sigh. i saw a tiktok earlier talking about people who threaten suicide in order to prevent others from leaving them and how manipulative it is. the top comment was somebody confessing to having done it in the past because of their bpd, but they were extremely ashamed of it.
every single response was calling that person an abuser and a monster.
i am SO fucking tired of people on the internet claiming to support cluster Bs and then rescinding that as soon as one of our less-than-acceptable symptoms rears it ugly head. you all want to support people in cluster B until we… act like we are in cluster B. to be clear; i am NOT saying it is okay to threaten suicide to prevent someone from leaving you. that is manipulation and emotional abuse and having a personality disorder doesn’t excuse it. but our disorders make us do ugly things sometimes which is the unfortunate truth of it, and the person CLEARLY had learned from their past and gotten better, so what’s the issue?
someone said that bpd is an “explanation, not an excuse.” i swear, why is “explanation not excuse” every non-cluster-B’s favorite phrase? the person didn’t try to excuse themself. they said they were ashamed. there is a difference between “i did this bad thing once because of my bpd and i feel bad about it,” and “i did this bad thing once but it’s fine because i have bpd.” you all love to scream “explanation not excuse!!!” but i don’t think any of you know the difference, because when we explain ourselves, all you see are excuses.
someone else told them to “get help.” CLEARLY they had gotten the help they needed. whether it was professional, external, or internal, i’m not sure, but they obviously had been capable of doing the self-reflecting necessary to determine that what they did was not okay and learn to not repeat that mistake. that’s another buzzword you all like. “get help.” but when we do get help, you don’t care. you brush it under the rug. you don’t think we can redeem ourselves even if we work towards becoming better, because those ugly parts of our past driven by our disorders? you won’t let us live them down. you won’t let us grow and change; you think we’re these soulless monsters doomed to keep repeating the same mistakes for the rest of our lives.
stop treating cluster Bs like our diagnoses are a death sentence. stop denying us the chance to actually get better. stop undermining the work we’ve done and the efforts we’ve made to become better people just because we may have been manipulative in the past.
you don’t support cluster Bs, because you don’t understand that there’s more to cluster B than just hating yourself and feeling sad.
support all cluster Bs or don’t claim you support us. it’s so transparent and it is sickening.
*note: this of course does not apply to cluster Bs who have a history of being cruel/abusive and continually refuse to better themselves or take accountability.
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bust your knee caps / pomplamoose
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Alone + empty + needing validation = Tumblr
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Things that don’t make you a bad person:
Displaying “scary” symptoms of mental illness
Being diagnosed with multiple disorders
Having one or various personality disorders
Being diagnosed with NPD, BPD, or ASPD
Having very low empathy, or no empathy
Having symptoms that cause anger, emptiness, or paranoia
Having triggers or “strange” personal boundaries
Needing extra help or accommodations
Having intrusive thoughts about upsetting or scary topics
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i am beautiful. i am disgusting. everybody is lucky to meet me. nobody can stand dealing with me. i am worthless. i am perfect. i am numb. i have experienced 20 moods in 2 minutes. i hate everybody. i love everybody. i’ve never done anything wrong in my entire life. all i do is fuck things up. i consumed 5,000 calories in 10 minutes. i haven’t eaten in three days.
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I see this a lot in leftist circles but mental illness, trauma and abuse will exist with or without capitalism, your “mental illness is a social phenomenon” might be true for your depression and your anxiety but I beg all of you to think about psychotic people, systems and people with personality disorders when you make posts like that. It might be true that we wouldn’t be labeled as mentally ill but we would still need resources to help us cope, there’s still something we would need help coping with and you should focus on making that help available and accessible and free of bigotry for all of us instead of living in a “no mentally ill people” pseudo progressive eugenicist dream.
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I didn’t want to be “stronger” I wanted to be a child
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my secret to being super cute is having abandonment issues
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The world is ending so I wanna hear everything you have to say
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recovery is not just the option, it is the inevitable
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There’s this very widespread belief on here that borderline personality disorder is just something that white edgy teenagers on kinblr self-diagnose as. And while I don’t subscribe to the notion that people self-diagnose for “attention” (that’s an entirely separate conversation) I do understand that there is a subset of cluster B blogs on tumblr that absolutely do contribute to the stereotypes of people with borderline and other villfied personality disorders like ASPD and NPD. Trust me, I’ve gone into the tags to look for resources for borderline people like me only to be met with very dark and depressing poetry and “aesthetic” pictures that glorify su*cide. As someone with borderline, it sucks, but there are always going to be people that romanticize mental illness. There’s always going to be people that may or may not have good intentions and people who may or may not actually have borderline.
In the same breath, I do want to say that Cluster B personality disorders hardly ever get any positivity or real conversation on here because of these stereotypes. In fact, I feel like I had to mention those type of blogs in the first two paragraphs because anytime I bring it up, someone has to remind me that we’re all toxic and attention-seeking. It’s beyond frustrating.
I remember telling someone that I’m an older adult and a public school teacher with BPD, and them telling me I must be wrong, that only 13-year-olds have BPD. And nope, I’ve been clinically diagnosed with it for years and have done lots of organizing in my community where most of the people I work with are my age or older and come from all walks of life.
We hardly ever have people calling out the ableism that we face. People who do work for other disorders and for neurodivergence in general are happy to label us as toxic and abusive or say nothing when they see others calling us these things. And when we try to bring it up, posts like this get maybe 20 notes, and they’re all from fellow Cluster B people.
Did you know that BPD patients have an average of three lifetime suicide attempts, mostly by overdose. 10% of us will kill ourselves. Most of these are young people. There is hardly any clinical data that looks into suicide prevention for us. Not to mention that 70% of BPD patients quit treatment programs.
I think that not only do we need to confront the stigma of BPD, we need to reevaluate why posts that throw us under the bus for laughs can easily get 100k notes. Why there is almost 0 to no positivity for us outside of our own communities. Why people are so quick to laugh at us all being edgy tumblr kinnies (who by the way still need help and treatment and love and support if they have borderline too.) The fact that you’re all a breath away from accusing us of faking BPD for attention, when most of us actually don’t even seek treatment because of the stigma of having BPD and telling others we have it.
It’s frustrating that you you all do this Cluster B’s, and to borderlines. It sucks, and it’s hurtful as hell.
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