WIP Amnesty - This Well-nightingaled Place
This is a fic for Tom Stoppard's The Invention of Love, so it isn't wholly about Oscar Wilde and A.E. Housman, it's more about Stoppard's heavily fictionalised, definitely surreal take on them.
Fog. Twilight. A boat, with two men sitting back to back, gazing statue-still in opposite directions.
The world awakens, the fog is lit by a greenish glow. Sounds of sloshing water, birdsong, faraway churchbells, maybe baa-ing sheep, whatever is necessary to give the impression of a nondescript but idyllic English dawn.
One of the men startles, then the other. They both stand up, the boat rocks, they both hurry to sit down.
A moment of silence as they consider their situation.
One of them moves carefully, and without fully straightening up, turns around, and sits back down, on the other bench. Then the other – they are now on opposite ends of the boat, staring at one another. WILDE is dressed in somewhat ostentatious velvets, HOUSMAN in a deliberately boring suit. They are of a similar, but indeterminate age.
WILDE
Mr Housman?
HOUSMAN
Yes, I believe so. Mr Wilde?
WILDE
Delighted to make your acquaintance again. We’ve met before, but we may not quite have been ourselves, that is to say, not these selves, and not in this place.
HOUSMAN
This place?
WILDE
Just a moment.
He peers around. Shields his eyes with his hand, looks again.
The light is morning light, but it comes from no particular direction.
Sniffs the air.
Sage and fresh-cut grass.
Licks his finger and holds it up to feel the wind.
The breeze is fresh, and westerly.
Dips his hand in the water to feel the current, then as an afterthought, brings his hand to his mouth and takes a sip, then splashes the remainder on his neck.
The waters of Isis, but clearer than they ought to be.
HOUSMAN
Where are we then?
WILDE
I would say we are where all writers end up sometime after they’re dead.
HOUSMAN
(sceptical) Elysium?
WILDE
I’m afraid not. We are in the Public Domain.
HOUSMAN
Why do you reckon?
WILDE
I’ve been here before, many times. Mostly miserable biographies, and even more miserable fictionalized biographies, but not exclusively. It is fortunate that my creation, Dorian Grey, stands in for me when the writer merely wants to make a point about beauty or decadence or carnal sin, and I am left in peace. I am only here when they want me in person. A clever young man made an exquisitely drawn comic book about my final days before moving on to woefully mischaracterize Hemingway. I’ve been here in a story about Bosie wearing a green carnation, fighting for my last lost book against a host of batlike tyrants who have stolen the very city of London. There was a radio play of sorts that gave me a government job, impressive magical powers, and a handsome young man in plate armour to grovel at my feet. EMPIRE STAR And of course there was the business with young Mr Stoppard, where unless I am mistaken we last met.
HOUSMAN
We did. It has been a long time.
WILDE
It has been no time at all.
HOUSMAN
Maybe not for you – my sleep is deeper. I am not here unless they sing one of my poems, and even then, I only walk these hills as if in a dream. Most days I am only here to the extent the Shropshire Lad is myself, that is to say, hardly at all.
WILDE
So we are in Shropshire?
HOUSMAN
The Shropshire I wrote is not the Shropshire you may have been to.
WILDE
I have been to your Shorpshire more times than I have been to the Shropshire outside your pages. I have no objection to this Shropshirish, Oxfordish, Arcadia-ish place. It is a little dull, maybe, a little too pastoral, but there are worse places to be.
HOUSMAN
What- ah, Reading.
WILDE
And Paris, and Naples, and Berneval-le-Grand, and every jewel-bright city one visits as an exile and not as a guest.
Silence.
WILDE
Don’t be quite so glum, you are souring the English countryside for me, although I suppose that is the highest and truest aim of all your poetry. To hang murderers from every tree, bury suicides at every crossroads and fill the churchyards with dead heroes, which ultimately seem to be the only sort of hero you really care about. To hell with it, show me what’s in that basket!
Housman looks around, and finds a wicker basket underneath his seat. Brings it out, looks into it, slides the whole thing over to Wilde. He rummages through it.
WILDE
Cheese sandwiches. Sponge cake. Strawberries. What are these supposed to be?
He holds up a red metal cylinder.
HOUSMAN
(glad to have something to explain) This is an anachronism. A deliberate one at that. I’ve seen prototypes at the Patent Office, but they didn’t start manufacturing stay-tab drinking cans like this until the sixties. Nineteen-sixties, that is.
Wilde still looks nonplussed. Housman takes it from his hand.
HOUSEMAN
Here, you push the tab, and you drink from there.
Hands it back. Wilde takes a careful sip from the can, considers it, then takes a longer pull.
WILDE
Gin and lemonade, with some spice to it. Pimms, maybe. I suppose absinthe would be too much to ask for.
He picks up a piece of sponge cake, eats it. Housman has not yet touched the food.
HOUSMAN
There remains the question of why we’re here.
WILDE
Someone clearly thinks we have something of relevance to say to one another. Or at least that my fictionalized, much-distorted form has something to say to your fictionalized, much-distorted form.
HOUSMAN
So you have noticed.
WILDE
What.
HOUSMAN
That you’re not quite yourself.
WILDE
I feel like myself, but I cannot do myself justice. I am slower, my words less exact. We are diminished, flattened in the hands of an inferior author.
HOUSMAN
A corrupted text?
WILDE
Worse. An interpolation.
HOUSMAN
We might escape the worst of the corruption by limiting ourselves to things we have said before – things we had the time and means to edit beforehand, whenever possible.
WILDE
Agreed. Now, why do you suppose you are here with me?
HOUSMAN
I cannot think of anything. Not that I mind this boat on this river in this early morning light…
WILDE
But you would much prefer to share it with someone else, or, failing that, much rather spend it alone.
HOUSMAN
Quite. I am a textual critic first and a poet only by chance. You are an aesthete first and a poet only by circumstance. We have very little common ground.
WILDE
You are too polite to mention that I whole-heartedly believe in a Christ that you find at best slightly ridiculous. I am rude enough to remind you that you declare your devotion to a queen and country that I can no longer bring myself to even jest about.
HOUSMAN
So it is going to be…
WILDE
There’s nothing else.
HOUSMAN
It’s not what I wanted to be remembered for. I do not deny it, but I do not want my life’s work overshadowed by one quirk of my temperament. You too deserve better than to have your name tied permanently to scandal.
WILDE
I don’t. I gave my own name to scandal, so now people have something to call it, the poor unnameable thing.
*
And that is how far I got with this story - if you want to get a sense of how it would have continued, I suggest you read all of Housman's poems (there aren't very many, it's three slim volumes), read the Ballad of Reading Gaol and De Profundis, they say anything I could have wanted to say much better than I can say it.
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