Small little coping with DID tip that really isn’t the huge trauma focused one, but really try to have some light hearted pointless fun with your parts from time to time. Do stupid shit and do “cool things” that aren’t usually possible if you didn’t have the disorder given it is safe and comfortable and all parties involved are completely free to participate or not participate as they like.
Cause some people would be like “WOW YOU DONT TAKE THIS SERIOUS TRAUMA DISORDER SERIOUSLY?! YOU ARE DOING XYZ LIKE ITS A GAME” but like honestly? Fuck off XD Like for real.
I - as I’m sure many other systems do - spend like 95% of my life chronically dealing with the minor passive to massively large problems of having the trauma that I have. Don’t get on people’s asses for just trying to make something fun and enjoyable out of a shitty situation and to carve out a bit of humor and enjoyment in an otherwise chronic grind against trauma shit.
Like honestly as a part, one of the things that helped kinda keep the system together and feel included - even with how much they ALL grumble about it - was how regularly I would leave notes and ask them to do stupid things like take and report personality quizzes, or take a selfie to compare faces, picrews, or idk, a lot of stupid tasks and games and quizzes really.
Its a small thing but having those part-to-part casual interactions / participation not only kind of keeps things light hearted, but it also is kind of a start up corner stone practice skill for working together as a team. Yeah the level of copperation and communication between “Hey everyone I found this cool quiz please report ;w;” and “Okay everyone lets get through college and school together and make a perfect life as a team” is massive, but for parts that there is a lot of dysfunction between, simply participating in the system by taking a silly quiz can be a large step to integrating a part into the overall team which can lead to better relationships and future progress going forward.
But like, secret ace tip. Do some silly stupid fun shit with your system that people might call cringe or “romanticizing it” or whatever. Don’t force anyone to participate. Don’t demand anyone to. Just casually suggest and ask for them to humor it, and see who comes to the table.
Honestly a lot of my requests typically just end up with Ray doing it, and everyone else forgetting / ignoring it - myself included XD But the attempt and sentiment is often what counts.
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something I wish more people understood is that headcanoning someone as a system is very different from headcanoning them as queer, or as ADHD or autistic. being a system can only come about through DID/OSDD, which are dissociative disorders stemming from extreme trauma experienced in early childhood. it is more likely than not comorbid with C-PTSD and PTSD because of the severity of the trauma.
by headcanoning someone as a system, you are saying that they experienced something horrific in their youth, something so bad their mind had to compartmentalize it into different parts so they would be able to function. this dictates a lot more than just them being a system--it affects every part of how they interact with the outside world, just like how severe PTSD affects things.
it's not just something you can slap onto a character. it's a very serious disorder. there's (sometimes) amnesia and triggers and everything else you'd associate with severe trauma and especially dissociation.
this isn't to say it's bad--it's just to say that you very much need to do your research. being a system is a LOT more than just alters and by saying someone's a system, you're saying a lot about their childhood.
there's also the issue of implicit bias that singlets hold that leak into their headcanons. this is not their fault, it is the fault of inaccurate portrayals of systems in the media and of harmful misinformation spread both in media and even here on tumblr. however, it's something people need to be extremely aware of.
all the implications of systemhood should be taken into account when you are making headcanons, and if you aren't sure you can pull it off, do your research! talk to systems you know! ask for help!
singlets can reblog this
ENDOS/ENDO SUPPORTERS DO NOT INTERACT.
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someone needs to make a subreddit called r/fuckfakedisordercringe that just (with consent) posts a bunch of systems with aspects that would usually get them fakeclaimed but just tell them theyre doing amazing and talk about how valid and cool they are
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As a system that mostly consists of non-introject humans, it's very weird that people think systems that have introjects and/or non-humans and/or alters that don't look like the body are unrealistic or even fake.
If you had to deal with stress or traumatic situations and no one but some fictional characters (maybe they're even characters you made yourself/selves) gave you comfort during these times, it's more than likely you'll get fictives.
Or maybe content from a celebrity gave you comfort, or a historical figure you got interested in made you forget the current bad stuff going on, or there were some nice people you held dearly on your heart. Factives.
Maybe the opposite happened. Someone that hurt you, or a piece of media that gets on your nerves, or a scary creature from a folktale someone told you that made you not sleep at night, those too, can become alters.
If you were dehumanized, alienated, infantilized, demonized, romanticized, fetishized, etc. you may get headmates that act accordingly.
Sometimes they may exist without any known reason. My system got a literal badger and no one knows where it came from, it's not an animal that reminds us of comfort or trauma, it's just there.
People have to stop thinking there is a default to what a system looks like, including other systems. Expecting alters to be bland because you think everyone has to follow cringe culture's rules to what is and isn't ridiculous is odd.
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Why can’t I be sad about my own feelings? It took something emotional in a TV show we’re watching for me to finally break down. I’ve been feeling so deflated all day, I guess because it’s the first day we’ve actually been able to rest.. on top of the huge relief that our sister is finally in hospital after such a long wait.. I feel so broken right now. I know I’m exhausted from being in a triggered state for the last couple of months and it’s all logical but I feel like such a mess. I’m sad and relieved and exhausted and angry and so many other things and now I’m frustrated that my tears wouldn’t come out for myself, my own situation, but they did for some fictional characters’ situation. I know stuff happens like this sometimes but it’s really frustrating. I want my anger to be mine. I want my sadness to be mine.
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DID culture is having your psychiatrist be extremely awkward around you because they gaslit you about the possibility of having DID, until a specialist got involved and debunked all their lies. (And subsequently diagnosed you with OSDD)
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Kind of fucked up how when it comes to introjects in DID people tend to either treat us like collectibles or think we're fake for existing, and despite there being all sorts of content for us most of it won't quit setting us apart as some sort of "other". We're just people, a part of someone's brain. We're not magically incapable of fusion, either.
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endogenic “systems” aren’t systems. they never will be systems. if you GENUINELY believe you are endogenic and plural, either you don’t remember your trauma, or you’re delusional (we are psychotic and not using that in a derogatory way). otherwise, you’re just lying!
<3 thank you for 100+ followers love u guys
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Passive aggressive maybe, but like...healing and getting better isn't easy. When I see people make posts about "LOL google says I should make a schedule to help manage my ADHD but I can't make a schedule bc I have ADHD" it's like. People saying that stuff know it's hard. That's part of why you gotta do it.
Sometimes healing is easier. Sometimes it's something really small that becomes routine. But sometimes it's hard! Sometimes you gotta push yourself to do something and it sucks! But I don't know what to tell you, other than that you don't need to be good at it right away.
Using the calendar example, I have ADHD + semi-frequent memory loss, so it can feel really difficult to try and make a calendar when both of those things can directly get in the way. So I started with making sure recurring events were in it, like therapy and med reminders. Now I'm usually able to remember to put in appointments or other one-time events in as soon as I know about them. It takes a lot of work.
I don't know. I just think sometimes people on this site are sitting in mud and complaining about being dirty. You really do need to try.
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I saw a post the other day from someone who was distressed that a parent had found their system tiktok and I can't stop thinking about it
If you are scared about someone, particularly an abuser, finding an account, don't share identifying information, especially not videos of yourself.
I grew up in the early days of the internet and online safety PSAs which were often laughable but deeply ingrained the idea that the internet can be dangerous so never give out identifying information.
And while I think some of those ideas are rather extreme, it's really jarring to see how much things have swung in the opposite direction.
If you are posting things you don't want people in your life to see, don't post things on an open platform with identifying information such as your face, your name, or where you live.
This is especially important if you're concerned about abusers finding what you post.
I know the internet has changed drastically and it's a lot more common for people to post identifying info, but if you're still in a position where people in your life seeing what you post could be dangerous, please be careful. Find places or ways to post that are separate from your IRL identity. Keep yourself safe.
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Things that don’t make you a bad person:
Displaying “scary” symptoms of mental illness
Being diagnosed with multiple disorders
Having one or various personality disorders
Being diagnosed with NPD, BPD, or ASPD
Having very low empathy, or no empathy
Having symptoms that cause anger, emptiness, or paranoia
Having triggers or “strange” personal boundaries
Needing extra help or accommodations
Having intrusive thoughts about upsetting or scary topics
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Some Important Reminders
You DON’T have to constantly be acting traumatized to be a valid survivor.
You DON’T have to show people how much you hurt and are bothered by it on a daily to be a valid survivor.
Being OKAY and having FUN does not invalidate the pain that you went through and what you had to do to survive.
You don’t owe it to ANYONE to act ANYWAY because of the shit you went through.
It’s OK to live a normal life.
Its OK to have fun in life.
It’s OK to not constantly post about how miserable you are.
It’s OK to enjoy the simple things in life and to celebrate that you are not in the same place you used to be.
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I see this a lot in leftist circles but mental illness, trauma and abuse will exist with or without capitalism, your “mental illness is a social phenomenon” might be true for your depression and your anxiety but I beg all of you to think about psychotic people, systems and people with personality disorders when you make posts like that. It might be true that we wouldn’t be labeled as mentally ill but we would still need resources to help us cope, there’s still something we would need help coping with and you should focus on making that help available and accessible and free of bigotry for all of us instead of living in a “no mentally ill people” pseudo progressive eugenicist dream.
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In case you ever feel insecure about how a lot of your alters or similar or respond the same to things or have similar triggers, please remember the fact that you’ve all lived the same life. your perspectives may have been different but you’ve all been through the same experiences and interacted with the same people. you don’t think it’s weird when best friends who grew up together act similarly so don’t judge yourselves for being alike when you literally live in the same body.
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Shout out to alters who thought they were someone's figment of imagination.
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Trauma didn't make me nice, I consciously made me nice because I don't want anyone else to suffer like I did. Trauma didn't make me strong, I made me strong. Don't you dare ever tell me my trauma made me anything but scared, broken, and confused. Don't give credit to the abusers for me being a good person. They didn't make me good, I made myself good.
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Free Trauma and Dissociation Books
This is the link to Google Drive folder containing these books. There is a list below of what is in the folder. Please consider reblogging so these resources are available.
Disclaimer: I have not read all of these to completion. I have not researched all the authors. Please do your own research if you have concerns.
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk MD
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker
Complex PTSD Recovery Workbook by Kimberly Callis
Complex PTSD Workbook by Arielle Schwartz
Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele, Onno van der Hart
EMDR Toolbox: Theory and Treatment of Complex PTSD and Dissociation by James Knipe
Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to Do When a Parent’s Love Rules Your Life by Patricia Love, Jo Robinson
Got Parts? An Insider’s Guide to Managing Life Successfully with Dissociative Identity Disorder by ATW
The Haunted Self by Onno Hart
Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self Alienation by Janina Fisher
In an Unspoken Voice How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness by Peter A. Levine
Life After Trauma: A Workbook for Healing by Dena Rosenbloom, Mary Beth Williams, Barbara E. Watkins
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook: A Guide to Healing, Recovery, and Growth by Glenn R. Schiraldi
The PTSD Workbook: Simple, Effective Techniques for Overcoming Traumatic Stress Symptoms by Mary Beth Williams, Soili Poijula
Rebuilding Shattered Lives: Treating Complex PTSD and Dissociative Disorders by James A. Chu
Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, Christine Musello
Stoning Demons Book 1: Childhood Trauma is a Primer for Complex PTSD by Kimberly Callis
Stoning Demons Book 3: Physical Health and Complex PTSD by Kimberly Callis
The Stranger in the Mirror by Marlene Steinberg
Toxic Parents by Susan Forward, Craig Buck
Trauma and Recovery by Judith L. Herman
Trauma and the Body: A Sensorimotor Approach to Psychotherapy by Pat Ogden
Waking the Tiger Healing Trauma by Peter A. Levine
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[slaps my brain] this bad boy can fit so many mental disorders in it
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most of my OSDD comics are gone from the internet AFAIK but I thought this one would be good to reupload (also sometimes you have to google psychologytoday dissociative disorder to get the category to show up)
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A lot of people online follow a sort of "template" with DID, including making parts lists, using pluralkit or otherwise always having it known who's fronting, and being very openly a system all the time, among other things.
And this isn't wrong! But it's also far from the majority. Many people with DID, myself included, treat our DID differently. However, since the folks above are the ones most actively and openly posting online, it can feel like that's how everyone experiences DID. That was really overwhelming for me when I first got my diagnosis, because I didn't relate to the way a lot of people acted and thought.
My biggest advice for folks who either are diagnosed or are considering whether they have a dissociative disorder, or any other disorder really, is to take time for yourself first. Figure out independently what works best for you and your system. The internet will still be here. The community will still be here. Peer pressure isn't always a conscious thing. You can feel the pressure all by yourself.
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