I’m persuaded she’s not right for me and that this is gonna end badly and I don’t know if these feelings are genuine and based on Actual Experiences I’m having or if my bpd is, as always, making me throw away the things which make me happy before they have a chance to hurt me
My favorite new excuse is to say “I dunno I’m mentally ill” after everything lol
Don’t ever fucking talk to me ever again
Don’t look at me ever again
I never want to hear my name on your tongue ever again
don’t even think about looking at him ever again
You’ll be a fucking dead man if I even catch the slightest glimpse
You’re such a fucking ankle weight. I don’t want you here and I know I’ve made it to you very clear. Get out of my fucking house and never return
He’s never going to love you
I know he won’t
And not ever
He won’t leave me for you
I know he won’t
he won’t be able to Even if I have to go to extreme measures to make sure of it
Stim/Fidget Toy of The Day:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 5 stars
Pretty low key and quiet. Sparkly and pretty for visual stimming and makes a very quiet click sound. Flipping it around and around during classes is super helpful.
me: i would like a personality please
god: did you mean… a personality… disorder?
Angels whisper sweet nothings into her ear
Before sinking below the surface
Thank you :) I honestly don’t know if this is the best decision. I had an offer from a guy I used to hook up with which was tempting as he’s closer and he’d probably be more chill than my aunt and uncle - who I’ll be staying with in Scotland - but I didn’t feel comfortable because I don’t really know if I want anything physical with him and I think he’ll try and suggest it. I don’t think he’d ever pressure me or anything but he’ll probably make comments which would make me uncomfortable. And I’m worried about the police stopping me and not thinking my reason is good enough to travel. And I’m thinking “maybe my flatmate just had a bad 24 hours and he’ll be fine tomorrow.” So honestly the whole thing is just not ideal and I’m so worried that every decision I make is the wrong one. I know that my problems are nowhere near as bad as other people’s but this is honestly as much for his good as it is for me because I am moving in the direction of not being able to keep what I say and do in check and I’m scared to leave my room in case he says something to me which sends me on a spiral, one way or another
me: [slaps self in face]
also me: self care
when will my therapist return from the social distancing
deliberately exposing urself to triggering content: s*lf h*rm or exposure therapy? discuss
Angel, I want to make you feel loved. Let me kiss your cheek when you’re happy about something. Let me hold your hand in public. I’ll take you on dates to all my favourite places and even new places for us to experience together. I’ll play with your hair until you fall asleep. We can go for long drives at night and listen to each other’s favourite music. I’ll write you love letters and spray them with my cologne. You can sleep by my side and I’ll make you breakfast in the morning. I just want to take care of you and make you happy.
How does a conversation start with “I love you, but i’m feeling a bit insecure.. do you still love me?” and end with, “you need help”?
bpd is a bitch, yes, but you’re being a dick for pressing my worn out buttons.
if i fall asleep tonight please don’t be in my dreams, i can’t bear anymore flashbacks.
- ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* i made nazi uniform in animal crossing!!! (very fucked!) ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
- ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* i am going to put a penis on a dress in animal crossing! (very fucked as well!) ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
♥♡♥(ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*)♥♡♥ only spread positivity and your legs!!! not hate!!!!!! ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
i’m there for everyone else but who’s ever there for me.. EXACTLY. No One.
finally im officially clinically diagnosed with bpd. it took me 5 fucking years since i started suspecting. self-dx is a good thing, but should be done carefully.
Hey there! I am a Traumagenic DID system.
I’d like to follow others with the same mental struggles as myself such as:
Stim/Fidget Toy of The Day:
⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ 4 ½ stars
Very stimmy. Nice sensory textures. I love playing and stimming with it for hours. The bright colors make me happy. I love pinching the smily faces. The finger massager is really relaxing. Kinda large though. Doesn’t fit in my stim bag easily but it’s nice.