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#adult joke
naturestarstruck · 28 days
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Give me your meat Sanji!
- Monkey D. Luffy
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generousdiamonds · 1 month
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/ No one: Not a single soul:
My Friend's OC Astrum:
Rarity: I'm usually a lady, but tonight I'M A FREAK-
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didzblog · 3 months
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Merry christmas, to my dear friends, and followers.
All the best wishes for the upcoming new year! 🥂🍾
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spaceasianmillennial · 6 months
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How Thrawn got the Nightsister Mothers Help
The Witches: We want... a mutually beneficial arrangement, if we are to ally.
Thrawn: I can arrange that.
Plot Twist: It turns out Thrawn performs excellent sex work for the Witches, like how Max Bialystock in The Producers sorta does sex work with old ladies to produce his musicals.
Thrawn: The art of sex work takes skills and experience.
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spiribia · 10 months
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once you hit adulthood a day will come when you’re suddenly like VEGETABLES 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 and it never goes away
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sourloverboi · 7 months
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adulthaha · 7 months
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Adult humor
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wanderingsorcerer · 9 months
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𐎡𐎨𐎦 𐎡𐎱𐎠𐎨𐎭 𐎩𐎮𐎪𐎤
𐎨 𐎠𐎬 𐎦𐎠𐏀 𐎠𐎭𐎣 𐎤𐎠𐏂 𐎠𐎽𐎽, 𐎨𐎥 𐏀𐎮𐎸 𐎸𐎭𐎣𐎤𐎱𐎽𐏂𐎠𐎭𐎣 𐏂𐎧𐎨𐎽 𐏀𐎮𐎸𐎱 𐎯𐎠𐎭𐏂𐎽 𐎠𐎱𐎤 𐎣𐎮𐎼𐎭 𐎠𐎭𐎣 𐎨 𐎼𐎨𐎫𐎫 𐎠𐎱𐎱𐎨𐎵𐎤 𐎽𐎮𐎮𐎭
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azulhood · 8 months
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I made another post about Danny and about how the justice league believes that something exists in the ghost zone then that makes it exist, but I had an idea since then.
So as a joke, John and Danny claim to be related. (Jazz, Dan, and Dani get in on it too.)
Batman: ...you have a family.
John: what? You think you're the only one with kids?
Batman: that *points at Dan* is a grown ass man.
Dan: hey dad, Jazz wants to know if you'll pick up some milk from the store, she says we're out.
John: sure, she want anything else?
Dan: nah but Dani wants you to grab some pizza while you're there.
Batman:....
And at some point, they start coming to him with their problems.
Dan needs a place to stay? Johns couch is free.
Danny needs help with schoolwork? John might not know what the answer is, but he'll try and help.
Jazz needs someone to rant to? She'll call John.
Dani needs help dismantling a cult? John will be right there in an hour.
They don't acknowledge it outloud, but if they have a problem John is the first person they think of to call for help.
The ghost zone and it's inhabitants also accept John as the ghost kids parent, like if they say it's true then it must be true.
Then they start changing just a bit.
Their hair gets lighter (closer to blonde) their eyes change by a couple shades, and unknown to them, their DNA changes.
And they don't really notice it...
Until they start developing magic.
And Jazz nearly kills someone with that magic when her breakfast attacks her.
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naturestarstruck · 10 months
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Axl hearing X and Zero "playing pound and play" at night be like:
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Axl: ..... I got to get my own place. 😑
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bluerosefox · 8 months
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No Longer In Service
Okay
Okay
hear me out
Ghost King Danny Summoning!
The heroes fail to stop it, everyone is panicking, they feel like they’ve truly failed to stop it. etc etc
EVERYONE is ready to fight for their final life.
They’re as ready as they can be to go against something so evil JLD are scared of it.
SO when the dome that was sealing them away from the summoner finally shatters they are expecting some huge eldritch being, something made of pure nightmares... Only...
Only to find an old tape recorder in the middle of the summoning circle...
Everything is dead silent. No one moves...
Then it clicks on and makes a loud noise.
The noise?
It was the no longer in service beep.
“We’re, not, sorry.” a teenage voice began after the beep ended, startling everyone as they weren’t expecting this at all “But the Ghost King you are trying to reach is no longer in service or rather King anymore. Thus any big evil world ending plans you have made will not be approved during my reign. Please, get a life and try to actually live it because I will not be ending anyone's or mass genocide anything... Also to the really insane Fruitloop that tried summoning a being with the warning of "will cause the end of your world". I am the Ghost King now, eventually everything and everyone will enter my domain regardless of who, when, how, or why. That is something I can wait for, I got no reason to speed it up.... So have a pleasant day and enjoy being arrested or ended for doing this dumb summoning if you decided to do this in front of like everyone in your world or something... Goodbye!”
The world went silent after that.
That...
None of them were expecting that at all.
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They both lost their team and their teacher....
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thatadhdmood · 9 months
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ID: Two white people in hats are in what appears to be a workshop. One is in a green shirt, the other in a backwards cap. Green shirt says: "We're just sitting here, two autistic guys-"
Backwards cap cuts the green shirted one off as the camera switches to a loose pile of bolts. They say: "-Looking at a pile of bolts, wondering how much fun it would be to sort them."
Green shirt as the camera switches back to them: "Dude, if you give us a ball and a couple tupperware containers, oh my god."
Backwards cap as the camera switches back to the bolts: "Let the 'tism run wild."
Green shirt, as the camera zooms in and out on the bolts: "Oh, the tism would be so involved." /end ID
i would be in that pile bolts for hours. when i was a kid my mum used to give me her change from all the different countries shed be going to, cause her eyes were bad and id sort that shit for her and it was so fun <3 soothes the tism
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bigfatbreak · 8 months
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Birds of a Feather previous / next
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autismwithoutpremium · 3 months
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Too relatable..
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Book!Thranduil really was like:
Thranduil: *catches dwarves, a race his people isn’t that friendly with, trespassing on their land during a celebration* why are y’all infiltrating our territory?
Dwarves: fuck you
Thranduil: alright, imma put you in the time-out corner until you’re ready to talk.
Several days and 1 dragon later
Dwarves: even thought we screwed the humans over, got many of them killed, destroyed their homes, and could have potentially destroyed even more because we awoke a dragon and proceeded to not lift a finger to fight it, we will not share a dime of our treasure with you!
Humans: fuck you give us some money! At this point, we should just kill you and take it all ourselves for all the grief you’ve caused us!
Thranduil: jesus fucking christ-
Thranduil: NO ONE’S KILLING ANYONE FOR MONEY
Thranduil: Let’s calm down, children. We can talk this out like grown adults.
Bilbo: *tries to manage a truce between both sides*
Thranduil: you’re the only one i respect
Gandalf: well-
Thranduil: shut up.
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