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#adventures in housesitting

I thought I heard a bang at the door and the dog started barking so my first instinct, alone in the this house that isn’t mine, was to grab a weapon before I went downstairs. The only thing at hand…….. fucking tweezers. I walked down there with tweezers. Like, what am I going to do? Annoyingly jab a burglar to death?

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The only time it’s acceptable to hear a man on the street yell HEY CAN I COP A PET is when he is, in fact, talking about the dog you are walking.


Mikey the bloke magnet.

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i think i’ve met the only cat in the world who likes a good belly rub, and as a mostly dog person who has far too often absentmindedly stuck out a foot to give a cat a belly rub in passing and immediately been savaged, i appreciate it.

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Had a Matilda dream but all with strangers?? Not the actual Matilda characters??? But the plot was the same???? anyway that’s not the point of this post the point is that the kid in the role of Matilda was a trans boy and I woke up crying with….relief? joy? pride? idk but he got adopted by his ms honey figure and his adoption was also like his coming out party and it was a good dream.

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So! This week I am housesitting in the middle of nowhere. Like, down a dirt road take a left at the flock of turkeys middle of nowhere. The blizzard that started up on the way there should’ve been my first indication that this is going to be a fun four days for me. It’s April.

Three cats, two dogs. I have been told that they all need to eat seperately, and immediately as soon as I fed them everyone went for everyone else’s food. Despite the closed doors. Yeah, this is going to be fun.

Pray that I don’t get murdered by the crazed horror movie hunter out here in the snow. And that my car will start tomorrow.

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Ooooh noooo I left my amazing waterproof Bluetooth speaker at hoooooome, what am I supposed to do in the shower???? Not spend 45 minutes staring at the wall and zoning out while water runs down my face???? BALDERDASH!

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the cleaning lady is still here. It has been 2 hours. I am very nervous and I just wish she would go away. But also I like that I don’t have to clean anything. I’m having a rough time with this tbh.

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When you want to sit outside to write but there are SO MANY MOSQUITOES.

Myke’s backyard is like a jungle so even though his patio is on the second floor the mosquitoes just freaking swarm. I’m going to go buy some citronella candles or some shit cause it’s so nice out aside from the being eaten alive bit.

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