#actual consequences for that. it sucks that fear is such a strong motivator for me and nothing else compares

[foegold]

Making sleep schedule mistakes once more

#it really does high key suck that in the last few years the only way i could #relatively consistently get myself out of bed early was by being terrified of the consequences #of being late for classes or work. more scared of missing work than classes bc there would have been like. #actual consequences for that. it sucks that fear is such a strong motivator for me and nothing else compares #now im stuck going to bed late because i slept in late because i went to bed late because i slept in late becau-

[tuesdayintheservantshall]

Jimmy has no right to *that* hostile (ie downright homophobic). He already almost threw Thomas out onto the street without a reference; if anyone has a right to be scared it’s Thomas; he’s now aware everyone knows he’s gay and he knows at least one or two of those people(one of them being jimmy) would happily throw him under the bus given the chance. He’s literally never been so vulnerable and there’s no need for jimmy to rub it in

Hey Nonny you’re my first official fandom argument! Or you were when I first drafted this over a week ago lol. Since then I've waded into some drama bc I have poor impulse control. Well you're my first argumentative anon still! Do I get a prize, or do you? Have an, um apple of discord: 🍏And I will have one too: 🍏 (Intended tone: genuinely friendly, although if you are not already aware you should know that in fandom spaces messages like these are generally considered hostile acts. Most people don’t want to argue with strangers about why their faves suck, and especially not in response to tags they made about their overwhelmed shippy feelings. (Although I guess if hypothetically you’re the OP of the post I put the tags on and weren’t comfortable with them being on your post that’s admittedly a tough place to be in. Coming to me with your face on and asking me to remove my reblog or the tags because you’re not comfortable with them runs the risk of me being an asshole or taking something in your phrasing badly and starting a big fight. Uh, the chances of that seem rather remote so I’m gonna leave the tags where they are unless OP comes to me and says “I hadn’t wanted to say anything but actually -”.) Anyway I’m not gonna derail this into a long(er than it is) ramble on preferred ways to discuss disagreements in fandom but I might post something like that at a later date.)

God I use way too many parentheses. Apologies to any with a blacklist for Jimmy (do I still have any of those? not sure), obviously I don’t want to put this in the tags. I shall tag this and any further discourse on the subject with “the storyline that shall not be named”. Let’s get (finally) to it!

So, the first thing I wanna say is: yes, Jimmy makes homophobic comments and that’s bad, both because Thomas being gay is not the reason he assaulted Jimmy and because there’s hypothetically a chance someone who doesn’t already know might figure out Thomas’s sexuality based on Jimmy’s comment(s? There's the one before the rope tug and then I could have sworn there was one other one but I'm blanking on what it actually was.)However a) the moment I was commenting on wasn’t one of the homophobic comments and b) I find it important to distinguish between the specific manner of hostility (sometimes homophobic) and the level of hostility (nasty remarks and making a constant point of distancing himself) and the level is in fact 100% warranted. If you think nasty remarks and pointed distancing are more hostile than a person has a right to be towards the guy who sexually assaulted them, then we have a pretty profound disagreement.

As for your other point, regarding fear: Thomas and Jimmy both have very compelling reasons to be afraid of each other but I have to ask exactly what you think Jimmy is “rubbing in?” He initially tried to retaliate excessively against Thomas, backed down from that, and then discovered that instead of facing a reasonable consequence for assaulting him, such as being fired but with a reference that reflected the fact that this was one very bad mistake rather than a pattern*, Thomas was promoted to a position of direct authority over Jimmy. Although Jimmy was bribed into not making a fuss about this rather than, say, threatened, I think he has nonetheless been given a fairly clear message from his employers that they will back the senior coworker who assaulted him against any potential consequence he might try to bring. From Jimmy’s point of view, which is admittedly blinkered by fear and self interest, Thomas is the one in the secure, powerful position and Jimmy is the one extremely vulnerable.

I don't even just mean from his point of view like, ~emotionally. Genuine question: what would happen if Thomas started being overly touchy-feely again, or did worse than that, and Jimmy went to Mr. Carson or Mrs. Hughes or Lord Grantham to report it? I really don't know, and neither does Jimmy. Personally, I'm guessing that whether they believed him would probably depend significantly on things like Jimmy’s demeanor, and exactly what words he used, and basically whether he came across as a victim or as a brat trying to get someone in trouble. And which of those things a person seems like has no particular correlation to the facts of what they’re reporting - as we can see from what happened the first time! Like, Jimmy came off as spiteful and nasty and instead of being fired Thomas was promoted. That is actually what happened! The fact that Jimmy's motives were mixed doesn't change the fact of what Thomas did: Jimmy, when evaluating his safety, has access to one really strong datapoint and that’s that last time the majority of his superiors came down on Thomas’s side, either from the beginning or by the end.

Now, it’s true that he’s had a year to observe Thomas’s behavior and make an educated guess that Thomas really is sorry and won’t do it again. We can only speculate as to what extent he may have reached that conclusion and why he has or hasn’t. Some possible reasons why he might not have: trauma blinkers, homophobic and sexist beliefs, sufficiently bad at reading people to not know what clues to even look for, too self-centered to bother thinking about it in those terms... we don’t know. And perhaps he does know perfectly well that Thomas won't do anything like that again and any lingering fear is of cooties or of people mistaking him for gay and him being in the line of fire along with Thomas next time! You can read him that way if you want. You can say “wtf I see no fear of any kind”. It’s a flexible canon and none of these interpretations are actually contradicted by the text. Indeed I happily read other interpretations and when I babbled in those tags it was more "this is the interpretation I am thinking about right now" than intended to assert it as my One True Headcanon that I will not deviate from. But Jimmy definitely has reasons to be afraid, and of more than cooties.

Of course Thomas also has logical and emotional reasons to be afraid of what Jimmy might do, I'm certainly not denying that. (In fact, one of the things I find so compelling about these two is that they both have such strong reasons not to trust each other and they both reach out anyway.) It seems that Thomas’s belief in who Jimmy is as a person supersedes those reasons (“He wouldn’t be so unkind. Not on his own.”) but if Jimmy has a similar belief about who Thomas he keeps it hidden at least until the fair.

P.S. please reconsider the phrase “has the right to be scared” in every context but especially when discussing someone’s reaction to a situation that involved them being sexually assaulted. I offer you the alternative “logical reason to be scared” or "compelling reason" as perhaps capturing what I hope you meant. I think that’s a language choice that really does matter a fair bit.

#*the reference thing is tricky to think about because on the one hand I don't think it would be out of line (ethically #it would definitely be out of line from a propriety standpoint) #for Jimmy to want to know that the incident was affecting Thomas's reference in some way #but I also don't actually know enough about service and references to know how much room for middle ground there was #like if the reference says 'efficient worker but has made other staff uncomfortable in the past' or some other euphemism what does that mea #was that the sort of thing reference writers did ever? #but I don't think Jimmy actually cared about this #so I guess it's moot #the storyline that shall not be named

[murder-raven13]

My Haikyuu Ships pt. 1

A/N: I figured out the keep reading thing!!! Just took a month

This is a list of my Haikyuu ships. I’ll add an explanation for some if I have one. There is no rhyme or reason to the order of this list. 

Warning(s): cursing, minor spoilers (manga & anime), not proofread, loooooong

Word Count: 1,786

Part 2 Part 3

Hinata x Kageyama

Kageyama struggles with communication and understanding others. Hinata, on the other hand, overcommunicates and has a knack for understanding people, even if he doesn’t realize that he does. Plus, Kageyama has struggled to find connections with people because of his zeal for volleyball. This on top of his trouble with communication made it hard for him to make friends. But Hinata matches Kageyama in his zeal and covers Kageyama’s communication weakness well, all while Kageyama gives Hinata a proper volleyball outlet and pushes him to constantly strive to be his best, so I think they’re neat together. 

Hinata x Kenma

Again, Kenma is someone that’s not the best at communication, with a little dose of social anxiety on the side. He’s a lot softer than Kageyama and struggles with communication because he thinks too much (which is the opposite of Kageyama lol). Hinata makes him feel comfortable enough that he can communicate without overthinking himself into a hole. And Kenma, for Hinata, gives him a way to talk and an honest opinion when he needs it. 

Atsumu x Suna

I will take not shit for ship. They are so cute together. During the match Inarizaki played against Karasuno, Atsumu and Suna bantered and, during the flashbacks, Suna and Atsumu were shown to have a pretty good relationship. Plus, Suna is a pretty laid back person and Atsumu is obviously the kind of person that would overwork himself to death or push forward without thinking of the consequences. Suna is a brutally honest person, but I feel like he struggles a bit with moving forward because it’s hard for him to feel motivated. So, Suna can keep Atsumu from going too far and Atsumu can help motivate Suna to move forward when he doesn’t feel like he can. 

Kageyama x Tsukishima [as adults]

Honestly, I don’t even have a good reason for this. They would be dysfunctional because they suck at feelings. Tsukishima never actually says what he means because he’s high key scared of being vulnerable. And Kageyama sucks at communication (but, after Suga’s advice, he takes a much more direct approach to handling Tsukishima, which I feel is what Tsukishima would need in a relationship) and he also sucks at reading body language (particularly Tsukishima’s) which I feel would be something he would need to be with Tsukishima. But Tsukishima would force Kageyama to begin to think more critically in order to keep up with him and Kageyama would force Tsukishima to be more forthcoming with his emotions, even if just because Tsukishima would have to up his passion levels to keep up with Kageyama. So, if they could figure it out, I think they would be a very good couple. If they didn’t though, I feel they would be lowkey toxic. 

Daichi x Suga

Can you watch Haikyuu and not ship these two??? Daichi is very calm, collected, and stable. And that’s a good balance with Suga, who’s an instigator, a meddler, and a worrier. They both care a lot and their very attentive, but they’re opposites in that Suga is a chaotic little monster with an angel face. So they would be a good balance when it came to a relationship. Plus, they would be the sappiest motherfuckers alive together, so, they’re kind of like a comfort, fluff ship. 

Nishinoya x Asahi 

This another one where I ship because they are opposites. Noya is extremely brazen and confident. Asahi is extremely the exact opposite; he’s shy and awkward and self-conscious. Noya, in canon, gets onto Asahi for being self-degrading and hypes him up when he feels Asahi needs it. And Asahi is someone Noya looks up to because he’s strong, even though he struggles, and someone he wants to see succeed. Asahi forces Noya to calm down and allows him to actually feel afraid. One of the reasons Noya understands Asahi so much is because he struggled with being scared when he was younger. So, I feel like Asahi can feel comfortable with Noya because he knows that Noya understands and, at the same time, knows that Noya managed to overcome his fear, which is probably really comforting. Overall, they’re fucking cute and I c a n n o t

Hinata x Tsukishima

They would be so cute, please. Tsukishima is so mean because he’s a big baby and Hinata straight up does not care. It’s also canon [from during the practice match with Seijoh] that Hinata doesn’t like seeing Tsukishima picked on or struggling [he legit offered himself in Tsukki’s place]. Hinata is a big ball of bright emotion and energy where Tsukishima is more clam and reserved, but Hinata has the ability to draw real emotion out of Tsukishima. They’re another two that would balance well. They’re relationship would be a lot of teasing and mocking, though [they have about 3 million inside jokes and Tsukishima revels in leaving people confused with them]. 

Kiyoko x Tanaka

Please, this man proposed the first time he saw her. And he legit stayed dedicated, but never overstepped Kiyoko’s boundaries. He never harassed her or did anything to make her feel uncomfortable. And Kiyoko was never mean to Tanaka, even when she rejected or ignored him. They had a stable relationship because Tanaka’s a goddamn gentlemen [can you tell I simp for this man?] and Kiyoko knows it. She fell in love with him over time because of how respectful and thoughtful Tanaka was. Plus, she’s seen firsthand, for years, the dedication and passion in Tanaka’s character, which is a good contrast to her colder, calmer personality. She gives Tanaka stability and Tanaka gives her passion and comfortability. The fact that this ship is canon gives me life. 

Nishinoya and Tanaka

The level of chaos in this ship, oml. Two disasters. Absolute mess all the time. They love each other so much and they’re both like walking hype-men. Literally no insecurities in this relationship. They are the two most dedicated boys in existence. And they like to have fun, so they’re constantly challenging each other, which keeps their relationship fun and growing; it never really settles, no matter how long they’ve been together because they’re always finding something new to love about the other. They would go on adventures together. So cute. 

Kuroo x Kenma

They’re childhood friends. It is law. Kuroo is so smart and so serious and so caring. He makes sure that Kenma isn’t neglecting himself for his games. And he made sure that Kenma got involved with the team so that he would have friends when Kuroo was gone. And Kenma lets Kuroo delve into his passions and gives him a safe place to relax and be goofy. Kenma is so aloof, but also really caring as well and he’s always paying attention, so he would know immediately when Kuroo was pushing himself too far and needed to let off steam [y’all remember that scene where he asked Kuroo if he wanted to level up (go play volleyball) after they lost a game because he couldn’t just sit and game knowing that Kuroo was upset over the loss? yeah that shit]. And Kuroo gives Kenma somewhere safe and secure where he can be himself without worrying about anything else. 

Kuroo x Tsukishima

This is one of my favorite ships. They’re both ridiculously smart, so the conversations and witty sass between these two is literal gold-tier shit. Tsukishima never lets himself be goofy and I feel like, the longer that went on, the more it would wear on him mentally. Kuroo, on the other hand, knows the important of not being serious all the time. So, he would bring Tsukishima out of his shell and give him a safe space to be a dorky as he wanted. And Kuroo could talk all the Chemistry and science he wanted and Tsukishima would be able to keep up with him. They would constantly be challenging each other intellectually and they would know so much random shit because of it. Definitely the couple that has trivia date nights just to see who’s smarter. They would be such a well-rounded couple because they would balance and push each not just intellectually, but in every aspect of their lives. I can see them being the couple where one has an exam and the other just brings them coffee or tea, gently mocking and praising them until they can find it in themselves to study and get everything done. The one that doesn’t have the exam or big project at work would do the house chores, quietly, though, so the other could focus on what they needed to do. They would know just when the other needed space and when they needed a distraction or comfort. They just...would know each other so well and I-

Bokuto x Akaashi

[Did you think I wasn’t going to do this one?] Bokuto and Akaashi are both passionate and dedicated. Akaashi is a lot more emotionally stable, but he’s also an extreme overthinker. Man overthinks everything. Bokuto, on the other hand, is an under thinker that functions almost purely on his emotions. So, overthinker + under thinker = the perfect amount of thinking. That combined with the fact that Akaashi is emotionally intelligent, but not emotionally expressive means that Bokuto, who is emotionally intelligent and extremely expressive, can help maintain the right amount of communication in their relationship. 

Iwaizumi x Oikawa

I wasn’t kidding when I said this was law for childhood friends. I meant that shit. Oikawa is manipulative, calculating, and extremely driven. But he has no concept of his own limitations or elects to ignore them because he wants to improve. Oikawa is really insecure, too, because he’s constantly trying so hard, pushing himself further than he can go, and it’s still never been enough to make him the best. Because of his fangirls and his desire to be the best, Oikawa is constantly making himself seem perfect, which means hiding parts of his personality at times. And he’s the type of person that has control over his emotions because he’s pretty methodical when it comes to his goals; he’s willing to literally do whatever it takes to succeed at what he wants. Iwaizumi, on the other hand, has known him long enough that Oikawa can literally not be perfect with him. Oikawa has to be real around Iwaizumi, who knows and acknowledges his true personality in its entirety, even going as far as to point out Oikawa’s flaws constantly, to remind Oikawa that he knows him and stays anyway. They make damn good outlets for each other and they know each better than anyone else, which means that they are, quite literally, each other’s safe space. 

I have more ships, of course, but this post is already long as shit, so I’ll post those in a part 2 

#haikyuu ships #hinataxkageyama #kagehina #hinakage #haikyū!! #haikyu #haikyu relationship #hinataxkenma #hinata x kenma #hinata x kageyama #kenhina #hinaken #atsumuxsuna #atsumu x suna #atsusuna #sunaatsu #kageyamaxtsukishima #kageyama x tsukishima #kageyama x tsukki #kageyamaxtsukki #kagetsuki #tsukikage #daichixsuga #daichi x suga #daichxsugawara #daichi x sugawara #daisuga #sugadai #nishinoyaxasahi #nishinoya x asahi

[sz-amare]

5. Importance of a Character’s Dreams and Motivations

One thing in common with almost all shōnen protagonists are their dreams and their motivations for chasing them. I think this is one of the most important aspects of a character. It helps them feel more three-dimensional and realistic. It is hard to make a great character with no dream or motivation, but it can be pulled off, as shown in Nux Taku’s video on The Genius of Villains without Motives.

 Anyway, to understand and love a character, it is important to grasp an idea of what makes them tick. Here I will provide a couple of examples of characters with ambitious and idealistic goals backed up by a great and understandable motivation. I will also provide an example where a character’s motivation doesn’t feel convincing, and therefore, doesn’t draw as much emotion or commitment to the characters.

Luffy is one of the greatest shōnen protagonists and is my favorite character in anime. His dream is to become the Pirate King. Even though he is a fictional character, we somehow have a deep connection with Luffy.

Oda has managed to portray Luffy as a great man in the series. I don’t think it is merely because he is strong or because he follows his principles, but rather, we can actually feel that only Luffy can be the Pirate King. I believe we feel this way because we see the Pirate King’s title fitting perfectly with Luffy’s character. But to better understand his motivations and character, we need to look to his past.

Luffy is significantly inspired by Shanks, greatly appreciating Shanks’ freedom and the principles he follows. Luffy also has a large amount of respect for his older brother. Sabo decided to sail the seas without money or power, trying to escape the nobility life that imprisoned him. But his journey ended before it had a chance to start due to the Celestial Dragon shooting down his little boat. Here we can see two of the people Luffy respected the most chased their own freedom, and the only thing that opposed that freedom is the world government

Luffy also wants to chase that freedom, but he can’t since the world government is preventing him from chasing that dream. However, Luffy had made this connection that pirates are the freest people on earth; they get to do whatever they wanted with no consequences as long as their strength can back it up. They were also considered enemies of the world government, the very thing Luffy despises. Luffy didn’t only aspire to be like Shanks and Sabo; he didn’t only want to be a simple pirate; he didn’t only seek freedom; he wanted to be the freest man in the entire world while respecting others and following basic morals. If pirates were free and the Pirate King was the greatest pirate, the Pirate King must be the world’s freest man. Therefore, Luffy decided to peruse this freedom by becoming the Pirate King.

Another great example is illustrated with Naruto and Asta. They have very similar dreams of being the most powerful and respected man in their respective country. But, their motivations differ from each other. Their aspirations play a perfect part in their characters and their pasts. Naruto was considered the “devil child” since he was possessed by the Nine-Tails Fox, the deity that once terrorized his entire village. The Fox was to be feared and very dangerous. So the whole village discriminated against him, terrified of him attacking the village at any moment. 

He had no friends, and on top of that, Naruto’s parents died when the Fox was trapped in his body. He wasn’t just discriminated against; he was lonely and wanted respect. Naruto realized that the Hokage is the most respected person in the entire country. So, he aspired to be the Hokage; Naruto just wanted respect and acceptance.

Asta was a commoner with no magic. That’s an absurd thing to think about, simply because there isn’t a single person in the Black Clover world who has no magic. In the world of Black Clover, there are different levels of magic ability: the nobles having the most magic, the middle class having an average amount, and commoners having little to no magic. But Asta has no magic. This means that he is not only disrespected by the nobles and middle class but also by other commoners. Asta wants to prove that with no special abilities, he can be the Wizard King, the most powerful mage in the kingdom. If he accomplishes this, he can prove that even commoners can reach such high standards. With this, he can strive for equality.

All these examples are brilliant. Each example follows on their pasts and makes sense of why they have such high aspirations. Luffy’s goal is to be the Pirate King, and his motivation is freedom. Naruto’s goal is to be the Hokage, and his motivation is respect and acceptance. Asta’s goal is to be the Wizard King, and his motivation is equality and recognition. All of their pasts put them in a situation where their motivation makes sense. This allows us to sympathize with them, understanding them on a different level.

But there are a couple of characters whose motivation I find a bit bland. The biggest offender of this is Itadori Yuji from Jujutsu Kasien. His dream is to become a very strong individual in order to help others. His motivation? His grandfather’s last words.

Now I understand that Itadori had a very close relationship with his grandfather and that his love for him alone is good enough motivation to follow his dream. But first off, it doesn’t even feel like it is Itadori’s dream. He seems to be following someone else desire. If maybe this was something that was ingrained in Itadori’s mind as a child, and we got to see it, his dream would feel a lot more like his own. His motivation would also make more sense. As an example, my parents have always told me to be kind to others, but now it feels more like it’s my own principle, not theirs. I don’t get that same feeling from Itadori’s grandfather’s motivation. Secondly, we don’t even understand Itadori’s connection to his grandfather. If we had a couple of episodes dedicated to showing us their bond and relationship, this would be a different matter. Now, every time I hear Itadori talk about others and how he couldn’t save someone, I end up staring at the screen with a blank face and saying, “Okay…”

To me, his dream is to be strong so that he can help others (I think) and his motivation is his grandfather’s final words which felt nothing short of dumb and ridiculous. We don’t even get to see his past and fully understand if this is something that Itadori always believed. Jujutsu Kaisen only aired 16 episodes and still has time to unfold, so I can understand if there is something that is yet to develop. But so far, Itadori, along with his dreams and motivations, suck.

In my book series, I want to make each character have convincing and understandable dreams and motivations, and I hope to make it similar to Luffy’s, Naruto’s, and Asta’s. You should be careful when making characters.  Having their motivations fall flat can really turn off an audience. I hope to create realistic-feeling characters with dreams and motivations that seem to align perfectly with their character.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask in the “Ask Me Anything” tab on my Tumblr page.

#anime #otaku #shonen #shounen #one piece #jujutsu kaisen #naruto #black clover #love anime #anime analysis #anime essay

[100dad]

100 things that made me America’s Dad

#1 I had Sex. It is tough to be a Dad when you do not have a kid. Full credit due for invitro dads, for adoption dads, and stepdads. I am not trying to bash on anybody’s parade. I just did it the old-fashioned way. Had a lot of fun. It is a natural talent.

#2 I got my priorities in the right order.  It is not about me anymore. Faith. Wife. Kids. Then me. My hobbies take a back seat. The gym became less important.

#3 I made my marriage a priority.

#4 I made sure I could financially provide. Check income. Track expenses. Budget.

#5 Financially prepared for the future. College. Retirement. Big Purchases. House. Cars. Etc.

#6 I made sure I had a Will.

#7 I made sure I had Life Insurance.

#8 I recognized that I am now a role model. I should at least act like it.

#9 I stayed optimistic about everything. Because pessimism sucks.

#10 Made sure Mom and Dad are on the same team.

#11 My discipline game was on point. Strong, Firm, Reasonable.

#12 I protected my family.  From physical harm, spiritual harm, emotional harm, evil.

#13 I am thankful for everything. Where I was born. The people I have met. That guy that gave me an idea. The guy that said I couldn’t. The ones that said I could. To authors. To haters. To supporters. Everything. Everyone.

#14 I provide. A roof, food, and water. Stable home. Education. Unconditional love. Discipline. Consequences.

#15 Not rigid. I stay flexible. Not only in the sack. I’m not going to be rigid in my parenting. Times change. Kids have different personalities. I adjust accordingly.

#16 I shouldered the responsibility. And the blame.  All of it. I can handle it.

#17 I set the tone at home. It’s what a leader does.

#18 Made sure our family name means something in our community. How we carry ourselves and how we treat others.

#19 A good home life was more important than faking it on social media.

#20 I made sure our house was a home.

#21 I kicked ass at work. I tried to be the best. Because that is how you succeed.

#22 I prepare my kids for the real world. Age appropriately, of course.

#23 My values and morals are firm. I do not compromise on those.

#24 I put in the effort. Because this is too important to wing it.

#25 I became good at relationships. It’s amazing what being nice, reliable, and offering help will do for your reputation.

#26   Humbled myself because I realized my ego will be my downfall.

#27   Perspective was everything. I learned to put myself in other people’s shoes.

#28 Taught my kids about guns. If I am going to have them, we might as well make sure safety is taught and they do not become forbidden fruit.

#29 I reassessed who I hung out with. I wanted to elevate myself not be held back.

#30 This is who I took advice from. People who actually did what I wanted to do. Good Dads. Good businessmen who built from scratch.

#31 Time. Quality and quantity. I recognized its importance in raising a family. Time is everything.

#32 Let my kids be them. Not what I wish I had been. My Values and morals are firm but I let their personalities and talents bloom.

#33 I read books to my kids. Good bonding. Good teaching moments.

#34 I Play with my kids. Both when it was fun as they get older and when it was boring when they just laid there.

#35 I remain Calm under pressure. Cool heads prevail over emotional drama queens.

#36 I build up my kids’ confidence. Because self-esteem does not result from being crushed all the time.

#37 I give them frequent reality checks. If I’m going to be humbled…so will they. This isn’t a fairy tale.

#38 Created a stable home environment. Rules, routine, predictability.

#39 Realized how much these kids see and absorb…..and modified my behavior.

#40 I hated negativity. Still do.

#41 Vices – not for me. I can say no. I can handle stress. Drugs, alcohol, gambling, porn, tobacco….I make sure my mind is more powerful than temptation.

#42 My secret formula. Hard work + Good Decisions + Faith =Success

#43 Failing does not bother me. In fact, it oddly is fun for me.

#44 Plowed thru fears. Pushed forward. No, what-ifs.

#45 Live without regret. I do not want to be 90 wishing I had been a better dad or tried to make something of myself.

#46 Not afraid to make the unpopular decision because I know it is the right decision.

#47 I do not get painted into corners. If A and B are the only options. I find or create an option C.

#48 I am not afraid to get weird and step outside my comfort zone.

#49 I did not say the things I wanted to say when I was angry. Because I knew I would regret it and once those things are said they never really get taken back.

#50 Loved taking those scary leaps toward opportunities.

#51 Gave my kids independence and freedom as they earned it.

#52 I am not a helicopter dad. But I do verify the trust and freedoms I have allowed are worthy.

#53 Comparison was motivation, not depression. I was never envious, just inspired.

#54 Our house had RULES. Because structure is important.

#55 I refused to sacrifice my family to excel in my career.

#56 I let my kids fail…. a lot.

#57 Became okay with asking for help…. letting go of that ego thing.

#58 Actions were more important than words…. anybody can say the words.

#59 I didn’t make excuses, I just got things done.

#60 Willingness to do what others would not. I found there is much value in doing the things others find demeaning or too hard.

$61 I found the best balance is balancing over longer periods of time. Not day to day or even weekly. More seasonal.

#62 I gave myself reality checks. Check that ego.

#63 I realized how good I have it. And I did my best to soak in that contentment.

#64 Recognized my kids’ genetics and focused on their talents, skills, and personalities.

#65 Respect is important. Earning it & Giving it.

#66 Bravery is important. Super important. Stand up for what I genuinely believe in.

#67 Raising my kids to be fully functional adults.

#68 I used short-term tactics with long-term visions.

#69 Pushed my kids to be better, braver, stronger.

#70 Teach my kids everything I can about life, so they are prepared when they enter the real world without me.

#71 Recognized how important dads’ role is in the family.

#72 I document a lot. It’s great for memories. Reflection. Appreciation.

#73 I controlled my kids' influences. What they see, experience, hear.

#74 Strong man- Kind heart.

#75 The secret to a good life is simply being happy.

#76 I do my best. Give my best. Because effort is huge!

#77 Realized my wife was insanely important to our life.

#78 I drive our family value home repeatedly. No one and done. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

#79 Started my own businesses giving us control of our lifestyle.

#80 Worked close to home because I hated the idea of traffic instead of family.

#81 Made big efforts to be incredibly involved in my kids’ lives. Even the not so fun things.

#82 We switched to homeschooling. More time. More freedom. More control of influences.

#83 Knew my priorities in life. Faith. Family. Work. Friends.

#84 Budgeting was a huge deal. Both of us stayed involved and adhered to it. Neither of us wasted our hard-earned money.

#85 I did not borrow money. No partners. No inheritance. All on my own. No scapegoats. No crutches.

#86 Willing to do unpopular things and go against the grain. Because going along with crowds seems so…. basic.

#87 Cared more about building a net worth than impressing people.

#88 Despite mediocre grammar skills I enjoy writing out my thoughts. Creates clarity and conviction!

#89 Never traveled as a kid, Limited travel as an adult= Strong desire to travel!

#90 Sold a valuable business to the right company at the right time. Luck helps. Luck seems to happen to people who work really hard and do the right things.

#91 Realized having cash and no debt gives you options and freedom and tremendous peace of mind.

#92 Set huge, big goals. Never achieved them totally. But when I came up short, I still did great!

#93 Never afraid of work…even hard work, willing to outwork everyone.

#94 My hobby was my family and work. I excelled at the 2 things I focused most on.

#95 Leaned heavily on my Faith. Put my worries, struggles, anxieties on shoulders bigger than mine.

#96 I knew I did not want to replicate the bad parts of my father …but I did want to replicate the good parts.

#97 Married a girl with the same values and morals as me. With similar goals. With similar ethics. With the same determination to work through bad times and build a good life.

#98 Looked at my ancestry and wanted to become a legend in my family. I wanted our name to really mean something.

#99 Lived a life that if someone wants to dig into it there is nothing to find. Squeaky clean.

#100 Wrote down our family values. This became our compass and roadmap.

100% Dad is currently on tour traveling the country promoting the 100% Dad brand. Townsend Russell is the Founder and Personality for 100% Dad. Townsend has been on the tour for over 15 months with his family with plans to continue until January 2023. Townsend sold his businesses and retired in 2019 and has been building 100% Dad and creating insane memories with his family along the way.

Find out more about 100% Dad on the website 100dad.com

Rep the brand on 100dad.com/shop

Follow on Insta @100Dad

Youtube channel 100% Dad

#dadlife #dads #dad #fatherhood #father

[ll-underestimated-ll]

Answering All Questions from a Prompt Cos I Do What I Want

1. What’s one experience your character had that made them very afraid?

The first time he woke up to find that what he’d dismissed as being entirely the formation of one of his nightmares - was very much real. Prompted the realisation of just how much harm he was capable of doing.

2. Does your character have a deep and/or dark secret? If so, what is it?

Leo doesn’t let people know that his sire & grandsire never entirely aligned themselves with the Camarilla. Considering it took him some time to work that out himself he holds hope that at his current age people simply won’t go digging. There is also generally a lot of things he’s done in the name of fulfilling some role or another that he feels deep shame for. That’s less kept secret and more... he just doesn’t speak about it.

3. Have they ever lost a loved one? What happened to them, and are they the same as they were before they lost them?

Many. Regularly. Loss is simply part of un-life for him. The fact he hasn’t lost anyone near and dear to him over the last half a century hangs over him like a bad omen. He’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. But a short list of the most notable losses that had an summary of their impact on him:  - Eldest brother : sickness/starvation ~1510 - resulted in Leo taking on a survivalist ‘me before others’ attitude. - Best friend : first feed post-embrace 1516 - made him terrified of himself for several years - First wife : Mother order him to burn her to death late-1520s - made him highly aware of the fact that he can be turned on people he’s cared about  - Ell (one of his ‘siblings’) : sent on a suicide mission Mother had him sign off on ~1630?1620? - was the last straw in hammering home what he’d already seen over the course of being blood bonded. They were all disposable to her, and it was only a matter of time before he’d meet the same fate. - Nossie he’d fallen for : execution 1940s - after he had committed several masquerade breaches Vindr ordered Leo to use trust he had with him to follow through with the execution. It’d been a long time since he’d killed someone that dear to him and the ease at which he did it unsettled even himself. 

4. Has your character ever been hurt or betrayed by someone they thought they could depend on? What happened?

Yes. He’d had ‘siblings’ try to double-cross him on plenty of occasions. Usually was via trying to pin the blame for something on him.

5. Would they ever turn on someone they just met in order to save themselves?

Yes.

6. Have they ever committed a crime, or something they felt was wrong? What was it?

The entire Crimes Act. At least, as far as he has the capacity for doing so.

7. If your character was allowed to murder one person without any consequences, who would it be and why?

Vindr. The time spent blood bonded to each other between 1860 - 1989.

8. Does your character have any enemies? If so, who and why?

There are several hunters based in the country he’s trying to figure out how to get rid off without causing a scene or draw any attention to. They’re a threat to his community. 

9. Is the character a victim of abuse?

Yes.

10. What were the character’s parents like? What was the affect the parents had on the character?

His father was a minor merchant managing the coming and goings of goods from his home village. His work placed them above standard serfdom allowing him the chance to learn basic reading and writing before his sire (Mother) adopted him. Any influence they had on him has long since been overshadowed by other things.

11. What are your character’s coping mechanisms?

Burying himself in work and activities. Finding relatable aspects in fictional characters. Joking around and making the most of opportunities where he doesn’t have to take things too seriously.

12. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering?

After lifetimes of suffering he’d prefer to avoid it. However he does have a cruel streak and enjoy seeing other people suffer. Has that ‘it’ll build character’ and ‘it’s not that bad so suck it up’ sort of attitude towards other peoples shit. Sometimes he just wants someone to suffer as a way to exercise control over them.

13. What does it take to make your character cry?

Simultaneously a lot, and also real minor stuff. Ya know, the standard shit to come from suppressing/bottling up your reactions to incredibly straining situations. He’ll be cold and apathetic in some incredibly horrible situation he ought to cry about. Then some time later break down post screaming fit at some inanimate object because it wasn’t cooperating with him.

14. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Other than his prioritisation of maintaining his own power and survival over anything else? The fact he’s stuck at 16 years old. That’s an incredibly difficult thing to work around - even when in a relationship based purely on romantic feelings. These modern nights he feels that both physical and overall age lock him out of legitimate relationships entirely. To the point where he doesn’t even play at stringing people along on one sided things ~for the drama~ like he used to. 

This particular reason is what’s had him friendzoned by the twins, despite them being the best probably candidate and him pulling kind of a Edward on them.

15. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Biggest fear is hard to pinpoint, but in general the concept of being completely helpless and not in control of his own actions. When scared he gets paranoid and hyper-vigilant of his surroundings. Very on guard towards any threats and looking for away to run away.

16. What are your character’s vices and bad habits?

Impulsiveness. Knowingly causing harm. Smoking.

17. Is your character afraid of death? Why/why not?

Absolutely. He doesn’t even like to think about what final death will have in store for him.

18. Would society call your character a good guy or a bad guy? what would they say they are?

From societies perspective from everything he’s been involved with - 120% a bad guy. He’d say the same and mark himself down as being an Anti-hero at best. 

19. What is your character insecure about?

His own paranoia causing him to flip from being impulse to being incredibly indecisive at times.

20.  What was something they struggled with greatly and how did they overcome it?

Being blood bonded. Overcome through a mix of share force of will and personal introspection.

21. Does your character have anyone that they really care about, to the point that they would give their life for them? If so, who are they and what is your character’s relation to them? If not, do they wish they did? Is there anyone they wish they could build such a relationship with?

While he doesn’t think he’d give his lives for them because that sort of behaviour is incredibly foolish in his eyes - his current found family from the past century. His central coterie of the twins and Alexandra in particular. He will throw just about everyone in his city under the bus in the name of protecting them. And, they’d do the same. In post-prince verse when his city falls Alex ends up the one sacrificing her life for him and god the guilt is sickening.

He’s quite happy with his current little familial circle but he’s hoping to get closer with Danny. Get him to be part of that found family circle properly.

22. If they could change just one thing about themselves, what would it be?

He’d like to have the capacity to care for people without feeling like he’s going to inevitably be their downfall.

23. Is your character more physically or emotionally strong? Why is this?

If we’re talking strong in terms of taking blows that can be taken I wanna say physically cos despite it being his lowest stat his Fortitude is high so he soaks damage fairly easily.

24. What is your character’s most important possession? Why?

He still has his signet ring from when he fled his Mother. Not even he knows just how much that it means to him. It’s intensely sentimental to him as the only physical possession he has left of that era of his life. Someone stole it from him while he was living in London and he made quite the mess of them to get it back.

25. Do they find that they care what others think of them? Or do they not really mind how others view them?

He flip flops wildly between caring intensely about what others think of him and not giving a singular shit. It depends on the crowd and his motivations. In general his preference is to have people to like him and see him as above them in some way.

26. What, in your character’s life, puts the most pressure on them?

The community he’s Prince of. He sees his role as being to protect them at the end of the day and sometimes that means doing things they don’t like. But doing things they dislike gets push back and push back de-legitimises his power as Prince.

27.  What would be the worst way to die, in your character’s opinion?

How he almost died when I used him briefly as a PC. Disgraced. Looked down upon with no dignity by everyone around him in a city he’s unfamiliar with. Nobody. Nothing. The last of his city. A waste of the self sacrifice from those he loved. Crying, screaming desperately trying to claw his way out of capture at the hands of those that don’t know tossing him in a holding cell where light can get to him will kill him.

28. What is your character’s greatest strength?

In mun’s opinion, the fact that despite everything he’s been through and seen...the fact that he just keeps going.

29. What is their weapon of choice, and what weapon do they dislike using the most?

Social manipulation so that combat is avoided in the first place. But, he’s always had a liking for firearms and actually quite likes using them. He dislikes fighting with his bare hands.

30. What makes them feel safe or secure? What makes them feel insecure or unsafe?

He feels most safe when either alone or the only people around him are those he has blood bonded. He feels deeply uncomfortable around kindred that are of a lower generation than him. With dominate as a main discipline he finds that not being able to resort to it suddenly makes all interactions with the person he’s interacting with very threatening.

#long post #ooc #about

[rickybowxn]

hey!! ok so i just need someone else’s opinion bc i haven’t seen anyone talking about this and i literally can’t wrap my head around it lol ok so ricky and nini dated for a YEAR and never once said i love you? and if ricky isn’t ready to say it was he going to wait till 2 years? 3? 4? or was he never going to say it? i also don’t understand why he doesn’t understand that he broke her heart :( i love him but he essentially broke up with her after she told him she loved him on their anniversary 😭

hiya! this is such a great line of discussion and so there’s a lot to break down, bear with me this is gonna be a long one :)

let’s start with the thought that ricky doesn’t understand that he broke nini’s heart. i agree and disagree with you on this. i think that as a 16 year old boy, in the heat of the moment after he saw the instagram post and was clearly overwhelmed by it, he definitely didn’t know that he deeply hurt nini when he decided to not say it back and break up with her. he was as impulsive and sudden in action in response to a post/declaration that in his perspective, was impulsive and sudden by nini. he definitely underestimated the consequences and the weight of him not saying it back in respect to nini’s emotions, and thought that there was space to come back from not saying it back (and i’ll get to why he assumed that in a bit). now, fast forward to junior year, i think he’s definitely understood just how much he broke nini’s heart. i think kourtney’s resentment toward ricky in respect to how nini was treated and more importantly, nini’s general irritation/stand offishness and just distaste towards him throughout the first three episodes allowed ricky to understand how hurt she was by it.

now let’s get when ricky was supposed to/will say ‘i love you’. i don’t know about you but i personally believe that every relationship has a pace, and that pace is different for everybody. saying ‘i love you’ simply doesn’t have a timer on it, it could happen in weeks, or months, or years. how fast or how long it takes to say those words neither validates nor weakens the relationship, and that’s what i believe. personally, i’d argue that throwing around ‘i love you’s’ at 14/15/16 is more unusual/immature than a healthy/mature response (and i’ll elaborate on that in a bit as well) in a relationship. with respect to rini/rickini/ricky and nini, it’s more about each character’s motivation and circumstance with respect to their relationship, as well as their relationship as a whole. tackling that first bit, ricky is in a really rough spot in his perception of love atm, it’s been skewed into negativity since his parents’ marriage started falling apart, i’ve mentioned it in another post of mine when i was analysing ep4 - ‘the only concept of love that he grew up with, his parents - he witnessed them be in, and slowly fall out of love. his only understanding of love is that it is temporary and painful’. now parallel that with nini’s perception of love, beautifully explicated by the subtext of kourtney’s (kinda) monologue in ep5 “i don’t get it, what happened to the seventh grade nini who used to belt this song… ever since you discovered boys, you’ve spent way too much time trying to see yourself through their eyes”, we know that they are worlds apart in how they perceive and pace the idea of love, as well as a relationship itself. nini, from what kourtney said, can be deduced to loving the idea of love - having a boyfriend, getting attention and affection etc. she’s a 14/15 year old girl who started a relationship with the first boy she met and seriously had feelings for. it’s even safe to assume that she jumped into saying ‘i love you’ because she thought ricky was ‘the one’ and she must have watched about 3737328473 romcoms and musicals that pushed the agenda and romanticised relationships and being in love (which no doubt influenced her version and understanding, which is still completely valid and integral, of love). it’s really important for us to understand that just like ricky’s understanding of love is twisted, so is nini’s, neither of them have really gotten to knowing the depth of how good and not so good love can be, and how big of a commitment it is, and that’s because of what i talk about next!

the bombshell that has created the entire arc of the ricky and nini relationship is immaturity. immaturity! ricky and nini are teenagers who are still developing skills such as communication, their independent values and beliefs, as well as self-image. these are all fundamental aspects that encourage and foster a healthy environment for a romantic relationship to grow. getting into a relationship so young, at 14/15 and committing to a person is so difficult simply because you don’t have a developed skillset of these things yet, and ricky and nini are a poster example. remember how i said i’d get back to why ricky thought that he could come back from not saying ‘i love you back’ to nini? well we’re here now, it was immaturity. ricky didn’t have the empathy or emotional maturity to understand how it would effect nini, and nini didn’t communicate, (and actually still hasn’t communicated), why not saying ‘i love you’ back hurt her, she’s just been lashing out so far. now the mature thing to have done is to have sat down with ricky and talked through it, asked him and understood his train of thought. she didn’t do that and ricky just walked away without explaining himself. that, is called a lack of communication. and that skill, comes from learning and ageing. yes it was obvious to us as an audience what he’d done was so wrong, but seriously, as a 16 year old coming from a broken home and never having experienced/seen a healthy relationship, i doubt you any of us would be able to fully grasp it if it was happening to us. and that’s why i’d argue that taking a relationship slow, feeling it out and getting into it as older and more mature individuals is more thought-out. your feelings at any age toward another person are valid, especially in the case that they are reciprocated, but that doesn’t mean you will have a functioning relationship. that’s because relationships. are. work. and kids can’t handle the work because they don’t have the skills that match the job description. ‘i love you’ encapsulates that promise - exercising communication, empathy and support, it’s more than just an emotion i think. in this case, i actually think that ricky understands that better than nini does, because as i said in my other post, one of the motivating reasons he didn’t say it back is because his parents didn’t keep their promise - they fell out of developing their skillset and supporting each other. 

now the most important side-note: none of us will ever perfect these skills that make a relationship work, its constant practice in empathy, in communication, in understanding, in esteem and confidence, and in support. i just think that nini and ricky never got to experience even developing those skills independently and that’s why their relationship fell apart in the way it did. this break has already matured them, ep5 showed nini gaining genuine confidence in herself and ep4 showed ricking communicating to nini how he felt about everything going on at home. them independently going about their lives and growing is already inevitably readying them for being in a relationship and committing to them the right way, when they’re ready for it! i’m so excited to see it

finally, as for when ricky will say/was planning to say ‘i love you’ - i think the writers are taking us on that journey right now! the break ricky and nini have been going through is perfectly setting them up for that mutual and satisfying understanding of the love they have for one and other. i personally think that ricky has loved nini from the get-go, his fear of externalising those emotions is that he’ll have the same outcome as his parents, his insecurities right now don’t allow him to believe that he can have, or even deserves, more than his parents’ fate. hopefully gets out of his rut with talking about how he genuinely feels about nini and how he’s ready for that relationship soon. nini is already getting better at being more sure of herself and what she wants, i think she’ll soon realise how ricky is different to her, and how that doesn’t take away from his legitimate and very strong feelings that are ever-present for her.

what ricky did sucked and he was undoubtably a douche. but that was the exposition to his, and ricky and nini’s story, it only gets better from here! it already has xx

(i’m so so sorry it’s this long, you just really got my analysis flowing lmao, hopefully this wasn’t just a mumble and was kind of an insight. i have so much to say but my brain feels like ramen rn)

#sorry for the length of this post oof #hsmtmts #hsmtmts spoilers #hsmtmts s1 #high school musical the musical the series #ricky bowen #user:rickybowxn #ricky x nini #nini x ricky #nini salazar roberts #rickini #vi's thoughts #vi answers asks

[cirocchio]

AU details 01. royalty etc.

( still pointing at tsun as the instigator for this post )

‘royalty AU’ is too vague for me though so this is going to be a more all-encompassing general description of possible ideas for ‘AUs that all can take place in a political/ court setting’. No fancy introductory story-like excerpt.

Some things to note:

Firstly; because I like to keep Ciri’s Roma heritage I’m more inclined to make her a bastard child that may or may not be legitimised by her father. Usually not. Her uncle, as always, dotes on her. He’s also the more popular of the duo, the heir of the throne, etc. Another idea is that she accompanies Remo/Silvan to court as a child, as Remo would want to lobby for more rights for Rroma/ commoners in general. She can be as high or low-ranking as is deemed suitable for the plot.

Secondly: Ciri will never be a happy ruler. The responsibility of such a position weighs her down and restrains her and has never been something she wants to live with; Ciri both fears and hates power so her having that will make her incredibly uncomfortable. She doesn’t have the talent for scheming and intrigues nor does she command enough respect for her advisers to listen to her: she’d be a puppet at best, a scapegoat or victim of an assassination plot at worst. Ideally ( and even realistically ); she never gets stuck in the position of ruler/heir to the throne in the first place, but if she somehow did, she would work on a way to abdicate or even get banished without too much commotion or sending the country in chaos.

Ciri’s reputation ( aka the one thing I can talk about with almost utmost certainty ): Regardless of her position (low-ranking noble or royal blood), she’d be a bit of an oddball at court. She’s sensible and pragmatic and has plenty of interest in languages, culture, and music, promising traits. Yet when it comes to other matters she is bored, unmotivated, and dreamily stares out of the window during important lessons and meetings. She has no tact and will tell nobles, teachers, and missionaries alike when she does not like them, something they say or do, or disagrees with them without any regard for whether it’s appropriate or not. Being a bad liar Ciri quickly gives up on trying to play with and figure out the different masks people put on and stubbornly stays true to herself, demonstrating her distaste for the two-faced behaviour at court. She spends more time reading books and playing with her birds in the gardens than she does attending festivities, banquets, or councils ( and if she does attend either of those it’s to listen to or talk with the bards and poets and whatnot ). She has proven herself a terrible fighter and tactician at an early age, and actively avoids war generals or soldiers – making her dislike for them obvious. On the other hand, she is known to slip in the kitchens ( is surprisingly resourceful when it comes to this, even though she later confesses her mischief ) at night and speak informally to the servants.

While teachers find her temperament easy to manage, her select interests are frustrating. When she’s not motivated she will not put effort in her tasks, unless perhaps Remo convinces her to, but he’s known to be lenient with her. She openly talks about her fantasy of meeting magickal bards who will steal her away for marriage ( or just adventure ). Rumours circulate that she talks to her birds and kisses them in the hopes of turning them into fairies. In many ways she is a child, yet sometimes she seems wise beyond her years. 

She’s passionate about introducing literacy for the common folk, and purposely lets her maids listen in on her classes or gives them ‘homework’ to practice writing, but other than that does not have an active interest in the welfare of the commoners and is thoroughly unhappy with the responsibility to care and decide things for them. She also has romantic views on what it’s like to belong to the common folk and often says she wishes to be one of them, unaware of how limiting, inconvenient, and difficult poverty can be.

The general consensus is that she’s better avoided as her lowborn mother’s traits show in her boorish behaviour and clumsy movements, proving that she has no place at court; wouldn’t want that to rub off on you. Some people enjoy her company and soothing voice, though. Mostly lower-ranking nobles of little consequence, girls a few years younger than her, and the servants she befriends of course. She’s also, obviously, seen as bad wife material. This might make her sound like a rebellious child but Ciri is not the type to throw a tantrum over things, purposely upset others, start fights or otherwise and would endure gossip and humiliation with a meek smile and, or if she reacts her words would lack subtlety and ‘intellect’, aka it makes her come off as an idiot and wouldn’t be too insulting to the person who insulted her first. She minds her own business and so long as others mind theirs she’s happy, as is also the came in most of her other verses. In other words, it all really comes down to her presence at court being very misplaced. Remo thinks it’s endearing and ‘gives the people something to talk about’, so he doesn’t scold her – protects her where he can. Silvan tries his best to ignore her existence altogether, though that’s a bit more dependent on the plot that’s decided on.

Possible situations, place at court:

Remo & Silvan are of royal blood, Remo being the crown prince. Ciri is Silvan’s bastard child, raised at court but not acknowledged by Silvan. Remo takes her under his wings and raises her as an important member at court, using her as a pawn ( to make Silvan seem more sympathetic/ involved/ as a spy under the guise of her talent as a (travelling) court musician/ to strengthen political bonds by arranging a marriage ). Little is Ciri aware that her position is a direct threat to her younger half-sisters; her being older, does she not have as much right on the throne as them? Whether her half-sisters see it the same way is up for discussion.

Similar as above but Remo dies at some point, leaving her back in Silvan’s awkward care. Silvan, convinced and aware of his own limitations as a ruler, would appoint her as his successor so he may abdicate quickly. Ciri resents him for this, ignorant as he is that she’s every bit as unsuitable and unwilling to lead a nation as him. Cue her trying to weasel her way out of it, or early assassination plots, or manipulative leeches trying to make a puppet of her; this would be a scenario where it’s advisable to look for a different successor.

In the event that Silvan/Remo are nobles or even just wealthy merchants who bought their way to court, and have come there to voice their grief about their village/ the Rroma etc. and thus lobby for better conditions, Ciri would mostly be left alone and treated with little interest by others, although she is still in danger of being an assissination victim, as it’s not in everyone’s best interest that Remo convinces the king/court of his right.

Another for if Remo passes away (whether by accident or assassination), better if he’s no heir but just nobility trying to improve the conditions of Rromani; here are actually some options for Ciri to want to actively partake in politics, if only to honour his memory & ‘fulfil his wish’, or even to uncover who murdered him. She’d still suck as before though and would need to rely on others to actually achieve what she wants: it’d be an incredibly dangerous undertaking for her.

Of course she can also be the servant or maid or musician appearing at court and take it from there, but then it’d be your muse’s royal au, not Ciri’s.

Anyway there’s a lot that can happen, catch me coming up with 25 more ideas depending on your muse.

Other things to consider ( on my side of the plotting ): - the position of roma in the society this would take place – are they accepted, outcasts, does it take place in a fictive court where they are a well-represented; is her heritage openly known or kept secret? on the other hand, could the roma try to use her existence as a means to get more rights and visibility in this land? - whether her gender is an issue or not. I’m a fan of not, of using a fictional setting where female monarchs are as common as male (meaning female soldiers and diplomats etc are also equally common), but either way works. - the stability of the country: is it peaceful? on the brink of the war? is there civil unrest or not? how important is it to have a stable ruler? How divided is the court, how many enemies are there? - Ciri’s popularity among the common folk largely depends on what they value/need. Because of her mousy appearance she’s not impressive as a strong leader who guides and unites the people, but her gentle demeanour can be useful if the people value benevolence and mercy - she will always suck and want to get out just know this. would also need help in getting out. - will never care much for a difference in ranks and loathes the titles and formalities that ought to be used.

#( au info. ) #( verse: 01. )

[kemonododo]

Decided to rewatch the whole series after seeing the finale, here's my thoughts as they come along part 2

This fight between Catra and Adora is where it all comes to a head. Adora begging Catra to follow her, Catra begging her to stay. Catra denying Adora the satisfaction of saving her, then pulling herself out of the portal as a corrupted monster. Adora seeing her true friends put their trust in her, then immediately see a horrific monster in the form of her love take their place. Catra lets everything out here, how she hates Adora's hero complex and how she blames Adora for everything. It's just so raw.

Of course, the best part is the punch. Adora is no longer going to take Catra's hate, she is done. In her own words, she made her choice and she has to live with it. That final death glare is everything. This is the lowest point Catradora will ever face, and it takes Catra proving that she is willing to change for Adora to see the good in her again.

Angella's sacrifice hits a lot harder now that we know she's dead for good, something about the "trapped between portals stuff" convinced me she wasn't when I first saw this. She died still believing her husband was dead, and the last true conversation she had with Glimmer was an argument. Hug your mom kids, you never know when you'll have that opportunity again.

This finale has a lot of parallels to the series finale, especially with Adora being convinced her destiny means she needs to be a martyr. That's Shadow Weaver talking through her, something we see in full force in season 5. While Angella here stops her from sacrificing herself, she still has that warped view of what her destiny is, and it takes Catra to finally show her the real way.

That spin is when I started shipping Glimbow.

This final speech by Queen Glimmer is another great example of how the show hides sinister meanings behind normal dialog. Any other show and we'd be cheering when Glimmer focuses on defeating the Horde, but we know the blind devotion to that goal has so many consequences in waiting.

Both Catra and Glimmer look great in their new clothes, it's a fantastic way to show how much they've grown.

The Valley of the Lost is another one of those great more episodic episodes, it's still connected to the whole story but we also get to take a little break and enjoy some a new local with a Star Wars feel with fun antics with Perfuma, Huntara, and Double Trouble. I wasn't sure about DT when I first heard about them, seemed too late to add a new major character, but they're an absolute blast and help give season 4 it's own identity.

Catra's nightmares are just the start of this season's take on her character, this is where we really dive into how unhappy her actions are making her.

Mayor of Elberon got the biggest glow up of the show

I love how, just, done Adora is with Catra. No more playful teasing, Adora is here to defeat Catra and save the town, nothing else.

Double Trouble is a really fun character, but I'll be the first to admit they aren't good representation. It's bad enough they're the "only nonhumans can be non-binary" architype, but also that they're a creepy masculine trans person who pretends to be a cute girl to get on people's good sides... Yikes. It's a genuine complaint, and one of those criticsms you just have to accept.

We finally get to see some character for Spinnerella and Netossa! They're relationship is one of the big keystones of the season 5 conflict, so it's really important that we had this episode to get to know their chemistry.

Oh Shadow Weaver, how I love you. She's decided Catra and Adora don't have anything left to give her anymore, so she's switched to the vulnerable and easily manipulated new orphaned queen. Glimmer's one track mind on defeating the Horde makes her an ideal target, and Shadow Weaver is again successful in bending a child to her will.

The Glimmer and Catra fight! Glimmer's arc parallels Catra's, especially in this season. Of course she never falls as far as Catra, but I do love that we get just a taste of how this war can sour even the cute sparkle girl.

This final moment with Catra and Double Trouble, amazing. Catra has been mowing through friends, she's already pushed away all the genuine ones, and she's realizing that it sucks to be with people who aren't.

Best way to set up a sympathetic villain, give them a girlfriend lol. Light Hope is tragic, her programming tells her to protect and serve She-Ra, but also to follow her directive. It's something that conflicts in her psyche, and is another strong-suit of this show and it's masterfully written villains.

Princess Scorpia is one of the best episode of the series. Sure the Glimmer drama is nice, but Scorpia... Wow. The remnant of genocide raised in the most toxic place on the planet is the most kind, loving, loyal person to have ever lived. And yet she still chooses to leave. Catra was her crush, someone she saw herself with and promised to be by forever, but even she knows when there isn't anything left she can do. It's a wonderful message and a fantastic episode for one of the best characters in the show.

Mer-Mysteries is actually really well crafted, up until this point all the funny joke episodes have been self contained, but here that's subverted. It's shocking to see Mermista joking around throughout the episode only for it to end with her in utter shock and fear at seeing her home destroyed. Plus the reveal of Double Trouble is great.

Neither Hordak nor Angella was fully invested in winning the war in the first two seasons. It's a good way to escalate tension, as now the Horde's victories make a lot of sense because Hordak is suddenly extremely motivated to win thanks to Horde Prime. It makes the war the first season made such a big deal out of seem paultry in comparison to the slaughter we see now.

I love Sea Hawk so much, he's genuinely funny and endearing.

Bow singing to himself may be one of the most depressing moments is the show. This whole arc of Glimmer and Adora falling out is mostly set-up for Glimmer's choice to activate the heart alone, but it's still really well done and something I really enjoy watching. Something about two friends blowing up at each other, ripping each other apart while the third is left in the ruins is just the angst I can't resist. Catra realizing winning the war isn't giving her the closure she craves and finding out about Scorpia leaving is also a perfect parallel.

Mara is revealed to be a hero all along, what Light Hope painted as a crazed lunatic turned out to be a woman who saved the universe from her own people. It's a beautiful message, and the emotional attachment we feel with her and Razz causes the tears to well up again for what feels like the hundredth time.

The three cadets are great this season, not only do they get some time to shine but they also show how Catra's tyrannical rule is hurting the soldiers beneath her.

I love the moment where Glimmer pulls out the queen card. It's culmination of her arc since the second season, she is finally letting her hatred of the Horde consume her. That shot, the slow piano as it zooms in on her backlit by the fire. Probably one of my favorite scenes in the entire show.

This episode is a monster on my heart, the juxtaposition of Scorpia finally finding the support and kindness she deserves while Catra is suffering the consequences of her own actions. That one shot, a Catra smiling at the news of winning the war only to zoom out at a destroyed room where she collapses on the floor choking on her own tears is a masterpiece.

Even Beast Island gets a glow up

Beast Island is beautifully Eldritch. A place that sucks away your fortitude and will until you're absorbed into it like a digesting stomach. The show does have a lot of moments where it really messes with the character's heads and I love it.

When the signal begins to take over, Bow feeling like he failed Glimmer, Micah realizing his wife is dead, Adora giving into her insecurities, Entrapta being overcome by the betrayal she's faced, all their eyes going gray and dead. It's emotional and terrifying, something this show excels at.

Shadow Weaver spends so much time manipulating children you'd think she'd have it down to a science, but it doesn't seem to ever work out for her in the end, does it?

Entrapta is a great character because every time she exposits she just sounds so enthusiastic, even when she's revealing terrifying truths, like how Adora's "noble destiny" is to exist as the universe's most dangerous gun.

I love how Double Trouble only had to tell Catra that She-Ra wasn't at Brightmoon, their scenes with Hordak and Catra was just for the drama. We got a great fight and Catra finally getting vibe checked, so I have to say DT well done. Their methods are cruel, but hearing someone say to her face that it's her fault people leave her, mixed with the dissatisfaction of winning while alone is the catalyst for Catra's redemption.

Light Hope is revealed to be the one who stole away Adora, the one who forced her destiny on her. Horde Prime may have been the final big bad, but Light Hope was the one responsible for everything. And Adora breaks the sword, ending her destiny as the First One's intended and saving Light Hope from her programming.

What an ominous ending! Hordak, the big bad from season 1, is left a squabbling mess defeated in seconds, and we are faced with a huge and terrifying new universe with seemingly no hope of going against. The stakes are the highest they've ever been, and even already knowing what happened it makes me excited for what comes next.

#she ra #spop #analysis

[scientificphilosopher]

Mental Health and General Life Advice Gained Over the Years

Here is a list of some things I’ve learned over the years that have, I think, helped me live a better life

Be flexible in my narrative. When I say things like ‘I’m just an anxious person,’ or ‘I suck at confrontation,’ then I risk fixing onto this narrative rather than managing it in a healthy way. I become unwilling to recognize instances where I’m not anxious. I ignore opportunities for growth. Instead, I find it better to foster a flexible narrative. I know it’s important to acknowledge, normalize, and even embrace my identities, but I don’t want to mistake an aspect of my identity for my identity wholesale. I’m not my anxiety. Rather, I struggle with anxiety. I’m not Depression. Rather, depression has had a formative influence on my sense of self. This, too, goes for my social identities. Identities are real, and they have very real impacts on our world and our experience, but they are not everything. To paraphrase James Baldwin, identities are like garments that ought to be worn loosely so that our nakedness—and ability to change—can still be felt.

Steep in my fallibility. The more I’ve learned about my personal fallibility—which is prodigious—the healthier my relationships and general approach to the world has become. Embracing my tendency to be biased and make mistakes has, I hope, fostered a strong sense of humility. Thank goodness, since this world is messy and complex as shit, and we are often—so very, very often—wrong about things. Or at least overly-simplistic. And because things are so goddamn complicated, it can be hard, even impossible, to see nuance. Our limited and parochial natures can lead us to ignore complexity, especially if that complexity doesn’t cast a favorable light on our beliefs about the world. I’ve developed an almost fetishistic obsession with learning about cognitive biases and the seemingly infinite number of ways my psychology leads me astray (as evidenced by the persistent string of posts I’ve made on it, like here, here, here, here, and here). Paradoxically, fully embracing and seeking out my fallibility has led me to have a much deeper understanding of the world around me. As Simone de Beauvoir says, ‘It is in the knowledge of the genuine conditions of our life that we must draw our strength to live and our reason for acting.’ My genuine condition is that of a mistake-prone, biased, and mercurial ape. (And that’s pretty cool.)

Get in touch with the messiness. Why is it important to have a flexible narrative and to embrace our fallibility? Because shit’s complex! Incredibly, intensely, bone-chillingly, awe-inspiringly complex. Our brains have evolved as taxonomy machines where we carve up the world and separate everything into nice and neat little boxes. If only things could be so simple. As it so happens, though, the world is, as William James wrote, ‘multitudinous beyond imagination, tangled, muddy, painful and perplexed.’ I have found it to be very helpful to reflect on the complexity of everything, even the seemingly simple and straightforward. 

Mindfulness exercises. ‘Mindfulness’ has, like ‘empathy,’ become a pop-psych buzzword over the last several years. This is partly because mindfulness is a very potent tool. It can fundamentally alter our day-to-day existence. There is no shortage of ancient schools of wisdom that have prescribed mindfulness as key to a meaningful existence. I’m partial to David Foster Wallace’s construction of mindfulness when he said that it is the true aim of a good education. With mindfulness we cultivate the power to choose where to focus our mental energies, to choose what has meaning and what does not. With practice, ‘it will actually be within your power to experience a crowded, hot, slow, consumer-hell type situation as not only meaningful, but sacred, on fire with the same force that made the stars: love, fellowship, the mystical oneness of all things deep down.’ In short, continued Wallace, ‘you get to decide what to worship.’

Thinking about thankfulness. Gratitude exercises are a form of mindfulness I’ve found to be especially beneficial. When I have the mental energy to do so, I try to get creative about my gratitude. I try to find gratitude in the mundane, the trivial, the invisible. It’s much too easy to be grateful for grand adventures and emotionally rewarding escapades. It can be much more difficult—but equally meaningful—to find gratitude in the humdrum, or to appreciate the infinite number of shitty things that didn’t happen to me, or to embrace the vast confluence of luck that has led me to this single moment of unadorned contentedness. This is another subject I’ve written about to a near-obnoxious extent (see some here, here, here, here, and here). I sometimes feel reservations recommending gratitude exercises, since, when things are really awful, as they so often are, it can feel patronizing and hurtful to have someone tell you that you should just be grateful. This is not my intention. The world is capricious and fucked up, far more often than it should be. This is why I try to access gratitude in the moments where things are okay. I try to seize moments of grace and calm and squeeze out those drops of thankfulness. This can add water to the reservoir that I will need to pull from when I’m thirsty and in pain. In my better moments, then, I can find gratitude, or some semblance or peace or perspective, even when I’m suffering. I can, as Nietschze wrote, ‘throw roses in to the abyss and say: “Here is my thanks to the monster who didn’t succeed in swallowing me alive.”’ And, ultimately, this has helped me get to a place where I can, more often than not, remain in a ‘contented dazzlement of surprise,’ to use Lewis Thomas’ turn of phrase.

Me and everyone I love will die. You know what else I’m grateful for? This breath. And this one. And this one. It’s pretty wild to be alive, to be a self-aware extension of nature itself. What a stunning convergence of necessary circumstance needed to randomly grant me such a privilege. And, just as it came, so it will go. Randomly and inexorably. Death awaits. There is no stopping it. Dark, suffocating, oblivion. This can be scary, of course. But it’s also motivating and contextualizing. Death is not yet here, after all. And that makes each and every breath, smile, kiss, and laugh a priceless cosmic treasure. Indeed, it is precisely because of our limited time that life is so meaningful. Emily Dickinson, as she was wont to do, summed it up eloquently when she said, ‘That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet.’

I am not free. At the very least, I am not free in the way I’ve long thought. I am a physical being, subject to the laws of nature, of cause and effect. My thoughts are not authored by some mystical volition or unrestrained willpower. I am thoroughly restrained. I am, indeed, destined to write this sentence from the very moment the cosmos silently but extravagantly whispered itself into life. Some people recoil from this idea, thinking that if our thoughts and actions are determined by external factors, then life is meaningless, and change is futile. These conclusions do not follow. Change is occurring constantly. Our actions have consequences. What we do chaotically reverberates into our surroundings. We are determined, but not fated. We have power, even if it is not free. Instead of catastrophizing and fearing the implications of our lack of freedom, I like to reflect on what this means for how I treat myself and others. A lack of freedom motivates in me a deep sense of compassion. It demands forgiveness for both my mistakes and those of others. None of us asked to be here. We are, as Heidegger said, thrown into existence, awoken to a set of determined circumstance. I am the type of person who has been able to receive an education, to have supportive loved ones, to have a functioning moral compass, a disposition for moving and meaningful emotional experiences, and to want to work to make the world a better place. But I didn’t choose to be or have any of this. This is all luck, luck, luck. From my country of birth to my balding head and hairy back to every last neuronal blast fashioning my inner life—not one atom or twist of the genetic braid was chosen exclusively by me. So, if I find myself as the type of person who doesn’t want to harm others, who doesn’t have unmanageable compulsions, who doesn’t suffer from debilitating isolation, who isn’t disproportionately oppressed by the unconscious machinations of social systems, then this, like everything and all of it, is luck, luck, luck.

Interpersonal stuff. I’ve been very lucky to have had resources in my life, including access to healthcare, a support system, and loved ones who happen to be badass psychologists and counselors. I’ve gleaned invaluable life advice from these dear friends of mine. And thank the cosmos, as such advice has proven to profoundly improve my interpersonal relationships. A couple of quick ones: avoid ‘Shoulding’ on people. When I’m upset and in pain, I typically desire a compassionate and patient ear rather than practical advice. When people come at me with ‘Well, you should do this…’ I often just feel misunderstood or further alienated. Even worse is the ‘Nike Advice,’ where someone says ‘Just do such and such…’ This often feels invalidating because if it were a matter of ‘Just’ doing something, I would’ve already done it. Things are rarely so simple. Similarly, I’ve found it helpful to listen rather than problem-solve. I will commiserate and look for solutions if that is what the person asks for, but usually, I will try to be simply present for the other person, to sit with their pain and offer my compassion and understanding. 

Meta-advice. Here’s some advice on my advice: take it with a fat, ballpark-sized soft-pretzel’s worth of salt. I am a philosopher, not a psychologist. I try to be very science- and research-driven, and I’ve been lucky to enough to draw from the hard-earned wisdom of other experts, but, nonetheless, I am not an expert myself. I try to live well. I try to be smart and kind and humble and patient, and I often fail. I am human, all-too-human. This is simply meant to be a sloppily-rendered summary of some helpful pieces of anecdotal advice I’ve gathered on my never-ending journey toward eudaimonia. Nothing more. It is non-exhaustive (this post is, like me after a night at home with a book and a DiGiornio, far too bloated), and I’m sure I’ll regret leaving out many pieces of pivotal information. But the above advice has (so far) been useful in my life. This does not mean it will be helpful for everyone. I hope, at least, that it would not be harmful. Do with it what you will, my friends, and good luck.

#nich #psychology #philosophy #life advic #mental health #eudaimonia #gratitude #mindfulness #death #mortality #long post #text #long

[takerfoxx]

Looking back, was Madoka Magica really that dark? Only three characters actually die, two of whom are later resurrected through the power of love. Blood and gore wise, most blood is offscreen, and that which is shown is fairly tame compared to other dark magical girl shows. Yet somehow, this show the show managed to hit me in the gut more than far more horrific and bloodier dark magical girl shows ever have. Why?

That doesn’t sound surprising at all, and it all comes down toexecution. 

See,people often have this false idea when it comes to “mature” stories, inthat things like character deaths, blood and gore, and suffering are thebuilding blocks of maturity. But they’re not. They’re tools, and like all tools,they can be wielded correctly and incorrectly. Quite often, less is more, andtoo much grimdark results in an edgy, tryhard mess of a thing that isn’t maturein the slightest. This is one of the reasons why Blood-C got such a negativereaction, or why Elfen Lied is so divisive. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I loveme some Elfen Lied, but even I admit that it’s a schlocky white-hot mess. Itjust so happens to be my kindof schlocky, white-hot mess.

So yeah, I know this is weird coming from the apparent king ofTouhou Grimdark (cut me some slack though, I learn as I go), but gratuitousviolence does not, in of itself, equal maturity or anything of substance. Atbest you get the adolescent view of maturity, which is just so cynical andtiresome.

Madoka Magica, on the other hand, is a different sort of beastentirely. That show’s been out for years, but I am continuously impressed byjust how well-crafted it is, and how the creators used the tools at theirdisposal to get so much out of so little.

First of all, there’s the genre itself. Now, darkdeconstructions of Magical Girl shows are nothing new. Utena had already poppedthat cherry years ago, and you already mentioned how others had…less of animpact than PMMM did. But even so, the Magica Girl genre is one that’s almostuniversally associated with little girls. So, lots of bright colors, optimism,and cute, and the good guys and bad guys are easily distinguishable, and goodalways triumphs over evil. So even if new viewers know that something is up,their guard is still automatically going to be dropped, at least a little.

Second, we have the art style. Now, this is very interesting, inthat they went with a very Hidemari Sketch sort of style, where the girls allhave designs that are cute, appealing, and very distinctive, but never goingoverboard with the cuteness to the point where it becomes obnoxious. Even withthe fairly cartoony designs, their actual movement is pretty realistic, and isnever exaggerated for comedic effect or goes super-deformed and all that.Furthermore, rare for something of this nature, they are never objectifiedand/or used for fanservice in the slightest. A more realistic or a more adultstyle wouldn’t have been nearly as effective, nor would something sexier. It’sjust enough to make you like the girls and want the best for them, but notenough to get annoying or ruin the mood with unnecessary fanservice.

So basically, to get a little neckbeardy with it, the art styleis meant to make the viewers want to protect and comfort the girls, but notstrangle them for being way too moe, or fuck them for that matter.

…

Well, I mean, lots of people still do, but it’s the internet,so…

…

Moving on.

Anyway, continuing with theanimation, let’s talk about the witches. In sharp contrast to the somewhatcartoony designed but mostly realistically animated real world, the witchbarriers go for a surreal, dream-like feel, with the weird, jerky, low framerate movements of the witches and their familiars to the bizarre designs thatstick more-or-less to aesthetic themes but still have no explanation and anoverall look that, rather than being overly and obviously dark and evil, isinstead…wrong. Off. Alien. Discomforting rather than outright scary. Thewitches are meant to clash with the characters’ animation in a way that isdeliberately uncomfortable without spilling into cheesy. I mean, puffballs withbutterfly bodies and big handlebar mustaches? Spotted mice in nurse hats? Howis that scary? But just look at how they move, how they sound, and it becomesincredibly unnerving. Even before the big episode three twist, until which PMMMcould still pass for a more standard Magical Girl show, it still stood out withjust how bizarrely disturbing its monsters are. There is something genuinelyunsettling about them, a sense of dread that just permeates their every scene,even when our heroes are victorious.

And with that, I’ve exhaustedmost of the synonyms for “disturbing.” Let’s move on.

So, we’ve gone over how theart and animation is carefully crafted to evoke a specific reaction from theviewers, but what about the story itself? Well, like what was discussedearlier, part of what makes PMMM work so well is that despite its grandambitions and epic feels, the bulk of the show is…actually pretty small. Imean, save for the universe-changing repercussions of Madoka’s wish at the veryend, most of the focus is kept away from the world at large and remains on asmall group of characters and how being sucked into the contract system affectsthem. The story revolves around these five girls and is all about theirpersonal lives, and the whole Incubator thing is portrayed as alarger-than-they-can-imagine thing that’s been going on since the beginning oftime that they can’t do anything about, so why even bother trying? For Kyubey,it’s pretty much just business as usual, with the gang just being another setof marks in a long, long line of them, to be chewed up and spat out by the cogsof his machine.

And that takes us to what youmentioned earlier, about how PMMM has fewer character deaths, less violence,and nearly no gore in comparison to other shows, but somehow manages to leave abigger impact. And that comes down to one of the most important rules aboutstorytelling: it’s not what you’re about, it’s how you’re about it. Killing offcharacters doesn’t make a story mature, hurting your characters doesn’t makeyour story mature, or even using something as risky as rape doesn’t make yourstory mature; those are just the catalysts. Rather, maturity comes fromexploring how those things affect your characters, how it changes their livesand how they change and grow in response to them. Mami’s sudden and shockingdeath had profound effects on Madoka and Sayaka, and it’s by exploring thoseeffects that it feels like it has such a big impact, in that it shatteredMadoka’s perfect world and sent her into a bout of depression while motivatingSayaka into recklessness to compensate for her guilt in not being there to helpMami and overcompensate in trying to take her place. The reveal of the MagicalGirls as liches with their souls literally contained within their soul gems wasa big twist in of itself, but by taking the time to show how it set Sayaka intoher downward spiral into self-destruction coupled with having the oppositeeffect on Kyoko by jarring her out of her self-centered nihilism and motivatingher to start reaching out to Sayaka it really does feel like it has actualmeaning beyond shock value. And their deaths become even more tragic, asKyubey’s later monologue shows that they were doomed from the beginning, andnothing other than a damned miracle was going to save anyone. And being that hehad the monopoly on miracles in that universe, the audience is left bitingtheir nails and hanging on the edges of their seats through the climax, prayingthat an out would be found while fearing that there would be none to be found.Which just makes Madoka’s loophole of a wish all the more gratifying, whilestill being bittersweet. Because a happy ending just wasn’t possible, but shefound a way to prevent an all-out tragedy, a way to alleviate the bulk of thepain. And all it cost was her earthly existence.

Anyway, we’ve talked aboutthe visuals and story direction, so now let’s talk characterization. This is yetanother place where this show shines. Becauseeven though it only had a few episodes, the relatively small cast and focus ontheir personal problems allowed for a lot of character development. It helped that,save for Madoka’s, each of their wishes was something small and easilyunderstandable. Mami just wanted to live, Kyoko just wanted people to listen toher father, Sayaka just wanted her close friend and crush to get better whiletaking up Mami’s responsibilities, and Homura just wanted to save her dearfriend, who had been one of the few people to ever give her positive attention.Hell, even Madoka’s original wish was to save a cat. And like their designs,their personalities are all distinct, balanced between likeable strengths andtragic flaws: Mami is stalwart and nurturing, but also tripped up by hercrippling loneliness. Sayaka is determine and has a strong sense of justice,but also brash and prone to self-loathing. Madoka is kind-hearted andencouraging, but held back by her lack of self-esteem. As for Homura and Kyoko,they’re introduced us when they are at their worst, but do to cleverstorytelling and exposition, we then see the goodness in them and what theyused to be, and it becomes all the more easier to understand how they becamethe way they are. And again, despite its small number of episodes, the showreally takes the time to show how these personalities bounce off each other andconflict, while also showing how the consequences of their actions change them.I really like how they did it two: the show is essentially divided into fourmini-arcs of three episodes apiece, with the main focus on a different girl perarc, with Madoka being something of a passive POV protagonist throughout the wholeshow: first it’s Mami, then Sayaka, then Kyoko, and finally Homura. And as isexpected, each mini-arc ends in a tragedy, from Mami’s death to Sayaka’srealization about the truth of soul gems to Kyoko’s final stand to Homurafeeling as if she’s lost Madoka forever. But even with all that dark, it stillends on a note that is, while bittersweet, is still optimistic. Madoka is stillgone and Sayaka is still dead, but they seem to have come to terms with that. Also,Kyoko and Mami are alive and on good terms again, Homura has something new tofight for, and the universe is a little less cruel, showing that despiteeverything, it was all worth it in the end, and all of their struggles, pains,mistakes, and tears mattered.

I could go on and on and on,but let’s sum it up with a tl;dr: Puella Magi Madoka Magica may not have had nearly the amount of death and despair as other shows and very littlegore, but it had a far greater impact because it was carefully and brilliantlyconstructed from top to bottom to hit you right where it hurts, twist theknife, and still make you thankful for the ride. And I wouldn’t have it anyother way.

#pmmm #puella magi madoka magica #Madoka Kaname #sayaka miki #mami tomoe #kyoko sakura #homura akemi #gen urobuchi

[mikazukikannagisjourney]

A Deeply Personal Post about Suicide

A very personal and dark post about depression, its relapse, and suicide**

*you have been warned*

**A post with a whole lotta trigger warnings~ STAY AWAY if you can’t, or if you must. Otherwise, thank you for taking your time reading. This is not clickbait, and definitely not for the faint-hearted. You have been warned. Don’t blame me for any negative effects**

Yes, there, I have said it. I always had the urge to write this down but I kept getting depressed over and over and I really can’t write it if I’m still in that dark, constricting place. But I am so far OK so I shall be posting this stuff. If this post prevents at least, or even just one person from taking their own life and gets a new lease in life then my broken and torn heart will have its peace. It’s harder to live and easier to die. But if you’re spiritually awakened, then the commitment to stay alive is even more pressing. I salute you for staying alive. You can do it!

OK, that’s enough cheery stuff for now. Anything beyond this point can turn dark and ugly in a manner of letters so again, if this is a strongly-triggering topic for you, and you can’t face it, that’s ok. Just stay away, till you think you can handle this. Also I wrote this on the morning of August 28, 2019 but I also had to purge the energies on this post so it would be healing more than destructive, so it pops up a day later as a queued post.

Edit: accidentally clicked POST instead. Not that I mind, I was gonna anyway. Divine realm kept nagging me so.. here you go. 😆

I *MAY* HAVE BEEN BATTLING DEPRESSION AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS SINCE I WAS A CHILD

I don’t think I have the need to completely spell out what depression is because again, the internet can do that for you. I will just focus on how it was, and is still manifesting in my life. But how did it materialized in my life then? Well... Mostly I just internalized all of my demons. If I was angry or upset or I feel envy or jealousy, I just sucked it all in. My household growing up was a battlefield of emotional suppression, thus I can’t cry, throw a tantrum, even laugh out loud for being too happy. What’s even more ironic is that I am actually a very emotional person, which made a whole lot of sense once I understood my natal astrological, human design, and gene key charts. So even if my sun was in Gemini and my ascendant in Libra, I pretty much have all the water signs in my chart as well, along with having a strong sacral center that thrives on generating emotionally-charged energy, and that’s where the waterworks come from. Thus the fact that I’m a Gemini cry-baby who gets too-emotional at just about anything makes perfect sense now.

But back to the subject at hand: Emotional Suppression caused my mental instability and depression. Because each time I had to stop expressing what I feel deep inside, I feel like I kept killing a part of me. Each time I kill a part of me, a gaping hole in my heart and soul would grow even larger. Like literally I feel chest pains as a child, which of course don’t show up on laboratory exams and thus I have been deemed healthy, a lot. I already started wanting to kill myself around 7 years of age, because I was forced to grow up quickly so I could take care of my siblings and myself. I really hated myself and the world a lot because I can’t do what I want and I can’t have anything I want, among other things. I mostly play alone, which was fine until the thoughts of wanting to die keep coming up. Maybe for some people these things are nothing, and they’ll start bragging about their own difficulties and that’s OK, I mean, what you feel will always ring true to you, no matter what the world tells you. The brain can lie to you, but your heart and your emotions never will. Feelings and emotions are always true, and what you feel is always valid. If something hurt you or made you happy, it’s because you have those things inside you. If people trigger you deliberately, then that’s on them. If you get triggered by other people, well that’s a whole other matter... BUT, whatever you do when acting under that feeling or emotion is entirely up to you, and you cannot blame other people for making you act in certain ways. Remember, YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE IN YOUR ACTIONS, THUS THE CONSEQUENCES ARE ALSO OF YOUR OWN DOING. The bottomline is: PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GLOB DON’T PLAY DOWN WHAT I AM WRITING HERE AND SAY THAT I’M IN THE WRONG. This entire thing is a personal account, and it’s mine. I get to write this thing because the whole thing is based on what I have experienced. *see? I told you I easily get emotional lol*

I got sidetracked, I apologize. OK, now back to regular programming

Anyway, thoughts of killing myself got even more intense, especially with not meeting parental expectations as well as neglect, abandonment, and rejection issues that popped up as time went on. To be honest though, I was, and still am a bit surprised that I haven’t taken my own life then, and up to this point. Either it’s because I am highly-sensitive to pain *my pain threshold is quite low*, or because I am still trying to find ways to kill myself without the hassle or pain. Basically I fear pain more than death. I guess that’s one of my major motivators for not choosing to end it yet. I just hate physical pain in all forms, even more so right now. So even if it kills me inside, I try to live one day at a time. Back then, I had to live because my siblings need me to cook their food, and I had to do my sister’s homework (she has autism spectrum disorder, which my parents just chose to ignore because they have no idea how to interact with special needs).

How is depression connected with suicide? Well, for one thing the hopelessness, helplessness, feeling worthless, or thinking that living is not worth it can just push a person to the edge. I am quite familiar because I have lost a sizeable number of people ranging from relatives to friends, to classmates and even a work trainee from suicide. I haven’t even counted those who died from natural deaths, those who got killed either in combat or by rebels, or through illnesses. The suicide-related ones just affect me so much because I felt survivor’s guilt, because I haven’t ended my life yet and these “seemingly-happy” people did. My stomach got all knotted up right now, just thinking about it. Especially when I recalled the trainee that killed themselves due to depression. I didn’t mentor them personally but I sorta felt that this person had depression and again, I didn’t reach out. Even then when I was already aware of being an empath and all that jazz. I just gave myself a break after sometime because to be honest, I had no idea how to heal others back then. So... Yeah. But still, survivor’s guilt is real.

RELAPSE ISSUES CONCERNING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS (HOW I HAD THEM)

This is the part where I will be explaining based on my own experiences why some people who were openly-depressed that “seemed” to have gotten a lot happier and brighter suddenly end their own lives with no warnings. Not sure about other people’s ideas, living or dead, but for me, it’s all about the relapse.

Depression relapse, that is. You may be much more familiar with alcoholics or drug-addicts who went to rehab, got all better *or so it seems* but then goes to relapse and either ends up getting even more addicted or worse, having an overdose and dying. Well, again, this is based on my own experiences but for me, because I am not on any kind of medication for my chronic depression so naturally, despite all my conscious efforts on fending it off, it comes back, with a vengeance. All the pain that I feel, all the thoughts that consume what small speck of happiness I have left become even stronger than before, and whatever I did to relieve myself of the pain just stop working no matter how many times I do it. Everything just feels sucky and my pains do not get relieved. I just cry and cry and let the wave pass, allowing a bit of relief, but then they just come back in waves of endless and bottomless anger and feelings of doom and gloom. It feels like I’m forever falling into the abyss of nightmares and frankly, the only solution I see clearly at that point is again, killing myself. Again, because I’m scared of pain, I did whatever I can to escape the pain, thus me ending up learning a lot of bankable and unbankable skills that, quite frankly amused some people I meet once the depression has been controlled somewhat and I got to socialize again.

If I survive long enough to at least raise my happiness levels a bit, I can continue to live, even for a day. I just tell myself “Well, I guess I’ll just have to die another day.” For each time that I tried to escape my pain and my urge to kill myself, I find something new to experience, learn, and have fun with. Thus, the skills I have, the dumb experiences I had, the movies and shows I gave so much of my love to, the ties to people I hold dearly, were not only borne out of a small curiosity, but mostly to prevent myself from ending my life right now. I don’t know how people will react to that, but for me, my hobbies, my passions, are not just due to the fact that these things are worthwhile. For me, these are my LIFELINES. If I didn’t have them, I MIGHT HAVE DIED A LONG TIME AGO. These are also the reasons why despite how many people or the public would shame other people for having weird hobbies or passions, I just let them be happy. I like seeing passionate people, because not only do they look so happy and pure, but also because for me, that might also be their lifeline. So that they CAN STAY ALIVE, because LIFE SUDDENLY HAS MEANING. And who am I to tell them what they or what they cannot do? *unless it’s illegal or hurts other people deliberately, or both. I have limits*

And... Unfortunately, for some of the people who took their own life out of their own accord they may not have been fully aware of it, but when they got out of the funk, they might have thought that YES I AM NOW FREE FROM ALL THAT GUNK. I’M GONNA BE HAPPY, I CAN LOOK FORWARD TO THE FUTURE, ETC. ETC. but noooope, depression is pretty clingy. It comes at the most inconvenient time, right about the time when you thought you’re almost at your goal, or at the time when you feel like you’re about to have that breakthrough. Once anybody who has been recovering from depression falls back into it, the urges, the pain, everything just gets even worse. Everything sucks maybe a hundredfold compared to last time, maybe a million times more. Everything just feels so overwhelming, and heavy, and it cuts through your entire being. The way out just got caved in and now there is no way out other than suicide. THAT FEELS AND SEEMS LIKE THE ONLY WAY. And for some of these people who actually take the plunge and succeed, this is the part where their loved ones who were left behind would comment things like “But I thought they were happy.. They were looking forward to the future.. They had so many plans.. They weren’t showing any signs...” etc. etc. Of course they won’t, and they probably had plans. If anything, they probably wanted to get out of the funk for the rest of eternity. BUt DEPRESSION IS ONE CLINGY F****R my friends, seriously. It is. It will slam everything in your face if it isn’t properly handled, either though holistic means or modern medicine methods, it will certainly choke out the light of any person who just do not have the means to fight it, let alone keep it at bay. Especially when it gets pushed aside. A lot. Each time you succeed at pushing it away or dealing with it, if it creeps into your being, even through just a small crack, it comes to you with a force stronger than a wrecking ball. It’s more of an avalanche. And it will bulldoze anything away till the entire path has been completely covered. Still scary as heck. Thus with each round of its return, it gets more and more strong, thus the need for better ways of fending it off. Or better yet, just facing it head on by all means necessary.

FACING (MY) DEPRESSION HEAD-ON (BY ALL MEANS NECESSARY)

Disclaimer: Again, before I start this section, I will remind everyone that this entire post is all my personal experiences as well as my own opinions on this matter, so please do not take this as a medical or health advice. You can take this as a spiritual advice and you can even ask me about it. I’m glad to help. Other than that, please seek professional help. BY ALL MEANS NECESSARY. I am not responsible for any losses of any kind due to following my own personal methods here, any bodily harm or mental injuries sustained by the end user are done of their own accord, and I am not liable for such losses. Everything here with regards to methods are RISKS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

OK. Now that’s out of the way, I will now write here how I deal with my own depression and suicidal thoughts,assuming that I’m still here. I’m not saying that I will not kill myself yet, but I am fully aware that other things can kill me and therefore those won’t count. Also, I haven’t watched the entire Fantastic Beasts franchise yet, and my need-to-watch anime and series lineup is still long, plus Avatar The Last Airbender is gonna be on Netflix next year so nope, I still need to live. 

Kidding aside, here is what I USED TO DO whenever the relapse comes in full-swing:

Binge-watch anything I’m interested in

Binge-read whatever is available

Binge-doing whatever activity I’m into at the moment (drawing, reading Tarot cards, learning Japanese, cooking weird food, etc.)

Binge-like anything on my tumblr feeds

Get super-obsessed with the canon and headcannon biographies of fictional characters (Hi wikia and AO3 lolol)

Cry and cry and cry even if I don’t know why (It doesn’t even matter how hard I try lolol did you sing that part in your head lol kidding I am trying to lighten up things here)

Of course, after doing all of these, I eventually end up wanting to die because the problem or the cause of my depression remains unsolved. Notice that I didn’t put “contacting close friends” or “connecting to loved ones” there. Because I don’t. I was never raised to ask for help, I was raised to do shit alone. And that also killed a huge part of me because quite frankly, I know that I need help but whenever I tried to reach out I get put-out or shushed, so eventually I never bothered to ask for any help. I just stuck it out all alone. While this method is typically great for doing GROUP PROJECTS by yourself (and cursing the other members out loud or in your head), this is definitely NOT ADVISABLE when dealing with mental health issues. Of course I didn’t know these back then, there was no internet, I didn’t have friends or relatives to talk to, plus I had no idea (or the people around me for that matter) that I was actually depressed. At 7 years old. Maybe 6. Around that time. This was in the early 90s.

But in this day and age, thanks to the internet, more and more information can be shared. Even better is that support groups are actually available, and you can join forums too, so people get to share so many stuff. Of course, I tried that, and it worked for about 6 months before I realized that in most groups I joined in, they weren’t exactly dealing with the depression in the most empowering way, so I got stuck in the victim mentality for a very long time. And the cycles of off-on depression mode kept getting worse each time. That’s when I decided to do things differently, and again, without drugs. FACING THE DEMONS IN MY HEAD is what I call it.

These are currently my go-to combination of methods when dealing with a depression relapse:

Shadow Work - Originally by Carl Jung, the principle is basic: identify the parts of yourself that you rejected due to external pressure, and heal them by understanding why it was rejected and suppressed, releasing the emotional charge by crying it out or something to that effect, and accepting that rejected part fully and without any regret. These aren’t the exact steps by Jung, but I just modified the method for myself. It’s pretty harsh because you need to face past trauma without any emotional attachments, and well, it can also do more harm than good. Only recommended to be done with a professional. Unless you’re a masochist. Just search the internet for Carl Jung and Shadow work for more info, I’m sure it’s quite famous.

Inner child healing - same as previous, but this time focusing more on the inner child (duh). Usually anything that persists for me, I would readily attribute to inner child issues so I would go to that part of myself and relive the trauma. Then pat my inner child and hug her till I stopped crying. By the way, crying is definitely included in almost every step. It’s soothing and also is a great way to transmute trauma. Provided that you’re fully aware of how the trauma happened and you’re able to release it fully. Again, if symptoms persist, consult a professional.

Kundalini Yoga and Meditation - amazingly there are many methods or kriyas and some are for dealing with depression. I call this method “killing two birds with one stone”, mainly because you get a real hard-core workout especially the upper body, and you lift your spirits up. Just search the internet for various methods, but I think 3HO is the one-stop shop for binge-reads. Again, crying is very much a part of this method because at some point, it will all just flow out.

Sound therapy - crystal singing bowls, gongs, tingshas, binaural sounds, isochronic music, subliminal messages, the works. I usually go to Youtube and just binge whatever I need at the moment. Sometimes I feel at peace, other times I just randomly cry. It just happens.

Energetic healing - again, there are numerous methods. I usually go for Reiki since it works for me, and because I can channel a bit more energy either from the original video or music, or on my own. Crying is again, an optional but very helpful step.

Emotion Code - This is the latest method I have learned, and tried. Created by Dr. Bradley Nelson, this method allows suppressed emotions, those you experienced yourself as well as the ones you inherited to be released from your body. You only need this chart, a fridge magnet, and determination. Also crying, if you can.

The stuff in my WHAT I USED TO DO list. - Seriously, self-healing depression is a very tiring and exhausting activity. Please, by all means, make yourself happy. In fact, YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY TO SURVIVE THIS GRUELLING ACTIVITY. Whatever means necessary. Don’t worry, I won’t judge.

Other methods I tried in the past:

Parts work - It is like Shadow Work, but the rejected parts of your self have different age groups. I discovered it before Shadow work and for a while I tried my best to do it, but I still didn’t mesh with it after 2 months so I did Shadow Work instead. Maybe I’m just not cut out for it. I recommend the late Pete Gerlach’s website for more info and even methods and stuff. Super-educational, with some drawbacks. Still it maybe useful for others so please take a look.

Diet adjustments - Some say that food and nutrition affects moods,and maybe yeah, because many foods do create metabolites that become converted into chemicals that eventually become hormones. But for me, it didn’t work as well as the other methods. I mean, I eat a lot of veggies and fruit even before I was depressed and spritually awakened, and quite frankly nothing in this area changed me so I don’t include this in my list.

Again, note that I still haven’t included talking to other people in my list. Because again, I just can’t accept help properly, and I still want to do things on my own. HOWEVER, I tell the people I care for the most and also care for me that I HAD a depression relapse. I tell them after I won the battle, even for that moment. It kinda helps a lot. But this time I don’t want to energetically tie myself to others, I have to transmute my own shit so people won’t have to get mine. I also shield myself so their stuff won’t stick to me. It’s how I understand how karma should be worked out of our systems, it’s a DIY thing. Otherwise you just add more karma on top of your own.

Well, I don't know how to end this post, apart from the fact that this is still an on-going process for me. Case in point, honestly I am literally crying right now as I type this last part out. It took me 5 hours to type and it's a post worth almost my entire life so far, but I hope it's all worth it, for anyone who needs help in any way. I am not glorifying depression or suicide or even addictions here, I am putting this out there as information. This post has been at the back of my mind since the Lion's gate but I relapsed and I just got back so I could write it as orderly as I can. So please, I hope this post won't be misquoted or skewed or even be taken out of context. Again, this is mostly for educational purposes only. Especially when you feel like you're in the dark night of the soul.

Anyway, I hope this was helpful in any way possible. If you need any help *spiritual and/or energetic only, not a doctor guys* just shoot a comment or a message, and I'll see what I can do.

I hope you find the healing you seek. In love and hugs from Source above.

Mikazuki

三日月

**Special Note: While this whole thing is free to heart, share, attach a link-back of the original html (href, if you know what I mean), and to cite in any style (APA, MLA, Turabian, etc.) around 10-20% of its content, please, under any circumstances, FOR THE LOVE OF GLOB DO NOT COPY AND PASTE AND DECLARE THIS AS YOUR OWN. These are my own personal experiences, basically these are parts of myself that I need to transmute in order to heal. However, as this is already an output it is now included in the do-not-steal-entirely-or-else sections of the internet. Especially for people who just simply steal other people’s work as their own. I used to work as an editor and even now I do my best to cite sources, or at the very least insert links to sources that I actually used. Be respectful of content creators, large or small. Don’t take away from us the things that we made with all of our hearts. Those are the only things that help keep us up. Also, because you have no right do that you know. And just a reminder, Karma is a real b****. Just saying. Thank you very much for understanding. PS. If you found the information in this post to be very helpful, insightful, and of great value to you and your own personal journey, please feel free to reblog, share and heart/like, or if you feel super-generous, energetic exchanges are welcomed! Please click here and use this email address: [email protected] you so much and be blessed!

#suicide post #a post about suicide #a post about depression #depression post #suicide #depression #relapse #also a post on why seemingly-happy people suddenly kill themselves #to put it lightly #why happy people commit suicide #why seemingly-happy people commit suicide #my personal experience #my personal experience on being suicidal #my personal experience on depression #how is depression connected to suicide #how is relapse connected to suicide #how is relapse connected to depression #some suggested ways of dealing with depression #but first seek medical help #seriously #spiritual awakening and depression #spiritual awakening and suicide #depression and suicide

[the-nysh]

I find myself unable to think of Bakugou in any way more positive than "dislike", because he reminds me too much of the people who made my life miserable when I was growing up. (Not that it makes him bad; it's just my emotions.) Do you've any advice on how to bend my mind around that? I don't need to LOVE him, just mentally separate "him" and "the people who make grade school suck for me" so I won't irrationally hate him, because I don't LIKE hating characters.

Hi there! I’m glad to see you come forward, especially tosomeone who’s a big fan of him, after happening to see how far you’veventured through my tags already (whoa dedication!) to seek possible answers or further clarity about this,especially if it’s something that’s still bothering you, oraffecting/preventing you from fully enjoying the series. Because of that, I cantell how serious and genuine you feel about this, so I will take this seriouslyas well. 

(Below, 1800+ words)

Another thing is that it’s okay to feel this way, your personal experiences are still valid,and there’s no obligation to force your feelings otherwise, or subject yourselfto content that may be uncomfortable for you. Please continue to take all theprecautions needed (blocking/blacklisting) for an enjoyable and productivefandom experience. But understanding that even if the characters may havecoincidental similarities to our pasts, they are not direct projections of us, the people in our lives, or our realities.Their world is not ours. So this awareness is another good step to have, tobegin seeing the story (and characters) more openly, objectively and closer tohow Hori originally intended.

Since you’re willing to learn more, and as you may have already seenfrom my content here, Bakugou (Kacchan)became my definitive fav character of the series, but not for thoselingering resentments mentioned. The compelling character I see is so much morebeyond that first ch’s established baseline, which was narratively placed and designedto contrast against who he becomes later on. As a means to gauge and appreciatehis growth and the journey of how far he’s changed into becoming a proper,well-rounded, better person and inspirationalhero. The kind of emotional narrativefocus that always gains my interest and priority to see develop. Already, theperson he is now at 215+ chs is not the same as who he was at ch1 (neither ishe the flanderized, fanon stereotype many have been misled or indoctrinated tofirmly believe he is), and he will keepon developing as the story marches on. I am fully on board to witness thathappen. 

The challenge now, is not letting his initial baseline impression(or the feelings from your own separate –but equally valid– experiences, oreven the vitriol from others) stain or cloud that entire slow-burn progressionof the story going forward. Otherwise the important milestones and insightsinto his character that Hori leaves along the way (which can sometimes bedifficult to see from Deku’s limited pov) end up getting obscured, ignored, oroutright rejected from an internalized feeling of ‘hatred’ that tends to blockout anything newly introduced that would challenge that preconceived perceptionof him. However, to mentally reject such change and prevent the valuedimprovement of a growing person (a learning child in his formative years, forinstance), to otherwise keep the status quo static and unmoving, to permanentlystay rooted exactly the same way as thestart…would in fact be a much more toxic/harmful mindset to have, and actuallydefeats the purpose of telling a proper story as well. 

Setbacks to that challenge unfortunately include thewidespread availability of biased mistranslations (even from official sources),poor/oversimplified characterizations from non-canon content(movies/novels/merch, etc) that’s not written directly by Hori, because all thesethings just reinforce and exacerbate the problem of inflating fanon stereotypesand those preconceived notions that people have already solidified in theirminds as true (when they often aren’t). It gets even worse, and ironicallyhypocritical, when those same people start feeling justified they can go out oftheir way to attack others (includingthe author) for how to ‘properly’ enjoy and interpret the series (for beingdifferent or ‘incorrect’ from the perceptions they believe to be right). Butwhat’s happened is they’ve begun to blindly act on feelings multiple levels sofar removed from what actually is (whatexists as presented within canon, vs what they believe in fanon, vs what exists separately that may beplaguing these people’s real lives), that by then, that kind of maladjustedsocial behavior is inexcusable. Stepping back and realizing when things start crossinglines irrationally out of hand, to prevent that kind of behavior from happeningin the first place, (and again, by taking measures to block/blacklist stuff thataggravates or makes you feel uncomfortable), is the much wiser approach toparticipating and enjoying fandom. So that no matter what happens or what otherssay, they can’t impact or ruin what you love about the series.

Which in my case, includes Kacchan’s character. Basedon what Hori has consistently presented in canon, I can conclude and freely admithe’s the only character I can fully trust. Amazing, right? Because he hasabsolutely nothing to hide. Everything he does (not through his harshwords/temperament, but through his genuine actions),is extremely forthright and honest. He does not half-ass things or hide anyother ulterior motives or malicious intent beyond his dedication to become the best hero. And he takes that goal very seriously. Striving for and expectingexcellence from himself (and all themental pressure that self-imposed perfectionism brings) and others. Currently in the manga that includes Deku now too, whomhe willingly goads (showing support in his own way) and checks in on for hisprogress too.

Remember his fights in the sports tournament, how he takesall challengers with equal commitment/opportunity (gender does not matter),provided they give him their best inturn as well, because to do otherwise –to go easy on them or hold back– wouldbe disrespectful and underestimating an opponent. There’s a very just and admirablehonor in that. Remember how he can’tstand anyone looking down on him, which includes how he misinterpreted Deku’sfeelings of admiration for disdain(he could not accurately read Deku’s intentions, and became so perplexed by himthat he assumed the worst: that Deku looked down on him instead). Considering the level of seriousness and effort he alwaysputs forth, to be confronted with the opposite would be personally insulting.

Remember when the villains invited him to join their ranks(because they misread and shallowly judged his character), he stuck to his idealsand outright refused their offer.(Boldly exploding villains in the face~) Risking death over playing it safe andlying to pretend to follow along totheir whims. (How brave and badass is that?!) Kacchan does not lie, cheat theeasy way out, or do things he’s not feeling or doesn’t agree with. Again, honesty. Becoming a villain, a traitor,or betraying those who’ve earned his trust? Absolutely no chance. Afterlearning AM’s secret and finally understanding/rectifying everything that didn’tadd up about Deku, would he go behind their backs by breaking promises? No way.Again, most trustworthy character. 

Rereading the story a second time over, but from his perspective, practically doubled myappreciation and enjoyment of the series. Thinking about how the foundations oftheir society impacted his world views at such a young age, to the very betrayal he must have felt thinking achildhood friend lied to him aboutsomething as important/vital as a quirk. (And if we already know how he feelsabout cheating liars…hmm, faithful loyaltynow feels like a valued trait.) Other factors include his relatable giftedchild syndrome, all the complexes born from that, and for how extremely intelligent,competent, and much more calmly calculating he is than his short temper may lead one to believe. How he was oncea ‘big fish in a small pond’, now thrust into the ocean to compete among evenother bigger fish, with the pressure to both succeed and prove himself…all whilehis previous world views are checked and challenged every step of the way.

For years he’d been valued and praised for only the promisingpotential and primary trait of his strong quirk. (The reinforcement for his badbehavior on the other hand? Not valued with the same proper attention.) Alreadythat’s an unfortunate consequence of their quirk-filled, hero-commodified society. Think of justhow shallow/fake groupies would be, or how annoying and hollow it would feel tohave people cling to him just for that (for talent and skills over his meritsas a person), and just how difficult forming genuine, natural bonds would be… (Becomingself-reliant now becomes another added pressure he has to juggle on his own.) Beforequirks had ever entered the picture and complicated things further, Deku was probablyconsidered the closest friend he had. Until…misunderstandings happened, andthen the only thing he wanted was for Deku to stay away from him. (A misconception is that Kacchan actively soughtDeku out, when it’s actually the opposite: Kacchan only reacted if Dekuencroached on him too closely.) Because he feared how Deku made him feel,forcing him to face his own shortcomings, and address perceptions of reality hedid not want to face. Because for someone he perceived as the weakest, to boldly goagainst that and do what Deku did (help him out of concern/kindness, but thatintent only read as pitying to him),made him feel even below that. And what’slower than the low of the weakest/most useless? Pretty ouch, so stop followingand stay back. Yet Deku just kept on coming back no matter what, for reasons hecouldn’t yet understand. (Deku felt genuine care and admiration for him, whichKacchan hadn’t realized, so gah, dramatic irony.) His changing feelings, correctinghis attitude, and clarifying his relationship to Deku, who continually challengesand defies his very worldview and perception of weakness, brings a whole otherfascinating draw to the series, which would take a whole other essay to fully analyze(but which many other fans have thoroughly done so already). 

Further considerations include his struggles facing other relatablefeelings. How he confronts the pain and weight of experiencing loss, survivor’sguilt, and assessing powerlessness and the inability to save situations beyondhis control. Internalizing self-doubt, hatred, failure, and inferiority…because‘if only he were stronger.’ What Isee is a child overburdened by expectations and responsibilities beyond hisyears…who has to learn to process and overcome many of those same feelings I’vealready gone through and had to come to terms with growing up. (The very reasonhe’s often and endearingly referred to as a ‘son.’) The majority of adults inhis life assumed he was already ‘strong enough’ and ‘fine’ on his own, theyneglected to give him proper mental guidance going forward (AM even admitsthis). And we unfortunately see the tragic consequences of that. But fortunately,things are getting better, and Hori’s story for him still isn’t over yet.   

Overall, what I see is the chance for an excellent,multi-layered, and well-written character to become even better. And that’s why his narrative is so particularly engaging. Doeshe remind me of the kids that once made certain social aspects of grade schoolinsufferable? No, because that’s not who he is; he’s so far removed and beyond them, that they’ve become extras whono longer matter anymore. Instead of lingering on such negatives, it’s insteadthe positive aspects about him that shine through even stronger. The fact heisn’t perfect, but deeply flawed and learning to address his shortcomings in nowmore productive ways. This progression and growth makes him interesting, and combinedwith the many other traits I’ve mentioned above, favored and loved bymany. Although ultimately I can’t change your opinion about him (that’s stillup to you to decide, and it’s ok to still dislike characters), hopefully I’veintroduced new ways of perceiving and appreciating his character for you. Tohelp see some of the positives that Deku always valued in him as a drivingsource of inspiration too: to strive hard despite life’s setbacks, and win. ‘He may be a jerk, but he’s amazing.’

#pomrania #replies #bnha #kacchan #meta #manga spoilers #long post #speaking from the perspective of him as my fav #hopefully this sheds some new light #(and i think i covered everything i wanted to say) #this is also why i mentioned before that the message of mp100’s mogami arc is important #and what i mean when i say minori’s ‘imcomparable levels of cruelty’ #because kacchan is definitely not that #but the ability to change; grow; and forgive even the worst of who people used to be #is multitudes more valuable; stronger; and daresay heroic #than regressing into a hateful vestige of a non-functioning human like mogami #that kind of message still rings true here #the fact deku still cares despite seeing the worst from him is testament to how genuine his feelings are for him too #so instead of focusing on the worst...here i explain those cherished positives too

[master-of-evil-lord-of-the-dark]

Session 4

A few weeks late on the write-up, but session 4 was a doozie.  This really was a killer session ;)  ...but in the best way possible.  I was anxious to run this particular one, but stuck to the script, and boy howdy did it pay off.  Sessions like this one are the standard to which I hold all others.

Without any further ado...

Read up on the best session I’ve run in recent history (maybe ever) beyond the cut!

From left to right:

Barton: Bugbear Barbarian

Dell Cherrycheeks: Halfling Monk

Sammel: Tiefling Ranger

Percival: Tabaxi Bard

Maiirien: Elven Sorceress

Malgath: Shadar-kai Cleric of the Raven Queen

Killgore: Triton Wizard

Malgath and Killgore’s players we late, but arrived just in time for the best part.

The session started off with the gang returning to the (proverbial) ghost town of Pike’s Retreat to continue looting exploring the place.  In their sights, they had the manor house on the east side of town.  The approached, weary of the fish-men that have been plaguing their expeditions, but things were quiet.  Before entering the manor, they decided to check out a carriage house adjacent.

Their caution allowed them to get the drop on a giant dire rat.  (Dire Wolf stats because actual dire rats are apparently weaksauce)  The giant rat summoned several rat swarms to their aide.

A battle ensued, but our heroes quickly dispatched the rodents  As they rested and caught their breath, Malgath and Killgore, having left town late, caught up, and at 7 strong, began to scope out the manor house.

(Drawing from my own notes of the hosue  notice the greenhouse on the left and the carriage house on the right.)

The center of the house was two stories, so Barton decided to hop up on a wing and try to get a good look through the window.  A 3 on the die for the roof strength and a natural 1 on investigation from Barton resulted decidedly in the roof collapsing under their feet.  They fell into a workroom on the north (left) side of the house, and summarily let the rest of the party in a side door.  Despite (or perhaps due to) their comically loud entrance, they party moved through the house with relative caution and quiet.

They moved from the workroom into the kitchen, and it was there that things started to get strange.  Dell could swear there was something behind her ... wait, no, there wasn’t anything there.  Try as she might, she could not shake the feeling that something was watching her.  And no amount of perception seemed to reveal a presence.  ...the rest of the party by contrast was absolutely certain that there was nothing amiss, but nonetheless took caution.

They discovered stairs into the basement, and resolved to explore that later. XD

Coming into the foyer, and a grisly sight was found.  The corpse of a half-elf woman, wearing ragged cloths, was stretched towards the door.  Her face and back were mangled, and one arm was missing.  The blood stairs led up the stairs towards the south side of the house, and about halfway up, her other arm (as well as a set of manacles) were found.  Malgath identified an arcane mark on the manacles as one of a variety commonly used within the Imperial penal system.

In a bout of bravery, the gang followed the trail.  And found their way to the master bedroom.  The room, as the rest of the house, was eerily silent.  They explored, and found naught but a small chest of gems, and a mundane mannequin.

Content that they had found all there was to find in the room, they began to make their way downstairs.   Maiirien, the last to leave, was attacked!  A horrific figure, not quite alive, but not quite dead, lunged from out of nowhere and stuck her in the back with a rusty cutlass.

She was alive but just barely.  (thanks to some shitty rolls and a rules fuck up by yours truly)

A fight broke out on the stairs, and the Wendigo, the hate-fueled specter of the late Pike was dispatched.

The encounter was too easy in my opinion, for what I was hoping would be a climactic fight.  In hindsight, I wasted a perfectly good opportunity to break out the legendary action and lair action rules.  They would have been quite fitting for my vision of the boss, and would have set the challenge at the appropriate level for a party of 7.

As it was, the party, relatively uninjured, was willing to continue down ... into the basement.

*DUN DUN DUN*

...the basement was actually pretty small and plain, with nothing but a few dried out wine casks.

Laaaaame.

The players naturally didn’t buy this, and searched thoroughly. ...quiet thoroughly.  And a cool nat 20 from Sammel discovered a secret passage way in the back of a large cask...

They pushed the secret door open, and discovered a magical workshop....

Two workbenches, on one, various tools and ingredients, a leather bound book, and a shiny (silvered) cutlass.  The other, cleared, save for a rune-carved slate block, various incense, and a stone statuette of a skull with a tentacle crapping around it. (The statuette being correctly dismissed as a non-magical trinket.)

As the party took stock of the room, Killgore sat down with the journal.  In it, the unidentified writer detailed their saga of research.  They were seeking a means to save the town from its misfortune, and were certain that they had found a means of securing power:  A powerful ritual for enchanting an item.  They had even commissioned a gorgeous silvered cutlass for the occasion.  However, they had become uncertain due to an unspecified “great cost” to the ritual, and it seems that it had never been attempted.

A round of arcana checks, and the book for cross-reference, and the group was certain that the ritual was ready.

The question hung in the air: Would they attempt it?

The group was divided, and with the facts laid out, all I could do was sit back and smile while the debate raged on.  Character motivations were put to the test, and player curiosity weighed heavily.  Barton and Percival were having none of it.  Dell was a little curious, but anxious, Malgath was ambivalent.   Maiirien was curious, but relatively cautions. Sammel kept flip flopping, but eventually curiosity seemed to be getting the better of him.  Killgore was 100% in favor and chomping at the bit.  

Eventually, Barton and Percival went outside, and Malgath waited upstairs (in earshot, lest his services were needed)  Sammel and Dell took up defensive positions in the doorway with Maiirien, and Killgore began the ritual (on one of Sammel’s hand-axes per his request)

As the incense were lit, a darkness encompassed the room, and the house, and the porch.  Motes of of purple light floated in the air around the ritual.  After a minute, they coalesced into the axe, and all the players rolled a d20.

Sammel rolled the lowest.

The energy at the table was palpable.  After all of this build up, EVERYONE wanted to know what was going to happen next.  Naturally, I decided that this was an excellent time for a break. XD

...but not JUST because I’m a sadistic fucker who was enjoying the tension.  I also needed to take Sammel’s player outside and explain what was about to go down...

We stepped outside, and I told him, “Ok.  You’re dead.  Completely, totally, flatlined.  Sorry.  However!  Your soul has been sucked into the axe.  You are fully aware of this fact, and can perceive the area around it.  Moreover!  You can psychically communicate with anyone holding it.”

The player, to his massive credit, was LOVING this.  I could not have asked for a better victim, because he simply REVELED in the absurdity that we were about to unleash on his unsuspecting partymates.

We went inside, and the game resumed.  As the ritual finished, there was a dull thump, and in the doorway, Sammel collapsed to the ground.  Dell and Maiirien moved in to check on him, and no pulse was discovered.  As the full weight of what had happened hit them, Killgore moved in to pick up the sparkling new axe.

“Ok,” I said, “so two things happen simultaneously.”  Killgore’s player, who all night had been gleefully charging headlong into everything, stared at me excitedly.  He full well expected Something Bad, but was too busy having fun to care.  “First, you realize this is a NICE AXE now.  It possesses an unnatural balance, and almost hums in your hand.  You have no doubt that this is an incredible weapon to fight with.  Secondly...” and I turn to Sammel’s player who didn’t miss a beat.

“You hear just a string of cursing.” he says.

Looks of incredulity abounded, as the group realized with shock and horror what had happened.

The Sammel-axe was passed around, and many courses of action were proposed.  The ritual book gave no indication as to how this process could have been reversed.  ...or even how it happened.  One suggestion was to put Sammel’s corpse on the slab, but the characters, vaguely aware of the random nature of the ritual, were weary of unforseen consequences...

Malgath wanted to bury the body, so that proper dues could be paid, but this idea was (fortunately!) shot down in the hopes that this effect could be undone.

In the meantime, Sammel was thoroughly enjoying bossing around whoever happened to be their bearer. (And we were presented with a unique insight into how the personalities of sentient weapons come to be)

Eventually, the party decided to call it a day and return to town.  Someone told Barton, who was currently holding the axe, to throw it with the corpse while they lug it back to town and figure out what to do.  Barton, with a peculiar pragmatism, walked over and proceeded to bury the axe blade-first in the chest of Sammel’s corpse.  With a start, Sammel, now returned to their original (albeit bleeding from the chest) body sat bolt upright.  At first, the gang kind of wanted to just leave it there, for fear that tampering would kill him again, but when I suggested that this would result in a permanent docking of Sammel’s maximum hp (as might be expcted from keeping a gaping chest would open), they began to experiment.  Sammel himself removed it, and seemed to be fine, but once he put it down, collapsed dead once again.  Some belligerence from Barton (who coveted the powerful weapon) resulted in another axe wound (very nearly damaging Sammel’s tiefling body irreparably), but some experimentation was completed and the specifics of the magic became established:

So long as the axe is on Sammel’s person, he will feel, appear, and behave alive.  The instant it leaves his possession however, he will become mortician-certifiably D E A D ...and his soul will be back in the axe.  Currently, it has been identified as a +2 axe.  Powerful (insanely!) but perhaps worthwhile for something that is lethal if disarmed...

#what even are power levels #lol #but actually #I will watch this weapon closely #not that I'm expecting a light melee weapon to be game breaking for a bow ranger #Dungeons and Dragons #d&d #d&d 5e #Session Reports #lol tags lol

[chariflare]

end of work week so No Brain Energy for a “full post” so here’s just like. a brain dump of stuff i liked and disliked about 7 deadly sins (s1). pretty spoiler-y

dislikes (so that we end the post on the most tasty part of the meal)

they give melio.das a flaw of “repeated sexual offender” with the same level of gravitas and plot-irrelevance that ya authors make their self-insert protagonists “clumsy” (i.e. it’s written as a “flaw” but doesn’t affect the plot and is often used for ““comedic effect””). unlike clumsiness though, repeatedly groping women should get a person arrested. thanks

elizabeth is still a damsel

jericho. not the feminist take that the author thinks she is. awful

ultimately the cool female villains turn out to be not that strong or important, and also get love interest’d with members of the main heroic cast (& both’s motives depend on a man)

depending on how her character arc ends up diane’s obsession with wishing she wasn’t a giant is kinda uncomfortable

i don’t mind that elaine looks young-ish but i find it uncomfortable that she has an anime kid voice to top it all off (in jp...?)

gil.thunder’s side-switch wasn’t appropriately established and his og character sucks. years of acting as a moustache-twirling bishie villain don’t appear to have affected his psyche in a meaningful way, and it’s impossible to come away knowing what he’s supposed to act like now

final villains of the first arc are BORING (i think they get more characterisation after they come back to life lmao)

usual shonen bullshit that is both a draw to the show and also makes threat levels kind of ridiculous and non-existent after a certain point (getting bogged down in endless fights, people coming back to life, refusal to acknowledge that maybe their society’s awful power structures are the problem, rapidly changing definition of “the most powerful villain EVER”, etc.)... all encompassed in one pig death fakeout

the weird fatphobic king thing

tiddy outfits. (though i don’t mind didane’s actually?)

more generalised misogyny

the most important hetero ships this season are mediocre

if you know king arthur shit you will know that everyone’s loosely based off of characters from arthurian myth. if you don’t know you will be so pissed when king arthur the 16yo sports anime character shows up to be like “YOUR NEXT ARC IS HERE”

holy SHIT the second opening song is so bad. it’s so bad y’all (the the first op for comparison)

likes

all the characters are adult colleagues (above everything else) and they act like it. (they’re... kind of found family nakama but there’s a bit more there.) they’re all unique, respected, practiced masters of their craft from the beginning of the story

gula & jericho for the when they were threatening were REALLY cool. i am so psyched at the thought of a random minor young female villain who is so badass & dedicated to the evil cause she’s willing to enter a near-death state to chase some random losers into hell. gula’s outfit slaps

(cw: suicide) ban is a really neat character. he’s like... an interpretation of a “vampire curse”. he was never really happy before he achieved immortality (seeking it only because ”if you live long enough, something good might happen to you eventually, i guess”), and getting it (by accident) only made him Worse - more self-destructive and more isolated from the people around him. he often can’t bring himself to care about much of anything, other people don’t care about him, and ultimately his existence is so fucked up and he’s laden with so much guilt that he doesn’t care about himself either. but he’s also a fun guy! incredibly powerful! will help you beat up your abusive dad! probably bi! also he has his tits out at all times and who am i to say no 2 that

personality: part of the reason that he’s isolated from other people (and othered) is his social class... but a main part of it is how his childhood kind of, created his personality. he doesn’t really connect to social norms (or laws), has niche interests, and has a “weird”, disconnected personality (again, made way worse by living 100 years past his lifetime). that being said, he’s not emotionally unintelligent, has interests outside of fighting, and is ultimately a good person

(maybe don’t read this one if you’re interested in watching? it’s all spoilers) Depression: ban willingly runs head-first into danger not just bc it’s a valid fighting technique for someone who can’t die but bc he’s... too ready to give up. but this reveal is only interesting bc it comes after like. a period of getting along with the group, being friends and having fun. ultimately hanging out with them hasn’t solved his problems - it’s just made him able to put them aside for a little while... until his trauma gets brought up, at which point he’s willing to take the first hint of an easy exit, despite how unlikely it is that it’d achieve his supposed goal, if it just lets him relieve himself of his guilt and existential suffering by letting him believe for just one second that he can fix all of the things that he “broke” with his own death (note: killing melio.das would have broken his heart and probably have been suicide by proxy). (this causes a lot of trouble and is not framed as positive, but it’s also not framed as all his fault. and he has to deal with the consequences of this? he realises in retrospect that it was an incredibly unsound idea? and lEAVES THE GROUP BC HE REALISES HE HAS TO TAKE A BREAK???)

comparing ban to a traditional vampire arc: unlike with vampires (who are often an allegory for a group of people, e.g. rich people or oppressed groups) there’s only one ban. and therefore instead of having a group with the same trauma he just suffers alone

meaningful conflict between the main characters. i don’t think i’ve ever really gotten this in a shonen show? there’s a LOT of unresolved trauma. the characters still work together bc they’re Adults... but it’s simmering

ban <-> meli: meli is the only person besides elaine who ever really understood ban... but that doesn’t mean that ban’s ok, now (in fact, the resentment about only being understood by one person kind of makes him... worse). (e: meli also has connections to the rare fantasy creature which started ban’s life hell). ban has too much damage to the point that he becomes a liability

ban <-> king: resolved early, but still good. king is convinced that ban is the cause of all of his suffering partly bc he’s too jealous to admit that smo else got close to his sister when he couldn’t; ban has enough guilt that he just Takes It. even afterwards their personalities are kind of incompatible so it’s fun to see them hang out

meli <-> (king <-> diane): relationship drama but it’s not a frustrating bc it’s relevant to each character’s flaws and Baggage (and the plot doesn’t bother to pretend that diane will end up with melio). king has a lot of guilt over accidentally (?) ghosting his family and SOME of it’s valid (but not all). king is jealous of meli for being the target of diane’s affection but also kind of lowkey thinks he doesn’t deserve her bc of the pain he’s caused her

meli <-> elizabeth <-> diane: diane KNOWS she’s not going to be in a relationship with meli but she still desperately holds onto hope. diane’s fears about being unlovable feed into her lack of self esteem as an oppressed (or at minimum, villanized) minority

elizabeth (the princess) is firmly a member of the team and her determination and character improvement is taken seriously. she DOES get badass moments BEFORE she’s revealed to be a reincarnated angel child or whatever

diane (the only female member of the 7 sins who has a big role this season) is consistently taken seriously (by the writers & other characters)

elizabeth & diane get to INTERACT!! and BE FRIENDS!!

i love elaine. first show i’ve seen that (unintentionally? & through fantasy tropes??) nails Older Sister Disease, i.e. the oldest female sibling being left to deal with all the family business, emotional and physical baggage, while all the male/younger siblings just fuck off. caring for your family members but also lowkey resenting them. they don’t invalidate her feelings even after relieving king of a little of the responsibility for her suffering. (i liked the romance prequel manga a lot - i p much only picked up the anime bc i bought into the romance b/w her and ban)

(despite everything) meli.odas acts like a proper leader for his squad. he takes his responsibilities seriously and treats his colleagues as his equals

ngl the twist with gowther disguising himself and his protagonist hair as a disposable marked-for-death npc was really funny

aesthetic is unique and distinct from the overdone isekai dnd fantasy that’s popular atm

the first ed song by flow & granr.odeo cheers me up every time

the feeling of going on an adventure with your buddies. it’s fun!

#pfssws #tl;dr the character relationships are interesting? #in smth like bleach or naruto there's either very little conflict b/w the protagonists OR there's a lot of dramatic heel-turning #but in this it's more like everyone's always on the same side but they have interconnected histories and traumas

[mylocalofficial]

7 Unique Email Templates For Requesting Online Reviews

Requesting Online Reviews

Are you requesting online reviews from customers? They hate it when you ask.

You know it, they know it. But experts are encouraging you to do it. "Ask your customers for reviews," they say. "You'll regret it if you don't," they imply.

Over and over you're bombarded with advice that tells you to get out there, go grovel and beg for that review. Your business needs it. So, suck it up and swallow your pride.

If you're like most people you hate it. And you know what? That's a healthy response. You should hate grovelling because it's the wrong way to ask for a review from a customer.

Begging ruins relationships with customers

What happens when someone begs us to do something we don't want to do? It hurts the relationship.

It creates negative feelings – bitterness, resentment, loss of respect – feelings that weren't there before. Maybe we do what they want us to do, maybe we don't.

The relationship is permanently changed.

Beggars put themselves in a one-down position, a place that leaves them at a serious disadvantage. Okay, what does that disadvantage look like?

★ Condescension becomes more obvious

★ Customer distrust, regarding your motives, grows

★ The customer/provider relationship becomes a little bit more inflexible

★ Customers become more resistant to suggestions, requests and expectations

The damage is far-reaching, continuing to get worse until the state of the relationship is openly addressed and discussed.

Which almost never happens.

Most businesses do their best to avoid conflict with customers, while customers discuss their feelings with anyone and everyone, except those they're doing business with.

Notice I didn't say they don't talk about their problems. I said they don't talk about their feelings.

This sounds like touchy-feely nonsense

The kind of "emotional claptrap" many people do their very best to avoid. But is that really the case here?

Actually, no.

Because the behaviour, begging for reviews, is the problem. Most of us would avoid begging if customers pointed out that behaviour.

If they told us our begging made them angry or uncomfortable, most of us would stop doing it. We'd find a different way to go about getting the reviews we need. Here's the problem.

They don't like it.

What's worse, it permanently changes our status, in our customers' eyes, as peers. Most of the time it's pretty subtle but the results are still the same. Begging hurts relationships.

We still need reviews though, so…

What do we do?

Do we simply abandon our efforts to get quality reviews? Do we avoid reviews altogether because we're embarrassed or afraid?

No, we stop asking for reviews.

We start asking for specifics, the things inside our reviews. We ask for details, specifics on the objections they had as new customers coming in.

Asking for a favour actually tends to boost customer response, significantly increasing the odds we’ll get more favours in the future. Asking isn’t begging and it’s actually an important relationship-building step to take.

So what kind of specifics are we asking for?

We ask about their fears, frustrations and doubts. Their objections, risks and consequences. Did they take a huge risk on your business or your product? Were they burned by a competitor? It's important that you find out. Making a face-to-face request is ideal, but it’s important to get feedback (or reviews) whether it’s face-to-face, over the phone or digital.

Here's why.

When customers share their story they give you a gift. Independent, third-party validation of you. Your character, the service you provide and the results they received.

A powerful review has four distinct ingredients

★ Presentation. A powerful review is presented well. Their story follows a sequence (linear or chronological) and grammar isn't a distraction. Presentation criteria grow when the medium changes (e.g. audio or video).

★ Consistency. Do reviewers contradict themselves? Inconsistency undermines a reviewer's credibility. Which means prospects distrust both the business and their reviewers.

★ Negativity. As John Cacioppo's research shows, humans have a negative bias. We're more drawn to the negative. Reviews with negative elements – fears, problems, frustrations, objections, risks – attract attention and are considered to be more believable.

★ Positivity. Our negative bias creates stress and anxiety. A good solution relieves our stress and anxiety. This is the result most people look for in a review. But reviews that focus on positivity alone are seen as unconvincing and untrustworthy. Don't believe me? What do you think about most LinkedIn recommendations?

This is kind of the worst.

We shouldn't ask for reviews, now on top of that, we need four specific ingredients?

Then, to make matters worse, these ingredients are things customers have to choose to provide on their own. So, what are you supposed to do?

You follow a system.

A good system for Requesting Online Reviews relies on templates

Templates give you a rough framework to follow, showing you the who, what, why and how. Ideally, templates are easy to apply and quick to use. They're helpful training aids your entire team can follow.

So with that in mind, here are 7 templates you can use to get amazing reviews from all-star customers.

Template #1: Feedback interview

Most of the time customers come to us with a problem. It could be a complex marketing problem (SEO) or something as simple as boredom (YouTube). Whatever their motivation they come to you looking for a solution.

Customers are happy when you fix their problem. But they forget to share their experience with others.

The feedback interview solves this problem.

How does it work? You simply ask customers for their feedback on one particular problem like this.

Hi Jan,

Some of our clients were burned by [competitor]. Most of them paid lots of money for a phone system that didn't work well. We're trying to learn from their experience.

Have you run into any frustrating problems while using our phone system? Would you be willing to share your story on a quick 5 minute call?

We're looking for brutal honesty.

Appreciate you!

Andrew

The feedback interview works because it's a two-pronged attack. First, you're learning about potential problems before they become disasters. Second, your identifying customer candidates who are willing to give you a review.

This template works best as a follow-up strategy. After a customer has opted in, purchased or used your product.

Template #2: Survey interview

Most businesses have a list. An audience of people who are interested in what they have to say. An email list, social media following or group membership.

The survey interview is, as the name suggests, a survey. It's a one-question survey that leads with something fascinating. A question or hook that's guaranteed to grab their attention.

Here's how it works.

1. What do you want to know? Choose the most important question you'd like to ask e.g. what's the biggest problem you're trying to solve?

2. Why should they care? Make your question attention-grabbing, avoiding explicit controversy and self-deprecation.

3. Segment your responses. Who provided the best/worst answers? Which answers are most valuable? Sort the respondents into groups.

4. Follow up with the engaged. Reach out to the people you'd like to hear more from. Send them a message thanking them for their response and asking if they'd be willing to elaborate.

If you're running a marketing firm, your one question survey could be anything along the lines of:

★ What do you hate most about marketing firms?

★ What's your biggest struggle with creating content?

★ What's your biggest risk factor when it comes to paying for SEO?

★ What would make an unknown marketing firm unique from your perspective?

And the most important part? You target existing customers with your one question survey.

Template #3: Unhappy customer

If you're running a business you're bound to have a few unhappy customers. Customers won't always be happy with the work we do. Sometimes we make mistakes, sometimes we don't meet their expectations.

Sometimes these customers leave.

It's common for businesses to treat these customers like a lost cause. "I made a mistake, they're really angry with me and they're gone forever."

What if you could get them back?

What if there was a chance you could win them back and win new customers over in the process? As it turns out you can.

Here's how:

1. Assess your customer. You're looking for unhappy customers who are emotionally stable. The strategy won't work with unhappy customers if they're toxic or malicious. You're looking for unhappy people who are honourable even though you screwed up.

2. Ask for details. These customers may already be on their way out the door. If they're willing, give them a chance to clear the air. Ask questions if you need clarification, but listen. Get their permission to record and transcribe the interview.

3. Ask them to share their feedback. Send them a copy of their unedited feedback. Then ask if they'd be willing to share it publicly as a review. That's right, you're asking them to share a negative review.

4. Fix the problems they've mentioned. Go above and beyond, fixing all of the issues your unhappy customer mentioned. Next, create an irresistible offer that's designed to woo them back to you e.g. if you’re running a ski resort you could reach out to unhappy customers with a free 10 day pass good for 10 people.

5. Make your approach. The approach is key. Come on too strong and look needy. Allow your ego to get in the way and they may update their review, making your situation worse. The whole strategy falls apart. Your approach needs to be gentle, nuanced and respectful.

Your initial approach could look a little bit like this:

Jan,

We've really messed things up. I'm so sorry. I know where we went wrong but I think I'm missing something. I'd like to learn as much as I can from this.

Would you be willing to share where you think we went wrong?

This isn't a ploy to try to keep you with us. I want to prevent this from happening again.

Andrew

Who in their right mind would do this?

All-stars businesses who are looking to set the standard in their field. But why? Why go out of your way to request a negative review?

Because customers know the truth about reviews. How do I know?

Yelp.

Here's their policy on requesting reviews:

"Don’t ask anyone to review your business on Yelp. It’s that simple.

Most businesses would ask their happiest customers to write reviews, not the unhappy ones. Self-selected reviews tell only part of the story, and we don't think that's fair to consumers."

Ouch.

They have a point.

And believe it or not, this is something customers recognize intuitively. When they look at your site and they see nothing but glowing reviews, they wonder.

What about unhappy customers?

This strategy shows everyone your business is different. But, it depends on an incredible amount of nuance. This is something only the most sophisticated businesses will try.

Most won't do it.

Those who do, the ones who do it well, can benefit from this tremendously. You get an insider's view of what went wrong, the information customers typically withhold, and you get direction. You also get a chance to show you're objective and honest, even when it hurts.

Word spreads fast.

At some point, people will begin talking about what you did. They'll share your story with others. And the natural outcome? Customer trust skyrockets. But only if you're patient and you allow this strategy to grow organically. Talk yourself up, brag about what you did, let your ego get in the way at any point, and this may blow up in your face.

Template #4: Post-transaction request

The best time to ask for a review is right after a customer has given you money. After a visit to a doctor's office, at the end of a landscaping project or after the first marketing campaign. The best time to ask customers for a review is at the end of the transaction. Why? Because the details are still fresh.

Here’s how you can ask:

Hi Jan,

Thanks for choosing [your business]. I wanted to reach out personally and ask about your experience.

What was your experience like? (e.g. amazing, terrible, etc.)

We want to be better. Your feedback helps us accomplish that. If you're willing, it only takes a minute or two.

Share your review here [link]

Thanks for your trust,

Andrew

Template #5: Applause inquiry

Sometimes you get things right. You were amazing, you under promised and over delivered. Your customers are happy, overjoyed even. This is the part where businesses ruin it. They beg for reviews or they neglect to ask for feedback.

When your customer is happy it's a great time to ask for feedback. What specifically made them so happy? Did they dodge a bullet or avoid some painful outcome?

There's an art to it. When you're getting applause, asking for feedback is risky if it's mishandled. If customers feel you're being greedy – the relationship can sour quickly.

"Which is the perfect time to use touch and go."

With touch and go, you ask one question then you move on. You make one request then it's back to celebrating. If customers are happy our questions need to be neutral or pleasant, this isn't the time for controversy and alarm.

Thanks, Jan!

We're happy that you're happy! 🙂

It was a lot of hard work but we did it together! Thanks for trusting us!

Any thoughts on what we can do to make this even better for you?

We love working with you!

Andrew

We've sandwiched our request between two, very genuine compliments doing our best to keep the mood positive and upbeat. Here's the thing. Our customer may not have a very good answer. That's okay.

Because it's all about planting a seed.

When things are back to normal, reach out with a reminder. "Is there anything we can do to make these results even better for you?" If they've already given you an answer simply ask the next question on your list and go from there.

Template #6: Reasoned invite

Inviting a customer to review your business isn't the same as asking for a review. When you ask it's a favour, when you invite its prestigious.

But only if you do it right.

Hi Jan,

I’m reaching out to the top 3% of our customers (you’re one of them :)). I had six questions I wanted to ask, should only take 4 or 5 minutes.

Would it be alright if we talked on the phone? I’m free tomorrow at noon.

Andrew

Can you see what's happening? You're not a beggar trolling random customers for reviews, you're a discerning business owner choosing sophisticated customers.

With positioning, you change the game.

What if you can't target the top 3% of customers in your business? Can you still use positioning to your advantage?

Sure.

Just find a way to segment your customers. It's completely up to you but here are a few examples you can use to get started.

★ Most engaged/loyal/profitable customers

★ Your most vocal customers

★ Customers in a specific industry or niche

★ Customers with a certain amount of revenue

You see where I'm going with this?

When you set the terms, it shifts a customer's focus, getting them to compete for the label you're using in your positioning. Here's the catch: this strategy works best in a prestigious conscious environment. A prestigious industry, customers who are prestigious conscious or desire prestigious distinction.

The most important part goes without saying. Identify prestige, don't manufacture it.

Template #7: Free trial follow-up

If free trials are a big part of your business, this strategy is a great way to convert trial users. Here's how it works.

You're looking for engaged users, people who've signed up for a free trial and are actually trying things out. They're uploading their information, creating reports, working with your API.

They're taking things seriously.

These customers deserve more of your attention. Your onboarding user flow should guide these customers along, giving them the support they need to make a yes or no decision.

Reach out for feedback near the end of their free trial.

Hi Jan!

You've got three days left on your free trial. What was the most frustrating thing about [our product]? Any thoughts on how you'd make it better?

You're number one!

Andrew

When it comes to free trials, customers are sensitive. They don't want to be sold. They also don't want to be harassed, bullied or coerced into buying a product. They want to choose the product that's right for them.

They're still going to be suspicious though.

Which is why we've kept the tone positive, light and encouraging. We want them to know we appreciate them either way. Let's say they get past that and they decide to talk to us. How do we handle that?

One question at a time.

When they answer our first question, we ask the next/follow-up question limiting things to five questions or less.

These templates won't cover everything

They're not intended to and that's okay. These templates are really about changing your mode of thinking. The situations and circumstances you experience are opportunities. Use them well and you attract more customers.

Ignore them and you'll get more of the same, nothing.

That's the point though, isn't it? Once you've trained yourself to look for opportunities you'll see them everywhere.

What if these templates don't work?

What if these templates aren't a good fit for your business? Change them, modify them, find what works for you. These templates aren't a one-size-fits-all proposition. The opportunity is there if you're willing to do the work.

As long as you're willing to try.

Customers hate it when you beg

You know it, they know it. But experts encourage you to do just that. "Ask your customers for reviews," they say. "You'll regret it if you don't".

The opposite is true.

Begging ruins relationships with customers. If you're like most people you hate it. And you know what? That's okay. Because there's a better way.

Stop asking for reviews, start asking for specifics. Important details inside the review.

Look for customer fears, frustrations and doubts. Their objections, risks and consequences. Find the details that matter to them and you'll find they're happy to share.

if(window.strchfSettings === undefined) window.strchfSettings = {}; window.strchfSettings.stats = {url: "https://mylocal.storychief.io/requesting-online-reviews?id=502138610&type=2",title: "7 Unique Email Templates For Requesting Online Reviews",id: "2fa00077-23a5-4f07-b556-c811dc12f64f"}; (function(d, s, id) { var js, sjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) {window.strchf.update(); return;} js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "https://d37oebn0w9ir6a.cloudfront.net/scripts/v0/strchf.js"; js.async = true; sjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, sjs); }(document, 'script', 'storychief-jssdk'))

https://mylocal.org.uk/online-credibility/reputation-management/requesting-online-reviews/

#online visibility #online credibility #marketing #citations