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imaginespazzi · 2 months

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Part 1: Don't Be A Stranger

Masterlist - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

But if (my) world was ending, you'd come over right?

(In which UCLA anon's roman empire became this writer's roman empire and we've finally reached the beginning)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Hurt/Comfort and a little bit of Fluff

Words: 8.4 K (other parts will be shorter....maybe)

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Injuries, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 Gonna keep this as short and sweet as possible but we've finally, finally gotten to the UCLA fic. A huge shout out to UCLA anon, because this is their master idea. Couple of things, I've never been to LA or UCLA and therefore some things are out of whack. The timeline is also a little out of whack but I swear I will try to keep it as consistent as possible. In the mean time, just ignore some of the inconsistencies pretty please. As always, feel free to let me know what's bad, what's good and what else you'd like to see. I hope y'all enjoy this first part and let's get another W today!

August 2021

where are you

i literally have to be at the airport in an hour paige where are you

dude

are you on your way?

you better be driving and that’s why you’re not answering

PAIGE

i’m sorry about last night i shouldn’t have said that

but you said a lot of shit too so call it even?

this isn’t funny where are you?

i have to leave in 15 mins

are you actually not coming?

wtf????

this is actually bullshit

get over yourself bueckers

wow

fuck you

just landed

thought you might like to know

sorry my plane didn’t crash i guess

September 2021

dude enough okay

can you just call me back??

i just wanna talk

i know you're mad i get it but i miss you

November 2021

hi i’mma be in dc over christmas

nvm

idk why i’m trying again

maybe i should block you

this is kinda pathetic of me what the fuck

December 2021

i thought i saw you today but idk

couldn’t have been you cause if it was

would you really not even say hi?

i’m done trying paige

merry christmas i guess

March 2022

i misz you

lyke a wot

love uuuuu pppppp

even if ur a bwtich

pkese pick up

ignore that

people drunk text exes apparently i drunk text you

wait

i don’t need to tell you that

you already ignore it all anyways

August 2022

i heard about the acl

i’m sorry

idk if it means anything, but if you wanna talk

nvm

***

September 2022

When the doorbell rings, on a quiet Thursday afternoon during a rare moment of alone time, Paige expects it to be a lot of people. One of her parents deciding that they actually weren’t going to leave her alone. Someone else in her family showing up out of the blue to provide comfort. Maybe one of her teammates popping up to keep her entertained. She even thinks it might be some random fan who got too invested and figured out the address for her air BnB. It’s the saddest testament to how broken they are, that the idea of it being Azzi Fudd standing outside her door, never once crosses her mind. But there she is, when Paige opens the door, dressed in ripped jean shorts and a light blue tank top, the girl that had been her best friend, and maybe a little bit more.

Silence stretches between them as Azzi fidgets with her hands and Paige continues to stoically stare at her. It’s been almost a year since they’ve seen each other, even longer since they’d last shared a happy smile. And you’d have to go back to before she’d told her about her future plans, to find the last time Azzi had properly looked Paige in the eyes.

“Hi,” Azzi says finally, mustering up a small smile. Paige doesn’t know if hearing that voice, soft and subdued but still so familiar, fixes a crack or breaks her heart even further. She wills herself to be polite in response, to match Azzi’s polite greeting with a greeting of her own. But there’s clear discord between her mouth and her head, because her words are harsh and hollowed.

“What are you doing here?”

Azzi swallows, smile disappearing as she immediately digs her fingernails into her palms and Paige feels the guilt settle into her stomach. It’s like the night before all over again. If she closes her eyes, Paige can still hear her voice loudly echoing in Azzi’s childhood bedroom. She can hear the angry words that she’d hurled at her best friend, each one like a well-aimed arrow piercing the other’s girl's heart and tearing into Paige’s own soul. Some would call what she’d done self-preservation. She’d call it her biggest mistake.

“I um-,” Azzi sucks in her bottom lip, “I was in the area and thought, maybe I’d check in.”

“How did you even know where I was?” Paige hates how cold and accusatory her voice sounds. It’s a version of herself she doesn’t quite know how to deal with, one that hasn’t ever appeared for anyone other than the girl in front of her, “I know I didn’t tell you.”

Any semblance of calm is gone from Azzi’s face, as she seems to realise that she’s not going to be getting any cordiality from her old friend.

“And we’re off to a great start,” she mutters under her breath before replying to Paige’s exact question, “no you didn’t. Your dad-”

“You talked to my dad?”

“Yeah. I mean you know Drew looks up to Jon and José so much and they still talk and stuff and he came over- Drew I mean- and then your dad was there and we just got to talking and you came up and yeah. He told me and well I live here, kinda, so I thought- well I thought maybe you’d like some company?”

As Azzi’s rambling explanation comes to an end, Paige doesn’t miss the tinge of hopefulness in her voice at the last bit. The younger girl shuffles her feet, as she stares at the blonde expectantly.

“I don’t-” Paige struggles to draw in a breath as the voices in her head argue, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Her words are met with silence as Azzi stares at her blankly.

“I- you,” she blinks rapidly, clearly at a loss for what to say at the blatant rejection, “I can’t come in?”

“It’s just- I’ve had a lot of people visit you know,” Paige bullshits, suddenly feeling very exhausted, “and my family were here a couple days and my friends are coming soon and-”

“And I’m neither of those things,” Azzi says, her tone low and breathy.

“That’s not what-”

“It is,” Azzi closes her eyes for a brief second, when she opens them, the flash of hurt in them feels like a dagger through Paige’s chest, “it is like that and it is what you meant and it’s- it’s fine.”

“Az-” Paige chokes out, feeling her lungs collapse when the other girl moves to leave, “please,” and she’s not even sure she’s asking for, but it’s not this. It’s never been this.

Azzi stops and when she turns back around, there’s a determined look on her face.

“I just-” she rubs her face, composing herself before focusing her eyes on Paige, “you’re the strongest person I know. And you’re going to come back from this, better than ever. I know it. The whole world knows it. Because you’re Paige Bueckers. You’re something else. You’re the hardest worker, you’re just- you’re the best.”

“You don’t-”

“Just- just let me finish okay and then, then I’ll go or whatever but Paige, you’re all of those things you know? Strong, brave, the best fucking player- but, it’s also okay if sometimes-, if sometimes you aren’t. It’s okay because this- this is hard, I know it is. So if sometimes you’re not strong or-, or brave- or not feeling like working hard- it’s okay. And if there are moments where you- where you want to give up, that’s okay too. It doesn’t make you- it doesn’t make you any less than what you are. It just makes you human, and it’s okay you know- to be human. It’s okay if- if you hurt and it’s okay if you’re not okay. It’s- it’s okay.”

The two girls stare at each other, eyes shining with tears, as Paige let’s Azzi’s words wash over her. She’s been told a lot of platitudes about her injury, from her coaches to her teammates to her family. And she knows she has plenty of people in her corner, who root for her and who genuinely do believe she’ll have the greatest comeback ever. But the motivational speeches get draining after a while and all she’s wanted to do for the last couple of weeks is wallow. Then she felt guilty about wallowing, that little voice in her head yelling at her to be productive and work on getting back to herself because that’s what everybody expected. Paige hadn’t even realised how badly she needed someone to give her permission to not be okay, not until the only person who’d ever known that part of her, had finally said the words she so desperately needed to hear.

The thing is, when she was younger, Paige used to keep everything bottled inside. She’d always been hyper aware of her privilege and her problems had always just seemed so insignificant in front of her parents’ or her friends. So she’d kept them to herself, trapping herself in a web of her own burdens that sometimes threatened to strangle her. And then she’d met a girl at a USA basketball camp when she was 15, a girl who had gently flicked her fingers and Paige’s walls had fallen like dominoes. She hadn’t even known she was drowning, until Azzi had shown up with a lifeboat.

“I just-,” Azzi breaks Paige out of her trance by breaking the eye contact between them, “I didn’t know if anybody had said that to you yet and I just- I wanted you to hear it.”

In the span of a minute, a thousand and one phrases take birth in Paige’s mind and then die on the tip of her tongue. She opens and closes her mouth, trying to express even one of the myriad of emotions that are swirling like a tornado in her brain. But nothing comes out except a litany of incomprehensible noises. And Azzi seems to find the wrong answer in the silence, giving the blonde a timid nod.

“Take care of yourself P,” her voice catches on the familiar nickname, as she shoots Paige a sad smile, before beginning to walk away. When Azzi chose UCLA, she’d lit Paige's heart on fire. So, Paige had drowned their friendship. And while all this time Azzi has struggled to breathe, Paige has burned but god, is she so fucking tired of it.

“Fuck, Azzi wait,” Paige curses, hobbling to catch up to the brunette, who stops with a sigh but doesn’t make a move to return. Stubborn as always, Paige thinks, continuing her way over. When she does catch up, she’s not fully sure what to say and so, “I uh- I’m out of milk.”

Azzi raises her eyebrows in question, crossing her arms protectively around her chest.

“I can’t drive,” Paige explains slowly, “or walk obviously.”

Realisation dawns on Azzi’s face, “you’re asking me to drive you to the grocery store?”

“I guess,” Paige shrugs, trying to be nonchalant.

“Seems like the kind of favour someone asks of their family, or their friends,” Azzi emphasises bitterly, never one to let go of an opportunity for sarcasm.

Paige flinches, “right, I kinda deserved that one.”

She gets a raised eyebrow in response that very much says “ya think?”

“I’m trying here,” she says quietly, and Azzi’s hard demeanour softens, “I’m raising a white flag Az, calling a truce or whatever but it kinda needs to go both ways.”

“What do you think me coming here was supposed to be?” the younger girl says exasperatedly, but she’s smiling again. It’s the third one Paige has gotten out of her today, and finally, she smiles back. They look a little foolish, standing in the apartment hallway, cheshire-cat-grinning at each other like idiots, but it feels like something has clicked into place again.

“I’ll go grab my wallet, you go heat up the car.”

“It’s like 110 degrees dude.”

“Bro shut up, you know what I mean,” Paige huffs and when it makes Azzi laugh, she feels like she’s floating. It’s not as if she hasn’t been happy in a year because won’t you look at that, her world did keep turning after that one decision. But this is different. She feels airy and light, like she could jump off a cliff and fly instead of fall.

“Well hurry up, I have things to do outside of just being your chauffeur.”

“Poor passenger princess, how the roles have reversed,” Paige mocks and it earns her an ever so familiar fond eye roll and for the first time in a year, she feels free.

***

When she gets downstairs, Azzi’s leaning against her car door, a pair of sunglasses shielding her eyes. The hot California sun shines brightly against her tan skin, and Paige’s heart stutters because fuck, Azzi is golden. She looks every bit reminiscent of the girl Paige still has memorised and yet, every bit the promise of a girl Paige wants to learn by heart.

“Nice car,” Paige smirks, alerting the younger girl of her presence.

“It does the job,” Azzi says, looking up with a smile of her own, opening the passenger door for Paige to get in, “not all of us are raking in NIL deals to get the big guns, but we make do.”

“Steph Curry brand ambassador say what now?” the blonde girl teases as she slides into the car. When she looks up, Azzi’s frozen in place, “what?”

“Nothing I just-” she’s wearing sunglasses, but Paige knows Azzi's trying to avert her gaze, “I’m kinda surprised you know that.”

It’s Paige’s turn to look away, their newfound comfort giving away to that old awkwardness, “I keep up with most basketball news.”

To Azzi’s credit she doesn’t push. Instead, she makes her way into the driver seat without another sound. She’s about to connect her phone to the aux but Paige beats her to it.

“Hey,” Azzi squeals, making grabby hands, “my car, my rules, my music.”

“Nuh-uh injury privileges,” Paige gloats, sticking out her tongue.

“That’s not a thing.”

“Is too.”

“Fine, we’ll listen to your crap music.”

“I resent that,” Paige retorts, as Drake blasts through the speakers. The sound of it makes Azzi groan, and she dramatically bangs her head against the steering wheel. Paige spends the rest of the car ride singing at the top of her lungs. Azzi spends the rest of the car ride alternating between shaking her head and joining in with the singing. It’s like they’re back in 2020 all over again, back before they found themselves in the whirlwind of life, back when they were just Paige and Azzi.

***

Their trip inside the grocery store takes less time than the ride to get there, even if Paige takes her time dilly-dallying in the dairy section, pretending she’s going to get anything other than just regular milk. She’s overly conscious of the fact that their time together might be coming to an end, that this time she might actually have to deal with saying goodbye. But she’s not ready to go back to missing Azzi just yet.

“Maybe you can show me your dorm,” she says quietly, once they're both back in the car, playing with the hem of her shirt. Beside her, Azzi draws in a sharp intake of breath, clearly not having expected Paige to want that of all things. In all honesty, the idea of stepping into the world that had stolen Azzi from her is not all that appealing to Paige but she wants to hold onto this moment just a little bit longer.

“You wanna see my dorm?”

“A chance to see how the non-blue blood peasants live? I’d never pass it up.”

“Non blue blood,” Azzi scoffs, "Ever heard of John Wooden?”

“I was talking about women’s basketball but yeah I have heard of him. I won the award last year. Over you,” Paige smirks, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Not everyone’s a phenom their freshman year,” Azzi retorts fondly, unable to mask the hint of pride in her voice.

“Well we’ll see this year-” Paige stops herself, cold seeping into her lungs, as she remembers why she’s in the stupid state of California in the first place. The lighthearted mood in the car goes tumbling out the window as her words hang like a dagger in the air.

“Paige,” Azzi whispers, trying to wrap that one syllable in comfort. She reaches out to touch the blonde’s shoulder but must think better of it because her hand hovers mid-air for a second, before she pulls it back. Paige is suddenly hyper aware of the fact they haven’t touched yet. It’s a reminder of the fact that whatever progress they’ve made today, there’s still so much they haven’t even begun to unpack.

“It’s fine,” Paige’s voice is steely, “just drive.”

Azzi opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, before simply nodding and starting the ignition. She’s clearly holding back and Paige doesn’t know how to feel about it. There’s a part of her that wants Azzi to push her to talk like she would before, but there's another part of her that knows this new rope they’re trying to string between them is fragile.

They ride in silence to Azzi’s apartment, both of them too caught up in their own thoughts to bother with music this time. As the UCLA campus nears, Paige can’t help but hate it just a little bit. She’s aware she’s being petty. Acting like Storrs, Connecticut is some hub of beauty is probably a stretch of the imagination for anyone but she’s determined to dislike this place out of principle.

“Hmm not too shabby but like where’s the fucking cows?” Paige jokes, as the car comes to a stop in front of Azzi’s apartment building. She steps out gingerly, pretending to inspect her surroundings, making tsk-tsk noises at the most random things.

“I’ve seen your apartment Bueckers, don’t even try,” Azzi retorts.

It shouldn’t surprise Paige to see one of Azzi’s teammates when they enter her living room. It’s just like UConn really in the sense that there’s always someone there when you walk in but something about seeing Charisma Osborne just chilling in Azzi’s space suddenly makes it more real that the younger girl is definitely a UCLA Bruin.

“Oh,” Charisma gives Paige a once-over, clearly not having expected to see her, “hi Paige.”

Paige waves, shuffling her weight on her crutches, unsure what to say. It’s not like she doesn’t know Charisma, they’ve literally won a gold medal together for USA basketball. She’s even met the girl a couple of times after and she likes her, she does. But her bitter brain is focused on the fact that this is one of those girls who had gotten Azzi as their teammate, one of the girls who got to see Azzi everyday. All things Paige had not gotten.

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing company Az,” Charisma says pointedly, looking at Azzi and Paige bristles at the use of the nickname. She’s being all sorts of ridiculous but at least she’s self-aware of it.

“Last minute decisions,” Azzi replies airily. The two girls lock eyes and Paige can tell they’re having some sort of unspoken conversation and now the green-eyed envy monster is out in full force.

“I insisted on seeing her dorm,” she says finally, breaking into whatever staring competition the two UCLA guards are having.

“It’s not a problem,” Charisma reassures, standing up from her position on the couch, and coming over to give Paige a tentative hug, “I just didn’t know you were coming. But it’s good to see you, Paige.”

“Yeah,” Paige tries to muster up a proper smile as she leans in to return the hug but it comes out more like a grimace, “you too.”

“We’re gonna go chill in my room,” Azzi says, beckoning to one of the doors in the hallways and Paige obediently follows her, waving a half-hearted goodbye to Charisma. She’s secretly pleased to have Azzi back to herself.

The room is nothing out of the ordinary except it has Azzi all over it. She’s in the pink comforter that is thrown haphazardly over a clearly not made bed. She’s in the unicorn plushies laid delicately over a dark blue couch. She’s in the little flower stickers that outline the mirror on the far side of the room. There’s a wall dedicated solely to pictures and fairy lights on one side and Paige is immediately drawn to it. A familiar ache reverberates in her chest as her eyes flicker over the pictures of Azzi’s family. She’s missed them. Then there’s the photographs of Azzi in her UCLA uniform, her teammates surrounding her and Paige has to resist the dangerous urge to rip those off the wall. Be happy for her happiness, the logical part of her brain yells, not seeming to realise she’d left any chance of that in the dirt a year ago. As she tears her eyes away from those offending pictures, they land instead on a whole other set of photographs and she feels her heart catch in her throat.

It’s a set of three images of her and Azzi, taken at various moments. Paige brushes her thumb against the one of the two of them with their arms around each other at the Minnesota state fair. Azzi’s beaming at the camera and Paige is beaming at Azzi. They look so young, so naive, so happy.

“I’m on your wall,” Paige breathes out, turning to face her best friend, “Fuck, I’m on you wall.”

“Of course you are,” Azzi affirms, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world but she shuffles nervously, giving away the reality behind her stable demeanour.

“I never answered your texts. I didn’t call you back,” Paige lists quietly as the first tear falls from her eyes; she’s been holding them back all day, “and I’m on your fucking wall.”

Azzi looks away, unsure how to deal with the fact that apparently they’re no longer tip-toeing around the past. She doesn’t know how to tell the blonde that there had never really been a second thought about whether or not those photos were going up on the wall.

“Doesn’t matter,” she shrugs finally, “you’re my best friend. You’re always gonna be my best friend. Ride or die right?”

“Ride or die,” Paige repeats in a whisper before she all but throws herself at Azzi, practically moulding herself into the younger girl’s body. Caught off guard, Azzi stiffens for a second, before relaxing into it. It’s late outside and the sun has set, but in this moment, the world shines the brightest it has in a year as two stubborn girls finally find their way home to each other.

***

That night, Azzi asks her tentatively if she wants to stay over and of course Paige agrees. Lying awake next to a familiar stranger, she lets herself finally remember the day things had first started unravelling.

November 2020

“You’ll probably get one of the upstairs apartments, so we probably won’t actually be living together which is good because can you imagine if I had to see your goofy ass 24/7?” Paige puts a dramatic hand to her forehead, as she leads Azzi into her room.

She’s too caught up in her excitement having Azzi at UConn, and planning what’ll happen next year, to notice that the girl in question isn’t participating at all in her enthusiasm. Paige has been waiting for what feels like a year (in reality it’s only been a few months) to finally have her best friend come visit. The minute the car had pulled up, she’d taken it upon herself to start her sales pitch all over again, missing the sympathetic smiles she’d gotten from the rest of the Fudd family as she pulled Azzi away to show her the glories of the campus.

“Did you see my assist to Christyn today?” Paige gloats, falling onto her bed with a smirk.

“It was pretty great,” Azzi concedes.

“It was fucking perfect thank you very much. I set her up perfectly, exactly how she likes it.”

“Right.”

“And then did you see how excited the team was for her? For everyone? Never gonna find a greater group of girls.”

“They seem wonderful P.”

Paige furrows her eyebrows as she catches Azzi still lingering by the door instead of joining her on the bed. The brunette fidgets with the sleeve of her sweater, chewing on her lips.

“Are you allergic to my bed?” Paige waits for some smartass response. When she doesn’t get one, she frowns, instincts going haywire, “Az, you good?”

“I- '' Azzi looks away, swallowing nervously, “I need to tell you something and I- I’m not sure how you’re gonna react.”

“You get a boyfriend or a girlfriend or something in the last few months that I don’t know about?” She says it light-heartedly enough, but the thought of it sends a sharp sting through Paige’s heart. In hindsight, she thinks maybe she could have dealt with it having been that.

“What? No. Just- just don’t- dont take it personally okay. Like you can be upset about it but- but don’t hold it against me yeah? My parents- they said- they said you’d get it. You’d be upset but you’d- you’d get it because you- you get me right?”

Paige’s chest hammers as she watches the younger girl draw in a deep breath, “you’re scaring the shit out of me right now.”

“I’mcommittingtoUCLA” Azzi says all in one breath, the words blending together.

She’s sure she’s heard it wrong. There’s no way. After all this time, after all their conversations, all the pitches, how hard she had worked, there was no way this was going to be the end to all of Paige’s efforts.

“What?” she whispers, crossing her fingers that she has in fact misheard.

When Azzi averts her eyes, she knows she hasn’t, “I’m committing to UCLA.”

The first time Paige and Azzi met was somewhat awkward, what with Azzi’s shyness and Paige being slightly overeager to make a new friend. When they’d become bus buddies, they’d progressed to being casual acquaintances who could small talk and share smiles. And then the flight back to Minnesota happened and everything had changed. Every moment after was filled with conversation or laughs or a comfortable silence. Until this one, where the sudden silence between them foreshadows an ominous future.

“Say something,” Azzi says finally, her voice shaking.

Paige stares at her for a second before, “you named your dog Stewie.”

“What?”

“You named your dog Stewie. After Breanna Stewart who played at UConn. It’s not-” Paige wracks her brain, hands flying animatedly “it’s not Meyers or something, after someone who played at fucking UCLA. You named your dog after a UConn great. How are you going to take him to UCLA with you?”

Azzi stares at her, clearly not having expected that level of questioning of all things. Who could blame her when Paige herself feels a little insane.

“This is a joke right? You’re fucking with me? Ha ha ha very funny,” she claps deliriously, “hilarious prank seriously, like hats off you’ve outdone yourself but enough okay? Say sike right fucking now.”

Azzi makes a strangled noise, “it’s not a joke Paige. That’s- that’s my decision.”

“Then change it,” Paige yells, catapulting off the bed.

“Paige-”

“Have you told UCLA yet?”

“I wanted to tell my family and you first.”

“Oh wow, how kind of you. How fucking generous of you to do that Azzi,” Paige bites back sarcastically and Azzi flinches.

In a flash, Paige’s expression goes from angry to desperate, “you still have time to change your mind . Please just- just think about it again okay? You still have so much time and you know what, stay here for a couple more days. Spend time with the team, with the coaches, with me and you’ll see-. UCLA just sounds nice you know? California, the sun, I get it, of course it’s tempting. But just- just stay here okay? And you’ll see this is where you belong,” she leaves the, with me, unsaid.

“Paige,” Azzi’s voice cracks. She takes a step toward her and then pauses. It’s the first time in a long time that Azzi’s hesitated when it comes to Paige. It won’t be the last. And when she looks at Paige through her long eyelashes, tears threatening to fall from her dark brown eyes, Paige knows she’s lost.

“No,” she’s pacing now, chest heaving up and down in a combination of frustration, anger and misery, “this is not fucking happening. We’re not doing this. I made you a whole recruitment video. Did you watch it? Do you know how long it took me to make it? Has the last year been a fucking joke to you?”

“Of course not-”

“Don’t even. Because clearly- clearly it has. Must’ve been hilarious watching me beg and plead with you when you already fucking knew you were going to committ somewhere else.”

“That’s not fair,” Azzi’s voice rises at the accusation, “I had no idea where I was going until a couple of weeks ago. You can’t seriously think that low of me.”

“Not fair? You know what’s not fair, Azzi? We’ve been talking about playing together, about finally being on the same team, the same fucking state, for years. What’s not fair is you throwing all of that away on a whim.”

“I’m not committing to UCLA on a whim. This is my whole future we’re talking about. You don’t even know how much thought I’ve put into it. And I’m choosing what’s best for me. You can’t hold that against me Paige. You can’t.”

They stand on opposite sides of the room, taking in harsh staggered breaths and glaring at each other. The tension in the room is electric as the string connecting them frays. Paige and Azzi bicker, they don’t argue. Or at least, that’s how it used to be.

“Az?” their stare down is broken by a knock on the door as Katie Fudd lets herself in. Immediately, as she stares between her daughter and the girl who’d become just as important, Katie knows what has happened, “we’re going back to the air BnB, are you staying here?”

The answer should be obvious, like it used to be. Of course she would stay here. It was meant to be a no-brainer. But before Azzi can say that, Paige intervenes and the string snaps.

“She’s going with you,” the blonde says firmly, before turning her back. She won’t let Azzi see the tears, she won’t. For her part, the brunette stares at Paige’s back silently for a couple of seconds, before a mask of determination slips on.

“Fine. If that’s what you fucking want,” Azzi sneers before brushing past her mom, eager to get away and hide her own tears.

When Paige turns back around, Katie is already looking at her. The older woman walks the length of the room and pulls the younger girl into a hug that she readily melts into. Paige sniffles as Azzi’s mom soothingly rubs her back.

“We’re driving back tomorrow morning,” Katie whispers quietly into Paige’s hair, “I know you’re mad sweetheart but come say goodbye okay?”

And she does. She shows up with only half an hour or so remaining before Azzi leaves, but Paige shows up. They hug stiffly, exchanging maybe a sentence or two but in that moment it’s enough. They’ll call later when Azzi gets home and it’ll be awkward for a little bit but they’ll break through. They’ll figure out a way to go on without having to talk about the “big thing”. They’ll hold on as long as they can, until they can’t anymore.

***

September 2022

After the night Paige stays over at Azzi’s apartment, they're attached at the hip for the next few weeks, just like old times. They’ve fallen into a routine of sorts. Azzi shows up without fail every day after practice to pick Paige up from her rehab, and then the rest of the younger girl’s time is Paige’s. The first time she’d seen the brunette leaning casually against her car, Paige had had to stop herself from jumping into her arms. She’d played it as nonchalant as possible, joking about Azzi being stalker, but inside, she could feel it again, the dangerously familiar tap of this is all I’ll ever need.

On days Paige doesn’t have rehab, Azzi still shows up right on time on her doorstep with a board game or food or something. It’s gotten to the point where every time the doorbell rings, Paige opens it expecting Azzi. The couple times it’s not, she tries and fails to hide the disappointment on her face. It earns her an eye roll from the delivery guy but it’s worth it for the laugh it elicits from Azzi when she tells her the story. They fall back together as if they’d never fallen apart. And what’s more terrifying than finding out that she’d never truly gotten over old Azzi, is realising how easy it would be to fall in love with new Azzi.

When Caroline, Nika and Piath come to visit the weekend after, all three of them can immediately tell that something's changed. Their teammate seems lighter, as if she’s finally found a sense of calm. But their incessant prodding and raised eyebrows are only met with shrugs from a tight-lipped Paige. It isn’t until Azzi calls, and Nika snatches the phone out of Paige’s hands, gasping at the callerID, that they finally figure out why their point guard has a new kick in her step.

“You should invite her out with us tonight,” Caroline is the first to speak, giving Paige an encouraging smile.

“Carol,” Nika hisses, “we can’t just invite the enemy.”

“She’s not the enemy,” Paige defends immediately, “we don’t even have a rivalry with UCLA.”

Nika scoffs indignantly, “of course she is. She picked a different school over us. Over UConn! That’s weird. Who even does that?”

“Lots of people do,” Caroline, who occasionally texts Azzi (albeit she’s kept that somewhat of a secret), supplies helpfully, shrugging when the Croatian glares at her.

Piath nudges Paige when she notices the other girl has gone quiet, “ignore Nika. She doesn’t mean it, you know that. If you wanna invite her, invite her.”

And she does, she wants to so badly. It’s insane really because it hasn’t even been a full day since they’d last seen each other but Paige swears something inside her has been missing since. There’s something awfully terrifying about letting Azzi back into the UConn version of her world, the world that the younger girl had once rejected. Still, if they’re going to try this again, she supposes sooner or later, it’ll have to happen.

“Put her on speaker,” Nika orders when Paige grabs her phone back from her.

“Nika,” Caroline, younger only by age, warns, pulling the other girl away, “we’re supposed to be cheering her up, not making life harder.”

Azzi answers on the third ring, her voice teasing “miss me already?”

Yes, Paige thinks, sometimes I think I miss you even when you’re right here next to me, sometimes I think I’ll miss you forever. But she doesn’t say any of that.

“Not a chance,” she scoffs instead, “besides you called me first.”

“Butt dial.”

“Mmmhmm I’m sure.”

“Shut up,” Azzi laughs and Paige is glad her teammates aren’t here to see the goofy grin that appears on her face at the sound of it, “I just wanted to see if we were doing something tonight?”

“Yeah- umm- you remember I told you about the girls coming down this weekend. They- uh- they wanted to go out tonight and uh- you could come along?”

There’s a pause on the other end and Paige knows Azzi’s going through the same thought process as her.

“I don’t wanna intrude on your time with your team P-”

“You wouldn’t be intruding,” Paige cuts in immediately and although she figured her teammates were definitely eavesdropping, Nika cursing about her being “pussywhipped” followed by in-sync shushing from Piath and Caroline, gives them away.

On the other end of the line, Azzi’s quiet again, “it’s okay P, you go have fun with your friends. We don’t have to spend every night together. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

What she doesn’t say is that maybe they need to learn how to live like that again, how to live apart again. Paige is almost done with the LA part of her rehab, something both of them are still in denial about. It’s only a matter of time before they return back to their two separate worlds and neither of them are sure they’ve managed to repair their friendship enough to not slip back into their foolishness again.

“But I wanna see you tonight,” Paige whines, her tone teetering on the edge of sounding like a desperate girlfriend, “please.”

“Paige-”

“Pleaseeeeeee. I’m literally injured and begging Az, it’d be mean to say no.”

“What does your injury even have to do with any of this?” Azzi sighs exasperatedly, “but yeah okay fine calm down Bueckers. Send me an address, I’ll be there.”

“You don’t wanna come pregame here?”

“Dude, let's not push it, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah okay see you,” Paige pauses, “hey Az?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m really happy you’re coming tonight.”

“I’m really happy you’re happy P.”

***

Azzi Fudd is a menace. See, people often get fooled by her soft-spoken nature and shy demeanour, but Paige has been around her long enough to know the truth. In the beginning it was the witty quips the younger girl always had ready whenever they were having some ridiculous argument. After that, it was the direct pranks that wreaked havoc on Paige’s life. But tonight, in Paige’s opinion, tonight is Azzi’s worst offence. She had to have done it on purpose, had to have known the sheer effect it would have on Paige to see her dressed like that. The red criss-cross tank top fits her like a mould and the way her ripped jeans shorts cling to her hips leaves little to the imagination. Her diamond belly button piercing shines against her skin, taunting Paige. She wants to touch, she wants to feel, she wants to do all the unspeakable things in her mind but she’s forced to just watch.

What she hates most though, is that everybody else is watching too. Since Azzi’s walked into the club, Paige has had to fight the urge to strangle every stranger who had given her best friend an appraising once-over. Some of them let their eyes linger long enough to give her time to plot out the perfect murder strategy (it’s the only way she can stop herself from actually committing a crime tonight). And, as Azzi dances with Caroline, hips swaying to the beat and holding the other girl a little closely, Paige has the irrational urge to hit sweet, kind Caroline of all people.

The thing is, Azzi’s been a little too attached to Caroline since she got here in Paige’s opinion. And she gets it. Piath, bless her soul, is trying but has always been a little awkward around new people. Nika is definitely not trying, loyally holding onto a grudge on behalf of Paige. Which leaves Caroline, who’s already familiar territory and the younger girl has grasped onto her like a lifeline. But enough is enough Paige decides, as she slips out of her seat with a determined look. Smoothly, she cuts right in between Caroline and Azzi.

“Nika’s a little wasted and I don’t want to deal with,” it’s a blatant lie but Paige knows appealing to Caroline’s more motherly instincts will get her what she wants. She gets a raised eyebrow in return, her teammate clearly catching her ruse because Nika looks visibly fine. But it works anyway and Paige gets Azzi to herself. She reaches for the other girl’s hand, twirling her just so she can hear that stupid silly laugh, and then pulling her back so she’s facing Paige.

“You having fun?”

“Always have fun with you P,” Azzi replies. She’s clearly tipsy but there’s no hint of insincerity in her voice. It makes Paige’s breath hitch.

“Yeah?” she whispers, taking a step closer, “more than with Carol?”

Azzi giggles, “more than anyone.”

The song in the club changes and as the crowd adjusts to it, someone jostles Azzi and immediately Paige grabs at her hips to steady her. As she finds her balance, Azzi’s giggles subside, realising just how close she is to the blonde now. They’re stuck in slow motion as the world dances around them. The combination of adrenaline and alcohol pumping through her veins is what convinces Paige to test the limits. One hand still squeezing at Azzi’s bare waist, revelling in finally getting to touch, she brings up her thumb to trace around Azzi’s lips. The younger girl gulps, but when she doesn’t try to move away, confidence pulses through Paige. Her heart is beating frantically out of her chest, years and years of want and need that she’d shoved as far away as possible, desperately fighting to get to the surface.

Pushing herself closer, so their chests are now pressed to each other and Azzi’s hands have no choice but to latch onto her biceps, Paige places a delicate, teasing kiss to the corner of Azzi’s lips. She wishes she could record the whine it elicits and listen to it on loop for hours. Smirking, she moves to place another one on the other side, this time pressing her lips a little harder, a little longer. Azzi’s eyes are closed shut, hands gripping onto Paige so tightly, she knows there’ll be a mark on her biceps tomorrow. She cups Azzi’s face with both hands now, her own eyes shutting involuntarily, as she finally, finally brushes their lips together.

This time, the strangled noise that leaves Azzi’s throat, is one Paige wishes she could forget as the younger girl rips herself away from Paige, the force of it creating almost a foot of distance between them. It doesn’t take long for the familiar sting of rejection to make itself home in her heart. Azzi’s eyes are brimming with tears as she manically shakes her head. Without a word, she rushes through the crowd, making a beeline for the exit, leaving Paige confused and craving for another taste.

***

It takes Paige a second to gather her thoughts before following the brunette. She ignores the confused glances from her teammates, making some bullshit excuse about fresh air as she fights her way outside. When she gets there, Azzi’s leaning against the wall, eyes closed as she takes in long deep breaths.

“That’s not usually how girls react when I try to kiss them,” Paige says after a second, trying to make light of the situation, even if her heart is heavy with anxiety.

It’s the wrong thing to say because Azzi scoffs, “you kiss a lot of girls don’t you.”

“Yeah and most of them kiss me back,” Paige bites back.

She’s taken aback by the fire in the darker-skinned girl’s eyes as Azzi finally opens them, heaving herself off the wall.

“I won’t be one of your groupies Paige. I won’t be one of your desperate one night stands. I won’t be just some other hookup. I won’t!”

Frankly she’s a little offended Azzi would even think that of her. She’s aware of her reputation. In fact she’d probably fed into it a little bit, exaggerating her escapades to Azzi on the phone her freshman year, when they had been on the verge of combusing and she’d been desperate to get a rise out of the younger girl. Last year though, last year was different. But Azzi doesn’t know that.

“I don’t want you to be any of that,” she replies feebly.

“Then what, do you want me to be?” Azzi’s voice rises with each syllable.

Paige stutters, the words getting stuck in her throat. The truth is she wants Azzi to be everything. The truth is, Azzi already is everything. Except there’s too much between them and she just can’t say it. They stand in silence until Azzi finally breaks it.

“I think these last few weeks of summer might have been the best of my life,” she says miserably, “and that might be the worst thing ever you know? Because it’s not real. You’re gonna go back to your world and you’ll- you’ll stop replying to my texts and you’ll stop- you’ll stop calling me and I- I don’t know if I can do that again.”

“That’s an awful lot of assumptions you’re making about me,” Paige is on defensive mode now, feeling a fight brewing.

“Because that’s what happened. Go back through your fucking phone Paige. Look at all the times I tried. And all the times you never did. You just- you cut me out Paige.”

“That’s not fair. You chose fucking UCLA. Over me.”

“No,” Azzi corrects immediately, anger seeping into her tone, “I chose UCLA over UConn. You made it about yourself.”

Paige swallows back a bitter response in favour of trying to prevent a full-fledged argument, “okay, okay let’s not- let’s not do this okay. It’ll be better this time- I- I won’t ignore your calls or texts or you okay? Just- can we just go back inside please?”

“That’s the thing,” Azzi’s anger is gone, replaced by a sad wistful smile, “I don’t know if I believe that you will,” a single tear rolls down her cheek, “I- I don’t fully trust you and you haven’t fully forgiven me. So where do we go from here?”

It’s a lie what they say about the truth setting you free, Paige thinks as Azzi’s words squeeze at her heart, because all it’s done is unleash shackles of despair that holds them both hostage. It had been easy the last couple of weeks, to pretend the last year had never happened. It had been easy for Paige to pretend that she was over what happened, to ignore the part of her brain that still felt so utterly betrayed.

“Azzi, what are you saying? You don’t- you don’t wanna be friends?” Paige feels nauseous even saying it.

“No I-” Azzi chews at her bottom lip, “I’m saying this- us- we’re too fragile to complicate even more. I barely- fuck- Paige, I barely survived losing my best friend. I don’t think I could survive losing something more.”

The worst thing about it all, is that it makes sense. And really, Paige doesn’t know what she’d expected to happen if Azzi hadn’t pulled away when she did. They’d kiss, maybe give in and do more and then what? Shake hands and walk away? Or make false promises that would ultimately lead to resentment? No, Years and years of something deserved better than either of those masochistic endings. It makes sense, it does but it doesn’t mean Paige has to like it.

In front of her, all the fight evaporates from Azzi’s body, as the younger girl leans back against the brick wall of the club, sliding down and pulling her knees to her chest. She looks every bit as miserable as Paige feels and all the blonde wants to do is wipe away the stress lines creasing against the younger girl’s beautiful phase. She moves to sit down next to her best friend, shuffling so their shoulders are pressed together and intertwines their fingers together. A sigh of relief escapes her when Azzi doesn’t immediately pull away. Instead, she squeezes their hands tighter, as if she’s scared that if she lets go, Paige will disappear.

“You didn’t lose me you know,” Paige says softly after a second, nudging Azzi’s shoulder when the other girl lets out a noise of protest, “I know, I know it feels like you did. It felt like that to me too except- every time something good or bad happened to me, I heard your voice or- or maybe I just really wanted too. We got lost a little bit but I didn’t- I didn’t lose you and you didn’t lose me. There’s a difference. I don’t think we could ever lose each other like that. Not really.”

When Azzi turns to look at her, the golden glow of the street lights illuminate the emotions in her eyes. She gives Paige a soft smile, “well Bueckers, if basketball doesn’t work out, maybe you have a future in poetry.”

“I could do whatever I wanted,” except what I want to do the most.

It doesn’t take long for the Uber Azzi’s already called to start pulling up and that familiar ache of longing creeps into Paige’s spine. She knows tonight isn’t their final goodbye; they still have a couple more days. But those days will be spent ignoring and pretending, unlike tonight and the firm grip they have on reality. They rise off of the cold pavement together, dusting themselves off. It takes a second of awkward glances before they’re surging into each other’s arms, squeezing each other so tightly that it’s hard to breathe. Paige wills herself not to cry, hiding her face in the crook of Azzi’s neck.

“We’ll be okay,” she whispers, unsure if it’s more for her benefit or Azzi’s.

The unwanted beep of a car is the only reason they reluctantly pull away, hurriedly wiping away unshed tears, they pretend the other can’t see. Azzi musters up a brave smile, before slowly moving away and it takes everything in Paige not to crumble and begs her to stay. Azzi’s halfway to the car when she turns back and it feels like Paige can breathe again. The brunette’s face is conflicted for a second before turning determined, as she starts walking back up.

“Az-”

Paige’s confusion is stifled as Azzi fists her shirt, pulling her into a searing kiss. It’s desperate and needy and it’s only a few seconds before the dark-haired girl is pulling away again, but it sets Paige’s entire world off balance.

“I just-” Azzi’s breathing is rapid and uneven, “I’ve wanted to do that since I was fifteen and- just- fuck- I just-,” she blinks up at Paige, “I hate- I hate leaving things unfinished and for fucks sake if you don’t call me back this time Bueckers- just- don’t be a stranger.”

Paige doesn’t get time to answer, she doesn’t think she could even if she did, because Azzi scurries away almost immediately. She stops when she gets to the car, turning back to give Paige one final look, a look that will haunt Paige forever, before getting into the backseat. As Paige watches the back of Azzi’s uber gets smaller and smaller, her tongue darts across her lips as she tries to memorise the faintest taste of Azzi’s strawberry-flavoured lipstick. And she knows, she’s so utterly and completely and terribly fucked.

#pazzi #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #wcbb

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faeriekit · 5 months

Text

Health and Hybrids (XVII)👽👻💚

[I can't remember the original prompt posters for the life of me but here's a mashup between a cryptid!Danny, presumed-alien!Danny, dp x dc, and the prompt made the one body horror meat grinder fic.]

PART ONE is here PART TWOis here PART THREE is here PART FOUR is here and PART FIVE is here PART SIX is here and PART SEVEN is here PART EIGHT is here PART NINE is here PART TEN is here PART ELEVEN is here PART TWELVE is here PART THIRTEEN is here PART FOURTEEN is here PART FIFTEEN is here PART SIXTEEN is here and we're limping into part 17...

💚 Ao3 Is here for all parts (now featuring mediocre mouseover translations, only available on a computer)

Where we last left off... Two! Words! In! English!!! And a television? Hardcore!

Trigger warnings for this story: body horror | gore | post-dissection fic | dehumanization (probably) | my nonexistent attempts at following DC canon. On with the show.

💚👻👽👻💚

Danny can raise his head now.

Only a little. It still hurts his neck for a while after. But his arms and his head both rise, now. His fingers curl, now, too.

The result is that Danny can now watch and change his own television channels. No more news! Now it’s all Food Network, all the time, baby. The result is that sometimes the doctors tending to him get distracted by various pasta dishes, but also. Danny is also distracted by various pasta dishes.

And roast chicken.

And fried potatoes. Every potato ever, actually.

…It makes eating his oatmeal a more awful ordeal.

“Aw, dyrling, na þa sæd egean,” the lady says to him, spoon at his lips. Danny weakly moves his arm towards her, but only manages to hit her elbow with the heel of his thumb. “Inne cwic tima, gise? Hiere þa læce.”

Danny is pretty sure his face is a nightmare to look at at the moment, but he still makes the world’s saddest expression at the lady, because she hasn’t blasted him or hit him or even sedated him yet, and he needs something. Anything.

He’s pretty the lady makes an equally sad look under her medical mask, but Danny is hungry and he’s tired all the time and he’s sad and he wants a cheeseburger. Or fries. Or…or anything at all!

Danny’s look gets progressively sadder, and the lady gets progressively sadder to match, and then they’re both just looking at each other so very sadly until a doctor physically has to cut between them to reach for Danny’s green-speckled blankets.

Ugh. Great. Now he’s cold too. He can’t quite muster a glare, but the doctor gets an extremely stern squint from him for their “help”.

The only response Danny gets is a half-strangled laugh. That is not the response Danny needs. He needs immediate respect and a Nasty Burger number two special.

And a new blanket.

“—Eall dæg?” the doctor asks the woman, but not Danny, and then he has to listen to everyone talking about him in a weird language without even pretending to ask for his input. It’s extremely annoying, and Danny half-considers falling asleep to avoid it. His gaze slides back to the television. He’s just as capable of ignoring everyone else as they are. He bets it sucks. He hopes it sucks.

They talk for a while, but then the lady takes the oatmeal away—and hey! Danny’s eyes widen and sting from the stretch. Uh. Maybe he didn’t think this one through. He’d still thought he’d get lunch out of this.

Um. He would like to continue to receive meals. But he’s watching her walk out with his oatmeal, which is the only human food that’s ever been given to him here, and…

Danny’s stomach cramps. It’s probably just anxiety.

He wishes he’d eaten the stupid oatmeal.

The doctor stays with him, setting the blanket into a laundry bin and checking over Danny’s body (ew) (gross) (nasty) for whatever they have to check on him, and Danny tries to go intangible at least four times during the check only to get oWOUCHOW jerks inside his core. At least one time, he flickers invisible. Not much, he thinks. Probably just an arm and the chunk of his torso.

The doctor pauses. Danny waits for things to (start to hurt) get worse.

“Mæg Ic?”’

…Danny doesn’t move. It hurts to breathe. Every time air scrapes through his nose and mouth, it burns a little more.

The doctor doesn’t move.

So they just.

Wait.

“Mæg Ic?” the doctor asks again.

They move very, very slowly. They touch him, and his—skin—and they rotate him to check underneath him. If they find something of whatever it is they’re monitoring him for, he gets wiped down with something gooey and wiped clean, and sometimes he even thinks they bandage him.

Danny wishes he had a bath. A whole, real bath. Where he could wash his own hair. And wipe off whatever this goo is.

When they’re done, the lady comes back in.

The sound of the door latching shut makes Danny flinch. Is she going to punish him? She walks to his bed. With her medical mask over her face, Danny can’t see if she’s visibly mad at him or not. She doesn’t look mad though…does she?

She stands to his good side, presumably so that Danny can see her. The oatmeal is back—it looks kind of gloopy, though, like it’s been badly reheated. The lady shows something to the doctor, who makes an irritated groan, and then they start talking to each other again. She cuts off to show him something, though—

Danny blinks. She’s showing it to Danny. He…looks down at it.

It looks like a mustard packet. It’s a black packet with yellow streaks, with writing on it with those letters Danny’s never seen before coming here, and it takes his eyes a second to focus on the package before realizing that there’s a little bee and pot on one end of the packet.

Oh. It’s honey?

Oh!

…Oh!!

Danny jerks upright, and, OW, and he definitely scares the lady and the doctor who rush to settle him but there’s honey?? Flavor??? His food can taste good again??!

He wheezes— and slaps a stinging hand onto the packet. “Pl’s?” he begs. He’d stopped begging in the old labs, no one there had listened to him—and he’d stopped begging for them to be gentle, to stop hurting him, to let him go. But for food. For food that tastes, Danny might do anything. Anything. “P’lease? Ple’se? Pleese?”

“Pleece?” the woman repeats, baffled. The word doesn’t mean anything to her; she’s only repeating the sounds. But Danny can’t stop begging.

“P’lease?”

“Pleece? Pleace?”

“Please?!”

“Awrite þis,” the woman mutters, and the doctor leaves. “Bist wel. Eom hebbjan eower wist. Es wel.”

And that still means nothing to him, but the lady gently lifts him up until his back can lay on the pillows, and he can sit more than lay. Danny watches in raspy silence as she rips the packet open and dumps the contents into the oatmeal. She stirs with gloved hands, ensuring that the packet is equally distributed. And then there’s a glob on her spoon, and the spoon to his lips.

Danny takes a bite. Tears well.

“Shhh,” the woman coaxes. “Wanian ma?”

Ma sounds kind of like more. Danny opens his mouth, and is rewarded with another spoonful.

He doesn’t start crying in earnest until the bowl is gone. But that’s alright. The lady finds tissues, somewhere, and he gets to look into her human-blue eyes as she carefully dries over and around his still-soft, green-edged wounds.

It’s a very nice gesture.

Danny sobs a little harder.

#Diana: kids like sweets right? Honey? We have honey packets in the caf for the tea drinkers #Closest Doctor: I don't know if it would be too hard for him to digest at this stage—#Diana: look at him. Look at my sad child #Danny: *having several simultaneous crises*#Closest Doctor: ...Okay. I will say. That's pretty bad. Yeah he can probably digest like a teaspoon of honey; lemme go add that to his char #health and hybrids #danny phantom #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #tw gore #tw medical #tw body horror #dcu crossover #Lemme ✨sprinkle in✨newfound food insecurity trauma

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jamesmydeer · 5 months

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Would you do a first big fight type of thing for the marauders? I love angst to fluff stuff. I also love how you write them so...

thank you so much!! i’m a sucker for angst to fluff as well, so everyones happy :)) hope you enjoy <3

masterlist

james

(i’ve already written one for james x, but another one won’t hurt)

- this boy is so precious

- he would never consciously do something to hurt you

- ever

- but oh boy is he dumb sometimes

- you had made plans to study in the library

- and i know what you’re thinking, but HE was the one who organized the whole thing

- he picked the exact spot, time, and material you would be studying

- and all day he had been talking about it

- remus asked if you wanted to work on the potions essay together?

- james is sprinting to tell him no

- you don��t think much about it when he doesn’t show up to walk with you

- but 30 minutes in and there’s still no sign of james?

- suspicious

- you decide to stay, you still have work to get done after all

- 1 hour, no james

- hour and a half, no james

- at the two hour mark, you’re done with your work and you are PISSED

- because you could have gotten this done in one hour had you accepted remus’ offer

- you trudge back to your dorm and head straight to the shower to distress

- once you come back, you’re startled by a very regretful looking james potter on his broom outside your window

- you walk slowly towards the window

- and you can see the hope building up on his face

- only for you to close the blinds and walk back to your bed

“y/n! please let me explain! it’s cold!”

- you begrudgingly walk back to the window and open it for him

- in true james fashion he stumbles inside and is about to start laughing about it

- until he sees your face and he straightens up real quick

- explains that there were first years who needed extra help after practice

- and he was really trying to keep track of time!

- but before he knew it it was dark and you weren’t in the library anymore

- you tell him that’s not a good excuse

- and that he really hurt your feelings

- he hesitates for a moment, then grabs your hand and leads you to your bed

- he motions for you to sit down and kneels in front of you

- he’s so so sorry

- and he lets you know that

- apologizes while holding your hands and looking into your eyes

- he looks pitiful

- you know how much the thought of you being upset with him must be bothering him

- so you remove your hand from his to run it through his hair

- but the second he feels your hand leave his, he looks at you with the saddest eyes you have ever seen

- and it breaks your heart

“aww jamie!”

- you cup his cheeks and lean down to kiss his forehead

- he wraps his arms around your middle and hugs you tight

“i’ll make it up to you baby”

“i know you will jamie”

- he gets up and sits beside you, pulling you into his lap

- he caresses your back as he tells you all the things he’s gonna do to make up for it

“i do still need help on that paper though”

sirius

(i also already wrote one for sirius x, this one is pretty much the same but with an alternate ending :))

- sirius is flirty by nature

- blame it on his hot shit mentality

- so if there ever were any problems between you two, his flirtatious tendencies usually played a part

- one day, when you and sirius are walking through the halls, a member of his fan club walked up to you

- and completely ignored you, as they tend to do

“hey sirius, are you free this weekend?”

- you had already had a bad day, and you just knew this would set you off

- so you just tuned out the conversation, which you expected to not last more than three seconds

- because all sirius had to say was no

- but of course he couldn’t do that

- of course he had to make a show out of it

- you were tired and just wanted to get to the common room

- so you decided to shorten the conversation yourself

“he actually has a girlfriend”

“i do?”

- and he was joking

- you knew he was joking

- but it sent you over the edge

- so you pulled your hand away from his and stormed off in the opposite direction

- he would yell after you, easily catching up and stopping in front of you

- the glare you sent him was enough for him to let you walk past him

- you stayed in the dorm during dinner

- you needed a good cry, and what better time than when no one else was in the dorm

- hours later you hear the door open and you assume it’s one of your dorm mates

- then your curtains are being pulled back

- and it is a VERY disheveled looking padfoot

- he’s holding a cute little tray of food and there’s little spills all over it and a small one on his shirt

- but he tried <3

- and you can tell by his demeanor that he knows what he did was wrong

- not very good with verbal apologies

“i’m the worst”

“yeah”

“you shouldn’t forgive me”

“i shouldn’t”

- he sets down the food and plops down beside you

- rests his head on your shoulder and looks up at you with puppy dog eyes

- when you smile he knows he is in the clear to hug you

- so he pulls you into him and rests his head on top of yours

- muttering apologies and reassuring you he’s gonna do better

- he’s so good at reassuring you

- he doesn’t need to be told it’s okay

- when you snuggle into him and kiss his neck lightly, he knows he’s forgiven

“is this a bad time to mention how hot you being all jealous was?”

remus

- if you could use one word to describe remus, it would be gentle

- the boy is the definition of "gentle giant"

- so its hard to imagine him getting angry in general, much less at you

- its common knowledge that werewolves get agitated around the full moon

- however, its not common knowledge that remus is a werewolf

- so not only are you not used to him getting angry, you're clueless as to why he is

- unlike the other two, it’s not one big thing that causes the fight

- for the past few days, remus had been short with you

- you would ask him how his day was and he would say “fine” instead of going into detail about how james and sirius did xyz

- or you would ask about his book and he would look at you over the top of it and point to the blurb on the back

- he’s so sassy y’all

- but he’s not doing it on purpose!

- and he actually really likes your company during that time of the month

- needs the quality time

- sure he gets snappy with you, but you bring him a lot of comfort that no one else does

- but you do not know that

- so you assume that he is trying to tell you he wants some space

- during class you only give him a soft smile of acknowledgement instead of your usual greeting

- in the common room you don’t sit as close to him as possible

- at dinner you decline his offer to make your tea

- and it’s hurting his feelings dammit!

- the last straw is when he sees you wearing one of your own sweaters instead of his

- he walks up to you and apologizes to whoever you’re talking to, then proceeds to drag you away

- when you’re alone he lets go if your hand and crosses his arms

“what’s wrong with you?”

“what’s wrong with me?!?”

- he explains how you’ve been distant lately

- and you look at him like 🤨

- because YOU’VE been distant lately???

- isn’t he supposed to be smart?

- and you convey these thoughts to him

- and it clicks

- his shoulders sink and he pinches the bridge of his nose

- you think he’s still mad so you turn to walk away

- but he comes up behind you and hugs you to his chest

- he nudged your neck with his nose and you relax against him

“i’ll explain everything, just let me hold you for a minute”

- you swear you hear him mutter “just in case”

- you turn around in his embrace and hug him back

“you know you can talk to me about anything mus”

- and he does

- but everything has been so good up to this point

- he doesn’t know what he would do if that came to an end

- you pull away just enough to look him in the eyes

- he knows what you’re thinking

- he always does

“i’m scared you’ll think of me differently”

“i might. but it could never be a bad different”

- you kiss his cheek and he visibly relaxes

“let’s go sit down. you’re gonna have to give me a minute to figure out how to tell you this”

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ekanatsume · 10 months

Text

Keeping these here bc istg finding doksoo people is like seeing kdj not sacrificing himself

I dont really ship ship them but like the potential they have as a couple i-

If youre a doksoo person, please lemme know bc like i can n o t for the love of god find people who ship them. I just wanna cry about them like 😭🙏

[ID: Tiktok screenshots of Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint fanart of Han Sooyoung and Kim Dokja overlaid with captions about their relationship. The art featured is by more than one artist, but predominantly by BlackBox. The captions read:

1. han sooyoung once said "me, waiting for someone for decades and decades... you think such a thing is even possible? you crazy fool,"

and then we are told about her endless waiting in kaizenix arc, and how she was fighting her best to stay awake for 13 years in the epilogue, for one person, for someone she thought she never waited for, and then it was revealed that she, again, waited for 4 years for certain someone to wake up from his sleep. she diligently visited him every day during his time in the hospital, making sure he's still alive and well even though his soul has scattered away.

2. orv ebook spoiler?

during kaizenix arc kim dokja wrote a love letter to han sooyoung where he told her "write a'story that's for me andme "alone." little did he know that han sooyoung Would do anything, LITERALLY anything to write a story for him alone. why aren't you by her side when she writes a story for you?

3. kaizenix arc shows how much kim dokja means to han sooyoung. she spent 50 years, literally a lifetime, waiting for him. she hold onto the promise kdj told her, where he said he would find her as soon as possible before they got thrown to kaizenix.

she fought her hardest not to forget him. fighting for 50 years, ALONE. for 50 years, she believed kdj would save her. and she believed kdj would one day read her book to save her. and she never blamed kdj for the 50 years she spent. God. it's a pity we don't talk enough about her struggle in kaizenix.

4. This has to be one of the saddest passages in the entire novel.

I will never shut up about doksoo and their captivating interactions. and how astoundingly excellent Sing Shong's writing is: the emotions, permeated the text, and picturing that particular moment visually came with it naturally.

I was moved to tears by her assumption that it was her fault that he started crying and her quick actions to comfort him because she didn't want to keep seeing him cry

Not to mention how Kim Dokja expressed his emotions, which is as uncommon as him not sacrificing his life for KimCom.

All he wanted was some reassurance; to be told, that he's done the best he could the whole time through

Hsy mghtve comforted him for the wrong reasons, but that completed the job nevertheless.

5. when you realize kim dokja's ■■ is "epilogue" and "eternity" while han sooyoung's ■■ is "neverending story". and towards the end we find out about hsy making a promise to kdj that she will write the epilogue, a story, for kdj until the end of time, for eternity, if that's the only way she could save him…

6. how did you read orv epilogue and think han sooyoung and kim dokja are platonic bc i genuinely thought they were canon after hsy's sacrifices for 13 years, and kdj openly saying he loves her story more than anyone else.

orv theme is basically your story = you

7. the fact that kim dokja had actually fulfilled his promise to read han Sooyoung's "boring" novel that has over 3000 chapters even before they both made promise with each other.. he kept his promise for over than 13 years, without both realizing that fact until hsy regained her memories as tls123, and kdj as od.

8. han sooyoung had seen kim dokja's life at its lowest when she first saw him almost lifeless at the hospital she held his hand, feeling the warmth of the hands that had given up of his life, and she cried. and the first thing. she thought of was how to save him. in mere minutes she decided to damn the whole world for him to live and survive she would never let kim dokja to be in that state ever again, not when she is there for him.

9. the whole twsa is a love letter from han sooyoung to kim dokja. she told him to never give up (ch533), encouraged him to find companions (ch75). described so many disgusting foods as delicious so that he could eat them with ease, and not to mention the whole reason why twsa existed was for him to have a reason to live and survive for another day. she wrote all of this for 13 years, so that he could live BEFORE and AFTER apocalypse. she saved him before anyone else could do it. her love is eternal. End ID]

Thenks to @princess-of-purple-prose I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO ALT TEXT AAAAAA. Thenks for doing this ^^

#orv kdj #orv #kim dokja #han sooyoung #doksoo #orv hsy #i would die for them #literally #oh and i found these on google #tiktok basically #but like you can Google doksoo and find these #istg i cant find anything else #ive like seen all the doksoo things out there atp #: (

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b0nten · 1 year

Text

DON’T KISS ME GOODBYE

[SYNOPSIS] ˚⁀➷｡ first kiss headcanons for mikey & chifuyu

[NOTES] ˚⁀➷｡ like always, not proofread lol

MIKEY

let me start off by saying that it was 😟

utterly, unbelievably, sickeningly, eye-tearingly, stomach-turningly awkward.

like yeah, he’s a cute lil bean, but he’s just so aloof you almost never felt like it was the moment.

until one day

mikey came to pick you up from school quite a lot, and the same thing happened that same day.

you’re waiting for him in front of your school, chatting with yuzuha on your phone, and when he pulls up, you hop on his bike and he rides away.

on his way, he stops to get dorayaki amd because the sunset seems “a little prettier” that particular day, he tells you to go watch it together.

you guys just sit in silence next to each other. it’s almost setting time and you just decide you can’t take it anymore. nuh-uh. emma has been eating your brains for the longest time now and she made it VERY clear: you either make the first move or you sulk in silence like a sore loser.

“mikey, ” you cautiously call out his name, and he twists his head into your direction instantly.

“yeah?” he hums back casually, a sweet smile plastered on his handsome face.

then you just kiss him (and he does it back WOOOOOOOOOO)

when the kiss ends, however, you feel a little embarrassed so you literally get up and try to run away, but mikey grabs you by the wrist and pulls you in for another kiss, and you fall right on top of him. he doesn’t care that his dorayaki is now fuck knows where, or that he’ll probably get a lot of shit for returning home with a dirty ass uniform and emma’s gonna chew his heart, soul and mind out for it.

then, he pulls a little away and between the kiss he whispers something.

“so emma really knows how to drill something in your head and make it clear, huh?”

you smack him gently and huff and puff as your cheeks start to red up, but he just laughs.

he drives you home that night, and you invite emma for a sleepover, and he calls draken <3

CHIFUYU

COMPLETE opposite from mikey

actually makes the first step

you were sooooo lucky to have baji as a middle man in all of this. he was basically running around telling you about chifuyu, and the matsuno boy about you.

he’s such a real one for that.

moving on

“breathe in, breathe out” baji massages your back and you crack every joint in your body and do a few warm up jumps like boxers do before their match.

“yeah, i got this!”

“you got this, yeah!”

“yeah, i do!”

“let’s go, then!”

you strut into the cinema and you spot a cute blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy waving at you. his other, non-free, hand holds a tray of popcorn, nachos and two juices. you walk up to him, greet him, and he shows you the way to the movie.

“what’re we watching?” you inquire

“told you already, it’s a secret.”

lo and behold, you guys went to watch a sad movie (at baji’s recommendation, he suggested it to chifuyu the moment you told him about your weakness for this genre)

unsurprisingly, the movie is sad as shit and you cry multiple times. chifuyu offers his hand to hold and gives you tissues to wipe your tears and helps you blow your nose in silence.

such a gentleman man fuck him

at the end, unarguably the saddest part of the movie, you start to cry again, and so does chifuyu.

he takes this opportunity and guides his hand to your cheek to wipe away your tears.

and then, 😶

he kisses you

and it’s so romantic

love him

also brings you home that night <3

then baji has to manage phone calls from both of your starstruck asses at the same time

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jongbross · 7 months

Note

Exo reaction making their s/o cry??

xiumin: i think he doesn't care at first. like, when he looks at you and sees your eyes tearing up he wouldn't be that fazed. he would bother though as the tears starts to fall, the expression on your face telling him he had gone too far. his heart falters, and he sighs because he knows he screw up. minseok might not apologize right away, but he'll do it the next morning or something, just give him time to also process his feelings.

suho: this is kinda tricky. junmyeon can either react by giving you the cold shoulder and letting you cry because you also hurted him (and he might cry himself), or by pulling you to his chest as soon as the tears starts falling and apologizing straight away. i think it depends on what's the reason why he made you cry - was it something stupid he said? he will apologize in a heartbeat. was it because of an argument that you two had and he still thinks you're being unreasonable? he will let you cry, sorry.

lay: "please, stop crying" is the first thing ypu hear once your eyes get wet - not because yixing is mad at you or anything, but because he can't stand the sight of you crying. it doesn't matter the reason, if you two were fighting, even if he's right about the argument; he hates seeing you cry, and the moment he does, it's all gone for him. he even forgets what he was going to say, what his point was, whatever. can't tell which one is hurting the most, you (who are crying) or yixing (who has the saddest eyes ever as he watches your tears roll down your face).

baekhyun: he has a soft, soooft heart. baekhyun can't stand seeing people cry, it breaks him too, so it wouldn't be different with you. let's say you two had an argument, and things escalated kinda quickly; firstly, baekhyun is the one to start crying, even though he tries to hold back as much as he can. secondly, the moment you start crying as well, he shuts up and reaches for you. he uses his thumbs to caress your tears away, not saying a damn word and fighting the urge to kiss you to make you calm down.

chen: another tricky one. jongdae can be kind of a fucker and not care if you're crying IF what you said back at him hurt him too. as he doesn't cry so often, maybe you won't know that you've hurted him, but if you did... you can cry all you want, he thinks it's only fair (as you don't know the damage you did inside him). but if not, if he messed up something "small" but that it still mattered to you, jongdae will sit beside you and talk about what he can do to show you how sorry he is (and he really is).

chanyeol: actually you're the one who's making him cry, shame on you (because i honestly think chanyeol is the most sentimental one out of all the members and he tries to be careful with his words because he knows the damage they can make).

d.o: kyungsoo is very logical about things, i think. i picture him as being the type of person to let you cry as you need to put it all out of your chest, but once you're done he will approach you and hold your hand as he apologizes, probably not for what he said/done but for hurting you, and say that if he's hurting you then maybe you two should think about your relationship because "i love you and it isn't supposed to be this way. are you sure i'm good for you? am i not doing the opposite of what i should?".

kai: it will all depend on what happened, to be honest. jongin is very soft hearted, but he will stomp his feet and not give in if he believes he's right about something. if he's not, then he will try to hug you and apologize, bu he won't like if you push him away because it's eating him up the fact that he was the one who got you messed up like that. jongin will pout and say things like "please, don't do that, i'm really sorry". i don't think it's that healthy, but that's something he has to work on.

sehun: he doesn't know how to react. sehun doesn't know if he should reach for you and take you into his arms, or if he should give you some space to deal with your own feelings. some emotions can make him uncomfortable, and it's not necessarily his fault, he just doesn't know what to do. but sehun is a mature guy - more than we think, actually -, so he will find by himself the balance between respecting your space and trying to apologize, which is actually learning how to read you and your body language. if you're crying silently, then he knows you might want him to make it up for you asap; if you're crying and swearing, not at him, but at the world in general, then he knows that you're just trying to settle your emotions down and that maybe it's better if you two don't speak for the rest of the day.

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luciferstit · 1 year

Text

this scene is easily overlooked because it happens so early in the show but it is easily one of the saddest moments imo. mob won the battle but he looked so defeated doing it. the self-loathing is palpable.

it’s the first time we actually see him lose control of his emotions in the show. It was teased and built up for two and a half episodes and most of the audience was probably cheering for Mob during this whole fight scene. You wanted him to fight back, protect himself, and even hurt dimple. And then suddenly, when he has this spirit’s life trapped under two fingers, he looks MISERABLE. The emotion in his eyes is haunting. And then any joy from seeing him hurt others sputters and dies.

#mob psycho 100 #mp100 #shigeo kageyama #mob psycho

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hmshermitcraft · 6 months

Note

Etho gets so stressed so fast it's concerning.

Tango knew that Etho'd love decked out, what he didn't know is that after every run Etho has to lie down for a while because he's shaking more than a Chihuahua in the snow. After his first run tango actually pulled Etho aside to make sure he's ok, make sure the dungeon didn't cross any lines. Etho reassured him everything was fine but did ask to have this conversation sitting down.

Etho is fine, running the dungeon is exhilarating and stressful but nothing but fun, and his body copes by shaking a mile a minute for a while. Not to mention that his heart beats so fast he can feel it in his feet but that's neither here nor there.

Secret life has only just started and the poor man can't catch a break. His task is very difficult for the first one, in his opinion, and he's crafting his terrible shrine when Cleo rolls up and scares the shit out of him. He lies, she somehow believes him, tango and skizz show up, Grian calls five minutes. Good gods he's fighting for his life out here!!

It's not the heart pounding, shake your bones like maracas stress of decked out, but the quiet, "o shit" stress of "please for the love of all you deem sacred can you just give me your bed".

Cleo tags along, she keeps mentioning his task, "just give me a moment and I'll be a normal person" "don't guess please just gimme a sec"

Poor guy. It doesn't help that his stress is projected out to the world via fox ears and tail. His ears flatten and swivel and flick against his will and completely out of control, same deal with the tail, so everyone knows that Etho is stressed because he looks like the saddest little guy on the side of the road in the rain. Someone save him, someone help this poor fox, let him nap.

Being so obviously stressed so frequently has it's perks though. Any hermit will sit or lay with him until he feels better, Cleo teases him briefly before wrapping themself around him and cooing, sounds that Etho might have been offended by if they weren't so soothing. Tango holds his hands till they stop shaking, Grian reminds him that the stakes feel high in the moment but they really aren't, even Lizzie lets him chill in her Pretty Pink Bed for a while.

-s etho has been stressed out in every video for like 3 weeks

He's tired to hide his fox features under a hat or hood before, but they knocked themselves free and made the situation so much worse.

The trembling looks terrible, but the worst thing for him is the tummy aches. It's as if his body is like, "oh, you're stressed about something? Let's give you something worse to stress about!" He's not a big fan. Lying is already one of his worst skills!

Those moments where his partners and friends go out of their way to look out for him make it worth it, though. Even if it's a response he can't control, he knows they're looking out for him. If he ever needs serious help, they'll be there. It's reassuring - something his anxious self clearly needs.

#hermitshipping #trafficshipping #ask #etho tag #tango tag #grian tag #zombiecleo tag #polyhermits #s anon #mod 🎀#slsmp spoilers #sl spoilers

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writeandsurvive · 7 months

Text

Ride or die ~ Alden Parker

This was supposed to be pure fluff (which it is), but before I know it, I'm writing soft smut lol. I'm not sorry about it.

Summary: Alden wants a new plant (yet another one)

Warnings: fluff, smut, established relationship, age gap (implied), sex on the couch, p in v, dominating!Alden, romantic!Alden, teasing, gentle banter, short!Reader (I, myself, being 155cm)

Going shopping with Alden is never a good idea. The house always ends up with a new plant. It doesn't matter what you're shopping for, in the first place. Or even if you go somewhere where there's no plants to buy. He always finds a way to worn you down, giving you his saddest puppy eyes and/or most charming smile. You kinda hate him for it.

"The greenhouse is full, Den. Wait for one of them to die."

"You know the goal is to keep them alive, right? Plus, it's a plant I don't have yet."

You do love how he's passionate about plants, that's actually one of the many things that made you fall in love with him. But what you don't like is having to take care of them when he gets caught up with work. He does his best to take care of them himself, especially after the second plant you killed, but being a federal agent asks a lot, and sometimes you find yourself on plant duty.

"And you know the patio was also supposed to be for me to paint, right?" You mimicked him.

"You still got space! One tiny plant won't change that." He took his eyes off the road for a second to look at you with a soft smile. You felt his hand on his thigh, squeezing.

"You're annoying." You rolled your eyes, and saw his soft smile turning into a proud grin. He knows he's winning, not that you could forbid him to buy a new plant anyways.

You take your phone from your pocket, to look at something. Alden pulls over his favorite store to get plants, and gets ready to leave the car when you grab his arm to stop him. "You changed your mind?" He starts showing off his puppy eyes.

You show him your screen, "He's cute, isn't he?"

He squints his eyes to look, and realizes you're showing him a picture of a cat. "No!" He says.

"You're getting a plant, I'm getting a cat."

"Babe, a cat will destroy the greenhouse! Eat my plants!"

You giggle, "I know!"

"You're mean." He pouts like a child. "If you want a pet, let's get a dog! A turtle! A bird!" His eyes go wild as he looks at you again, like he never thought about getting birds before.

"No! Absolutely not! No birds in the house!"

He growls. "Fine. But no cat either!"

"Then let's go home, before our groceries go bad."

Alden leans over to you, his puppy eyes locked on you. "Please," he whispers close to your ear, knowing it's your weakness. "You promised my old man you'd always make me happy." You laugh at that and he follows, knowing how ridiculous this is.

"I'm sure Roman would be on my side for this."

"He's always on your side! I'm starting to think he loves you more than me."

"Well, I wasn't a juvie."

"That's a cheap shot!" He pinches your thigh as a quick punishment, making you jump on your seat.

"Parker! It hurts!" You slap his arm.

"Indeed. So I'm getting a baby plant to make myself feel better." He kisses your lips, before nipping it and leaving the car. You love this man so much it hurts.

"You better help me put the groceries away before spending an hour finding a place for your plant."

"Yes ma'am." Alden always carries most of the groceries to the house, because he doesn't want you to carry too much, even though you perfectly can. You stopped arguing with him on that a long time ago though. "Focus on carrying my baby." He says handing you the plant.

"That's something you say to your pregnant wife. And I'm neither pregnant nor your wife." You walk away after an extra sway, without waiting for him, knowing he's grunting with a smile as you do.

You reach the apartment a moment before him, giving you time to hide the plant. He doesn't realize right away, as you both put the groceries away. Somehow, you always end up having to put stuff on the top shelf, despite your struggle to reach it. But you know Alden likes it. He enjoys the view as you tiptoe - especially when you're wearing barely nothing. And of course, he takes the opportunity to come behind you. His arm follows yours, his hand brushing as he grabs the box of cereal and puts it there. His other hand puts your hair away so he can kiss your neck. "Everytime." You smile and lean into him, angling your head to give him better access.

"Advantage of dating a pocket size woman." His arms wrap around you, one of his hands softly stroking your neck. You stretch your arms behind the both of you, so your hands can touch his magnificent hair, deserving a soft 'hmmm' from him.

"Are you sure you're okay with us not getting married?" He softly asks, kissing the top of your head.

"Yes, Alden." You turn around to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck. "I told you I'm fine, I understand why you don't want to get married again, and we don't need that to be in a committed relationship." You kiss him, and his hand comes to hold and stroke your cheek while the other holds you tight against him. As the kiss intensifies, you can feel a bulge in his pants and if his hand slid into your panties, he could feel how wet you are getting.

But before it can get really interesting, Alden pulls away with a smirk on his face and walks out of the kitchen. "You cannot be serious right now!" You shout at him and hear him laugh. But you don't say anything more, knowing he's coming back any second, asking about his plant. So you just walk over to the couch, grab your book from the coffee table and settle there.

About twenty seconds later, Alden is in front of you, hands on his hip. "Where is it?"

"Where what is, dear?" You ask, not looking up from your book, even though you're absolutely not reading.

"Where is my baby plant?"

"Probably the same place my orgasm is."

Before you know it, the book is being thrown away and you're being pinned onto the couch, your wonderful boyfriend on top of you. "I'm gonna give you that orgasm, but" he links your wrists together to put them above your head. "Those hands stay here. If I feel your fingers on me, I'll stop here and there."

"Bossy," you tease him, trying not to show how this is turning you on. You love it when Alden gets all dominating and controlling. It's something he discovered and developed with you, which makes it extra special. Like it's a part of him that belongs to you and you only. No one ever got to see him like this and hopefully no one ever will.

"You kiss me, I stop." He adds. "You come before I allow you, no orgasm for a week."

"That's not fair!" You whine.

"You whine again, and I stop. You talk back and I stop." He holds your face, "Are we clear?" You nod.

"Good girl."

You don't move as he undresses you just enough, before pulling his already hard cock out and pumping a few times. You'll never get tired of this, of him. He can act tough and controlling, but the man doesn't even need you to touch him to get an erection. This makes you feel powerful and you love it.

Alden starts rubbing his leaking tip against your clit, earning soft noises from you. He teases your pussy for what feels like forever. "You look fucking beautiful, losing your mind under me like this." All you want to do is beg him to fuck you, but scared it'd sound like a whine, you don't say anything but his name. "I've never loved my name more than when it comes out of your mouth." So you say it again, and again.

"Fuck me." You whisper.

"I'm not sure you deserve it." His cock is replaced by his thumb, that's moving extremely slowly. "Maybe I'll just jerk off on this pretty pussy, and get on with my day."

"Make me cum, and I'll tell you where the plant is."

"God, I hope you never get tortured." You immediately feel his thick cock sliding inside you, and you moan loudly. His body is completely on top of you now, he's pampering your face with kisses as he thrusts in and out of you. His eyes lock into yours and his arms crawl under yours and he intertwines his fingers with yours. "You were made for me, weren't you?"

"Yes, I was. Fuck Den, I'm close."

"Thank god cause I can't hold back much longer." He let go of one hand to rub your clit, making sure you're both cumming at the same time. You love how he allows himself to be loud as he milks deep inside you, this sends you over the edge and you match his volume.

After a few sex sessions when you started to date, you realized how he was forcing himself to be quiet when he reached his orgasm. You asked him about it and he confessed that he was told several times that he was too loud and it wasn't pleasant - mostly by his ex wife - so he forced himself to control his noises. Of course, you told him to never do that again with you and he hasn't since, especially when he noticed how much you loved it.

Alden lays on top of you, both catching your breath. He let go of your hands so you can hold him and stroke his back and hair. "You're my ride or die, baby." He confesses.

Ever since you had the marriage conversation, and he admitted not wanting to do it again, Alden has been making sure to let you know how committed he is, and how much he loves you, and that his decision has nothing to do with you.

"I know."

A few seconds later, he's looking at you, puzzled. "What?" You ask.

"I'm not your ride or die?"

You giggle but don't say anything. "You're annoying." He sits up, pulling his soft cock out of you, making a much bigger mess on the couch. You're quick to follow, grabbing his face and kissing him. "You're my ride or die, you crazy plant lover."

"The crazy part appeared because of you." He kissed you a little more. "Now, where is it?"

You laugh and tell him. You thought he was leaving you like this, but of course he comes back with his plant and a towel for you. "And just like that, I've been replaced." You roll your eyes.

"Be glad it's not with a younger woman--"

"If you pick someone younger, it'd be illegal, Mr Federal Agent."

As you called it, it took him about an hour to rearrange the greenhouse just to find the perfect spot for his new plant. An hour you spent on the leather couch in the greenhouse, switching between reading your book and looking at your handsome man. "Come." He extends his hand to you, so you take it and follow him to where the plant is now installed. "Name it." He says, hugging you from behind.

"Why me? It's your plant."

"Do you know what exactly it is?"

"Of course not, Alden."

He chuckles. "It's a Peacelily. It'll bloom into a beautiful white flower. And it's known to remove harmful toxins from the air."

"oh, really? That's nice!" You look closer at the plant.

"I want you to name it cause it's yours. It's you." You turn around to face him, "So pure and beautiful, who takes all the negativity away whenever you're around."

You knew Alden was romantic and loving, but he was taking it to another level with this. You're close to tearing up as you hug and kiss him. "I'm the luckiest girl in the world."

"You make my world better."

You kiss more and look at the plant again. "Bonnie."

"Bonnie?"

"Yeah, and maybe we could get a grumpy, older plant, put next to it and name it Clyde."

"I sense a subliminal message there but I'll ignore it."

You laugh and hug him tight.

#alden parker #alden parker fanfic #alden parker imagine #ncis #alden parker x reader #ncis fanfiction #ncis imagine

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somethingsomethingwords · 3 months

Text

Ok so, here is another one. This is a little bit different from what I usually write or even like reading, but alas, sometimes an idea just enters your brain and just doesn't leave. Also this one has a title ig. So here it is. I hope you'll like it. Enjoy 💜

Of course I wanted you to stay

(but you didn't, no you didn't, no you didn't)

Lance was so full of adrenaline he almost dropped the mic. He was shaking from head to toe, but there was a huge grin on his face.

There was no sadness, because even if this was the last concert of the tour, it had been one of his best ones like, ever.

Also he was home, so he knew that after all the crazy partying he would do tonight, tomorrow he'd meet his sister, he'd go to that bakery that sells the best cupcakes, and he'd be able to roam the streets with his thick glasses and ugly beanie and scarf combos, and no one would recognise him.

But still, that's tomorrow. In that moment, there was the encore.

It was always different, so it was always special, but that day even more so. It was composed of three of his older songs, about pain and heartache and moving on despite the past, maybe in spite of it. He loved it very much. Because he was home, singing his first hits and he was ending one of the happiest and saddest tours of his life.

It had started great, new album, in love and energetic. Then he was left behind, alone and with nothing to show for it. Because it had to stay a secret. He had to keep his love secret. He had had no one to complain to, because the only people who knew would have been put in an uncomfortable situation, and he didn't want that. So he hid his hurt and did what he always did. He put it in his music. He sang his pain until the only hurt he could feel was the one in his throat.

It really had been a rollercoaster. But now it was the end, everything was better, and he wanted to send a last fuck you. He may have matured, but nothing would make him lose his pettiness.

So he sang.

Are you sorry like you weren't at the time?

Loving you was easy,

that's why it hurts now

The worst way to love somebody

is to watch them love somebody else

and it works out now

And sang.

Cause someone loved me,

someone fucking loved me

Someone fucking loved me,

I loved him too

Goddamn it, I was worth something,

I fuckin' earned something

I have a right to die, a right to live,

a right to choose, too. And God, no!

Of course I don't wanna feel better!

Can you fucking imagine?!

And sang.

Because, in the end,

you can see how much I loved you

from the fact that I'm fine now

It's a lie, but I say it anyhow

He put every single emotion into these songs, and finally let them go.

When the crowd roared, it all exploded.

He felt a solitary tear wet his face, but nothing could have stolen his smile. He waited for his band, then bowed and left the stage.

The night was young and he was feeling free and wild. And quite hungry, actually.

So he took his band to his favourite pub. They ate, and drank, and ate some more.

On the taxi towards his house, Lance realised that, no matter how much it had hurt, he didn't regret having what he had with Fernando.

Even the tears, even the heartbreak, they all shaped the person he was today.

He liked to think he was loyal, and dependable and kind. But most importantly, he liked to think he was better than the person he was yesterday.

His house appeared, and after paying and tipping the taxi driver, he opened the door.

Yeah, it was big and a little bit empty and a little bit cold. A little bit like his heart. But it was something to be proud of, because it was his, and he was working on it.

---

The next day he really started to rethink all of this rock star thing.

His head pounded with his heartbeat and his mouth tasted rancid.

He got up and drank some water, downing a couple of aspirins for his headache.

After the shower he felt somewhat normal, and decided to go out for breakfast.

He reached his favourite bakery and ordered two pastries to go. He wanted to retreat and lay warmly in front of the fireplace.

Lance noticed him as soon as he stepped out, but he decided to ignore him. His house wasn't that far, he could reach it quickly and without having to talk to him. For once, he wanted to thank whoever made him with long legs.

But even if he could go fast without running, so could the other.

They walked in silence, side by side, for a few minutes.

When the silence and the presence were getting to him, he abruptly stopped and turned towards the other man.

"What do you want?"

Fernando didn't deserve kindness nor gentleness. He forfeited those when he left Lance. Via text. Without explanation and blocking him immediately after.

Lance had spent too many days crying; now he wanted nothing to do with the man.

"Hello Lance. Was just around" he said, as if it explained why he was in Canada and not in England, in Monaco, hell even at home in Spain.

Lance huffed and started moving again, having had more than enough, but stopped when he felt a firm grip on his wrist.

He stared at the hand on his arm with wide eyes, before raising them to Nando's face.

"You have three seconds to either take your hand off or have it broken" he said shakily.

There must have been something in his voice that made the threat a real one, because suddenly he was free again.

"Lance, am sor..." Nando started.

"Shut up before I make you. We can't discuss here, someone could recognise you. Come to my house" surely not his finest moment, but all Lance could feel was fury. Still, he wasn't raising his voice, so he could consider it a win.

you are still protecting him, Este's voice said in his mind.

shut up, of course I am, but what else could he do?

They arrived at his house. He quickly opened the door and closed it when Fernando got in.

"You have no right to come here with your flimsy excuse and expect me to be ok with it. Now, tell me what you want and get the hell out of my house" there, simple and direct.

For a moment, Fernando seemed seriously sorry. But Lance didn't care. He was the one left behind, the one who had to pick up his pieces when he fell apart. He healed as best as he could, and he would not apologise for building up his defences.

"Lance, I am really sorry, for what's worth. I want to explain"

"You are a few months too late. At this point, I don't even know if I care. I only ever asked one thing, Alonso. One. I was ok with being kept a secret, and avoiding being seen together, and the distance. I only asked you to openly communicate and shit like that. You just left without a word" now that he had started, he couldn't seem to stop.

"You knew, I told you why I wanted that. Why I needed you to be honest and open, yet you just disappeared. I had to ask Este, who had to ask Mick. And for what. To be told that you had a new model girlfriend? So no, Alonso, I don't care anymore. It would just reopen old wounds. Now go, I'm sure you have somewhere else to be"

and someone else to be with, it wasn't said but both could hear it.

"That's not right. I have nowhere to go. Am alone, Lance" he said, something hurt and teary in his voice.

Lance was about to replicate, sharp words already on the tip of his tongue, when something in Nando's expression made him stop. His eyes showed how open he was being, how vulnerable.

Lance sighed, and led the man into the living room, making him sit on the couch, while he went into the kitchen and brought back two glasses of water. He would have preferred something stronger, but this felt too important of a moment to have it tainted by alcohol and not being in the right mind.

He sat on the opposite side of the couch, and waited for the other to start talking.

"First of all, am sorry, really. I knew it would hurt you, how I left you, but I did it anyway. And I know you have no reason to believe me or care. Am here because I believe you deserve the truth about everything"

He seemed honest, but Lance wouldn't trust him so easily, not again.

"What are you hoping for with your confession months later, mh? I'm not going to obediently come back to you, waiting to be heartbroken again. You're not gonna fuck me and leave, either. So, what do you want?" he was probably being unfair to the other man, but anger and confusion had never been a good mix of emotions for him.

"Lance, I would never..."

"Like you would never leave, Alonso? Don't make promises you can't keep and don't say things you don't mean" he interrupted, harsh and stubborn.

"You are right. I made promises and then I broke them and betrayed your trust. But I need you to know I had reasons. Not perfect, not good, but I had them" and goddamnit, Lance could feel himself beginning to soften.

just listen to him, said his conscience, suspiciously sounding like Mick.

"Would you care to explain them?" Was he being sarcastic or curious? He himself didn't know.

"Of course. Someone was starting to notice some...changes in me. I was happier, nicer, smiled more. Someone I don't like said something in a way I didn't like. Made me understand that he knew something was up, and would ruin me. So I decided that I needed to protect myself, to protect you. Left you because I couldn't see you. I knew I'm not strong enough to leave you if I saw you"

It all sounded logical, from a certain point of view, but Lance knew there was more, so he waited for the other to continue.

After a few seconds, Fernando raised his eyes, looking at Lance, before turning them down again.

"I didn't like the weakness. All the time, I was thinking about you, wanted you near. It was too much. So I thought I could just stay away, and forget about it"

about you, was left unsaid.

"And can you? Forget about it?" Lance not only wanted to know. He needed to, before going on with the conversation. He could feel his hands beginning to shake and his eyes starting to water, but he had to be sure.

Fernando immediately raised his eyes, and spoke with a tone determined and something like hope in his eyes.

"Of course I can't. I'm here right now, begging for a second chance" he said pleadingly.

"Then beg" Lance said, not meanly, but he also wasn't feeling particularly charitable, and it was better to make some things clear from the beginning: he wasn't going to repeat the same mistakes. He wasn't the young man staring at his teen crush, starry eyed and in love and grateful for every scrap of attention and affection. He was older, maybe a little bit more bitter, a little bit wiser. Fernando left some marks onto his heart, and he wasn't going to refresh them for nothing less than certainty.

"Lance, please give me another chance. I know I fucked up, was so wrong. I'm begging you, let me fix this. However long it takes, is ok. Just, tell me you'll think about forgiving me, and starting again" he was being so earnest, how could Lance resist?

"Even if I forgive you, and it's a big if, I'm not going to forget anytime soon, ok? I'll need time and space and for you to make an effort" he really was weak for this man, but who could blame him, he spent half his childhood idolizing him and then he met him and fell in love.

"Will do whatever it takes. But let me, please"

Realising all the air stuck in his lungs, Lance sighed.

"Ok"

He didn't even finish the word that Fernando picked him up and spun Lance around, making him laugh despite himself.

Fernando finally put him down, and took his hand to kiss it, maintaining the eye contact for a few seconds.

Lance could feel himself blushing, and quickly shook his head, still smiling.

After a few seconds of just getting reacquainted with one another, Fernando broke the silence.

"I liked the show yesterday. Especially the encore"

And now Lance was definitely blushing. His encore had been designed as a way of finally letting go, one last screw you to the man now in front of him. But he couldn't say that to him, even if it was pretty clear.

It would have been childish to throw shades at Fernando in one of his concerts, no?

"Yeah, I was inspired, I guess" his smile smaller but still there.

"Fuck the guy who made you suffer, the bastard" and in his jokingly way, Nando was telling him that he wasn't angry, and that they would be ok.

"Yeah, fuck him"