel answered
“Oh Az, don’t worry, next time Devlon pulls shit like that, I give you and Cassian free reign to do whatever you want with him.” Rhys grinned out
“Oh mother I like the sound of that. God knows he needs to be put in his place.” Cassian sighed
“Devlon aside, are you guys ready for the party?” Feyre asked
“Fuck yeah, I’m in desperate need of booze” Cassian yelled out, causing all of you to laugh
“It sounds like fun, but I haven’t been feeling too well, so I think i’ll just stay home tonight.” you murmured
Azriel immediately put his attention on you. “Are you ok love? Do I need to call Madja?”.
“No no, don’t worry about me, I think I just need a little rest. You go to the party and have fun though. For me.” You knew that was the only way you would get him to go.
He opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off.
“Az, darling, i’ll be fine”
He relented. “Fine. But if I sense anything is off, I’m coming home immediately.”
The other left to the House of Wind and you were finally left alone again. You wrapped yourself up in a blanket and lied down on your bed, drifting off.
A few hours later you woke up. Groaning, you made your way over to the bathroom. Gripping the counter, you stared at yourself in the mirror. You felt angry and disgusted. Your hand curled into a fist and before you could process what you were doing, the mirror shattered. You could feel the cuts on your hand, but the pain was the last thing on your mind.
Dropping your front, your thoughts and feelings flooded back into you. You felt the numbness washing over you as your feelings hounded you, ripping into you. You were so tired. You didn’t want to feel like this anymore. Why did you deserve anything?
Your self deprecating thoughts kept slamming into you.
You weren’t pretty enough. Azriel deserved better. He was only with you out of pity. He didn’t really love you. How could he ever love someone like you.
Finally the dam broke and your tears started flowing. Backing up to the wall, you slowly slid down, hugging your body, your sobs never ending.
What you hadn’t realized was for a split second, your hold on the bond had faltered, and all your emotions and pain had slammed into Azriel. He almost lost his footing, clutching his heart and holding onto Cassian to keep him from falling over.
“Az? Azriel, what's wrong?” Cassian shouted
“I-, I need to go home. Don’t worry, I’m fine. I just need to check on y/n.”
Cassian didn’t have time to say anything else before Azriel disappeared into the shadows.
“Y/n? Y/n! Darling, where are you?” Azriel shouted as he got home
Rushing into your shared room, he heard your sobs and made his way to the bathroom. His heart clenched when he saw you. He immediately crouched down next to you, gently picking up your body and leaning it against his.
“A- Az?” You hiccuped out, tears blurring your vision “Wha- What are you doing here? I thought I closed the bond”. Another sob left your body.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispered into your hair, afraid you might break if his voice was any louder. “I could’ve helped you through this.”. One of his hands was wrapped around your bloodied one and the other one was gently rubbing your back.
“Why?” You spoke so softly that Azriel thought he imagined it.
“You deserve-” You took a deep breath to try and slow your tears, “You deserve so much more than me. Someone better than me. I’m nothing- I’m worthless. I’m not pretty enough or graceful enough. You should be with someone like Elain or Gwyn. Someone who is worthy of you. Someone who deserves your love”.
“That’s not your choice to make darling. I get to choose who I love, and I love you”
“I’m not worthy of your love” you whispered. “You shouldn’t be with someone like me. You shouldn’t have to deal with all my problems and insecurities. You should be with someone who doesn’t hate everything about themselves. You already deal with so much, you shouldn’t have this burden on you too.”. Tears burned the back of your throat.
“I’m no stranger to self-deprecation” Azriel laughed soundlessly “You’ve helped me through so many low points, it’s only fair i help you through yours. It’s what mates do. It what i’ll do, because I love you.”
“You shouldn’t” you cracked out
“I love you. I love you. I love you.” he whispered into your hair, pulling you closer to his chest. “Don’t shut me out. Please.”
At the sound of those words, you opened the bond and let Azriel see everything. You bore your soul to him and laid everything bare. You sobbed harder into his chest as he held you, sitting in the silence.
After you started feeling a bit better, Azriel lifted you up and placed you on the counter so he could clean your hand and wrap it in gauze. He quickly got changed and led the two of you to your bed.
“Did- Did you mean it?” you whispered out,
“Every word my love. Every single word.”
Pulling you close, he whispered sweet nothings till you drifted off.
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Do you ever just want to curl up next to your comfort character and just cry into their arms? Or is that too depressing?
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｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ cassian x reader x azriel
.・゜-: ✧ :- cassian wants a baby. sm//ut
You couldn't recall how long you've been here. It could be hours. Days. Years. You could spend the rest of your life here and you wouldn't mind. Not as long as you were theirs.
"You'd like that, wouldn't you? Az and I fucking you until you're with child? Fuck, I want nothing more than to watch as you swell, tits get heavy and filled with milk. As you become a desperate little whore for Az and I. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Az and I filling you to the brim with us?"
You couldn't reply as Azriel fucked your mouth, the choked sounds as he pounded without forgiveness the only response you gave. That and your trembling walls, tightening around him. "And what would you say, Az?"
Cassian fists your hair, jerking your mouth away from Azriel. Azriel lets out a hiss, fingers curling around the air of the table. With a hard thrust, let out a whimper. Cassian's thrusts slowed, the pause had you grinding back against him. The heat in your belly, the one that neither started nor ended in your cunt, throbbed with need.
During his pause, Cassian waits to see if you need a break. If you need his relentless neverending pace to let up. You shook your head, Cassian's rhythm where he left off.
You were certain you'd have purple bruises on your hips. You knew Azriel would take great care in rubbing a salve on them, in kissing away the soreness after he presses into the fresh intensity of them, reveling in the jerk of your body and the sounds that came from you.
"What?" Azriel demanded. His hips buck against the empty air, the arm pinned high on your back grasping a handful of Cassian's thick arm. You look up at Azriel. "Would you like to see our dearest Y/n with your child? My child? They're fucking marvelous as it is, of course, but Cauldron, I don't think I'd be able to keep my hands off them,"
Azriel heaved, cock straining harder if possible. Cassian released your hair, Azriel taking back his place. You gagged around him. He buried himself to the hilt, resting against the back of your throat. Cassian cursed at the sight. At how well you took them both.
Azriel waited until you adjusted to his size — until you were no longer fighting for lovely oxygen — before his pace slowed. "I think she'll have to earn it," Their conversation — as casual as it would be if they were asking about fucking flowers or the weather — only continued.
Azriel's cock left you thoroughly gagged, unable to offer input of any kind. It drove you insane. Your nails dug into Cassian's wrist. "I think they're doing pretty well now, wouldn't you say? Do you remember there was a time she could hardly take one of us? Now, look at her. A wonderful whore,"
You moaned. The sound was only drowned out by Azriel's pace quickening again. Cassian smacked your ass, the color now tinted with pale pink.
Hot spurts of cum shot down your throat, the salty taste of Azriel filling your mouth. You swallowed. Azriel pulled out, crouching down to kiss the top of your head. He smoothed his scarred fingers through your hair, brushing it out of your eyes. You panted, only able to focus on the pressure Cassian was putting on your clit. The pressure building in your core.
"You're doing so wonderfully, aren't you, Y/n?" He waited until you nodded, kissing you gently. If he could taste himself on your mouth, he made no show of it.
You were so sensitive to the world around you. You could feel each vein on Cassian's cock, each touch Azriel left on you as his hand moved down, pinching a nipple and rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. His other hand gently tilted your head to the side, leaving marks in the wake of his mouth as he branded you as his own.
You clamped down around Cassian, crying when you came. Tired, body exhausted, and covered in sweat and fluids from the previous rounds they'd already put your body through. Cassian kept his pace, his hips hitting the back of you as he didn't ease up his touch on your clit.
"Azriel, Azriel, Azriel, Cassian, Cassian, Az, Cass, please—" Their names blurred together, muddled as you begged as another release built within you. Cassian came with a shout, leaning over you and kissing the back of your neck.
You clenched your jaw, nearly bursting into tears when he pulled out of you, entirely empty for the first time in hours. Azriel was already hard again, his gentle murmurings falling onto deaf ears when he stood again, taking Cassian's place.
"We should," Azriel says, all pretense from before was gone. "Fuck her until she can't walk. Until she can't think of anything other than how full of our seed she is,"
Cassian chuckles, tilting your head up, "I think she's nearly there," Your eyes rolled back when Azriel pushed himself into you. Your walls quivered, tightening down onto his large girth.
"What would you like, doll?" Cassian's hazel eyes darkened. "Do you want our baby? Do you want the frenzy that comes with it? You can hardly keep your hands off us now. You'll be insatiable. Do you want that?"
Your cries as Azriel fucked you answered enough.
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━━━ cassian x fem!reader
✩‧₊˚.༄ meeting cassian and being mates would include...
✧˖*࿐ warnings: breif mentions of starving oneself, depictions of violence.
- You met Cassian on the worst day of your life.
↳ Life as an Illyrian female was hard; not only were you seen as inferior to your male counterparts, you also were forced to undergo a procedure that would forever cripple you - strip you of the thing you loved the most, your ability to fly. For years you had starved yourself and taken remedies that were beyond dangerous to the body in order to prevent yourself from bleeding for the first time - to delay the inevitable. For when you flew, you soared - when you were in the skies, you were free. And you would do anything to stop the males from clipping you, from taking such a blessing away. But alas, the day you had been dreading finally came when you turned seventeen, and just like you knew they would, your father and a small group of males came to get you. You tried to flee, of course, and made it further than most. You ran across the uneven ground - the cold wind biting your cheeks - and managed to fly a few feet into the air before you were tackled back down to the floor. They pinned you to the ground, covering you in mud, all whilst you struggled and fought like your life depended on it - because it did. However, your actions were futile - what use was one, sickly girl against a team of five fully grown males? They made the incisions, stole from you the one thing you had cherished and prized since birth, leaving your wings forever ruined - burdening you with the weight of all that what once was, and that will never be again. But knowing what you had lost did not break you - not right away. It ignited a fire within you, made you burn with such rage that even the devil would cower with fear. And so you attacked. As the males turned their backs to you, you got up and, against all odds, fought like you never knew you could. You clawed at them, bit them, kicked them - did anything and everything you could possibly think of to harm them. A pair of arms soon wrapped around your waist and pulled you off of one of the males (who was now missing an eye), and even when you struggled against them too, they did not let go. Their arms stayed around you until you crumpled to the floor, choking on your sobs as the reality of the situation settled upon you. You were faintly aware of them talking to two other people, but as distraught as you were, you could not make out who, and soon, they left. After what felt like an eternity, you turned to look up at the person who had held you - comforted you - in the worst moments of your life so far. Cassian. It was Cassian. He was but a year older than you, still in the years of his youth at the time. You had seen him around the camp a number of times, but never had you spoken to him before. However, on this day, a companionship was born, one that would last a lifetime.
- Cassian started training you how to fight.
↳ This was something that had to be done in secret, of course; if anyone found out what the pair of you were doing, you’d both be punished for it. Cassian could see that there was potential in you - you’d severely injured an adult group of males after experiencing the most traumatic event for any Illyrian, and to do such a thing would take strength unlike anything Cassian could possibly imagine. You two would meet up in the dead of night and he would train you relentlessly until a few hours before dawn. He was constantly pushing you, testing your limits, but he knew when enough was enough. This went on for years, and during this time, you made more progress than Cassian could’ve ever hoped for. Now, he struggled to beat you in a fight; You knew his tells, his favourite places to strike and how he would do so, and he knew the same about you. Equals - you became equals.
- The mating bond clicked in place when Cassian returned from the War.
↳ As a female, you were forbidden to fight in the War yourself, no matter how skilled in combat you had become. In the years leading up to it, you and Cassian had become exceptionally close. He was perhaps the only person in the entire camp that you trusted; you could read him perfectly, were an equal match in teasing - he told you about his life and you told him about yours. You knew him inside and out, and he knew you just the same. So when it was time for Cassian to leave for the War - one which he may never return from - and you were forced to remain at the camp, it was devastating. Right before he had to leave, he held you in his arms and hugged you tightly, as though it would be the last time he ever saw you. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head and left without a word. The next seven years were torture. All you could think about was, What if he’s dead? What if he doesn’t come back? Will they tell me? How will I know? You could barely focus on anything. You had finally found the person who truly understood you and now he might be ripped away from you. But fortunately for you, fate was on your side. Cassian returned from the War, and the moment you saw each other again - for the first time in nearly a decade - you both felt the bond snap into place. You half-ran towards him, and Cassian ran to meet you. When you collided in the middle, Cassian picked you up and spun you around, holding you close to him. Your hands cupped his face, and all you could say was, “You’re alive, you’re alive. Thank the Cauldron, you’re alive.” Cassian smiled and said, “I’m here, and I’m never leaving you again.” He kissed you, and in that moment, you knew for the first time what it was like to love and to be loved, wholeheartedly and unconditionally.
- Living in Velaris with Cassian and becoming a part of the Inner Circle.
- Being slightly cautious around Rhysand and Azriel to begin with.
↳ This was to be expected, in all honesty. After what you went through all those years ago - having your wings clipped and being stripped of the thing you loved above all else - you found yourself rather wary of Illyrian males. However, with time you found that they were entirely different from those you knew at camp. Az became your silent companion - you both enjoyed the quiet, and so you would often seek him out and spend hours together doing individual tasks in peace. You would sit and carve small wooden sculptures as he filed reports about the missions he had been on, finding yourselves enveloped in comfortable silence. As for Rhysand, you and he got along like brother and sister. You quickly became a confidant of his, someone he could trust to give good advice in all matters.
- Cassian taking you flying over Velaris.
↳ When your wings were clipped, you didn’t think you’d ever soar through the skies again; not a day went by where you didn’t think about what you had lost. Thus, the first time Cassian offered to carry you as he flew above Velaris, you wept with joy. You screamed with delight as the pair of you glided through the air with not a care in the world. Cassian treasured the sound of your laugh, mesmerised by your smile that was bright enough to light up the whole of Prythian. After that, it became a common occurrence for Cassian to take you flying with him, and for that, you are eternally grateful.
- Lots of passionate kisses.
↳ Cass doesn’t do anything halfway, and physical affection is not exempt from that rule. When he kisses you, the air leaves your lungs and you’re left blushing all over. Cassian puts all of his love for you into his kisses, which often leads to something far less innocent and certainly more pleasurable.
- Saying ‘I love you’ all of the time.
↳ Even if he’s just leaving the room, Cassian will kiss your forehead and say, “I love you,” before he goes. He’ll say it when you’re sitting on his lap reading a book, when you’re just about to drift off to sleep - any time, any place, anywhere. His love for you is infinite, and he likes you to know that and be reminded of it constantly. And when you say it back, Cass’ eyes light up with joy.
- Bathing together a lot.
↳ It’s sort of become tradition at this point for you to have a bath together at least once a week. You’ll have candles placed perfectly all over the bathroom and have the most beautifully scented soaps. It starts with Cassian standing outside of the tub behind you, washing your hair and perhaps even giving you a massage as well. He’ll trace your wings with a feather-light touch (sometimes he’ll touch that spot, but only if you’re both in the mood) and softly press kisses down the back of your neck. Sometimes, the roles will reverse and you’ll end up being the one to pamper him, but more often than not, Cassian insists that it’s you who needs relaxing.
- Playing with each other’s hair.
↳ Playing with Cassian’s hair is your guilty pleasure. You’ll place his head in your lap and just start running your fingers through the strands, amazed at how soft it is. You’re the only person he’ll allow to braid it, and Mother above when he puts it into a man bun your insides explode. If you’re stressed about something, Cassian will just pull you into his arms and start playing with your hair because he knows that it calms you down.
- Smiling into kisses.
- Whispering sweet nothings to you as you fall asleep.
↳ Cass’ soothing voice telling you how much he loves you, how wonderful and beautiful you are, is often the last thing you hear before you fall asleep.
- Him giving you the best advice.
↳ You never knew Cassian was so wise, and honestly, you weren’t expecting it either. But as someone who also feels his emotions very strongly, he knows what it’s like to be overcome by them - by the rage and the grief; he understands. Because of that, he’s able to help you cope during the moments when you become overwhelmed by everything. He’ll help you control your anger - turn it into a weapon to be used against your enemies instead of yourself; he’ll banish the sorrow of your losses by reminding you of all the magnificent things that are out in the world that you have yet to experience, a thousand memories yet to be made. Cassian is the only person who you find you can truly relate to when it comes to emotions, and thus, his advice is always the best.
- Constantly teasing and (playfully) taunting each other.
- Making each other laugh so hard your insides hurt and you can barely breathe.
- Lots of cuddles.
↳ Cassian will just flop down onto the couch or the bed and pull you by the waist down on top of him. His fingers will trace patterns over your stomach as his wings surround the both of you, cocooning you in warmth and darkness. Your legs will entwine with his and he’ll press kisses all over your body.
- Cassian tickling you all the time as soon as he finds out how sensitive you are to it.
- Training the Illyrian girls how to fight with him.
- Cassian blushing the first time you call him beautiful.
↳ As soon as the words left your mouth, he just froze and gaped for a moment, a soft blush rising to his cheeks. After a moment, he recovered and of course tried to play it off by saying, “You’re only just noticing this now?” But you know how much he actually loves being complimented by you.
- (If you want kids) Cass laughing and tearing up with joy when he finds out you’re pregnant.
- Him being the most supportive dad any child could ask for.
- Spending the rest of your lives together, and loving each other more and more with every passing day.
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