If a child is so afraid of getting in trouble that they don't come to their parents when they make a mistake that could possibly put their health or even their life in danger, then those parents have failed.
If something goes wrong, and the first thing that child thinks is, "oh god, my parents are gonna kill me," then the parents have failed.
If a child is afraid of their parents, if the child sees their parents as an active threat instead of a source of safety and guidance, then the parents have failed.
A parents job is to protect, to teach, to guide.
If a parent makes themself a danger to the child, in any capacity, then that parent has failed.
21K notes · View notes
I actually don't recall ever seeing a positivity post for ppl w ongoing amnesia caused by trauma disorders. I'm not talking just repressed childhood memories, I mean perpetual long-term memory loss. I mean continuing to forget non-traumatic things that happened or ppl you knew a few years or even months ago. I mean struggling to retain any information you're learning if you don't constantly go over the same material over and over again, and losing it all once you stop repeating it
If you have amnesia like me, you matter. We navigate the world a bit differently but that's okay. Just bc our brains are broken doesn't mean we can't live happy and fulfilling lives. Be patient w yourself when learning new things. Surround yourself w compassionate ppl who love to tell you stories abt past exploits you may have forgotten. Also, hey, who else gets to watch a movie for the first time every time? Above all be kind to yourself.
13K notes · View notes
Having a child is a long term commitment to a heavy, heavy responsibility which demands energy, attention, and time.
To have a child is to bring an entire person into the world. This person can not consent to this. This person is inherently vulnerable, hardwired to depend on you, and must be taught the skills neccessary to one day care for themself.
When you have a child, that child's well being is entirely on you. It's your job to keep them safe, to keep them fed, cloathed, and happy. It's your job to make sure they feel loved.
When you choose to have a child, you are signing up to spend years and years of resources on that child. That is your choice. The child was not alive and could not agree to your decision to drag them out of the void of nonexistence. The child was not asked if they wanted to experience an entire lifetime of conciousness, and all of the potential suffering and agony that comes with that.
That decision is entirely that of the parent who has made the choice to have a child.
You are not "granting the gift of life." You are not doing this hypothetical child a favor by having them. You are doing this for you, because you wanted to be a parent. You wanted to have the experience of raising a child.
This means that if you have a child, you owe that child. You owe them time, and love, and safety, and care. You asked for this, it is now your responsibly to follow through.
Children are not a toy. They aren't a fancy new car for you to parade to your friends. They aren't a fashion accessory for you to put on the shelf when you lose interest. They aren't a mini you. They aren't a magic cure-all to your trauma, and they aren't there to fill some void in your chest.
They are a vulnerable person who is easily abused and neglected and who will be at your mercy throughout much of their development period.
A parent owes their child. Failing to follow through with the responsibility they signed up for is a failing on the parent's part. Making the child feel guilty for the crime of existing is the fault of the parent. A child is never a burden.
Abusive and neglectful parents are failures as parents. They could not do the bare basics of what the job entails and then they blame the child for a crime that the parents themselves committed.
14K notes · View notes