Aspec culture is knowing you're somewhere on the ace-spectrum but not actually knowing where and deciding to just refer to yourself as ace rather going with any micro label since you know trying to figure out an exact label would just stress you out and just saying ace feels more comfortable anyway even if it doesn't necessarily fit (metaphorically) word for word.
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"Don't assume or insinuate that people are only aro/ace due to trauma"
"Being aro/ace due to trauma is valid and you aren't broken"
Are not mutually exclusive. Both of these statements are true and we need to recognize the nuance in individual people's experiences.
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this pride, I’d like to remind everyone how thoroughly the aspec community was obliterated on here. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the whiplash of going from literally creating a tumblr to learn more about aspec identities and being so excited to finally have a place where I wasn’t broken—to watching the lgbt community and surrounding ‘allies’ utterly destroy what we had, watching blogs delete or quietly re-closet themselves, and being afraid to put anything regarding asexuality or aromanticism in my bio. I started blocking people once I started having nightmares
it’s still so hard to get people to take aphobia seriously, and ‘aphobe’ is constantly treated like a joke. I get anxious about mentioning my qpp in anything, I’ve seen how far people will go to tell someone their relationship is fake or ‘cringe’. sometimes it seems like noone remembers what it was like before, when we weren’t afraid. that we came looking for acceptance, and were thrown out on our asses for being largely neurodivergent.
I’m so glad we’re rebuilding, but I’ll never forget what that felt like. what it feels like
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as an asexual I think it’s my right to own lots of medieval weapons and also probably a dragon
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Shoutout to, like, 14 year old me who thought he was bi cause he felt 0 attraction to men and 0 attraction to women and 0=0 which is equal attraction THEREFORE I was surely equally attracted to both men and women and, thus, bisexual, thank you for coming to my tedtalk
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Hi so uh, please don't call asexual people innocent or adorable for not liking or being interested in sex? It's patronising and feels icky.
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Just sorta futzing about tbh. vibing
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Idk what ace person needs to hear this but
Having intrusive thoughts about sexual things does not mean you are faking it or "secretly allosexual".
Intrusive thoughts are intrusive thoughts because they are stressful and unwanted. Allosexual people aren't tortured by their normal sexual thoughts.
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when an asexual meets a bisexual
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happy international asexuality day 💜
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Closeted ace culture is seeing people wear black rings and wondering if they are ace too or if it's just aesthetic for them, but being unable to ask outright
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I just realised explaining asexuality is kind of like the rock that looks like a face scene.
Asexual: I’m asexual. I experience little to no sexual attraction.”
Allo ™️: So you’re confused?
Asexual: No, I experience little to no sexual attraction.
Allo ™️: You don’t have a libido?
Asexual: No, I experience little to no sexual attraction!
Allo ™️: Oh I see! It’s a metaphor for hating sex!
Asexual: *pterodactyl screetch￼*
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Ace PSA: My friend made this joke abt aces and she goes “error: attraction not found” please let this be our new community thing
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The way asexuality isn’t understood even in the LGBTQ+ community itself is actually sickening to me.
Earlier today I was having a conversation with three of my classmates (one straight boy, one lesbian, and one bisexual boy). We were talking about being queer and the bi boy brought up asexuality. He said, “That’s when I think it’s gone too far, that’s not normal. Humans naturally want to reproduce, if you don’t want to have sex then there’s something wrong with you.”
I’m asexual but I’m also closeted at school and at home so the only reason I didn’t dispute this at the time was because I didn’t want to raise suspicions by knowing about asexuality. But it was so frustrating because they simply don’t understand what asexuality is. It isn’t always not wanting to have sex, it’s a spectrum. It’s when you don’t feel sexual attraction, not when you don’t feel sexual desire - they’re different things. None of them made any mention of the different places you can be on the spectrum (e.g. sex repulsed, sex neutral, sex favourable, sex ambivalent) and when talking about things such as being demisexual or demiromantic they were dismissive and mocking of the whole idea.
They literally called asexuality a disorder and laughed about it.
Also, his argument about humans naturally needing to reproduce doesn’t even work. He himself is bisexual - his attraction to other guys isn’t going to enable reproduction, so surely by his logic that’s “unnatural” too. And the other girl involved is a lesbian - she and her girlfriend wouldn’t be able to reproduce if they have sex either, so again if we use his logic it’s “unnatural” and “a problem”. But nobody would say that, would they? Nobody who supports LGBTQ+ people would say that their same-sex attraction makes them unnatural because it isn’t true. It’s perfectly natural to be attracted to the same sex. I see no reason that shouldn’t extend to ace people who don’t want to have sex. It is perfectly natural to be sexually attracted to no one at all and to have no sexual desire. Why should this part of our community be excluded and told we have problems for something that doesn’t even make sense?
And what does he mean by “gone too far”? Is it too far to want to be yourself? Is it too far to simply not have sex? Is it too far to express yourself and use your body in a way that makes you feel comfortable? Tell me, why is our basic right to be ourselves taking it too far? Sex is so ingrained in our culture and society that the idea of not doing it is so foreign to some people that they think it’s too far. That is truly disgusting. It isn’t going too far just because you don’t want to have sex. If we are actively being denied this freedom, if we are being judged based on whether or not we choose to share our bodies with other people, then we really need to re-evaluate what the main priorities in our society are.
There’s so much more I could say about this but it hurt having to hear it and it hurts recalling the conversation so I’m going to leave it for a bit. In conclusion, asexuality is unacceptably misunderstood even within the queer community. It isn’t talked about enough in media or in schools so people come away with a flawed understanding of the spectrum and what it actually means to be ace. Not wanting to have sex doesn’t mean you have a problem or something wrong with your brain. People need to be educated about this sort of thing before they spread misinformation and hate.
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Be sex repulsed
Have a libido/sex drive
Sometimes experience sexual attraction
Experience other forms of attraction (romantic, platonic, aesthetic, etc)
A sexual orientation
Part of the LGBT+ community
At least 1% of the population
Not something new, just more known about now
Not a choice
Not a disorder
Not a side effect of medication or mental illness
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Me an aroace: oh their pretty
My brain: oh so you like them you
Me: No, i don’t
My brain: oh so you think their ugly, rude
Me: no they are actually really pretty
my brain: so you want to touch them
Me: a hug wouldn’t be too bad
my brain: you’re a fake ace that’s what you are
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There's so much wrong about that sentence👁👄👁✋🏻
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Honestly, who needs sex when, instead, you can watch cartoons?
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Ace culture is thinking that the song Cake by the Ocean is actually about eating cake on the beach for *years* and then realizing that it is, in fact, not about that
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