#add in ms jessica and it would be perfection!

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Let's talk about... Poppy Ratchapong Anomakiti

(This post is inspired by @angelbesideme who didn't know who Poppy was when I rambled on about him in some tags on a post about Tankhun in Kinnporsche. The gist of that ramble is that I love that Tong is getting to play such a complex character with Tankhun since all he had been given before kp was very plain characterisation.

And it's similar with Poppy - in that Poppy is FANTASTIC at the slapstick comedy characters but I just know he would slay a serious role and I really hope he's given the chance in the future. So @angelbesideme this is for you.)

I first became aware of Poppy in YYY, in which he plays Porpla - a yaoi fan and owner of a boarding house...who is either trans or a drag queen (apologies for not knowing exactly).

And in my awareness of him I learnt he was also in Why R U? and Lovely Writer, both of which I had already watched and not really noticed him in...so I went back to see.

In Why R U? he plays Junior - a class clown character and friend of Zon...so with similar slapstick theatrics to YYY...(on the right below)

But in Lovely Writer, he plays Jap, Gene's brother - I think he's the older brother but with the characters' dynamic he sometimes acts like a bratty younger brother - but either way, it's a little more *ahem* 'straight acting'...

And then most recently he's played Foei in Cutie Pie - Lian's wonderful assistant. He's back in a slapstick role but oh my god he was so good. So cute, so darling, so upstaging.

BUT having said that, I really want to see him play something serious, deep, challenging, angsty, soul-destroying (mine), and H E A V Y.

Praying to the bl gods to bring this about...not that it has to be a bl...I would watch him in anything just to see it.

#poppy! #poppy ratchapong #poppy is perfection #poppy my beloved #why r u? #yyy the series #lovely writer #cutie pie the series #kinnporsche #<- tagging because people who love tankhun should love poppy! #and if you didn't know who he is...you know now! #poppy also has a small guest role in #y destiny #as a homeless man #I haven't seen this series but from what I could find on youtube #it's a bit of an odd role (I think the whole series is a bit...out of left field) #angelbesideme #let's talk about... #oh! can you imagine porpla and tankhun together!? #add in ms jessica and it would be perfection!

[chaewonplzbiteme]

Three days...

First of all - thank you all a lot! To every reader, every reblogger, every liker, and last but not least, every follower! Thanks for the warm welcome.

Three days is a lot of time. Three revolutions of my home around the poles. My first proper work had a few cycles to traverse the globe and its time zones a few times, to gain impressions and arousing interest.

I'm giving you guys some of my thoughts and behind the scenes.

Publishing was not something I had in my mind when starting any of my two works so far. The 'Jessica x SinB' was rotting away in my drive, only recently have I dusted it off and posted it. 'Lazy Evaluation' was for shits and giggles - I could not stop after adding a joke and another joke. Well, gotta post somewhere at some point.

This blog was close to a start from zero. Two days before I posted 'Lazy Evaluation' - I was still writing the last paragraphs and did not even edit yet - I created the Tumblr and posted an old work of mine. Close to seven years old, I barely even remember how I wrote it. Just a horny night in front of MS Word. That's all I know. One like, one follower. Thank you, @cheezbot and @hasinum! You guys gave me a nice headstart~.

---

Potential spoilers for 'Lazy Evaluation' follow.

I have started Lazy Evaluation on March 11, and finished it on March 31. Twenty days, multiple hours every day (and a LAN party) - a lot longer than a single night for 'Jessica x SinB'. But the journey was a lot of fun, and I experienced a lot of tingly feelings for JiU 😊.

5k words, 30k characters, 145 paragraphs.

This sentence started it all:

Her low hums guided your mouth between her mounds, but your tongue dictated the rhythm of her mellow purrs.

It got me fixated. It set the theme. Bi-directional love making. And the rest of the paragraph followed. Fucking long sentence after this one, lol. I wanted to expand upon this. I knew I needed a mommy with big decent boobs deserving of worship. I thought of Karina or Eunbi first, but I'm afraid I don't know them that well. I don't follow any of their content except for MVs and some stages. JiU is a long lasting love, though, uninterrupted since 2014. I dig every single breath of her. Whopping body. Mine. What a good fit.

How would they start? Help with homework, a frustrating one would suit well. No one understands Monads, countless tutorials and even more memes about the myriads of tutorials. We have our computer science topic. Lazy-by-default evaluation is another concept common from the Haskell programming language, just like Monads. Perfect for procrastination. The fact that lazy-by-default is actually uncommon for programming languages and other technologies, but the de-facto modus operandi for a non-negligible number of humans has been brought to you by the academia gang.

Tortoise and hare is a fable about the hare losing the race due to its own arrogance. Also a heuristic for cycle detection in computer science. Good fit, but better about a race towards the peak, a vicious cycle of pleasure and edging.

A massage would initiate the intercourse. Maybe a hand job before the 69. A cream pie would be delicious. Target is three cum shots - no less. How to transition between positions. Joke about forgotten protection - I doubt Minji would be that careless, add her getting a pack of condoms from her bag (did anyone notice?).

I was already making a lot of jokes, some in mathematics and computer science. I tried to incorporate some classic jokes, too. Not all of them verbatim. The cloud is just someone else’s computer.

Pure functions are side-effect free. A consequence of this property is we can achieve idempotence. A healthy penis also satisfies this property, though, as your boner clearly shows.

I combined the following with a silly 1 + 1 = 3 joke:

A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician sit in a sidewalk cafe, looking at the building across the road. Two people go into the building, then three people come out.   Physicist: "This must be a measuring error!"   Biologist: "This is proof of procreation!"   Mathematician: "If one more person goes into the building, it will be empty!" 

Maybe I am the only one laughing. Who cares. You see the result at the cream pie. The sum of all its parts is greater than the whole. I combined with that, too.

About the never-before-solved formula: I consider this to be quite surprising, when we look at the fact that there are more than eight billion humans in the world. It is possible that there has not been sufficient time to process the empirical evidence, given the exponential increase of the population in the last two hundred years – going from one billion to eight billion. I imagine that observing and examining such vast amounts of data to be very time-consuming. Also, not all results of examining the data have been made available to science, most notably by the method of pornographic content consumption.

Some general science and academia jokes. The academic paper structure for the final big joke. An exercise left for the reader. I nearly did a n=1 joke. Given the importance of our research question, I think it would be valuable to increase our sample size to ensure that our findings are robust and reliable. Sequel, anyone?

So much about volcanoes and mountains and hills and mounds and caves. I should have studied geology instead of computer science ;_;. (plot twist: I failed university)

I added one thing and didn't want it to go to waste, like the chocolate, so I added it to another part. Same with some other little details, like Minji's composure. That way I had a common thread (several, actually) running through the story.

Some smaller pop culture references to Lord of the Rings (VERY hard to spot), Attack on Titans, and of course Harry Potter (it's more than the movie title ;) the cum we lose in the chamber of secrets has a way to come back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect). I had given some thoughts about whether a potential reader should understand every reference I add, given that they also know the source media. My conclusion: No... I will giggle about my hidden jokes alone if I have to. Not everyone has to. Not everyone will. Even if they know the source media.

I also had some goals that I rarely see in male reader fics: "Minji needs to feel good, too." I had a big-ass note hovering over my draft all the time: "What's in it for Minji?" Add stuff about their antics. About what they love about each other.

They were obviously in an existing relationship. Some thoughts about how that came about (not really), how they lived, what their relationship was like before. I almost cried when I wrote the scene with the three words, some tears were already forming actually. It was not a conscious choice to place it that far back, but it did fit well.

A lot of things were a natural consequence, everything leads to the next thing. How do writers say? Have good characters, and the story will write itself. A good cause will lead to a good (and obvious) consequence. No idea if I have good characters, but it all worked out for me. It all feels natural. This is what counts. I'm happy with it.

Again, it was a lot of fun! The rush of adding things into the mixer and see it bloat into something beautiful is quite addicting. From the beginning I could not anticipate the end. It was quite a tremendous journey.

Sadly the following part did not make it - at least verbatim - I was unsatisfied of how much I was jumping from metaphor to metaphor, from one image to a completely different. Had to reduce.

Minji gulped down the snake all the way down, choking on it and feeling it throb at the back of her throat. The other end of the snake did not relent, however, and continued its attack, circling around her nub, unafraid of the secretions her cavern produced in defense, but now even more determined to continue.

I mean, where the fuck would a snake come from. So I changed it to the hare's tail. In hindsight, I maybe should have experimented with hare's paw / foot / whatever it is called in English. You know, the good luck charm.

So many messy thoughts.

Editing and revision makes everything perfect - or at the very least, better. Sometimes. Eventually. Maybe. Who knows? Perfectly fine.

---

Next up, the whopping numbers. These are far beyond the lowest expectations I would ever have for this work, especially given the niche nature of computer science and maths. I cannot say I had any doubts, since I did not expect anything in the first place. Until Tumblr started to summarize the followers for the day.

24h:

72h:

I cannot rationalize these numbers. I have no baseline to relate them to. I can only see: 'big' authors seem to have ~500-1000 notes on a work in days / weeks / months / years / decades. Very muddy numbers. No idea how Tumblr works, every author and every post has different numbers. And I have a fraction of that. In three rotations of the planet.

Thank.

You.

All.

Most of all.

Thank Minji.

Does it tell me it's any good? Who cares, I defined it as finished. I won't ever touch it again. A solution exists. I can go back to sleep.

Maybe it does tell me that some of you are nerds, though - and that I am not alone in being one. Uwu~.

Ok now I shall throw the stats into the bin. A surprise to be sure, a welcome one at that, too. But I intend to write for myself. More than incoherent dreams and thoughts. Ordered, sorted and well-thought out scenarios is a big step up for me. Not synthesized-up and randomized brainstorms. I have ChatGPT my brain for that.

Also rushing for stats make me sick, lol. I'm already engrossed enough with work and the sideways movement of the stock markets. I'm incapable of playing Rainbow Six due to the adrenaline.

---

I have started reading some fics again after those three weeks. And I notice. So. Many. Differences. To other people's work. It is actually a good thing. I don't have much moaning, no "I'm cumming". Way less dialogue, the only conscious difference I was aiming for. Lots of descriptions and images. Volcanoes and burning hot lava in mouths and vaginas, hahaha. Minji gets to be pleasured and cum. Heaven forbid no one think about her!

The world thrives on variety and diversity, so it is actually a good thing to show you guys another way to write smuts, albeit accidentally. Everyone brings something different to the table. We all love each other.

The world needs more breeding fics, especially of the fluffy and romantic variety.

---

Do I have something planned next? Maybe. No promises. How long it will take? Only heaven knows...

Peace, out! ✌️

#hello it's me #introduction #behind the scenes #an yujin coming soon? #only heaven knows #writing experiences #dreamcatcher smut #dreamcatcher fluff #writer thoughts #next smut teaser #kpop smut #kpop fluff

[chemist-ana]

The Planning

Summary- Everything is coming together for the biggest day of Anas life, and apparently one of the biggest events in New York. So why the rush?

Book- The Nanny Affair

Word Count- 3008

All characters belong to Pixelberry except for my OCs

Are you serious Ana?! How am I supposed to plan the most important wedding in New York since Sarah Jessica Parker and Mathew Broderick in 3 months!?” I can hear the panic in Justins, one of New York’s most sought after wedding planners, voice as he basically yells at me through the phone. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. 

“I know, and I’m sorry, but things have changed. Its why I chose you Justin, to pull off the impossible.” I knew that if I threw in a compliment it would do a little to help calm him down. I was the bride, wasn’t I supposed to be the dramatic one? I heard him take a deep breath. 

“Alright, let me make some calls, I will be in touch.” He hung up before I could answer him. I rolled my eyes and focused my attention to the endless stream of taxis, cars, and people outside hurrying home after a day at work. Things had changed. We needed to rush this wedding, because my father was going to walk me down that aisle. The Bentley pulled to a stop outside of our apartment building. Cliff, the doorman, opened the door with a smile. 

“Welcome home Ms. Schuyler.” 

“Thanks Cliff, have a good evening.” He tipped his hat at me as I walked into the lobby. My heals click against the marble floor as I walk to the private penthouse elevator. I hear the boys talking excitedly as soon as the elevator doors open into our foyer. I set my handbag down and remove my coat. I follow their voices into their bedroom and see them huddled around their 3D Printer. I decide to leave them to their project and follow the delicious smell of dinner into the kitchen. 

Ellen, our new nanny and house keeper, is standing over the stove. She looks up at me with a warm smile. 

“Good evening Ana.”

“Hey Ellen, whatever your cooking smells divine.” I grabbed a grape out of the fruit basket and opened the wine fridge, pulling out a bottle of Chateau Haut Brion Blanc. I poured myself a glass and immediately took a refreshing sip.  

“Thank you dear, it will be ready shortly.” She answers with a sincere smile. I pad across the oak floor into the master bedroom and stand at the floor to ceiling windows, looking out over central park. My mind wanders to my father, and my wedding day. Originally the plan was to get married next year, giving us time to get everything absolutely perfect, but with the news of my fathers diagnosis, things had changed. I wanted to fulfill the only childhood dream that I had about my wedding day, my father had to walk me down the aisle. After countless hours spent researching ALS time lines, I knew our window was closing, and closing fast. I took a sip of my wine and relished the taste. 

I am broken out of my thoughts by Sams cologne and his strong arms around my waist. He leans over and presses a kiss to my cheek. 

“Hello my beautiful fiancé.” I lean my head back onto his chest and give him a soft moan in response. “How was your day?” 

“Well things are progressing in the lab, but Justin was a little… well upset at our change of timeline for the wedding…” 

“Good thing we hired the best, I cannot wait to make you my wife.” Sams says seductively, as his hands travel down the sides of my waist and he grabs my hips, pulling them back to meet his. I turn around in his arms and thread my fingers behind his neck. I pull his face down to mine and we lose ourselves in an electrifying kiss. 

“To be continued Mr. Dalton.” I whisper against his lips. “Dinner is ready and I don’t want to be interrupted.” I press one last kiss to his lips and pull back with a smile. 

***

The sound of my phone buzzing on my nightstand at 6 AM wakes me up the next morning. I look at the screen: Justin. I groan as I sit up and swipe my finger across the screen. I put the phone to my ear and pinch the bridge of my nose.

“I didn’t know I was paying you to be my alarm clock too.” I said with a hint of sarcasm. 

“Well honey I didn’t get any sleep last night because SOMEONE needed to fast track the most important event in New York this year, and if I am going to pull this off, I need your opinion like yesterday.” I glance over beside me and notice that Sam is still asleep, that man can sleep through just about anything. 

“Give me a moment Justin.” I climb out of bed and make my way into Sams office, flipping on the Tiffany lamp on his desk and sitting down in his Wegner chair. “Alright, I’m here.”

“So I was able to keep your rehearsal dinner at Tavern on the Green. But we ran into a couple hiccups with the venue. After literally hours on the phone I was able to convince 620 Loft and Garden that your wedding was more important then hosting a fundraiser for lost puppies, so we are a go there too.” My eyes settled on a photo of Sam and I on his desk. It was from our vacation to the Maldives when he proposed. I had completely tuned Justin out, admiring the happiness on our faces. I was looking at him like he was my entire world, and he really was. “My dear do you have your dress yet?” I’m snapped back into the present at his question. “Ana- I am judging by your silence that its a big N-O. My god what am I going to do with you? I will call Kleinfelds and get you in today.” 

“Justin today really isn’t a good day-“

“Ana! If you want the designer dress to go with your designer wedding then the designer needs time. True masterpieces take time. I will make your appointment for tomorrow only because you asked so nicely.” I roll my eyes at his remark and lean back in the chair. “Also- you need to talk to your future hubby about cake tastings and guest lists. We absolutely need to get these invites out this week if you want anyone to show up to your wedding.”

“Sam wants to take care of all the transportation and hotels for our guests, but I will finalize our lists with him today. And talk to him about cake tastings. Can I go back to bed now?” 

“Yes yes get your beauty sleep, and call me when you have that list finalized.I will text you soon with your dress appointment time. Ciao Bella.” He hangs up the phone without another word. I shake my head with a sigh and walk back into our bedroom. I straddle Sams hips and lean down to press a sweet kiss to his full lips. 

“Good morning handsome.” I whisper letting my lips graze the shell of his ear. He blinks awake and smiles.

“Good morning beautiful, I will never get tired of waking up like this.” He grabs my hips and gives them a soft squeeze. 

“So Justin just called, we need to finalize our guest list for the wedding.” 

“What time is it? Does this man have any boundaries?” He drops his hands from my hips and laces his fingers behind his head exposing his strong chest. 

“Well its like you said, we hired the best, and we actually want people to show up, so we need to give them at least a little notice.” I lay down next to him facing him, god his profile is just perfection. “Have you talked to Robin yet?” 

He sighs and runs his hands down his face. “No, we have just kept it professional at the office, he hasn’t even congratulated me yet for our engagement or my promotion.”

“Sam, for better or worse he’s still family. I won’t push you to reconcile with him, but I think you should. Maybe he’s just waiting for an invitation to our wedding.”

He turns to face me, reaches his hand up to my cheek, and runs his thumb across my lower lip. “I will talk to him today.” 

My phone buzzes on the nightstand 

Kleinfelds 10 AM tomorrow- I texted your mother, Vivian, Jenny, and Monica. DON’T BE LATE!

“Well I have no doubt that Justin is the best, he got me into Kleinfelds tomorrow, looks like I am going dress shopping.”

***

The ding of the elevator tells me Sam is home. I glanced at the clock on my laptop, 5:15. He’s home early. I had to go over the final list with him, we had finally gotten our list down to 150 guests, hopefully he had talked to Robin. 

“Where is the beautiful future Mrs. Dalton?” A familiar voice rang out through the apartment. Robin walked into the living room seconds later with a smile on his face. “There you are.” He walked over to me on the couch. I had just enough time to place my laptop next to me on the couch before he grabbed my hand and pulled me up and into a big hug. I look over his shoulder as Sam walks into the room and I give him a confused look. 

“Robin can you please let her go.” Sam says with annoyance. Robin unwraps his arms and holds me at arms distance. 

“Sorry bro, just welcoming Ana here into the family, something I have wanted to do for months now.” He says tipping his head towards Sam who is standing behind him. “I really am excited to have a sister.” He looks me in the eyes and gives me a genuine smile. 

“Hi Robin, so it looks like you two talked?” I say looking at Sam. Robin drops his arms from my shoulders, walks over to Sam and claps him on the back.

“We worked everything out. Sam even asked me to be his best man.” I widen my eyes in surprise. “Anyone want a beer?” Robin disappears into the kitchen and Sam walks up to me. He presses his lips to mine in a quick kiss. 

“We will talk later, but now I need to go make sure he doesn’t clean out our bar.” I grab my laptop and follow Sam into the kitchen. 

“So Robin, should I add a plus one to your RSVP?” Robin pauses before putting a grape into his mouth. 

“Are you kidding? And miss out on all the fine ass ladies you are inviting to this party? Not a chance.” He takes a swig of his beer. “Plus, someone needs to live the playboy life if this guys decided to tap out.” He gestures at Sam with his beer bottle. 

“I am going to pretend you didn’t just tell me you want to hook up with all of my friends at my wedding and just say no on the plus one. Sam can you look this list over and confirm your side? I need to get these names to Justin.” I hand Sam my laptop and he focuses on the screen. 

“Hey Ana, by the way, I heard about your pops, I really am sorry.” Robin walks over and rests a hand on my shoulder and gives it a soft squeeze. I take a deep breath. 

“Thanks Robin.”I give him a sincere smile even though it felt like my heart was shattering.

“Looks good to me Ana, let’s send it out.” Sam hands me back my laptop. I sit down at the bar and breathe a big sigh of relief when the email goes out. 

***

Walking into Kleinfelds felt like I was walking into a fairytale. The most beautiful dresses everywhere I turned. I was already feeling overwhelmed.

“I am so sorry I’m late!” I said to the consultant. She had a friendly smile and her name tag read Francine. 

“Honey, this is your day, no need to apologize, let’s find you THE dress. The rest of the ladies are already here, let’s go find them and discuss what you are looking for.” She lead me to one of the show rooms. I see my mother and Vivian on one side of the room, and Monica and Jenny on the other. I hear a loud squeal as Monica turns around and sees me. 

“Ana!!!!” She runs over and squeezes me in a breathtaking hug. “Girl you told me your fiancé was rich, but I didn’t realize he was drop-everything-get-in-this-private-jet rich. I literally flew here on a private jet.” She whispers into my ear. She lets me go and holds me at arms length. I have to remember to thank Sam for getting her here.  

“I’m so happy you’re here Moni.” I bring her in for another hug. 

“Me too, honey, me too. Now let’s find your dress, I over heard Francine saying that she spoke to Sam and money isn’t an object. Jenny and I think we found you the perfect dress.” She grabs my hand and pulls me away from Francine. I look back at her with an apologetic look and she gives me a warm smile. 

“Go ahead, look, pull your favorites, and we will revisit in a few minutes.” She calls after me. 

Jenny greets me with a kiss on the cheek and a hug.

“Ana, look at this one, it’s a Pnina Tornai. This is your dress.” She shows me a long sleeve lace and satin mermaid dress with a plunging neckline. “This is perfect for you.” 

Francine walks up from behind me and grabs the dress out of Jennys hands. 

“I will put this in the fitting room Ana. Let’s get everyone together and have a little chat yeah?” She gives me a wink and I internally thank her. This is overwhelming enough as it is. After I give my mother and Vivian a quick hug we all gather together on the white couch. I glance over at my mother and Vivian, ever since my parents had moved to New York a month ago, they had hit it off. My mother looked at me and gave me a smile, I could see the tears building in the corners of her eyes. 

“So Jenny tells me that Sam has a yummy single brother?” Monica whispers in my ear. I raise my eyebrow as I look over at her. 

“Moni he is a total playboy, I wouldn’t if I were you.” She shrugs her shoulders and we turn our attention back to Francine as she begins talking. 

“Alright Ana, today is a big day! We have some champagne here for you” she gestures at the coffee table in front of us. “My first question is, do you know what kind of dress you are looking for?” 

I swipe a glass of champagne and take a big sip. Honestly I had not found the time to even start looking at dresses. She took my silence as a no. She gave me an encouraging smile.

“Well come back with me and we will start with a few different styles and see if we can narrow it down.” I stood up from the couch and followed her into a large dressing room. The first dress she had me try on was a ball gown. I felt like a princess, but it just wasn’t the one. I didn’t even bother showing it to my ‘squad’ as Francine had so lovingly called them. The next dress was an a-line. 

I walked out onto the show room floor and my mothers tears began to fall. 

“Oh honey, you look so beautiful.” Vivian handed her a tissue as my mother fanned her face. 

“Its beautiful, but is it really the one?” Jenny cocked her eyebrow at me. I turned and looked at myself in the mirror, I knew it wasn’t the dress I wanted Sam to see me in walking down the aisle. I looked at Francine and shook my head and followed her back into the dressing room. 

“Can I try on the dress that Jenny and Monica picked out?” I asked Francine as I lightly touched the sheer fabric on the sleeve. 

“As if you need to ask, of course. It really is a beautiful dress, it’s going to hug those beautiful curves of yours.” She laces me up after I step into it the soft silk caressing my skin. I step out of the dressing room and walk up onto the platform. Everyone stops talking as soon as I enter the room. I turn around to face the mirror. 

The top had a plunging neckline that dropped almost to my belly button and had a tan material behind the lace at the top. The dress hugged my waist and thighs and it was elegant, but sexy. I felt like a million bucks.

“He would love this.” I say under my breath. 

“This is the one.” Jenny said. “It looks like it was made for your body.” 

“Sam won’t be able to take his eyes off of you.” Monica chimed.

“Ana, you look absolutely beautiful.” Vivian said softly. 

“Here.” Francine said and clipped a beautiful veil into my hair that matched the dress perfectly. She spread it across my shoulders. In that moment I could picture it all, walking down the aisle and Sams smile. 

“Mom?” I turned around to look at her, she was the only one who hadn’t said anything. She had pulled another tissue out of the box on the table and was blotting at her eyes. “You look like a movie star sweetie, so grown up. You are stunning.” 

“Do you think it’s the one?” I said tears starting to fall from my eyes.

“Yes.” They all said in unison. 

I looked at Francine. “This is it.” There wasn’t a doubt in my mind. 

Chapter 5: The Emotions

Tag list @secretaryunpaid @lifeaskim 

#tna #choicestna #choices fanfiction #choices #choices the stories you play #tnasam #fanfic #wedding

[loveisblindfanfictionbka]

Love Is Blind: Chapter Two

A: You know it really just sounds like your sister really cares about you

C: She does but she’s making this such a bigger deal than it needs to be. I just want to be able to sort my feelings out without feeling like I’m obligated to do something with them immediately

A: I know that feeling so well. My friend asked me if I was still in love with my ex and I don’t know how to answer her

C: I mean your relationship was unfinished so I could understand the possibility. No closure makes it feel like things never ended. They just stopped

A: you put it in much better words than I ever could. 

C: Coming from an emotionally challenged man, sometimes the right thing doesn’t always feel right at the time. It hurts. Caring about anyone comes with that risk but sometimes you have to see it from their side before you can heal. People tend to enter situations expecting others to be like them and we hurt ourselves by doing that. Your ex may have loved you but he didn’t know how to love you anymore and felt it was better to let you go than ruin you. It couldn’t have been easy for you to watch him struggle

A: No but I felt like he never gave me a chance to help

C: People don’t always want to be fixed. Being damaged may have been too comfortable for him

A: I wish I could’ve known if it was. He never really talked to me. I think something happened that he couldn't deal with it and he shut me out because of it

C: thats always possible especially if he wasn’t like that before

A: You ever think about getting into another relationship?

C:Thought about it? Sure but I think I only got enough love in me to take care of my daughter. I haven’t quite rebounded back either.

A: Did you and your ex-wife have the child together?

C: No, I”m in the process of fostering and adopting. I got Anesa when she was one years old

A: That is so cool.

C: You ever consider having a child?

A: It was a part of the plan when I was married but we never quite made it that far

C: Same here but there’s always alternatives

A: I’ll think about it. I am getting up there in age

C: If from any indication of your photo, you’d have no problems. Many women are having babies at your age

A: Why thank you for the ego boost

C: You ever consider dating again?

A: No. I think I am way too damaged to not ruin somebody else

C: Ah, I know the feeling

A: You’re a good listener, Chris

C: Thanks. You too. So what’s your night looking like?

A: A movie and a glass of wine. You?

C: Grading papers

A: for a music class?

C: They still have to do research papers for me. Allows me to gage how they grasp concepts and detect their style

A: Hmm...that’s interesting

C: Part of my class is songwriting and music composition, at least a basic level teaching of both. I have separate sections that go into each more in depth but only a few students are selected to be invited to take those classes. This is my main selection pool outside of those who audition

A: that sounds extensive

C: it can be but I like it

A: Do you only teach major classes or can students take you as an elective?

C: They can take me as an elective but most end up dropping the class by the second week

A: Really? Why?

C: It’s more work than they intended to do in an elective especially if you’re like a business or science major. It’s not exactly contributing to anything but your credit requirement 

A: True. I can understand that

C: Anna?

A: Yes?

C: You ever think about us meeting one day?

A: I’ve considered but I don’t know if I wanna ruin the mystery of you, yet. You?

C: Same lol

A; Well I got some wine and a movie to get to and I’ll leave you to your papers. Have a good night

C: You too

Robyn logged off and pressed her head into her pillow. Was it weird for her to start to like this guy? Honestly, they’ve never met so she wouldn’t know him from a hole in the wall yet she feels close to him like they’ve been friends forever. The fact he didn’t turn away when she started talking about her ex and even tried to help her understand some things was really deep for her. Her friends and family had tried but so much of what they said just seemed so biased and sympathy-ridden for her ex. Like where’s her sympathy? Did nobody care about how he acted affected her? Somehow Chris understood her and it was the craziest thing.

Chris turned to the next paper for one of his students and after a few moments acknowledged his mind was with Anna and not on his work. He could sympathize with her struggle to move on and the fact that she was probably still in love with her ex. He didn’t hate his but he was too damaged to love her like she deserved. A part of him hates that he wasn’t man enough to tell her that when he left. She probably had a hole in her just like Anna or maybe she had moved on just fine. It’s not fair to project his life onto her.

“Daddy, are you going to sleep soon?”

Chris turned to see Anesa standing in the doorway of the kitchen with her teddy bear in her arms. He opened his arms and she climbed into his lap, “Hey Love Bug, what you doing up?”

“It’s raining.”

Chris glanced over at the window and nodded his agreement, “you got scared, huh?”

“Yea.”

“Well there’s nothing to worry about, Daddy’s right here.”

“Daddy, am I ever gonna get a mommy?”

“Well Sweetheart, that’s a very complicated question.”

“Is it?”

“Yea, see I don't’ know if I wanna share you with anybody else.”

Anesa giggled, “well if I can share you, you think you can share me?”

“I’d have to think about it really hard. Is that something you’re nervous about?”

“I just don’t want you to be all alone.”

“I know, Love Bug but I’ll be just fine.”

“Auntie Jessica said you were married before.”

“I was.”

“What happened to her? Did she die?”

“No. Things just didn’t work out. I wasn’t exactly the right guy for her.”

“Oh. So she left?”

“No, I did but I really thought it was the best thing to do at the time.”

“Do you miss her?”

Chris sighed as he leaned his chin on the top of her head, “sometimes I do. Sometimes I do.”

“Does it make you sad?”

“It can but I’ve learned to deal with it.”

“Do you think you’d ever go back to her?”

“I don’t think that would be the right thing to do either.”

“Oh.”

“You sound so sad, Honey.”

“I’m sad for you, Daddy.”

“Why? I’m happy. I’m exactly where I want to be. Here with my Love Bug and my work. Daddy’s just fine.”

Anesa turned and hugged him as Chris blew out a breath over her shoulder.

                                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robyn washed her hands then sat down in her office. She had steady appointments all day, luckily mostly check ups but she was still tired. Being the head vet and the owner and shelter organizer always took a toll on her body. She twisted her neck from side to side to relieve some tension just as her office door opened, “Hi Beverly.”

Beverly, her trusty assistant, was always ready to rain on her parade, “Ms. Fenty, we just received a really huge invitation in the mail.”

“We?”

“Well you but you know what I mean.”

“What is it for?”

“The New York Society Charity Awards Gala. They want to recognize the shelter for its success.”

“That’s nice. Tell Ashley to go in my place.”

“Wait. What?”

“I don’t feel like rubbing elbows with the rich, that’s Ashley’s forte, let her do it.”

“Fenty, this is a huge opportunity for donations and connections. You cannot send your shelter manager in your place.”

“Why can’t I? She’s dealt with these people before. She even knows most of them. She has an Ivy League Degree, why can’t she go in my place?”

“The award is for you.”

“So?”

“Robyn, you can’t be serious.”

“I am in no condition to be bothered with anyone.”

“The gala isn’t for another month, you can’t muster up some give a fuck in a month.”

Robyn glared at Beverly, who simply folded her arms across her chest in response, “I’m not doing this.”

“You are doing this. I will schedule your appointment with your stylists for fittings and hair tryouts. We’ll see about getting you an escort and get a speech written for you.”

“I’m not going, Beverly.”

“You will go even if I have to get your entire family from Barbados to make you. This is a perfect opportunity and you will not squander it being anti-social.”

“Get out of my office, Beverly.”

“I will add the appropriate appointments to your calendar. Your 2:30 appointment canceled so you’re free until 4.”

Beverly promptly walked out of her office and Robyn tossed her head down on her desk. She couldn’t do this. She hadn’t been to an event like this since she was married to Chris. He’s a well-known architect and had a hand in a lot of buildings in the city. The circles aren’t that large in this tax bracket so she’s sure to run into people she knew back in California. She wasn’t ready for the questions and the stares if she showed up and especially if she showed up with someone else. They had kept their divorce quiet for several reasons mainly because she didn’t want to be embarrassed. Robyn Fenty, veterinarian extraordinaire, can’t even keep her marriage together. Some of those people would be colleagues, alumnus of her alma mater, people who whispered that once Chris got a taste of the good life, he wouldn’t stay with his middle school girlfriend long. Sadly, they were right. They barely made it three years before he walked out. She wasn’t going to this gala.

C: I really think you should attend. It’s for business.

A: It’s business that I don’t want anything to do with. I have associates specifically for things like this

C: Why is it so bad for you to go?

A: These parties always have people I knew back when I was married. Many of them don't know I’m divorced

C: Well people get divorced all the time

A: Yea but they normally don't have to be around the same people who said it wouldn’t last

C: Anna, you can’t be embarrassed about something so common.Things happens

A: That’s easy to say

C: Besides I would love to see a photo of you in your gown

A: Lol, is that the real reason you want me to go?

C: Well considering we aren’t meeting anytime soon, it’d be nice to see

A: it wouldn’t be a face shot.

C: Not changing anything for me

A: I mean I could just get dressed, post the picture and you’d be none the wiser

C: You could but I sense you’re a little too honest for that

A: Lol, I’ll take that as a compliment

C: Good, because I meant it as one

A: lol

C: are you writing lol because you’re actually laughing or because you’re smiling?

A: both

C: they do make emojis

A: Yea but I feel silly using them

C: Ah, I guess

A:You know what, I will go to the gala if you agree to go on a virtual outing with me

C: Like VR

A: More like a video meet up but no cameras

C: Just voices?

A: automated voices

C: you really wanna hold onto this mystery thing, huh?

A: I feel so comfortable with you, probably because I don’t know you but I feel like once you remove the mystery, shit gets too real

C: That’s a good rationale. How about this, my job has some assistance programs that can do text to speech. I can send you a few options, you choose one, we pick a date and we have our little blind date so to speak

A: you would do that for me?

C: Absolutely. I really like you, Anna

A: I like you too, Chris

“So you really like him but you won’t go on a real date with him?” Melissa asked.

“Mel, if I do that then this becomes way more than what it is.”

“Which is?”

“Two people just getting to know each other.”

“Without having to really know each other. You haven’t told this man your real name.”

“Because it doesn’t matter. That’s what I like most. The little things don’t matter.”

“So if he was using a fake name too, it wouldn’t bother you.”

“No. He’s not obligated to give me anything he doesn’t want to.”

“You are petrified of commitment.”

“I’ve been hurt enough, I don’t want to go through that again.”

“And you think by withholding basic information yet spending time with this man will prevent that.”

“The longer he remains a stranger, the easier it will be to walk away. I’m not looking for love or to move on. Just a new friend,” Robyn replied as she held a dress up to her body, “what do you think?”

“It’s nice. You really want to go long sleeves for this?”

“Either that or get a nice jacket. It gets cold at these things.”

“That’s true. So who’s your escort?”

“Nobody. I told Beverly that I’d go but I am not taking anybody with me.”

“Not even me?”

“Do you want to go? I can send in for a plus one.”

“Not really but it was nice you offered.”

“You sure Sis?”

“Very sure. I got a boyfriend to do things with on the weekends so I’ll be busy.”

“Oh rub it in. How is Juan anyway?”

“He is good. We were thinking about doing a friendcation next month. Go back to PR to see his family.”

“Oh that’s nice. I’m sure Lele and you will have a great time.”

“You wouldn’t come?”

“No. Hard pass.”

“I’m really tired of you ducking us, it’s not like we’re gonna fix you up on a blind date or something.”

“I know but I also don’t want to be the fifth wheel. No thank you.”

Melissa sighed, “I guess. Maybe if you’d get your life right with this new Chris, you could bring him.”

“I don’t want to meet him, Mel”

“I really don’t understand why not, y’all seem to have great chemistry.”

“Yea but I really just wanna leave it at that. I’m too fragile for anything more.”

“Have you ever thought to talk to your ex-husband?”

“Why? So he can make me feel even worse?”

“Or maybe so you can heal. Robyn, y’all had a really abrupt situation. You both were in a bad space. Maybe you just need to talk things out so you can move on.”

“Why do y’all coddle him so much? Why is it nobody’s mad at him but me?”

“Because we love both of you. Clearly, neither of you were in your right minds. Nobody thought you should've gotten divorced but neither of you were happy.”

“I did not want one. He wanted out and nobody seems to be lying that at his doorstep. It’s almost like you know something that I don’t.”

“Robs, that is most definitely not the case. We just don’t think being mad at anyone is gonna solve anything. Chris was hurting, from what we don’t know, but we all knew something wasn’t right with him. You were hurting, we all knew that too. Neither of you needed the extra weight of anyone else’s judgment.”

“It doesn’t feel very neutral.”

“Because you don’t want neutral, you want us to pick sides and that’s not gonna get any of us anywhere.”

“Well have you spoken to him?”

“We texted a few months ago but that was it.”

“Oh.”

“Do you wanna see him?”

“No because I’m still angry. Seven years later and I’m still fucking pissed. Seeing him would do me no good.”

“Robs, I think it might.”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m thinking the navy blue, what about you?’

Melissa sighed, “I love it.”

“Great.”

Robyn grabbed the dress and headed to the cash register.

#loveisblindfanfiction #chrianna

[alj4890]

Angst Prompt

This was a request from Anonymous to see how my OC does when the only two men she fell for, (Maxwell Beaumont and Thomas Hunt) have both fallen for someone else.

A/N Seems odd not to put my OC in a pair, so let's just claim the usual pairs of characters from the following Choices books: The Royal Romance, Red Carpet Diaries, and Perfect Match. I thought I would try something new and write it in first person. We’ll see how it goes. I know there are a ton of sentence fragments in this. It is on purpose. I thought it fit how her jumble of thoughts might go.

@lxaah11​ @alleksa16​ @penguininapinktuxedo​ @blackcoffee85​ @moodyvalentinestories​​ @stopforamoment​@krsnlove​   @annekebbphotography​  @cora-nova​  @hopelessromantic1352​. @sunflowergirl05​ @desiree-0816​ @greywitchyshots​ @lilyofchoices​ @emceesynonymroll @dr-nancy-house @aworldoffandoms @ab1901 @pixieferry​​

Masterlist

Song Inspiration: You Don't Know Me

You Don't Know

Just one night. That's all I have to get through is one single night. I can do this. I've done it before...just not with both failures present.

It won't be easy. Who am I kidding? It will be the hardest few hours of my life. There's no escape from this.

I had to have the bright idea to host a holiday party.

I have to hide the fact that I am nothing but a hollow shell with shattered glass inside, waiting for the moment when I am allowed to crumble to the floor.

How have I not collapsed? Am I numb? I should feel something, shouldn't I? What if I only feel it when I see them? What if I break completely when I have to take their hands?

"I can't do it." I say to my reflection. My hands move as if they have a mind of their own to straighten my dress. I wish I could curl up in a ball on the floor and let the pain finish breaking me in half. Maybe if that happens, I won't feel anything ever again.

I can't be angry. It isn't their fault. They have no clue. No idea. I never told them. Never hinted. Never gave one single flirtatious look or suggeative touch. No, I purposely kept all that hidden.

I created my own prison, one where certain words are barred from leaving my lips. There is no nor ever was a revelation to what is in my heart. My mind. I did this. To me. To them.

I am what no one wants to be when deeply in love. I am the friend.

A knock at my door forces me to turn on the happy charm. "Come in."

"Guests have begun to arrive, your grace." My butler announces. His eyes seem to linger on mine. Does he know or simply suspect?

"Thank you Hudson." I smooth my damp palms down my dark blue gown. Quite fitting that my house colors are shades of sadness and lost dreams.

Why didn't I say something? Perhaps then...

There I go again, dreaming the impossible dream. They wouldn't have loved me like that. Not me.

Every step I take brings me closer to the stage where I must give my most convincing act. I must do it well. No one has yet to realize what I keep hidden. I look around and take my spot near the double doors leading into my ballroom.

Time to speak the expected words. It is my lot in life. The ever smiling duchess is ready to perform her role once more.

"I am so happy you were able to join me this evening."

"Your gown is exquisite!"

"Lovely to see you again."

"Please enjoy yourselves."

And on. And on. And on.

The pretending to be happy in having company in my home is unbearable. If they only knew how much I want to be alone. I want wallow in my heartache. Stare hopelessly out the window. Sleep.

My nerves are right at the breaking point. They will soon arrive and I will have to summon every ounce of my strength to smile happily. Laugh. Talk of how wonderful life is.

I hate this. I don't want to be the friend. I don't want to keep the facade up that I am fine and dandy with everything. I'm not! Shouldn't I be allowed to express this?!

"There's our favorite duchess!"

My first love. I look into Maxwell's deep, ocean blue eyes and feel that familiar sensation in my stomach that you get when going upside down. His dimpled smile is filled with joy at the sight of me.

Why didn't you feel something special for me? Why did you tell everyone that I was your best friend? That there were times you forgot I wasn't just one of the guys?

I smile warmly. I must say the proper words. "Good evening Lord and Lady Beaumont. It has been much too long since you were here." There. I did it. I should receive a reprieve for such composure.

"Formal huh?" Maxwell teases. "Well Lady Beaumont, shall we give her the news or make her wait?"

I turn to look at the one who holds the name I once dreamed of having. It's amazing how you can both love and hate someone at the same time. The hatred in this case has subsided some as time went by. Nadia is a genuinely sweet person and she loves Maxwell with every fiber of her being.

Shouldn't that be enough for me? To see the man I love be with someone who practically worships the ground he walks on, shouldn't I feel a sense of satisfaction in that? I don't know. Maybe.

Still...I wish it could have been me.

"Of course we tell our best friend!" Nadia exclaims. Her beautiful smile is practically glowing.

"What news?" I manage to ask with a delighted anticipation that I do not feel. Dread is more like it.

"We're pregnant!" They say at the same time.

I freeze. Pregnant. She is pregnant with my once perfect match's baby. "How wonderful!" I exclaim, hugging the woman who won my lost love.

Maxwell pulls me into a tight embrace. "If it's a girl, I want to name her Amanda."

So there will be an Amanda Beaumont in the world. I force myself to smile. "You're going to make me cry with talk like that." Ha! If they only knew how true that statement was.

Nadia hugs me again. "We will let you get back to hostess duties. I just couldn't wait to tell you!" They wave as they enter the ballroom.

I try and steady my breathing. I need all my wits about me. My childhood crush and love is completely and irrevocably gone. But the love I have for another, one born as an adult, has yet to arrive.

How hard did I fall in love with him? When compared to Maxwell, he is the exact opposite in terms of personality. He's serious, very dry sense of humor, rarely speaks especially to people he doesn't care for. He's passionate and intense, yet can be calm and collected.

Everything about him attracts what is deep within me. My heart yearned for him, still yearns for him to see me in a different light. So often I thought that perhaps he felt that emotional current that seemed to be between us, a current that could either be turned off or come to life with a single spark.

Why didn't he notice me? Why doesn't he see the love I have for him?

"Welcome to St Orella." I say to another group of nobles.

And then he comes in. My eyes, against my will drift down, taking in how handsome he is in a tux.

Then I see the woman on his arm.

Jessica Clark. Movie star on the rise. Young, Beautiful. Eager to please. Undiscovered depths of talent. And now the love of Thomas Hunt's life.

"Amanda," Thomas takes my hand, squeezing it affectionately. "It has been too long since last we met."

"Yes it has." There's a perfectly good reason for my avoiding him. I didn't want to witness his falling more and more in love with Jessica. I have to have some sort of self preservation.

"Welcome to St Orella, Ms. Clark." I choke out.

She laughs one of those tinkling like bells laughs. "Please, call me Jessica." Her smile is wide and friendly toward me. "Thomas has told me so much about you and your home."

I make myself smile and nod somewhat. "I'm glad you were able to come with him." As she responds, I notice something that fills me with even more heartache. Is that what I think it is?

Thomas notices where my attention is. His lips curve as he meets Jessica's eyes. "I know we said we would wait. Do you mind my telling her?"

No...this isn't happening! Not after hearing that Maxwell will be a father. Surely the merciful God in heaven would not let Thomas say--

"Jessica and I are engaged to be married." Thomas announces. "She accepted my proposal while we were in Hawaii."

"Oh!" Quick, think of something to add to that exclamation. "That's wonderful! I am thrilled for you both."

No. Don't. Please. Don't kiss my--

My eyes close as I feel Thomas kiss my cheek. How often have I dreamed of him kissing me in a lover like fashion? The feel of his firm lips and brush of stubble against my cheek sends goosebumps over my skin. There is no passion in his touch. Just simple friendship.

Jessica pulls him close for a brief heated kiss once he is back where he will be from now on...by her side.

I try and keep the tears from falling that suddenly blur my vision. Thomas never wanted me. Not like that. Not ever. Why would he think anything of me? I'm plain. Unexciting. There's nothing special or extradionary about me. I'm simply his friend and a geographically distant one at that.

"Congratulations." I say, pressing a kiss to his cheek and squeezing Jessica's hand. "If you will excuse me, I must greet some others that have arrived."

They smile and ask me to come find them later.

I briefly nod while watching them walk away from me.

And that's it. This is how my life will be from now on.

I am the friend that will cuddle Maxwell and Nadia's baby while the stray thought that this could have been my life comes to mind. I will imagine the holidays we would have spent with our baby and others that follow. Then I will snap out of it and return to my solitary existence.

I will be the friend that cries silently while keeping a smile on my lips as I watch Thomas marry Jessica in a beautiful sunset ceremony. My dreams at night will be me in the white gown before him, only to then wake to the lonely truth.

I will be the friend who returns to her empty house. Unloved. Unwanted. Heart shattered completely. For the rest of my life I will be tortured with the question: What if I had told him?

I did this.

I chose to keep my feelings a secret.

No one knows.

No one ever will.

#choices maxwell beaumont #choices thomas hunt #pure angst #angst prompt

[fluffy-marshmallow-heart]

Secret Studies ch.15 -The Beast Returns

The Elementalist au

Beckett x MC (Oriana)

Words: 2947

Warnings: NSFW

Master List (Catch Up here)

Classes resume at Penderghast

Classes resumed, and Beckett and Oriana were walking to their first one hand in hand. Neither were talking, just enjoying the comfortable silence between them, watching the other students bustle to and from buildings. Sometimes they would catch glimpses of surprise when others saw them together, news had traveled fast about their so-called breakup, even though it never officially happened.

“Why are people so surprised we made up? We weren’t even separated that long.” Beckett murmured in Oriana’s ear.

She giggled. “Maybe they’re jealous that you’re still with me, because they wanted to date you themselves.”

  Beckett’s face flushed, an Oriana laughed. “I’m kidding. Sort of. Honestly, I’m pretty sure I know who was behind the rumor. And I’m also sure he’s been set straight.”

Arriving at their destination, they took their normal seats together in the class. As the lecture began and they started creating new potions, he saw her struggling.

“Here, let me help.” He offered, quickly moving behind her and sliding his arms down hers until they reached her hands, then started guiding her movements with the correct vials and amounts needed. He was pressed into her, and whispered in her ear, “I can always give you private lessons.”

“Mr. Harrington, I appreciate your wanting to assist Ms. Miller with her potion, however, I do not see the need for you to be directly behind her. Please move back to your own work, and Ms. Miller, if you need help, please see me.” A sharp voice rang out.

Snickers from their classmates passed through the room, and Beckett felt the tips of his ears turning bright red.

“Sorry, professor.” He mumbled, as Oriana leaned into him murmuring. “I can definitely use some hands-on assistance, Mr. Harrington. Do you think you can fulfill my needs?”

“Oh my…”

She chuckled as she saw his entire body blush, and his thoughts raced with how he can get her alone at that moment. Very unfortunately, they would not get a single moment to themselves that entire day.

They met back in the quad after their last respective classes, and as Beckett leaned in to kiss his girlfriend, his phone rang. He grumbled when he looked at the screen and saw who it was. He gave Oriana an apologetic look as he answered.

“Hello, mother. To what do I owe this pleasure?” He asked sarcastically. He still had not forgiven her for the rift she had created, and how horrible she had treated Oriana.

“I need you home for dinner tonight. Come now.”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s the first day of classes, I’m having dinner in the dining hall with my friends.”

“You mean with that trash you call a girlfriend.”

“Mother!” he scolded, and Oriana knew immediately where their conversation was turning. She cast her eyes downward, but Beckett reached for her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. She gave him a grateful smile and his heart fluttered. It took him a beat to realize his mother was still talking.

“I said no. I’m staying here for dinner.”

“Beckett Harrington, you come home this instant. We need to discuss your future and where you think it’s going and where it should be going instead.”

“I known exactly where it’s going” He gritted out.

“Home. Now. End of discussion.” The phone clicked in his ear as she hung up on him.

He sighed, running a hand through his sandy hair. “I’m sorry, Ori. I just won’t go. I want to have dinner with all of you tonight, and she has no right...”

“You should go.” Oriana cut in.

Beckett’s eyebrows shot up. “What? Why?”

Oriana wrapped both her arms around his waist and gazed up at him. “Because she’s still your mother. It’s perhaps a bit unfortunate but…still your mother.”

His heart soared, and he pulled her tightly to him. “You are amazing, did you know that? This is why I love you.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’m still not going.”

She laughed, pulling away. “I can come if you like. Just say the words.”

He shook his head almost violently. “No. No way. I am not putting you through that again.”

She rolled her eyes. “Beck, I’m not going anywhere, and she needs to get used to me. And I need to get used to her.”

“Still not happening.” He said gently. “At least, not tonight. I’ll go but…please stay here with our friends and enjoy yourself. That’s what I want for you.”

“Our friends, huh? Well look at you, Mr. Popularity. Going from having no one to a serious girlfriend and real, actual friends that care about you…and gasp! You care about them!”

“Yeah, yeah.” He mumbled as his cheeks turned pink. “I blame you.”

“Good. You should.” She smirked. “Find me when you’re back, okay?”

He gave her a half-hearted smile. “Of course.”

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him soft and sweet before pulling away. “I love you. See you later. Maybe even with our friends.” She was laughing lightly as she walked away, and Beckett shook his head, smiling. He knows she’s never going to let him live this down, the day he confessed he has friends. This girl has changed his life in so many ways.

Pulling into the long driveway that twisted its way up to Beckett’s house, dread kept coursing through him. This is not going to be easy.

Stepping inside, he found his mother already waiting for him at the dinner table.

“It’s about time.” She snapped. “You certainly took your time getting here.”

He took a deep, calming breath, and fumbled in his pocket for the worry stone Oriana had given him, finding relief as his fingers brushed against it.

“I was busy.” He responded, walking over and sitting down.

“You most certainly were not. Your last class ended a bit ago. You should have arrived much sooner than this. Your dinner may be cold now. I ate mine while it was being served promptly at the dinner hour.”

“What do you want, mother?”

“We need to discuss your future. Now, I have taken the liberty of collecting several catalogs for graduate programs, both at Penderghast and other universities nearby. You will of course stay nearby, that simply goes without question. Now, for this one, they have a fabulous architecture program that…”

“Isn’t it a bit soon to be discussing this?” he asked. “I’m an undergraduate freshman.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Now is the perfect time. If you spare yourself for that…girl…what was her name…Jessica?”

“Oriana.”

“Whatever dear, it makes no difference to me. Once you decide on a program to proceed with your undergraduate studies, that will lead into your graduate studies, you no longer will have time to be gallivanting about with her. I understand the immediate sexual gratification she may supply, but there are plenty of others who could help you with this, who will not get in your way while…”

“Mother!!” He exclaimed, completely embarrassed. “Why on earth would you say that?”

She blinked. “Well, clearly that’s what the two of you have in common, no? You have fantasies and desires that need to be met, and like a good little whore she fulfills them. Now back to…”

“You take that back.” He growled.

“I most certainly will not take back the truth. I’m aware of her financial situation and cozying up with a Harrington would be quite ideal for her. So, she becomes your whore, pretending her feelings are genuine, lets you pay for everything, and then she will become pregnant and take everything you have. Everything this family has. I will not allow it. This ends now. I thought you two had broken up, but she was able to secure you safely back in her clutches.”

“How did you know that?” He demanded.

She chuckled coldly. “I have eyes and ears everywhere and you’d better start respecting that. Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will know. And I will know about Jessica as well.”

“ORIANA. HER NAME IS ORIANA!”

Mrs. Harrington sighed. “You need to forget that name, son. It will do you no good to hold it in your mind.”

Beckett stood up from the table, clearing his throat. “Excuse me, mother. I do have homework that you are keeping me from completing. I’m certain you don’t want me to turn in any late assignments.”

“I’ll speak to your teachers, they will understand. You will not leave this house until we are done discussing what I called you here for.”

“You can’t stop me.” Beckett strode over to the door…just to find it sealed shut. He whirled back around. “Open the door, mother.”

“I will not. You are going to run right back to that girl even thought I have specifically instructed you not to.  I can see it in your eyes.”

“I love her.” He said defiantly. “And you’re right. I am going to her. So, let me through.”

“She’s bewitched you. I won’t stand for it.”

“No…no. Just…let me go!” He yanked on the door again, but it still would not budge. He muttered a spell under his breath to open the locks…but it did nothing.

“Don’t do this.” He begged. “Let me go.”

“I’m sure she’s busy anyway. Did you know you are not the only man she has been spending time with? There is another, also from a well-off family. It seems she can’t choose between the two of you, but one of you is bound to knock her up. The question is which one, and I will not allow it to be you.”

“How are you this cruel to your own son? To someone you don’t even know?” He asked, incredulously.

“I know enough. I do what I need to do to protect this family and what belongs to us. And I will not let anyone get in the way of that. Especially not some white trash girl from a low-income family…adoptive family I might add, her own parents didn’t even want her. Such a shame that she was already a problem just by being born. But she’s certainly trying to improve her situation by doing the only thing she knows how. Whoring herself out to the highest bidder.”

“ENOUGH!!!” He shouts out, as suddenly his body begins to vibrate, his skin turning metallic. Fear immediately took hold in him. This can only mean one thing.

“What is this magic?” His mother demanded, watching him. “Is she responsible? Did you send a message to her somehow? This is a heavily protected mansion, I’m afraid that no spell can…”

But Beckett was gone, having dissipated into thin air, arriving a moment later at Oriana’s side, who was battling a huge shadow beast in the middle of the forest.

“Ori!” He shouted. She turned to him in surprise.

“Beckett? Why aren’t you…Auuughhh!” She screamed as Beckett lunged in front of her, toppling to the ground. It gave her the opening she needed.

“SOLIS!!!” She shouted out, clapping her hands high in the air.

With a shriek, the monster went up in smoke, and she bent over breathless. “I see you never removed that protection spell of yours.” She joked, turning back towards him.

“Beckett?”

A low moan came from the ground, and she darted to his side. “Oh my god, Beckett!!”

He was laying on the dirt, clutching his chest. “Ori…I’m sorry…I should have been here sooner…”

“Don’t you dare apologize, Beckett Harrington. Why did you throw yourself in front of me??” She cried, trying to pry his fingers from the gash in his skin.

“You…distracted…my fault for…”

“Beckett let me see.” She begged. He finally dropped his hand, and blood came gushing out of the wound. “oh my, God.” She breathed, immediately pressing down with her own hands. “Dark to light and heal this from sight!”

A soft glow emanated out of her, and a warming, tingling took over them as his gash closed, leaving fresh pink skin where it had been. Despite herself, Oriana burst into tears.

“Why did you do that?? You could have been killed!” She sobbed, him sitting up and encircling her in his arms, her face pressed into his chest, crying tears both of relief as well as panic.

“You were about to be killed! Oriana, do you have any idea how close you came? What if I lost you just now?” He exclaimed. “I distracted you by showing up, I’m so sorry.”

He lifted her face with his fingers, gazing into her watery eyes. “Hey…hey, I’m okay, see?” He brushed his lips gently against hers. “You healed me, it’s fine.”

“It’s not fine!” She cried. “I have no idea how I got here!”

His eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Beck, I’m in the middle of the fucking forest. I was walking back to my dorm, and then suddenly I was just…here!”

He stared at her in shock. “You didn’t come here on your own?”

“Why would I be walking in the middle of the forest at night? No, I was walking towards my dorm, I thought I heard someone behind me, I figured it was you, and when I turned around…I was among the trees, kneeling right in front of a fucking beast! Kneeling!!!! Like I was being offered!!!  I barely had time to react! I’d pretty much just rolled out of the way of a direct hit and stood up when you arrived!”

Beckett tightened his arms around her. If only he’d gotten here sooner. No, if only he hadn’t been locked in by his mother…or even gone to her house in the first place, Oriana never would have been alone.

“I’m just...never leaving your side again, Ori.” He whispered.

She sniffled. “I’m sorry I’m crying, I’m being stupid.”

He pulled back and cupped her face in his hands. “No, you are quite possibly the smarted person I know. This is not your fault.”

“What is happening? Why is it happening? There hasn’t been an attack in weeks…why now? And how did I get here, Beckett? It can only mean one thing.”

He agreed grimly. “It means there’s a person behind it.”

“But if they wanted to get me alone…why not strike last week, when we spent all that time apart? I was alone a lot; most people were on holiday. Why wait until classes start up? Do you think it’s a student?”

“It’s very powerful magic, Oriana. Possibly an upperclassman, but at the senior level, no less. Or a professor.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” She asked worriedly, tracing through the torn fabric where he had been clawed severely. “It was a really big gash, Beck, there was so much blood.”

“Ori, I would only not be okay if something happened to you and I didn’t get there in time.” He stood up, reaching down his hand to clasp hers. “We’re going to my dorm tonight.”

She nodded. “Yeah, Okay.”

Beckett looked around and realized he had absolutely no idea where they were in comparison to the school. “We’re really deep in the woods.” He murmured, more to himself than to her.

“Which means no one would have found me anytime soon if…” She trailed off, tears welling in her eyes again.

Beckett gently wrapped her in his arms, transporting them back to his dorm. When they arrived, he peeled off her torn and dirt caked clothes, and got her to bed before removing his own. Climbing in next to her, he pulled her back in to him, spooning her, his arms tight around her.

“Beckett.” She said softly. “If you can transport us here…we’re freshman. It doesn’t have to be an upper classman.”

“I don’t think I could transport you if I wasn’t touching you. And that monster…I definitely can’t do that. But you know me, I’ve always practiced advanced magic. I may be a freshman, but I have a wealth of knowledge stored in me. My mother made sure of that. I'm definitely grateful for those lessons right now.”

“How was your dinner?” She asked

He sighed. “Not good. I’m not going again. She…she trapped me inside. So I would be unable to come back to you. I think she was going to try to convince me, again, not to be with you, and wanted to keep me there so she could do that. But it won’t happen, ever.”

Oriana turned around in his arms to face him. “What do you mean she trapped you?”

“She sealed the doors. I couldn’t get out, even with an unlocking spell.”

“Then…how did you…”

“My protection spell with you is complicated. There’s a lot of parts to it. She wasn’t anticipating it and therefore couldn’t block that magic.”

“I’m glad you never removed it.”

He smiled and kissed her forehead. “I want you safe, with or without me…well. I want to be there if I’m not already. I never even thought about removing it, even before we were a real couple.”

Oriana stretched her neck to kiss him deeply, and he returned it with just as much emotion. “Make love to me” She whispered on his lips

Beckett rolled so he was on top of her, slowly plunging himself into her core. She moaned as he reached her depths, and he grunted as he started moving slow and sweet, showering her with kisses the entire time.

She looked deep into his eyes, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” The desire was building inside them, with Beckett picking up the momentum and her matching him thrust for thrust until they fell apart around each other. He kept sliding in and out, slowing down, working through the last of their orgasms, capturing her lips with his own.

Sated, they stayed joined together, each unwilling to break the intimate connection, their breathing turning slow and steady as they drifted off to sleep.

@annekebbphotography @carabeth @gardeningourmet @eileendannie @dancetothestoriesinyoursoul @alesana45 @thequeenofcronuts @zigortega4life @drakewalkerfantasy

  @marianagmt @divergentofhogwarts @flyawayboo @kate-omalleys @syltti78 @coldcollectornight08 @emerald-bijou @herdecisions @nerdynstoned @owleyes374 @thatcatlady0716 @damienswhore @imaginemulti @hypno-bear-tini @askdana @noisysoulthing @bieberismysoulmate @meiyoko-trash @coffeebeandragon @pbmychoices @timmagicktoad @sweetest-marbear @darley1101 @blackcoffee85 @confessionsofabrokegirl @feartheendlesssummer

#secret studies #beckett x oriana #beckett x mc #beckett harrington fanfic #beckett harrington #playchoices #choices stories you play #the elementalist #the elementalist fanfic #choices the elementalist #fluffy-marshmallow-heart

[blazingtheway]

Through the Looking Glass – Storyline 8 – Together - Part Four

Continuing on from...

↬Embry Call ↫ #Seth cleared his throat loudly… Like I needed a warning to end this conversation with #Tony after I heard Leah’s bike. I changed the subject as she made her way in, noisily. “When are you gigging again Tony?” I asked and looked up as Leah called out, playing the diligent human… eyes turned when someone called out, even though we knew who it was and that she was here long before she announced herself. “Well… I might be playing here at some stage.” Tony followed the rest of us over to Leah and the mouth-watering smell of those famous burgers. ’If the lovely Ms Clearwater sees fit.’ He smiled at her, but it wavered a little. I pulled out a chair at the table she set the food on. Tony hovered and I pushed one out for him. “You are in for a treat today Tony. Seriously, you’ve never tasted anything like it!” I smiled. I saw Seth disappear around the bar and emerge with a beer for each of us. “Drinking the profits again Kid?” I laughed and Tony held up a hand. ‘I’ve got to drive I’ll pass, thanks though.’ He called over to #Seth who nodded and grabbed him a coke instead. I knew Tony’s dad was killed in a drunk driving accident… and he had been the one drinking. It was a line he never crossed. Nobody here would question his choice though. #Seth passed out the drinks as Leah unpacked the food. My stomach was growling at the smell, I hadn’t eaten since my run and that always worked up an appetite. “You really should let the guys come and play… they are really good. They’d draw in the punters for sure.” I smiled at Leah. I had to put in a word for my boy. #Tony slapped my arm a little too hard to get my attention. “You could get up and jam for a song or too if you weren’t working.” He grinned and rubbed the back of his knuckles casually, I tried to act like I hadn’t noticed. ↬ Leah Clearwater ↫ Coming into a place and acting 𝙣𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙡 wasn’t something that needed much work for me. On top of becoming good at hiding who we were from the others around the Rez, I had perfected hiding myself in plain sight. I knew the conversation that had been taking place before #Tony and #Mac knew I had arrived. But to look at me you’d not know it. I made a point to look over my shoulder at being called 𝙈𝙨 𝘾𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧. “Oh, I thought maybe Jessica had shown up.” #Mac laughed taking a seat next to where I stood, and I handed him his food first. ‘If Jessica were to show up, you’d only kick her out for being underage and quizzing her about why she wasn’t at work.’ I leaned into his side and smacked him up the side of his head. “She is underage, and she should be at work. Not everybody on this Rez gets the opportunities she’s gotten. Sure, she worked hard for them. But still. That kid is going places.” I found myself half smiling thinking of my uncle Mike’s daughter. The young Clearwater with her bubbly, jumpy self with the ability to fill a room with laughter and the sound of her voice the moment she stepped into it. I glanced over to Call, nodding my head to him and Tony. It was becoming clear from what I’d over heard and seeing the twos interaction together that Call trusted this guy. “Okay, I’m sure the guys will agree with me, if you are up for a set here at #HWH, then we will be happy to host you. Also, it’s kind of a given since you know –” I nodded to Call and then to Mac. “—These two seem to like having you around and all.” One by one I moved around the table handing out the containers with the fries, burgers, and salads in them. The extras remaining in the bag I pushed it in the middle of the table. The guys knew, the first was a given and then the next was first come first serve, helping yourself. I wasn’t their Mom, and I wasn’t going to baby them to eat. #Seth handed me a beer. ‘Nah, I only give you lot the cheap crap’ he joked coming back to join the rest. He turned his chair backwards and sat wide legged into the table. Opening his box making a show of the pleasure the food was giving him. ‘Really, Tony, you have to bite into this bad boy in one. It’s big I know. But so

worth the mess.’ Going out of his way, making a flamboyant gesture, picking up the burger then taking a bite with a satisfied moan. Raising my eyebrow, I watched, shaking my head slowly. “You really need to get yourself a girlfriend Kid.” Winking at him I opened my own box taking out some fries and popping them into my mouth. #Mac choked on his beer and I could see #Tony trying hard not to laugh. Glancing back over to where they had been working. “You guys aren’t doing too badly over there. After lunch we could knock this out right? or will it take longer?” But they weren’t talking, as my eyes moved around the table, the food was the only thing they were thinking about. “The Spirits.” I smirked biting into my own burger, and I had to admit damn it was good. ↬ Embry Call ↫ I had to laugh at Leah’s reaction to being called Ms Clearwater. The fact that she would faster attribute that title to her younger cousin was very telling. She spent far too much time in 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙤𝙮’𝙨 𝙘𝙡𝙪𝙗. I could see #Tony start to get far too excited and I clamped a hand on his shoulder to stop him; before he started rambling about setlists and whatever else. “Just say thank you, Ton.” I whispered mostly so he’d think no one else heard. “Thanks, Leah.” He smiled. “I appreciate it.” I took the food from Leah and flipped open the box, of course, I went straight for the burger and took a huge bite, with a highly sexualised moan that rivalled #Seth’s. “So good.” I said before I swallowed the bite. “But I gotta agree with your sister there Kid… if you aren’t going to use and abused the gifts the Spirit’s gave you… then you really, really need to start dating.” I teased #Seth. It was unavoidable when the opportunity arose. #Tony looked around the table and laughed. “Yeah… you guys should start bottling the water around here… you’ll make a fortune.” “Hell no!” I joked. “We can’t sell tribe secrets!” I grinned at him; #Mac may not have been a Spirit Warrior. But he was a good-looking guy. I looked over my shoulder and around the room when Leah asked how long it would take to finish and it was only then that I noticed the instruments and sound equipment that had been kept out of the way of the stage set up. “Wait… Wha—“ I cut off halfway through the word. There was no way they were having a live band here tonight and I hadn’t heard about it. “What’s with the…” Bands carried their own instruments. And I remembered back the days before #Tony found his band and going to hear him sing at open mic nights. “Are you having an open mic night… here?” When had they decided this? How the hell had #Seth kept this from me of all people? “Another ten or twenty minutes on the stage max… and if Call pitches in with the equipment; we could knock it out in forty or less.” #Tony slapped my shoulder, again too hard. “He’s a pretty good roadie when he wants to be.” ↬ Leah Clearwater ↫ Chewing on my mouthful, I shifted hearing the sound now coming from Call. Raising my eyebrow. Soon after him #Mac joined in. “The spirits, what is wrong with your three? Can’t you all act a little now civilized like Tony here?” gesturing towards him sat next to Call. I pushed my chair to the side and pretend to hurl my guts, making a puking sound. “Really do not need those sounds in my head.” Moving to sit back up I took another bite from my food and added some fries too. ‘It’s okay Leah, we all know you dream about us and these sounds.’ I moved my foot under the table and kicked #Mac in his shins. “Add that on the physio’s list of to do. I’ll cover the costs.” #Seth burst out laughing, stopping only when I glared at him. ‘Hey, it was funny. Sue me sis.’ He teased, filling his mouth again. Both #Seth and I were pretending not to hear the conversation between #Tony and ↬ Embry Call ↫ . Only looking back over to them when I heard my name. “You’re welcome, it’s the least we can do for all your help.” I wasn’t one to forget people who went out of their way to help. And I was sure this wasn’t in his job description. I laughed now

at #Tony talking about bottling the water again. Pushing myself up off the chair, I went around the back of the bar, grabbing a glass and filling it with ice and then some water. Bringing it back I stood next to him and set it down. Leaning down I whispered. “You drink it, don’t worry about the others.” Smirking I saw #Seth rolling his eyes at me, and I smacked him up the side of his head as I walked past him. “Eat up we have work to do before opening.” Sitting back down I froze as #Tony roped Call into helping. “Call, don’t you have better things to be getting on with?” #Seth hushed me. ‘Sis! More hands the better.’ And #Mac kept his head down eating his way through his burger, until Call cottoned on to the plan here. ‘Yeah man Open Mic Monday’s! It was Lee’s idea, to give the talents of the town a place to come on slow nights to try out their music or comedy. Whatever they want. And Ton here and his mom helped with letting us hire this stuff from them while we work the kinks out.’ The excitement he was talking in was something I’d not seen in him since before he broken up with the last girl he was with. ‘Also. Live Band Tuesdays, now Ton has talked Lee into letting bands come visit with their sets. It’s going to blow minds.’ #Seth and #Mac clapped their hands in a hi-five making me roll my eyes. ‘We didn’t want to say anything until it was all up and ready to go.’ He moved to give #Tony a hi-five now too. And I could see #Tony’s cheeks turning red. “It was a team plan, I just dropped a hint.” I muttered, putting my head down to eat my burger. But by the Spirits, this was worth the trouble. Seeing them both so happy and excited to do something like this. As I glanced over to Embry Call , I was surprised to find his eyes darting around. Was he excited by the idea too? “What do you think Call? Will the –“ I couldn’t call them the 𝙋𝙪𝙥𝙨 with #Tony here. #Mac knew that we called the young one’s pups as a joke. “—think the younger ones would be up to showing off?” ↬ Embry Call ↫ I laughed at Leah… If the combination of #SueClearwater and #TiffanyCall couldn’t civilise us there was little hope for it now. “I think #Tony is the closest thing to a gentleman there is in this place right now.” I motioned to Leah as she made the puking sounds. “And as you can tell, Leah isn’t all that hung up on decorum herself.” I wanted to high five #Mac for his comment, but I knew that would just earn me my own kick… if I’d not managed to earn myself one of those already. I looked up at Leah and laughed as she handed #Tony the glass of water. “He doesn’t need any help with a voice like his.” I winked at him and turned back to Leah. “Seriously?” I laughed. “Better than helping you guys set up for live music? Here… in La Push and not in my living room. No. Nothing better, Clearwater.” I answered her cheekily. #Seth and #Mac both shrugged like it was the obvious answer.

‘He’s got a point sis’.’ #Seth pointed out. They all knew when it came to music I was always going to show up. I did groan a little when #Seth said comedy. “Don’t tell #Quil that part… please! I really 𝙙𝙤 𝙣𝙤𝙩 need to become a test subject for his stand-up routine.” I huffed and took another bite of the burger, washing it down with the beer. Of course, Leah wasn’t going to take credit for the plan. Had it been something smaller, something not related to the business she’d be all over it. I smiled at her. “It’s a brilliant idea… are you kidding a few beers and there’ll be no stopping them! You’ve heard some of the kids sing. Well, the ones that are of age at least. It will definitely bring a few townies too… but open mics draw a much better crowd than karaoke. I’m sure Tony will put out the word to his singer-songwriter buddies. It will be great.” #Tony gave an enthusiastic nod. ‘Oh yeah, there’s not a lot of chances for musicians and performers locally. They won’t pass up a chance to play so close to home.’ I swallowed the mouthful of food I was chewing and looked from #Mac to #Seth and then #Leah. “Who’s going to MC on the night?” ↬ Leah Clearwater ↫ “Hey, I never said I was anything more than who I am. You arse however, are always trying to sell yourselves as more than what is in that bottle you call your bodies.” Taking a bigger bite from my burger just to prove my point. They all know, what they saw was what they got from me. And what was unseen, was none of their business. Taking out my phone I smiled over to Call as I spoke. “Hey Siri, remind me to message Ateara about Comedy night.” The screen came to life with her soft voice saying, ‘Working on that…… Reminder set to message Quill about Comedy night.’ My gaze moved back to #Tony at what Call had just said. “Wait a minute. Are you telling me you are the voice of your band Tony?” My eyebrows were raised because I would have thought by the way he was trying to get the live Band night going, and then with him offering his band up as the first to take the stage. He would have led with the fact that he was the voice. #Tony’s cheeks reddened a little again, and I smirked. It was a tell I was starting to recognise. He shifted under the weight of Call’s hand on his shoulder. ‘Uhm. Well. Yes. Kinda. I guess. But a couple of the guys sing too.’ He was shifting on his chair, and this was a look into the side of him which wasn’t as confident. The side he was hiding behind the image he believed people wanted to see from him. ‘And I did say to Leah before that people would pile in for a karaoke night here too. Something else for you all to think about down the line.’ And like that his confidence in what he was saying was back. I make a face and shook my head. Karaoke wasn’t something I wanted to put my ears through. 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧! ‘More the merrier Call! Any help from you would be great really. Right Lee? And you know, we expect to see you up there on open mic night too.’ #Mac was wiping his lips with a napkin, taking his bottle of beer and drinking from it. “Hmm… Yeah.. Of course.” My shoulders stiffened a little, I looked away from Call, and then found myself looking back at him. He really wanted to help out? Sure, I knew what music had meant to him from a young age. And I was the only one in this bar who knew he played more than just the guitar. But I would have thought he’d disappear and give himself some Leah free time. And yet the lesson from the night was replaying in my mind again, the light whisper in my ear. ‘He is to learn from his own path.’ But what was that path doing crossing over mine so much right now? Shaking my head free, I took another bite from my food and froze. “MC? What? Don’t people just get their arse up there and do their thing?” I wiped my hands on the napkin, then pointed over to the stage. ‘No, you need somebody to keep things moving, some people can become really possessive when they have a microphone in their hands. I have known MCs who needed to pry those things out of people’s hands.’ #Tony said matter of factly.

‘I can do it. I’m charming and debonair. I mean just look at me. The guys want to be me, and the ladies want to be with me.’ #Seth brushed his fingers through his hair, blowing kisses to all the guys sat at the table. The mother of all eye rolls escaped my being as I sat listening to the kid. “The Spirits, Please Stop! Before your head explodes and I have to explain to Ma how she lost her son to his own vanity.” Throwing a couple of fries at his face, which of course he caught in his mouth chewing on them. “But that’s a good question. Dammit, do I have to hire somebody to do that job now? ‘What about Paul?’ #Mac asked and both #Seth and I screamed out “𝙉𝙊” Making #Mac push his chair back out of reach. “Giving Lahote a mic is like the nightmare Tony just told us about.” Shaking my head. “Not even if the spirits came to knocking would I give that man a microphone for an hour, let alone a night.”

↬Embry Call ↫ “Hey!” I pointed a French fry at her. “This package sells itself!!” I grinned and pointed to myself now. I had to roll my eyes when she pulled out her phone; I narrowed them at her and glared mockingly. “Why do you hate me?” I smirked and went back to eating. I shook my head when #Tony sold himself short. “He sings, he plays… well everything, guitar, bass, and piano. He drums a little too… and he writes songs. I’m pretty sure I’m forgetting a few things.” ‘Saxophone.’ #Tony muttered rubbing the back of his neck, turning a little pink. I chuckled and looked around the table. “Told you.” I laughed. I glanced back at #Tony. “Karaoke always fills a place. But I don’t know if it’s the kind of thing that goes hand-in-hand with the #HWH brand. But that’s something for those three to argue about.” I flashed the Clearwater’s and #Mac a cheeky grin. I knew #Mac technically only worked here, but they always included him in the discussions about the business. They trusted and valued his opinions. “Hell yeah!” I grinned at #Mac. “I’ll play for sure.” #Tony patted my shoulder; he didn’t hurt himself this time. The look of confusion on Leah’s face made me laugh a little. I almost choked on my beer when #Seth started his self-promotion. I almost fell off my chair at the idea of #Paul doing it, talk about a disaster waiting to happen. “You just need someone to introduce the acts and keep things on schedule. You want to limit it to ten minutes or two songs; whichever comes first. And don’t fill all of your slots before the night; leave a few for walk-ins. It’s not a big job; you don’t need to hire someone. Why don’t you do it, Leah?” I smiled at her. “Get the crowd interested; say a few words in between the acts. Oh, and make sure to spread out the comedy acts because nothing empties a room faster than back-to-back stand-up if they end up sucking. Just try to be nice… not too nice, the crowd will love a little bit of shade… but not your usual amount.” I was half teasing and half-serious.

↬Leah Clearwater ↫ “Call. Hate is such a strong word, and not to forget it’s a feeling . And you know I don’t do feelings. So, do you still believe that I ‘Hate’ you? I gave him the same smirk right back as I took a meaningful bite out of my burger and at the same time, I threw a couple of fries in his direction. #Seth and I stopped chewing and doing what we were and just stared at #Tony. ‘You are one talented man; I didn’t even know one person could play so many things?’ #Seth was patting #Tony on the shoulder. My glance moved to Call and then #Mac, and I saw the same look that Call was giving #Tony in #Mac’s eyes. ‘He really is, and he always undersells himself when it comes to talking about how good he is. I keep telling him, he needs to big himself up a lot more.’ #Mac winks across the table towards #Tony and once again his cheeks were red. How was this the same man who’d driven up into my parking lot and gotten my back up? “I can’t wait to see you perform Tony. Sounds like it’s going to be a great night.” I tilted my head to the side, my hair cascading down off my shoulder. I was trying to see what else he could be hiding. But then was it any of my business to find it? and the answer was No. Call’s words pulled my attention back off #Tony and into the conversation they had moved onto. #Seth was laughing and #Mac shifting on his chair now as Call went through the requirements of what an MC needs to do. My eyebrow raised as he went on and on. He knew this crap by the sounds of it. But what I was thinking was too much. Asking for favours wasn’t something I did. Asking for help was a Nope, Not Happening. And After the fact that he’d only just helped to fix my door at home. What in the name of the spirits was going on? Why was I being put into these situations of late where Call was the answer? I bit the inside of my cheek as the idea started to form and I was trying to talk myself out of it. ‘Sure, let’s give Sis the mic so she can tell them how crap they are, and for her to completely crush their dreams? Bry, you do know my sister, right? This woman can’t or more like won’t lie even to save somebodies feelings!’ #Seth gave me the Sorry sis but it's true look, and I couldn’t agree with him more. Standing up I went to walk around the bar to get everyone some sodas now, with #Mac and #Tony here I knew they would worry if we were drinking in the day and then driving or riding. As I pulled the cans out of the fridge, I shook my head, it was a bad idea. ‘All because you’ve never shown weakness. But this isn’t weakness Leah, it’s asking a friend to help. You know he has called you his friend with times now. You are the one who can’t see it. Give him the option. What’s the worst? He’ll say no.’ My wolf was whispering her advice to me. “You don’t have to say yes, and I know this is a big ask Call. But.. Mondays are your nights off from the club, right? While we figure all this out. Would you mind stepping up? Show Mac and Seth the ropes? So, they could take it over in a few weeks? I’m happy to pay you, and take on any other responsibility to clear your time?” The two main things that came to my mind were his runs and his mom. If Ms. C needed help I was happy to do it, and if I needed to run doubles, I’d do that too.

↬ Embry Call ↫ I just stared her down when she gave her little speech about hate. I wouldn’t give in by looking away; I just grinned and listened, even when she threw the fries I didn’t flinch. I just plucked one that landed on my shoulder and dropped it into the take-out containers. My mouth went dry again when Leah turned to talk to #Tony about his various talents, and her hair slipped over her shoulder like an ebony waterfall and framed her face. I picked up the bottle of beer and guzzled back whatever was left in it. “It’s her business though… She could control her dark side for the good of the bar.” I looked at #Seth; he was looking for a swift kick from his sister today and for a strange, unexplainable reason… me. I put the empty bottle down and searched her words for sarcasm… waited for a laugh or the joke. ‘That’s a great idea! People like Call… as long as they aren’t waiting on him to call after a one-night stand.’ #Seth teased and I lashed out to slap him. But he dodged. “I never tell them I’ll call.” I admitted honestly. ‘You never tell them you won’t, either.’ #Seth smirked. He wasn’t entirely wrong, but I did when they were ballsy enough to ask outright. Most of the time they didn’t want to know. I looked at Leah taking one of the soda’s she had gotten from the bar. “Are you serious? I’ve never done anything like that before?” But when I thought about it…. What was it really other than talking? I wasn’t shy by any means. But still, this bar was her life… #Seth’s life. I chewed on my lip for a moment. “I mean, I guess I could.” I completely ignore the part about being paid, because that wasn’t going to happen. ‘You’ve introduced the band a few times for us when we played.’ #Tony added to the conversation. “Only because your old drummer was always late!” I laughed and shook my head. “Someone had to stall.” I turned back to Leah again and smiled. “Um… yeah, okay. We’ll see how the first one goes. You might not want me back after that.” I chuckled. But really what was it, talking about the acts? A bit of conversation with the room, moving along the mic-hogs. I could do that.

↬ Leah Clearwater ↫ Finishing my first burger, I didn’t move my eyes from Call, he was glaring at me, and it gave me great pleasure. “Too easy” I muttered reaching out for another burger to the dismay of #Tony. From the look the new comer was giving me, I could tell that he’d never seen a woman eat. Girls did that stupid thing of ordering salads when they were with guys they liked. And then I could guarantee they would get burgers or a pizza on the way home. Me? If I were hungry (which I was most of the time thanks to my high metabolism ), I would eat unashamedly. “You want another Tony? There’s more than enough there in the middle of the table man.” I told him, and he tentatively reached out to take another. I all but choked at #Seth’s taunt. “Can’t blame the guy for running from the clingers. I hope he learnt his lesson from the finger print thieves and the clingy shorties. Then again, it is Call, so maybe not.” #Mac was laughing and looking from me to Call. ‘Finger print thieves, what?’ I shook my head telling him, he really didn’t want to know. Shifting in my chair when Call reached out to smack #Seth, my hand tightening around the can in my hand now. ‘Easy, easy. They are both playing.’ My wolf told me, and I sat back in the chair. My legs planted to stop myself from moving. “Call, when have you known me not to be serious when it comes to…well… anything…” Now that I thought about it. I wasn’t really the ( let’s mess around ), kind with the packs. Pointing the can to #Tony who helped me to make my point. “One off, drummers running late. Whatever the reason Call, you have more knowledge on what is needed. And no matter how much it hurts me to say… People for some reason like your cocky BS. That smile thing you do with that lip biting thing. And 𝘽𝙖𝙢! You have most of the idiot women putty in your hands.” #Mac, #Seth and #Tony were all nodding in agreement. ‘I mean Call, you were close to getting me the other night in the bar with that smile of yours.’ #Mac added. ‘Anything you do would help show us the ropes, unless the girls start calling for you to strip. I’m not sure we have the licencing for that kind of a show.’ When Call agreed, I had to stop myself from saying ‘Are you sure?’ my wolf reminding me that I wanted him to do this. “Thanks Call. I owe you.” Which wasn’t something I said often. ‘Damn Bry! Sis saying, she owes you. Use that wisely, you are one of a small handful with that kind of power in your hands.’ #Seth was grinning his charming grin, but it didn’t stop me from reaching out and slapping him up the side of his head. ‘Hey! What was that for?’ He rubbed his head but was laughing now because he knew too well. “Eat up. Work won’t do itself.” My glance moved over to Call, still a little surprised that he agreed.

TBC...

#LeahClearwater #Leah #HotHeadSheWolf #SpiritsHotHead #EmbryCall #Embry #BADBOYEMBRYCALL #Twilight #TwilightRP #TwiRP #AUStories

[orbemnews]

Could the Pandemic Prompt an ‘Epidemic of Loss’ of Women in the Sciences? Like many women during the pandemic, Alisa Stephens found working from home to be a series of wearying challenges. Dr. Stephens is a biostatistician at the University of Pennsylvania, and the technical and detail-oriented nature of her work requires long uninterrupted stretches of thought. Finding the time and mental space for that work with two young children at home proved to be an impossibility. “That first month was really hard,” she recalled of the lockdown. Her infant daughter’s day care was closed, and her 5-year-old was at home instead of at school. With their nanny unable to come to the house, Dr. Stephens tended to her children all day and worked late into the evening. In the fall, when her daughter was set to begin kindergarten, the schools did not reopen. Things eased once the family could safely bring in a nanny, but there was still little time for the deep thought Dr. Stephens had relied on each morning for her work. Over time, she has adjusted her expectations of herself. “Maybe I’m at 80 percent as opposed to 100 percent, but I can get things done at 80 percent to some extent,” she said. “It’s not great, it’s not my best, but it’s enough for now.” Dr. Stephens is in good company. Several studies have found that women have published fewer papers, led fewer clinical trials and received less recognition for their expertise during the pandemic. Add to that the emotional upheaval and stress of the pandemic, the protests over structural racism, worry about children’s mental health and education, and the lack of time to think or work, and an already unsustainable situation becomes unbearable. “The confluence of all of these factors creates this perfect storm. People are at their breaking point,” said Michelle Cardel, an obesity researcher at the University of Florida. “My big fear is that we are going to have a secondary epidemic of loss, particularly of early career women in STEM.” Female scientists were struggling even before the pandemic. It was not unusual for them to hear that women were not as smart as men, or that a woman who was successful must have received a handout along the way, said Daniela Witten, a biostatistician at the University of Washington in Seattle. Some things are changing, she said, but only with great effort, and at a glacial pace. The career ladder is particularly steep for mothers. Even during maternity leave, they are expected to keep up with lab work, teaching requirements, publications and mentoring of graduate students. When they return to work, most do not have affordable child care. Women in academia often have little recourse when confronted with discrimination. Their institutions sometimes lack the human resources structures common in the business world. The path is even rockier for scientists of color, like Dr. Stephens, who encounter other biases in the workplace — in everyday reactions, professional reviews or promotions — and now have to cope with the disproportionate impact of the pandemic on Black and Latino communities. Dr. Stephens said a close friend, also a Black scientist, had five family members who contracted Covid-19. Updated  April 12, 2021, 9:28 p.m. ET The year has been a “pause” for everyone, Dr. Stephens added, and universities should find a way to help scientists when the pandemic ends — perhaps by adding an extra year to the time allotted to them to earn tenure. Others said while extra time for tenure may help, it will be far from enough. “It’s sort of like if you’re drowning, and the university tells you, ‘Don’t worry if it takes you an extra year to get back to shore,’” Dr. Witten said. “It’s like, ‘Hey, that’s not helpful. I need a flotation device.’” Compounding the frustration are the outdated notions about how to help women in science. But social media has allowed women to share some of those concerns and find allies to organize and call out injustice when they see it, said Jessica Hamerman, an immunologist at the Benaroya Research Institute in Seattle. “People are just much less likely to sit quietly, and listen to biased statements that affect them.” In November, for example, a controversial study on female scientists was published in the influential journal Nature Communications, suggesting that having female mentors would hinder the career of young scientists and recommending that the young women instead seek out men to help them. The response was intense and unforgiving. Hundreds of scientists, male and female, renounced the paper’s flawed methods and conclusions, saying it reinforced outdated stereotypes and neglected to take structural biases in academia into account. “The advice from the paper was basically similar to advice your grandmother may have given you 50 years ago: Get yourself a man who will take care of you, and all will be fine,” Dr. Cardel said. Nearly 7,600 scientists signed a petition calling on the journal to retract the paper — which it did on Dec. 21. Class Disrupted Updated March 29, 2021 The latest on how the pandemic is reshaping education. The study arrived at a time when many female scientists were already worried about the pandemic’s effect on their careers, and already on edge and angry with a system that offered them little support. “It’s been an incredibly difficult time to be a woman in science,” said Leslie Vosshall, a neuroscientist at Rockefeller University in New York. “We’re already on the ground, we’re already on our knees — and then the paper just comes and kicks us to say: ‘We have the solution, let’s move the graduate students to a senior man.’” Some people on Twitter suggested that the Nature Communications paper had been retracted because a “feminist mob” had demanded it, but in fact the paper was “a dumpster fire of data,” Dr. Vosshall said. The study was based on flawed assumptions and statistical analysis, according to several statisticians. (The authors of the paper declined to comment.) Dr. Vosshall said she felt compelled to push back because the paper was “dangerous.” Department chairs and deans of medical schools would have used the research to steer graduate students toward male mentors and roll back any progress toward making science more equitable, she said: “The older I get, the more of a window I have onto how this profession really works.” She has applied some of her wisdom to invoke change at Rockefeller University, one of the oldest research institutions in the country. A couple of years ago, Rockefeller University invited the news anchor Rachel Maddow to present a prestigious prize. On her way into the auditorium, Ms. Maddow pointed to a wall adorned with pictures of Lasker Award and Nobel Prize winners — all male — affiliated with the university. At least four women at the university had also won prestigious prizes, but their photographs were not on display. “What’s up with the dude wall?” Ms. Maddow asked. And Dr. Vosshall, who had walked past the wall a thousand times, suddenly saw it differently. She realized it sent the wrong message, overtly or not, to all the high school, undergraduate and graduate students who routinely walked past it. “Once you notice a dude wall, you see them everywhere,” she said. “They’re in every auditorium, every hallway, every departmental office, every conference room.” Rockefeller University eventually agreed to replace the display with one that is more representative of the institution’s history. The pictures were taken down on Nov. 11, Dr. Vosshall announced on Twitter, and will be replaced by a more inclusive set. Departments at Yale University and Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston have also reconsidered their dude walls, Dr. Vosshall said. “There are some traditions that should not be perpetuated.” Source link Orbem News #epidemic #Loss #Pandemic #prompt #sciences #Women

[josephkitchen0]

List: The Best Chicken Names — A to Z

Dreaming up the perfect baby chick names is one of the most exciting parts of starting or adding to a flock.

If you need inspiration, our readers and fans are here to help. Take a look at these good chicken name suggestions!

If you’ve got your own list of good chicken names, share your fun ideas in the comments below and we’ll add them here.

  GOOD CHICKEN NAMES (in alphabetical order):

• Abby • Abednego • Adele • Aflac • Albert  • Amelia Egghart • Angel • Angelica • Anna • Annie • Antonina • April • Astrid • Aurora • Autumn • Ava Chanel • Avaleach • Bandit • Batgirl • Beaky • Beakster • Bean • Beatrice • Beethoven “Lil Miss B” • Bella • Belle • Belmont• Benipe • Benny & Joon • Bernice • Betsy • Birdie • Billie Jean • Biscuit • Black Beauty • Blanche • Black Betty • Blue • Bluebelle • Bob, Not Bob & Robert • Bongo • Boomer • Bread & Butter • Breakfast • Brownie • Buck • Buffalo Wings • Buffy • Burger • Buttercup • Butterfinger • Buffy • Bunny • Cammi • Caribou • Carl • Caruso • Cecelia • Charlie • Charlotte • Cheek Cheek • Cheeky • Che r• Chickeel O’Neil • Chicken Patty • Chipmunk Extra Toes • Chippy • Chips & Cheese • Cholula • Cinnamon • Cinnamon & Sugar • Clairetta • Clarabelle • Clarisse • Clover • Cockadoodledoo • Coco • Coconut • Colton • Cookie • Cookie & Cream • Cookies & Cream • Copper • Cornbread Jones • Cotton • Cowie • Cracker • Crooked Toes • Crossy Road • Crow • Cupcake • Cutie Pie • Daisy • Daliah • Daisy Duck • Delta • Dixie • Dolly • Dorothy • Dory • Dottie Kay • Drumstick • Duck Duck • Duckie Momo • Duckiegirl • Duke • Dusty & Bunny • Earth, Wind & Fire • Easter • Edith • Edna & Elle • Egger • Eggy Sue • Elphaba • Ella • Elsa • Elvis • Emily • Ena • Ester • Esther • Ethel • Etta-leghorn • Eugene • Fancy Boy • Fancy Feet • Farrah • Featherfluff, Featherball, & Featherywhite • Fiesta • Flash • Fleeker • Fleur • Flo • Floyd Frizzles • Fluff • Fluffy • Fluffy Butt • Flutters • Former Penguin, The • Franchesca • Francine • Frank • Franny • Freckles • Gabrielle • Ginger • Girlie • Gladys & The Peeps • Glenda • Goldiboks • Goldie • Gossie • Gracie • Grace• Grey • Gumdrop • Handsome • Happy Feet • Hartley-Rose • Hay Hay • Heddy • Henny & Penny • Henny Penny • Henrietta • Henry • Honey & Butter • Hoot • Hope • Huey, Duey, & Louie • Inky • Iris • Jacqueline • Jasper • Jewel • Jo • Joan • Jolene • Juan • Judy B Jones • Junebug • Junior • Kate • Katie Scarlet • Katy • Ken • Kiev • Kira • Lady • Ladybug • Larry, Moe & Curly • Lash • Laverne • Layla • Lay Verne • Lemon • Leonie • Lil’ Peeper • Lime • Little Maggie • Littles • Livean • Liza • Logan • Lola • Lorettie • Louise • Lucille • Lucille Ball • Lucy • Lulu • LuluBocko Brahma • Luna & Star • Madea • Madison • Mae • Maggie May • Maisy & Daisy • Maple • Margarita • Marge • Marigold • Marsala • Mary Ann • Mary Poopins • Matilda • May • Meg • Melissa • Memphis • Merecy • Meshach • Michelle • Midnight • Millicent • Millie Justice • Minnie • Miss Prissy • Mohawk • Mohawk Extra Toes • Molly • Moo Shu • Mother Clucker • Mrs. Hughes • Ms. Speck • Muffin • Muffs • Mumble • Meena, Myna & Moe • Nani • Napoleon • Nebucadnezzar • Netty • Nightstorm • Nilly • Nugget • Nutmeg • Nellie Anne • Oakley • Olive • Olivia • Omelet • Opal • Ophelia • Owlette • Pancho & Cisco • Panda • Parmesan • Paula Dean • Peach • Peanuts • Pearl • Pebbles • Pecky • Peckster • Pee Wee • Peep • Peeper • Penelope • Penny • Penguin, The • Petite • Phoebe • Phoenix • Piccata • Picket • Pinecone • Pinky Pie • Pipsqueak • Polka & Dot • Popcorn • Posey • Potpie • Princess Leia • Puff • Pup • Qawi • Reba • Red Wing • Reese & Puff • Remington • Rene • Rhonda • Roberta • Robin • Rose • Rosey • Rosie • RosieLilly • Roxanne • Ruby • Ruffie • Ruggles • Ruth Layer-Hensberg • Salt & Pepper • Samantha • Sand Piper • Sassy • Scarlet • Seven • Shadow • Shadrach • Shirlay • Silky Boy • Skitters • Skittles • Smalls • Snicker & Doodle • Snooki • Snow White • Snowy • Sophie • Spangler • Speedy 1 & 2 • Spitzy • Spice • Spike • Squirt • Star • Stella • Strider • Sugar • Summer • Sunny • Sunshine • Susie Q (Curly) • Sweet Pea • Sweetie • Tamar • Tetrazzini • Three Amigos • Tikka • Tillie • Tinsy • Tips • Tom & Jerry • Toto • Tulip • Thomas Train Engines: Annie, Clarabell, Emily, Henrietta, and Rosie • Vanilla • Velvet • Vera • Veronica • Vigorous • Vinny • Violet • Wickles • Wilhelmina • Wilma & Betty • Winny • Winston • Xana the Warrior • Yeti • Yeti & Yoda • Zigster • Zippy

Fun Comments About Good Chicken Names: 

• My hens will be named after famous chicken dishes: Marsala, Piccata (or Peckata ), Tikka, and Potpie. If I get a rooster, he would be named Kiev. — Evie Kuran Dieck

• We had three chicks hatch a week and a half before Easter, so we call them the Three Amigos. They made for fun pictures of my granddaughter & niece for Easter also. — Jamie N Ryan Debons

The Three Amigos — Jaime N Ryan Debons

  Novalynn, Jadelyn, and The Three Amigos — Jamie and Ryan Debons

• I have about 35 but started naming the most friendly. Right now we have Dempsey, she was injured at birth by another brood hen. Then Dottie, our blue splash Marans. This one pictured is Opal, our little Aloha hen. We also have: Spike, Bongo, Wickles, Velvet, Daisy, Pearl, Peanuts, Violet, Skitters, Ruffie, Puff, Mohawk, Nilly, Fancy Feet, and Littles. — Sheila Bishop

Opal — Sheila Bishop

• Three of the first four I got were named after the Schuyler sisters in Hamilton … Angelica, Eliza, and Pecky (Pecky is a play on the actual name of the 3rd sister, Peggy) and the 4th was named Dawn by my daughter, the next two were named after the Patil twins in Harry Potter … Padma and Parvati, but Parvati was soon found out to be a cockerel, so his name changed to Pavarotti; the next two were named Velma and Daphne from Scooby Doo, but sadly we lost Daphne to a hawk. I’m getting 4 more this Spring to complete my backyard flock and I’m hoping to stick to literary names! — Jessica Lancaster

• I’ve got 13! Amelia, Beatrice, Lucy, Ethel, Mrs. Hughes, Ms. Speck, Dorothy, Blanche, Rose. The other four I’m letting friends and family name and they haven’t decided yet. I’m about to name them after some favorite book characters if they don’t get with it! — Lori Worcester

• Out of 12 we have named a few. We have a Rhode Island Red named Lucy, after Lucile Ball of I Love Lucy, another Rhode Island Red named Ginger who is best buds with a Plymouth Barred Rock named Mary Ann, both named after the lovely characters of Gilligan’s Island. Then there is Nugget, he “or” she is an Ameracauna. — Eduardo Cabello

• Two Light Brahmas named Salt & Pepper. One Black Cochin and one White Cochin named Glenda (the white one) and Elphaba (black one). My Easter Eggers names will be Dorothy and Toto. — Tina Rogers-Higgins

• Chicken Patty, Henny Penny, Mary Poopins, Edith, Edna and Elle. — Corice Boyer

• Princess Leia. She doesn’t lay many eggs but hangs around the nest boxes a lot keeping order so her nickname is “The Janitor.” — Steve Tomashek

Princess Leia — Steve Tomashek

• My dinosaur obsessed five year old named our new three Blue, Charlie, and Delta. He calls them his pack of raptors. — Sarah Goodwin

• This year our new chicks are Shadow, Nightstorm, Angel, Summer, Ginger, Rosie, Bandit, Jewel, Pearl, Ruby, and Franchesca. Last year’s survivors are Anna (Elsa was killed by a neighbor’s dog), Thorn, Blackbeard, and two Barred Rocks with no/super fluid names. Our original flock are Prudence, Goldilocks, Snow White, Perry, Lulu, Henrietta, Napoleon. And roosters are Drumstick and Mr. Wattles. Can you tell I have kids? Ha Ha — Malissa Cline

• Roberta (after my husband), Henrietta, Ruby, April, Amelia, Ophelia, Clairetta, Red Wing, and Matilda who turned into Matthew once we learned he is a rooster! — Jamie Frazier-Olson

• Carl, Samantha, Juan, and Aflac! Juan is in the front. (The only one we can tell apart because of the light beak) Also, Juan might be Juanita! Started to hear quack sounds today. — Ashley Marie Rettig

Carl, Samantha, Juan, and Aflac — Ashley Marie Rettig

• I have three roosters named Bob, Not Bob, and Robert. Only two of the girls have names, Red (my Rhode Island Red) and Black Betty (Barred Rock) all the others are just Hey “Ladies.” — Heather Herendeen

• We have Benny & Joon, Wilma and Betty, Stella, Lola, Miss Prissy, Pj’s, Coffee, Teeth (the last 3 were named by our 5 year old), Yeller and Whitey (both named by our 3 year old). — Desi Becht

• Only named one of the 8 so far. Turns out she is blind. I named her Tillie. — Kelley Jane Kloub

Tillie — Kelley Jane Kloub

• Phoebe, Molly, Dixie, Penelope, Grace, Charlotte, Amelia, Coco, Olivia, Kate, Sophie. — Kathy Hansen Mulready

• My four kids ages 11, 9, 7, and 4 named ours: Vigorous, Peckster, Pep, Pipsqueak, Vinny, Cross Road,  Picket,  Freckles,  Cockadoodledoo,  Tips,  Beakster,  Robin,  Beaky,  Scarlet,  Ruby,  Cowie,  Cheeky, Pebbles, Drumstick, Clover, Mae, Penny, Tinsy, Zippy, Smalls, Merecy, Zigster, And our ducks: Duckie, Momo, Daisy Duck. — Amber Marie Wert

• Ken and Seven (# of toes!) Pictures here. Not seen are Gumdrop, Posey, Muffs, and Belle. — Meg McCreary Youngblood

Ken and Seven —Meg McCreary Youngblood

• Our ducks are Duck Duck and Ginger. Our chicks are Pup, Pinky Pie, Sweetie, Brownie, Sugar, and Spice. Named by my five and six year olds. — Kelly Hughes

• Buff Orpingtons are Bread and Butter. Light Brahmas are Vera and Francine. With my other hens the flock is known as Gladys and the Peeps. — Lucille Gardner

• Fluff, Emily (my 4 year old’s idea), Dorothy, Blanche, Popcorn and Moo Shu. — Emily Powell

• Cookie and Cream, Henny and Penny, Minnie, Daisy, and Clarebelle. — Sharon Krouse Miller

• Snicker and Doodle, Salt and Pepper, Dusty and Bunny, Luna and Star, Honey and Butter, Cinnamon and Sugar, and Sunny … we got a little carried away. — Sherri Grant

• Our Buff Orpington is Sunshine; Blue Ameracauna is Bluebelle; others are Sweetpea & Ladybug. — Gaylene Taylor Davidson

• Napoleon is my rooster, than Xena the warrior, she steals worms from the others, Katy, Gabrielle, Omelet, Annie, Oakley, Laverne and Petite. — Diane Zapka Christensen

• Vanilla, Cinnamon, Nutmeg and Ginger. — Irma Hladek

Vanilla, Cinnamon, Nutmeg and Ginger.

• Judy B Jones and Cupcake, named by my daughter. — Britni Davidson

• We have: Joan, Iris, Ester, Lucille, Ruby, Roxanne, Avaleach, Melissa, and Rosey. — Brenna Nicole

Joan, Iris, Ester, Lucille, Ruby, Roxanne, Avaleach, Melissa, and Rosey. — Brenna Nicole

• My current girls are Ethyl, Veronica, and Buffy. Previously: Biscuit (Leghorn), Cholula, Fiesta, Margarita, (Aracaunas), and Penny (Rhode Island Red)

• My kids named the buff Elvis and the leghorns are Huey, Duey, and Louie.

• My Red Star is Ruby. I have two Buff Orpingtons named Birdie and Betsy. My Four white Plywood Rocks are Ashley, Abby, Madison and Ruth Layer-Hensberg. — Rebecca Joy

• We got two adding to the group. Our first rooster we named Henry and Etta-leghorns (like Henrietta). — Dana Alexander-Brown

• We have speedy 1&2, we also have happy feet (chick was born with a deformed leg) and several others we have not named yet. — Jennifer Thompson

• We just got a Katie Scarlet, BlueBelle, Millie Justice, Effie Mae, and a Liberty Belle. — Shannon Briles Kana

• Dunkin (The Yorkie), Nugget (Top), Gossie (Left) and Bean (Right)! — Nicole Contos

Dunkin, Nugget, Gossie (Left) and Bean — Nicole Contos

• I have Panda, Cheek Cheek (my two year old named her), Nani, Goldiboks, Reese and Puff, and Dory. — Jessica Ogle

• I have four chicks named Jo, Meg, Rhonda, and Clarisse. Our granddaughter loves them! — Julie Sorenson

Jo, Meg, Rhonda, and Clarisse — Julie Sorenson

• Michelle, Junior and Belmont — Suzanne Morrell Crutcher

Michelle, Junior and Belmont — Suzanne Morrell Crutcher

• Miss Prissy, Peepers, Lucy, Sunshine, and Scarlet. We love them. — Glenda Szoka

• I quit naming after the first year. When I have nearly 100 birds… there is no keeping that straight. — Smantha Martin

• Cracker, Muffin, Cookies and Cream, Memphis, Phoenix, Ruffles, Hartley-Rose, Snowy, Black Beauty, GC, and BB. — Alyson Jayne

• Dottie Kay, Nellie Anne, and Ava Chanel (Ava cuz I love my truck – avalanche and both are black). — Robyn Smith-Demeuse

• Named my girls after my great, great aunts… Henrietta (Rhetta), Sophia (Hia), Matilda (Tilda) and Wilhelmina (Mina). — Heidi G. Malin

• Franny, Netty, Junebug, Bella, Winny, Snooki, Chippy and Jacqueline. The whole family got in on the naming process. — Bonnie Rolfes Duffy

Franny, Netty, Junebug, Bella, Winny, Snooki, Chippy and Jacqueline. — Bonnie Rolfes Duffy

• Amiga, Crazy Dot, lil’Peeper, Squirt, and the Barney’s. Who knows if they will stick. — Jody Eubanks

• My son named ours the bantam is flash the RIR is Supergirl and our Plymouth is Batgirl. — Kimberly Flenory

Batgirl and Supergirl — Kimberly Flenory

• Adele…. because she never stopped chirpin. — Aimee McGlinchey

• Amelia, my Cuckoo Maran. — Kathy Hansen Mulready

Amelia — Kathy Hansen-Mulready

• Anna and Elsa…guess who has a  granddaughter! — Rivkah B’racha

Anna and Elsa — Rivkah B’racha

• We have 10 girls, most have boy names though. Our girls are Nebucadnezzar, Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, Strider, Hay Hay, Benipe, Hope, Charlotte, and Marge. — Tricia Sengul

• My boys named our Silkie/Sultan X’s (from back to front) Yeti, Cotton, and Lash. Lash had buff colored fluff over eyes at birth. — Jennifer Fox-Malechikos

Silkie/Sultan X’s (from back to front), Yeti, Cotton, and Lash — Jennifer Fox-Malechikos

• Lacey the Golden Lace Wyndotte; Goldie the Buff Orpington; Pearl the Silver Grey Dorking; Easter the Cream Legbar; Chickaletta the Silver Laced Cochrin. — Sarah Haly

• I named each batch of new arrivals out of new friends I had made! But roosters were always Handsome. — Cecile Jordan

• Buttercup and Fluffy Butt, named by a 3 year old. — Linda Terrell Nunes

• Copper, Edith, Bernice, Aurora (after Shirley McLaine’s character in Terms of Endearment), Ella, Pepper, Henry, Olive, and Antonina — Anna Atwell

• My girls are Minnie, Daisy, Clarabelle, Owlette, Dorothy, Rose & Blanche. — Miranda Craig

• Crooked Toes, Chipmunk Extra Toes, Mohawk Extra Toes, The Penguin, and The Former Penguin — Jes Marie Stark

• Rosie and Ginger, RIRs; Summer and Autumn, Wellsummers; Stormy and Puff (Cochins) — Lauren Linares

Rosie, Ginger, Summer, Autumn, Stormy, and Puff — Lauren Linares

• Mary Poopins — Spruce Ledge Farms

• Caruso (may or may not be a pullet), Rene, Leonie and Kira. Have one more opera singer to go! — Judy Biller

• Sam and Ella. (Y’know, “samanella”) — Christie Fletcher Munsell

• Jasper and Cammi — Jim Desjardins

• Sweet Pea — Dana Adkins

Sweet Pea — Dana Adkins

• Belle — Miranda Holland

Belle — Miranda Holland

• We named her Hoot. — Cheryl Foster

• Louise — Jodi Vaske

• Susie Q (Curly) — Eliza Hoffman

Susie Q (Curly) — Eliza Hoffman

• Penelope, Daliah, Marigold and Beatrice — Lindsay Mc

• Chickel O’Neill, Bocko Brahma, Omelet — Sarah Spiegel

• Fleeker, Boomer, Flo, Chips and Cheese — Ang Joh

• Caden’s duckling is named Frank! — Sue McNaughton

• Hens: [Australorp] Madea; [Buff Orph] Girlie; [3 Red Sex Links] Lucille Ball; [Random brown dotted hen] Pinecone; [White something] Snow White; [Bantam Chick ] Cher; [female mallard duck] Duckiegirl; [indian runner duckling pair] Pancho & Cisco. — Carie Jarrell

• Albert

Albert — Nichole Langmeyer

• Our last lot were named Burger, Tikka & Nugget. — Melinda Maclay-Ross

• Inky, Heddy, Cotton & Blue. — Robyn Grace Jennings

• Polka and Dot, Maisy and Daisy, Pearl, Buck, Lorettie, Dolly — Billie Jo Maedke

• My Easter Egger is named Bunny. — Linda Marie

• Mother Clucker, Ruby, Mumble, and Flutters. — Amanda Bland

• My kids named ours Featherfluff, Featherball, and Featherywhite. — Sarah Ritchie

• Olive, Ginger, Sunny, Lulu, Cookie, Gracie, Pearl — Ana Crowley

• Fluffy — Karen Atteberry

• Layla, Jolene, Cecelia, Maggie May, Billie Jean and Roxanne — Jen Next

• Tom, Jerry, Egger, Midnight, Yedi and Yoda — DeeDee Bricker

• My four chicks are, Ena, Meena, Myna and Moe. — Loretta Aranha

• Cecila, Floyd Frizzles — Deborah Young

• Esther, Tamar, and May — Kimberly Gunlock Walter

• Stella, Crow, LuLu, and Clover — Mandy Hopper

• Farrah, Sassy, Spike, and Pee Wee. — Kathy Barnett

• Larry, Moe, and Curly — Donna Grayson

Larry, Moe, and Curly — Donna Grayson

• Maple — Jennifer Orme

Maple — Jennifer Orme

• The Chicken Nuggets: Amelia Egghart, Eggy Sue, and Henrietta. — Emily Samms

Amelia Egghart, Eggy Sue, and Henrietta — Emily Samms

• Chica Poo Poo’s: Dolly, Reba, Lucy, Bella, Violet, Winston, Remington, Caribou, Ruby — Teri Foster

Dolly, Reba, Lucy, Bella,Violet, Winston , Remington, Caribou, and Ruby. — Teri Foster

• First play date outside. Penelope. — Erin Carlson

Penelope — Erin Carlson

• Iris — Angelina Turnbull

Iris — Angelina Turnbull

• Our boys love Thomas the train so our girls are all Thomas the Train engines: Annie, Clarabell, Emily, Henrietta, and Rosie. — Deanna Poehlman

Annie, Clarabell, Emily, Henrietta, and Rosie — Deanna Poehlman

• My 3 girls named Buttercup, Tulip, & Violet.

Buttercup, Tulip, & Violet

• Pekin babies named Little Maggie, and Panda. — Jane Germain

Little Maggie and Panda — Jane Germain

• Easter Eggers for Easter named Sunshine and Lady. Sunshine is the lighter yellow and Lady is the one with her eye liner on, her roots done and her Beak is always yapping! — Stephanie Klein

Sunshine and Lady — Stephanie Klein

• The Newcomers: Eugene a Silkie, Logan a Silkie, Livean a Belgian Mille Fleur, Fleur a B. Mille Fleur, Millicent a B. Mille Fleur, and Spangler a Silver Sebright. — Esther Grummet

• Arg Matey! Bethoven, “Lil Miss B.” — Jamie Schreck

• Owl or chick??!! Meet Hoot. We thought she looked so much like an owl we named her Hoot. — Rachel Lindsey

Hoot — Rachel Lindsey

• Skittles — Brittany Sullivan

Skittles — Brittany Sullivan

Do you have good chicken names? Share them in the comments below!

List: The Best Chicken Names — A to Z was originally posted by All About Chickens

[skulldile]

Rant???

Alright, this is all about the Aphmau Fandom. I want to write this down hoping people understands how toxic some fans are, to other fans and, expecially, to the creators. Let’s divide this in parts 1) SHIP WARS it’s useless to fight over characters that don’t even exist, and first of all, why should you fight? Some fans follow the steps of bigger fan accounts which post their fanart about Jessica’s characters being shipped with other characters (even if they never interacted or, if they did, it wasn’t a nice interaction). For example: Ein x Kacey (Katelyn’s brother). This ship, under my eyes, it’s abuse: Ein hurted Kacey back in PDH, sending him straight to the hospital. Maybe they could say “But maybe Ein changed and felt sorry”. FALSE. you all saw what happened in TES and that’s it. This sounds like “forcing”. Let’s take something recent: Zane~Chan becoming canon. Most of ZanVis fans weren’t happy about this, but it is Jessica and the Studio’s decision and you can’t go after them, forcing them into making ZanVis canon instead of Zane~Chan, expecially after years and years of watching her stories. 2) AARMAU The main ship. Some fans want other -mau ships to happen, but this means Aph to cheat or break up with Aaron, so stop. I’m sorry for GarMau and LarMau shippers but those ships can’t happen anymore, you still have FanFiction. Also, there are many inconsistend fans out there. Remember when Aaron died in MCD? Or when he almost died in TES? Everyone was sad. Now that he has a lot of screens in Starlight, everyone hates him. Wow, where did your tears go? just, wow. 3) APHMAU MARY-SUE(?) For the one who don’t know what a mary-sue is, it is a character who is perfect in every way and everyone like her/him. Aphmau as a character grow up so much during time, in MS and MCD. She thinks that what happened is her fault and tries everthing to fix stuff. She isn’t a mary-sue, or she would not have so many character developments 4) CHARACTERS DISAPPEARING Some characters like Laurance, Vlyad and Gene (examples) haven’t got many screen times recently. This depends on if Jess wants to add them and/or if the voice actor can work. Right now, some characters can’t come back, since the vacation in Starlight is just for the characters that appeared in TES (except of KC, Travis and Katelyn for reasons). Instead of them, we have new characters like Aph’s dad and Katelyn’s mom, and the plot it’s getting more interesting. 5) ATTACKING JESSICA, JASON AND THE CREW Jason said on Tweeter that for sometime he used himself as a shield for protecting Jessica from the hate. You all should just look at yourself and think about what you are saying. In a blog, Jessica told everyone that the fandom for her is like a family, like children to her, that’s not how to repay her effort and her crew. NOT. Last year, she went in the hospital, this year as well because of stress. She interacts as much as she can with us. Her and Jason have two children, the crew has well has a family, don’t think they are some kind of machines because they are n o t. And i’m done

#aphmau #aphmau (character) #garroth ro'meave #zane ro'meave #aaron lycan #katelyn aphmau #kawaiichan #zanechan #katemau #zanemau #garmau #aphmau laurance #laurance zvahl #larmau #travis valkrum #travlyn #zanvis #garrence #mystreet #minecraft diaries #dreams of estorra #love love paradise #lover's lane #emerald secret #starlight wonderland #the emerald secret #aphmau gene #ein aphmau #einmau #aarmau

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 9 October 2017

My favourites this week are both endings; Rocket #6 by Al Ewing and Adam Gorham and The Woods #36 by James Tynion IV and Michael Dialynas. Published by Marvel and BOOM! Studios.

Since at least the “Grounded” relaunch/expansion of the Guardians of the Galaxy franchise titles, Marvel has been producing some extremely high quality, well-written, beautifully-illustrated series that I always feel cheated out of when they’re “cancelled” instead of rightfully referred to as limited series. Particularly those of these last two groupings including Star-Lord, Gamora, I Am Groot, and the two excellent Rocket Raccoon series, first Matthew Rosenberg and Jorge Coelho’s Rocket Raccoon, and now this, Al Ewing and Adam Gorham’s Rocket, which I’d wager could possibly be the best Rocket Raccoon series since Bill Mantlo and Mike Mignola’s series back in 1985 (which this series references and draws from).

Al Ewing crafted an interesting story with "The Blue River Score”, layering it in the genre trappings of a hard-boiled caper, including the typical hard-hitting narration of a Raymond Chandler or Richard Stark novel, a femme fatale in Otta Spice, and an impossible heist, and then mixing it with colourful “obscurish” Marvel characters like the members of Technet and setting it across the backdrop of the more zany corners of Marvel’s cosmos.

Rocket #6 even brings it back around to the original Rocket Raccoon mini-series and Rocket’s old continuity, behaviour, and such with the correlation a lot of people were probably wondering about regarding Otta and Rocket’s otter-love, Lylla, being revealed here as one and the same. Not only does it add Ewing’s penchant for mining the depths of continuity for story payoffs and inspiration, but it also makes the story resonate a bit more with emotional impact.

Adam Gorham’s artwork is wonderful. He excels at drawing strange and wonderful creatures, but also has an added roughness, a scratchiness to his linework that perfectly fits the hard-boiled narrative. His overall design sense, from page layout to panel transitions also make this fun to read. There appears to be extensive thought that’s going into how the story is being told, from both Ewing and Gorham, and it results in an immensely enjoyable comic.

Particularly, I think more comics, not just crime comics like Rocket here or much of Ed Brubaker’s work, could do with a “prose gutter”. I highly recommend this to people who love off-beat crime comics.

The Woods #36 is the conclusion to a series that has dabbled in horror, fantasy, and sci-fi, but at its heart has always been a coming of age tale centred around the kids who had their whole world upended by being stolen away to a strange and dangerous realm on the other side of the universe. The ending is suitably epic as the former children show that they’ve truly grown and matured as they fight to find their way home.

Michael Dialynas has been delivering some incredible art since the series began, but these last few issues have been truly breathtaking. The double-page spreads this issue alone, juxtaposing two different types of battle going on are a treat, showing an ability to make both the quiet character moments and the high action compelling and interesting visually.

The story James Tynion IV has been telling is largely one about growth and change, of transformation through adversity, and occasionally needing to fail. The finale throws the biggest roadblocks and gives the opportunity to show how far the characters have come since that first issue, even antagonists like Adrian get a chance to shine.

This issue also shows how seamlessly Dialynas and Tynion have grown as collaborators. The scene between Isaac and Ben works well both in dialogue and in art, giving a huge emotional impact both in how it appears and in the heartfelt conversation.

Overall, this has been a great series and this is a very satisfying conclusion.

Quick Bits:

Atomahawk #0 collects the shorts that ran previously in Heavy Metal. While a new series is being published in Image+, this is a good time to pick up what came earlier in one place. Aside from just a balls to wall story from Donny Cates, Ian Bederman’s art remains phenomenal. His style reminds me a lot of Peter Kuper and the way that he constructs his characters, action, and page layouts are just fantastic. Highly recommend this special and the serial in Image+.

| Published by Image

Babyteeth #5 gives us one of those game-changing reveals that Donny Cates should be known for producing now based on at the very least Redneck and God Country. Sadie’s world just got a whole lot bigger and a whole lot stranger as she starts getting clued in to what’s going on with her and her baby.

| Published by AfterShock

Birthright #27 reminds me that I probably don’t talk about the colourists enough. Take, for instance, Adriano Lucas’ work here. Andrei Bressan’s linework would still look good, but it’s Lucas’ colours that really elevate the story and put us in a more magical reality with a shift here from standard “realistic” colours to the brighter, softer, and more colourful world inside a more fantastical realm. It just shows the impact that the colourist has on the overall tone and atmosphere of the book.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Daredevil #27 continues the twisting arc of DD’s mentoring of Blindspot since the beginning of this volume. Charles Soule gives us a more thorough backstory for Blindspot and reveals what has happened since the “Dark Art” story-arc. It’s pretty...um...dark.

| Published by Marvel

The Dying & The Dead #6 is still the most beautiful, possibly inscrutable, hidden history comic being published. 

| Published by Image

The Family Trade #1 is something different. And pretty fantastic. The premise and setting of the Float, a kind of extension of some of the politics of the Italian city-states during the time of the Renaissance, is brilliant, serving as a perfect backdrop to the populist political allegory that Justin Jordan and Nikki Reed are presenting here. The characters, and the idea of a family of assassins meant to keep society in check is also compelling, particularly the lead, (Jessa Wynn, who I’m fairly sure isn’t even named in the first issue, I grabbed it from the solicitation info), in her somewhat bumbling way.

Morgan Beem’s art also adds greatly to the overall feel and tone of this world. She has an art style that looks highly influenced by European artists, with a soft watercolour palette atop, achieving a very distinctive look for the comic.

Oh, and there’s “talking” cats. Every book should have talking cats. Every one.

| Published by Image

GI Joe #9 concludes this volume from Aubrey Sitterson and Giannis Milonogiannis. The end features some really nice action in the art from Milonogiannis. It’s nice to also get another series up to speed finally for the First Strike crossover, even though the GI Joe: First Strike comic that also comes after this series is already out. ROM looks like it’s the only hold out still before I can finally start reading that. The other highlight of this issue being the revelation of the new Cobra Commander.

| Published by IDW

God Complex: Dogma #1 is an impressive looking comic. The artwork from Hendry Prasetya is slick and layered in thick solid blacks, highly suitable to the futuristic mystery presented in the story, which is then elevated by the colours and sheen that Jessica Kholinne adds on top. Visually, it perfectly evokes that kind of Blade Runner feel. 

The story is also pretty interesting, Paul Jenkins hooks us fairly well with the murder and mystery of the Church of Trinity. The mix of a mysterious, possibly fictitious “one god” and the real, tangible deities of Delphi’s Rulers is something we’ve seen variations on before, but it’s still a compelling examination of faith vs. direct knowledge. The world, based on Glitch’s toy line, is fairly broad. The lead, Seneca, serves as a bridge between the two aspects and Jenkins delivers a little twist on the narrative partway through that has you reexamine the narration itself, making you go back and re-read the comic in that different light.

| Published by Image / Top Cow - Glitch

Grass Kings #8 focuses on Pike and his backstory, giving depth to the Grass Kingdom’s man of few words. In addition to his history, it also serves as a broadening of the mystery of the potential serial killer among the people, showing the other perspective of the conversation from last issue regarding Ms. Handel’s “suicide”, making us question even more.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Harbinger Renegade #8 finally gives us the reunion of Kris and her parents, a plotline dating back right to the first story-arc. As has been the case for much of this series, it’s not exactly pleasant. It is, however, still satisfying and probably one of the happier moments in the series, even if bittersweet. The push towards Harbinger Wars 2 is also more apparent, with a drive for a Renegade army and training becoming more imperative. Animalia is also one scary little kid.

| Published by Valiant

Harrow County #26 is heartbreaking, even if you’ve grown to hate the character who dies this issue, it’s still heartbreaking. Kammi’s assault on Emmy’s life, friends, and whole world grows this issue, even with the devastating blow in the beginning of the issue, and it raises the question as to how far Kammi is going to take it, how much more loss the series is going to deliver, and what it might drive Emmy to do. Cullen Bunn and Tyler Crook are firing on all cylinders with this arc.

| Published by Dark Horse

Hulk #11 is another dramatic shift in tone, suddenly reintroducing Jen’s ability to break the fourth wall, hitting for a story that is more humorous in tone, and in some cases being silly, as the last issue before the Marvel Legacy “relaunch” back to She-Hulk and legacy issue number. Personally, I’m not sure I like it. It’s by no means bad, but it’s still a dramatic departure from the more serious “Deconstructed” arc and continuing with the more ridiculous aspects of the last arc with the food vloggers. It works for what it’s going for, recapturing some of the humour that previous incarnations of She-Hulk have presented, I just find it a bit of a jarring change.

| Published by Marvel

Jimmy’s Bastards #4 finally clues in the leads as to what we’ve known since the announcement of the series. This issue also hammers home that I think the wider joke of Garth Ennis’ black humour and piss-take of current identity politics is missing the mark.

| Published by AfterShock

Mech Cadet Yu #3 is still every bit as fun and heartfelt as the previous two issues, this remains an incredible all ages story with giant robots and invading bugs. Greg Pak has created a character in Stanford Yu that you just can’t help but smile at his stumbles and achievements, so incredibly likeable that you want to read more as soon as the issue’s finished. Takeshi Miyazawa also gets to reveal the Sharg this issue, setting up what looks like a battle between the cadets and the monsters for next issue.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Noble #5 is my first issue of this series and I feel in a similar position to ostensibly the POV character, Astrid Allen, a little in the dark. Brandon Thomas uses an unreliable narrator in Lorena Payan explaining to Astrid what has been going on with her husband, the titular Noble, and the changes that have turned him into a superhero and it’s fairly compelling. Certainly enough that I decided to pre-order the Noble: God Shots book out later this month collecting the first four issues. I wonder how this issue’s reality and the previous issues will align. The artwork from Jamal Igle is a high point. The action scenes of Noble trying to save a commercial airliner are particularly well done.

I also have to say that how they’re numbering these books is also interesting. They’ve got a main issue number for the overall series, but they’ve also got a volume and issue number for story-arc/trade as this is Volume 2, Number 1. It makes story delineations fairly easy to see where breaks and potential jumping-on points occur.

| Published by Lion Forge / Catalyst Prime

Optimus Prime #11 begins the “Primeless” arc, acting as a kind of non-branded tie-in to the First Strike event, covering what’s happening to the Cybertronians on Earth cut-off from Cybertron and left in the dark. I haven’t begun reading the First Strike crossover yet, as I’m still waiting for the last issue of ROM to land to be up to speed, but it doesn’t feel as though I’m missing anything here having not read it yet. In fact, in some ways, it puts me in a similar position to the characters in the book as I don’t know what’s happening either. In any event, John Barber does a good job of ratcheting up the tension between the different factions on Earth and amongst the rest of the Council of Worlds. I also need to reiterate that there really should be at the very least a Thundercracker mini-series.

| Published by IDW

Redlands #3 shifts point of view to Laurent, a bounty hunter without a license, gator man, and apparent lover of Bridget of the coven, who was introduced as a prisoner in the first issue. I really like how Jordie Bellaire is telling this story, in somewhat non-linear waves that keep rippling outward introducing new characters and interactions while still advancing the overall plot. The epistolary backmatter of clippings of gator man sightings and how to field dress a deer are also interesting touches. It adds a nice depth to the world.

And as since the first issue Vanessa Del Rey’s artwork is incredible. Dark, moody, and at turns erotic. This book is pretty much as sensual as it is horrific and bloody, and I think that’s a very welcome choice from Bellaire and Del Rey for this story.

| Published by Image

Retcon #2 is still...something. Between the first two issues, we’ve got some kind of government conspiracy involving black ops superhuman/magic-user teams. That seems pretty straight-forward and is fairly interesting. The problem is that the interviews and backmatter with the creators imply that they’re doing something else with the series and that just doesn’t come through in the narrative. So, if you’re looking for something that kind of taps the same vein as Doom Patrol meets Automatic Kafka, this is up your alley.

| Published by Image

Royal City #6 kicks off a new arc set in 1993, delving into the teenage years of the Pike children, back when Tommy was still alive. Jeff Lemire’s story gets more layers to it as it shows the personalities of the children in their genesis, and starts easily putting together some of the pieces as to what we’re going to see happen in the first arc, including Richie’s girlfriend, Tara’s relationship with Steve, their mother’s affair, and maybe what happened to Tommy. Lemire is great at weird, and great at small town family dynamics, and this series puts them all together in a beautiful illusory package.

| Published by Image

Sheena: Queen of the Jungle #2 adds some more depth to the story and more mysteries as Sheena chances upon the guy who’s been watching with drones and the two of them stumble upon unknown ancient temples in the jungle. Marguerite Bennett and Christina Trujillo are still treading common ground, but it’s still entertaining and they’ve managed to make Sheena a fairly interesting character in her own right, and, with Moritat’s art, great to look at.

| Published by Dynamite

Star Wars: Doctor Aphra #13 concludes the “Enormous Profit” arc and with it Kieron Gillen & Kev Walker’s run on the title. Gillen will apparently be back to co-write the next issue before fully transitioning to the main Star Wars title and I’m not sure what Walker is doing next. Suitably this issue features some nice action, some duplicitous intrigue, and the trademark sardonic humour. What the murderbots, Triple-Zero and BeeTee-One, have up their sleeves after being unshackled of morality earlier in this arc is a frightening prospect.

| Published by Marvel

Wormwood - Gentleman Corpse: Mr. Wormwood Goes to Washington #1 brings back Ben Templesmith’s comedy horror opus to tackle corruption in politics and it’s a very welcome return. It’s ridiculous, it’s over the top, and it’s actually scary that the bigoted plutocrat scrambling for more power in politics is now a believable reality and not just a caricature.

| Published by IDW

Other Highlights: All-New Wolverine #25, Alters #7, Amazing Spider-Man #789, Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows #12, Baking with Kafka, Black Science #32, Defenders #6, Despicable Deadpool #287, Eternal Empire #5, Falcon #1, First Strike #5, Inhumans: Once & Future Kings #3, Lazaretto #2, Runaways #2, Sacred Creatures #4, Scales & Scoundrels #2, Slam!: The Next Jam #2, Star Trek: Boldly Go #12, The Unbelievable Gwenpool #21, Uncanny Avengers #27, The Wicked & The Divine #32, X-Men Blue #13 

Recommended Collections: Animosity - Volume Two, Black Cloud - Volume One: No Exit, Coady & The Creepies, Harrow County - Volume Six: Hedge Magic, Ladycastle, Low - Volume Four: Outer Aspects of Inner Attitudes, Secret Warriors - Volume One: Secret Empire, Seven to Eternity - Volume Two, Star Wars: Screaming Citadel, TMNT Universe - Volume Two: New Strangeness

d. emerson eddy can both walk and chew gum. If he tries really hard, sometimes he can even achieve both at the same time. But only sometimes.

#This Week in Comics #Rocket 6 #Al Ewing #Adam Gorham #The Woods 36 #James Tynion IV #Michael Dialynas

[suju-bangtan]

I got an ask to make a list of kpop songs I'd suggest to my followers, so here it is! I just went through my iTunes library which led me to find out its highly outdated for some groups which I plan to fix soon. Its...a pretty long list of songs. I didn't include some groups (EXO, BTS, Suju, Seventeen, 2ne1, SNSD, etc) because I'd figure they'd be know to most people and the list would be even longer than it is now. And I more than likely forgot to add in some groups because they aren't in my library yet; I can add them in later if you want.

And feel free to add to this list! I'm always looking for new groups to love!!

As:

A.C.E – Cactus

A6P – Face Off

Ailee- U&I, I’ll Show You, Home, Don’t Touch Me

AKMU – Dinosaur

AOA – Can’t Sleep, Help Me, Bing Bing, Excuse Me, Good Luck, Heart Attack, Like A Cat

Bs:

B.A.P – Feels So Good, 1004(angel), Ribbon in the Sky, Distopia, Warrior, One Shot, Skydive, Wake Me Up, Badman

BEAST/HIGHLIGHT – Beautiful Night, Shock, Can you feel it?, Plz don’t be sad, Good Luck, YeY

Block B – Nalina, Very Good, Jack Pot, Her, Toy, Nillili Mambo

BoA - Camo

Boyfriend - Witch

Boy’s Republic – Get Down

Brave Girls - Rollin’

BTOB – WoW, Thriller, Movie, Second Confession, Monday to Sunday, Insane

BULLDOK – Why Not

Cs:

Cheon Dung(Thunder) – Sign

Chungha – Why don’t you know

CLC – Meow Meow, Liar, Mistake, Where are you?

CNBLUE – Cant Stop, Sorry

Ds:

DAY6 – I’m Serious, What Can I Do, I Wait, Dance Dance, I Smile, and honestly all of their are so good

DEAN – Bonnie & Clyde, 21, Pour Up, Love (ft Syd)

D&E(Suju) – Growing Pains, Beat Goes On, Still You, 1+1=LOVE, Can you feel it?, all their songs are amazing but majority are in japanese

DREAMCATCHER – Chase Me, Good Night, Fly High, Wake Up, Sleep-Walking

Es:

EXID – Night Rather Than Day, How Why, L.I.E, Ah Yeah

Fs:

F(X) – All Mine, 4 Walls, Electric Shock, Red Light, Nu Abo, Rainbow

FTISLAND – Pray, Take Me Now

Gs:

GFRIEND – Love Whisper, Fingertip, Rough, Navillera

Girls’ Day – I’ll Be Yours, Darling, Love Again, Expect, Female President

Glime x Outsider – Love is War

Grace – Trick or Treat, I’m Fine, Zombie High

Hs:

HELLO VENUS – I’m Ill, Mysterious

History – Queen

Hyolyn – Paradise, Blue Moon (ft Changmo)

Hyuna – Roll Deep, How’s This, Change

Is:

iKON – Dumb and Dumber, Bling Bling, B Day

Infinite – Bad, The eye

Js:

Jessica – Fly, Wonderland, Summer Storm

Jinusean – Tell me one more time

Ks:

KARD – OH Na Na, Recall, Rumor, Hola Hola

KARA – Step, Mamma Mia, Cupid

KNK – Rain, Sun Moon Star, Knock

Ls:

The Legend – Shadow, Crush on You

Luna – Free Somebody, galaxy

Ms:

M.A.P6 – I’m Ready

Madtown – YOLO

MBLAQ – Y, This is War, Smokey Girl, Mona Lisa, Run, Stay

Minzy – Ninano

Monsta X – Hero, All in, fighter, Beautiful, Shine Forever, Newton, Tresspass, Calm Down, Oi, Ready or Not

MYTEEN – Amazing, You-Reka

Ns:

NCT – Running 2 U, 7th sense, firetruck, limitless, 0 mile, we young, chewing gum, whiplash, summer 127

Nine Muses(9muses) – Love City, Remember, Pastry, Hurt Locker

N.Flying – The Real

N-Sonic – Excalibur

Nu’est – Face, Sleep Walking, Love Paint, Action

Os:

ONF – On/Off, Difficult, Cat’s Waltz

Ps:

Pentagon – Gorilla, Can You feel it?, Critical Beauty

Pristin - We Like

Rs:

The Rose – Sorry

Ss:

Samuel – Sixteen

SF9 – ROAR, Fanfare, Easy Love

SHINHWA – Perfect Man, This Love, Touch, Venus

SNUPER – Back:Hug

SONAMOO – Cushion, Friday Night

Stellar – Archangels of the Sephiroth, The Wave, Why Me

Ts:

T-ara – What’s My Name, sugar free, roly poly, lovey dovey, bo peep bo peep

Teen Top – Love is, rocking, miss right, supa love, no more perfume on you, I wanna love, Im going crazy

Ten – Dream in a Dream

Topp Dogg – Arario, Fever, Open the door, Follow me, Playground

Two X - Over

Us:

U-KISS – Shut up!, Man Man Ha Ni, Doradora, Neverland, Tick Toc

Up10tion – Runner

Vs:

Vermuda – Dream Girl

Ws:

WINNER – Really Really, Love Me Love Me, Island

Zs:

ZICO – Eureka, Boys and Girls, Bermuda Triangle

Zion.T – Yanghwa Brgd, The Song

#s:

24k – Bingo, Still 24k, Super Fly, Only You

2PM – Go Crazy, My House, Heartbeat, Again and Again, Hands Up

#idk how to even tag this #kpop #kpop songs #kpop groups #???? #lol im at a lost on what to tag #rip #might redo the tags later if I can think of something

[bluewatsons]

Jessica Bennett, On Campus, Failure Is on the Syllabus, New York Times (June 24, 2017)

NORTHAMPTON, Mass. — Last year, during fall orientation at Smith College, and then again recently at final-exam time, students who wandered into the campus hub were faced with an unfamiliar situation: the worst failures of their peers projected onto a large screen.

“I failed my first college writing exam,” one student revealed.

“I came out to my mom, and she asked, ‘Is this until graduation?’” another said.

The faculty, too, contributed stories of screwing up.

“I failed out of college,” a popular English professor wrote. “Sophomore year. Flat-out, whole semester of F’s on the transcript, bombed out, washed out, flunked out.”

“I drafted a poem entitled ‘Chocolate Caramels,’ ” said a literature and American studies scholar, who noted that it “has been rejected by 21 journals … so far.”

This was not a hazing ritual, but part of a formalized program at the women’s college in which participants more accustomed to high test scores and perhaps a varsity letter consent to having their worst setbacks put on wide display.

“It was almost jarring,” said Carrie Lee Lancaster, 20, a rising junior. “On our campus, everything can feel like such a competition, I think we get caught up in this idea of presenting an image of perfection. So to see these failures being talked about openly, for me I sort of felt like, ‘O.K., this is O.K., everyone struggles.’”

The presentation is part of a new initiative at Smith, “Failing Well,” that aims to “destigmatize failure.” With workshops on impostor syndrome, discussions on perfectionism, as well as a campaign to remind students that 64 percent of their peers will get (gasp) a B-minus or lower, the program is part of a campuswide effort to foster student “resilience,” to use a buzzword of the moment.

“What we’re trying to teach is that failure is not a bug of learning, it’s the feature,” said Rachel Simmons, a leadership development specialist in Smith’s Wurtele Center for Work and Life and a kind of unofficial “failure czar” on campus. “It’s not something that should be locked out of the learning experience. For many of our students — those who have had to be almost perfect to get accepted into a school like Smith — failure can be an unfamiliar experience. So when it happens, it can be crippling.”

Ms. Simmons would know. She hid her own failure (dropping out of a prestigious scholarship program in her early 20s; told by her college president that she had embarrassed her school) for close to a decade. “For years, I thought it would ruin me,” she said.

Which is why, when students enroll in her program, they receive a certificate of failure upon entry, a kind of permission slip to fail. It reads: “You are hereby authorized to screw up, bomb or fail at one or more relationships, hookups, friendships, texts, exams, extracurriculars or any other choices associated with college … and still be a totally worthy, utterly excellent human.”

A number of students proudly hang it from their dormitory walls.

Preoccupied in the 1980s with success at any cost (think Gordon Gekko), the American business world now fetishizes failure, thanks to technology experimentalist heroes like Steve Jobs. But while the idea of “failing upward” has become a badge of honor in the start-up world — with blog posts, TED talks, even industry conferences — students are still focused on conventional metrics of achievement, campus administrators say.

Nearly perfect on paper, with résumés packed full of extracurricular activities, they seemed increasingly unable to cope with basic setbacks that come with college life: not getting a room assignment they wanted, getting wait-listed for a class or being rejected by clubs.

“We’re not talking about flunking out of pre-med or getting kicked out of college,” Ms. Simmons said. “We’re talking about students showing up in residential life offices distraught and inconsolable when they score less than an A-minus. Ending up in the counseling center after being rejected from a club. Students who are unable to ask for help when they need it, or so fearful of failing that they will avoid taking risks at all.”

Almost a decade ago, faculty at Stanford and Harvard coined the term “failure deprived” to describe what they were observing: the idea that, even as they were ever more outstanding on paper, students seemed unable to cope with simple struggles. “Many of our students just seemed stuck,” said Julie Lythcott-Haims, the former dean of freshmen at Stanford and the author of “How to Raise an Adult.”

They soon began connecting the dots: between what they were seeing anecdotally — the lack of coping skills — and what mental health data had shown for some time, including, according to the American College Health Association, an increase in depression and anxiety, overwhelming rates of stress and more demand for counseling services than campuses can keep up with.

It was Cornell that, in 2010 after a wave of student suicides, declared that it would be an “obligation of the university” to help students learn life skills. Not long after, Stanford started an initiative called the Resilience Project, in which prominent alumni recounted academic setbacks, recording them on video. “It was an attempt to normalize struggle,” Ms. Lythcott-Haims said.

A consortium of academics soon formed to share resources, and programs have quietly proliferated since then: the Success-Failure Project at Harvard, which features stories of rejection; the Princeton Perspective Project, encouraging conversation about setbacks and struggles; Penn Faces at the University of Pennsylvania, a play on the term used by students to describe those who have mastered the art of appearing happy even when struggling.

“There is this kind of expectation on students at a lot of these schools to be succeeding on every level: academically, socially, romantically, in our family lives, in our friendships,” said Emily Hoeven, a recent graduate who helped start the project in her junior year. “And also sleep eight hours a night, look great, work out and post about it all on social media. We wanted to show that life is not that perfect.”

At the University of Texas, Austin, there is now a free iPhone app, Thrive, that helps students “manage the ups and downs of campus life” through short videos and inspirational quotes. The University of California, Los Angeles has what it calls a head of student resilience on staff. While at Davidson College, a liberal arts school in North Carolina, there is a so-called failure fund, a series of $150 to $1,000 grants for students who want to pursue a creative endeavor, with no requirements that the idea be viable or work. “We encourage students to learn from their mistakes and lean into their failure,” the program’s news release states.

“For a long time, I think we assumed that this was the stuff that was automatically learned in childhood: that everyone struck out at the baseball diamond or lost the student council race,” said Donna Lisker, Smith’s dean of the college and vice president for student life. “The idea that an 18-year-old doesn’t know how to fail on the one hand sounds preposterous. But I think in many ways we’ve pulled kids away from those natural learning experiences.”

And so, universities are engaging in a kind of remedial education that involves talking, a lot, about what it means to fail.

“I think colleges are revamping what they believe it means to be well educated — that it’s not about your ability to write a thesis statement, but to bounce back when you’re told it doesn’t measure up,” said Ms. Simmons, the author of two books on girls’ self-esteem who is publishing a third, “Enough as She Is,” next year. “Especially now, with the current economy, students need tools to pivot between jobs, between careers, to work on short-term projects, to be self-employed. These are crucial life skills.”

If it all feels a bit like a “Portlandia” sketch, that’s because it actually was one: in which Fred and Carrie decide to hire a bully to teach grit to students, one who uses padded gym mats to make sure the children don’t actually get hurt.

Add “teaching failure” to nap pods (yes, those exist) and campus petting zoos (also common), and you’ve got to wonder, as a cover story in Psychology Today questioned last year: At what point do colleges end up more like mental health wards than institutions of higher learning?

“Look, I don’t think there’s anything fundamentally wrong with trying to create experiences that are calming,” said Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist at Penn. “But I’d like to spend a bit more time figuring out what’s causing those stresses.”

Researchers say it’s a complicated interplay of child-rearing and culture: years of helicopter-parenting and micromanaging by anxious parents. “This is the generation that everyone gets a trophy,” said Rebecca Shaw, Smith’s director of residence life. College admissions mania, in which many middle- and upper-class students must navigate what Ms. Simmons calls a “‘Hunger Games’-like mentality” where the preparation starts early, the treadmill never stops and the stakes can feel impossibly high.

It is fear about the economy — Is the American dream still a possibility? Will I be able to get a job after graduation? — and added pressure to succeed felt by first-generation and low-income students: of being the first in their families to go to college; of having to send money home; or simply overcoming the worry that, as one engineering student put it, “maybe I was a quota.”

“I’m coming from a low-income, predominantly African-American community where there just aren’t resources,” said Arabia Simeon, 19, a junior at Smith. “So there is this added pressure of needing to do well.”

And there’s the adjustment, for many high-achieving students, of no longer being “the best and brightest” on campus, said Amy Jordan, the associate dean for undergraduate studies at Penn. Or what Smithies call “special snowflake syndrome.”

“We all came from high schools where we were all the exception to the rule — we were kind of special in some way, or people told us that,” said Cai Sherley, 20, seated in the campus cafe. Around her, Zoleka Mosiah, Ms. Simeon and Ms. Lancaster nodded in agreement. “So you get here and of course you want to recreate that,” Ms. Sherley said. “But here, everybody’s special. So nobody is special.”

Social media doesn’t help, because while students may know logically that no one goes through college or, let’s be honest, life without screw-ups, it can be pretty easy to convince yourself, by way of somebody else’s feed, “that everyone but you is a star,” said Jaycee Greeley, 19, a sophomore.

It is also a culture that has glorified being busy — or at the very least conflates those things with status. “There’s this idea that I’m not worthy if I’m not stressed and overwhelmed,” said Stacey Steinbach, a residential life coordinator at Smith. “And in some sense to not be stressed is a failing.”

It’s what Ms. Simmons calls “competitive stress”: the subject of her afternoon workshop on the campus lawn, to which she was luring students with ice cream and bingo.

When students arrived, the sundaes were there. But the bingo cards were a little different — filled with things like “I have 20 pages to write tonight,” “I’m too busy to eat” and “I’m so dead.” It was called “Stress Olympics.”

“It’s basically a play on competitive suffering,” said Casey Hecox, a 20-year-old junior. “It’s when we’re like, ‘I have three tests tomorrow.’ And then someone’s like, ‘I have five tests tomorrow, and all I’ve eaten is 5-hour Energy, and my dog is sick.’”

With only a few weeks before school was to let out, the stress pinwheel over summer internships and jobs — applications, recommendations, networking — was already at a steady buzz. What if they didn’t get one? Or the right one? “I’m not used to the whole ‘summer job’ concept, and I found the process quite intimidating,” said Ms. Mosiah, 21, a sophomore. “I had to ask for help from my friends and the on-campus resources to work through this. I’m not used to asking for help or being rejected this often, so I was really taken aback.”

Ms. Lancaster said, “Sometimes it’s hard not to take each and every rejection letter as a failure, but I’m trying to stay positive.”

Whatever happens, there will be plenty of time to talk about it when students return to campus in the fall.

#high education #society #academia #failure #the way we live now #young adulthood

[newstfionline]

On Campus, Failure Is on the Syllabus

By Jessica Bennett, NY Times, June 24, 2017

NORTHAMPTON, Mass.--Last year, during fall orientation at Smith College, and then again recently at final-exam time, students who wandered into the campus hub were faced with an unfamiliar situation: the worst failures of their peers projected onto a large screen.

“I failed my first college writing exam,” one student revealed.

The faculty, too, contributed stories of screwing up.

“I failed out of college,” a popular English professor wrote. “Sophomore year. Flat-out, whole semester of F’s on the transcript, bombed out, washed out, flunked out.”

“I drafted a poem entitled ‘Chocolate Caramels,’ “ said a literature and American studies scholar, who noted that it “has been rejected by 21 journals … so far.”

This was not a hazing ritual, but part of a formalized program at the women’s college in which participants more accustomed to high test scores and perhaps a varsity letter consent to having their worst setbacks put on wide display.

“It was almost jarring,” said Carrie Lee Lancaster, 20, a rising junior. “On our campus, everything can feel like such a competition, I think we get caught up in this idea of presenting an image of perfection. So to see these failures being talked about openly, for me I sort of felt like, ‘O.K., this is O.K., everyone struggles.’”

The presentation is part of a new initiative at Smith, “Failing Well,” that aims to “destigmatize failure.” With workshops on impostor syndrome, discussions on perfectionism, as well as a campaign to remind students that 64 percent of their peers will get (gasp) a B-minus or lower, the program is part of a campuswide effort to foster student “resilience,” to use a buzzword of the moment.

“What we’re trying to teach is that failure is not a bug of learning, it’s the feature,” said Rachel Simmons, a leadership development specialist in Smith’s Wurtele Center for Work and Life and a kind of unofficial “failure czar” on campus. “It’s not something that should be locked out of the learning experience. For many of our students--those who have had to be almost perfect to get accepted into a school like Smith--failure can be an unfamiliar experience. So when it happens, it can be crippling.”

Ms. Simmons would know. She hid her own failure (dropping out of a prestigious scholarship program in her early 20s; told by her college president that she had embarrassed her school) for close to a decade. “For years, I thought it would ruin me,” she said.

Which is why, when students enroll in her program, they receive a certificate of failure upon entry, a kind of permission slip to fail. It reads: “You are hereby authorized to screw up, bomb or fail at one or more relationships, hookups, friendships, texts, exams, extracurriculars or any other choices associated with college … and still be a totally worthy, utterly excellent human.”

A number of students proudly hang it from their dormitory walls.

Preoccupied in the 1980s with success at any cost (think Gordon Gekko), the American business world now fetishizes failure, thanks to technology experimentalist heroes like Steve Jobs. But while the idea of “failing upward” has become a badge of honor in the start-up world--with blog posts, TED talks, even industry conferences--students are still focused on conventional metrics of achievement, campus administrators say.

Nearly perfect on paper, with résumés packed full of extracurricular activities, they seemed increasingly unable to cope with basic setbacks that come with college life: not getting a room assignment they wanted, getting wait-listed for a class or being rejected by clubs.

“We’re not talking about flunking out of pre-med or getting kicked out of college,” Ms. Simmons said. “We’re talking about students showing up in residential life offices distraught and inconsolable when they score less than an A-minus. Ending up in the counseling center after being rejected from a club. Students who are unable to ask for help when they need it, or so fearful of failing that they will avoid taking risks at all.”

Almost a decade ago, faculty at Stanford and Harvard coined the term “failure deprived” to describe what they were observing: the idea that, even as they were ever more outstanding on paper, students seemed unable to cope with simple struggles. “Many of our students just seemed stuck,” said Julie Lythcott-Haims, the former dean of freshmen at Stanford and the author of “How to Raise an Adult.”

They soon began connecting the dots: between what they were seeing anecdotally--the lack of coping skills--and what mental health data had shown for some time, including, according to the American College Health Association, an increase in depression and anxiety, overwhelming rates of stress and more demand for counseling services than campuses can keep up with.

It was Cornell that, in 2010 after a wave of student suicides, declared that it would be an “obligation of the university” to help students learn life skills. Not long after, Stanford started an initiative called the Resilience Project, in which prominent alumni recounted academic setbacks, recording them on video. “It was an attempt to normalize struggle,” Ms. Lythcott-Haims said.

A consortium of academics soon formed to share resources, and programs have quietly proliferated since then: the Success-Failure Project at Harvard, which features stories of rejection; the Princeton Perspective Project, encouraging conversation about setbacks and struggles; Penn Faces at the University of Pennsylvania, a play on the term used by students to describe those who have mastered the art of appearing happy even when struggling.

“There is this kind of expectation on students at a lot of these schools to be succeeding on every level: academically, socially, romantically, in our family lives, in our friendships,” said Emily Hoeven, a recent graduate who helped start the project in her junior year. “And also sleep eight hours a night, look great, work out and post about it all on social media. We wanted to show that life is not that perfect.”

“For a long time, I think we assumed that this was the stuff that was automatically learned in childhood: that everyone struck out at the baseball diamond or lost the student council race,” said Donna Lisker, Smith’s dean of the college and vice president for student life. “The idea that an 18-year-old doesn’t know how to fail on the one hand sounds preposterous. But I think in many ways we’ve pulled kids away from those natural learning experiences.”

And so, universities are engaging in a kind of remedial education that involves talking, a lot, about what it means to fail.

“I think colleges are revamping what they believe it means to be well educated--that it’s not about your ability to write a thesis statement, but to bounce back when you’re told it doesn’t measure up,” said Ms. Simmons, the author of two books on girls’ self-esteem who is publishing a third, “Enough as She Is,” next year. “Especially now, with the current economy, students need tools to pivot between jobs, between careers, to work on short-term projects, to be self-employed. These are crucial life skills.”

If it all feels a bit like a “Portlandia” sketch, that’s because it actually was one: in which Fred and Carrie decide to hire a bully to teach grit to students, one who uses padded gym mats to make sure the children don’t actually get hurt.

Add “teaching failure” to nap pods (yes, those exist) and campus petting zoos (also common), and you’ve got to wonder, as a cover story in Psychology Today questioned last year: At what point do colleges end up more like mental health wards than institutions of higher learning?

“Look, I don’t think there’s anything fundamentally wrong with trying to create experiences that are calming,” said Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist at Penn. “But I’d like to spend a bit more time figuring out what’s causing those stresses.”

Researchers say it’s a complicated interplay of child-rearing and culture: years of helicopter-parenting and micromanaging by anxious parents. “This is the generation that everyone gets a trophy,” said Rebecca Shaw, Smith’s director of residence life. College admissions mania, in which many middle- and upper-class students must navigate what Ms. Simmons calls a “‘Hunger Games’-like mentality” where the preparation starts early, the treadmill never stops and the stakes can feel impossibly high.

And there’s the adjustment, for many high-achieving students, of no longer being “the best and brightest” on campus, said Amy Jordan, the associate dean for undergraduate studies at Penn. Or what Smithies call “special snowflake syndrome.”

“We all came from high schools where we were all the exception to the rule--we were kind of special in some way, or people told us that,” said Cai Sherley, 20, seated in the campus cafe. Around her, Zoleka Mosiah, Ms. Simeon and Ms. Lancaster nodded in agreement. “So you get here and of course you want to recreate that,” Ms. Sherley said. “But here, everybody’s special. So nobody is special.”

Social media doesn’t help, because while students may know logically that no one goes through college or, let’s be honest, life without screw-ups, it can be pretty easy to convince yourself, by way of somebody else’s feed, “that everyone but you is a star,” said Jaycee Greeley, 19, a sophomore.

It is also a culture that has glorified being busy--or at the very least conflates those things with status. “There’s this idea that I’m not worthy if I’m not stressed and overwhelmed,” said Stacey Steinbach, a residential life coordinator at Smith. “And in some sense to not be stressed is a failing.”

It’s what Ms. Simmons calls “competitive stress”: the subject of her afternoon workshop on the campus lawn, to which she was luring students with ice cream and bingo.

When students arrived, the sundaes were there. But the bingo cards were a little different--filled with things like “I have 20 pages to write tonight,” “I’m too busy to eat” and “I’m so dead.” It was called “Stress Olympics.”

“It’s basically a play on competitive suffering,” said Casey Hecox, a 20-year-old junior. “It’s when we’re like, ‘I have three tests tomorrow.’ And then someone’s like, ‘I have five tests tomorrow, and all I’ve eaten is 5-hour Energy, and my dog is sick.’”

#failure #teaching failure #Smith College #competitive stress

[mike-micky-peter-davy-imagines]

The Kind of Girl I Could Love~ Chapter 10

February 13th, 1967 After walking around the city with Jessica during the afternoon, Mike entered his home, a satisfied smile on his face. He was so content. He used to fear feelings that made him all warm and fuzzy, but since he met Jessica, he felt he can come out of his shell. Jessica and Mike had been seeing each other for almost two months. After a few dinner dates, they've decided to be together and keep it on the down low. Nothing sexual has happened. They would meet up so their kids could have play dates; Joanne adores Christian and vice versa. They'd go have lunch or dinner dates together at Jessica's place when they had the chance. Jessica and Mike would sneak a kiss or two when they were alone. It was nothing serious. Well, not yet. He entered the living room and jumped at the sight of Phyllis sitting on the couch holding a sleeping Christian, giving him an icy stare. "Where have you been?" she whisper-yelled. "I needed some air." "For four hours?" "Inspiration doesn't come that easily," he mumbled, walking to his work room. He locked the door and sat on his chair. He looked at the clock on the wall. It read 6:55 at night. His mind wandered to Jessica. Well, when doesn't she creep into his mind? It's impossible for her not to be in his mind.  He looked at the phone and started to think if he should call her or not. He smirked and started to think of ways they could be together without the media or his wife knowing what is going on. He picked up the phone and dialed her number. Went straight to voicemail. Right, she's out with her daughter. He started thinking about little Joanne. Without a father figure, it must be hard. He would know. 'I could be that father figure.' Mike thought to himself and smiled at a scenario that he wanted to be a memory... ~Dream sequence~ Mike's back was against the trunk of a tree with Jessica in between his legs, laying against his chest as they watched Christian and Joanne run across the field. They were like a little family having a wonderful time. The sky was clear blue, the summer sun was shining. Mike inhaled the sweet scent of her hair, his arms wrapped around her waist. He left kisses across her scalp making her relax a bit more. Jessica looked up at Mike with a content smile on her face giving Mike the opportunity to kiss her full lips. ~End of Dream~ When his mind returned to reality he sighed happily. How did this woman make me so happy after knowing her for such a short time? he asked himself. He looked at the song he has been working on for months, wanting to add onto it. He started thinking about Jessica. When they kiss he would notice her blue eyes sparkling. He wanted her as more than a friend. He loves her. He thought long and hard about the next verse. 'I saw when you walked by The love light in your eye And I knew I must try To win you more than just a friend, I'm starting near the end, And here I go again He felt his creative juices flowing and decided to write one more verse to finish off the song. All men must have someone, have someone Who would never take advantage Of a love bright as the sun Someone to stand beside them And you just may be the one Someone to understand them, And you just may be the one' He nodded, satisfied with the song overall. He looked at the clock again, noticing it's been ninety minutes. 'They should be home by now.' he thought to himself and picked up the phone. Jessica had just put her daughter in her room to go to sleep. She kissed Joanne's head and closed her bedroom door. She heard her phone ringing and ran to the kitchen and answered the phone. "Hello?" she said. "Ms. Spencer," Mike replied. "Hey, Mike," Jessica said, grinning. "I just put my kid to bed. What's going on?" she asked. "I wanna see you again," he said. Jessica giggled, "When?" "Now." "I don't know, Nez. I don't think I should have my kid in the house all by herself," she said, glancing at Joanne's closed bedroom door. "Well, if that's the case, what about another day? When do you think you can get away?" Mike asked, biting his lip in anticipation, waiting for her to reply. "I think I can call up Jordyn to watch Joanne for the night. What's the plan?" Jessica asked. "Tonight?" Mike asked. "Well, yeah," she replied. "That's a surprise, darlin'," he said in a thick accent, making Jessica blush.  "What should I wear?" she asked. "Preferably nothing, but public indecency is frowned upon," he said, a cheeky grin forming on his face. "Very funny, Nez," Jessica replied, a sarcastic tone in her voice. "Jeans that won't fall down and a sweater since it's still pretty chilly outside," Jessica smirked. "What time should I expect you to be here?" she asked, glancing at the clock on her stove. "Give me twenty minutes," he whispered. "What about our wife?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'll think of something," he mumbled. "See you then, Michael," she said, hanging up. Mike closed his eyes, savoring the way she said his name. He put the phone down and sighed. "Now, to think of what to do tonight," he mumbled to himself. Jessica called up Jordyn to ask her about babysitting at last second. Jordyn was happy to do it. She arrived at the apartment ten minutes later. "When is Mike picking you up?" she asked with a smirk. "I didn't mention Mike in our call, did I?" Jessica asked, trying to recall what was said in their call. "No, but I know what's going on. You blushed when I said his name." Jessica shook her head and ran to her room to dress nicely. She slipped on a black long sleeved shirt, putting on a royal blue sweater over it. She put on her favorite pair of skinny jeans and black boots. She left her room and heard the sound of a car horn. Jessica hugged her young friend and ran out of her apartment, hearing Jordyn locking the door.  She made her way to Mike's car. It was black with tinted windows. He rolled down the window and took his sunglasses off. "Oooh, sunglasses at night. Mysterious," she said, opening the passenger side door and sitting down. When Jessica put her seatbelt on, Mike drove away from the alley. "What's the plan, Tex?" she asked. Mike smirked and placed his right hand on her thigh. "It's a surprise," he said. She smirked and looked out the window, looking at the street lamps.  The drive lasted two hours. "Is this the day you murder me?" she asked, looking at Mike. Mike smirked, "Why would I kill a pretty woman like you?" "Mike, we're three cities away from Hollywood. Where are we going?" Jessica asked, her patience becoming thin. "Another ten minutes, shotgun," he said, his eyes fixed on the road. Jessica admired his facial feature in the moonlight. His beautiful eyes that told millions of stories, his lips, his luscious hair. Everything about him was perfect to Jessica. Mike parked his car and exit the driver's side. He picked up a blanket from the trunk of his car. He opened the door for Jessica and offered her his hand. She smiled and took his hand. She looked around to see where they were at. She didn't recognize the area. They were parked on a dirt road with a trail in front of them. "You sure you're not gonna murder me?" she asked. Mike kissed her cheek and shook his head. "Never," he whispered in her ear. They walked through the trail hand in hand. It was only three-tenths of a mile. They heard the sound of ocean waves roaring throughout the entire walk. The dirt trail later turned into sand and the trail led them to a beach. Jessica smiled at the sight in front of her. The moon was full and the waves were alive. They both walked along the beach until they found a good spot to sit. Mike laid out the red blanket and sat down. Jessica took off her shoes and sat down next to him. Mike wrapped an arm around Jessica and kissed her forehead. She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. Mike laid down, pulling Jessica on top of his so her head was resting against his chest. "This is nice. Away from society." Jessica said, cuddling against him. Mike wrapped his arms tighter around her, not wanting to let go. "Yeah, we should bring our kids here sometime," he said, placing a kiss on her forehead. Jessica nodded, looking at the sea. "It's beautiful," she said. "Yes, you are," he said, looking down at her. Jessica looked up at him and blushed. They shared a kiss that grew more passionate by the second. Jessica's hands cupped his cheeks as the kiss grew deeper. Mike's hands traveled down to her butt to pull her up closer.  They sat up and continued to kiss. Mike licked her bottom lip, begging for entrance. She parted her lips a bit, inviting his tongue in. They continued to make out until they ran out of air. They parted and looked at each other for a bit. "Why don't we head back to the car where it's warmer," he said breathlessly. Jessica nodded and they quickly picked up the blanket and ran to the car, but instead of the front, they sat in the very back to continue their little session...

#Mike Nesmith Fanfic #The Kind of Girl I Could Love