#adn awesome but also hard and idk

[paranormalglass]

THIS BOOK. THIS BOOK. OH MY GOD. I JUST FINISHWED IT AND NEED TO RANTSO. BAD JUST IGNORE THIS IF YOU WANT IDK BUT IF YOU'RE RANDOMLY LOOKING FOR RECOMMENDATIONS, I BEG YOU!! READ THIS OR EVEN JUST CONSIDER IT.

OKAY OKAY OKAY, I FINALLY STOPPED CRYING AFTER I FINISHED THIS BOOK. THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND THE WAY YOU CAN FEEL THEIR EMOTIONS AS IF THEY WERE YOUR OWN IS SOEMETHING BEAUTIFUL. THE MAIN CHARACTERS INTERACTIONS ARE SO WELL DONE AND THE WAY THEY BOTH GROW AND IMPACT EACHOTHER IN SUCH A SHORT TIME FRAME IS AWESOME. EACH MINUTE THAT PASSES IN THE STORY IS ANOTHER IM WONDER WHAT'S NEXT AND HOW THEY ACT, THE WAY THE BOOK CONSTANTLY SWITCHES PERSEPCTIVES BUT YET MAKES IT UNDEERSTANDABLE AND LINKS ALL THE STORIES TOGETHER IS UNLIKE ANYTHING I'VE READ IN A LONG TIME. THIS STORY IS JUST BEAUTIFUL. YOU CAN FULLY IMAGINE THE WAY THE CHARACTERS WOULD LOOK ADN ACT AND IT FEELS ALMOST AS IF THEY ARE REAL, THEIR EXPERIENCES AND FLAWS MAKE THEM SEEM HUMAN AND RELATEABLE AND THE WAY THEIR PERSONALLITIES ALL WORK IS AMAZING. FOR EXAMPLE THE PLUTOS? AMAZONG. THEIR PERSONAILITES AND LIVES ARE SO RICH AND BEAUTIFUL DESPITE HAVING ALMOST NO TIME IN THE STOPLIGHT. EVERY CHARACTER FEELS FLESHED OUT AND ALIVE NO MATTER HOW LITTLE OR BIG THE AMOUNT OF TIME THEY GET I N THE STOPLIGHT IS!!! (IM ADDING MORE). BACK ON THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. IT'S GRADUAL AND YOU GO ON THE JOURNEY WITH THE MC AS HE SLOWLY DISCOVERS HIMSELF AND LEARNS TO BE OKAY WITH HIMSELF. BEFORE THE EVENTS IN THE BOOK TAKE PLACE, MATEO WOULD NEVER EVEN IN HIS WILDEST FANTAIES HAVE DONE ANYTHING THAT HE DID. AND THE WAY RUFUS GROWS TOO. HE LEARNS TO OVERCOME FEAR AND TRAUMA WITH THE SUPPORT OF FRIENDS AND THEY IMPACT EACHOTHER MORE THAN THEY EVER REALISE. AND THE WHOLE TIME YOU'VE ALSO GOT AN IMPENDING SENSE OF DOOM BECAUSE OF THE TITLE AND EVEN WHEN THE OBVIOUS HAPPENS. IT'S HEARTBREAKING AND DISATEROUS. LIKE YOU WERE HOPING THAT SOMEWAY AND SOMEHOW THEY'D LIVE. AND THEY WAY THE BOOK DELVERS THE HORRIFYING ENDING IF SO PAINFUL YET SWEET. IT FEELS LIKE SOMEBODY AT THE END OF PLAYING A SWEET SYMPHOONY ON A PIANO SUDDENLY SLAMS THEIR HANDS DOWN ON THE KEYS AS HARD AS THEY CAN. IT ALL WORKS SO WELL. 10/10 LPEASE READ IT

#books and literature #they both die at the end #book recommendations #me ranting because this book totally didn't make me cry for 40 minutes #had to watch a comedy show to stop crying lol #100% going to re-read this book soon! #and more of Adam Silvera!!

[gendieanonsideblog]

Hello! I'm gonna get better at resoonding quicker I promise !!!!! | Brain can indeed be wonky! Sometimes it is a little silly, adn sometimes it is just mean and rude. I prefer when it's a littel silly. | I like complimenting other people too! It makes me feel warm and fuzzy bc heck yeah!!! That's my friend and they should know how cool they are !!!!! Like you for example, are just such an amazing being! You're always so funny and your taste in gendies is so good !!!! /gen | Yeah, I think sometimes the allocishets get lonely when they're not socialized w/ others, but I don't know for sure! I'm pretty much none of those things, so I just don't rly have the experience y'know? | ashkasdh ty ty!!! I haven't been drawing to much, but when I get something I like I'll be sure to show it to you :D | So, I never realized that I gay paniced when I was younger right? Bc I didn't know I liked girls. But now that I do, I realize I gay panic alot. Like, there's this one thigh high converse girl in my school and she is just- so pretty???? askdasdhkajd, I've barely talked to her outside of math but she is vv pretty and I want to be her friend !!! | Daylight savings happened where I live, and it really messed up my sleep schedule :[. I still wake up at the same time bc alarms but I'm so sleepy and then I have to go :[[ bc I'm sleepy !!!! | I got a good grade on my science test! Other then that nothing much happened. I told my friends that I go by he/they/she/it pronouns today!!! That excludes most of my neopronouns sure, and I don't think anyone heard me but either way that was really cool!!!! -⭐

hey no youre fine !! take your time broskii :D <3 /p /gen same silly brain is best brain :D EXACTLY EXACTLY !! spreading pos is literally what im here for !! everyone should know how great they are they deserve a great life and theyre all so cool in their own special way !! :DD >:3 aww tysm magnus !! ^__^ that means a lot im glad :D im actually gonna start getting gendies done !! my spoon count has been getting better :33 as a non - allocishet yea i dont have any knowledge on how to manage their species /lhj im so excited to see what you come up w !! take your time though !! :3 dude xenie is the only one who could make me gay panic THAT HARD jdlsfjdkf oh my god everytime i think about what happened that one time during a mogay coiner hangout discord vc party , i saw xerbun and KLDFSFJK my brain ,,,, my brain was gone /pos /pos you should maybe give them a note !! or like email them or compliment them !! idk how irl beings work outside discord heheh /gen i usually wake up gay fslkdjfdslkj as in " wow im awake " the next " oh god i have a pretty and amazing and lovable xf ahhHHH /pos " TwT ooo im very proud of you dude !! congrats thats awesome !! :D also congrats for pronoun coming out !! hopefully soon youll be able to reveal your hecking awesome and swaggy neos !! >:3

#zee my beloved /p #zee !! #magnus !! #star anon #⭐ anon #?_?anon shit #?_?anon replies !!

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

hi !! can I please get a 🍰?

i just came across of you writing and it is so cute !! (´-﹏-`；) every post made me feel all warm & fuzzy inside ~ please feel free to totally ignore this if this isn't the proper way to ask or if you already closed your request (also I'm sorry if you already closed your request I didn't noticed) . Also sorry if this has any grammatical errors or if the descriptions don't make sense, english isn't my first language.

so, uhm, to begin my name is elliot (she/her) I'm 5'4, I'm from argentina (south america) i speak spanish & english (among other languages) idk how much I'm supposed to put on here so I'm just going to describe myself as redacted as possible. (Don't know if this is necessary but I'm jewish ¿) ^_________^

I have short brown wavy hair, just a couple of centimeters below my ears, i have bangs, I'm very pale ¿ not chubby but also not skinny average if i may say so. My fashion style changes from time to time but i usually wear clothing in the range of black to white, also sometimes I like trying whatever aesthetic is going around at the time.

Personality wise I'm pretty calm at first, i'm not very good with getting to know new people so I try to be as quite as possible but once I get comfortable i tend to be very loud, i like making my friends laugh since i think that's the most sincere way of knowing they talk to me because they like me. I would say I'm like the mom friend/therapist friend since i really like helping and listening people talk. I love having deep conversations with friends/loved ones, they give me this sense of connection nothing else can give me. I am very blunt and it usually comes off as rude but i try to sugar-coat my words as much as possible.

And while I very much love everyone who is friends with me I have a very hard time showing it and/or showing my empathy for them (one of the reasons as to why I'm not good with meeting new people) but i try to become a better version of me day to day.

What i look in a person is someone who can understand me and my boundaries, since I'm germophobic PDA isn't really something that i enjoy doing but with time i can get myself around to it. Someone whom I can trust enough to be emotionally open with and vice versa. Talkative or not doesn't matter to me. My love language is acts of service. ^_________^

I hope you have a really amazing day ! ! remember to drink water and eat something yummy (*＾3＾)/～♡ don't be too harsh on yourself and keep in mind that many people love you, ba-bye ! ╰(⸝⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝⸝)╯

🍰 for @vvanteffect

Romantic Matchup

Sakusa Kiyoomi

How yall met

You guys met during the All-Japan Youth Training Camp

(You were a partial manager from Nekoma during that time)

Shockingly enough he actually approached you

Granted his cousin was forcing him to socialize but that's not important

He had noticed how you tended to stay away from other people or how when you did talk to someone it was usually a very short conversation

Basically you seemed like the least contaminated person he could talk to so he just went for it

Right away he noticed how blunt you were

Like he would ask you a question adn the longest answer you would give him was about a sentence

“Hey how are you”

“Good”

“Uh so what school are you from”

“Nekoma”

You get what i'm saying

But honestly he didn't really care he just kept talking to you

And the longer he talked to you the longer your responses would get

You guys spent the rest of camp together

And when it was time to go home you exchanged numbers so you could stay in contact

Your schools weren't too far from each other so you guys would see each other in person when you were both free

And well he ended up falling for you

What they love about you

Of course he loves that your also a partial germaphobe

It makes it easier for him to be around you knowing that you try your best to stay clean

He loves how simple you are

From the clothes you wear

To how you talk to other people

He tends to over analize if people are to complicated

But with you everything is just short and sweet

He loves how good of a listener you are

Like if he's had a bad day he can just call you and rant about it

And not only do you listen

But you also help him solve his problems

This next one isn't really something he loves more like something he's proud of

He's very proud that he's gained enough of your trust for you to talk to him

Like full blown conversations

Your guys convos have come a long way from the very first conversation you had

He's just happy that you trust him enough to talk to him

What you love about them

You love that he respects your boundaries

Let's be honest here

Mans isn't really into PDA either

Like come on

LOOK who were talking about here

But that's not the only boundary he respects

He respects All of your boundaries

Like all you have to do is tell him you don't like something and he'll stop

You love how he can handle your bluntness and not get offended

Honestly when you look back on how you met him

Your shocked that he even kept talking to you

That whole training camp people would keep on trying to talk to you

But then leave after a short while because you were being blunt and they took it the wrong way

But not Sakusa

He kept on talking to you even when you were acting pretty cold

And your very appreciative about that

Favorite things to do together

Ok so even though you live semi close together

It's not like your neighbors

So his favorite thing to do with you is to just facetime you and talk about each others days

And when you guys are able to get together

He prefers that you both just stay inside for the most part

So you do just that

Usually your in person hangouts include playing board games, reading,or watching movies together

And if you guys decide to go out

He makes you wear a mask the whole time

And you guys will usually just take a walk at a park or on the beach

Somewhere where theres not a lot of people yk

Random Hc

He has bought you two matching masks

His homescreen on his phone is a picture of you that he took while facetime you

Once you guys were in public and he accidently gave you a kiss while both of your masks were on

And now thats just became a norm for you two

You guys have these matching pajamas

Friendship Matchup

Kuroo Tetsurou

How yall met

You are Nekomas manager

And since kuroo was the captain you worked very closely with him

Which eventually made a friendship bloom

Why you became friends

He kind of saw you as a compitition if that makes sense??

Like when he first met you it's almost like you didn't want to talk to him

Which couldn't be true because he's awesome!

Sure you are kuroo

Anyways kenma had made some backhand comment on how some people just dont wanna talk to him

And kuroo was like 🧐

So he made it his goal to befriend you

It started with him having basic conversation with you everyday

Then it turned into him talking to you during the school day

Which then turned into him inviting you to hand out after school

Eventually you guys just became besties

What yall love about each other

He loves how straightforward you are

Like if you don't like something youll say it

If someones ticking you off you'll tell them

Even though your bluntness is something you get insecure about sometimes

He thinks it's one of your best traits

He also loves that you are bilingual

It makes for a good time when your ranting about something because your languages will start to blend

And if your really mad you'll just switch to spanish and just start ranting

And even though he can't understand a word your saying

He just smile and nods till your done

You love how deep your conversations can get

Like he'll play along with whatever deep topic you talk about

“What's the meaning of life”

“I would say its to give life a meaning”

Yeah y'all talked about that for HOURS

You also like how helpful he is

If your ever having a hard time managing the team he'll always offer a helping hand

And if your ever struggling with schoolwork he's always there to help you

Random Hc

He was very shocked when you and Sakusa started dating

He threatened to kick his ass if he ever broke up with you

Hes tried to learn spanish but gave up after a week

But he did learn how to say all the cuss words in spanish

After he befriended you he rubbed it in kenmas face

Kenma was just like 😐 ok

But kuroo took satisfaction in his victory

You really had kuroo thinking for a whole day when you asked him

Did the color orange come before the fruit? Or is it vice versa?

Still hasn't come up with an answer to that question

#haikyuu!! #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fandom #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu matchups #sakusa hcs #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa x y/n #kuroo headcanons #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo hcs #kuroo x y/n #kuroo tetsurō

[bodypositiviteaandcakes]

So, I’m currently rereading one of your fanfics on AO3 (The much better, Dursleys can fuck off, Slytherins are people too AU) and I got distracted looking at your Tumblr. I’ve always been a big girl, but for the last 4 years or so I’ve been working on my self image, and for about a year I’ve been slowly losing weight just by not being so negative/hard on myself all the time. I still have a belly, I’m still chunky, but I’m less likely to beat myself up over it now. Yeah, I still have days where I feel like I’m ugly etc (particularly about a week ago, when I broke up with my then-boyfriend because he’d cheated on me twice and tried to make it a third time), but I’ve spent hours today going through your Tumblr and I’m not ashamed to admit that I actually cried. The world needs more of this content!!!

Also, as a side note: when I was 20, I was at a particularly good time in my life - my mental illnesses weren’t so bad, and I was *happy* with my job etc. And I’ve always thought that at that time was when I was at my slimmest, because I was happy. But I’ve got a picture that proves me wrong: you can tell that I’m happy, but I am bigger than what society says I should be. And you know what? I actually LOVE that picture of myself. Because yes, I’m big. But I am fucking beautiful. And I want to thank you for making my day brighter with the content on here

(I would share the pic but idk how to, considering its only on my phone. If you have tips on how to do it from my mobile/cell phone, that’d be awesome!)

OMG Op, you have no idea how happy getting this ask made me.  Like, I orignally posted that link on this blog because I didn’t want people getting spoiled on my main blog, since I was posting a lot about it at the time, but like, the fact that it was that fic that actually got you into Body Positivity makes me smile so big.  I got into body positivity by reading Megan Jayne Crabbe’s book on it, and realizing that this was how I wanted to live my life.  I was pretty tiny my whole childhood, but I had a bit of a belly, and I was always so ashamed of it.  And then when i got older, partly due to adolescence and partly due to my medication at the time, I started gaining a bit of weight when I was sixteen/seventeen.  I wasn’t what people would consider ‘big’ per se, but I had weight in all the ‘wrong’ places (belly, love handles, and I had boobs but a flat but).  My mom ended up putting me on a 1200 calorie a day diet because she still had issues with her own body and didn’t want me having them later, and so she was sort of deflecting onto me, adn while she later admitted it was wrong of her to do that, it made me really insecure for a while.  then I went on a medicine that acutally casued me to LOSE a lot of weight, and everyone was saying how pretty I was now that I’d lost a little weight and my belly was flatter.  That medicine ended up not being right for me, and I started going back to my natural body shape, which is around 120-135 (I’m five two), ad I have my mom and my grandma constantly working around the subject of my weight.  The thing is, though, while I don’t play any sports, my day-to-day usually involves a fair amount of light exercise (not right now, because quarantine, but in general).  I felt like every food choice I made was being scrutinized by society at large, and the people in my life in particular.  But for me, food is a huge part of enjoying life, and while I enjoy eating greens and vegetables and such, i also love butter and cream and pasta, and I wnated to be able to enjoy those without guilt.  I wanted to not feel like what I ate had an effect on my self-worth, and that’s when I discovered bo-po.  So I made a blog, both for myself and whoever might choose to follow it.  and sometimes I still have trouble with having a healthy body image, and I have to work hard not to feel like I’m ‘fake’ for preeching body positivity while having trouble practicing it.  The most important thing to remember when it comes to body positivity, i guess i’m trying to say, is that it’s hard to keep a healthy body image when the rest of the world is constantly pushing images of how your body ‘should’ look, but don’t give up!  because in the end, the best thing for everyone is learnign to love your body the way it is naturally.  Also, earning to live a healthy lifestyle both mentally and physically is important, not for the way you look, but for the way you FEEL.  Also, your ‘right’ to love yoruself and your body does not hinge on doing the best you can to be healthy, beause sometime that’s just not possible at a certain point in time.  Basically, it’s a long, hard journey to learn to love yourself the way you are, and without contingencies, but it’s so worth it, because it’s so much better for you than any alternative.

Sorry to ramble on, but getting this ask made me so happy.

Love,

Des

[madmadmilk]

secret thank u and apology letter to my boyfriend:

(ok these are words i do say to my bf regularly, but it’s just nice to write it all down)

i jus gotta say thank u, thank u, thank u to my boyfriend for being my friend first and foremost. i’m a friendly person, open person, but i don’t often talk about my problems or worries to many people. he makes me feel safe and comfortable enough to share the shit that makes me sad–– and with him i can say it with the most honesty. the most simple and clear words!! if i do tell other people, it’s often coated with, “oh it’s just sometimes” or “it’s not a big deal but––” or “yeah i just don’t wanna talk about it” or “i don’t wanna ruin the mood.”

with him, we can bypass all the formalities and he lets me speak and figure things out to the best of our abilities. i just have to say thank you to him for that, for being an awesome listener or holding active conversations. thank u for giving me to time to talk.

but with that–– i know i’ve become selfish. i know i take up a lot of his time when he just wants to chill, or spend time alone, or play videos or whatever. in the worst ways, i know i take advantage of the fact that he always picks up the phone. i feel bad that i dampen his mood or overstep my welcome. lol and this is not asking for pity for me, it’s just calling myself out. and in our relationship it’s not the worst problem, cos he knows if i was okay i would say my small piece and go. we try to end every conversation with acknowledgements, thank u’s and i love u’s.

idk what i’m really typing anymore haha. but yeah i’ve been feeling bad since i started working full-time in august. we went from being together 24/7 in college for 4 years to like for 3 hours every week. complain. complain. history: we had dependency issues in the beginning of our relationship, doing everything together and clinging to each other in a new city, but ended college with supporting each other and pushing each other further!!! we bloomed together, and into two different adn distnct people!! and lol after college i was depressed and a wreck and he was doing his best with work, but i was able to see him pretty often. i made this blog to pass the time in 2018... picked up a job i could work from home at. i could see my bf whenever, i could stay up late, chill, work, draw, hang out, and still have plenty of time for more. it was ok but i wanted a more solid job. now i kind of have a solid job–– but also a solid 4 hour commute. complain. complain. idk there’s 24 hours in the day, i’m out of the house for 12 and have to sleep for atleast 6 hours. it leaves me 6 hours for whatever–– and it’s the hardest thing in the world to be 100% jacky in that time.

i’ve been really sad because i can give my work at 90% of jacky energy. i can give my coworkers/friends like 60-70% jacky energy. i can give my family 50% energy, my kind-of-dog 40% energy. but when i see my boyfriend? because i know he cares and understands my problems, my tiredness, my stress?? he gets <30% jacky. and that just like.. fucking tears me apart.

it’s not that i won’t exert the energy for him,,, but he lets me be tired, he lets me fall asleep on our dates or stay in. he caters to me so well adn it makes me happy but guilty. i do do extra things for him, but i’m so limited because of time and the threat of not getting enough sleep for the next day.

i don’t really know what to do... it’s not putting a strain on us, or anything. it’s just a chapter we’re running through, but oh boy it’s hard. 

there’s like 100 solutions probably, like moving in together. or sacrificing sleep or sacrificing work–– but we understand the easiest thing to do is to sacrifice our time together.

and that’s cos of how much we trust each other. how much we understand how we work and function with and without each other.

ugh, i just feel so bad. 

but thank u * for letting me fall asleep in the car between events, for picking me up and dropping me off. for being ok when i dont’ feel like doing any favors, or forget to kiss you. thank u for letting me just hug and cling to you when we walk around, for letting me gush about whatever hyperfixation i have rn. thank u for letting me get boba but also telling me not to get boba the second time this week. thank u for always picking up the phone, but also thank u for telling me that u got stuff to do besides idly talking to me. 

thank u for always being really nice to me, and telling me what u need from me.

i’m sorry i don’t always give it back to you, i’m trying, but i know i need to try harder. 

i appreciate u so much.

u deserve more than 30% jacky

#it's contemplative hoe hours...... #uh just the usual angsty ramble #feel free to ignore #hmmmmmm #i'm not like the greatest at acting like a girlfriend #but i'm good at acting like a friend to him #we talk through a lot of stuff always #and i always lean on him so heavily #i just feel sorry that i do but thankful that he gets it #hm #personal #madmadmilk #long post

[junkrats]

im getting back into fish keeping/hobby n im just........... i might end up posting more about it or just make a blog for it hmmmmm im currently cleaning my old 30 gallon tank out to put 3 juvenile parrot cichlids in that im gonna eventually move into one of our 60 gallon tanks that i want to turn into a cichlid tank in general but ive never taken care of anything other than parrots and jewels [not together in the same tank] ? and other community fish... my dads always been the one who keeps more aggressive fish etc n im just like MMMMM I WANT TO TRY 

--

my last experiences the past 15 years has been.. i had my 30 gallon that i had a small community tank for, and then eventually moved those fish into a bigger tank that my dad had

i def had a betta [it was red and named shaggy] for a few years but i was a kid n just got bored of one fish also had no clue how to take care of a betta fish [my dad never helped me with any of my tanks mind you at the time] luckily i atleast gave the betta the right food and filter and enough room but i was dumb and had stuff like.. fake plants instead of real ones and i remember my filter/water flow was pr rough [again, lack of experience for a kid... atleast i didnt keep the poor thing in a bowl without a filter] but i also didnt understand water changes until i was like 15! [and even then i didnt start giving my fish water changes until i was like 20 cus i was lazy and doing it every week sounds dumb so id do it once a month.... im def gonna make sure i give my new fish a change every week, prob on T day]

then i eventually had angel fish, which honestly? i didnt really enjoy them as much as i thought i would. they were beautiful, 2 small black angels but i really didnt know what to put in with them at the time and just didnt really enjoy the tank.... 

eventually i had a cool orange salamander which was cute but in the end i realized it wasnt for me? and i could never get the temperature + scenery how i wanted it...? i didnt know SHIT and wish i never bought it [mind you i have always paid for my own fish cus my dad refused to buy me anything that he knew id have to be responsible for] also being like a preteen i didnt really know how much water to put in the tank, what kind of salamander it was and what it needed to eat etc.. ive def learned to RESEARCH a fish now that im older.. thank god

so i went back to having a betta [this time blue that my step ma bought me for my birthday, loved this guy cus hed nibble on my fingers super cute!] and that lasted a for a while but having a betta in a 30 gallon by himself was super boring to me and at the time i wasnt confident enough or knew how i would make it a community tank + beta so i just ended up waiting for the betta to eventually just run his course........ 2 yrs later lmao [i think my first betta lived 2 yrs while this guy only lived 4, but probably cus i def did not do water changes as often as i should have at this point still plus other things]

finally got an electric blue lobster crayfish dude and he was so cool [i only got one cus i saw my dads friends tanks and this one guy had a tank of like 4 of them and even with some other big fish and i wanted to do the same!] i only got one tho cus i couldnt afford more and i just.... i trusted this fish pet store dude to know what to put in with this crayfish. turns out um anything i tried to put in with this fucking crayfish would end so BADLY to the point that i was SO UPSET over this dude that i traded him in for store credit 

i was honestly so upset over all my failed attempts at keeping this crayfish that i decided i just didnt want to deal with flashy aggressive solo tank fish....anymore... adn that i just wasnt ready for it yet [this is like.. before i knew there was a awesome community of fish hobbyists mind you]

i ended up getting gold fish and tbh? it was perfect. the tank was fine with just a few gold fish that eventually got SO BIG... that i couldnt keep them in my 30 gallon anymore so... i asked my dad to put them into the 60 gallon and he refused because he HATES gold fish [he loves koi tho? i kno he wants a pond some day, and the super duper fancy tailed goldfish, but always says theyre too dirty n hard to maintain in the tanks he has which made me sad cus i thought they were very fun active colorful cute fish!]

SO

i trade in the large goldfish and the guy at this local fish store goes “it sounds like you like active colorful fish, have you ever taken care of parrot fish before?” [this was after i told him i didnt want smaller community fish anymore] and i ofc i was like no ? n also ive only ever seen blood parrots in the stores n thought they were kiiinda bland.. at the time. 

but he showed me some cute jelly bean parrots and they were so colorful i loved them. i got two, a blue and pink one. i kept them for years and moved them into the 60 gallon and they did awesome. [i was in highschool at this time] until.... 

we lost our house and had to move, luckily into a much bigger nice home, and so our poor fish had to come with. my poor parrots were so stressed out. the move was just very sudden and it was really hard on the fish.. and trying to set up the tanks during it was really hard. my dad did the best he could trying to cycle while we were busy moving into the new house.. 

it was really sad. every fish did fine n managed except my 2 big parrot fish.... they did fine for like a week id say? maybe 2 weeks they were ok but then one day they were both just dead and it was heart breaking... the rest of the tank was fine even afterwards and the other tanks were ok too.. 

so i just kinda lost interest n gave up after that for a bit. eventually the bottom tank had only a few guppies in it that my dad ended up using to just feed his fish with cus they kept breeding. 

then one day i went to some crappy meijers, mind you i NEVEr have bought fish anywhere besides local pet stores, and my friends were pr high and we were all goofn.. it was like 3 am. i had 50 cents in my pocket. we went past the fish and i saw these like gold fish, real small ones, being sold for like 10 cents each. i bought five of them n then went home n put them in the 60 gallon....

my dad, ofc, was pissed and told me not to ever do that again. and it was pr dumb cus these like 10 cent fish are always prone to disease n stuff real easily but.. they ended up doing awesome in this nice big tank.. and it was funny, eventually 1 of them got so big and was so aggressive he picked on the others and even ended up EATING one????? i was shocked but like.. ya kno, never had these kinda weird feeder goldfish before. so this gold fish, with no fancy fins or nothing, just.. got bigger than my god damn hand. i named him goldzilla......

he ended up eating the guppies in the tank, and the fish food, and just.. everything! eventually he got SO big i decided it was time to trade him in. the guy at the fish store ended up giving me 20 bucks for this 10 cent gold fish...... 

so after that i turned the tank into a glowfish tetra tank and even got a special light for it that let them glow and what not. super cool.. but you have to have a lot of them n theyre so expensive n just....... thats where that tank is now ? it has like 5 glowfish in it and now 3 jb parrots in with em and theyre not like messn the tetras up but if they do i.... wouldnt care... cus i really love the parrots and stuff n ive been tryn to read more n watch more about fish keeping stuff..... and i just, i def shouldnt have gotten the glow tetras cus theyre cool n all but so small and also having only like 5 in a 60 gallon is so barren.. 

so yeah thats where i am atm. im gonna try really hard to take care of these parrots and in a few years maybe get a cool cichlid tank up n running to move them into? prob with convicts and what ever else.. idk i wanna get better at taking care of my fish and keep up with water changes and be smarter bout it all.... im trying 

#this is super long #blahblah #talking bout fish hobby stuff