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#actually just. lost motivation in the middle but here you go
forevermoreharrington · 4 months
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The first fall of snow - R.C
Rafe Cameron x female!reader
A/n: bf!rafe
Warnings: none
Word count: 1.2k
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December, 
She tapped on his window, her white gloves making the sound a little muffled but the frosted glass still making enough noise to hopefully wake Rafe up. She knocked a little harder until a light flicked on. She scrunched her nose up, feeling the frosty air biting her face for the first time that year. It had finally snowed and her boyfriend was missing it.
When he came to the window he had pillow lines imprinted on his cheeks, and his hair was so messy from sleep that it actually looked a little fluffy for once. She adored when he was half asleep like this, when she slept over and got to see him just like he was now, he just looked so much softer.
Rafe lifted the window, letting the cosy warmth from his heated bedroom hit her for a moment before she went right back to not being able to feel her fingers again. The cold air was practically sneaking in his room but she hoped he wouldn;t mind too much about that.
“What are you doing?” He tilted his head to the side so he could see her better, trying to fight the tried smile that was threatening his lips. He wanted to still have the right to be annoyed at being woken up in the middle of the night without his face betraying him and letting her know that he didn’t mind that much. 
“It's snowing.” She smiled brightly, her lips softly curving up and her eyes shining with a hint of innocence most people had lost by her age. It was that smile that always twisted his arm, that made him do things he wouldn’t have imagined himself ever doing, that made him weak and pathetic but yet unable to stop from smiling himself. 
It also made it impossible for him to be mad at her, to shut the window and go back to bed, to tell her, like he would if it was anyone else, just how annoying this was. It made him turn back and reach for his shoes, which he supposed he should’ve done the second he realised it was her at the window, because he knew exactly what she was going to say next. 
“Come on!” She hurried him, too excited to wait much longer and a little worried that all the snow would disappear by the time Rafe was ready. 
If it had suddenly stopped and melted away in the time it was taking him to put his shoes on she would’ve felt awful for not waking him sooner for not getting here fast enough and for letting him talk her out of the fact that had not forecasted snow and that whatever feeling she had about the chill in the air was wrong. Which of course it wasn’t.
She hadn't thought much about convincing him to come outside with her, she kind of just knew somehow that he'd go along with whatever she was doing anyway. All she had to use against him if he had said no to her perfect snowy night was some doe-eyes and a pretty little pout. 
He warned her not to rush along his very icy steps, every year the front doorstep became some kind of ice rink and every single year she slipped. And of course she wasn’t listening to him saying something about it being frozen over because she very clearly slipped and almost fell. 
She would have slipped if Rafe hadn’t been there to catch her arm and keep her standing up right, like every year before and probably every winter to come, with the most I told you so smirk on his lips possible. 
“You gotta be more careful.” He shook his head at her, still managing to look cute to her even when he was being all condescending because he was right. It was hard to take him seriously or care too much about his ego when his face was flushed red, his cheeks were frost bitten and his nose like one particular shining reindeers. 
She nodded, biting her lip and pretending to agree with him, pulling on his arm with ulterior motives to get him down the steps and into the snow. He let her tug at him until his shoes disappeared under the fresh white layer, they were probably ruined now. 
He scrunched up his nose when he released the bottoms of his pyjamas were getting wet as the snow started to melt against his much warmer skin, making his ankles feel blue. This was why he liked summer, summer didn’t make him shiver while he stood out in the garden, even at night and it didn’t make his socks freezing wet either.
He was going to blame it all on her, to tell her just how cold he was, how he couldn’t feel his hands and how she had dragged him away from his nice warm bed and his nice warm house.
But the snow was on her side. Falling perfectly onto her, catching on her lashes as she tipped her head back a little to look up as it fell from the clouds. Tiny snowflakes sat on her coat and didn't seem to melt away like they should have, and she looked cold but the kind of cold that just didn't seem to bother her because she was too happy to mind. 
Summer was his but Winter belonged to her. And that winter weather that he wouldn't mind missing every year adored his girl, it made her dizzy like a little kid and it made her come running over to him because out of everyone she wanted to share it with him. Maybe it wasn't so cold outside after all. 
“What?” She had noticed how he hadn't moved and that he had just been watching her for a moment. Whenever she caught him staring at her like this she didn't feel like his girlfriend, she felt like a lovesick teenager with a crush on him, finally being noticed. 
“Nothing.” Nothing. She hated when he said that, when he did that, it wasn't fair on her heart and it made it far too hard for her to think straight. He had to have known that.
He shook his head, muttering something to himself before leaning down, his hands turning to ice the second he touched the white snow. Pressing it between his hands he made a snowball and gave her one second to realise what he was doing before he threw it right at her, making her squeal like this wasn't why she had woken him in the first place. 
She wanted to throw the snow right back at him, she really wanted to make sure the snow fell down his shirt like it had hers but there was no chance when Rafe's arms were already around her pulling her into him and taking her wrists into his hand so she had no way of fighting back. 
Every year it snowed he always won their snowball fights because he always played dirty, and she was going to inform him of this like she always did but he spun her around and kissed her, with the kind of kiss that made her cheeks burn even with his cold hands pressed to holding her still, all just to shut her up. Because he already knew exactly what she was going to say. 
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onyourhyuck · 11 months
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White Night. | J.JH
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— Prologue: “He treats me well.” + “Good for you.” - “But he’s not you.”
— Summary: You’re in a relationship with Jungwoo, it’s healthy and sweet. It’s a relationship you’ve been dreaming about for a while. But it’s not your failed relationship Jung Jaehyun.
— Genre: Romance Smut, minors dni. Mention of Cheating (y/n is wrong for this) heavy kissing, hairpulling, giving head (f receiving), handcuffs are involved later on, fast and slow stimulation purposely. A lot of begging involved. Mentions of breeding. Y/n is a big red flag tbh. I don’t support cheating (this is only for fic purposes) dirty talk and lots of degrading going on.
— Notes: Was listening to White Night by Nct127 writing this…
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You were conflicted with your own body and feelings when you are standing outside your ex boyfriend’s apartment awfully late at night wondering why you are coming to the doorstep you aren’t supposed to. Somehow this whole forbidden sensation and time of space has been making you want to do it more, having your boyfriend not know what you are doing behind his back and this whole situation just makes your skin crawl with goosebumps. The past memories of this place makes it feel like a foreign place but you know deep down this place used to be your home. It used to be a place where you felt like you belonged with the one you loved.
But now it’s just a grey painted canvas in front of you looking like the home you never knew about. It was crazy how things can change in over a year. You wonder if Jaehyun changed or did he stay the same. You’re wondering if he was okay and if he still used the same cologne, if he still ate the same food he used to eat with you, if he still works at the same workplace at that company. There were thoughts like this running in and out of your head one by one.
The courage to knock on the door was very dim you could barely touch up on it. The very small part of your consciousness was holding you back telling you to stop and retreat back, yet the ninety percent of your body was practically ready to knock on it; you were desperate to see Jaehyun. You were longing for him day and night. It’s awful that you can’t stop thinking back on him. When you were single it was so easy to move and stop worrying about Jaehyun, he didn’t cross your mind once when you were single. But suddenly when you are in a relationship — in a loving and healthy relationship with a lovely boy your mind has been betraying you.
It is a horrible thing. You never want to do this. You don’t even approve of cheating but here you are knocking on someone’s door that you used to date for about three years. Now someone is going to get hurt in the middle because of you and your selfish decisions. You always make these wrong doings and somehow you never learn from them. As your hand caress on the door banging on it twice it would take a few minutes until you heard footsteps from the opposite door unlocking it. When the door swung open revealing a young man around six foot wearing a plain white tee shirt that fit his muscular build quite well and the glasses fitting the bridge.
The soft silky blonde locks were pushed back by his hands running through it to brush it out. Jaehyun stares at you with a dazed expression, equally as lost as yours, however the same lingering thoughts on you came up. How were you doing? What have you been up to? Do you still drink that tea he recommended to you? It was these questions that made his poor ole’ heart hurt and ache.
Jaehyun spoke out softly despite him questioning your real motives and wondering why so late you are knocking on his apartment door. “What are you doing here so late Y/n?”
It was such a small question but so hard to answer.
Your saliva sucks back into your throat. You weren’t expecting him to actually stay this calm and not tell you to get lost. He had every right to tell you to go away — afterall you broke up with him. You are the reason this situation has came to an extreme end like this. Jaehyun was a simple bystander to you. Your voice comes out small but enough to be heard. “I… don’t know i guess i wanted to see how you were doing.”
Your response was very clear. Jaehyun couldn’t read through it however. It’s as if one foot was on his side but your left foot was on the other side. He couldn’t tell the real answer and reality with different feet in very vast different ways to go. You can’t halfway ass this too. Jaehyun isn’t here for a giggle.
He stares you downwards. “You wanted to chat with me at three in the morning. That’s it?” He paused seeing you nod at his words. He looks back inside his apartment sully not understanding it. “Okay. How you been y/n?” Nevertheless he still asked how you were. He never once not asked you.
After all he still cares but this doesn’t give you an excuse to come out so late just for a little chat so unannounced.
You look at him couldn’t help but stare into his eyes so deeply that you could get lost in it for decades upon decades. “I’ve been well Jaehyun, you look like you’ve been fine too.” You add with a small smile.
Oh how Jaehyun wished that smile was something he can see every single day on his way to from and from his way to work. Your smile was heavenly enough for him to melt into a puddle. To hear you say you’re doing well was both a bittersweet feeling. He wants you to be happy. He is glad you are in fact happy. But he’s a bit more bitter that you’re not happy with him — it was a weird feeling.
And then his mind wonders off so far as much as his heart was further away from asking you something he had been yearning to hear you say. “And how’s… your boyfriend?” Jaehyun’s eyes fell down to the ground. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t of asked that.’ He thought deeply to himself.
The question brought you into a deep prance. You weren’t expecting Jaehyun to ask you about Jungwoo. Heck you weren’t even aware he knew but he does. Some part of you was hoping that perhaps he misses you just as much as you miss him.
“Oh… oh he’s good.” Your voice stops midway as you smile. “He treats me well.” You say to Jaehyun as your thumbs fiddle with each other nervously perking up to watching Jaehyun.
He gives you a smile full of irony. “Good for you.”
“But he’s not you.” You shut him up instantly with your words crash landing on him like he was a railway forward crushing underneath the weigh of your feet. The way his eyes widen as round as globe made you think you were never going to regret this even if this was the worse horrible decision you could ever do to another human being — you were tired of pretending you don’t miss Jaehyun. You were done with this act. You made a mistake letting someone like him go. Jaehyun pushed forward as you launch yourself to him kissing Jaehyun deeply.
For once again you were reconnected with a kiss you were dreaming every night, every night brought a depressing memory that was a happy one in the present and now it became a reality to you where you’re making out with your ex boyfriend. Jaehyun wanted to let you go and tell you to stop, that this is wrong because you’re with someone else, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t bring himself to make you stop. You were a gem in his life he was missing just as much. You’re irreplaceable. Every little touch to your fingertip on his skin crawling up like as if spiders were roaming on the body. You give him goosebumps, adrenaline, fear and love. You give him everything he could ever ask for.
Your tongues brush together in a manner like you were drawing on a canvas together finally painting a new chapter together. Your mouths close and open up wide letting enough access between you to sensually kiss as your bodies were twirling in and round each other like a red ribbon to tie a knot. Your knot. Our knot. Jaehyun lifts your body up high pushing you down onto the bed where you lay flat there with your thighs open wide straddling his bottom half on the body. The white sweatpants he wore were soft but not as soft as his baby-like skin. It was a cold complexion but his emotions were a burning rage of ember.
It was unbelievably hot to be underneath Jaehyun watching the plain tee shirt slip and slide off his body just like with ease as if it were nothing but made up of air. Now to your body his hands were growing everywhere on you beginning to explore you once more even though he remembers every detail about you he couldn’t possibly forget you. If he tried it wasn’t possible for him and if he didn’t try he would wallow in your empty presence but now that you’re back it was like a little thing reborn to him. This night was going to be long and he’s going to make it right for you that you will never get enough.
Your mouths shift away for a breather but as your eyes were closed and your clothes were off on the ground scattering somewhere in his dark black bedroom you let out a murmur of pleasant sighs holding out your arms to grab his neck as he was burying his face deep down between your chests fondling them and kissing every little space and inch. Your nipples were sensitive to his kisses which always made him smile deep inside . He loves seeing them go hard with an instant second. It proves how much of an effect he has on you, just as much as you have on him between his legs growing hard just for you.
He could hear you gasp when he lifts your hips up as his body manoeuvres out to the nightstand opening the bottom drawer just to get a pair of silver metallic handcuffs. Your eyes glimpse at the item with pupils growing larger as if you were filled with a new excitement. ‘This was new’,, you thought. Your voice trails over to the handcuffs when Jaehyun reaches to your wrists you obedient gave and not fought back. “What’s with the handcuffs? This is new.” Your wrists stay in the air up to the frame attaching to the bed.
Jaehyun looks down at you from above lifting your chin up with the edge of his thumb putting it under your face. He whispers so sweetly but it was a dangerous kind of sweet gesture. As if he was going to give you the best night of your life ever given. “Oh just a little something i picked up on after you left… i knew they would come handy in the future.” Your ears perk up at the flirting signal on his eyes resting so coolly with his eyebrows. “Oh… that’s kinda hot.” You whisper as your eyes fell down to his lips kissing him deeply once again.
“Oh yeah? There will be plenty of more stuff to come baby don’t you worry.” He whispers in between the kisses taking breaks before fully he pulls away just to hover above your aching pussy pleading for some hand or any kind of pressure to it. Jaehyun was about to give you that right away you’ve been wanting so badly. His mouth reattached to your entrance giving it a plentiful boost amount of sucking and licking; it started off with kitten licks only to open wide and completely devour you from inside and out like you were a stuffy toy.
Your urge to release and come in that moment was so close but you didn’t want it to end just yet. Jaehyun was making it very hard not to finish so quickly you never had this much of a good feeling. You missed it. It brought back so many memories from the past you share with Jaehyun it’s just something you couldn’t get with Jungwoo. Sure he wasn’t bad in bed either but he hardly goes down on you. Unlike Jaehyun he was a master at going down on you with so much knowledge he could learn over the three years being with you. He not only knows your weakness spots where he could pleasure you easily but he knows your emotional weaknesses too. He knows what to whisper into your ear when he makes love with you. He knows you.
Your hips stutter back with each synching mount movement on the man eating you out like he must’ve been starved forever it was unbelievable how fast he would go in and not stop for so long. Not until you come as hard as you can and when you did release your mouth aches wide moaning out at the highest top of your lungs. “Jaehyun… I’m!”
He wanted to tell you he knows you are. He knows that you are at your limits because he could feel you and now he can taste you once again which he never wants to stop. Jaehyun looks up at your rosey cheeks and the warm heated smile you shown as you readjust on the bed. He lifts himself up and pulls your hair down pressing your head flat on the pillows to lay down there roughly. Suddenly his hips click into you and now a stretching yearning pull out on your body makes you jolt in surprise. The way his cock made you feel so much more overwhelmed than before was amazing you weren’t even aware of it until Jaehyun let’s you rest on his thick and girthy cock leaving your velvet walls take him in.
He wasn’t going to let this end however and he didn’t care if he was absolutely going to edge himself just to have a longer night with you. Jaehyun was deep down afraid of you leaving again after this. He didn’t want this to end he wanted it to last forever and only forever. The loneliness you left on his heart after you broke up with him was the biggest pain he has ever experienced and he’s not the type to cry over a lover before until it was you who held the gun to him with your words saying goodbye. If you’re leaving again he won’t know what to do but at least he can spent a loving night with you under him that he can remember you for. You were wanting to beg him underneath to move but something in your heart and head tells you that Jaehyun won’t do as you say.
You whisper tugging on the handcuff restraints forgetting you were tied up. You couldn’t reach him. “Jaehyun can you move?” Your insides were clenching for every bit pressure and friction they can get. You were needing a release. Jaehyun however only smirks down at you leaning down with a glint of evil behind those loving romantic eyes. “Beg for me if you really want it.” Jaehyun shot at you.
“Tell me you want me and not Jungwoo. Tell me you wanted me inside you all this time and not Jungwoo. Tell me how much you missed me.” His voice lowers down. “Tell me you regret breaking up with me.”
He shot at you like he was a wicked gun wanting to take you down. Jaehyun had a literal hold on you physically and spiritually you can see and hear his words having a good toll on you that you weren’t sa aware he did have. For anything you would do for him. Everything and anything even if it made you feel so pathetic. You weren’t ever so humiliated as you are now but something about being forced into submission by your ex boyfriend unaware that your boyfriend was sleeping peacefully and you were getting your brains fucked out by Jaehyun made you feel ashamed and humiliated.
You gasp when Jaehyun’s hands caress your bare throat before grabbing it tightly letting you feel a strong impact yet enough for you to be able to breathe. “I- I want you only you. I regret leaving you. Please fuck me already… I missed you so much.”
There was a sense of achievement inside Jaehyun he has been able to do and that is having you underneath him looking so sensually fucked out begging to be rail in on his bed even though you have a perfected fitted boyfriend you still wanted him. Jaehyun felt a massive ego boost and this was enough for him to take pleasure in looking back on. To see you crying and begging like this? It made him satisfied to say the least. And he obliged just as you gave in. His cock purse inside you like a weapon ready to go with every thrust there was a surprising turn to how your stomach curls up deep within taking every strong impactful force action — it made you want to twist and turn as your insides were railing against your ex boyfriend’s cock burying deep within you just makes this seem more natural.
It has only made you realise how much you missed this. You missed Jaehyun’s touch, kisses, love and words, the purest affection and how he treats you in bed like you’re a complete whore for him. You are just for him whatever he wants you to be. But just as much as he was to you, you couldn’t live with this regret of ever leaving behind your own family. Jaehyun loves seeing your lewd expressions go with every single bump going in you. He was ready for your walls to milk him dry just as much as he was ready to fill you up. His feral thoughts have left a trace of unfiltered words. Words he didn’t have the courage to say to you but now that he was so far lost inside you deep but going deeper now too.
“Look at yourself Y/n. You love going to your ex boyfriend’s doorstep and getting fucked on his bed? You love being slut out by me right? This is exactly what you wanted isn’t it.” You wanted to say yes to everything because it’s true. He read you as if you were a blank book.
Jaehyun exhales. “Fucking hell Y/n. You’re still as hot as before. But now you’re dirtier. How did you get so fucking lewd?” The way your ears loved hearing him talk down on you as he was something else. You couldn’t help but fall a little bit closer than before to climax. “If you’re going to cum then do it now. It’s what you’re good at.” He slurs on his last ends.
Your body couldn’t handle much more of that and just as he ends his words your body came crashing down and releasing a streak of water down below climaxing on his cock. Jaehyun sighs desperately seeing you releasing right there and then it only aroused him more to his finish soon. His gaze staring down at your legs trembling as you were shaken up by your gigantic orgasms he wasn’t going to stop now and practically lets his hands grab your thighs folding them up and starts ramming in to you at an inhuman speed you couldn’t ever imagine.
The metallic handcuffs rattle against the bed frame so much because Jaehyun was going in and out of you quickly you could tell by his messy pace he was nearing close and then after you. Your body was cramped and folded like a freaking ball just rammed in with pleasure overflowing with you and your wrists attached up becoming red and hurting now that he was dragging you down into the bedsheets so hard.
His voice was multitude of pants you couldn’t ignore. “I’m going to fill you up with my load so when you come back to Jungwoo he can have something to think about.” Your eyes clench shut imagining the scene already only to push Jaehyun to the limit where he finally released inside you.
The warmth levitating from his come inside you so deep made you jolt and softly smile at the thought of relieving himself in you. Jaehyun took a few moments to readjust and pull out slowly letting the liquid ooze out in a slow motion he would watch it slow before slanting next to your body dropping there and letting the handcuffs full off your wrists.
He spoke out against the bedsheets as he was watching you. “Leave him Y/n.”
Your gaze turns to Jaehyun.
“Please. Come back to me.” He asked you this time in a gentle tone completely different from what you saw earlier when he was on top of you ramming. You shift coming forward rolling on the side bringing his face in your hands pulling the man forward.
As you did your lips connect in a soft romantic kiss coming with a soft ending. It felt like time has stopped once again with you on his lips.
You hum pulling out. “Okay. Let’s spend the White Night together what do you say then?” Jaehyun couldn’t agree more to that idea.
NCT SMUT FICS.
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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating and copyrighting my work thank youu!! Please reblog and follow me for more updates it helps a girl out.
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leportraitducadavre · 6 months
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My interpretation of Itachi's character is fairly contrasting with yours. I pose my arguments against your analysis. I hope I would get a lead unto having an unbiased opinion.
Itachi's position in here between was a rock and a hard place. Having witnessed horrors of wars he chose to the stop war. It wasn't the best decision but even still he accomplished many things.
A new Forth Great Ninja war was prevented. Uchihas plan wasn't to reform the government it was to take control of them. Their desires were clearly reflected in their demands. While half of them was about freedom, the rest was only to control village. This, along with Obito's plan for revenge and war, will definitely start a war.
Madara, with the pact, was foiled for more than seven years long enough for the strong Shinobis like Naruto and Sasuke to grow up and defeat him.
Sasuke's life was saved. Itachi would go at all lengths to protect his brother. Afterall, its only obvious he would be over-protective of Sasuke since both loved each other a lot(as siblings).
The Uchiha's reputation were saved. Imagine what would have happened to the Uchihas after the war. The people were already suspicious of the Uchihas and now we will have never ending persecution and would be branded as traitors, doesn't matter if the coup won or lost. The coup wasn't about reforming anyway.
People in the village got to be safe too.
And despite all these he still regretted a lot enough that he wanted the person he adored the most to kill him. Also, no one here is trying to justify his action. A justification and a reason has a clear distinction. Just because there was a reason it doesn't make the acts were justified. He himself acknowledged that. The writer didn't try to justify nor did Itachi himself. People like, Hashirama and Naruto, appreciated the role he played and praised him as a Shinobi.(being seen as a villan while protecting the people isn't easy, btw). They weren't justifying or glorifying his actions in any instance.
He wasn't an absolute nationalist. He he was an idealist. His motivations most cases(especially while making big decisions)were to 'not beget war' and 'maintain peace'. Doesn't matter if Uchihas managed to control the village it still starts war, death, destruction and countless losses which is exactly what Itachi hated from when he was 4. He also wanted to reform the village by becoming a Hokage. He wanted to wiped out the entire ninja system since ninjas were the ones who were used as a weapon for the Diamoyo start constant wars. The Leaf was sort of obnoxious in the time of Tobirama and Hiruzen's regime. But even still, the Hokages were good and passionate and also the people were innocent.
A new Forth Great Ninja war was prevented. Uchihas plan wasn't to reform the government it was to take control of them. Their desires were clearly reflected in their demands. While half of them was about freedom, the rest was only to control village. This, along with Obito's plan for revenge and war, will definitely start a war.
How do you even know it was prevented? Shisui stating that hidden villages will take advantage of Konoha’s civil war to invade was just a fear that was actually constantly proven wrong throughout the series; when Suna invaded and Konoha was destroyed (forcing it to send their most powerful shinobi out of the village to collect money) no other village took advantage of the situation, not even Kumo or Iwa, two of the big five that were not struggling politically or militarily as Suna, Kiri and Konoha were. Kumogakure even tried to kidnap Hinata while in the middle of signing a peace treaty, yet they did nothing against the Hyüga clan nor the village during one of their most vulnerable state.
Furthermore, you mean to tell me that a civil war (I am using that notion generously because Konoha is a military state with a non-civilian population, specifically trained for combat) destabilizes the military and economic power of a city, yet the complete disappearance overnight of one of the village's founding and most powerful clans does nothing to its structure? Other villages wouldn’t see the absence of Sharingan-wielders as an enticing opportunity to strike? Do you mean to tell me that a village was left without police to control it overnight (and their job is considered super important by detractors), yet the city did not succumb to chaos?
Their desires were clearly reflected in their demands.
What were their demands? Enlighten me.
While half of them was about freedom, the rest was only to control village.
Where do you get this information from? There’s nothing of the sort stated in the manga.
This, along with Obito's plan for revenge and war, will definitely start a war.
Obito’s plan needed the annihilation of the Sharingan-wielders as he didn’t want anyone capable of obtaining the Mangekyou to jeopardize his plan to control the ten-tails, Itachi killing the Uchiha literally allowed Obito to start the war!! 
Madara, with the pact, was foiled for more than seven years long enough for the strong Shinobis like Naruto and Sasuke to grow up and defeat him.
… what? This doesn’t make any sense and has nothing to do with Itachi… you mean to tell me that Itachi killing his clan made Sasuke as powerful as he is? Because Sasuke has always been powerful and has always been Indra’s transmigrant, and as I’ve said, Obito wouldn’t have been able to initiate the war (or at least would’ve been incredibly difficult for him) with the Uchiha clan still alive!
Sasuke's life was saved. Itachi would go at all lengths to protect his brother. Afterall, its only obvious he would be over-protective of Sasuke since both loved each other a lot(as siblings).
An eight-year-old was tortured mentally by his brother through Tsukuyomi by watching his clan and parents get killed over and over again, was left to live alone in a compound destroyed by his brother’s actions, having to clean his parents’ own blood and fend for himself –but at least he’s alive… the circumstances and solitude in which he grew is abysmal, traumatic, negligent and inhumane, but we don’t care as much about children’s safety as we do children being just alive.
There were other children in that compound, children that knew nothing of and participated not in the coup to which Itachi didn’t extend the same kindness he did his brother.
The Uchiha's reputation were saved. Imagine what would have happened to the Uchihas after the war. The people were already suspicious of the Uchihas and now we will have never ending persecution and would be branded as traitors, doesn't matter if the coup won or lost. The coup wasn't about reforming anyway.
What “reputation”? The Uchiha were always constructed under a negative light within Tobirama’s system, you lot keep saying they were saved from being seen as detractors when there’s not a single panel that states they were planning to change the system as a whole (rather take down the current government, which is not the same).
Furthermore, to think that they cared about the rest of the population's mindset regarding them is so incredibly simplistic I have to laugh at it –they’re the strongest clan in the village, without Uchiha, there’d have been no village in the first place, and they were already aware of the unfavorable perspective in which they were regarded by others, nothing in itself would’ve changed.
The Uchiha being seen as loyal to the village helped no one but the current system as it is, as they’re seen as a government without opposition, it wasn’t about maintaining the Uchiha’s honor, but keeping the fragile credit of the structure and those in power -if Uchiha died in their own terms, then other clans will know about the clan’s discomfort with the current mindset, and those that feel uncomfortable with it might find a group that validates such sentiments:
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Kakashi admits to being uncomfortable with the way he's viewed by the system, he even uses plural when referring to ninja ("we ninja") -meaning there's a communal uneasiness with the whole situation.
The fact that the government silenced detractors (Uchiha) by killing them will only deepen further the general shinobi population's discomfort, which is why is imperative to silence the truth.
[On another note, why do you keep using "honor" as an excuse to execute an entire compound of people? The entire clan was decimated and the whole "honor" of the family rested as another responsibility Sasuke had to endure all by himself thanks to "Itachi's love" -they were left with no honor as Sasuke was forced to restore it! Furthermore, they're all dead! What is "honor" gonna do for them? For the massacred innocents at least? They did nothing wrong and were killed regardless, their honorable nature wasn't even being questioned!]
People in the village got to be safe too.
Safe of what? When was it stated they were going to fight against those who weren’t in power? The problem is they rebelling against those they deem their oppressors but not the government refusing to renounce their power in order to keep the “population they hold so dear” safe? They are both willing to kill innocents (so I guess some people in the village weren’t safe, but in your book, they don’t matter as much), and use the rest of the military population to strike against Uchiha (which is also, never actually stated!). The idea of a “within war” was never confirmed as the Uchiha had no chance to strike, no one is to say they weren’t trying to take power through force yet quietly, no one is to know what was their actual plan as that was never brought to light!
The Uchiha are wrong for wanting to take the power but the government isn't wrong for wanting to keep it, the Uchiha are wrong for their methods to seek authority but not the government for defending the status quo. Uchiha having power would mean annihilation, somehow, despite them being against just their oppressors, not Konoha as a whole; while the government seeks to protect the village despite massacring an entire and most important portion of their militia and one of the founders' clans.
And despite all these he still regretted a lot enough that he wanted the person he adored the most to kill him. 
He regretted nothing, he wanted Sasuke to kill him in order to both give him an objective and to distract him from finding out Konoha’s involvement in the Uchiha Massacre, shouldering the entire responsibility of their demisse.
Also, no one here is trying to justify his action. 
But you are, you wrote point after point why he had to kill his clan.
A justification and a reason has a clear distinction.
What distinction? You need to expand on the notions you think are relevant to you own argument. 
Just because there was a reason it doesn't make the acts were justified. He himself acknowledged that. The writer didn't try to justify nor did Itachi himself. People like, Hashirama and Naruto, appreciated the role he played and praised him as a Shinobi.(being seen as a villan while protecting the people isn't easy, btw). They weren't justifying or glorifying his actions in any instance.
What are you even writing? I’m being honest with that question, claiming to have a reason to kill his clan is used as a justification for his actions! I can’t believe I have to explain that to you. He never said he had no justification (their coup was treated as such over and over, everyone took advantage of them wanting to coup in order to both order the massacre and carry it out!!).
How on earth can you write “People like Hashirama and Naruto appreciated the role he played and praised him as a shinobi but they never justified him”, so are they praising him or not? Them positively reinforcing Itachi and praising him for “his sacrifice” (you see, not only he is perceived as a villain, he is a villain, he killed an entire kin -again, innocents included, in order to maintain specific people in power) is justifying his actions under the notion of the “greater good for the village”. 
He wasn't an absolute nationalist.
He did everything for Konoha! He even claimed himself to be “Itachi of the Leaf!” What are you even talking about?
He he was an idealist. His motivations most cases(especially while making big decisions)were to 'not beget war' and 'maintain peace'. 
Yet his actions concluded in Obito being able to control the Ten Tails with almost no real opposition as the only other Sharingan-wielder was Sasuke.
Doesn't matter if Uchihas managed to control the village it still starts war, death, destruction and countless losses which is exactly what Itachi hated from when he was 4. 
How do you know? Do you have an entirely new manga written by Kishimoto about what would’ve happened had the Uchiha taken over the village? Itachi hated Uchiha since he was four because they brought “war, death and destruction” but not Konoha that actually provoked such wars, deaths, and destruction, what an intelligent boy! 
You have to be a troll because, man, “unbiased opinion” my ass. Also, did you just come to my blog with arguments coming from Itachi Shinden? The story not written by Kishimoto?
He also wanted to reform the village by becoming a Hokage. He wanted to wiped out the entire ninja system since ninjas were the ones who were used as a weapon for the Diamoyo start constant wars. 
Funny, under Hiruzen’s regime he would’ve never become Hokage, furthermore, when did he even hinted to want to become Hokage?? Never in the entire manga. Also, the Daimyo did little to nothing when it came to wars, those were all the Kage’s responsibilities! Dear Lord, did you at least read Team 10’s Arc? Asuma’s background literally explains how the Shugonin Jūnishi fought each other because six of them wanted the entire military power of the Land of Fire to be managed by the Daimyo alone while the rest, Asuma included, defended the Hokage’s existence. 
The Leaf was sort of obnoxious in the time of Tobirama and Hiruzen's regime. But even still, the Hokages were good and passionate and also the people were innocent.
Which people were innocent? The children and non-Sharingan wielders that knew nothing of the coup and were massacred regardless? How can you write “the Hokages were good” while they literally ordered the mass killing of people they swore to protect? How can you use “obnoxious” and “good” to describe the same two people?!
Gosh, the fact that you lot (Itachi stans) don’t comprehend that his involvement in the massacre of his own people alongside the protagonist’s endorsement of state-sanctioned genocide, makes the annihilation of an entire portion of a village a plausible option to handle internal disagreements is disastrous.
Committing genocide against the village’s own people sets a dangerous precedent where future governments can see and use such slaughter as a conceivable, even necessary, tool at their disposal whenever they feel threatened, making any clan vulnerable to the decisions of its government and guaranteeing the silence of possible detractors or even the censorship of constructive criticism of the political, military, economic and cultural system.
Jesus.
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lilyginnyblackv2 · 1 year
Text
Hmm, this is interesting to think about:
In Episode 7, we see how Yuzuko and Kazuki first met. 
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She found him in a field of hydrangeas during the rainy season, holding an umbrella. He was at a low point here, in the sense of being very badly wounded and in need of physical help, which I am going to assume Yuzuko provided for him.
 We also get the full picture of her death in this week’s episode as well.
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It is, once again, the rainy season and she is holding the same umbrella. So Kazuki met her and lost her around the same time of year. This adds even more depth and emotion to Karin’s words to Kazuki:
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“So the thought that you only remember her looking sad...”
Since it is highlighting her later sentiment that “memories aren’t prisons.” Kazuki was locking himself in the memory of her death during this time of the year, rather than the memory of his meeting her. 
Now, when it comes to Rei, we don’t know when exactly it was that the two of them met. But it was likely a good bit before the events of Episode 1, since there was a familiarity between the two of them already. The interesting thing here though is that Rei didn’t find Kazuki like Yuzuko did, it seems more like Kazuki found him. This is based off of the February Animedia interview where the producer, Toba says:
Kazuki is very family-oriented; he's the so-called maternal type. The reason why he started living together with Rei is that he saw the complete shambles of Rei's lifestyle, went, 'This won't do!' and started fussing over him.
And we know from Rei’s general personality and the dynamic they have going on that Rei follows Kazuki, not the other way around. So, at his lowest he sought out someone to care for. But when it was just him and Rei, they were still at their lowest, diving deep into their bad habits and styles of living. 
They were both just in survival mode. They weren’t really living though. 
The one who finds Kazuki this time though is Miri. 
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She finds him when he is at his lowest, and her existence in his life gives him the motivation to start changing and to start actually living again. This was in the middle of the winter, when everything is dead. And then this little ball of energy and sunshine entered his life. She provided him the same chance at a family that Yuzuko did, though obviously in a very different way than her (through being a daughter as opposed to a romantic partner and wife like Yuzuko).
And he jumped at the chance. We see him accepting her into his life slowly, bit by bit and through various different aspects and areas. But he still has boundaries set up, he still has a part of himself that is holding back, and he still sees Miri as something that was given to him in a way, then something he actively sought out.  At the end of Episode 7, though we see him “find” Miri. 
He chooses to go back to her. 
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He also chooses to go back to Rei too. When he looks softly at the end of Episode 7, it is a look directed at both Miri and Rei. He’s proud and happy to see that Rei actually stepped up and took care of Miri. His warm smile is at the thought of him having a true second chance at a family again, without past memories blocking emotional bonds and connections.
And the thing is, this all happens, again, during the rainy season. Kazuki was, imo, seriously contemplating not returning at various points in this episode. But, he decided to go back to this unexpected family instead of losing the chance again, during the rainy season.
Episode 7 was a great leap in Kazuki’s character development. He’s finally starting to allow himself to properly heal, and like how Yuzuko found him when he was at a low point and in bad shape during the rainy season 5 years ago, Kazuki is here now, in the rainy season, actively returning to Rei when Rei is at his lowest point (in terms of caring for Miri). 
It almost feels like Kazuki is being to Rei what Yuzuko was for him, like taking on that same kind of role, though maybe not with the same kind of dynamic, more so just being the helping hand needed when in a bad place. 
That’s lovely in a way, but it does keep Kazuki in a sort of perpetual “giving” position in the relationship that he has with Rei. Since Rei grew up without love, we haven’t really seen him reaching out for it. Not in the same way it seems Yuzuko may have done with Kazuki or in the way that Kazuki seems to instinctually do with Miri or in the way Kazuki has done with Rei now. The gasp at realizing Miri was sick, then the confused stare for a moment, and finally the soft stare when he realized Rei stepped up and everything was fine.. That’s us seeing him making an emotional connection with the both of them at that moment, even if they were both asleep.
Something clicked there and we can see that a proper shift has happened, and that while Kazuki has always been more of an animated personality type than Rei, there is something much more true and genuine about this smile than the ones he has given in the past:
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I think it’s because Kazuki has finally found himself and the obvious weight that he was carrying around has lifted. I feel like Kazuki maybe doesn’t feel like he needs to be found anymore and needs to reach out to Rei and Miri like he was doing in the past - to survive and deal with his trauma, but now he just wants to be with them and reach out to them and connect with them (we can see this through him saying he’ll teach them what good French toast actually is).
With Rei, we see that he has literally reached out to Miri in this episode:
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And he is reaching out to Kazuki too. Usually Rei just goes with Kazuki’s flow, but he doesn’t actively seek anything out from Kazuki. At the end of this week’s episode though, he is actively seeking some kind of approval from Kazuki in regards to his French toast.
Kazuki may no longer need to be found or reached out to, but I hope we see Rei still try and do that, not so he can continue to take, but so that he can start to give back.
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multifandom-02 · 4 months
Text
230702 - Encouragement
Masterlist
Summary: Boyoung is approached by a sunbaenim in SM who encourages her to keep going even though the world is against her.
TW: Mentions of poisoning
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“Hey, how are you doing?”
“Hm? Oh, I’m doing okay, sunbaenim,” Boyoung smiled shyly at TVXQ’s Yunho as he sat beside her in the practice room, bowing to him politely in greeting. “What brings you in here? Aren’t you busy with schedules or something?”
“Nah, I’m not too busy,” he grinned, looking around the busy practice room. It was full of staff as they were preparing for the next concerts for the SM artists. Boyoung was in the mood to be surrounded by people at the moment rather than be alone in the dorms - this, her sunbaenim could see as he had noticed her alone in the room when he was passing by. “What are you doing here?”
“Chilling…and waiting for a meeting…”
“Where are your members?”
“Dreamies are overseas now,” she listed blandly, watching everyone move around and work, not noticing the two idols in the middle of their chaos, “WayV are overseas also, and currently 127 are doing a schedule.”
“Ah, and you’re alone,” he hummed.
“Yeah,” she sighed heavily shoulders slumping, “I can’t really go out at the moment, since you know…”
“Yeah…” the older man winced at the mention of the recent article scandals. “Are you really okay? Because this is a huge thing that has happened to you.”
“I’m used to it,” she shrugged small, fiddling with her hands instead of watching the busy room. “I feel like I’m just going through hardship, after hardship, after hardship, after hardship in life…”
“Yeah?” Yunho nodded in understanding. “Idol life is hard, especially when you have enough chaos in your personal life.”
“You got that right,” the two chuckled lowly at the thought of their life and the hardships they face in their personal and career life.
Boyoung couldn’t help but also laugh in disbelief that she was talking to this sunbaenim for this long. She never really communicated with TVXQ much except the very few times with the members. It was interesting to be talking to Yunho all alone. The saying of hardships bringing people together really was happening at this moment. “Do you ever want to quit?”
“Quit?” Yunho turned his head to look at her fully. Understanding was all over his face at her question and why she asked it.
“Idol life,” she clarified, peeking at him briefly before fiddling with her hands again. He saw her lightly dig her nails into the back of her left hand from nerves. “Idol life is hard, with the world watching you and judging you, and just hovering over you…so many expectations, any small mistake is magnified…don’t you just want to quit and hide from everyone? And just…run away?”
“I think all idols have thought of that at one point in their life,” Yunho admitted honestly. “There are many times I thought of leaving this career and just living a normal life away from society and their expectations…”
“And why don’t you?” she asked curiously. “What’s stopping you?”
“My passion for my job,” he answered simply. “Why did you come here in the first place? To SM?”
“Actually, I didn’t want to join at first,” she revealed sheepishly. “Jaemin convinced me to try it out.”
“He convinced you for a reason,” he nodded. “Why did he encourage you to do it?”
“Because…because I love music,” she answered hesitantly. “I love music - it’s where I run to from everything. You get lost in the music and travel to another world, your imagination, where life is easier and happier…I dream a lot when I’m with music, I feel at ease when I have music in my ears, and when I have music in my life…” she trailed off, seeming to be pulled into her thoughts as she reflected on her answer.
“That’s why most of us are here still, Boyoung-ah,” Yunho nudged his arm lightly with hers. “Yes, the world attacks us, life attacks us, but…when we have music as our motivation, our reason to keep going…then we can do anything.”
“Hm, I see…” Boyoung nodded, furrowing her brows with a small pout. “Can I be honest, sunbaenim?”
“You’ve been thinking of leaving NCT?” Yunho guessed knowingly. Boyoung leaned back in her seat startled.
“How did you -?”
“Kinda predictable, Boyoung-ah,” he ruffled her hair lightly with a small chuckle. “And I totally understand why you were thinking this.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “And you’re thinking this because you also love your members.”
“Hm?”
“Of course, you love your members!” he scoffed. “Anyone can see that you love them.”
“Wait, really?” Boyoung covered her cheeks as she started to feel embarrassed - but touched. It relieved her to know that there was someone out there who could see the love she had for the members.
“Why are you surprised?” he laughed loudly, hugging her to his side warmly. “I can see how much you love them - to the point you’re thinking of leaving the group just to protect them.”
“The people -”
“What people?” He raised an eyebrow. Boyoung cowered back at his question, knowing she was caught. “Boyoung…have you been reading posts online?”
“...maybe -”
“Didn’t your members tell you not to look online? As well as Leeteuk hyung and SHINee members?”
“How do you know -”
“I talk to them every once in a while, and your incident is the talk at the moment,” he waved off. He grabbed her hands, preventing her from digging her nails deeper into the back of her hand. “Boyoung-ah, you should never take strangers’ opinions personally. Never. They don’t know you personally like we do. Like your members do, like SHINee members, or Leeteuk hyung. We know who you are, and you are not what the public sees you as.”
“It’s hard…” her voice cracked at the end, her calm mask breaking to reveal the vulnerable side of the maknae of SM. Revealing her true emotions. “Sunbaenim…it’s hard -”
“I know, I know,” he hugged her firmly to his chest with a coo. “It’s hard, I know, but no matter what, you have us with you, okay?”
“But even Aespa -”
“They don’t know you as much as we do,” he cut her off. “They’re new, you know? We all watched you grow up, we know who you are. They didn’t. They’ll come around, don’t worry.”
“The others didn’t contact me…” she commented small into his chest.
“Others?” He was confused.
“Others…Ateez, BTS, Seventeen…”
“Ah…” Yunho tightened his hold on her. “They must have reasons for not contacting since they’re from different companies.”
“Ah…” He could tell that eased her mind as she relaxed further into his chest.
“But don’t give up just yet, okay?” he encouraged, releasing her to pat her shoulders. “I can really see that they’re working hard on your case, they’re close to figuring things out.”
“I feel bad…”
“Don’t feel bad,” he shook his head. “We all care for you and want the best for you. That’s why we’re doing it. Wouldn’t you do the same for them?”
“...true…”
"I thought by now you would see how many people care about you and love you," he mused with a raise of his brow.
"I'm...I'm trying to get used to it and accept it..." She bowed her head sheepishly.
"Try to open up to your members more," he wrapped his arm around her shoulders again. "I mean, you're doing an amazing job already - you're much brighter and happier compared to previous years. But...just a little bit more, okay? I know they want to help you just as much as you would want to help them. Let's meet them halfway, yeah?"
"...okay," she nodded after taking a deep breath in through her mouth. "I'll...I'll try..."
“Boyoung-ssi~” a staff member came to them, interrupting their moment. “We have spare drinks from our break, do you want one?”
“Ooh, thank you!” Boyoung accepted the peach iced tea from the staff while Yunho politely rejected the offer to him. “I haven’t eaten anything today…”
“Eh? Why not?” Yunho frowned.
“I didn’t feel hungry,” she shrugged, gulping the beverage.
“Well you can’t just drink that,” he scowled, standing up. “Come on, I’ll treat you out to some food.”
“Ah, I have a meeting first,” Boyoung stood up as well. “I was originally meeting them about resigning, but I guess I can talk to them instead about future schedules…”
“That’s the spirit!” he grinned, ruffling her hair. “Come on, I’ll walk you to the meeting room.”
“Thanks, sunbaenim,” And so, the two idols left the practice room, unaware of the chaos that was going to happen in just a few minutes once the poison in the iced tea kicked in.
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ideas-live-forever · 8 months
Note
hi!! i love your ken imagines and was wondering if you might be interested in writing something for maybeee a pining ken and an oblivious reader? 👉👈🥺 reader has totally convinced themselves that ken is just being super nice bc they've been showing him the ropes for living in the real world but he's actually just super smitten with them
Pining Ken With Oblivious Reader
hi!! thank you so much for requesting! sorry about the wait, i got a little stuck in the middle of writing this. i hope this is what you meant! if not, feel free to send another ask :)
i’m working on my other request right now, so i should be able to get it out soon. in the mean time, i’m open to other ken requests as well!
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Ever since you met, you’ve been all Ken can think about
You’ve always been so kind to him, helping him figure out the real world and everything
And he is nothing if not head over heels in love with you 
He can’t help but admire you from afar
And the care and caution he uses when interacting with you is far beyond what he uses with other people
In fact, he gets teased by your guys’ friends all the time about it
As much as he wants to tell you, he just can’t find the courage to do it straight out
You two are just friends
What if it’s too much too fast? Or you don’t love him back? Or you never even liked him in the first place and were just putting up with him because you’re just that good of a person?
You love him too, obviously 
But you don’t seem to pick up on any of the hints he drops, no matter how blatant they are
It started about a month ago, when Ken decided to start being more obvious with his affection for you
His hints were pretty tame at first: an extra compliment here, a few more texts here
“You’re looking extra nice today, did you do something new with your hair?”
‘Goodnight! Have the sweetest of dreams :)’
You were flattered, sure, but in your head he was just being nice in return
He kept that pace up for a while until he couldn’t deal with it anymore
This was going agonizingly slow
So, recently, he’s been more obvious about it
He’ll bring you gifts all the time, hoping they’re meaningful enough to get his point across
It gets to the lost where you have to be more assertive with how many presents he gives you a week
“Ken, you really need to stop buying me so many things.” You scold him, though your tone is undermined by the warmth of your gaze as you look at what must be the 3rd gift box you’ve gotten in 5 days. 
“Why?” He asks, a dejected kind of look falling over his face. “Do you not like them?”
His expression and cautious words catch your attention and you let out a little smile. He’s really just the sweetest guy. ‘If only he liked me..’
“No, of course I do!” You reply, setting the present down and placing one of your (shaky) hands on his. “I’m just worried that you’re spending too much money on me.”
Miraculously, you don’t notice the way the blush rises to his cheeks or his eyes widen at your touch. Ken takes a deep breath to steady himself before stumbling through his next words.
“That’s like, impossible. You’re worth more than all my money.” He says, cringing as soon as it leaves his mouth.
A part of you, a small and repressed part of you, swoons at his statement. However, the reason i’m your mind decides that this is just another example of Ken being Ken.
You don’t see the little frown that falls back over his face when you don’t seem to get the hint.
Ken, driven by newfound motivation, starts jumping at any opportunity to hint how smitten he is with you
He’ll remember the smallest things you say and bring them up later
“The aquarium?” You inquire, looking at the building you two had just arrived at. 
Ken smiles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. He thinks for a moment, debating whether or not to tell the truth. He decides to be totally blunt.
“Yeah. I, uh-“ He clears his throat. “You told me about that time when you were like 6 when your birthday at the aquarium got cancelled and you never really got to go back. So I just figured it could be fun or something-“
“You remembered that?” You ask again, in slight disbelief.
Ken’s a really sentimental person, you know that. But he remembers that dumb story? You must’ve told him that months ago. A blush creeps onto your cheeks.
“Of course.” He shrugs.
Obviously, you end up having a great time at the aquarium (although he got scared in the shark tunnel and you had to hold his hand)
Your one-on-one hangouts evolve from casual outings to fancy restaurants quickly
The line between hanging out and going on a date is so blurred that neither of you are quite sure which it is
Not that you’re going to bring it up
One day you go out for a walk after dinner and end up sitting on a park bench, just talking
Ken looks over at you and noticed how perfect you look in the moonlight
He’s tempted to tell you how he feels right then and there
But of course it doesn’t work out like that
“Thanks for hanging out today,” You say, brushing some of your hair out of your face.
Ken smiles in acknowledgment before clearing his throat a bit. He shifts his gaze from you, to the stars, back to you again. You can practically see his brain racing.
“No problem. It’s nice to feel so wanted.” He says softly. “I really appreciate this, by the way. That you’re willing to put so much time and care into, uh, this.”
You take a deep breath. ‘He’s just being nice. Don’t look for implications that aren’t there.’ You think to yourself. But you have to respond somehow. He’s looking at you like you handed him the world. It’s really cute.
“Of course, Ken. You know I love you,” You realize what you said quickly, eyes widening. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”
Ken’s never felt so disappointed in his life
He really thought that was it
He’s pretty stiff for the rest of the evening
Like everything he says is scripted
It’s really just so that he can keep it together until he gets home to think out what to do next
As soon as he drops you off, his mind starts racing
What was that?
Was he friendzoned? Was that last part a coverup? 
Regardless, he cares about you too much to potentially hurt you in any way
Even if that means backing off a little bit
So he distances himself abbot, not knowing what else to do
You realize something is off pretty quickly and walk over to his usual spot on the beach
Sure enough, he’s sitting on the sand alone, his head cradled in his hands
You approach him slowly, sitting next to him on the ground
Ken glances up as your shadow casts over him. You sit next to him, not saying anything at first. He looks… confused. There’s a glint of relief at your presence, but also a slightly guarded look that Ken never usually carries.
“Hey,” You say softly, meeting his gaze. “You okay?”
He shifts uncomfortably, his eyes betraying that he’s weighing whatever options he has in this situation in his head. Eventually, he sighs, shifting his gaze to his hands.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” He says vaguely, fidgeting with his fingers. “Just trying to think I guess.”
“About?” You don’t want to press, but Ken’s almost never closed off like this. 
“You?” He says, blushing intensely. 
The two of you just sit there for a second, trying to process what effect that little comment had on the future of this conversation
He eventually works up the courage to tell you everything. From the very beginning.
He tells you what a great friend you are, and how he never wants to mess up what you already have
He starts rambling in his nervousness, trapped beneath your intense gaze
“I know you love me as a friend, and I obviously also love you as a friend. But I think I might also love you a little bit more than that, if I’m making any sense. But I totally get it if you don’t feel like that as well. I might be moving too fast. I’m sorry-“
You have to kiss him to shut him up (i know it’s cliche i’m sorry 😭)
He just stares at you after you part, his eyes wide as saucers, until a small grin sneaks onto his face
“So, is that like, an, uh-“
“An ‘I love you too’? Yes.”
You’ve never seen him smile to big
You two spend the rest of the day sitting on the beach and talking
About how you covered up your confession that day at the park
About how he thought he had to avoid you 
Hesitantly, he reaches for your hand
When you grab it back he smiles a little, turning away to hide the blush in his cheeks
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opossumloverr · 9 months
Text
✪ RAPHAEL HAMATO DATING HEADCANONS ✪
Summary:
Just some silly lil headcanons to start of the summa❗️🫶🏾
Warning(s):
None! all fluff up in here
A/N:
OKAY GUYS ITS SUMMER VAYCAY, IM BACK AND HAVE NOTHING TO DO FOR 75 DAYS, IM A FREE MAN, SO LET'S START IT OFF WITH MY FAVORITE BOY (Gender-neutral reader!)
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I would like to start by saying this man loves you very much and would drop almost anything for you
You need help with a school project? Big red is on his way, you don't know what shoes will match the outfit you picked, oh what a coincidence! he just so happens to have a matching pair of shoes that fits you perfectly, you just want cuddles? lock and loaded baby, come at him
I think I can speak for everyone when I say we all need a Raph in our lives
He protects you from his brother's teasing, even if it's just playing or goofing, he is NOT taking any chances.
He loves to scoop you up randomly, you'll get used to it don't worry
Very cautious when picking you up though, doesn't want his spikes to hurt you, he will feel mad guilty if he was the one who caused you even a little bit of pain, even if it wasn't attentional (please comfort the man)
Appreciates the little moments he shares with you, oh my gosh I actually have the perfect scenario, just imagine...
After a long day full of fun cahoots and mysterious adventures, you two finally decided to go home, you usually go your separate ways after a day like this one, but it was rather late at night, and New York lets the creeps roam at this time, so he offered to ride the subway train with you, even though you were a bit hesitant but agreed cause there's no way your gonna allow yourself to get mugged in the middle of the night and like I said it was late at night so the subway cart that you guys were on was empty, he did wear a Hoodie and mask, just in case, the ride was silent, no noises but the constant screeching of the train tracks, but other than that it was just comfortable silence, Raph was lost in his thoughts, thinking about how the next day will be and how it will end, will it be a good or bad day? or something in the middle; what's the meaning of life? and what happens after death? Where does your soul go to, to heaven? or is it just pitch black forever, will today be his last day-- suddenly, he felt a lightweight on his shoulder, the thoughts that were coming in like a rapid wave started to smooth down to a calm stream of water, he glanced down at your sleeping figure, apparently you thought it was a perfect time to take a quick power nap, how cute! he coos softly at you, loving how you're so comfortable and calm around him. god, he loves you so much ♡,
"I promise I will always be here when you need me, you're my everything, sweetie"
Sorry guys I just felt a little kooky at the moment
If you like to play fight he's totally down, doesn't fight too hard obviously, and lets you win all the time, what a gentleman
He'll hold doors open for you, push your seat out, and then push it back in, hell, he would even do that thing where a guy puts his coat on a puddle so the lady could walk through it even though she's fully capable of walking around it
Takes so many pics of you and him at places, and has a particular folder on his phone with pictures of you guys
When it's family game night or movie night, he always invites you, you are practically a part of the family so why not? (The others don't mind)
It's so common to find you in the lair with how much you go down there on a daily basis
Yall have to do lovely dovey things in a private area cause of his brothers (mostly Leo, his bitchass) constantly changing the mood
Likes it when you watch him workout, it motivates him so much, sometimes he uses you as a weight
Loves to give you piggyback rides for some reason
He likes pickles, LISTEN LISTEN, if you don't like pickles in your burger you'll pick them out and give it to him cause you know he loves em (THE OLIVE THEORY ♡)
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I GOT SOO MUCH MORE BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH I LOBE HIM BUT ILL KEEP IT INSIDE, FOR NOW, CAUSE ITS 5:08 AM RN 💀 sorry for being dead for 5 months, AGIAN, but imma be back on my grind now 🙏🏾 and I'll try to complete all of my 15 drafts 😓 and if you see any grammar mistakes, no you didn't.
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nyoomfruits · 6 months
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Ooooh Ellie! Love these prompts.
Maybe “do any of the clothes you’re wearing belong to you?!” For lestapstri? Maybe some Norris thrown in as well? Up to you!
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HIVE MIND HIVE MIND HIVE MIND
“Where have you been,” Pierre admonishes, when Charles rushes into the restaurant roughly twenty minutes after they’d said they’d meet up.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Charles says, letting himself fall down in the chair across from Pierre, taking off his jacket as he goes. “I was hanging out at Max and Oscar’s place, lost track of time.”
Pierre frowns. “Max and Oscar moved in together?” He asks. It’s not surprising, they’d been pretty serious lately, but he’d just assumed-
“Yeah, the lease on Oscar’s London apartment was ending, and they’ve talked about it before, about moving in together. And Max got that massive place down near the harbor just a few months ago, so it just makes sense.” Charles says, flipping through his menu. “Seriously, the place is huge. It has this really big open living room with the most beautiful piano you’ve ever seen. What Max needs a piano for I have no idea, I don’t think he even know how to play it.”
Pierre feels a headache coming on. This is not what he’d signed up for when he’d agreed to lunch with Charles. “Yeah,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I wonder why Max would buy an apartment with a piano in it.”
“Right? But he lets me play it whenever I’m over, which is nice. I’ve been trying to teach Oscar, but he’s absolutely horrid at it, so mostly he just sits on the bench next to me and watches me play,” Charles flips the page of his menu. “Are the burgers good here?”
“Burgers are fine,” Pierre says. “So when are you moving in?”
“Hm?” Charles looks up, confused. “Move in where?”
“With Max and Oscar, Charles,” Pierre says, rolling his eyes. “And the piano neither of them knows how to play.”
Charles’s mouth drops open in a surprised little ‘o’ and he flushes bright red. “No, no, no it’s not like that. We’re just. They’re just friends,” he says, a little frantically.
“But you sleep with them sometimes, right?” Pierre says, raising an eyebrow.
Charles flush darkens. “I mean, yeah, but that’s more of like, a friends with benefits thing. You know. It’s just fun to add a third sometimes. Max and Oscar are very happy together.”
“Right, sure,” Pierre says. “And how many times per week do you sleep over? How many times does Oscar cook you dinner? How many times do you and Max go for an early morning run together?”
“Pierre, stop, no, that’s just. It’s just convenient, sometimes, the sleeping over. And you know how bad of a cook I am. And it’s just nice, having a running buddy. Keeps me motivated,” Charles looks genuinely distressed now, fiddling with the corner of his menu.
“All right, other question,” Pierre says, leaning back in his seat. “Do any of the clothes you're currently wearing actually belong to you?”
Charles falters, glances down at his outfit, gets a guilty, pinched expression on his face. “Yes?” He says, hesitantly.
“Right,” Pierre says, “So you, a Ferrari fan down to your core, just own a Red Bull hoodie for funsies, and for someone who barely ever wears shorts, somehow own a pair identical to the ones Oscar’s always spotted wearing around the paddock.”
“Fuck,” Charles says, and lets his head fall down on the table. “Okay, I, yeah. Fine,” he says, when he raises his head again. “Maybe I’ve been a bit of an idiot. Maybe I fell a little bit in love with them. But that’s fine! I’ll get over it. Eventually.”
Pierre frowns. “Why would you want to get over it?”
Charles shrugs. “I mean. They’re happy together, right? The two of them.”
Pierre pinches the bridge of his nose again. “They have a piano, Charles.”
“Yeah? So? Plenty of people have piano’s,” Charles is fiddling with the corner of his menu again.
“Max is literally the most practical person I know. Do you really think he would put a full sized piano in the middle of his living room if he didn’t think someone was going to regularly use it?” Pierre asks. He loves Charles, he really does, but sometimes he really can be the most dense idiot on the planet.
“…No?” Charles says, voice a little small.
“Exactly,” Pierre says. “Now, I’m going to order us burgers, and we’re going to eat, and then you’re going back to Max and Oscar’s apartment and talk to them, yeah? And you’re not going to do that thing where you fill in what they want before they’ve even said it, you’re going to listen to them.”
Charles snorts. “Yes, dad,” he says, jokingly, but there’s a soft smile on his face, a hopeful little glint in his eyes.
Pierre nods, and waves a waitress over. At this rate, if the whole F1 thing doesn’t work out, he can always consider becoming a couples therapist.
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cheesus-doodles · 29 days
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Hello, it's been a while since I visited your blog, as the end of school and the beginning of adulthood have taken up more of my time recently. Nevertheless, I'm glad to revisit your blog and see new posts. It brings back memories of the old days when I was in the tokyo revengers fandom, spending weekends reading the manga and some fanfics on tumblr.
I don't think this question has been asked before, but I've always been curious about the personality of the author. I know there are descriptions in your posts, but I'd love to hear more about it in your own words. It seems more intriguing to me.
I'm not sure when you'll read this or what time it is, but I hope you continue to be as creative as you've been. Your posts motivated me to return to writing and develop my talent in that. ♡︎
hello again anon! welcome back to this little corner of the internet, I'm glad to you thought of here enough to return ^^ ahh the transition from school to workplace is definitely not easy, remember to be kind to yourself! super nice ask, yes I most definitely will keep writing as and when I have time, and I'm super happy to hear that my rants into the abyss have motivated you :) take care of yourself anon!
Also if I'm interpreting this correctly, I think you're asking about the personality of the reader? Do let me know if I'm wrong though, I'll be more than happy to answer any questions you have!
Masterlist
A Friend in Me: Chapters 1 | 2‎ | 3
I have done the personality of Boss from the Red Dragonflies AU here previously, so I'll talk more about the nameless reader from A Friend In Me/Going Home here!
I always imagined reader to be this rather socially awkward and emotionally sensitive individual, yet very friendly and easygoing person. Its not like you don't want to have friends - its not easy being the outcast in school, having to be the one looking in all the time and knowing that you weren't going to be picked for teams during physical education class, having to eat lunch alone. Not because the rest of your classmates and schoolmates hate you per se(before the arrival of your Toman boys and their interferrence, at least), but rather because barely anyone knows you exist.
You have never been very good at putting yourself out there despite wanting to know people and make friends, and when you do, you're always nervous and anxious. And this would lead to you believing that even the mere act of reaching out to others makes you a burden. You can't quite trust others on their word even when they were happy to make friends with you, continuing to think that they're putting on an act out of sympathy for you, and at the end of the day, you're simply troubling them.
Of course your confidence increases by leaps and bounds after meeting your Toman boys and seeing that you are actually capable of being sociable and putting yourself out there, and even after the same delinquents you called friends stripped you of your newfound confidence around your schoolmates, this doesn't deter you from attempting to find your own way in the world, much to the boys' chagrin.
In general, you would also be a pretty carefree and easygoing for the most part, happy to just be included in whatever that is going on. The reader I have in my mind when writing is always up for anything that her boys suggest, and despite your rather quiet nature, your sense of adventure hasn't been lost. Be it motorcycle rides in the middle of the night, or something more gut-sinking like watching the boys spar, you never really said no. And though you said you were okay with it, the Toman founders would try never to pick a fight in front of you - god only knows how you would react and they wouldn't want to have to deal with that.
Most definitely an easily manipulated person, you rely heavily on the emotions of the people around you to try and tell if you are being a good friend and if they liked you enough to keep you around. Which makes you susceptible to being influenced by the merest suggestion of unhappiness or anger at your actions, falling over yourself to correct yourself in a bid to stop that friend from leaving you. Even when you do eventually start to stand up for yourself - e.g. when you have someone to defend - enough pressure usually can still get you to fold like a wet paper towel, and it would be interesting to find out when you will finally draw the line.
It is pretty unfortunate that being the pushover you are is part of the reason why the yandere Toman boys like you so much (because you do whatever they want without complaint and pamper them in return for the bare minimum), so it will be a balancing game to try and prevent temper flaring; these are delinquents that you are dealing with at the end of the day, and even if they would hesitate to turn their fists directly at you, the darling of their world, everyone else around you is free real estate the moment you start misbehaving in their eyes. And boy, it'll be a matter of whether you give in first, or someone dies first.
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I need to scream about this event (Friends Like These) because I truly was just. Not expecting the impact it would have--I don't remember if I read this one in Japanese???
I've only gotten the first two stories so far but I just.
Jeanne and Mozart are of course, as adorable as ever; there's no question about that. But Jeanne dropping this line:
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"It galls me to sound so much like le Comte, but I am grateful to God that I met you."
I. [prolonged error 404 sounds]. I'm not sure there are words to convey the simultaneous endless wheezing laughter but also AWWWWWWWW energy that consumed me in milliseconds. Wildly oscillating between "LMFAO ah yes, sentimentality? Disgusting I'll drink to that (blasts Bring Me To Life)" and "BECAUSE YOU LOVE HIM DEEP DOWN AND HE LOVES YOU WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH."
I just can't get over how Jeanne says exactly one thing about liking another person and he's like, 'ew dad gave me cooties >:///// how dare he subject me to the mortifying ordeal of hope.' Jeanne I love you. Jeanne I would die for you. Middle schooler with well-meaning stepfather who begrudgingly accepts his kindness and grows for the better, but would rather perish than admit it. I never knew I needed this found family dynamic so freaking bad until I started playing this game. 11/10 I could watch this forever
More Shenanigans below the cut, + the Shakespeare and Comte Event Story:
Also a sidebar because I just can't help myself, I know I've talked about it before but: Mozart and Jeanne's friendship is so endlessly precious to me????? I love how Mozart is so NO I'M NOT NICE REEEEE (turtles) and Jeanne is like :> bestie. It's so damn cute watching Mozart squirm at being exposed for being sweet and Jeanne just truly grateful someone cares about him?????? How much Jeanne and MC dote on Mozart despite being together, how it only strengthens their friendship? Literally I'm over the moon, nobody touch me I'm tender!!! Jeanne deserves to live peacefully without being a tool of the state/bad actors!!!! Mozart deserves to be loved and happy without being defined by his musical success!!!!!
LIKE. Not to be dramatic but I could watch an entire saga of these two being friends and being adorable. Fresh serotonin every single time. Did I know Jeanne was going to share his food? Absolutely. Did I expect MC to think ahead and pack two lunches? Absolutely not. Was I delighted both times? Beyond what you can imagine!!!!!!!
I'm going to stop here at the risk of repeating myself over and over but wow. Jeanne's capacity to see to the very core of people, for better and worse, and how it lets Mozart be meaningfully seen. Mozart's recognition that Jeanne can mean well to a fault, worried that he might be taken advantage of--and how Jeanne can build trust with someone for the first time without being afraid. Can you hear me wailing and bawling
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Naturally, I acquired the Comte and Shakespeare one next. Now, I'm gonna be honest, I saw their names together and went "oh dear God. What am I walking into. Why do I hear boss music????" But I gathered my courage (more like I'm just too feral not to gather info abt Comte, but I digress) and experienced something that left me literally on the floor because I just. Did Not Remotely Expect This Series of Events.
So like. It starts off by being pretty normal and cute and I'm like awwww baby boy (oh he's a little fked up actually) giving gifts to dad. I'm sensing an ulterior motive but right now just let me have this. Also adorable that Comte is struck dumb by it, that's really cute I'm taking notes. And then. I was hit with the veritable ANVIL that was these next few lines:
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deep breath Okay. Where to begin.
I LOST IT at the implication that Will was like. Holding back from ending Comte's entire life with mere words. WILL????? WILL P L S??????? (lowkey wanted to hear the roast snickers) Why am I sensing a pattern that Comte loves spicy people??? Love this for me
I also started losing my shit the second MC was mentioned and you could just hear the record scratch/kill bill sirens. Comte really out here like "son say WHAT about MC." I can't get over how he's always so ready to throw down for both MC and Sebas at any moment. Anywho, naturally I come to the conclusion that Will was just trying to one-up Comte to mess with him by giving MC gifts. It was the one thing I did anticipate--and, fool that I was--thought it rendered me safe from what happens next.
DEAR READER. DEAR READER I WAS SO WRONG. I WAS SO TERRIBLY WRONG.
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BABY GIRL. BABY GIRL ON WHAT LEVEL IS THIS NORMAL BEHAVIOR. I'M LITERALLY CRYING RN?????? THE FACT THAT I CAN'T TELL IF HE'S JUST BEING SILLY GOOFY OR HE LEGITIMATELY MEANS IT OR SOME COMBINATION OF THE TWO????????
Mans out here like "I lost everything in the war (literally) let me spoil my girlboss dream gf in peace. Vlad took everything in the divorce let me have this pls." I just. The mental image of him chasing Will around the house. The potential implications of him doing this to protect them both (I love you Will but you have. Problems). The HILARIOUS AND DUBIOUS qualifier when he says "dressing up MC is nearly my entire reason for living." Comte I love you more than life itself but that does not make this any more normal. What are you doing my beloved vampire jkhlhalfdhjfg 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Also an honorable mention moment, because it was endearing:
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Just the img of him wandering around with sparkly eyes and toting home little trinkets for everyone??????? He's so cute, that's the most grandpa behavior I've ever seen. I was chortling when Will was like "sir you made me sit in that cluttered carriage followed by another carriage full of stuff all the way home IT'S TIME FOR REVENGE (affectionate)."
I also love how Comte is like "Do I have a problem? Maybe. Will that stop me? Only when the sun cataclysmically swallows the earth."
Literally half of the members of the house are like "why are you like this" and he just heeheehoos his way out of it. How does he keep getting away with it. Can you tell I love him. Dazai isn't the only clown in this house honks Comte's nose
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beebopboom · 2 months
Text
Words of a Wise Angel
(Intro, part 1, part 2, part 3)
Finally made it to the end - four post later for a character that only has around 10 minutes of screen time - and there was going to be more
Originally this was going to be how the Metatron fashioned himself the king in God's game of chess and was going to relate it to Shakespearean Kings heck we were even going to go into Monty Python and the Holy Grail - but honestly I kind of just lost the motivation……maybe in the future I'll revisit.
However I still got shit to say.
(oh my god how did this get so long - I promise I’m a little sane over here)
So let's look into his actions in the show and maybe fill in some blanks
Disclaimer: just want to say I am focusing on The Metatron (obviously), his pov, and how he twist things - not what happened between Aziraphale and Crowley in the final 15, besides like one thing - just heavy emphasis on that
The Judge
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(Of a very weird courtroom)
The trial itself seems to mirror Hell's trial in the way there is no true defense - I’m sensing a pattern
In the trial of Gabriel he is centered in the middle - at this moment neither left or right
He doesn't cut in until Gabriel starts going on about what an angel just gotta do sometimes- and brings up a reminder of what happened to the last angel of his position that started with this way of thinking - it after all is a great story for controlling and best not be repeated because then it looks bad on Heaven's part
This establishes The Metatron as a character whose main concern is the reputation of Heaven - that even though this is an action that is casting out worthy he won’t can’t do it because then it would be an upheaval.
But he frames it as a kindness, as if he was doing a favor - it's manipulative, it keeps the "Heaven is all good, here look we are doing a special favor just for you” narrative going
After Gabriel leaves he moves to the side and brings up that it is taking him a while to come back but for the most part takes a backseat to the happenings around him until they start talking about ringing the alarm bells -
He tells them they are just going to have to find him and he is amused about it. Which tells me a few things
that he doesn't want this getting out yet- fewer that know the better
he didn't actually care about what happened to Gabriel - in fact this might even be a better outcome for him in the way he just doesn't have to deal with him any more
he doesn't actually think they will find him
this might just be a great story - let’s just let it play out
Now this is all happening right before episode 1 perhaps bleeding into the time where Crowley and Shax are talking (which begs the question of how does Shax know) - so it is days before we see him again, a very eventful few days
The First move
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When he does show back up he’s in a corporation and getting coffee - second in line behind Mrs. Sandwich.
And his eye is on Crowley - he watches Crowley converse with these two humans and bring Mr. Brown back
Now the coffee shop - I lied I do have something to add
So before even ordering what is he witnessing? Maggie and Nina having a moment - where Nina accepts Maggie's offer of help and asks her to go get milk for her and we as an audience can see this is a big moment for Nina.
Now imagine what it is to a staple of Whickber St. and someone who is not hesitant to tell her opinion about Nina's relationship and just so happens to be first in line, Mrs. Sandwich. I would not be surprised at all if she made a remark to Nina - a remark The Metatron overheard, so now he has the following information
they are friendly with Crowley
something is up with their relationship
But now it's his turn to order - and Maggie is back how long did your order take Sandwich!? - and asks for his oatmilk latte with almond syrup and his whole human picking coffee over death being predictable thing - and yet this isn't the end of their conversation
The next time we see Maggie and Nina they are getting ready to head back over to the bookshop but what got them on this conversation in the first place? That's right I'm suggesting the Metatron said or did something. Nothing to overt but something that got them thinking, talking, and maybe wanting to confront a certain duo about it
But back to the Metatron - he has entered the bookshop and interrupted Michael
Now the Metatron has always been a character that uses human expressions and his funny little words. But he comes right out the gate with balderdash and piffle so lets talk about them
They mean practically the same thing and yet he repeats it twice so why? I think it has something to do with their origins
Balderdash - although it is not certain it is said to originate during Shakespearean times, around this time though would have been used to describe a mixed drink
Piffle - started to appear 1860 - 1870ish
They are also both games and when you search them together it is a british show that goes into the origins of words - so yeah just keep those dates in mind
He uses Crowley to point out who he is - the demon who has a bad history with him, another subtle reminder of what going against Heaven gets you.
Then he starts up with the praise for Aziraphale who actually says his name, and we see a shift in tone from when he is addressing Aziraphale and then ordering the Archangels back to Heaven - which here is another one of the human phrases, spit spot
Spit spot - I don't know exactly when it was created but it is most commonly recognized as something Mary Poppins said, which the books where published between 1934 - 1988 with the movie coming out in 1964
But anyway (I promise there is a point to those) the Archangels reaction to him, Uriel's specifically. They are nervous, they are stuttering, they are praising him - they are groveling in front of him as if he were a king, and it reminds me of the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz. But the Metatron has no time for them and dismisses them. (Lord I talk about this moment a lot)
Ah, just him and Aziraphale now (not really) and they need to have a chinwag
Chinwag - around the 1870s
In response to Aziraphale saying he has made his position quite clear he offers him the coffee - which we know is not something Aziraphale prefers to drink - he offers another option that Aziraphale would not normally take, foreshadowing much?
well I say offered but really it’s kinda shoved in his face.
He separates Aziraphale and Crowley - leaving Crowley behind with a glare and ominous music which really is the first blatant instance of us knowing that the something that is up - is bad
and guess who enters the bookshop - Maggie and Nina here to talk about relationships and interference - convenient timing almost like it was influenced by someone
We join back with the Metatron when he is telling Aziraphale he doesn’t have to make a decision yet and to go tell his friend the good news and then he blends back into the crowd to walk to Muriel at the coffee shop and encourages them to read books. He proceeds to stand up and look into the bookshop, watching
Now the bits of conversation we see from Aziraphale- I see this as a few possible different things
this is the actual conversation and Aziraphale is telling Crowley an edited version
this is the edited version that he is telling Crowley and something else happened
he didn’t edit it and this is actually what happened and what was told to Crowley
but all I know is we didn’t see this full conversation and it reminded me of the misunderstanding conversation between the Nuns last season - either way it's what we got to work with people
Before moving on there are a couple particular sentences I want to point out from this conversation - and I will get to these later
"It's why Gabriel came to you in the first place, I imagine. There are huge plans afoot, enormous projects, and I will need you to run them.”
"Yeah, I've been looking back over a number of your previous exploits, and I see that in quite a few of them you formed a de facto partnership with the demon, Crowley. Now, if you wanted to work with him again, that might be considered irregular, but it would certainly be within your jurisdiction to restore your friend, Crowley, to full angelic status”
The Aftermath
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Upon entering the bookshop and getting Aziraphale to say what they both already know happened out loud - he immediately chimes in with the rhetoric of “this is how Crowley always was, he chose this and his actions are his own doing - you Aziraphale are making the right choice here, you can’t change those who don’t want to, those who are damned”
congratulations Metatron you got what you wanted - pls this is sarcastic I’m still salty
Now that he has basically taken care of everything in his way of getting Aziraphale to come with him - he asks if he is ready to go (at no point yet has Aziraphale actually said yes) and asks if he needs to bring anything with him, a dig and a probe to see if there is anything else. He then just starts walking, not waiting for Aziraphale - a manipulation tactic to pull him along
and on the walk to the lift and in waiting keeps giving Aziraphale praise and then finally revealing The Second Coming as he gets in the lift which makes Aziraphale have to choose - it’s the final one and he still has to make it seem as though he actually had a choice.
But what does this all mean? What was the point of doing all this? Why does he need Aziraphale?? What’s with the word choices?
What’s with your funny words, Magic Man?
some of the dates might have rang a little familiar - Shakespeare? the 1860s? Mary Poppins? They are all around the times Aziraphale and Crowley were meeting up - well duh they’ve been meeting up since practically forever
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the Mary Poppins one you could look at two ways - the actual time period they were being released, which would have been the 1941 or 1967 dates, or the fact that Crowley inspired his Nanny look after her
Looking at past exploits indeed you were Metatron, or perhaps you were even there hmmmm…
EDIT
The Metatron just used words that are from some important times,
1601 - discussing their arrangement (them working together)
1862 - their holy water fight and then not talking to each other
1967 (or 1941) - they start working and meeting up again and the holy water disagreement is put to rest.
and then he eventually hits him with, "if you wanted to work with him again”
which interestingly enough seems to hit the insecurities that Aziraphale expressed in the coffee shop, on the head - that loss of structure and purpose.
Aziraphale and Crowley also just did some big moves on their own in the bookshop and heaven - ones they weren't working together on. “You came back” is starting to hit even harder
End Edit
But also The Metatron put emphasis on the word friend when referring to Crowley, for the most part he referred to him as “demon” until then, until he pulled his final card - such an interesting word that had such an impact on Aziraphale in 1941 - well played Metatron well played (I hate it)
Now this could have all been a coincidence - if Aziraphale hadn’t picked up on the same thing.
When he interrupts Crowley he says something along the lines, “what’s that lovely human expression, hold that thought”
Hold that thought - came into play around the 70s through 90s and gained popularity due to the rise of broadcast television, like the News. But there is one definition I want to point out as well - “Used to acknowledge that one's attention needs to be diverted from what a speaker was saying.”
or in other words, “remember all those human expressions the Metatron was saying, yeah those have meaning and so does the one I’m about to say - we are being watched don’t pay attention to my words” but well we aren’t gonna talk about it (pls I’m still coping)
The Metatron has certainly done his research - bringing up words and phrases from important times in their relationship - and The Metatron is certainly watching just like he was now
Why does he need Aziraphale?
Now if you remember back when I discussed who The Metatron was in scripture there is actually an interesting overlap between these two with Tree of Knowledge and The Tree of Life - The Beginning and The End. Aziraphale was always meant to have a special part in The Second Coming for the exact reasons The Metatron said - an angel of his talents, an angel who knows about humans - the angel that guards them
But even just ignoring all that - What literally just happened before he showed up
called for Heaven’s help in a time of trouble - the portal
discoporated a fuck ton of demons
declared War on Hell
took charge and was a mediator between Heaven and Hell
and he did this all on his own (I really doubt he counts Maggie and Nina)
Aziraphale did exactly what Heaven had planned - what Gabriel was meant to sign off on - he started back up the plan he put on pause with Crowley - he made that first move
but also the 25 Lazarii miracle - which set off alarms in Heaven - and the Halo - which also set off alarms in Heaven. That’s twice in one week. One would imagine The Metatron would take notice.
EDIT
Let's switch gears a little and talk about why The Metatron mentions Gabriel coming to Aziraphale in their little talk
Whatever other reason Gabriel may have had for going to Aziraphale, giving him something etc., it was all done under a baseline understanding.
That Aziraphale would get it, be a safe space with an understanding that they don't want everything to end for some similar reasons (their demon partners) - and Aziraphale did help him despite not knowing this exact baseline
He helped the Supreme Archangel hide from Heaven and escape punishment - who’s to say he wouldn't help other angels?
The reason The Metatron doesn't care about Gabriel and Beelzebub running off together is because they went off
Their relationship doesn't have the same level of connection to Earth and humans as Aziraphale and Crowley - they didn't want Armageddon to happen because they wanted to keep seeing each other, the Earth part was optional - a matter of circumstance as it was the easiest place to keep seeing each other. Now that they were gone and together - his reason for objecting is practically void.
That is not the same as Aziraphale and Crowley
But also it works in the Metatron favor - Beelzebub is out of Hell. The Grand Duke of Hell just up and left the same time Heaven is getting their replacement Supreme Archangel - it's now time for Hell to be in shambles.
All while The Metatron just came to snipped away the bud - that seed of safety on Earth if another Angel decided to go against Heaven’s plan.
If he gets the angel that put a stop to Armageddon- that chose the Earth over Heaven - that protected his executioner just at the hint he was on the run from Heaven. If he brought that angel back to Heaven he would not be able to be that anymore, do those things anymore - not with being closely monitored anyway. Keep your enemy close and all that.
And he pulled out all the stops to achieve this - the clothes, the words, the coffee
End Edit
But The Metatron also still needs the Bookshop for some reason - a bookshop he left in the care of an angel he just encouraged to read
So he gets the best of both worlds - The rogue angel back under his thumb and an angel that will listen to him going through the bookshop
What does this all mean? What’s the point?
Well he’s an angel in dark, an angel in reverse
When we went over the tarot cards he’s been linked to, but especially the King of Cups, he seems to represent the reverse side of them while trying to maintain the upright version- which is interesting
He’s an angel in trouble, an angel who needs a scapegoat
The Archangel Metatron is a controversial angel, his existence, his story, his position of power. He even has a story under his name where he is punished and demoted by God when someone assumes him to be another God in Heaven
The Metatron as a character that likes to be surrounded by fours, covered on all sides. And each and every one of those angels has done something to get them in trouble - meaning he has dirt.
After all every scribe needs their soldiers - however backhanded it is
and maybe he has something big he is hiding of his own - using the others faults to hide his - something concerning the Book of Life - either him not having it or at least not having all of it
But anyway he has set himself up to be protected from any fallout - he has not been seen, only heard for centuries probably. Sending angels in his place to do jobs (yes, I’m talking about the change to Gabriel being the one at the airbase - I’m giving it a reason)
Until now - until he walked into that bookshop and made himself known. He put himself in play thinking he knows the game, thinking he just brought in the perfect angel to blame things on if they all go wrong(which they will)
but really he just opened himself up to the start of his downfall. Double edged sword and all that
For the next season I imagine he is going to keep up the pleasantries, take up that backseat role, act as a guide, being subtle in his manipulations - he after all believes he got away with it - just all those things until it all comes crumbling down and he gets exposed, and at the center of it all is Aziraphale (and then Aziraphale gets offered his position which he turns down, saying no to Heaven and choosing to be with Crowley) what? I said nothing.
(I think that’d be funny and this is a comedy after all)
It’s the Punishment of an Angel, the Fall of a King
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and that’s all folks - that’s the end- for now. Hope you’ve enjoyed -I had to watch the final 15 so many times and I’m totally ok
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yandere-wishes · 2 months
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I don't think I'm neurodivergent but there is this phenomenon called maladaptive daydreaming. It's usually developed from a very young age by children who were bullied or bored, usually both. It's not classified as a mental illness but if it goes unchecked it can actually interfere with your life, so it should be managed.
One time when my parents were home I spent a good 9 hours just sitting on the couch, listening to music and swaying left right, left right, just making up scenarios. I didn't eat or go to the bathroom at all during those 9 hours. I was horrified when I saw how much had passed because it did NOT feel like it was that much.
Ana, the reason it's taken me 2 whole weeks to answer this is because you have utterly and wholly terrorized me. I relate to this so hard. 😭😭
quick question, did you have headphones on? And where you listening to new songs or your fav songs? Cause I can kinda get getting lost in a trance to new or fav songs and lose track of time dreaming of a perfect life. Still, nine hours is a LONG time. I'm surprised your parents didn't interfere. My parents see me doing anything "unproductive" for more than an hour and automatically they find something for me to do (usually some sort of chore our study topic) 😭🤣😭🤣
the thing with me is that I don't think I ever really stop daydreaming. It's never even at the back of my head either, it's always somewhere in the forefront no matter what I'm doing. Like some super normal thing will be happening and my brain just automatically goes "Okay here's a list of 10+ scenarios that could simultaneously be happening right now." You'd be surprised how many of those scenarios include fictional characters and my obvious need for real human interactions. Then before I know it I've completely lost track of what was/is happening in class.
That's also why I kinda need to associate what I'm studying with some sort of fictional media "theme" so 1) I can actually motivate myself to study and 2) even if I do black out and start daydreaming there's this little lifeline that can kinda drag me back.
I don't really think I'm neurodivergent either (although lately, I think that ADHD may be the explanation for a lot of things I do). I can't say I had the best childhood. Home life was perfectly fine, my dad was strict but my family was very loving. But I was bullied a lot in school. From elementary to middle school. I guess that's why I'm so obsessed with fictional characters. Because with them I can feel like I belong. I'm free to make up scenarios where everything is fine. Sorry, this got super sappy. 😣😆😣
On the bright side, I can now add "maladaptive daydreaming" as part of my skills in my resume 🤣🤣
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nagito-kissmaeda · 1 year
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Premonitions of Love - Komaeda x Reader
ミ☆ HAPPY VALENTINES DAY Summary: You bite your lower lip, peering up at him, “I’m tired of waiting, Komaeda.” You give him a shaky little smile, “What if I don’t find anyone, what if I die in here before I get the chance.” He swallows, and you can hear that his voice is shaking when he says, “then maybe I could-” Contains: AFAB Reader, No pronouns used, Explicit Sexual Content, Ultimate Matchmaker!Reader Word Count: 3809
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The tiles in the kitchen are cold, but the air is warm. It took a few weeks for you to get used to the endless summer heat of the island, but it at least made your frequent nightly trips more comfortable. Some evenings you go sit out by the ocean long after Monokuma’s nighttime announcement. On nights like tonight, you instead head to the dining hall and make yourself a drink. Your bare feet pad quietly as you cross the room and bend down to pull the teapot out from the lower cupboard, it is old, the sort that needs heating up on the stove and whistles when it’s done. Sitting in the lonely kitchen is better than stewing in your cabin anyway, so you don’t mind that it takes longer to boil the water. 
The small window above the sink is half open, letting an occasional cool breeze into the kitchen. Despite everything, you really like breathing in the ocean air. It dances through the short strands of hair that you haven’t been able to pull up into a bun as you hold down the gas knob on the stove and click the igniter. The burner lights up with a satisfying whoosh, and you set the teapot down on top of it. Getting to sleep has always been hard for you, overthinking and planning often keep you up until the AM and given the stresses of your current situation, you are awake at night more than ever. There is something nice about being able to go out and not need to worry about seeing anyone, you don’t dislike any of your cohort but you are introspective and often need time to yourself. Ironic considering your talent. 
The water in the teapot is only just starting to simmer, so you take some time to pull a mug and a box of tea leaves down from the cupboard. You drop one sugar cube into the mug, and then quickly add two more when you remember no one was watching. There had been a strainer in the cupboard last time you made a late-night tea, but someone has moved it. You don’t feel like filtering tea leaves through your teeth, so you kneel down to rifle through some of the lower cupboards hoping to find it. 
Times like these are always when the uselessness of your talent bothers you. Sure, Souda wouldn’t have any more luck digging through a cupboard than you, but it always makes you wonder. Wouldn’t a simple talent suit you better? Something helpful but altogether inconsequential? Like a talent that helps you find lost objects or something that makes you smarter. Anything but matchmaking. Sure, back in middle school other kids would pay you to tell them which locker to leave a love letter in, or which desk to place chocolates on. You’d even managed to convince teachers to give you higher grades with your infallible romantic advice. But now? In a killing game? You are useless, worse than garbage.
You are elbow deep in one of the cupboards when you hear the sound of a foot hitting the wooden floor of the dining hall. You freeze. Not sure if the best course of action is to climb out of the window or just stay put and hope they don’t notice you. The rapid beat of your heart is making it hard to think, no one would actually kill you, right? There hasn’t been a new motive, and you are quiet, you mostly keep to yourself. Your lungs burn as you hold your breath, and your knees start to ache from the awkward crouch you are stuck in.
“Hello? Is someone in there?” you hear a voice say, and then breathe a sigh of relief when Komaeda rounds the doorframe. He is more likely to ask you to kill him than he is to try anything himself.
“Oh!” He starts, “My apologies. Have I interrupted something?” 
You scramble to your feet and tug your shorts back down. They had ridden up something terrible while you were crouched on the floor. Komaeda is still standing on the other side of the room with one hand on the doorframe, he has also been trying to sleep if his messy hair and sweatpants are any indication. 
“No no! I was just...uh-” you cross your arms over your chest, suddenly aware of how revealing your pyjamas are, “-I couldn't sleep.”
“Ahh.” The tension in his shoulders melts and he takes a few steps towards you. He isn’t wearing shoes either. “I was also having trouble getting to sleep. I came by for a snack.”
You nod loosely, trying to swallow your shyness, “Do you...want a drink?” You ask, gesturing to the teapot on the stove.
Komaeda chuckles, “No, I already have what I need, thank you.” He tosses an apple up in the air and catches it, he must have grabbed it from the fruit bowl in the dining hall, “I was planning to go straight back to my cabin, but I heard sounds in here and thought someone might have been planning a murder! I was going to offer my assistance!”
“Oh uh…” you clear your throat, “sorry to disappoint.”
Admittedly, you have been working out appropriate matches for all of the classmates you are left on the island with, mostly to keep yourself busy. Komaeda is a hard one. For a while, you thought Sonia, her oblivious nature and penchant for the occult would have worked decently before you realised she was perfect for Tanaka. Nanami’s quiet disposition and the way she always put her friends first would have suited just fine. Togami’s leadership skills and desire to protect everyone would have been perfect if he was still alive. And Hinata, well. He was the one who was putting in the effort.
It is true that he wasn’t difficult to place due to a lack of options. The real reason was a lot less diplomatic, It is because you want him for yourself. You know it’s selfish, barbaric even. Yet still, you leave him alone and don’t meddle. Because part of you hopes that...well...
“Oh no! Please don't misunderstand, I am still very happy to be in the presence of an ultimate!” 
You lean backwards with your elbows up on the bench, “Even one as useless as me?” You say, laughing to yourself.
Komaeda blinks at you, curious, “Why would you say something like that about yourself?” You give him a coy smile, “Why would you?” “Ah.” He chuckles behind a hand, “My luck is paltry compared to a talent like yours, that’s why.” “The usefulness of a talent is circumstantial.” You say with a shrug, “Luck is going to be far more helpful in a situation like this than matchmaking is.”
The teapot starts whistling, and you can't help but wonder if Komaeda’s luck is the cause. You are sure that he wanted out of that awkward conversation as much as you did. Stepping past him, you head over to the stove and turn off the burner, Komaeda is lingering behind you. A little too close. As you pour the tea into your cup, you can feel your hands shaking, all you can think about is him looming over you. He is a good head and a half taller than you were, all he would need to do is spin you around and he’d have you pinned right on the-
“Three sugar cubes?” He asks, and you feel yourself turning pink. 
“Uh, yeah.” You say, taking the teapot over to the bin and shaking out the leftover leaves, “I like my tea sweet.” 
He laughs politely, and your breath catches in your throat. He has his hip resting against the bench, a sliver of pale skin visible where his shirt is riding up. You can tell he is tired, his eyes are sleepy and half-lidded when they meet your gaze. You want to bury your hands in his hair, you grip your mug tight to stop yourself from trying.
Komaeda tilts his head to the side, “Are you okay? You’re looking at me strangely.” 
“Huh!?” You squeak, “No! I wasn’t looking at you!”
“How shameful of me…” he mutters, crossing his arms and casting his eyes down to the floor, “implying that you would even look at trash like me.”
You bristle a little at that, heading over to the bench across from where he is standing. You place your tea down and hoist yourself up to sit on the bench, making yourself tall enough to meet his eyes without craning your head upwards, “You aren’t trash, Komaeda-san and I’m grateful for your company.”
It is weird being up high enough to see his face properly. His eyes are outlined with dark circles and spidery lashes brush his cheeks every time he blinks, his lips are a lot pinker than they looked from lower down. The gentle breeze in from the open window is dancing through his hair and the light of the moon makes it look almost shimmery. You take a sip of your tea to calm yourself.
“Thank you for trying to make me feel better, but it genuinely doesn't matter.” He says with a tired smile.
You swing your legs back and forth as you watch him. Komaeda smiles a lot, but it rarely reaches his eyes, a tight pull of his cheeks that is rendered entirely ungenuine with even the most minor of examinations. You want to see him smile properly, for his eyes to pinch in the corners and his nose to wrinkle. His cheeks would be pretty if they were flushed pink. You wish you could do that to him. “It matters to me.” You say, taking another sip of your tea, “I like seeing people happy.”
He smiles another fake smile, “Ah, that shouldn’t come as a surprise given your talent.” One of his hands stretches out toward you in a grasping claw until he thinks better of it, letting his hand drop back to his side, “What is matchmaking but helping others find ultimate happiness?” You scoff, “Love is hardly the ultimate happiness. Many people find that without a significant other.” you lower your mug to rest on your bare thighs, it’s warm, “My talent doesn’t guarantee a perfect relationship either, those take work, I’m only a little better than a quiz in a magazine.” Komaeda frowns then, his brow furrows and it’s incredibly cute, “I find that difficult to believe, someone as amazing as you debasing yourself in front of a pathetic worm like me…I don’t understand it.”
You give him a shaky half smile and set your tea down beside you on the bench, “You’re not pathetic, and I’m not amazing. Can’t we just be equals, for a little while?” 
“Why?” He asks, and you can hear the airy breathlessness in his voice.
“I want to know you better.” You reply nervously, quickly clearing your throat and recovering with, “You know, because I can’t make matches if I don’t know people very well.” Komaeda bursts into a bought of laughter that have you taken aback. He is far less intimidating in his pyjamas, but any reminder of that deadly first trial has your hair on end. 
Even if you still blush when he looks in your direction. 
“You would waste your talent on someone like me?” Another one of those smiles slashes his cheeks in half, “Who would ever accept me as their partner?” You would.
“I’m just being thorough.” You reply, “There aren’t many people on the island so I need to cover all my bases.”
“By all means, then.” He says, his smile turning syrupy, “Use me however you desire” You swallow, averting your eyes and pressing your thighs together. He must know the effect he has on you. Komaeda is many things, but he surely isn't unobservant. 
“What about yourself?” He asks, tilting his head to the side. You blink, “Sorry?” “Do you include yourself in the viable options?” He clarifies, “I can’t imagine you would include me but not yourself, and yet I haven’t noticed you involving yourself with the others all that much.”
“Ah.” You say, withering a little as you set your mug down on the bench next to you, “I don’t have a perfect match, or at least my talent doesn’t help me to find one.” His brow furrows, “Does that bother you?” You can feel tears beading in your eyes, but force a smile anyway, “I thought it didn’t, but it’s harder to stomach the older I get.” You shrug one shoulder, “I’ve consulted constellations, the positions of the sun and the moon. Hell, I even tried tarot at one point and nothing. No red string of fate, just loneliness for the rest of my life.” 
You cast your eyes down at Komaeda’s feet, too ashamed to meet his gaze, “I know it’s stupid, that plenty of people live happy and full lives without falling in love but it just feels...it feels so cruel that I’ve been put on this planet to find love for other people but I can never find it myself.”
Komaeda scoffs aloud, and you look up at him in surprise. He’s never made such a dismissive sound around you before, “Someone as amazing as you…is going to be alone forever?” He laughs, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, “I find that incredibly difficult to believe. With a talent as wonderful, as hopeful as yours. It’s nearly, no it is impossible to imagine that there is no potential for love in your life.” “But I-” He laughs again, louder this time, eyes growing wider, “Your talent makes others happy, everyone is happy just by being around you. The way you so perfectly knot lives together may be reserved for other people, but surely you can see that you are amazing enough not to need the help.” He makes a sound, half a sigh, half a moan, “You should have people falling at your feet.”
At some point during his tirade, he had come closer to you. He is almost standing between your open legs. Your hands are gripping the edge of the bench tight so he won’t notice the shaking. 
You bite your lower lip, peering up at him, “I’m tired of waiting, Komaeda.” You give him a shaky little smile, “What if I don’t find anyone, what if I die in here before I get the chance.” He stares at you appraisingly for a moment, the moonlight catching in his hair as his pale eyes dart around your face. He wets his lips, and begins speaking in a low, serious voice, “I know that I'm just a piece of trash, not even worthy to kiss the ground you walk on. But if you want someone so desperately…” He swallows, and you can hear that his voice is shaking when he says, “then maybe I could-”
“Yes.” You breathe. Your heart is racing like it is trying to burst forth from your chest. Yes, a million times yes.
Komaeda blinks a few times, like he is stunned, “what- you...you actually?”
“Komaeda.” You lick your lips, and he definitely notices, “please”
His throat bobs as he steps towards you, nestling in between your open thighs. You can feel his breath on your face, he slowly brings up a hand to cup your cheek and you can see that he is shaking. He takes one step towards you and crashes his lips into yours. One hand gripping tightly at your waist and the other tugging at your hair. His lips are soft, and he smells like cheap camomile soap, you want more.
Komaeda grunts when you instinctively wrap one of your legs around his narrow waist, desperate to tug him ever closer. His boney fingers slide up and over the length of your ribcage, between frantic messy kisses, you can hear him whimpering and moaning against your lips. You gasp aloud when he pulls your hair tight, he laughs breathlessly and whispers, “Do you like when I do that?” close enough that his lips touch yours as he speaks.
“Y-Yes…” you reply, one of your own hands sliding up the ridges of his spine and into his hair, you grab a handful at the nap of his neck and yank, “Do you like it?” He pulls far enough away from you that you can meet his eyes, wide and desperate, darting around every inch of your face like he is trying to commit you to memory, “I like it very much.” he says lowly, and you can feel the sound of it vibrating through your chest, “But what I like is of little significance.”
He sinks down to his knees and tugs you forward by your thighs, “I want to know what you like.”
You can feel your heart racing through your whole body, heaving a shaky breath and leaning back on your elbows. Komaeda’s hands are cold when they reach up and grab the waistband of your shorts, tugging them and your panties down. Your shorts fall straight to the floor, but your panties get caught dangling around your ankle, and Komaeda seems content to leave them there. 
“Relax.” He breathes, cold hands holding your legs apart as he leans in and presses an open-mouthed kiss to your inner thigh, “Let me worship you.”
Fuck. You couldn’t say no to that even if you wanted to.
Komaeda takes his time. You aren’t sure whether you appreciate that or just want him to get on with it. He plants small kisses the whole way up the inside of your thigh, from knee all the way to pelvis, and for one excruciating moment, you feel his breath ghost over your sex before he moves to the other leg and repeats the process. 
“Damn it.” You hiss under your breath, quivering for any sort of stimulation.
Komaeda pauses his ministrations for a moment, giggling under his breath, “There’s no need to rush, we have all night.” You choke, the thought of him worshipping you all night sends a bolt of arousal down between your thighs and you hide your face with a forearm so he doesn't realise you are turning red. 
He sucks a large bruise onto your inner thigh, kissing it gently to soothe the ache, and then pulling back to admire his handiwork. He moans, just from the sight of it, and immediately dives back in to do it again. You can’t help but imagine yourself lounging at the beach in a swimsuit, and somebody noticing the constellation of bruises covering your inner thighs. Knowing who it was that did it to you. 
Then you yelp, snapping back to attention at the sight of Komaeda’s eyes peering up at you from between your thighs. He gives your clit another lick, and you instinctively grab his unruly hair for leverage. He smirks at you and goes back to kissing your thigh. “Komaeda please!” You cry out, unable to stop your hips bucking towards him, desperate for attention. 
He leans his head against your thigh, his smile saccharine and syrupy. For someone who acts so subservient and weak, he sure is exuding confidence right now, “Hm? Did you need something?”
You bark a laugh, “Yes! Obviously!” He closes his eyes, and another moan rolls through him. When his eyes open again, they are half-lidded and nearly sinister, “Does this help?” He whispers, one of his long fingers gently running up the full length of your sex and completing one tight circle over your clit. 
“God, fuck, yes! More!” You cry out, head lolling backwards. 
You feel his lips press against your thigh, and Komaedas finger continues gently stroking you, just enough that you are able to feel it, but still not enough. Enough to leave you shivery and desperate for more. Every gentle touch up over your clit has your hips bucking towards him, your whole body shaking. 
Your breath hitches when you feel his finger finally slip in between your folds, finally finally touching you directly. 
Komaeda whimpers, “You’re so wet…”
You let out a keening moan when his digit presses against your entrance, teasing you with the addictive taste of true penetration, “P-Please…” 
His finger slips inside, only to the second knuckle, but it’s enough to have your toes curling. Komaeda stares down at where his finger is now pressed inside you, blinking slowly in utter awe. Then his finger curls upward, and you howl. Both hands were now buried in his hair, hips grinding up into his hand. 
“Beautiful…” he whispers, “You’re beautiful.”
You barely even hear him over the sounds of your own moans when he strokes your insides again. 
“I can’t believe you are letting me do this to you.” He breathes, and you can feel his warm breath against your wetness when he whispers, “How very lucky.”
Then his mouth is on you. 
You lose yourself completely, in the warmth, the wetness. He’s still teasing of course, only offering tantalising little licks when you really want him to suck, but you are already so desperate, so wanton, that even the little he is willing to give you has pathetic mewls jumping out from your throat. Then you feel the stretch of a second finger entering beside the first, and he slowly begins pumping them in and out of your sex, being sure to curl them upwards with every thrust. 
The tightness in your core is growing unbearable. A fluctuating, unending warmth that just feels good, but it isn't enough, it feels like it will never be enough. That Komaeda will have you drooling, grinding and whimpering over his touches until the end of time. 
“P…Please…Komaeda…Please…” you stammer, barely even able to speak as the pleasure roils under your fragile skin. 
He moans against you, and you can feel it vibrate up through your body. 
“I want…I want to cum…please” He laughs again, breathless and completely wild, “I can do that for you.” The feeling of his lips finally wrapping around your clit has you completely lost to the earth. Glass shatters behind your eyes, your heart rebounds wildly inside your ribcage, and you moan so hard that it hurts. Your talent goes crazy, you can see the stars colliding, personality matrixes with a perfect score, birth charts, star signs and a red string tied so tightly to your finger that it cuts off circulation. 
His fingers curl inside you again, and he whines and whimpers and moans as he eats you out like a man starved, your fingers bury tightly in his hair, pulling so hard that his fragile locks break off in chunks. 
And it’s Komaeda. Komaeda. Komaeda. Komaeda. Somehow it has always been Komaeda. 
He sucks hard, heaving a wheezing breath-
And you shatter.
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blood-teeth · 10 months
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05.19.23
howdy everyone! it's been a long time since i've done one of these. also this is going to be a long post, so if you're like "i'm not reading allthat but stay safe tho" im sorry in advance.
i was going to wait until the two year anniversary of TMITAWH to post this, but i've been getting more and more asks about the status of this game, why it's on lockdown, when it's coming back, etc. largely, i've been dodging these questions or answering them with a vague "oh, i'm working on it!" which is very much the truth. just, not the entirety of it.
the truth is this: the story is done.
the real truth is this:
actually, before i get into that, i wanted to mention something else. i know i've waxed poetry over and over again and maybe it's getting annoying to hear it - so i'm very sorry - but it really is important to me to mention this because it's the motivation and the life-force behind everything that i do on this blog. i wanted to say thank you. i remember typing up the intro post to TMITAWH after getting the second COVID shot, delirious, but bolstered by a fever that had rendered me brave. i've been writing this story since 2019, i had the vision, the characters, the aesthetics and the understanding and i wanted to desperately to share. i never expected the level of support and love from so many of you. i've never had people genuinely vested in my worlds or characters. i remember getting the first comment about the prologue and slamming my computer shut and freaking out. i cried when i got my first ask telling me how much they'd love it, despite the small amount of content. the fever may have given me the courage to post it, but y'all gave me the courage to continue. and that means more to me than anything means to me in this world. for two whole years!! you've dealt with my wildly out of pocket thoughts, long absences, and have continued to show your willingness to continue the exercise in patience. i dont have people in real life that would do that for me. so thank you, thank you for being here, thank you for caring, thank you for the sweet comments. i wasn't lying when i said that i keep most asks unanswered because i go back and read them, hold the words close to my chest, and convince myself that i can do what i want to do when it comes to storytelling. thank you. forever and always. i know this feels maybe so much like im baring my soul, but i think it's important. TMITAWH saved my life. I mean that in every understanding, with the breadths and depths of my soul. I mean that with all the fibers and cells and atoms that make up me. This story saved my life. it's important to me that you know that in so many ways you all did, too.
so much of the reason i've been sitting on this is honestly mostly fear. it's choking me now as i write this. i'm scared of y'alls reaction, i'm scared of potentially disappointing anyone, and i'm scared of people just being overall pissed off. which i would get! this is not why the majority of you are following me. i'm asking for grace, for understanding, for mercy.
so, the real truth is this:
Tell Me If There's A Way Home is complete. there's a beginning, of sort, a middle, an end. but, it is not complete in the way you might expect an IF to be complete.
this is, simply, because Tell Me If There's A Way Home has been re-written and re-formatted into a novel.
over this past year, i was struggling with the story. things had along the way stopped making sense. this WAS the story i wanted to tell, i knew what had to happen in order to get the whole point of it across. is it better to get back what you've lost, what does it look like when you do get it back? but there was something that wasn't working. i could force the scenes, have The Traveler spend time with Cain in his little house talking about his past, or provide the option to explore the peaks of a mountain looking for a legend of old. i could do all this. but it was all wrong. the story had become corrupted along the way and the vision of it that i held onto so desperately was fading into obscurity.
so i opened a new word document and just wrote. i wrote for a whole year, and the story unveiled itself to be in the way i believe it was always supposed to. i understand so much more of this story than i did two years ago. sitting at 90k words, book 1 is officially done. it's essentially the same story you all had read, but different somehow. more than it ever could have been in an IF format. there are the characters you love. there's cain. there's silas. alice of course. there's the traveler as *her* own character. and there's the reverie. but the reverie is no longer Ezio/Elena. it's just elena now. its beautiful, gorgeous elena with her quick smile and hemlock eyes and her memories.
what happens now?
i'll be spending the next few months making the book as perfect as i can make it. i've been working through the rough draft - or alpha draft- and then i will ask some people to see if they want to read draft 2, draft 3 , draft 4. however many drafts it takes until i feel as though i can do no more. after this, i'll query agents and pray to god that in the hellscape publishing is in right now that im offered representation. after this, i'll pray to god that an editor likes the book enough to want to work with me on it. after this, i'll pray to god that a publishing house likes the book enough to buy it, put in on shelves. there's going to be a lot of praying to god. a lot of luck. so i think it'll be a while before anybody gets to hold the book in their hands, but god i hope y'all get to. i really hope you get to. more than that. i hope you want to.
after all of this, i'll be working on book 2. i already have the title. i already have the first chapter. i know exactly what happens and how.
i know there's maybe some confusion, so please feel free to send me asks about it. i will happily and gladly answer what i can and discuss it.
i'm so so sorry for the long post. this all felt important to mention and it felt important to be transparent with y'all. this was becoming a secret too hard to keep and i'm glad that i dont have to anymore. i hope you're not mad, disappointed, etc. that would really suck ass. i hope you're excited, maybe. i hope you're curious.
anyway. thank you for getting this far, if you did. thank you. i love you. i'll talk to you soon <3
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x0x0josephinex0x0 · 5 months
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bet | min yoongi
it's missing yoongi hours so here is this lil yoongi blurb to remind you he's the cutest ever <3 warnings: yoongi being a rizzler (jk), trash talking
It's game time.
Or at least it has been.
For the past three hours.
As Yoongi posts up for another round of one-on-one ball, you shake your head. "You like to nap more than anyone I know. How have you not gotten sick of getting your butt kicked by now?"
He grins. "You had enough? I'm pretty sure I've won more than half the games."
"What?! That's outrageous." In reality, it's probably close to even, but this is part of the fun -- the trash talk. And nobody does it better than Yoongi.
"Listen, if you're too tired to keep going, you can quit," he reminds you, a devilish glint in his eyes. "People your height aren't usually very good at basketball."
You laugh. "Min Yoongi, you are short."
He smirks at you. "Weak comeback," he says. "But I was thinking."
"Yeah? About how to stop getting your ass kicked?"
"No," he says with a chuckle. "Why don't we raise the stakes?"
"A bet?" you guess. He nods. "What are we wagering?"
He smiles, runs over to his bag, and pulls out a pen. "Write something on your hand you'd want me to do, and I'll do the same. Whoever loses has to do what's on the winner's hand."
Odd, you think to yourself. But you write on your hand -- "dance with me", something you've always wanted to ask him to do -- and hand the pen back to him. "Deal," you say lightly, although the laughter on his face as he writes on his hand makes you nervous. Is he writing something super embarrassing? Last time you lost a bet to him you had to climb a tree at 3 AM and pretend to get stuck so that the nearest passerby would have to help you out. You actually did get stuck, and Yoongi has never let you hear the end of it.
"There better be nothing about a tree on your hand," you call to him as you go to pick up the ball. You can hear him laugh.
The game is one of the best ones you've played against him. You're both playing extremely well, and you think you might actually have him beat -- until he aces a 3 from almost half-court. Then, the momentum is all his. You're tied up until the game point.
"What's on your hand anyway?" you ask Yoongi, out of breath.
He smiles, brushing some sweat away with his arm. "The only way for you to find out is to lose." And then he turns around and lobs the ball over his head.
Unbelievably, it swishes in.
Your jaw drops. "You did NOT just do that," you exclaim. "That was literally one of the coolest things I've ever seen in my whole life."
He shrugs. "I'm always motivated by the reward. What's on your hand?" he asks, grabbing it before you can dodge. He reads it and then his gaze flicks up to you.
"Dance with you?" he says quizzically.
"Uh..." Suddenly, you're embarrassed -- although you're not sure why. It's just dancing, right?
He pats your hand. "Don't worry," he says, misreading your embarrassment for worry. "There's no mention of trees on here." He hold his hand up.
"What does it say?" you ask, mildly dreading the answer.
"You'll find out tonight. I'll meet you at six at the square. Wear your normal clothes," he says, already walking away.
"What?" you say. But he's already gone, waving you away.
At six you stand anxiously in the middle of the small town square. The streets are mostly empty -- it's a sleepy little place, and most of the locals are inside with their families.
Suddenly, you hear a voice calling your name behind you. For some reason, this time around, it brings a chill to your spine.
When you turn, Yoongi stands there with a single white flower -- a daisy. Your favorite. He beckons you over with his head, the hand not carrying the flower hidden behind his back.
Gripped with curiosity, you move closer. "Okay, what's that about?" you ask, gesturing to the flower.
He sighs. "Gosh, do I really need to explain everything to you?" He laughs when you look confused. "It's for you."
He hands it to you. And then, from behind his back, the music starts -- a nice slow waltz playing on the speaker he had hidden in his other hand. He sets down the speaker and offers you his arm, and suddenly you are spinning onto the dance floor escorted by Min Yoongi.
"How on earth do you know how to waltz?" you ask him.
"This is by far the easiest dance I've done in awhile," he says. "Plus, you wanted to do it, so I learned after the game."
"You learned this in like two hours?" you ask incredulously.
"I'm actually pretty good at dancing," he reminds you, pushing you under his arm for a spin.
"Okay, you're right. But the real question remains." He raises his eyebrows curiously. "What did you write on your hand?"
He smiles and stops dancing. Taking both your hands in his, he places the hand he wrote on on top of your opposite one. In his neat handwriting, you read the words:
"Kiss Min Yoongi."
You look up at him, alarmed. "Is this a joke?"
He scoffs. "Why would I joke about that?" He tugs your arms so they rest around his neck. Your faces are almost nose to nose. He smiles gently. "Is it okay, though?"
"Okay?" you choke.
"Like, do you want me to?" He looks suddenly worried. "I won't if you don't like me like that. I just thought --"
But before he can finish, you make up your mind. Standing on your tiptoes, you kiss him.
His smile when you pull away is brighter than the sun. "Out of curiosity," you say, still stuck in his embrace, "what were you planning to do if you lost?"
He laughs. "There was no way I was going to lose that one."
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heinzpilsner · 2 months
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(Writing this instead of watching a new trailer for the live action, because my timing is perfect as ever!)
...Anyway, here's a proper "smart and serious"™ remake of my "mixed signals zutara Southern Raiders" post (because my own poor choice of terminology I'm talking about you Sexual Frustration didn't sit quite well with me). Also, I realized some new things. And I'm a perfectionist of sorts! So, yep.
Let's analyze Zuko's and Katara's heated confrontation in the first half properly.
What Zuko actually said:
"Everyone else seems to trust me now! What is it with you? ... What can I do to make it up to you?"
What Katara heard:
- Zuko doesn't differenciate Katara from all the other group members -> he doesn't think much about their intimate connection in Ba Sing Se;
- He doesn't realise the implications of what his betrayal meant in the context of the said connection (i.e., he's either a callous liar who never really cared about her grief or a volatile person who can change his mind way too easily and hence can't be trusted);
- After hearing her out, he offered to make up for his betrayal, but did not apologize for his insensitivity. He still don't get it, the idiot!
(Was he hesitant to approach this topic directly with Katara being so furious, or genuinely just didn't get it? I wonder. He sounds like a person unaffected by the catacombs, but clearly doesn't act like one. Almost as if he was affected, but never realized the extent by which Katara was affected as well).
What Katara actually said to Zuko:
"Everyone trusts you? I was the first person to trust you! Back in Ba Sing Se. You betrayed me and all of us! ... You could reconquer Ba Sing Se, or you could bring my mother back!"
What she was implying:
- She was personally hurt by his betrayal ("Everyone else"?! She was (is) not just "everyone else" for him!);
- Either she's using the "bringing back the dead mother" idea only as another metaphor of impossibility of their reconciliation, or, as Zuko suspected, this also implies that her anger at him is somehow connected to the topic.
There are two possible readings of Katara's slip of the tongue though:
1) Zuko's dense hypothesis: Katara simply projects on him her hatred for the Fire Nation and Yon Rha specifically;
2) Romantic hypothesis (which recontextualizes the whole dialogue in retrospect): Zuko's and Katara's connection in Ba Sing Se was based on the shared trauma of their lost mothers. So, this (in the light of the future events) is just another hint that Katara is hurt by Zuko's insensitivity. It signals she still have feelings for him, which in some measure fuels Katara's fury. This interpretation is supported by heavy romantic framing of the scene (Katara's physical agression adds a hint of sexuality to the mix as well, implying a suppressed desire to touch. It's no more than my speculation though, but usually, when I see a "shoulder check" trop in media, it occurs between two guys in the middle of some school, not between an angry girl and a sad boy under the full moon, you know).
Now, the funny thing. Previously, the second half of the episode didn't make much sense to me after the first one, because I saw those two hypotheses as incompatible within the same narrative logic. But just now, I found a different in-universe logical explanation for such a conclusion.
You see, Zuko's dense reading implies what from the start he saw the whole "facing Yon Rha" business as an attempt to redirect Katara's hate/anger from him onto it's "right" sourse. "Better him than me" logic, I guess. (Gosh, Zuko, not so selfless!)
They go with the plan based on the Zuko's interpretation, and Katara forgives him as a result, which means his reading of the situation was the only correct one, right? Wrong!
Because for once, Zuko was lucky. He didn't really voice his reasons out loud to Katara, and she decided that his primary motivation was lying elsewhere.
Namely, that he finally understood the imortance of their connection in Ba Sing Se and wanted to show her he did sincerely care about her grief (He was also lucky it kinda was the truth. Just... not the whole truth, you know).
(Btw, acknowledging Katara's hurt feelings is the only thing that could turn Zuko's "I waited out here all night" stunt from creepy and inappropriate into more or less okay in her eyes in retrospect, so... Yep. Another evidence for this hypothesis.)
So, while Zuko saw this trip as an attempt to manage Katara's hatred (and what an awful idea it was, but that's not the point now), Katara herself saw it as a test for Zuko's sincerity (which he passed).
And, I guess, as a happy result of this little miscommunication (and despite the crying unhealthiness of the whole "facing Yon Rha" idea), Katara was finally able to forgive him, yay!
(Do not try this at home though, boys and girls. I'm serious, those kids need their therapy.)
... The only problem though is what this miscommunication wasn't exactly addressed openly in the show itself. It's kinda just here, in the middle of the whole "to kill or not to kill" mess, and I had to strain my brain really hard to come to this conclusion (but I'm not really a smart person, after all). Still, this is the only reading of events what turns the episode's narrative into something that feels logical and consistent to me, you know.
But... After such a heavy romantic framing in the beginning (I mean, "What's with her? What's with him?" questions alone are basically screaming "those two have something between them we all can't explain by most obvious reasons"), you'd expect something more substantial would happen between the characters in the end. ... I'm just saying. I know it could't happen.
Ouch.
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