#actually I'm sure others have said this

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this. #wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on #i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head #that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it... #some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself... #maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts. #orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway #i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles #btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20 #well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10 #and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most #(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era #that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little. #certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye #idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'. #i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle #just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit #let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')

[echthr0s]

I have a few things to say about Fallout (2024).

I know Caesar's Legion gets all the credit on the sickos (complimentary) side of fandom for having insanely homoerotic rituals but oh my god what's this, it's the Brotherhood of Steel with a steel fucking chair

Lucy MacLean has a face that's made for kissing women. why is she not kissing any women, what's going on

the ghoul lore is truly all over the goddamn place. like ok fine I don't hate it. but it's thin at best and if I think about it for longer than 3 seconds I am gonna poke holes in it whether I want to or not

brain on a fucking roomba

again, can we talk about Maximus and that whole "use my cock" business like please explain to me in detail what the actual factual fuck is going on in the BoS. I'm a visual learner btw

#i actually do have some Concerns about the focus on everyone being terrible to each other #and of course i agree with the ''it's been 200+ years but it sure don't look or feel like it'' critique #but i'm willing to hold out hope that our protags and friends are supposed to forge new paths #and this season is the necessary setup for that pathing #all that being said. i'm not interested in complaining too much bc the bottom line is... i had fun. #fallout

[nibbelraz]

shang qinghua deserves to be a) squeezed like a stress ball and b) a god who kind of but not really lost control

And now I want to talk about how cool it would be if like uh uh the system and sqh were having custody battles over who has more control over the world and obviously its the system the system is really wierd and thats an entire discussion but qinghua is the author and that's really really important to me he should write stuff into existence I think but also last week I had an idea that went like uh sqh loses more and more power as he changes things, so when he's transmigrated in as a baby he loses a lot of 'power' unintentionally and then when mobei comes in there's a thing and when sy comes in he literally just loses it all and he knows this inst really his story anymore

Aahahaha it's 2am I'm gonna stop yammering now good luck on your future endeavors

Mobei is always squeezing Shang Qinghua like a stress ball but affectionately

I, on the other hand, squeeze him and shake him around like a chew toy

Your idea tho!!!! I'm very interested in that!!!

CUSTODY BATTLE OF POWERS a fitting description

It's kinda like, yeah he was a God of that world because he wrote it out and can change anything on a whim.

But once you're actually a part of that world, well it's a little hard to change it since you're living in it.

I'm really interested in Shang Qinghua slowly but surely realizing he's not really in his own story. Yeah he wrote it yeah he made the character but when does the line between "I wrote this character" and "theyre an in depth person with feelings and lives and to me they were only written in a second but here they're actually someone " blur

He spent his whole second life clinging to everything to live and worrying about that characters future and using everyone around him to save himself

When did he really see these people as...people

A one off character becoming his friend

A minor character dying to advance the plot, does he see the grief? Does he say they're characters to help digest what he's done? He never meant for any of this to be real, so how does he handle it?

Does he finally see everyone as real, or does he simply become a character as well?

#im actually not great at analysiss and a bit of my orv existentialism popped out here but! hope i kinda said something coherent #svsss #shang qinghua #mobei jun #I think I went a little off what you were trying to say #sorry! Also #please #if you have more to talk about I'm always happy to listen!!! ^ #also i think qinghua does ene up being aware that people in his world are people #i think he really would try to make things better #he did try to help Shen Jiu with a major plot point at one point so #im sure he'll try to minimize a lot of other arcs that cause tragedy #nib text #ask

[sysig]

Now that they can, would they want to spend a lot of time together? (Patreon)

#Doodles #Adventure Time #Fionna and Cake #Simon Petrikov #Marceline #Hhhh I feel so bad for both of them 💔 #Obviously Simon misses her since she's like the one tether he still has to ''his'' time - they were both born before all the Everything #And I'm sure Marceline misses Simon too but like - even this Simon isn't ''her'' Simon. They met when he was already affected by the Crown #They clearly love each other when they see each other when Simon is as much himself as he can be! #But I can't help but wonder if it would be painful to spend time with this sad lonely magicless man - and how guilty that would make Simon #He wants to still be a part of her life! But how much of himself does he even have to offer now? #And the guilt would go round and round - she sees it in him and he sees that in her and they just both feel bad! #I really can't blame him for being a little emotionally closed and her being distant - they're not who they were #With all that said I still really love their dynamic <3 They're /not/ who they used to be but they've still got such an interesting relation #I think in the moments that they do have together where they're both trying to be good for each other Marcy would really push her humour ♪ #She's got 1000 years of silliness to get out of her system to her bestie! I'm sure she's got the material hehe #Even if he still sees her as a little girl - I mean that just adds to the joke if she says something a bit blue lol #I don't think he'd actually keep the sharp teeth - it's more of a visual metaphor of how Marceline sees him in these kinds of moments #It's hard to leave it behind!

[wandamaximoff-mybeloved]

breaking my silence: the mcu avengers are not a found family. the runaways are a found family. the x-men are a found family. the fucking young avengers are a found family. the avengers are a group of coworkers that have an annual christmas mixer, at best

#i'm sorry it has to be said #most of them have families outside of the team #most of them don't actually like or hang out with each other #do some of them like each other? sure! #but it's uncommon #ESPECIALLY when we take into account the expanded team #for example: have thor and sam wilson ever met on screen? #i won't begrudge y'all your avengers mansion hcs #but me personally i can't get into it #mcu #mcu phase 4 #marvel #marvel movies #marvel phase 4 #captain marvel #the runaways #avengers #avengers aou #avengers age of ultron #the avengers #marvel cinematic universe #sam wilson #thor #x men #x men comics #young avengers #wanda maximoff #wandavision #scarlet witch #iron man

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

[doubledyke]

eddy flirting with kevin is such a power move honestly

#kevin and eddy have such a funny fucking dynamic #eddy tucks his lip in and wears a hat and suddenly kevin thinks he's cool as shit.... #honestly they're obsessed with each other it's so fucking embarrassing #i don't ship it but like i said before #eddy 10000% has a crush on kevin during the show #he gets over it after bps once he's been “accepted” into the circle and actually spends time with kevin 😬 #they both try too hard to be the most masculine person in the room and everything turns into a pissing contest #like that scene in ready set ed #i also saw someone post an interesting theory that kevin and eddy were really good friends when they were little #eventually they have a falling out and can't stand each other from that point on #it's in my likes somewhere i'll reblog it at some point i'm sure #anyway i'll make a compilation of their super normal interactions some day #text

[thedreadvampy]

The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.

It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.

#red said #i don't know that i can express this clearly but it's the most encouraging thing in my life #my mum's always been proud of me but just lately she seems to actually really admire me #like she's genuinely impressed. she thinks I've surpassed her. i don't necessarily agree but it's a really nice quiet joy. #anyway like this sounds super up myself and it kind of is. #but also it's part of realising just how heavy the weight I've been carrying around with me for 25 years was #like not to be ridiculous but i have realised again this week. that it isn't that everyone's been raped that much and doesn't talk about it #i just have been raped an Unusually Consistent Amount. i have spoken to a lot of people who have had much more horrifying things happen. #I'm not sure I've talked to more than a couple of people who've had a similar level of total consistency of abuse from all angles #and the one is not heavier or harder to bear that the other. but. i think i spent most of my life listening to people's awful experiences #and going ok well nothing i went through looked that bad so it's microtrauma #obviously microtraumas build up but still. #then the older i get and the more i have these conversations the more I notice that stuff which to me is a microtrauma #is a lot of people's defining trauma. and they're reacting appropriately which means i am SO SEVERELY UNDERREACTING #told my friend the other day about a time someone who i still like and respect was having sex with me when i paralocated my hip #and then just kept getting really annoyed with me for not being ready to have sex again while i was literally crying with pain #until i caved and just tried to find the last painful position #and my friend was like pal what the fuck that's horrific #and i was like i mean no that's normal I've had sex with like maybe 3 or 4 people in my life who i haven't had similar stuff with #like i am genuinely thrown when i am allowed to say no to sex and have it be the end of the conversation. and not end up having sex #out of guilt or out of physical coercion or through physical rape. and i have had sex with probably like 40 people at this stage? #and I'm not sure it's as many as 4 i haven't had that experience with tbh #so like. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea #that i may have actually been doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting. #like i developed a sense of self that can survive being constantly crushed and at this stage is fucking diamond.

[rotisseries]

inspired by elli's poll lol cause this seems fun actually but if you guys have bad answers I'll kill myself on your doorstep or smth

#“rori all of these are your faves how can there be a bad answer” well I still have an internal ranking on some of these #and if all of you pick an option that I think pales in comparison to the others. well. hm #I know what's gonna sweep though because two of these are niche as hell and 4 maybe 5 of these are things you people don't follow me for #fun fact I actually had to scrape my brain to make sure I couldn't come up with any more #I am unintentionally very picky on what is a favorite apparentlyyyy #I also just don't watch/read enough stuff these days so there's that #AND I NEED LONG TERM EXPOSURE TO KNOW THEY'RE STICKING AROUND #so like. I have some options but I don't KNOWWW if they're sticking yet #but this feels like such a small poll lmao #also no sapphics on here this is actually cause I hate women- #NO. JOKING. zelink is here. I almost put gideon and harrow but I'm in a perpetual state of not having finished tlt #and I couldn't put nebetta and darya I was drawing the line at 2 tbos ships. well. actually. changed my mind #not editing these tags actually you guys can see my thought process #WAIT AND SAYMARI. FUCK. I LITERALLY MADE A PLAYLIST FOR THEM I LOVE THEMMM #ok. is 4 tbos ships too many. hmm #I said 2 of these are niche now four of these are niche it's really the “which tbos pairing is your fave” poll #THIS POLL IS SO FUNNY IT'S SO SELF INDULGENT I HAVE TO TAKE OUT AT LEAST ONE TBOS SHIP #I should add one more general one... #cause I do actually want genuine and varied answers I gotta give y'all options so they don't all pool at the first two #I also almost put ellie and abby on here.. that would've been so funny four popular 1 rarepair 3 super niche ships #ellie and abby are soooo interesting to me though so of course the thought of them having something horrible going on together compels me #and they are one of my 3 favorited ao3 tags... they deserve a place... #ok well while I debate on that I'm putting akutagawa and atsushi on here I admittedly have only had like two months of exposure to them #but it is enough I can tell they are so crazy to me #the way my tags are just me overthinking everything on what is supposed to be a fun and silly poll... no one does it like me I'm afraid

[dnalt-d2]

Alright I have one more thing to say about this event (Though I'll admit now it's partly just me stating the obvious)

So as far as I remember, this Prison event was supposed to be four days, right?

Yet on the itinerary, it only has three days (ENDING IN PLAYER CRUCIFIXION??????)

This could mean one of two things

(One is a miscommunication/translation error, in which case, whoopsie and whatnot. I don't speak Spanish after all, which makes me rely on all the Spanish speakers for translations regarding events that Quackity announces)

But the other is that whatever happens on the third day is gonna be huge

So huge, that it will in fact carry over to the next day, and basically be a kind of fourth day for the event

And considering that Quackity keeps saying that this is about to be a new era for the QSMP, and keeps INSISTING it isn't clickbait, that seems like it's becoming more and more likely

Especially with that calendar we saw, with most of the week crossed out in Yellow

Something REALLY BIG is about to happen on the QSMP, and I can't wait to see what it is

(Okay so I just thought of this right before I hit post, but what if the Eggs are about to hatch?? Like I LITERALLY just thought about this, I was gonna put it in the tags, but what if?? It might explain why the Egfs are suddenly shifting back to the old type of tasks. It's been a REALLY long time since that was brought up. And that's JUST the thing that would cause a straight-up Era Shift that Quackity keeps implying. Maybe at the very least the Dragon shows up? Or at least gets brought up. Idk this is obviously just speculation, but wouldn't that be cool???)

#Now there's definitely reason not to think this is the case #Some of the Eggs are way too new after all #And to be honest #I'm not sure they're ever actually gonna hatch #But again #It's neat to think about it all #I don't really have many other things to say here #Just that things are about to get crazy #Like I said I was gonna put that thing about the Eggs hatching down here #But I realized I didn't want that to be hidden down in the tags #So oh well I guess #That's all I've got lmao #qsmp #qsmp theory #qsmp prison

[cinna-bunnie]

why is it always the forbidden fruit that entices me the most (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠)

#🚶🏾‍♀️ not that it impacts the way i feel about anyone else but i actually do fr love my manager and it's crazy bc idk how or when this #happened. like i have fun by myself n i love my friends but i rly am at my happiest when I'm next to her huh (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠) ♡⁠ #and that is a wild way to feel about someone i work with let alone who supervises me akdkaka #i still can't believe how naturally and affirmingly “i love you” jumped out of me the other day without thinking about it #and i do??¿ after thinking about it??¿ i would literally do anything for you #and she said she loves me too 😵‍💫 and we've never articulated that before. and now our talks feel more personal than before but it #was a much bigger conversation for sure (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠) she's out of work this week though and I'm thinking about her. #🚶🏾‍♀️i wanna show her my knife throwing but idkk...... struggling w where the line between professional and personal needs to be 💀 #i treat my work friends and my real friends very differently lol. i don't know (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠) aaa #now that i said it it's like a dam of feelings burst ૮ – ﻌ–ა girl... #she has a husband. but he's a scrub. but she's my boss. but we're already so sweet to each other. but i shouldn't. but i want to #aaauuugghghfhfghhghkhkjltlskxkvofjw !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #ignore me and my pining (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠) ♡⁠ im crazy about that girl. i really am huh.. 🚶🏾‍♀️ #if you got to hang out with her u would get it.... i can't believe her man ain't shit... pls let me give u my attention #u don't have to be mine nor am i wanting that but let me take care of you (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) ♡⁠ u work so hard for everyone else #she's fantasizing.... ......... wanting.. contemplating...?..?? no. no....??¿......? ......... 😐 hm #lmao

[mattodore]

in photoshop fixing clipping on sims pics like i love you duplicate layer, i love you liquify tool, i love you clone tool, i love you magnetic lasso tool, i love you spot healing brush we should all lez out together

#river dipping #got so so so distracted reading but now i'm finally editing this photo i said i'd take for crabbey #part of theo's leg was fr just. missing #not anymore tho >:) #once i'm finished with this eye...... am actually going to make some poses for mattodore based on a pic nene sent me #as well as two other poses i thought of that are. so crazy #one of them is gonna be a little hard to do... i'm thinking abt doing like this.... pov kind of thing? #i'm pretty sure i'm just gonna have to completely bend the torso back so i can just mimic eye level with the tab cam ingame #we'll see......... #it should be easy to make tho bc. i just need to put matthias on the ground basically #and theo's just standing so #we'll see #this ask in my inbox............................... anon i'm so sorry i rlly am </3

[anakinh]

I think my problem with the moral greyification of the prime deities is that, for the last two campaigns, the two exandria unlimited campaigns, and tlovm, critical role portrayed the prime deities as benevolent and actively helpful, at the very least willing to fight for and protect mortal beings. Every time someone in C3 asks “what have the gods done for us?” we, the fans, are going to remember stuff like Melora shielding Fjord from Uk’otoa under the Arbor Exemplar, or Pike and her relationship to Sarenrae, or Vex shooting an arrow created by a cleric while radiating sunlight from her blessing from Pelor. We, the fans, have pretty good reason to like the gods. Hell, the last time we had a “the prime deities are bad actually” argument it was from Asmodeus, lord of the hells, prince of lies, and he later subverted his sympathy for the devil shtick in a scene that would go down in history as one of the best in Critical Role. I think now we’re looking at people complaining about the gods and it’s jarring because to us it seems like it came out of nowhere with a lot of evidence against it. “What have the gods done for us?” Fucking a lot.

(Also, it’s true that the C3 characters haven’t seen what we have, but Laudna was brought back by a cleric of Sarenrae and Orym has a literal sword blessed by the Wildmother. The gods actually have done things for them)

Another, smaller thing is that the Prime Deities in Critical Role aren’t associated with the hate and oppression and violence that is tied to modern religious institutions (which was something I thought was to CR’s detriment given the existence of Vasselheim, and I actually do like them showing the dark side of Vasselheim now). We haven’t been given a reason to hate religion beforehand, and even now that we do, we can argue that the actions taken by mortals in the name of their god does not justify the eradication of said god. Anyway, I think this just goes back into the “it’s jarring, it seemed to have come out of left field” concept. 

The last thing is I’m honestly sick of hearing the players and NPCs debating why we should help the Prime Deities since they’re #problematic. Who gives a fuck. Imagine if an old man was sick of the king so he decided to release a rabid bear in the king’s castle, and you’re like “okay but I live in the castle too though?” and he’s like “Don’t worry, it won’t harm you.” Would you follow this man? No! Imagine knowing this old man who was involved in the murders of so many people, including your friends and family, in cold blood to achieve his godless world, and someone says “actually I don’t like the gods” and you’re like “oh damn, maybe this old man has a point.” Who cares if he has a point! He’s murdering entire villages of innocents! The ends don’t actually justify the means! I’m glad Orym and Ashton and Laudna are at least on board with that part, but I’m worried their resolve is weakening. Also I wish the god debate would just shut down when one of them points that out instead of continuing on.

#me.txt #cr spoilers #i'm literally just rambling #oh home of the vassals i get it now #there's also the colonialism thing which i really don't want to touch with a 10 ft pole #i will say that I don't think critical role will do it well if they decide to actually address it #I think they made sure it wouldn't be done well the moment they said that the titans want to kill all mortals. WE'RE mortals. #like the lore is that the titans and the betrayer gods sided with each other to destroy mortal life and the prime deities protected us #the mortals #and then the canonically evil betrayer gods worked again with the titans during the calamity to again try to destroy all mortals (us) #which was hindered because we (the mortals) killed two of the titans and weakened the betrayer gods' forces #that's the lore you want to slap onto a colonialism narrative? are you sure? #also side side note i'm sick of the sun gods always being jerks :( #i like the sun! it's very helpful! why do they have to be jerks?

[snug-as-bugalugs-in-rugalugs]

Hey fellow Murdochians, I need something new to obsess over :) So if you have the inclination, please reblog this post and put in the tags (or just normal reblogs) a piece of symbolism or parallel or some other kind of connection you noticed in the show that, even if the creators may not have intended it, makes you go a little insane :)

#murdoch mysteries #cbc murdoch #rb game #ok ill go first #ummm im sure this has been said before but other characters giving watts pretzels always seems to symbolize acceptance in one way or other #like when jackson said he 'wasn't interested in anything unusual' and seemed rather disturbed by watts' pretzel #in s10e12 #which is a bit. yk. considering watts is rather 'unusual' himself so to speak #but then in s10e15 when watts is rejected by the only family he has left #and feeling so alone and abandoned #jackson buys an 'unusual' little pretzel anyway for him basically saying like. you may be a weirdo #but we're friends now and i'm here for you #and i think a bit of unusuality might be ok #(tragic that he died before watts ever convinced him to try a pretzel himself hhfdkhfk) #also the inspector giving watts his pretzel back after beating up that guy who was hatecriming him in s15 #obviously symbolizes acceptance of him being gay #and then the most recent one with george at the end of s16 #was right after the 'despite who i am?' 'because of who you are' scene #so i think that's pretty self explanatory lol #there might be other instances but i don't remember #in retrospect the writers may have actually intended this one #its pretty straightforward. but i think its neat

[void-botanist]

19, 20, 21, 22 for the polycule of your choice? :0

whoops we're doing it for two of them :3 and I'll include Heith too

19 - Summarize your character's goals in one sentence.

Marcus: be okay and go home, but also never have to tell Heith about all of his lies by omission

Heith: figure out if she's actually for real serious about Marcus (she thinks she might be actually for real serious about Marcus) and one way or another move out of her hotel room on Aephar

Yera: be a mom and try to make peace with the fact that Marcus is not here to be a part of the family

Hossan: be a dad and help Umedes figure themself out

Gren: see Marcus again and hopefully find out that there was no need to be jealous about his girlfriend, and make sure everyone's okay, especially the baby

Pali: prevent Kiatcarmen from finding Marcus (though that isn't a very active job), make sure the shifter coalition in the court doesn't budge, and get somewhere with her studies of shifter magic

Umedes: figure out whether they want to have a kid or not help

Kiatcarmen: find Marcus, because Minaya must not ascend, and do whatever else she can to preserve her accomplishments in the kingdom

Pirianus: broaden Kiatcarmen's vision beyond legacy, or, failing that, as he has for some 30+ years, get her to open up to him

Caladea: see Marcus again, and for his polycule's sake believe with all her heart the lies they tell Kiatcarmen

Thade: continue completing the political project du jour and end up in a happily ever after with Pirianus, which might also make him more welcome in the palace

Orvi: complete the one thing he was installed in the palace to accomplish

20 - Who's in the way of those goals?

Marcus: his mother. Always his mother. And honestly a little bit himself

Heith: herself, mostly. This is so not like her - well, specifically the part where she's still here when there have been plenty of times to go home

Yera: realistically, Kiatcarmen. But she still sometimes feels like she's lost some of her verve

Hossan: Umedes is the big challenge here. They're just so indecisive

Gren: Kiatcarmen, but sometimes it's easier to focus on the fact that Marcus has an interstellar girlfriend that none of them have ever met and that's so frustrating

Pali: herself. There aren't enough hours in the day for everything, and she has to sleep ugh

Umedes: themself, because they were the one who said this would be a great idea for when Marcus comes back. Who 100% believed Pali and Minaya and her ferasca spouses that this would go great. And who also took one look at Yera & Hossan's baby and thought that maybe they were signing up for more than they realized

Kiatcarmen: Marcus. Always Marcus. But she also blames Minaya and Yera and Pali for his disappearance, and she needs Pirianus to just shut up. This would have been so much easier with Jimmy

Pirianus: Kiatcarmen because he put his eggs all in one basket. But he mostly blames himself

Caladea: Kiatcarmen, but she tries to focus on what she can do better, and how she's getting in her own way

Thade: he's beginning to suspect he's been in his own way this entire time but it can't be understated how much Pirianus is constantly hot and cold

Orvi: it changes frequently, but always some contingent of the court

21 - What is your character's relationship with their emotions?

Marcus: he can't control his bad emotions, so he suppresses them. This has never caused any problems

Heith: she's just as cynical about her emotions as she is about everything else, but sometimes she just can't not feel something completely unironically

Yera: she's gonna feel them whatever they are so [grits teeth] negative emotions are part of the fullness of experience (she will be screaming into this pillow later)

Hossan: left to his own devices, he would feel his emotions, and then let them cast away upon the wind. Being with Yera and Gren has made him learn how to interrogate them more

Gren: he feels everything. A lot. He also conceptualizes things in terms of feelings a lot

Pali: she would like to believe she doesn't have them, but then she lays awake at night deconstructing them

Umedes: they tend to put intense feelings away for later, but don't ever get to later unless later comes for them first

Kiatcarmen: her emotions are so rich and nuanced and nobody understands that, so all of her emotions collapse into some flavor of annoyance

Pirianus: don't like that feeling? Repress it! This will never result in it returning in continually more warped and incomprehensible forms

Caladea: being in the palace seems to have stunted her emotions - they're flatter, duller, and way more anxious no matter what they are

Thade: don't like that feeling? Deflect it! The more mirrors there are between you and your emotions the less you will ever know what they are and the less you can ever be responsible for them

Orvi: he has a mental Tupperware for emotions that allows him to keep control of himself. He is the only person on this list who will actually open that Tupperware on purpose later

22 - What regrets do they have, if any? (From any part of the story, not just exposition.)

Marcus: missing out on eight years of his "real" life, and especially not being there when Gren's grandmother died. If only he'd been stronger, he could have stayed

Heith: before finding out about Marcus, that she's kind of a flake to her band, but they don't seem to mind that much. After finding out about Marcus, that she ever thought there was some kind of "magic" between them and maybe she could feel naïve about love for two seconds

Yera: she regretted drifting away from her father and sister, so she's fixing that now

Hossan: most of his regrets are from the now-distant past and don't make much sense - even he will say so - but he always finds himself regretting that he can't seem to do more for people

Gren: not going home even more before his grandmother died, even though he was practically splitting his time between his home city and the palace. He also regrets letting Marcus leave, even though he had to, and there was no other real choice

Pali: after getting married, she got more distant from her professor mentor, and the regret hit her hard when they died

Umedes: most immediately, thinking that having a kid was a good idea (they are beginning to think that this is a pregnancy kink that got out of hand). But more than anything they regret not going with Marcus, even though they couldn't

Kiatcarmen: Ashmalo was a liability, but she still regrets that he died (despite her image she does not think that assassination is the right way to deal with most problems, including Ashmalo). Conversely, she regrets that she couldn't save Jimmy, even though medical science itself could not have saved Jimmy. She also regrets letting Minaya slip out from under her thumb, because if she hadn't, she wouldn't be stuck looking for her runaway son

Pirianus: that he can't seem to permanently extract himself from Thade. If he stops and thinks about it (read: gets drunk and sad) he regrets spending so many years of his life trying to get through to a woman who would just as soon throw him to the dogs

Caladea: that she couldn't do more for Marcus or Minaya or Ashmalo, and that she still can't. And that being stuck in the palace has left her struggling to try and pick up the pieces of her creativity and her passion even though it should have given her unlimited resources to pursue them

Thade: things he's said to people. Most of them used to be seared in his brain because he thought they were funny, and eventually he figured out that oh, maybe they weren't. But some of them seemed bad from the moment they came out of his mouth (not before that, unfortunately, because he wasn't thinking about it) and he wishes he could take them back for real, especially the things he's said to Pirianus

Orvi: that he's still here. He had one thing to accomplish, and even though it was complex, it's taking SO. LONG. He knew that marrying into the royal family meant that he probably wasn't going to permanently go home again, but the longer this drags on the less he even wants to show his face there, and he wonders if it was worth it at all

#I need to spend more time with Heith tbh. I know she must have other regrets in her life that feed into the cynicism #I'm just not totally sure what/what her situation is outside of her band #Kiatcarmen's polycule gives me the worst heartache help #I actually wrote like 2k words about some shit Thade said to Pirianus after she died and how that did not go well #honestly Thade also kind of regrets never yet telling Pirianus that he loves him as anything but a joke. but he's not unpacking that one #me: Pali was basically a wizard's apprentice before she got married but there are no wizards in this setting #me: wait #I think it's pretty clear actually that Pali doesn't really do regrets. she's maybe better at forgiving herself than any of the others #simultaneously laughing and crying when I imagine Umedes with the baby because they are TERRIFIED of hurting it somehow #despite normally being a very gentle person and very unlikely to do anything wrong #kink mention #c: Kiatcarmen #c: Orvi #c: Caladea #c: Pirianus #c: Thade #c: Marcus #c: Yera #c: Gren #c: Pali #c: Umedes #c: Hossan #c: Heith #wip: iecunem #50 questions ask game

[gothhabiba]

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#the spelling thing is actually a little hurtful lmao #I've held off on voice-to-text for so long because I'm wary of the tech that makes it possible #(read: capitalist or fascist / police state uses for said tech) #but also I know it makes errors of homophone usage and other seeming malapropisms common #but even without it my hands are getting worse--I have to type lying down which makes my wrists worse #I'm tired and foggy so much of the time and making spelling and grammatical errors that I never used to make #and as someone trying to express sometimes not super sj 101 ideas--I know how much that relies on your seeming 'intelligence' #as far as people's willingness to listen to you #and as a person of colour I also know how white people get about you speaking 'their' languages #and how a mistake will hurt your credibility much faster than it would hurt someone else's #and I spend a lot of time and effort going back and correcting things my hands have messed up #even when it puts me in more pain. also because like I'm concerned about people who use screenreaders #idk there's no easy answer but surely we can agree that 'you misspelled something therefore you don't know what you're talking about' #is just mean-spirited on so many levels. lol