Tony : Kid did you eat all the powdered sugar donuts?
Peter: *mouth full of donuts* Um. No?
Tony : Then what's all that on your pants
Peter:
Peter: That's cocaine
Every Spider-Man and Batman crossover is missing out on abusing the fact that Michael Keaton is both Batman and the Vulture in film and that Peter would absolutely despise Bruce on sight
Like can you imagine
Bruce Wayne: *a model citizen, building a new homeless shelter and funding revitalization in poor communities in Gotham*
Also Bruce Wayne: *is Batman, goes around in armor fighting bad guys with his kids at night to protect the innocent*
Peter Parker: evil evil this guy is some kind of mafia boss or something he's absolutely bad I bet he's gonna threaten me just like the real guy this man is a monster
Peter Parker: *with his eyes narrowed* What are your thoughts on vultures, Mr. Wayne?
Morgan Stark discovers the joke format, "__, __, and __ walk into a bar..."
She doesn't quite get the concept, but she enjoys it. And, like most children, when she enjoys something she becomes absolutely obsessed with it.
Morgan: A spider, the spider's aunt, and a grumpy walk into the house!
Happy: Morgan that's not how that works
Peter: I dunno, you do seem more like a Grumpy than a Happy :)
---
Morgan: A princess, her bestest brother ever, and their cyborg chef walk into the kitchen.
Tony: You can just say you want pancakes, Mo.
Peter, tearing up: That's Princess Mo to you.
---
Bonus:
It becomes an inside joke that the whole family uses.
Tony when Peter cuts off his coffee supply: (gasp) A genius, his robot minions, and a hater walk into the lab.
Peter, not even missing a beat: A genius, his son, and his robot children who agree with the son walk out of the lab and in to their beds.
Tony, so completely endeared every time Peter calls himself his son he can barely protest: I- I- now wait just a second...
---
Teen Morgan, upon finding her brother and MJ making out on the couch: Eughh! An intern, the goddess way out of his league, and the amount of space reserved for Jesus between them walk out of the shared living space.
peter b parker and wade wilson both adopted miles, so while filming the movie, miles accidentally called peter "dad" multiple times
bloopers. oh god, so many bloopers. the scene where all the spideys are on the roof, tryna hide from ganke? peni falls off and everyone else freaks out until she gives the thumbs up that shes okay
noir was very hesitant to let peni on set for a while after that
doc ock was excited to work with the spideys, peni and miles thought she was scary for a while, but she was actually pretty fun on set
gwen and miles were best friends before they started to film the movie
wade mostly just hangs around while they're acting on set, he's the unofficial director.
the scene where kingpin was literally beating the shit out of miles? yeah so kingpin accidentally caused miles to actually bleed, which in turn, caused everyone to freak out. kingpin especially, he felt awful about that