"Nice characters are boring" to YOU. I love characters who no matter what, will always have genuine love for humanity in their heart. Characters who dance and laugh and sing with sincerity. Characters who believe in others, and are willing to extend a helping hand to people when no one gave them the same luxury. Characters who have gone through so much but believe, no matter what, that humanity and life is something beautiful and worth protecting
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Some snakey fluff for your Sunday.
Inspired by this tweet.
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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Ive seen multiple posts from reddit refuges that go like "im queer and its so welcoming here!" Or "im nonbinary and dont get quized on my gender here!" Or "im autistic and i can be weird here and yall like it!" And its so fuckin cute its like yes hi hello welcome this is the gay ass autistic website we love special interests we love weird genders we love just saying random shit and the just happy surprised tone of those posts is so wholesome to me like yes! hi! you are in fact the target audience! welcome home
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i got all the achievements in this cult simulator so next step is to draw some fanart??
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it bums me out seeing people insisting characters that make them happy would hate them. that is the devil speaking directly to you do not listen that funny cartoon guy would love you
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How To Have Cybersex On The Internet (1996)
archive.org/details/howtohavecybersex
archived by Carta Monir
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Donna Noble really got in the TARDIS and on trip number ONE like ONLY the FIRST trip she was like we are going to change history to save a single family because that is how it should work so that is how it does and then on trip number TWO on the SECOND trip she was like we are going to destroy an entire culture of slavery because it is right I don't care if we're two people and then on the THIRD trip she was like I am going to be unbelievably brave to save my home and everyone I love and then on the FOURTH trip she was like no living breathing thinking creature is less than a person and how dare you try to dehumanise someone like that how dare you not give her a name and the list GOES ON this woman NEVER MISSED there goes one of the kindest bravest most constant women you might ever meet and she's a temp from Chiswick
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listen. this guy is the best character Pokemon’s ever introduced. his name is Larry. you have all these crazy-ass gym leaders and then there’s just just this one Normal Dude. he hasn’t slept in three days. he works a 9–5 office job and considers doing taxes fun. he wakes up and eats styrofoam on wheat toast for breakfast in the morning. he’s the only one who terastalizes his ace into a type it already has instead of a different type. his name is Larry
and then you find out that this milquetoast man
is also one of the best Pokemon battlers in Paldea
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20 years on and the love for the wizard is still strong. @/ianmckellen
DOMINIC MONAGHAN via Instagram on September 21, 2023
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Have you guys seen the James Webb telescope pictures yet?
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