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#actually adhd

my meds rly have been saying to me “hey??? i know im here to like do things for u but i dont….i dont feel like it….so im going to make fucking everything worse for u…..because fucj you you fuckinfj bicyhjt” i am not allowed to do anything because EVERYTHING IS LOUD AND I AM IN CONSTANT PAIN AND SUFFERING AND SCHOOL IS HELL AND I FEEL SICK ALL THE TIME AND IM GENUINELY MISERABLE SO YEAH FUCK YOU IM ON THE WRONG MEDS !!! EVERYTHING MAKES ME WANT TO CRY AND THIS IS A PROBLEM AND IM GOING BACK TO THE DOCTOR ON FRIDAY 𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏𓆏FROGS

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ppl who think autism and adhd are different disorders never provide concrete evidence that isnt 1. assuming the default of humanity is having Neither 2. breaking down their differences to basically just mean what meanie words each group can reclaim instead of….actual differences between the two

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I forgot to take my meds this morning.

No wonder I had a shit day and couldn’t focus for shit and wanted to die

:/

Why is it that I never think to check if I took my meds when I feel like garbage?

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I always laugh at the posts that are like “ADHD folks are like” and I’m already scrolling past bc I dont have the attention span to read the post, then I inevitably go back and it’ll say “ADHD folks be like *doesn’t read this post*’ and I laugh like “aha yeah.” And keep scrolling.

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I love the dynamic between me and my therapist

Her with her giving me helpful advice and suggestions to implement and checking back at the end of the week to see how they worked out for me,

Me with my instantly forgetting everything she says and the deep unwavering sense of shame that follows when I have to admit that I didn’t change a single thing

TLDR: having adhd is like living in a Groundhog Day-esque time loop except it’s a coin toss whether or not you’ll actually remember anything to use to your advantage in the next loop

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10am: wow! I took my meds today, I had enough sleep last night, time to get down to work!

5pm: *zoning out to “Secret Tunnel 10 Hour Loop”* wait-

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Adhd people don’t say “I love you”, we say “I remember you exist, even when you’re not here” and I think that’s beautiful

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Zoning out while copying a text is so funny either I’m fascinated how my brain can just work on autopilot or I can laugh about the nonsense I wrote down.

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I think it’s really important in the Studyblr community to see notes from classes and lectures that AREN’T this idea of minimalism. You can still have pretty notes from class, but its okay if they’re not crisp and perfect! At the end of the day, its about how YOU learn best

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And for me, I need my lined paper, my sketches, and bright colors

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Currently in the ADHD rut of: “starting my homework that’s due tomorrow is too daunting, but I’m beyond bored with procrastinating but I can’t stop and oh god it’s 11:49 pm and I have school at 8 am

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Sorry to be down on main lately, but does any autistics/adhders know how to do online classes when your executive functioning and object impermanence is zero?

I did pretty bad last semester, and if I don’t pass all my classes this semester I will have to drop out due to not being able to afford it (aid is threatening suspension). The problem is 3 out of 5 of my classes this sem is online, which I know won’t go well. I’m fine with participating but I struggle with turning in papers or convoluted projects, even with accommodations.

(Also if you want to help me buy groceries at school I can dm my cashapp, but that’s least concern right now)

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You ever get really stressed out over people making fun of your special interest?

Like even when I know they’re joking I feel personally attacked and want to cry or scream at them.

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My school has a really condescending slideshow about How To Remember Things Teachers Say On Call and it’s very annoying, very neurotypical, and it feels slightly ableist. 

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Transtorno do Déficit de Atenção e Hiperatividade (TDAH) é uma desordem neurobiológica complexa que impacta o cérebro em áreas relacionadas ao foco, planejamento e execução de tarefas. É um dos transtornos mais comuns em crianças e adolescentes, normalmente discutido apenas dentro do âmbito escolar ou serviços especializados. O que normalmente não te contam é que o TDAH te acompanha durante toda a vida, muitas vezes com impactos mais nocivos do que algumas notas baixas.

Chegar a idade adulta sem um diagnóstico é também lidar com a sensação constante de fracasso e aprender a criar estratégias de sobrevivência mascarando os sinais. Ser capaz de balancear trabalho, relacionamentos, estudos e saúde mental é exaustivo e, normalmente, saímos prejudicados.

Existem três “tipos” de TDAH: Hiperativo, Inatento e Combinado (um pouco de tradução livre aqui). Os sintomas são comuns a todos os tipos, mas a forma como se apresentam é diferente em cada pessoa. O Hiperativo é o que normalmente carrega o estereótipo do TDAH, são também, em geral,  diagnosticados mais cedo. Os Inatentos são os que aparentam estar sempre “no mundo da lua”, podem parecer mais lentos e distraídos, mas  suas cabeças podem estar correndo a 200km/h! E, finalmente, o Combinado possui características que estão entre os dois tipos anteriores.

Há pouco tempo fui diagnosticada com TDAH-Combinado e muita coisa começou a fazer sentido, estou aprendendo a me conhecer e, mais importante,  a me perdoar. É muito difícil processar o luto sobre a vida que você poderia ter tido caso tivesse sido diagnosticado na infância, perdi vários dias imersa em sonhos acordados que me causaram dores reais. 

O que escrevo é, antes de tudo, relato de processo, do longo e não-linear processo que está sendo remendar eu mesma.


Mais informações sobre sintomas, sinais e recursos disponíveis vou deixar alguns links:

ABDA - Associação Brasileira do Déficit de Atenção

CDC - ADHD

Additude Mag

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