I HATE you living rent free in my head and that night is one of two times in my life I have like Trauma Nesia and I don't know, the next thing I knew I couldn't trust you again, outside of you going above and beyond your capabilities (obviously you can't see my side still) and really getting inside my head to get me even half way back again, like you couldn't even do that? Why do I think of you soooooooo much

there i go, hurting my own feelings and dragging you down with me

again

I have remembered this for what?

I, now, only can be depressed just from one thought about the ‘good days’ when I truly was myself. And I was myself with a person. The person I didn’t know I’d miss so much.

Congratulations! You have opened new memories!

Someone help me, please

I don't know what to think, I think I was having a crisis. I've been high for 9 days consecutively and making empulsive, horrible decision after impulsive, horrible decision. I am very fucking concerned because until yesterday I was feeling like I'd snap at any given second. I had no motivation, no drive, nothing was interesting, every day was boring and miserable. I really felt my life was spiraling out of control. And now, just a day after an impulsive encounter--the worst I've ever done--, I got high and cried when I got home and cut my hair and was ready to call the emergencies and then I just... shut down? I went to sleep and now I woke up and I feel nothing. Literally nothing. Nothing matters and I just exaggerated by cutting my hair and I'm fine and I don't need to be admitted. I know I do but I can't help feeling this way wtf is happening to me someone please help me.

ok to rb / please don’t repost

ok to rb / please don’t repost

Mom pls stop insisting that im attracted to men, maybe i am but men remind me of YOUR brother's abuse so, yeah, i dont want men 🙄

Lmao not me using my sexual abuse as an excuse to not get comfy with my heterosexual stage boyfriend 🤣🤣🤣 wtf bro we were 12 and i like women

Lmao i hate physical contact from men so much like yeah bestie i know youre nice and wanna hug me but it makes me remember my 15 y/o uncle trynna find my clit and then trying it again six years later im sorry but what can i do 🤷‍♂️

I've convinced myself I'm already dead

I bite the hand that feeds because he feeds me poison and calls love.

Forever // Inkubus Sukkubus

"It is so tragically unfortunate, to waste away at such an age. I turned sad young, I died long before I was dead."

inspired by @angeltw <3

fuck everything

it hurts it hurts it hurts and it’ll only get worse

fuck everything

I’M ALWAYS FUCKING POWERLESS EVEN IN MY DREAMS. I’M NEVER IN CONTROL. I CAN’T EVER GRASP ANYTHING.I’M USELESS AND ALONE IN THIS SHIT HOLE OF A WORLD. I ONLY HAVE MY ABUSIVE MOM AS THE ONLY PERSON WHO EVER GAVE A SINGLE SHIT ABOUT ME. THIS HELL IS MY ONLY SAFE SPACE BUT ITS DESTORYING ME. THE OUTSIDE WORLD IS EVEN WORSE AND I’M SCARED. CAN I FUCKING DIE ALREADY? I’M ALONE AND BRITTLE AND JUST CRUMBLING AND CAN’T STAND ON MY OWN TWO FEET.

People tell me ‘Just move out!?!?’

But I CAN’T. I LITERALLY CANNOT FUNCTION WITHOUT THESE PEOPLE I’M DEAD. I’M LITERLALY DEAD. THE PERSON I SHOULD’VE BEEN IS DEADL. I’M JUST LEFT LIKE THIS. 

WHY COULDN’T I BE BORN BRAVE??? WHAT THE FUCK. WHO PUT ME INT THIS FUCKING WORLD

it's so weird how sometimes u have nightmares where one of ur traumatic experiences plays out just like it did irl

and sometimes it's twisted and mangled so bad u can't even tell it's a nightmare until u write it down and read through it a couple (hundred) times