"your [disability/disorder/mental illness] doesnt make you weak !!!"
okay, but... what if it does?
mentally, i'm not always strong. i have a lot of moments of weakness. i cry a lot, i overreact, i spend days isolating myself because socializing is so exhausting. my anxiety gets so bad that it physically exhausts me, it makes me sick to my stomach i have to sleep for hours to recover. physically, im weaker. i cant carry heavy things for long periods, i have to rest FREQUENTLY, im constantly exhausted.
so what, so why is being weak bad? does it make you a bad person? does it make you unworthy of love, of respect, of compassion? of course not.
your "strength" does not determine your worth. your value is not determined by what you can (physically or mentally) do for others or for society. you have value just by being.
take care of yourself. dont push yourself just because you feel like you need to be seen as "strong."
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I understand that infantilism is a huge issue in our community. I hate when abled people see us as children and not disabled adults/teens
But I am /so/ tired of low support disabled people speaking over everyone, to the point of claiming my accessibility needs and other high support people's needs being met is infantalization.
Some people /need/ things to be broken down and explained in simipliar words to process the information. That need being met is not treating them like a child
Some people learn to read through children's books because they didn't or can't currently learn to read at an average level, this need being met is not treating them like a child
Some disabled people need part time or full time medical caretakers, some need help grocery shopping, some need help with everyday living and showering
Just because youre disabled doesn't mean you know every disabled experience and doesn't mean high support needs aren't valid.
Some disabled people do need similar things as a child like daily care and simple sentences and its honestly insulting to claim their being infantilised for having those needs
I sometimes need things broken down and explained more simply to understand. I'm currently thinking about adult assisted living programs that would help me with housing and daily needs and shopping. Because I /could not/ survive on my own in an abled person world my support needs for both my chronic disabilities and severe mental illness range from mid-level support to extremely high support.
And those needs being met does not mean I'm being infantilised
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hello! im a young māori artist struggling to feed myself during essential-workers-only lockdown where i live. i recently made a couple d//on//atio/n posts, which really helped for a while. before i made those, i lost weight to dangerously low levels, losing the strength to function normally. the posts have about died now, but i'm still struggling. if it means much more i'm nd, nonbinary, psychotic and physically ill. i need to pay for my daily medication and transition costs (i am currently 4 years on testosterone). it also makes it already harder for me to get support & my art out there. all my requests are currently being ignored by my local government that should in theory be helping people like me right now.
i'm offering a range of art commissions to help support myself now and in the future! i'm also still accepting d//on//atio/ns because i can only work on about 5 commissions per week, which is still not nearly enough for me to survive longterm (which this will likely be). any ammount of income right now is a blessing for me, and i'm extremely grateful.
COMMISSIONS | DØNĀTĖ
sorry for the funky text, i don't want this to be shadowbanned.
rbs are heavily appreciated!!! also, please feel free to retweet my commission post.
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Why being forced to hide psychotic symptoms is detrimental to recovery:
Hi! it’s your friendly neighborhood schizoaffective and i have a story to tell, a story that’s backed by research.
my psychotic symptoms were early onset. my earliest memory of psychotic symptoms was 6 years old, when my parents were changing the locks on the house and i had an intense belief that changing them would mean someone had broken into our house and hadn’t left. i believed my toys had human emotions and felt sad if i played with another toy, so i refused to buy new toys because i was so scared of making my toys sad.
i had a very flattened emotional response (which i would later learn is a symptom of schizophrenia), and in kindergarten and first grade when we learned about emotions, i learned to fake the look of emotional response. i learned how to put a smile on my face when i felt happy and to put a frown on my face when i felt sad. when i was alone, i would practice, but some days i was too tired to do it and i kept my face in the natural way: flat. it wasn’t that i wasn’t feeling emotions, i just couldn’t express them the way people wanted me to
during my elementary school years, i made up words constantly to communicate. i couldn’t form proper sentences, something was blocked in my brain and everything felt scattered and scrambled (disorganized thoughts and speech). my teachers broke that habit in me, not by helping me learn to organize my thoughts, but by teaching me not to speak unless i knew exactly what i was trying to say.
then came middle school and i started hallucinating and my delusions got worse. but everything i had learned from teachers and tv was that hallucinations are scary to people, and i didn’t want to be scary. i would be laughed at if i told anyone about my strong beliefs (delusions) so i didn’t tell anyone. i didn’t tell anyone that i believed that the characters in my tv show were real and the government was hiding their existence and if they knew that i knew they’re real, they’d put me on a watch list. i didn’t tell anyone i was hearing sounds that came straight out of a horror movie. i hid that.
i hid it so well that i avoided treatment. i had an acute psychotic episode, and all i said was that i was having panic attacks. i didn’t tell anyone about the delusion that school was going to literally kill me, or that i heard blood curdling screams in the hallways and when i was trying to sleep at night. i avoided early intervention.
for other reasons that i won’t get into, i was put on seroquel as a mood stabilizer, but as many of you know, it’s also an antipsychotic. this was the first time in my life i felt some kind of relief from my symptoms. i didn’t connect the dots because my psychiatrist called it a mood stabilizer, not an antipsychotic, so i didn’t know why i was feeling better in those areas.
it wasn’t until 10th grade when i was taking a psychology class from a teacher i trusted that i connected the dots. by this time i knew i had psychosis. i had access to the internet and i had googled what was wrong with me, but it wasn’t until a class where he emphasized getting help that i thought ok, now i should bring it up.
by this point, i had had 2 more acute psychotic episodes that kept me out of school, but because i was taught to hide everything, i still didn’t tell anyone the real reason why i couldn’t function. “paralyzing panic attacks” became code for “whatever the real reason is that’s keeping him out of school”. but my teacher made me think i needed help, especially because we were learning about schizophrenia in class and i had a sneaking suspicion that i, someone with a family history of schizophrenia, had it.
i brought it up to my doctors and i was started on antipsychotics, this time with the official name of antipsychotics. but it was a bit too late. my psychiatrist told me that if we had caught it earlier, i may have reacted to treatment better.
i’ve been in treatment for years and the longest i’ve gone without an acute psychotic episode is 5 months. i’ve done my research and in patients with psychosis, the first few months after psychotic symptoms are present are vital to the treatment and recovery of the patient.
it’s not just, oh you won’t suffer as long, it’s literally you will have a better chance at recovery. if you catch psychosis in the prodromal stage, it can greatly reduce the chances of another psychotic episode happening.
by being taught to hide my illness from a young age, i lost the chance at having an easier recovery. yes i learned to confine myself to societal expectations and appear “normal”, but i caused myself more pain in the long run.
early intervention is key to an easier recovery, and i’m going to leave a few links to show you what i mean.
ted talk about early psychotic intervention
psychosis prodromal phase
talking with a psychiatrist about early psychosis intervention
early intervention of psychosis
benefits of early intervention
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