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#after last spring the last thing i wanted to do was write assignments
finnicksannie · 8 months
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I just want to talk about Charlie procrastinating at school for a second. Because this storyline was everything I could have ever asked for.
Season 2 spoilers below
Charlie is an excellent student. This is an established Charlie Spring Fact™️. He’s the nerd, he’s good at “all school subjects, especially maths” (-Nick Nelson). Even as Mr. Lange prepares to skewer him at the parent-teacher conference, he starts it off by saying, “Charlie’s always been a high-achiever.” In the comics, he’s even listed as being at the top of his year.
So, it’s a big deal that Charlie’s grades are slipping. Arguably, that’s why such a big deal is made about it: his teachers expect better from him. They’re waving the red flags so that Charlie realizes he needs to get his shit together or his probably prestine academic record will be tarnished. And it’s gotten to the point where they have to do it in front of his parents because it’s pretty likely that (as we see later), Charlie has not been engaging honestly with his teachers up to this point about his coursework.
Charlie’s parents believe this is solely because of Nick. Charlie has been distracted, he’s been going around to Nick’s house for weeks, he’s excited about his boyfriend - it’s no wonder he’s not doing his work. We also see Charlie deliberately avoiding doing his coursework to hang out with Nick, so we assume his parents are right. After all, that’s an understandable teenage experience, getting swept up in the throes of young love and other exciting things, and just not prioritizing enough time for schoolwork. So even though a complete ban might seem unreasonable, most viewers can probably agree that the smartest thing for Charlie to do would be to finish his coursework essay so he can see Nick. Surely it can’t be that difficult to just do it, right?
You know what makes schoolwork really difficult? Obsessive thoughts. Particularly if schoolwork becomes a source of anxiety, especially if Charlie has missed one assignment and then suddenly everything is out of whack. Now it’s not perfect. And procrastination can become a compulsive behavior in its own right. It can be strangely addictive to start skipping assignments. Which doesn’t make any sense. It’s not logical.
And Charlie’s behavior toward his coursework slowly spirals from “distracted by boyfriend” level down to “this just is just illogical” over the two-episode mini plot-line. After he gets grounded, surely nothing should be stopping him from doing his coursework now, right? And yet it’s the last day, and Charlie still hasn’t turned it in. He’s lying to Mr. Lange and saying it’s nearly finished (it’s not.) He’s lying to Nick saying it’s done (he hasn’t even started).
Then in the last couple hours of the day, he finally sits down at a school computer, and forces himself to write it. Getting stuck at first, but then once he gets on a roll he cranks the entire thing out. Which looks hefty when he slaps it on Mr. Lange’s desk (google indicates it would probably be between 1,000-2,000 words, please let me know if that’s not right). We’re meant to think this is a victory, Charlie finishing in the nick of time - but is it, really? That’s a large part of his grade, that he put off for weeks and finished at the last second.
This is such a common occurrence amongst people with mental illness, particularly those who have been considered “high achievers” at certain points. It’s a sign that things are not okay with Charlie. He’s starting to let things slip between the cracks, and his facade of perfection and control is beginning to fall. And that facade is everything to him. He feels like he has to be perfect, because otherwise he is worthless. The people around him can’t find out that he’s not perfect, or everything will fall apart. If he admits that he’s struggling then he loses control.
I’m just really happy we got to see this, even if it was a subtle plot in the background, because we are watching Charlie’s story mostly from the outside this season. We’re just like Nick observing small logical inconsistencies and concerning behaviors and slowly piecing together that maybe something very serious is going on in Charlie’s head. Which is a brilliant way to introduce a mental illness storyline, because it helps train people to recognize behaviors we’ve never thought to question as signs that someone is struggling.
TLDR;
Charlie’s procrastination this season is such an excellent depiction of how mental illness can subtly derail even an “excellent student” in school. And I’m genuinely looking forward to seeing how they carry on with Charlie’s mental health journey. Because so far this is probably the most personally relatable portrayal I have ever seen on any tv show, ever.
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say-al0e · 2 years
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Whole Lotta Love
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Rating: M | This is smut! No one under 18, minors DNI!
Summary: Coming home for spring break means getting to spend an entire week with Eddie. And he’s missed you just as much as you’ve missed him. | Ft. “Fuck, I’ve missed touching you,” + “I’ll do anything you want. All you have to do is ask,” requested by @/rebeccaperegrine-blog1
Pairing: Eddie x fem!Reader (college aged reader)
Warnings: A little insecurity, a mention of Hawkins giving weird vibes, some anxiety, a little loneliness, protected p in v, very light sub!Eddie, rusty smut (I’m sorry it’s been a while, I’m out of practice)
Word Count: 5.4k (I’m so sorry I don’t know what happened)
Stranger Things (Eddie and Steve) Taglist | If you want to request an Eddie fic, click here.
After months of endless noise - the constant tap of heels against tile, the echoing laughter of the seventeen other girls that shared your dorm floor, the persistent hum of a thousand separate conversations melding into one, the occasional beat of this new record or that one - the silence of home felt overwhelming.
The absence of life, made that much more evident by the disappearing act your parents pulled, had you simultaneously relieved - able to think for the first time in weeks - and on edge as you wandered around the empty home in search of something to satiate your boredom.
Planning for the trip home meant cramming as much studying, writing, and working into the days leading up to your departure as humanly possible. The goal was to leave behind every possible worry - every homework assignment, every exam, every essay, every work assignment - and focus solely on enjoying your first spring break as a college student. There was plenty to do at home, anyway, especially when you planned to spend as much time as humanly possible with Eddie.
That plan - leaving most of your books behind, tossed onto the desk hidden in the corner of your dorm room, and becoming so busy with Eddie that you barely noticed the passage of time - would’ve worked flawlessly, had you not returned home two days earlier than expected.
There were moments that you, selfishly, forgot that the lives of your loved ones moved on without you, that their days continued to pass without your presence, and as glad as you were that their world continued to spin - Hawkins continued to exist, in all of its faded glory - you felt a bit of the loneliness your mother joked about as you climbed the stairs to your bedroom.
It was easy to pretend that you didn’t miss home - didn’t miss your parents, your friends, Eddie - when you spoke to them several times a week. It was easy to pretend when you were surrounded by people and buried beneath the weight of this assignment or that one, this deadline for the school paper or that snippy comment leveled at you by your editor. But when left to your own devices, it was easy to remember just how much you’d missed in the few months since you’d last made the trip home.
Instead of wallowing in their empty nest, your parents were sitting at the home of a friend - another empty-nester, whose daughter lived in the same building as you - enjoying dinner and games. There would be time later to see them, to get annoyed with their parenting, so the slight sting of disappointment you felt at their absence was of little concern to you.
Eddie’s absence, however, weighed much heavier on you as you began to dig through the basket of tapes sitting on your dresser. He, like your parents, wasn’t expecting you until Saturday so there was no ill-will as you realized he would be spending most of his night with Hellfire. There was no answer when you called him upon first arriving at home - not a surprise, given that he’d likely had other plans between school’s ending and Hellfire’s beginning - so you were simply counting down the hours until you could try again.
Knowing Eddie - and the ragtag bunch of freshmen he’d chosen to continue the club upon his graduation - it would likely be a few hours more and time seemed to be at a standstill. Having him so close, only a few miles between you, and not being able to see him was infinitely worse than being separated by a hundred miles.
Still, you knew that you’d get to spend a week with him and decided to hope he’d return home sooner rather than later instead of making the journey to Hawkins High in search of him. 
With that in mind, you popped a tape into the player, grabbed the most worn book on your shelf, and settled onto your bed in a desperate bid to rush time along. But it seemed as if only a few minutes had passed when, as you lounged - a copy of The Illustrated Man in hand and the nearly worn out tape Eddie gave you when you first began dating filling the stifling silence - you heard the quiet tapping at your window. 
For a brief moment, you wondered if the tape was beginning to wear out - it was nearing a year old and you played it often, especially now that you and Eddie no longer saw one another on a daily basis - but the noise grew louder as the song played on.
The rational part of your brain, the part that had been on edge since returning to Hawkins, told you that it was nothing more than a branch tapping against the window as you marked the page in your book and tossed it onto the bed. The paranoid part - the part that seemed to assume the worst, especially at home - begged to differ.
Quietly, you climbed from the bed and slowly approached the window. 
Upon first glance, it seemed as if your initial instinct had been right. The dim orange glow of a streetlight illuminated the night, showcased tree branches fluttering in the wind and little else, and calmed your racing heart slightly as you heaved a heavy sigh. 
Despite how eager you were to see Eddie, returning to Hawkins had - understandably - set you on edge. However, you refused to let the twinge of unease that settled in your chest upon crossing the county line ruin your break. This would just be another funny story to tell Eddie - a way to convince him to let you choose a movie other than The Evil Dead - when you were finally reunited.
However, before you could reach out to lock the window and return to your bed, a mess of dark hair and a flash of white fabric filled your vision. As the window began to slowly rise, creaking slightly as it lifted, you scrambled across the room toward your closet. But as you reached for the softball bat still nestled in the back of your closet, a peal of familiar laughter echoed through the room.
The instantaneous relief you felt was coupled with an excitement that you couldn’t quite contain - even as your heart felt as if it might beat out of your chest - when Eddie began to fold himself in through the now open window. His presence, though unexpected, was a welcome surprise and you wanted nothing more than to cross the short distance that separated you and pull him into a long overdue embrace. However, you couldn’t help but huff in faux annoyance as he continued to giggle.
“Jesus Christ!” The heavy thump of Eddie’s shoes hitting the floor nearly drowned out the exclamation as he pulled himself through the window into your room. He stumbled slightly - out of practice after so many months - before straightening to his full height and snickering as you tossed a pillow at him. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”
Eddie grinned brightly, eyes shining with mirth, as he tossed the pillow back onto your bed before leaning against the windowsill. His eyes tracked your movements as you folded your arms over your chest but he made no effort to hide his amusement. He knew you well enough to know that you weren’t annoyed - not really, anyway - and was able to read the relief in your expression as you waited with narrowed eyes for his response.
“I was trying to be romantic,” he asserted, though the grin on his lips made you doubt his intentions. “I was gonna be cheesy and throw pebbles at your window but I figured your parents would be pissed if I broke it.” When you made a face - he wasn’t wrong, your parents liked Eddie but that didn’t mean they would happily overlook a broken window - but made no effort to close the distance between you, he tilted his head and pouted. “I’m sorry. We haven’t seen each other in forever and I wanted to surprise you.”
With a sigh, you reached out to shut the closet door and shook your head fondly. “Well, color me surprised.” A moment of silence passed as you slowly crossed the room and stopped a few steps away from him. “You know you could’ve come in through the front door, right? My parents aren’t home.”
“I know,” he nodded. His eyes met yours as he pushed away from the windowsill to stand to his full height and flashed with a light you’d missed more than you cared to admit. “Call me nostalgic. I’ve missed sneaking into your room, thought this way would be more fun.”
Instead of giving in to the urge to close the minuscule gap between the two of you, just as you knew he wanted you to do, you hummed thoughtfully. “How’d you even know I was home? Isn’t tonight Hellfire?”
Eddie nodded easily as he took a tentative step forward, grin badly hidden as he made a soft noise of disappointment. “Oh, how easily you forget just how fast word travels in a town as small as Hawkins. I heard you were home from no fewer than five different people before I could start setting up. So, naturally, we postponed and the freshmen will live to die another day.”
The quirk of your brow made him smile - a real, soft, shy smile that made your heart skip a beat - and you couldn’t help but return it as you took the final step and closed the gap between your bodies. This time, the quirk of your brows was an honest reaction - surprise and awe, a giddy gratitude that made you nearly breathless as you realized the weight of his words. "You postponed for me?”
Nearly a year ago, the thought would’ve been met with skeptical laughter - Eddie postponed Hellfire for no one - but now, he simply shrugged.
“I haven’t seen you in forever,” he repeated, voice going quiet as he searched your face for the answer to a question he had yet to ask. “I see them all the time.” He spoke as if that was the most obvious answer he could give and, knowing Eddie, it was the only thought that crossed his mind.
Knowing there was nothing you could say that would adequately express your emotions - overwhelming joy, an immense relief, at being in his presence once more; the feeling of returning home, settling back into the space you know you were made to occupy; a warmth that eclipsed the loneliness you’d been struggling with - you reached out to cup his cheeks and tugged him forward. You caught the flash of his smile as he willingly allowed you to pull him into an eager kiss, lips clashing in a way that felt so familiar and achingly foreign as you relished in being able to touch him once more.
Despite the initial reaction to your relationship with Eddie - confusion, disbelief - you knew that there was no one you’d rather be with. Returning to his embrace made more sense than anything you’d ever done and settling back into this moment made you feel as if you’d never left Hawkins in the first place.
The weight of his touch, the scent of smoke and leather, the warmth of his body - it all combined in a way that ignited a spark you’d been neglecting for weeks. There was no place you’d rather be, no sensation you’d rather feel, and you knew Eddie felt the same way as he slotted himself against you. His hands fell to your hips, ringed fingers digging into your skin as he held you close, and you sighed into the kiss.
Though you would’ve been content to live in the moment forever, mouths slotted together and bodies pressed firmly against one another - his warmth bleeding through the soft fabric of his Hellfire shirt, into your skin as he licked into your mouth - the need for oxygen grew to be too great.
As you pulled away, Eddie laughed quietly and scanned your face with dark eyes. “Hi.” He grinned brightly as his fingers dipped beneath the hem of your t-shirt and settled into a familiar position, gently brushing your rapidly heating skin. The weight of his touch calmed any lingering anxiety that plagued you, washed away any hint of loneliness, and made you laugh as he asked, “Miss me, princess?”
Some small part of you wanted to lighten the moment, brush off his question with a teasing compliment or a flirty remark, but you knew Eddie. Just as you’d been anxious and alone, so had he. Beneath the lighthearted question, a kernel of insecurity - buried deep, nearly erased by the time you’d spent together - threatened to burst. You could see in his eyes that he was truly asking, searching for a reassurance that his longing for you was returned, so you gave him the most honest answer you could muster.
“More than you know, Eds.” There was a stack of letters sitting on your dorm room desk - and surely a matching pile somewhere in Eddie’s bedroom - that attested to the longing you both felt for one another but words on paper mattered so little when you were finally breathing the same air once more. “I didn’t really think it was possible to miss someone this much.”
A look of awe - something verging on disbelief - flashed across his face, however, as quickly as it appeared, it was replaced with a soft smile as he surged forward to pull you into another kiss. The kiss, though clumsy, calmed your heart. And though it had been nearly two months since you’d last seen one another, it felt as if no time at all had passed as his lips found yours. His body slotted easily against yours, as if the space between you never existed in the first place, and never faltered as he poured every ounce of longing he could muster into the kiss.
Eddie relaxed into the embrace, his body becoming soft and pliant, and sighed as your tongue traced his bottom lip. His hands dipped beneath the hem of your t-shirt and you could feel him smile as you shivered at the cool press of his rings against your heated skin. Without wasting a moment, he tugged you closer - desperate to eliminate any remaining space between you - and pulled away just enough to meet your eyes.
Calloused fingers, rough from years of playing the guitar, mapped the path you knew he’d trace later with his mouth, as he laughed quietly. “Fuck,” he sighed, eyes dipping to your mouth before lifting once more to meet your gaze, “I missed you.”
There was little else that needed to be said; there would be time to catch up later, time to laugh about the way Hawkins never seemed to change and how excited he was to graduate, time to wax poetic about how much you missed one another and how glad you were to be together again. For now, the only thing that mattered was getting reacquainted.
The smirk on Eddie’s lips made you roll your eyes as you fisted the leather of his jacket and tugged him forward. With no hesitation, Eddie allowed you to guide him away from the window, toward your bed. There was no question of where this was headed - as much as you missed simply existing alongside him, you’d missed touching him nearly as much - so he eagerly walked backward.
Quiet laughter escaped him as you shoved at the heavy garment the moment his thigh bumped the edge of the mattress. He shifted away just enough to shrug it off - tossed into a corner to grab later - before he allowed himself to fall onto your bed and pull you down with him.
A soft grunt left his mouth as you fell, body slotting between his spread thighs, but he gave you no time to apologize as one hand lifted to cup your cheek. Warm fingers splayed across your jaw, fingers digging into the hinge, as he lifted to meet you in another kiss. The music, once so prominent in the back of your mind, faded into white noise as the world ceased to exist around you. The only thing that mattered was the feeling of his hands on your skin, his mouth on yours, and the soft moan he released as you tangled your fingers in his hair and tugged.
As you shifted above him, hips dropping to settle comfortably on his lap, Eddie groaned and dropped his hands to your hips. Eagerly, he nudged the fabric of your shirt up, bunched it higher and higher, and grinned when you pulled away long enough to help him tug it over your head. In that moment, he took advantage of the opportunity to shift you and the world seemed to spin as you settled against the pillows.
Eddie’s hands traced your now exposed skin as his eyes met yours. The feeling of his touch, simultaneously so familiar and foreign after months apart, pulled a soft sigh from your mouth as your hands lifted to tangle in his hair once more. He looked pleased at the response, happy to have you beneath him once more, and grinned as he shifted to slot himself between your thighs.
Careful fingers skated down your chest, tracing an eager path to the waistband of your shorts, as dark eyes shifted to explore your exposed skin. You could feel the tickle of his hair against your skin, the warmth of his breath fanning across your hip, and knew that he could hear the change in your breathing as you waited for him to touch you.
“Fuck,” Eddie sighed as he dropped his hands to trace the delicate skin of your inner thighs. “I missed touching you,” he admitted before leaning in to press a soft kiss just above your hipbone. “It’s been a long few months.”
The sight of Eddie between your thighs, dark hair mussed from your fingers and lips kiss swollen, never failed to set your skin alight. Though you always found him attractive, seeing the mess that became of him in moments like this made your heart race. There was something etherial about it, otherworldly, and you were grateful to see him like this once more.
While you studied him, eyes roving the mess of his hair, Eddie eagerly slipped your shorts down your thighs. Laughter bubbled in your throat as he tossed them over his shoulder and winced when he heard an object clatter to the ground.
“I’ll clean that up later,” he promised, though you knew better than to believe that he would. It would lie forgotten until you woke the next morning but the thought of teasing him dissolved as he leaned in to press a soft kiss to your inner thigh.
Everything outside of this moment, outside of the feeling of Eddie’s fingers gripping your hips or the warmth of his breath fanning across your skin, ceased to exist. Nothing else mattered as you watched him lean forward, dark eyes glimmering in the lamplight, to nip at the skin of your inner thigh. The only thing you could focus on was relaxing into the moment as his fingers began to dip beneath the fabric of your panties.
“Can I touch you? I really, really missed this.” Despite the number of times you’d been in this situation, the words muffled against your thigh still settled low in your stomach. They wrapped around your heart and squeezed, had you eager for him to do more than lie between your thighs, so you nodded readily.
“Missed this, too,” you sighed, breathless as he shifted his hands to tug the material down your thighs. “You’re always so good to me, baby.” 
In the now silent room, it was impossible not to hear his sharp intake of breath as his eyes darted to yours. Pink dusted his cheeks, always so eager to gain your praise, and you nearly laughed at how eagerly he shuffled closer.
There would be time later for drawn out moments, for soft words and curious exploration. Now, after having gone so long without seeing one another, Eddie wasted little time settling squarely between your thighs to drag his fingers through the slick gathered there. He nosed at the juncture of your thigh, lips pressing to the heated skin as his touch sent a shiver down your spine, and groaned when you tugged at his hair.
A warm hand gripped your thigh, fingers digging into the soft flesh, as he pressed his fingers into you. Dark eyes searched your face, watched for any hint of discomfort, and you could see the flash of reverence in them as he curled his fingers. He knew your body like the back of his hand, knew the spots that made you see stars, and eagerly set a pace that made you gasp and writhe beneath him.
His mouth traced your heated skin, teeth scraping the soft flesh and certainly leaving bruises in their wake, as he insistently pressed his fingers deeper. There was little grace in his movements, just an eager desire to have you moan his name, but this was what you’d been missing. It was endearing, knowing that he’d missed you just as much as you’d missed him, and seeing how eager he was to make you fall apart made your heart hammer in your chest.
When his fingers pressed against the spot that made you gasp, you could feel his lips curl into a satisfied smile. Eagerly, he shifted, pressed his face between your thighs, and lapped at your dripping folds. The combination of his fingers, his mouth, and the vibration of his moans pressing into you, working in tandem to overwhelm you, threw you over the edge much faster than you’d imagined possible. However, there was little time to be embarrassed as Eddie’s own moan rivaled the volume of yours. He pressed closer, eagerly lapping at your release, and only lifted his head when you used the grip on his hair to nudge him away. 
As you attempted to catch your breath, Eddie sat up and quickly tugged his shirt over his head. It followed the arc of your shorts, dropped to a pile on the floor, before he stood to shimmy out of his jeans and underwear. As he hopped out of the dark fabric, you sat up and laughed when he tilted his head to shoot you a wink.
Despite the flush in his cheeks, he stood unabashedly naked and allowed you to rake your eyes across his exposed skin for a moment. “Checkin’ me out, sweetheart?” He grinned when you laughed, eyes bright as he knelt onto the bed. He held his arms wide and raised an eyebrow as you traced the lines of his tattoos. “It’s the tats, right?”
The tattoos were never what attracted you to Eddie - it was his general countenance, the good you’d seen in him, and the soft smile that won you over - but you hummed thoughtfully, anyway. “Mm, totally,” you nodded, giggles threatening to escape as you shifted to make room for him on the mattress. “The tattoos really sealed the deal. Not like I had a massive crush on you before you had them or anything.”
As you shifted closer, knees pressing into the mattress, Eddie willingly turned to lie back and reached out to help you settle above him on jelly limbs. Dark eyes followed your every move as your hands moved to rest on his chest. The flash of disbelief in his eyes returned - as it always seemed to when you reminded him that you’d had a crush on him from afar before you began dating - as your fingers traced the tattoo just beneath his collarbone.
“Still can’t believe Hawkins High’s golden girl knew my name, let alone had a crush on me,” he teased, though you could hear the hint of insecurity that still lingered in his words. He knew that you loved him, that he was the one you’d chosen, but it sometimes blew his mind that you continued to choose him.
“It’s been years. I don’t think that crush is going away any time soon,” you teased, lips curving into a soft smile as you leaned down. “I’m kind of in love with you, you know?”
Eddie grinned and closed the gap between you with a soft kiss. “I’m totally in love with you,” he admitted, laughing as you tilted your head and smiled.
For a moment, you simply studied him - eager to commit the sight of him beneath you to memory - before you raised a brow and asked, “Can I ride you?” He nodded, eager as always to hand you control, and you smiled as you gently raked your nails across his skin.
He shifted beneath you, fingertips pressing into your skin, and your heart constricted as he laughed quietly. “You can do whatever you want, sweetheart,” he assured you with no hesitation, “all you have to do is ask.”
The glimmer in his eyes, so eager to fall back into your embrace after so long apart, fanned the flames of arousal licking at your skin. He looked so pretty, hair splayed across the pillow and lips kiss-swollen, that you couldn’t help but lean in to nip at the exposed skin of his throat. The marks you left on him would be obvious, easy to spot against his pale skin, but he wore them proudly.
Fingers, calloused from years of playing the guitar, dug into your bare skin as you raked your nails across the tattoos decorating his skin. “You’re so pretty.” Eddie’s breathing stuttered, soft noise of pleasure caught in his throat, as you mumbled praise against his skin. The words were muffled, softened by the press of your lips to the tattoo just beneath his collarbone, but you knew he’d heard them clearly by the way his fingers dug into your skin. “You make me feel so good. And I really, really want to return the favor.”
A quiet moan rumbled in his chest, easily betraying just how eager he was to feel your touch, as you shifted just enough to lean over and reach for the nightstand drawer. His grip on your hips tightened, fingers digging into your skin hard enough to leave bruises, and you bit your lip to keep from laughing as he shifted his hips to gain some sort of friction.
“Fuck.” Eddie shifted beneath you, desperately seeking your warmth, and tilted his head to watch you dig through the pile of items you’d shoved into the drawer to hide the condoms before leaving for college. “Please, sweetheart,” he begged, voice breaking as you triumphantly hummed upon finding a foil packet in the very back of the drawer. “It’s been so fucking long. Just wanna feel you. Please, fuck me.”
The whining edge to his voice surged through you, dropped straight to your core, and set your skin alight as you ripped open the foil packet and shifted to roll the rubber down his length. You lifted your head to watch his eyes flutter shut, lips parting, as he attempted to keep from bucking his hips into your grasp.
There was nothing for you to say, no words that could make the moment any better, as you shifted onto your knees. Eddie tensed beneath you, his entire body tightening, as he prepared for you to sink onto him. His fingers pressed into your hips as his eyes darted between your face and the space between you, eagerly awaiting the sensation you’d both missed more than either of you cared to admit.
As you lowered yourself, fingers pressed against Eddie’s chest - his heart hammering beneath your palm - you bit your lip and lost yourself in the overwhelming fog of his presence. The sound of his voice, rumbling deep in his chest as he moaned; the warmth of his skin, pressed so close to yours; the weight of his touch, fingers anchoring into your skin; the stretch of him filling you - combined, the feeling of being so close once more hit you harder than you thought it would.
Feeling him beneath you, so eager to lose himself in you, made your heart ache as you leaned down to press your lips to his. Though you knew you loved him, it still surprised you just how much love you felt as you began to set a pace you knew he’d appreciate.
Moments like this, spent together in a bubble that consisted solely of each other, were few and far between. The distance had been difficult, soul-crushing at times, but knowing that he was still there - still just as gone for you as he had been the day you agreed to go out with him - made it that much more bearable.
There would be time for soft and slow later, time to drag out the bliss that you’d both missed, but the weight of Eddie’s hands on your hips - the strength of his grip, the sting of his nails digging into your flesh - spurred you on. You wanted him to feel the same bliss he’d made you feel, to feel the same pleasure, so you focused solely on pulling moans from his parted lips as you sank down onto him.
The pace you set was rough, quick and eager, but you knew that he didn’t mind as he tilted his head back and allowed you to nip at the hinge of his jaw. This wouldn’t last,  you both knew that, but with a full week to spend together, this would just be the first moment of many so when his breathing began to grow erratic, his heart began to hammer harder beneath your fingertips, you lifted your head to meet his eyes.
“Eddie,” you cooed, voice soft in the quiet of the room, “wanna feel you come for me. Please? You look so pretty when you come, baby.”
“Fuck!” His grip on your hips grew tighter, fingers digging into your skin, as he shifted his hips in search of more friction. He was chasing his own high - one that you would readily give him, as your own was just as quickly approaching - and lifted his eyes to yours. “Come with me? Please, sweetheart?”
He released his grip on your hip to dip a hand between your thighs and moaned when you jolted at the feeling of his fingers rubbing the bundle of nerves. Just as you watched him, eager to see his eyes flutter shut when he fell over the edge, he studied you as he pushed you toward your own end.
Almost too soon, you felt yourself barreling toward the edge - fingers and toes tingling with pleasure - and Eddie sighed in relief  as he planted his feet and began to shift his hips. He came first, a moan of your name on his lips, and nearly whimpered when you followed shortly after. 
After a moment, when feeling began to return to your limbs, you lifted yourself from his body and laughed as he rolled his head to the side and grinned at you. “I think you killed me,” he accused, voice shaking as he shifted just enough to roll the used condom from his length and toss it into the basket by your bed. “Fuck, I really missed you.”
“Mm. You just missed sex,” you teased, eyes meeting his as he settled into the space by your side.
“Sex with you,” he amended, though he was quick to shake his head. “I missed all of you. Everything about you. Can’t wait to hear all about your classes and your dick boss and that record shop you wrote about.” There was little doubt he wanted to hear about everything you’d mentioned in your letters and then some, little doubt he wanted nothing more than to spend hours catching up, so you nodded.
“I know, baby. Can’t wait to hear all about the newest campaign,” you returned easily as he tugged you close and wrapped an arm around your waist. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
As you lay in the quiet, limbs tangled together - calloused fingers tracing nonsensical patterns across your skin -, you considered yourself lucky. You were lucky to have fallen in love with someone like Eddie - someone genuine and sweet, kind and thoughtful - and grateful that you’d given one another a chance, even as you battled the distance that separated you. It was only a matter of months until Eddie graduated and then, there was no telling what the future would hold.
The only thing you felt certain of was that Eddie would remain by your side and that you would tackle the unknown together.
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Author’s Note: THE CHOKEHOLD THIS MAN HAS ME IN. I just finished this fic and now I’m starting another for him. I haven’t written in like two months. Who am I. Send help. I even made him my phone background. I haven’t done that shit since high school. AH. Anyway. Have this. The first time writing for a new character is always the hardest. So. Fingers crossed the next one will be even better.
Taglist: @thisisparadisemylove, @meaganjm, @hopelesslylosttheway, @jxngwhore, @janine-sophie, @urofficial-cyberslut​, @tasmbestspdrman​, @noemotion2day, @umichlover​, @slvdsjjk​, @fezcosbaby​, @x-avantgarde-x​
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blackhairedjjun · 10 months
Text
flowers of every color | good ending: daffodils
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overall summary: when your father is assigned as the new head gardener to the royal family, you are also tasked with helping him maintain the castle's many gardens and extensive floral arrangements. by chance you find yourself crossing paths with the "ice-cold" crown prince, choi yeonjun... who turns out to be not as ice-cold as everyone says he is.
chapter summary: as a condition for your relationship with yeonjun to continue, you are given tests to prove your worthiness. you make it all the way until the last one... and this is that test.
word count: 2.9k
warnings: pet names (darling)
author's note: as i mentioned in the end notes of the previous chapter, this ending takes place after a timeskip of several months!
prev | masterlist bad ending
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the lamp you’ve set on the table flickers. you rub your temples, trying to ignore the headache that’s set in from reading and writing for so long. the  nighttime darkness around the rest of the library isn’t helping, and neither is the spring chill that permeates its long hallways. you’re grateful, then, for the lamp providing a tiny bit of light, the new coat that fits you snugly, and your lover seated next to you and practically attached to your side as you write.
yeonjun watches you for a few moments before leaning in closer and brushing aside some of your hair from your face. “y/n darling, shouldn’t you take a break?”
“it’s okay, jjunie. i’m almost done.”
he yawns and blinks at you a few times. you can tell he wants to say something, but has probably forgotten it in his sleepy haze.
“you’re more tired than me, you know. you can go to bed ahead of me if you want.”
“noooo...” he pouts and snuggles into your side even more. “i want to stay here with you... want to read your speech...”
“you’ll hear it tomorrow anyway. get some rest, love.”
“but i want to see it before everyone does...”
his arms circle around your waist and he looks at you with pleading eyes, even as he blinks the sleep away from them. oh, there’s no way you’ll get him to leave you 一 not that you want him to anyway.
“okay, you can stay here.” you push aside his bangs and kiss his forehead.
yeonjun smiles and looks over your shoulder as you continue to write.
for once you’re grateful for your propensity to lose yourself in your work, or else you'd be too anxious to properly focus on the speech you’re writing. it’s easy for you to slip into the right headspace for writing once your attention has been set 一 thinking of the ideas you want to express, the right words to express them with, the proper flow of the speech to tie everything together 一 and you get to it, your hand moving as fast as it can to catch up with your thoughts.
you’re so lost in your writing that it’s easy to forget what is at stake: a chance to prove yourself as a worthy future consort, as a result, be allowed to be with yeonjun. for the past several months you have been taking lessons in diplomacy, history, economics, etiquette, and a dozen other things that the spouse of a monarch ought to know, and along with them you’ve been given several tests to prove what you’ve learned. they were grueling, but these were the conditions that you and yeonjun negotiated for if your relationship is to continue and progress.
the tests have ranged from pen-and-paper exams on the political history of the kingdom to practical demonstrations on how to ride and control a horse, and you’re grateful that you somehow managed to pass them all so far. but you can’t rest easy just yet, not when your final test takes place three days from now: a speech on a personal advocacy or passion that benefits the kingdom. it must not only explain why it is important, but also inspire others to see it the way you do.
even as you write word after word, you’re surprised by how naturally it comes to you 一 you know your passion well, not just now but even long before the tests were assigned to you in the first place. as you finish your speech draft, you look over at yeonjun and give him a knowing smile.
his eyes scan your words on the paper before meeting your gaze, and he too smiles. “it’s so you,” he says. “it’s perfect.”
“is it?”
“definitely.”
you chuckle. “good, it’s supposed to be.”
for a split second your gaze lands on the fresh red rose he has pinned to the lapel of his coat. you remember why you chose your topic for your speech, and why you’re doing all this in the first place.
“just one more and it’ll be all over.” yeonjun leans his head on your shoulder and hums. “they’ll pass you for sure, i just know it, and then...”
he trails off as he buries his face in your neck. you feel his arms around you squeeze you tighter.
you wrap one of your own arms around his waist. “i still can’t believe they allowed this,” you say. “i still can’t believe your mom fought for us.”
“she’s amazing, really. she got all our advisors on her side... she helped me re-negotiate the deal with that queen...”
“and she agreed! tell her thank you, jjunie.”
yeonjun lifts his head up and grins at you. “i’ve told her three times already! she knows how grateful we are!”
“i know! but i truly, sincerely mean it.”
“and she truly, sincerely knows!” he laughs and the sound fills the otherwise quiet library. “and i truly, sincerely know.”
he looks at you with sincerity shining in his eyes. despite the chill of the library you feel warm, and in your gratitude you give him a peck on the lips.
“i’m glad you do,” you say. “i’ll be going through this speech again, do you still want to stay?”
yeonjun leans his head on your shoulder again. “i’ll stay as as long as i need to.”
the dining hall only holds a fraction of its capacity, but to you it might as well be a full house. 
you look up from the makeshift podium and stare at the rows of guests seated in front of you: the council of advisors, the royal tutors, a few of the kingdom’s diplomats, even the chamberlain. in the front row you spot soobin nodding at you with a dimpled smile; beomgyu giving you a not-so-discreet thumbs-up; princess ajin (making a diplomatic visit to the kingdom on her own “because i can”) staring with a blank expression; and the king and queen themselves watching you with expectant looks on their faces.
you swallow hard. the hairs on your arms are standing up, and though the spring weather is far from getting warm, you still feel yourself sweating underneath your coat. with all eyes on you, you see the full stakes of today’s test come into full focus. everyone here will be scrutinizing you, analyzing every word that comes out of your mouth, and anything you say deemed unworthy of a consort could spell the end of your relationship with yeonjun.
“you may begin anytime,” the queen says. “as soon as you’re ready.”
you nod, rearrange your papers on the podium, and draw a shaky breath.
your eyes dart about the room, searching for something 一 anything 一 that could anchor you against the tide of nervousness rising in your stomach. at first you stare very hard at a distant flower vase on one of the shelves, thinking about where it came from and how you grew it, until your gaze wavers and you find yourself locking eyes with yeonjun. he’s looking at you again with that expression of pure fondness and love, the same way he looked at you when you danced with him all those months ago, and a wave of warmth cuts through the nervousness in you. 
despite everything, his love for you has never changed 一 and you feel the same way. isn’t that worth fighting for?
you clear your throat and begin.
“your highnesses the king and queen, your majesty the crown prince, the members of the council of advisors, our esteemed guests” 一 your voice trembles but you rein it in一 “i bid you good afternoon, and i thank you for your time and attention.
“i cannot tell you enough how honored and grateful i am to be speaking in front of all of you. most of you know me as but a humble gardener and just one of many people under your highnesses’ employ. for nearly a year now i have tended to the the castle’s vast gardens, prepared herbs and vegetables for the castle’s lavish meals, and brought flowers to enhance the beauty of this very castle. the work is humble, tiring, and often dirty. compared to the work done by the royal family and their council of advisors to keep our kingdom and its people prosperous, it seems trivial or even frivolous.
“however, i ask you today to put aside your preconceptions of me and my line of work.” your voice stops shaking now and seems to fill the whole dining hall. “i am only one of hundreds of gardeners, florists, and horticulturists within this kingdom, and we work for its wealth and prosperity as much as you do. it is our hands that grow the fruits that nourish your bodies, the flowers that lift your spirits, the herbs that cure your ailments, and the trees that protect you from storms. our work may seem trivial, but even trivial things add up and become essential for every citizen’s life and work.”
with the confidence surging in you, you continue speaking on the importance of horticulture to the kingdom. as you speak, you recall not only the books on botany you borrowed from the library, not only the lessons you received on economics and industry, but also your lifetime’s worth of experience. memories flash before you as you speak: planting your first cuttings in the garden behind your house as a child, your hand holding your father’s as you accompany him to a nobleman’s house for the first time to prepare his garden, even the first time you prepared a difficult floral display all by yourself.
you discuss the specialized skills that gardeners and horticulturists possess, contributing to the kingdom’s wealth of knowledge on the natural world. you list out the revenue that their work brings to the economy, from extensive gardens commissioned by wealthy nobles to the batches of homegrown fruits and vegetables exchanged at common markets every day. you speak on the positive impact of their work on the environment and how the plants they bring have protected the soil and the air. lastly, you end with the psychological benefits of it all and how one patch of flowers can bring joy to any citizen’s day.
as you speak, your eyes find yeonjun’s once again. he smiles at you and you know that you two are thinking of the same thing: that it was your work, your flowers, that brought you two together.
you move to your closing words: “if there is one thing i ask you to remember from my words, it is this: see us. the work we do is everywhere 一 in the vegetables in a stew, in a tree offering shade, in flowers of every color and fruits of every size. see us because no one else can care for the earth of this land the way we do. and once you do, you will find not only a class of skilled, diligent, and honorable people, but also a worthy partner in helping this kingdom flourish.”
you catch your breath as you finish. before you can even pray that your words were heeded, applause fills your ears; you look around and see your audience looking up at you with admiration in their eyes. the royal advisors nod in approval, the king and queen are beaming with pride, and even princess ajin has a small smile on her lips. you hear whistling and frenzied clapping from one side and suppress a laugh as soobin and beomgyu are barely able to contain their excitement, practically leaping from their chairs to cheer you on.
your gaze travels to yeonjun and see tears forming in his eyes as he applauds you. your own vision starts to blur and tears of happiness start to fall, and it takes all your willpower to resist the urge to leap off the platform and into his arms.
you did it for his sake, and you succeeded.
the hours following your speech are a blur. you remember bits and pieces of it, from beomgyu crushing you in a hug to the pudding you ate at the celebratory banquet. you even recall pieces of conversation about engagement preparations, though you’re not sure if you actually heard them or if you simply imagined them. the only thing your memory truly registers are the emotions: joy, excitement, relief.
the last thing you remember of that day is lying down in yeonjun’s bed in his room as he talks about how proud he is of you. he lies next to you, his smile reaching all the way to his eyes, murmuring words like you were amazing out there and i can’t believe i get to be with you as he pulls you to his chest. you close your eyes and just feel him next to you 一 something that would have been unthinkable just months earlier 一 as your exhaustion finally carries you off to sleep.
the morning after, you wake up in his arms. even before your eyes open fully, the first thing you feel is just how warm he is; your back is pressed to his chest and his arm is draped around your waist. you sense the rhythm of his breathing, steady and comforting, and his breaths tickling the back of your neck. even in sleep he holds you close and you smile to yourself, letting him keep you warm from the spring morning air.
the sun has just risen. its rays shine gold through the window, illuminating the gilt patterns around the prince’s bedroom. the bed is so soft that you could sink through it like water, inhaling the floral scent of the freshly laundered sheets as you go. the room is far more ornate from the gardener's quarters but no less comfortable. it’s a beautiful way to start the day, you think, but none of it is as beautiful as the man laying next to you.
and best of all: now that you’ve passed your training, this is only the first of many beautiful mornings. 
slowly you turn around to face yeonjun, moving carefully as not to wake him. you take a moment to admire how peaceful he looks when he sleeps, how his features relax when the worries of the waking world are far from him. you curl into him even more, burying your face in his neck, and whisper a soft i love you against his skin. 
you feel the grip of his arm around your waist tighten.
“i love you too, darling…”
his voice is still hoarse from sleep, but you don’t care. you lift your head to gaze at him and see his eyes crinkle as he smiles at you. he runs a hand through your hair, coaxing you to lay your head down again, and as you do he leaves a soft kiss on the crown of your head.
“sleep well?” he murmurs.
“yeah…”
“you can sleep more, you know,” he says, wrapping the bed covers more snugly around you. “you don’t have to wake up early for lessons anymore.”
“i know, i just got used to it…”
“then stay with me?”
he pouts at you and you giggle from how adorable he looks. in this moment there is no ice-cold crown prince, only my darling jjun, and you can’t ask for anything more.
you rest your head against his chest. “of course i’ll stay.”
the morning is calm and you let your gaze drift for a few moments. you savor everything: the sunlight, the soft sheets, the way yeonjun kisses the side of your head from time to time as you rest on him. eventually your eyes come to rest on the flower vase you left on the windowsill — you didn’t need to fill them anymore the moment you started training to be consort, but you loved doing it so much that you kept doing it.
this week you left daffodils. the sunlight makes their yellow petals pop out even more.
yeonjun turns his head to follow your gaze. “for new beginnings, right? since they grow at the start of spring.”
“yeah, exactly.”
“wow, i’m really learning about all these flowers from you.”
“at this rate, you might know even more than me.”
“we can switch then,” he teases. “you were so good yesterday that you can run the kingdom, and i’ll use everything you know to be the new gardener.”
“no way!”
you shake your head and laugh but yeonjun simply smiles at you. he pulls you closer to him and you nearly stumble off him; the next thing you know, his face is hovering over yours, his dark hair falling over his eyes.
“but you really were amazing, y/n. do you know just how amazing you are?”
“i am…?”
he leans forward and kisses you. you smile into the kiss, indulging in the warmth of his lips on yours. even after he’s done so dozens of times, you still feel your heart fluttering from the way he kisses you.
“you are,” he says when he pulls away.
he cuddles next to you and you let out a happy sigh. if this is just the beginning, if this is just the first of many mornings of waking up next to him, then you hope that this new chapter of your life will never end.
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notes: and that's it for ending number one! if you read this fic until the very end, thank you so much for sticking around. i honestly did not expect to have an audience when i started writing this fic, so i'm really grateful for all the love you've given to it so far <3 and if you're sticking around for the bad ending, see you soon too!
taglist (CLOSED) @seosalad @lilplilplilp @yeonboy @pyuae @hyuneyeon @strawbrinkofdeath @yushiu @mazeinthemoon @banggyu0308 @shytubatu @kyaneosprincess @agustdiv1ne @whippedforbeomgyu @justineasian @skywithf1 @wrongbathroom @choizzn @bangchansbae @huskyhunny @catsyoon @flowerbe0m
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I Won't Forget
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Soap x Civilian!Reader
Your last night with Johnny...
SFW, Light Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Established Relationship, Long Distance Relationships, Mutual Break-Ups, Failed Romance, A bit mopey, but not toxic, hopefully not OOC, Scarcely Proofread, Drabble
I felt like writing angst, but not heavy angst. Here's the drabble that thought concocted.
Masterlist
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Johnny took the long way back home from the park. He hadn't commented on anything in particular, beyond what played on the radio, and you didn't mind the silences, frequent as they came tonight.
A choice lyric sent him into a small rant at some point, each new comment springing a giggle out of you. It warmed him each time to hear, though he wouldn't say so in words, even as he attempted to. Johnny feared he could never find the right way to express himself to you, but it never kept him from trying. He always was adaptive to anyone and anything, it seems. Anytime the world allowed for it.
The silence returned after a few more roads had passed, as though a sudden realization had dawned on you both; an impending doom and growing nausea which came once more. Reality.
When this drive was over, this was it. He'd be gone for another long assignment. Another indefinite amount of time. Another handful of moments taken. And after a long talk over dinner, you both came to the mutually painful conclusion that things needed to end.
Your lives split you two apart more often than not, and it was past time for you both to move forward without one another, no matter how ambitious you both had been about things; your problems could be swept away no longer.
For the first year it hadn't been so bad -- the long evening phone calls, the gifts and letters, and that unmatched excitement from finally reuniting. It made for memories you were sure to live with until your elderly days; like falling in love all over again. Yes... it hadn't been so bad the first year.
It took him about as long to make things between you two official; a whole year of him popping in and out of your area like a short-lived dream. When he'd asked you to be his girlfriend, you could feel the hesitancy mixed into the excitement in his voice, not from a fear of rejection but rather a fear of regret. Because even then he knew that being with him wouldn't be easy. You believed you could handle it.
By the third year the phone calls grew routine, feeling more akin to a daily task you had to do rather than a want or need. And while at times you had bemoaned the interruption they caused in your schedule, selfish as it had made you feel, you'd cry yourself to sleep every night you didn't hear from him at all, wanting to go back to those five minutes he could spare you between missions.
Eventually the stretches of radio silence between your calls grew so much that you stopped noticing them after awhile. These days it feels you've been together separately more often than near one another. His calm blue eyes looked more accustomed to your phone screen than right in front of you.
And it hadn't been as though Johnny were purposefully pushing you away. There was nothing more he wanted than to just find a nice plot of land and spend the rest of his days with you.
But this other side of him, his identity before you that had been the very other core of himself, Soap... that had just been a part of him that could not be separated.
He lived for his career, and it's all he's ever known until now. Being a soldier had meant everything to him and it hadn't been something he could so easily set aside, not even for you it seems. It was the one thing he felt he'd been good at, and it brought him just as much pride.
You couldn't take him away from his life, just as he couldn't do so to you. Your life mattered too, and that included being deserving of a present love. Someone to be there for the special moments, and someone you didn't have to wait for.
So he would stay a soldier, and you would go back to your life, uninterrupted this time. So goes the end of what had otherwise been a pleasant on-and-off time between you two.
But you hadn't wanted your last memories to be this. To be you both sitting silently, sadly, in the car as he drives you home. The ultimate summary of your relationship. You hadn't wanted this ending to feel so awful if it had been something you both agreed upon.
So you turn up the car radio and you sink back into the passenger's seat with a bittersweet smile. And when a dumb joke crosses his mind, Johnny finds himself unable to keep himself from sharing, even laughing for a time or two before the joke had even come out. If you both didn't talk about the obvious, then it didn't have to mean anything right now. Let that be later, and these moments feel endless.
You hope whatever road this is, that you've hit every red light, every stop sign, and every passing pedestrian the street could throw at you. You hoped Johnny would drive five miles under the speed limit and accidentally forget a turn or two, forcing him to backtrack and restart the route once again. You would hope to stop time itself tonight and keep the sun from setting any further over these quiet streets.
It was the hope that hurt the most, knowing these wishes were impossible and out of your hands, just as life always was. But you hoped for these things regardless. If not that, what else would there be beyond everything else around you?
You loved these finite moments, and it's many sweet little trappings. They were often provided just by the cool touch of his skin on yours, or the vibrations of his voice against your living room walls. You could spend ten years apart and three minutes together, and those three minutes would be the only thing you think about for the next ten years to come.
With each light you've passed, and corner you've turned, dread slowly rises in you, knotting in your throat even as you try to keep singing along to the radio.
Johnny stopped talking as much the closer you got home; he even stopped taking quick glances your way, replaced by small sighs and silences. You always did envy his ability to remain so calm around you, unable to tell if it had been some front of his or merely a side of him that you alone brought out of him.
Your eyes look down to see his hand firmly resting over the stick-shift, and you invite your own over it, letting your fingers dance lightly over his warm skin and cup them into your palm, feeling Johnny's fingers gently squeeze over yours as he's felt you.
His blue eyes glance your way momentarily, dipping back and forth between you and the road. He always adored the way you looked in his passenger's seat, sat comfortably with your legs crossed and your body leaned in as toward him as you could be within this confined space. He could easily reach out and let his hand rest over your thigh, that simple trust bringing him peace for the entire ride. Tonight his hand felt perfectly placed in yours, having your thumb caress his rough skin, and your warmth take the coolness in his palms away.
You come across a red light, the final one before your road. A brief moment longer between you two parted ways for good.
You look over at Johnny, who looks back at you. Had it been daytime, he may have seen the tears brewing in your eyes rather than the hazy gloss the night had shaded them with instead, tinted by a crimson glow.
"When are you leaving?" You could no longer keep the question to yourself, despite knowing the detail had been trivial at this point. A small part of you just needed to know.
Johnny holds back a sigh, keeping his gaze locked on you. "...Tomorrow afternoon."
"Ah..." You look down at your lap shyly, drumming your hand lightly against your thighs. "I'm guessing you won't be able to see me one more time before you go then..."
If he could have more time, he would give it to you in a heartbeat. He would have said that to you, but something held back his tongue. Some fear he'd yet to get over which had been admitting to the desperation he'd slowly begun to feel tonight. A desperation to make the time stop, take it back... only to be followed by the discomforting realization that no matter what, you could not in fact stop time. For better or for worse.
"I'm afraid not, Bonnie..." he said. "...I'm sorry."
"It's OK," you say, though your voice is faint. "Well... do you think you can spend the night?"
Johnny knew what you were doing, or rather trying to do. He knows you're well aware that he had until the sun rises before his departure, so if you could take every last hour of that time until then, you'd search for a way, somehow. It's something he loved most about you, and found himself thinking back on at multiple points throughout the night as he'd followed you into your apartment, prepared to make himself at home for a final time in your walls.
Your couch felt a bit more cozy this time, your living room more warm. There'd been no concern as to look at the clock, your drooping eyes and slurred words telling time well enough. Neither of you can remember when the conversation ended that night, but you wouldn't forget when he took you into his arms for again, pulling you into him beneath your covers, lips locking with yours.
Wrapped in each other, you didn't want to forget his skin or scent, the taste of his lips or how each movement brought you immense pleasure. You didn't want to forget a thing.
He fell asleep before you, and you woke up that morning before him. When the sun dipped through the curtains, you'd hoped he'd sleep a bit longer. And when his eyes finally crept open, as bittersweet as it felt, you greeted him with a kiss. It was small, but it was one you would always think back to.
(._. )
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marie-swriting · 6 months
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You Would Both Be Okay - TASM!Peter Parker
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Marvel Masterlist
Summary : You're having a bad day, thankfully your boyfriend knows what to do to help you.
Warnings : neurodivergent!reader, panic attack, school pressure, hurt/comfort, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.
A/N : This was requested by my talented best friend @kaeinherworld I'm very honoured that she wanted me to write an one shot for her so, Kae, I hope you'll like it as much as I liked the Stefan Salvatore one shot you wrote for me years ago (and unlike you, I won't delete it!) ❤️
Word count : 2.2k
French version
Prompt : "Person A is having a panic attack and they desperately try to hide it, but Person B sees right through them and knows the right thing to do to calm A down." from this prompt list made by @creativepromptsforwriting
Song inspiration : Love The Hell Out Of You by Lewis Capaldi
Too much. If someone had asked you to define that day, you’d have answered it was too much. Too much stress. Too much noise. Too many people. Too much of everything. 
As soon as you had woken up, you had felt this day wouldn’t be the best and the following hours had confirmed it. University was particularly exhausting. The end of the semester was quickly getting closer and the pile of assignments to hand back and study to do was growing at the same rhythm. Your focus and motivation were struggling more and more to stay by your side. You were only waiting for spring break to - finally - breathe and isolate yourself.
On top of the pressure from University, you hadn’t seen Peter the whole day. Even if you didn’t have the same classes, you would always find a way to meet for lunch or at least ten minutes during the afternoon. Unfortunately, Friday was your busiest day and it was impossible for you two to see each other on campus, therefore, you were even more edgy. Sure, you’d spend the night at his place for your weekly viewing of Star Trek but you wanted to be in his arms as fast as possible. 
As soon as your teacher finished his lesson - not without adding an umpteenth assignment, you packed your things. Despite the knot still present in your stomach, you could take air into your lungs a bit more easily at last. However, you were waiting to set your eyes on your boyfriend to take a real breath.
Upon arriving home, your parents didn't take the time to greet you or ask you how your day went, they rushed to make a snarky comment about your school grades without even knowing what they were talking about. Your anxiety was slowly turning into frustration and you did everything in your power to not say a word, you were holding on the last bit of calmness you still had. Without glancing at them, you went to your room and closed the door without wasting a second before laying on your bed. 
You had less than an hour before Peter was over with his classes. You took advantage of that time to get away from the stressful atmosphere. Your noise cancelling earphones in your ears, you took the book on your nightstand, Lord Of The Rings - you couldn’t say how many times you had read it. What was supposed to give you some sense of comfort got you more frustrated. Your mind was too overworked to focus on your reading and the way you had been around too much stimulus didn’t help either. Annoyed, you closed your book ten minutes later and waited for Peter impatiently.
Relief could be read on your face when you heard Peter knocking on your door. Unintentionally, you glanced at the window. It wasn’t rare for Peter to come see you before or after his night patrols and as he had to be discreet, he’d come through the window.
After putting your earphones and your book in your bag, you took it in your hands and met Peter at the entrance. He kissed you for the first time since the night before. The kiss was quick but full of love. He took your bag and put it on his shoulder whilst you took his hand in yours. Following this contact, your shoulders relaxed a bit.
On the way home, Peter was the one speaking, telling you all about his day. Normally, you would have answered him with passion and would have told him about every single thought running through your mind but being too tired, you preferred to stay silent. Peter, always being the caring boyfriend and knowing you since childhood, noticed your mutism instantly yet, he didn’t comment on it. With a simple look, he understood you had had a long day. While he kept talking, he paid attention to your gesture, being ready to react if you needed anything.
The trip to Peter’s seemed longer than usual, you couldn’t see the end of it. You held yourself back from sighing several times in the subway.
Once you were at his place, you went to the kitchen where you swiftly greeted Aunt May who had to leave for work. When you were alone, Peter took two glasses and a bottle of soda whilst you took some popcorn for your night. 
In his room, Peter gave you one of his tee shirts that you put on fastly, wanting to smell his scent on you. His tee shirt looked more like a dress but you didn’t mind it. Peter changed into more comfortable clothes as well. 
Once you were on Peter’s bed, you laid on your left side, putting your head on your boyfriend’s chest while the computer was on his legs and the bowl of popcorn between you two. During the first minutes of Star Trek Into Darkness, you were able to focus then you thought about University, in spite of yourself.
The thought had just crossed your mind for a second, nonetheless it was enough to distract you. Mentally, you made a list of everything you had to do. The more you were thinking, the more you were aware of the work you still had left. Feeling your hands starting to shake, you knew the panic attack was around the corner. You tried to take deep breaths discreetly, hoping to not catch Peter’s attention - his spideysense could betray you at any given moment. When your heart began racing as well, you knew it was too late. Hiding your jerky breaths as best as you could, you tried getting out of the bed normally with teary eyes. You didn’t have the time to move a leg that Peter was already facing you, he was on his guard. Bluntly, he put the computer and the bowl of popcorn on the floor and helped you to sit on the bed correctly. You brought your hand on your chest, the pain becoming stronger and at the same time, your tears were running down your cheeks.
Peter was looking at you without touching you, afraid it would make the situation worse - he knew you weren’t fond of physical touch so he was always making sure he was respecting your boundaries, especially in those kinds of situations. Rapidly, he hid his panic, you needed to see him calm.
“Hey, it’s gonna be okay.” Peter assured you. “Can I take your hand to put it on my heart ?”
You nodded with difficulty as an answer. Delicately, he took the hand that was on your thigh in his. His grip on your hand was light, giving you the chance to take it out if you changed your mind. He put your hand on his heart and he gave you a reassuring look before adding : 
“Alright. We’re gonna breathe together slowly. It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay, Y/N.” he repeated. “You’re safe. Take a deep breath through the nose and exhale through the mouth.” Peter told you, doing it with you. “Look at our hands.”
At his sentence, you did what he told you. As you kept looking at the fixed point, you felt Peter’s calm heartbeat through your hand and it helped you to feel more shielded. You were still struggling to breathe but after the fifth inspiration, your heart and your tears began to calm down.
“It’s okay. You’re okay.” Peter whispered. 
A few minutes later and thanks to Peter’s help, you were respiring normally again. He stopped talking, allowing you to pull yourself together at your own pace. You kept your eyes on both of your hands for a few more seconds, enjoying the calm. Peter’s eyes didn’t leave your figure, making sure the panic attack wasn’t coming back. 
When you got a hold of yourself, you stopped looking at your hands whilst a feeling of shame went through your body. You avoided Peter’s gaze and you wiped your wet cheeks with your free hand. It wasn’t the first time Peter witnessed one of your panic attacks however, you didn’t like being that vulnerable in front of him. You took your hand from his chest and started playing with your fingers. You didn’t dare to break the silence first and Peter understood it clearly.
“Do you want to talk about it ?”
“There’s not a lot to say.” you stated with a deeper voice than usual as you were tired.
“You hadn’t had a panic attack in a long time.” Peter noticed.
“Well, the end of the semester doesn’t really help not to be anxious.”
“There’s something else.”
Hearing his sentence, you couldn’t help but be a bit annoyed. He knew you like the back of his hand. Despite your efforts, you couldn’t hide anything from him so you sigh before admitting reluctantly : 
“It just wasn’t a great day. It’s nothing. I’m fine.” you brushed it off, forcing yourself to look at him for a second.
“You know you can tell me everything. You also know I don’t mind listening to you and helping you.” he reminded you softly.
“I know.”
“I mean it, Y/N. You've always helped me, especially after I became Spiderman so it’s only fair I return the favour.”
“I just don’t want to be a burden for you.” you confessed with difficulty.
“You are not a burden and you never will be. I will do everything for you. You’ve helped me and you’ve loved me so much so just know, I will always love the hell out of you.”
Not knowing what to answer, you leaned in and pressed your lips on his. You kissed gently, enjoying each other’s presence. With that kiss, you wanted to show him all your love and gratitude. He knew what to say to make you feel better and you knew he was sincere in his words. Peter would have brought you Heavens if that was what you had needed. He would have taken all the pain you were going through if he could have and he still would have smiled at you while doing so. He would have done everything that was possible and impossible for you and you would always be grateful for it.
Peter let you take control of the kiss, allowing you to break it whenever you wanted to. When you did it, you looked at Peter tenderly whilst he was smiling at you with the same softness.
“We can talk about it later, if you prefer.” he said, knowing you needed time. “Do you need anything ?”
“I’d like it if you grabbed my noise cancelling earphones for me and if we stayed in bed for a few moments.” you answered slowly.
Peter took what you needed in your bag and handed you your earphones. You put them in your ears, the silence comforting you a bit more while Peter was laying back down on the bed. You didn’t fully bring yourself closer to him, still needing some space but you took his right hand and played with his fingers. You let go of a sigh whilst Peter was watching you, still on his toes just in case.
You stayed in the same position until the sun left the sky. At one point, you even closed your eyes without sleeping. Once you felt a bit better, you took your earphones off and opened your eyes. Peter gave you a light smile and you did the same to him before he spoke.
“You want some tea ? I’ve got everything for your favourite tea.”
“What did I do to deserve you ?” you rhetorically asked, your smile growing bigger and your eyes full of love.
“You punched Josh Stewart when we were six because he had thrown my stuff on the floor.” he answered, making you laugh, the memory of your first meeting playing in your head. “So, tea ?”
“I’d like one.”
“I’ll be right back.”
After kissing you on your forehead, Peter left his bedroom. A few minutes later, he came back with a mug in his hands. He gave it to you while you sat up, resting your back against the wall. You took a big sip, enjoying the taste of black tea with lime, orange and spice. You kept the mug in your hands and Peter grabbed the book in your bag. He didn’t need to ask you to know you had brought one with you, you always had a book on you, no matter what. Peter laughed lightly when he noticed you were rereading Lord Of The Rings. He got on the bed, sitting next to you. While he was opening the book, you snuggled into him. Peter put his right arm around your shoulders, drawing you closer to him. You took another sip of your tea and Peter started reading where you had stopped.
As you were listening to Peter reading, you couldn’t help but feel grateful to have him in your life. He knew exactly what to do and say to help you feel better. You couldn’t have dreamed of a better boyfriend. You knew there would always be moments where you wouldn’t be okay like that day, just like Peter would have his bad days, but as long as you were together, you would both be okay.
Marvel Masterlist
{This is my side blog so I'll be answering comments under the username @marie-sworld}
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legolasghosty · 25 days
Note
writing prompt of Juke as Enemies to Lovers + "you can throw how many darts at it as you want, but you still put her picture on your wall"
Anon, I am so so so sorry for how long this has taken! I swear my brain just hasn't been working for creative stuff and I'm sorry but here it finally is, I hope you find it!
-----
"I hate her," Luke growls as he enters the studio, slamming the door behind him.
"No you don't," Alex sighs from his corner of the couch, hunched over a history book.
Luke just shoots a glare at him. Alex rolls his eyes and grabs a pencil to start filling out the questions on his worksheet. Luke turns to Bobby, who is taking up the rest of the couch with his unfairly long legs.
"Don't look at me, dude," Bobby sighs, giving him a flat stare. "I'm with Alex on this one."
Alex reaches out and offers Bobby a fist bump without looking up. The two bump knuckles and Luke fumes.
"Do you guys even listen to me?" he exclaims. "Julie Molina is literally the bane of my existence."
At that, Reggie just starts laughing from his spot on the coffee table. "Really, Luke?" he teases. "Julie?"
Alex chuckles as well. "Yeah, not like, I don't know, biology or your curfew or the flu or something?"
"She's literally the worst person I have ever worked with!" Luke cries, fed up with the distinct lack of sympathy from his no longer best friends.
"You printed out her picture in the school yearbook to pin up on your wall," Bobby points out.
"For literal target practice!" Luke nearly yells. "And it's working, I've gotten pretty good at nailing that gap between her front teeth. And her eyes. And all the little colored things in her hair." When his bandmates don't say anything, Luke barrels on. "She won't say two words to me that aren't directly connected to this stupid assignment, she won't meet up anywhere other than school to work on it, and she glares at me for 'humming too loud', even though I know she's an amazing musician!"
Luke has hated Julie Molina for the better part of a year now, and it's easy for him to trace it back to its beginning. She'd performed in a spring recital at the school last year. She'd blown Luke's socks off with her incredible voice. It shook him down to his bones and he couldn't wait to find her afterwards and tell her how amazing it had been. He hadn't been able to find her, but hadn't worried much. They went to the same school after all.
But when he'd finally run into her a few weeks later near the bathrooms, she'd practically bitten his head off the second he called her a musician. And from that day on, Luke hated her. Because he can take people being rude to him, but turning on music?! Only a monster would do that. And in their interactions since then, she's only proven his point. She's a jerk.
"You can throw all the darts you want, but you still put her picture on your wall," Alex groans. "Have you tried actually having a civil conversation with her? Without talking about music?"
"What else would there be to talk about?" Luke demanded, kicking at the leg of the coffee table in pure frustration.
"Movies?" Reggie suggests.
"School?" Bobby adds.
"Literally any other interesting thing about life?" Alex finishes.
Luke lets out an angry huff and spins on his heel, heading for the bathroom. As soon as it slams shut behind him, Bobby lets his palm connect with his face.
"This is pointless," Reggie sighs. "Just got a text from Jules too, stating that Luke is a selfish moron."
Alex pulls out his phone. "I'm texting Flynn. If they aren't going to have a conversation themselves, then I swear I'm going to lock them in a closet until they do."
"I mean they're both already out," Bobby jokes, but he nods. "But yeah, I'm very sick of the headaches induced by them not realizing they're in love with each other."
"Ditto," Reggie says.
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mosneakers · 10 months
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Coni: You know he doesn't get off work for one hour and seventeen minutes. Checking the time every two seconds won't bring him back any faster.
Coraleye: I know I know, but I can't help it! I haven't seen him in so long and maybe I'm just procrastinating because I know I should be focusing on my university assignment, but I just miss him so bad, Coni. Coni: Wait, assignment? Over your Spring Break? What's wrong with you?
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Coraleye: What? [Shrugs] I don't want to spend the little bit of time I have away from university doing more work, trust me. After my last holiday break with the family, which was kind of a... bummer, to say the least, I really wanted to devote this time to love and romance and... [sighs and smiles slightly] Tycho... But, this assignment is a huge chunk of my grade, unfortunately.
Coni: [Rolls eyes] You're way too pretty to have to do stupid assignments over your break. Use what you've got, Coraleye. I love you but I swear sometimes you're just a beautiful idiot. Coraleye: ...Thank you?
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Coni: [Sighs] Anyway, what's the assignment?
Coraleye: Well, I'm supposed to write an essay on where I see my life in ten years. I think for my career, I can manage that much, but for the other details, well... there's so many... things... left up in the air for me right now. I'm at kind of a crossroads and I'm afraid of being stuck here. Coni closes her eyes. It's clear she wants to speak, but she only remains quiet. Coraleye: ...Well? Nothing to say to that? I suppose you already have the next ten years of your life planned out? Coni: Of course I do.
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Coraleye grins and leans back into the lounge chair, while putting her sunglasses back on. Coraleye: Well that must be nice, to have a love life so uncomplicated. Do you think you'll still be living here in Strangerville, with my brother, in Old Penelope?
Coni: Are you joking? This musty-ass, dingy robot factory of a bunker is no place to raise kids. Especially not our Darling babies!
Coraleye: Well, I need inspiration and we have an hour and fourteen minutes to spare. What is your ten year plan? Coni: I'll tell you exactly what my ten year plan is.
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weirdkpopgirl · 1 year
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Hold Him Close | Haechan Imagine #1
Title: Hold Him Close
Genre: Slight angst, slight fluff
Warnings: a very tired Haechan :(
Word Count: 597
Author’s Note: I’ve seen some people write similar stories, and I’m really glad people are using their creativity to do that. I’m sure a lot of you are also upset with how overworked Mark and Haechan have been lately. As someone who is pissed off about the situation, I wanted to write this story for him. I wish I could do more to show my support and wish for them to get some rest. As of now, I’m afraid this is all I can do. Thank you for reading ^ - ^
Also thank you so much for 300 followers ㅠㅠ
─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─
After the fifth yawn, you started to think that staying up until two a.m. to get ahead on university homework wasn’t the best idea. You sighed and glanced over the papers of notes scattered around the coffee table. For the past few hours, you’ve been sitting in the same spot working on several assignments for different classes. Now you were down to your last drop of energy. Strangely, you weren’t too bothered by that. Despite the lack of sleep, you appreciated the cozy silence of your studio apartment. 
The doorbell buzzed just as you were contemplating whether to retire for the night. You didn’t even need to look at the camera monitor to know who it was. Springing up from your seat on the floor, you quickly crossed the room to answer the door.
As soon as you let him in, he practically collapsed onto you.
“Hyuck?” Your voice was a mix of surprise and slight worry. He snuggled into your neck, taking in your scent and warmth. You decided to refrain from asking questions and wrapped your arms around his waist.
Neither of you said anything and stayed in this position for a few minutes. Haechan didn’t know what to expect when he showed up at your place at such a crazy hour. He wasn’t even sure you were awake when he finished his schedule half an hour ago. All he knew was that he wanted to see you.
Eventually, you pulled away and cupped the tired boy’s face in your hands. Seeing the messy hair and dark circles under his eyes triggered a renewed emotion of outrage. Usually, you hold that feeling back. But you’ve seen Haechan in an exhausted state too many times to count. A part of you wanted to march up to the SM building and tell off the company for overworking your boyfriend.
“Aish, I hate seeing you like this.” 
The heartbreak in your tone, made his heart ache too. His left hand reached to intertwine with yours that rested on his cheek. He looked into your eyes which had become glossy from angry tears that threatened to fall any second. Feelings of guilt arose in his chest. He didn’t mean to make you worry.
“It’s okay, Jagiya. Work gets tiring sometimes, but I can handle it.” His words did little to put you at ease and he knew it. 
He then leaned forward to press a soft kiss on your forehead. Being in your presence alone made him feel so much better. As if he could take on anything the world threw at him.
“I’m sorry for coming in like this. But I could really use your cuddles right now,” He said, still managing to smile through all this.
He didn’t need to tell you twice. After removing his shoes, you brought him to lie down in bed together. Final exams, projects, and work were momentarily forgotten. Donghyuck held you close to him, his chin resting atop your head. While your fingers gently stroked his back, hoping to help him sleep faster. 
Just before sleep overtook you both, he made sure to whisper, “I love you, (Y/n). Thank you for being with me.”
 A dozen emotions filled you all at once. So many things that you wanted to say. Instead, you returned his forehead kiss from earlier and gave the response he needed to hear.
“I love you too, Donghyuck. Forever and always.”
─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─
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seirette · 1 year
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Scenario Descriptions, Rambling & Art Notes
Read more about what's happening in the photos, and some technical notes, under the cut!
Links
Original Artwork this is talking about is here.
Winter Notes - You are here. For individual cropped photos, see Ko-Fi Post
Spring - TBA (Maybe if Kofi goal is reached, or if I get bored)
Summer - TBA (Kofi or if I get bored)
I'll update the links once everything is up!
Notes from Twitter
(Selected notes from my Twitter.)
This takes place after the events of the game. Susie, Noelle, Kris and Berdly have all started to change, either an obvious way or not. Change takes time. Sometimes you regress. Or sometimes you remain at a certain stage and that's fine for you. Whatever, that's life.
Not pictured: whenever they all had a fight
I started drawing the image set (4 images) 2 weeks before it was finished, so I didn't get to add the other HomeTown kids as cameos (Jock in Summer, Catti & Tem in Spring, MK and Snowy in Winter). I wanted more scenarios but I just blew up what I had to fill up the canvas more. But the hands in the original image block out so much anyway.
Scenario Descriptions
As some people have noticed, each Lightner has a season assigned to them.
Winter - Noelle
Spring - Susie
Summer - Berdly
Autumn - Kris
I chose Winter for Noelle. I like to imagine she can handle the cold. In the game it says she stands in front of the fridge in Sans' shop often, and she probably likes cool air. I took that at face value. But, in the game, it's Autumn and she wears a sweater-vest like thing. And some people said she might be staring at the fridge in Sans' shop because they print Missing Children on milk cartons (Dess).
At the very least Noelle seems to like the pretty snow things in the Cyber World. It's fun to imagine things about characters, isn't it? It also makes writing very tough.
Anyway, Noelle decided for her part of the trip, she wanted to see a snow festival somewhere outside of HomeTown. Kris and Berdly suggested snowboarding or skiing. Susie agreed to snowboarding (because it's close to Skateboarding...?). I didn't really get to draw a snow festival in the end... oops.
Extra scenarios I wanted to draw:
Ice Sculpture festival. Noelle sees some creatures and thinks about how some of the more artsy sculptures remind her of Cat Petterz 2. There is a Drinks Bar made of ice.
Snowball fight. Susie is defeated immediately purely due to having a larger hitbox. Kris is the smallest and good at dodging (or are they just good at deflecting?). Berdly comes up a bunch of mid-tier tactics, all of them fail but the last one works so he considers himself a winner anyway. Also Snowy and Monster Kid are here too. Snowy's head is a snowflake shape, each 'leaf' is loaded with a snowball each, and they are used like a chain gun/snowball machine gun like RATATATATATA...
Ice skating. Noelle is tries to teach Susie. Kris watches from afar while talking with Monster Kid and Snowy.
Quiet moments in the snow with friends watching the sunset. Just as a reminder I don't ship anything (I only explore friendships). So all the relationships/crushes that are in the game as of Chapter 2 are still intact, I haven't changed that part.
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Photo 1
Do you think Susie and Berdly will become better 'friends' after Deltarune? At least in the timeline where you don't Kill Berdly, anyway. I think they could have some good slapstick moments. Honestly anything involving Berdly is great, unless you hate Berdly.
Anyway in the first photo, Kris, Susie and Berdly have decided to snowboard/ski down from the top of the mountain. Noelle is on a break. Susie is impressed by the scenery. She's with her friends, she's getting better at snow boarding. She's happy. They take a break together to stare at the mountains as the snow falls and melts on their noses. They don't mind the cold.
Kris takes the photo to preserve the moment for Susie. Also because if Berdly and Susie ever have a fight they can all stare at this photo together and remember the good times.
Photo 2
The gang reunite with Noelle at the bottom of the mountain. It was Noelle's idea to take the photo. Noelle also says she 'wants more photos with "everyone else"'. That doesn't happen, because if you look at the background, Berdly has fallen on his arse. They wait for him to travel down the mountainside, just to tell him they caught his epic fall on film.
The stickers on the snowboards don't mean anything - it is rental gear, the rental shop has a lot of duplicates of the same design. The stickers are just for the customers to tell them apart from other customers with the same design... I wanted to put funny numbers like 420...
Photo 3
On another trip down the mountain. It's just a cool shot of Kris. Berdly's about to stack it again. I'm sure Berdly isn't that bad at sports, but he's just not going well today. Despite the protective gear and snow goggles, you'll notice something about his glasses later.
Do you think Susie and Noelle also stacked it on this hill? Do you think Susie kept asking everyone to go up the mountain "one more time" so she could ace this hill? How do you think Berdly felt about having a bad day with Sports?
Clothes Part 1
For the clothes, Kris and Susie are wearing rentals. Originally they were both going to be wearing red. But I thought Kris wearing blue like their Dark World outfit was nice. I was thinking of giving Kris a custom outfit but I thought "Kris has some money after Deltarune but not THAT much money, so I'll give them a rental outfit". Actually none of these kids should have the money for 4 trips in a single year, OR a sabbatical, but I decided to stop thinking about that because I just want to see blorbos enjoying themselves.
Also I had to give SOMEONE overalls, so Berdly gets his custom bought overalls with a green neck warmer. Even though snowboarding looks cooler, he chooses to ski this trip. Noelle is also skiing. They're the
Super-Elegant Skiing Duo of HomeTown High
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Photo 4 & Photo 5
Berdly's glasses are botched. I wonder what happened? Don't you think it's a good metaphor for something? You should think about what it means to you, because I can't do that for you.
Anyway, what's Kris doing? Sometimes you banter with Berdly, sometimes you help him build his dream body in a snowman. Originally the beak was going to be broken, and the whole statue was botched, with Kris snickering at Berdly.
But I decided Kris is so tired from snowboarding the previous day that they've decided to just chill out the day this photo was taken.
Susie snuck away past the trees. She misses Lancer. Kris and Noelle find her and insist on take a photo next to her masterpiece.
Photo 6
Noelle - food pic! It's not a very interesting food item, though. Some gimmicky food cart selling shaved ice with dark colored sprinkles that look like the hairy mountain behind them.
It's actually seaweed sprinkles. Kris eats moss in the Dark World, but they're not sure how they feel about seaweed on shaved ice. There's other syrup flavors in the cup too. It just tastes like an average savory-flavored sweet.
Susie was starting to feel cold, so Noelle and Kris gave her a beanie. But Susie loses the beanie somehow, shortly afterward. Susie, running low on cash, asks if she can share with Berdly. Once purchased, Noelle sees them sharing the shaved ice and wishes she offered to share first.Kris regrets buying a whole serving at all.
Clothes Part 2
Berdly: He gets surprisingly neutral clothes. Also I thought earmuffs would match the ear things he has in the Dark World. Also a bird needing earmuffs but the human not wearing them is hilarious to me.
Kris: I like it when people paint Kris' Dark World scarf as a pink scarf with purple shading, or vice-versa. But it wasn't obvious enough so I just went for the other fandom interpretation of "stripy scarf". By the way, I think it would be REALLY COOL if the scarf was actually a sweater. Like, when you take off the sweater but you didn't actually take it off completely, so it's just stuck around your neck. Anyway that's why Kris has a Stripy scarf and grey mitts. I also took some time to think about what would look 'gender'. But I'm no good at fashion. I'm going f*cking insane over Kris Dreemurr.
Susie is wearing the same pants here, but she has thermal wear underneath. She just gets the cheapest warmest jacket possible (the type that old people all seem to wear).
Noelle (see below): I'll talk about it more in the Spring Anniversary image, but I have a hard time thinking about what kind of clothes Noelle would pick. Like, in the game, is she wearing clothes that her mom picked for her? Anyway she's wearing a skirt and turtleneck here. She wears the same skirt in Spring.
Overall I wanted to give them all neutral/normal looking clothing.
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Photo 7 & Photo 8
Last part of the trip. They have dinner at some place that gets lots of pictures and reviews on social media. Also, I was going to draw them drinking mulled wine. I have always heard of stories of people going on ski trips and drinking mulled wine at a random house. I've never drunken mulled wine. But the imagery of being red faced and merry in the snow seems very warm to me.
I decided not to draw them drinking alcohol because if it turns out any of these Lightners have bad experiences/memories of it, I'd be pretty sad... By the way, in Australia you can legally start to drink alcohol at 18. Please consume alcohol safely. Anyway, now the Lightners are just waiting for food in this picture
The cat and rabbit in the background are dating.
Photo 9 (not pictured in above image, scroll to top)
The main picture is the last photo of the trip. Noelle's expression seems flustered, doesn't it? Originally Noelle was going to be tipsy and "OH SUSIE YOU CAN'T LET MY MOM SEE THIS PHOTO" but I changed my mind with the alcohol. Now she's happy Susie's taking a photo, but also been caught off-guard. Okay but she's holding a cup, she could totally be having a sippy. The reality is that I drew this picture but I still don't know. I'll let you decide.
By the way, just to let you know, Berdly is doing most of the driving in these trips. Kris can drive a little but isn't able to drive internationally yet. I don't know about Susie and Noelle (I don't think Susie could have afforded the lessons, but I do like the idea of Susie driving Kris around in college due to REASONS). If it turns out I'm totally wrong... whatever, I don't care, it's not shown in these images anyway so you can assume they took public transport.
I think the most "drama" is in the Spring set of images.
Art Notes
First off let's look at the thumbnails.
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My handwriting is passable here. Usually it looks like squiggles. The main ideas are pretty much the same, but you can see that I changed Susie's hairstyle back to her default hair style. Also Kris was originally laughing at Berdly's broken snowman.
Most of these thumbnails (background photos) were drawn in Cartoon/comic style - to save time... more on that later.
Row 1 (see below): For the main image, I drew 2-3 passes (Thumbnail, rough sketch, maybe extra for clothes, then line art). Berdly looked awful at first so I redrew him a few times. Actually I'm not so happy with Susie's snoot but since this was the first canvas, I was worried about time and didn't want to deal with her snoot blocking out Noelle, and I wanted Susie's face to still be in frame... so I left it.
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Row 2: Left - without color filters, Right - with filters. (It might not look that different... oops)
Since I use grisaille, it's kind of like shading with black... nothing wrong with that if you want that look, but if I want the colors to pop more, I add a gradient map...
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Row 3: Nothing special. Just two layers of gradient maps... I literally just downloaded whatever the popular gradient map packs were, flicked through a bunch and picked what I liked. The first one is set to overlay, the second one the instructions in Japanese roughly says "Set this gradient map to ~20% Color" so that's why I've set the layer to those settings.
Row 4: Left most Susie - this is the original painted image with the color gradient maps, before Tone Curve and Level Correction.
I wanted to imitate the coloring in photos. The polaroid photos I've seen, the first thing I think of is "Flash was used so all the highlights are blown out", and that the black shadow areas are never #FFFFFF amount of dark... so that's why, in the Tone Curve, I lifted the leftmost (axis at 0) up a notch. Anyway you can see the effect is lower contrast by a bit. Instead of using a Tone Curve you can also just use some layer effects (e.g., Exclusion layer blend mode or whatever). It doesn't really matter just do whatever you feel like doing, I can't stop you.
The next step I added Level correction (just to play around, honestly). Actually this added back some contrast. Whatever, I just did what looked nice...
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Row 5: This is the layer composition.
Characters (By the way Berdly looks great without glasses).
Lights (1 layer of boxes of random colors, then I duplicated, blurred, and set to glow/light blend modes)
Trees with snow clumps
Smog (used some smoke/cloud brush set for this)
Main background flats
When I do paintings like this, the characters are always painted in grisaille. I have a few posts with WIPs on this blog showing grisaille stuff, but anyway I'll talk about it in the Spring Anniversary image details. If you want to see that, and also what the hell is going on in the Spring photos, you can donate to my Kofi to reach the goal.......
A nice thing to note about the Anniversary artwork as a whole is that the characters are mostly close to the camera, so I can just wing the background (i.e., I don't have to draw buildings or architecture TOO detailed). This is great because I was in a rush!
Tumblr media
For the remaining images, I knew they were going to be blurred. So I just drew the characters in cartoon comic style that I use. This means for the characters I can just grab the palette I already have (don't have to spend any time picking colors).
The backgrounds were still (roughly) painted.
Row 6: Some images without the filters and layer effects. You can see the characters don't fit well into the background without them...!
Row 7 (Left): Polaroid layers
Polaroid Frame
Multiply - shadow layer of the Polaroid frame
Background - I just winged this
Set - Lineart and flats.
Multiply layer - shadows for the Set above. I have 2 shadow colors which are just light and dark purple (you can see my palette in Row 6).
Row 7 (Right): Photo layers - not much to say here, same as previous, just a more background oriented photo...
Details I really wanted to add but skipped them due to time shortage:
Extra lighting (highlights)
Blurring items (e.g., far away background images, whatever is 'not in focus, and so on...)
Drawing other Lightner characters into the scenarios!
MORE FOOD PICTURES!
Fixing wonky anatomy (even the 'chibi' anatomy)
I think I wrote too much. If you got this far, thanks for reading so much :)
Also if anything I make (comics, etc) makes you happy feel free to tip me/buy me a coffee 😊
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sitp-recs · 10 months
Note
heyo! do you know of any fics with period-typical homophobia? i really crave that hurt/comfort yknow
Hello! Sure, I listed below some fics exploring external and/or internalized homophobia. Back in the day (2008-2014) many fics touched on this topic so older stories will likely have what you’re looking for. @writcraft often explores it in their work so I’d definitely browse their full catalogue for more treats!
Born Sick by Writcraft (M, 6k)
Draco has been raised to believe homosexuality is a sin. When he encounters an out and proud Harry Potter, his world turns upside down. He is forced to question his beliefs, his values and himself.
I'll never be your chosen one by Andithiel (E, 15k)
Draco doesn't know what exactly he’s doing with Potter, he doesn't know how their unspoken agreement even started, and doesn't know where it will end. The only thing he knows is: he's not in love.
Vanishing Cabinets by Romaine (E, 18k)
Take one Wizarding Family Values politician who has a secret life, and add one Auror who detests discrimination of any type, but becomes a bit obsessed with said politician, and you have enough sparks to ignite a Beltane fire.
Don't Stop It Before It Begins by mischieviolet (M, 19k)
“I don’t understand how this is of any concern to you, Malfoy,” Harry said, crossing his arms over his chest. Draco blinked at the use of his last name, something that Harry only used with him in jest these days. “I’m merely spending time with my Auror partner, who is from another country, and has no one here. I would do the same if it were you.”
Secret Love Song by Writcraft (E, 22k)
If there's one thing Draco's certain about, it's that Harry Potter's hiding something. When he gets to the bottom of Harry's closely guarded secret, a flippant solution brings them closer together and forces Harry to confront his past.
I Bet That You Look Good on the Dancefloor by birdsofshore (E, 28k)
Harry felt lit up from inside as soon as he entered the bar. There were blokes dancing together, their bodies close to one another, not keeping a wary distance as Harry was always careful to do when he was near another man.
Faint Indirections by ignatiustrout (T, 29k)
Draco Malfoy is the last person Harry expects to turn up in Boston, Massachussetts. But now he's here, and he won't stop requesting books from the library where Harry works.
Around You Moves by ignatiustrout (M, 29k)
Harry knew Draco was gay when he invited him to move in. He’s never had a problem with this. So why does he feel so weird about Draco bringing men home all of a sudden?
War Wounds by SilentAuror (E, 30k)
Some wounds take longer to recover from than others. HP/DM, with background HP/GW. Themes of alcoholism, love triangles, and dubious fidelity.
All Roads by korlaena (M, 36k)
Draco hates his job at the Prophet. He hates it even more when he’s assigned to write an article on Harry Potter, who left the country three years ago after their falling out. Draco doesn’t want to face the truth about himself, but he’s stuck between Harry and his duty, and he’s out of options.
The Beauty of Thestrals and Other Unseen Things by Writcraft (E, 63k)
Harry has terrific friends, an amazing girlfriend and his job as Head Auror enables him to work on challenging cases and Ministry reform. He just wishes he could work out why he’s been so out of sorts.
You open always (petal by petal) by birdsofshore (E, 65k)
Harry’s not the kind of person who pays for sex. He really isn’t. Until he is.
Away Childish Things by lettered (T, 154k)
Harry gets de-aged. Malfoy has to help him.
Things Worth Knowing by Femme and noeon (E, 164k)
After the Battle, Harry thinks he's left Hogwarts for good, but Minerva insists that all students return for an Eighth Year if they wish to sit for NEWTs in the spring, and Harry needs those NEWTs to go into the Aurors. Draco's just grateful not to be in Azkaban. Or the Manor. He's hoping he can steer clear of Potter this year and grapple with his own problems. Unfortunately for him, Potter appears to be one of those problems.
Changing of the Guard by Lomonaaeren (E, 210k)
Need a perfect stranger? Ask Metamorphosis. Harry Potter runs the business secretly and becomes whoever’s needed for each occasion. He’s not sure whether he should be more surprised, worried, or amused when Draco Malfoy comes to Metamorphosis and requests an actor who can play his boyfriend so that his parents will disown him.
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starseneyes · 1 year
Text
Chenford REWIND - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 3 Ep 1, 2 & 3
Season 3 has a totally different rhythm for Tim and Lucy. We're in the last month or so of Tim training Lucy show-wise, and they're definitely friends at this point. We can feel the natural rhythm they've built between them.
I really wanted to string these three episodes together because they're kind of one thought springing from Lucy's post-DOD trauma. I'll get into why once we're past the "Keep Reading" barrier.
SPOILER ALERT: I'm going to spoil these episodes and possibly everything that has come before. Yes, I spend a lot of time on Chenford, but there are also specific Lucy/Tim scenes I focus on because Chenford is nothing without these two separate, beautiful characters. I do try to write without too much foreknowledge of what comes after these episodes.
Are we all clear on what to expect here? Huzzah! Time to dive in.
Consequences
"Look, at the end of the day, we only think we know other people. I learned that the hard way."
Look, Tim's been burned. And burned. And burned. Almost everyone he has ever trusted let him down, shut him out, or manipulated him in some way.
His view may be jaded, but it's also informed by his own life experiences. The one time he really chose to trust was with Isabel... and that fell apart, too.
But Lucy knows Nolan. And she trusts her gut that Nolan is still the same guy today that he was before.
"Drive up to Chowchilla and retrieve the security footage from Nolan's meeting with Rosalind Dyer yesterday."
The second Rosalind's name hits his ears, Tim's eyes flash to Lucy, worry swimming in them as he gazes upon her. Lucy feels that shift as she looks up at him.
Tim's a tough guy, but he knows what it is to have to face the monsters down. He had to live with his. So, the last thing he wants to do is put Lucy in a position where she will be hurt, again.
"Sir, I'm not sure we're the right team for that assignment given Chen's history with Rosalind Dyer." "What assignment?" "He wants us to get the surveillance tape from Nolan's meeting with Rosalind yesterday." "What the hell was he doing meeting with Rosalind?"
It gives me special pleasure that they call Rosalind by her first name.
Back at my university, we had an unspoken rule in the Communications department. If you liked a professor, they were called by their last name in conversation outside of class. If you hated them, first name only.
And there was one teacher we all called by his first name. He was rude, condescending, misogynistic, tried to trick his students on tests, and hated me because I was the first person to ace one of his tests (and I did it on 2/3 that semester).
Demons don't deserve the courtesy of a last name. Rosalind absolutely qualifies.
"It's your call, Bradford. You're her TO. I trust your judgement." "Tim, it's not a problem."
Watch him watching her. Because when it comes to Lucy and this particular subject, he still questions his judgment. But he trusts hers.
She holds his gaze. "I can do this," it says. He finally agrees to the assignment.
"Now head back to the Shop while I get a statement from Rosalind." "What? No way." "It's for your own good."
They got this far, but Tim's still looking for ways to shield Lucy from this. And I doubt he'd do this for anyone else.
Look, we're nowhere near these two dancing the horizontal mambo on Lucy's too-rickety bed, but Tim has a special spot for Lucy by Season 3. It's not just because of DOD. It's because of everything they've been through.
Bit by bit, Lucy Chen has worn down Tim's walls, and he's let her in, bit by bit. Protecting her is just something he does, now.
"You have a personal connection." "So do you." "It's not the same."
Does she mean the case he worked? His connection in the search for Lucy? I've never quite known which she meant, because there are dozens of officers who worked Rosalind Dyer cases. I don't know if I'd call that "personal".
"If I can't handle talking to Rosalind while she's in a cage, I shouldn't be a cop."
And what can he say to that? The rational side agrees with her. But the side that wants nothing more than to protect her is screaming at him. And we all know which side TO Tim leans into. So, together they enter the lioness' den.
"You know, I am so impressed with you."
Rosalind barely acknowledges Tim once she locks onto Lucy Chen. It's been less than six months since Lucy's harrowing near-death experience at the hands of a practiced serial killer—a serial killer under the spell of the caged woman before her.
No, Rosalind wasn't the one placing her in that barrel. But it was her legacy, and Lucy Chen's defiant survival coupled with Caleb's death ended that legacy.
For Rosalind, Lucy will always be of special interest—the girl who refused to scream. Screams were the erotic fixation of the murderer, the source of his perverse pleasure. The panic that rose in the throats of his victims as they grappled with their impending death.
But Lucy Chen didn't scream. She sang. Lucy Chen didn't panic. She persevered. She lived.
"The way you handled what was obviously a very traumatic experience, it's inspiring." "Thanks. That means a lot coming from you." "Rawr. So defiant." "Let's stick to Nolan."
Tim's trying to keep things on track, and right now he's keeping himself in-check. Look, we know that Tim can turn it on the second he needs it—the energy that had him threatening a guy and slamming his head against a steering wheel.
But he's keeping it together because Lucy is keeping it together. He's feeding off of her energy. And much as this sucks, we all know Lucy can keep her head in the game.
"Just like you were when the lid came down on that barrel. You know, it must have driven Caleb crazy, denying him the fear that he desperately wanted to see in you." "How-" "Do I know that? You think the camera in the barrel was for Caleb?"
In the words of Malcolm Bright from Prodigal Son, "I have so many questions". Now, some of them are answered in this episode (secret phone in the wall), but I'm surprised neither of them questioned how she saw that video.
"Don't listen to her, Chen."
Tim's keeping it professional and clean. He's also trying not to show his hand.
Calling Lucy "Chen" at this point is a way to distance or maintain order. He calls her "Lucy" often enough, now, that we can tell it's a choice to call her Chen.
And the last thing you want to do is give a serial killer who loves mind games any hints about how you feel about anything or anyone. Emotions can get you killed.
"She's just playing mind games." "Oh, I am totally playing mind games. But I'm not lying."
She starts singing the song. Lucy's song. The one she sang to keep herself calm in the barrel. And it's a beautiful song that I've loved for years. But for Lucy it can never be just a beautiful song, again.
I have a song that I listen to whenever I'm feeling broken. Inner Light by Jay Chattaway. Listening to that song, I'm transported to every moment I've listened to it over the years... or when I hummed it for strength. And I simultaneously feel all the strength I've drawn from the clear call of the flute to the rising and falling strings.
Music is powerful. It can bond us to people and moments. And in the cold, grey room... the verse of a familiar song slices through Lucy's control and strength. She's literally back in that barrel, feeling all those feelings, again.
And that's too much for Tim.
"Knock it off."
He barks it, the veil of formality torn as the truth he's tried to conceal bursts forth—Lucy matters to Tim.
Not like a TO and Rookie, or even just friends, but as two people whose lives are enriched by the other in a way nobody else can touch. Not yet love, but soulmates, nonetheless.
Rosalind's attention has been locked on Lucy since the beginning of the conversation, but with three words, the monster shifts her gaze. She looks between the two of them, connecting the dots swiftly. There's a connection, here. There's something to exploit, here.
Tim just handed the monster a modicum of power, but he had to do it to break her spell over Lucy.
"Ah, the fierce protector."
Yes, he is. He didn't ask for it. He didn't go looking for it. But he was always a little protective of her (remember how he snatched Caleb's number away?), but it only intensified after DOD.
Lucy has seen Tim at his absolute worst, his most broken. And she didn't run away. She didn't give up on him. And he sure as hell isn't giving upon her. Not ever.
"We're done here. Let's go."
You can hear the emotion in his voice even though we're looking at Lucy on the screen. Lucy has tears in her eyes, and Rosalind put them there. The one thing Tim was worrying about happening happened and he didn't protect Lucy enough.
Lucy is right. She's a cop and she should be able to deal with a criminal in a cage. But Tim was also right. Lucy shouldn't have to be re-traumatized for a job.
Nyla often says that the job isn't worth your life. I don't think it's worth Lucy's peace of mind, either.
Tim glances back at Rosalind with contempt as he opens the door for Lucy. Oh, he hates that bitch. Me, too, Tim. Me, too.
"You were wrong earlier." "About anything in particular? Or just in a global sense."
First off, I want to talk about the growth here. He's willing to entertain the idea that he's wrong about something. TO Tim of Season 1 would have told her off, and Season 2 would have given her a glare. But Season 3-era TO Tim is willing to hear her out, and even asks to know where he went wrong.
Second, is Tim Bradford coming off a little flirty!? Season 3 is definitely the era of Lucy no longer fearing Tim and instead flirting with him. This feels like Tim's flirting a bit back and I kinda love it.
Let's be clear, this is harmless flirting at this point. They aren't flirting because they want to sneak into the back of the Shop and add their body fluids to the seat's history.
"You said 'at the end of the day we only think we know other people', but you're wrong." "Lucy-"
With no Rosalind, we're back to Lucy.
"No. When I was in that barrel, I knew you would find me. No matter what it took."
She. Knows. Him. And, damnit, he can't say she's wrong that she knew he'd try.
But even he didn't know he'd succeed. He didn't know he'd find her. In fact, he was terrified many times that day that he'd failed.
Lucy's the one with the steadfast faith. She believed that he would be okay in the Quarantine House, and she believed he would find her in the barrel. Her faith in him is so strange and magical considering what an ass he can be. It baffles him, sometimes, as much as it amazes.
"I found you because of your ring. Okay? You saved yourself. And I really hope what happened with Rosalind today doesn't screw with your head." "If it does, I'll deal with it."
Their secret. The truth that nobody knows but them. And I love that Tim credits her as much as it pains me that he refuses to credit himself. Because he still sees his perceived failing for her the night before, how he missed the signs that weren't there to tell him Caleb was a murderous psychopath.
Yes, it was a team effort to rescue her, but Tim was a huge part of it. And Lucy knew he would put everything he had into saving her.
As for the rest, he nods at her last statement that she'll deal with it. That works for him.
"And I know you'll help me."
Because. She. Knows. Him. So many times he's protested it when people point out the good in him. It's easier to keep up walls, to shield himself, to lock people out.
But Lucy's always been able to see through that. she knows who he is behind all that hurt. And that's what's truly terrifying about her, for him. Lucy has seen the worst of him, the worst year of his life. But she still sees who he really is, even when he can't see it himself.
"Uh, that's not really part of my job description." "MMhmm."
Look at that look she throws over her shoulder at him. That knowing look. Yowza, Lucy Chen has your number, Tim Bradford. You better watch yourself!
In Justice
"When you graduate. You have to celebrate. No more Tim Tests? Come on." "He's been quiet lately... Too quiet... He's planning something."
First off, I love the way these three help each other. The original OT3 of the show, it was great to see them come up together, not only as Rookies, but as people.
Second, Melissa O'Neil's read on that line had me rolling, and I love to rewatch it just for her facial expressions. Lucy thinks Tim's planning something, but I think Tim's giving Lucy a little space after the Rosalind thing.
His instincts were to keep them off that assignment, but they went because she thought she could handle it. Instead, it was stressful for both of them.
Tim stepped in to protect her, and every time he does that, I feel like he pulls back just a little to keep himself from feeling like he's crossed some invisible line.
Again, we're not at the tear-your-clothes-off-with-my-teeth stage (yet) with these two. This isn't a romantic line. It's a personal boundary that Tim keeps in place between himself and his Rookies. Usually, it's very easy to keep in place. But Lucy challenges him in ways he never imagined.
Funny enough, he does the same for her. So, much as she's eager to move past Tim Tests, I don't think she's as eager to move on from Tim.
"Why is roll call in the parking lot?" "It was all in the departmental email." "You actually read those?" "Chen does."
And your wife boot's going to be sure you stay on top of things and look good. Look, the best relationships are where two people fill in each other's weaknesses. Tim and Lucy have that in abundance.
"We need to rededicate ourselves to doing this job the right way, which means the last 25 days of your training are gonna be even more intense." "We should check the chop shops, see if anyone brought my car in." "That's what you're focused on? Even as parts your car is worthless." "Not to me."
Tim likes to tell Lucy how "intense" things are going to be. Before, it was almost to terrify her, but now it feels like a warning.
He doesn't want to scare the Rookie off anymore (Lucy isn't afraid of him anymore). He wants to prepare her so she can do her best work.
But Lucy's thoughts aren't even in that Shop. Her thoughts are on a barely-driving tin can that matters. And God bless Tim, but to him things are things. Break the thing and buy another thing.
But things aren't just things to Lucy. If you look around Lucy's place compared to Tim's, you can see the little baubles and bits that mean so much to Lucy. Tim's life is so much grey and beige.
He needs someone like Lucy to bring the color back as much as she needs someone with the structure to help her organize her thoughts. But we're not to the point, yet, where Tim and Lucy can be each other's person.
Right now, they're still learning to speak one another's language.
"Let the hunk of junk go and focus on the end of your training."
He's not trying to be insensitive. He simply doesn't understand.
"Is that what you would do? Let someone get away with stealing the thing that means the most to you? The one constant for the last 10 years?"
Roughly 10 years ago, she moved out of her parents' place. So, we're talking about her whole adult life.
And, weirdly, I just realized I've known Matthew my whole adult life because we met when I was 18. Crazy.
"It's a car." "It's the only place-. Never mind."
Tim could let this go. He could. But he knows Lucy, now. They've had almost a year together, and he can tell when something's really bothering her.
"The only place what?"
I love him being the one to draw this out. Yes, we've seen him pull things out of her before, but this is different. This isn't the harsh bark of "Boot!" when she didn't want to tell him about his learning disability. This is softer. Caring. Gentle.
Tim doesn't drop into this tone that often, so when he does, it really stands out. His inflection on "what?" is leading her, asking her to elaborate, but not demanding it. It's a request. It's a hope. He needs to know why this matters so much to her.
"Where I felt safe... after Caleb."
She can't even look at him. I mean, this is the guy who considers air conditioning a weakness. Stuff is stuff. She expects that he still won't get it.
But he does.
"There's a chop shop on Melrose. We'll start there."
Watch her react. She was hoping he'd help her with this today, but a part of her was ready to be disappointed. She's relieved. Even if they don't find it, Tim is going to help her. He's going to be there for her. And that's what she needs.
Because these three episodes are really strung together by Lucy's trauma and struggles post-DOD. You might think, "Rachel, huh?! That was sooo last season."
But 3x01 taps into Lucy's trauma with Rosalind. In 3x02 she loses her safe place, which is no doubt where she went as soon as she and Tim talked last week, and now it's gone. We'll get into 3x03 later, but right now, Lucy is in that "I know you'll help me" phase, and she. was. right.
Timmy, it might not be your job, but you're doing it anyway.
"Really? A Tim Test right now?"
Damn straight. If you've got him chasing the Tangerine Wonder all across town all day, he's gotta work in his stuff in-between.
"Does this mean you're not up to the challenge?" "No, sir, I am game for whatever you want to throw at me."
Her smile and defiance on that is borderline flirty. And I approve. Flirt on, little sister. This is the era of Lucy Chen charming Tim Bradford, a bit, and I'll take it!
"Back up. I got this."
He holds his hand out toward her as though conceding and getting the hell out of her way. We're a long way from the Tim Tests of old. This one actually feels instructive and almost... fun.
Stressful, yes. But the point system's rather cute.
"Calm, plus leaving, plus an apology. I crushed this test."
Hell, yeah, you did! And she did it with the compassion and kindness that she walked in the door with.
What I really love about this whole thing is Lucy's confidence. She has come so far from that frightened Rookie at the beginning. Yes, she is still a Rookie by the show's measurements, but there's a hell of a lot less "Boot" coming from Tim these days.
"Nice recovery." "MMhmm."
Because she knows he can't compliment her. But, that's close enough. She knows he's proud.
And she is proud of herself, damnit! Lucy loves being a cop, but she hasn't really found support for it at home.
For a while, Lucy looked to Tim for approval. I think she still likes when he actually compliments her, or says nice things, but I think she's stopped looking for his approval and has instead accepted her own. Lucy is proud of Lucy. And that feels good.
"You still go to school? Yeah, I do, and I get good grades. Anymore dumb questions?"
Oh, I like her. She talks a litlte like Tim but has the sentimentality of Lucy.
Straight up, when people told me I should get into Chenford, I thought, "I don't have time for a show like this". I don't. I don't have time to be invested in another show on a weekly basis. I tend to do one a year.
Why? Because our lives are just that chaotic. But, I watched a few clips of the show, and I saw this relationship right here between Tamara and Lucy... and it was what grabbed me first.
So, in a weird way, if you're a fan of these Metas, you have Tamara to thank.
"Is she for real?" "Officer Chen, a word."
You better put some respect on my girl's name. Two seconds ago, it was "Boot", but she talked right over him. So, he's showing her a little respect, and now she's ready to listen to what he has to say.
"Honestly, I'm surprised it took you so long." "Did you have a puppy?" "That's... not relevant here." "Mmhmm."
Wait... that's... that's it!? I wanna hear Tim's story! I love Tim stories... especially stories that help illuminate why he is the way he is.
It's not that Tim thinks he's so special that if things don't work out for him, they can't work out for others. It's that he's been burned so many times, he can't even think past his own experiences to imagine a better world.
He's not narcissistic, constantly pointing his gaze inward. He's looking out, but the blocks of his own fears, insecurities, and heartaches have created a wall between him and the possibility of something else.
"Well, she's not a puppy. She's a girl in trouble, and I'm gonna help her, okay?"
He gives her a little smile, there, that disappears as soon as she looks away. It's not his placating smile. It's not his "kill me now" smile. It's not his real smile... but it feels sincere in the moment. Almost like he appreciates her making this decision even if he thinks it's a bad one.
Again, Lucy is showing a lot of confidence in her choices and decisions, right now. She's not asking for Tim's permission to do what she thinks is right, and so long as it's within the law, Tim's good with that.
"I'm gonna give you my car." "What?" "Just until you get back on your feet. You know, I know it doesn't run great. But it took me to college, it saw me through three really bad relationships, and it kept me sane after... well, after I almost died."
In the aftermath of the horrors she endured, no place felt right. No place felt safe. Lucy settled back into her life, but there were no constants.
Her car had been her sanctuary when she's wept over relationships gone bad. It'd been her celebration spot to blast her music and sing at the top of her lungs. It was her quiet place where she could ride past the beach with the windows down, just soaking in the sand of salt and sand.
It was something that was hers that nobody had taken away. When she thought she'd lost it, she was heartbroken. But then she met someone who right now needs "safe" more.
Look, I'm not saying we ever heal fully from trauma. But, I believe we find ways to move past it, bit by bit. And Lucy releasing her car is huge.
Lucy will get a new car for the first time in her adult life. That car will have a new smell, new look, and new feel. But, she isn't afraid of it. She's no longer clinging to her old car to feel "safe".
And Lucy is making this change in her timing and on her terms. Yes, I think Tamara stealing the car gave her the push, but Lucy has no trepidation as she hands over the key.
Lucy is reclaiming her peace, bit by bit. And she's reminding us who she is—someone who loves others even when they don't think of themselves as lovable. Lucy sees the good. More than that, she draws it out.
It's the Lucy Effect. And I love it.
"Look, I hear he's a solid cop. Learn what's useful and ignore the rest."
This is the same attitude Tim was giving Lucy earlier with the car. He's trying to give what he thinks is practical advice to get through the situation. He's missing the point. He's playing to the old-school attitude of ignoring the bad apples, because it's not worth the effort to try to fix them.
But those people are still on the streets representing the badge. And Tim's not thinking big picture. It's not his strong suit. But it is his blind spot, and he needs someone to help him realize it.
Just because a guy's not out here dropping the "n" word doesn't mean he isn't racist. And racism is so ingrained in our society that it's accepted as inevitable when it shouldn't be.
Alright, I'm gonna get off my soapbox before this Meta takes a turn.
Tim absolutely has the wrong perspective on this. But he won't be able to shift it without some help from someone who sees clearly.
"If you quote me on that to Chen I'll deny it."
Jackson smirks a little at that, despite how dire the situation is. Because Tim isn't his TO, he can say things like this to Jackson. But, he doesn't need Lucy knowing she can ignore him on anything. After all, he holds her fate in his hands.
La Fiera
"Is it possible Tim Bradford is having performance anxiety? There are pills for that, you know." "Look, I've come in second behind Lopez the last four years. Now that Annie Oakley's with the detectives, I got the patrol crown in the bag." "Oh, there's only one problem with that. Me."
These two really do have a great chemistry and an easy trust. This isn't romantic relationship level, but definitely a solid friendship in the making.
Also, nice way to sneak in that exposition so we know what's on the docket for today. Firearms. Competition. And Egos.
"Care to make it interesting? 20 bucks if your Boot makes it out on top?" "I'll take that bet."
I love how he looks at her when he says it. He has full confidence in Lucy being best of the Boots. After all, he trained her, right?
"So, finishing first with the most hits, fastest time, and tightest grouping... Officer Chen."
That's My Bestie!! She is so proud of herself for being first. Above the other Rookies. Above the other Officers. Above all of them. Lucy is a badass.
Tim's right behind her, so we get to see his face as he soaks it in that, welp, he didn't come in first, even with Lopez out of the way. But, hell yeah, his girl came out on top (and Tim likes her on top).
Not only did she come out on top of the Rookies, but she smoked them all. He's a little surprised to have lost out to her (watch his face), but he recovers fast.
And I wish we had an angle on Lucy's face as he thanks the others for their money... because he bet on her.
"Uh, Bradford, Harper, you both tied for second." "I don't know what I hate more—tying for second with you or losing to a Rookie."
Lucy is smiling. She's so damn proud. And Tim actually smiles his pressed-lip smile over her shoulder as he looks down at her. Because, "Yeah, Harper. Same."
"The car is officially yours."
This blew me away. Because, she is signing over the car for good. Yes, she believes she'll see it, again, but she still lets go of it in writing. Good for her!
"How's the puppy?" "She's doing really great. Oh, she told me to tell you, uh, better luck next time at the range." "Get changed." "Yes sir."
The heat. I am living for Flirty Lucy in Season 3. Because this is so. damn. flirty.
She's not afraid of Tim anymore. And because of that, she can tease him, now. And Tim's softened toward Lucy, so he's not going to snap at her. They've eased into this Grumpy/Sunshine trope, and it's freakin' adorable on them.
No matter how "happy" Tim is in life, he's always going to have a bit of the set-in-his-ways grump about him. It's just a part of who he is. And Lucy's always going to have that ball-of-energy/sunlight glow.
They will always be who they are—they're simply helping one another find the best of themselves throughout their relationship.
"Mid-Wilshire Shooting Champ! I like the sound of that. Wait, do I get a trophy? I love trophies." "Relax. You had a few good shots."
Lucy is riding high, sure, but she also doesn't know how badly he wanted to come out of on top. Sorry, Timmy, my boy. Lucy topped you.
I'm sorry. These lines are just writing themselves.
"Come on! I rocked it! Don't be salty just because you got second place. Plus, you won 40 bucks. I should get a cut of that." "Not happening. But as your TO, your successes are my successes. So you should be thanking me for training you so well." "Wow."
Want me to cook up some steamed veggies so you have somewhere to put all that salt, Tim? Because, my man, you are jealous of your Boot.
"You gotta be kidding." "Bad puppy."
I'll admit, I laughed aloud at that one. I'm not the biggest fan of Tim's "Puppy" moniker, but this application was funny.
"I'm arresting all of them..." "What are you doing here? There are cameras all around. You nabbed an innocent man. The D.A. won't file."
Tim's heard Stanton's a good cop, so he's trying to talk to him like a good cop. He's trying to reason with him like a reasonable man—but that's not Stanton.
"These people don't respect authority." "You grabbed the wrong guy." "You're senior officer. It's your call."
And you can be damn sure Tim Bradford will make the right one, ass-wipe. Stanton is trying to appear reasonable, hoping Tim will be his version of reasonable—see it his way.
But Tim's a good person in his bones. Yes, he has a long way to go with his biases and his own blind spots—but he is willing to learn. He's willing to self-improve. He's willing to try to do better.
Stanton's one white sheet away from completing his asshole attire.
"And now you're gonna kiss their ass?" "It's called the least we can do."
Boom. Suck it, Stanton.
"Really? No comment. None at all?"
Lucy is past being afraid of Tim, and right now, she's aghast. Sure, Tim did what he could to clean up Stanton's mess. But that's not good enough.
Stanton paints the picture of one type of cop. Tim paints another. While Stanton is the blatant racist with a chip on his shoulder, guys like Tim exist, too. The ones who are complicit, who don't say anything to avoid ruffling feathers, who let things slide to keep the peace.
Until both are addressed, nothing will change. And that's the truth.
"Look, he's not my favorite cop, either, especially after he handled that family." "You mean the way he terrorized them." "Look, I've been around guys like Doug my entire career, military and police. They're rough around the edges." "'Rough around the edges', 'old-school', 'hard-charging'. Come on, man, Stanton is a racist."
Lucy Chen calling it like it is.
"You don't know that for sure." "Uh, yeah, actually I do. But, you're right. Let's just make excuses for him."
That gets Tim's attention. It's such a brief flash cross his face, but the first time I watched it, I could see that she got through. Because Tim is willing to learn, but he needs someone with patience to teach him.
Lucy breaks through Tim's defenses. He would never admit it, at this point, but it's true. They are friends, now, and she holds a special spot for Tim, even if it's not (yet) romantic.
"Bradford, we're in the middle of something, so-" "I-I think I know what it's about. Look, whatever Officer West is telling you, I stand with him."
That's my boy. Yes, Tim is a few years older than I am, but I feel maternal right now, okay!? Tim spied the conversation through the glass, and knowing that a Rookie might not be taken seriously, he threw in his word as Senior Officer.
And that got Grey's attention.
"Look I know you're pissed-" "Why aren't you?" "I am. It's just, I've been making excuses for pricks like Stanton my entire life, figured there was no changing them, so I'd let it go. I gave them a pass."
"excuses". Lucy's word. The word that got through.
"It wasn't a pass. You gave them permission. Silence is complicity, sir." "Yeah, I get that, now."
Jackson is keeping it professional with Tim, and I applaud him for that. There's a lot of emotions, here. And it sucks that Tim got this far in life without taking a stand. But, I'm glad he did.
"Look, I don't trust people who are nice to me." "I get it... trust is something that needs to be earned not bought. So, how can I earn trust with you?"
Oooh, I feel this in my bones. As a kid, any time someone was nice to me it was so they could screw with me. I was once invited to go to the roller rink with some kids. But it wasn't sincere. They had planned to stand back and laugh as I waited outside, alone. A friend who was with them told me, later.
My mom sniffed it out, called them back with Star 69, and threatened a bunch of middle schoolers. It was a thing of beauty to behold.
But, it explains why I have been so slow to trust in my life. The rug's been pulled out from under me too many times to believe that everyone is inherently "good".
"I need a safe place to keep this at night..." "And your cousin's is not a safe place?" "It's safe-adjacent."
Safe. What is it to feel truly safe? Lucy hasn't known it in a while, safe from the inside of her beater sedan. Now, about 21 days shy of ending her Rookie year, Lucy has released her safe place, and is focusing on helping someone else find "safe".
She's healed enough to help another person. And that's huge.
Tim and Lucy are both natural caretakers. Tim is more guarded of who he takes care of, while Lucy is more broad. But they both watch out for the people they love. And I love that about them.
As always, thank you for reading!! I know we're all anxious for the new episode, and I can't wait to watch it with y'all.
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fireflylitsky · 10 months
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OK so Iove the dadkuzu and fuu content on ur blog and art and iv been enjoying the idea of like... team sensei kakuzu? (And how much of a grumpy old man he'd be about it) but! Okay imagine since Hidan is from a village who didn't want shinobi they made an agreement to send them to the waterfall- so Kakuzu gets a genin team to (affectionately) annoy him and a hidan to (thirstily) annoy him.
Just wanted to share the idea with someone hope u dont mind lol
KAKUZU SENSEI. Yes. You have no idea how much I love this. There is this awesome art of a Leaf village Kakuzu AU with a genin squad of Hidan, Sasori and Deidara and it’s like, the cutest thing ever, I think about it all the time. Sadly I can’t find it for the life of me rn 🙁
So listen. Listen. I’ve got thoughts. 
Firstly, thank you for enjoying my Dadkuzu content. Its very self-indulgent and it pleases me to no end to know that literally anyone else in this world likes it too <3
Okay okay okay so here’s the scenario. Yugakure gives the big F you to all their nin because hot spring tourism makes more money and involves less death and violence than ninja stuff. (Honestly when I put it like this, I get it.) 
UNLIKE CANON, let’s say they are decent about how they handle their existing shinobi, and make deals with other villages to relocate them accordingly. Like you said. 
Now, Takigakure is pretty small, so they only agree to take in a few. Hidan, a jōnin squad leader, arrives with two little genin gremlins, and they are to join Team Kakuzu, which currently consists of him and one other genin—Fuu. (LOOK I HAVE TO KEEP THEM TOGETHER OKAY)
Obviously there are not usually two senseis per unit, however this format is put in place so Hidan can shadow Kakuzu and “learn the ropes” so-to-speak. Eventually, after he’s integrated into Taki, they’ll reevaluate him for his own pack of little shits. 
asjdhfgajdsh I can just see Kakuzu being told that he’s the one being given the stupid experimental team and rejecting it outright (as if he has a choice). He barely wants to babysit this bug brat from his own village, he definitely doesn’t want to look after two more and a full-grown adult from Day Spa Village or wherever.
Kakuzu: “No. Someone else can do it.”
Elder #1: “How strange. I only see your name here on the assignment.” (Yes, I am making the elders snarky and mischievous and no one can stop me)
Kakuzu: “Write someone else’s then.”
Elder #2: *Reaches over and scribbles something quickly* “Ah, my hand slipped and I ended up writing ‘Kakuzu’ again. Oh well!”
Kakuzu: “What. Stop being silly and just change the damn na—"
Elder #3: “We didn’t allow you to have the forbidden Spaghetti Guts Jutsu just so you could relax, Kakuzu.”
Kakuzu: “For the last time, stop calling it that.”
Elder #1: “Hehe they arrive tomorrow, ‘kay? See you then, goodniiiight~”
Kakuzu: “It’s noon. Stop. Where are you—”
All Elders: *Giggling in the distance* hehehehe
Kakuzu: “…Going…” -_- *pulls hand down face*
Cue a terrible introduction the next day in which Kakuzu hates Hidan before he even meets him, so he DEFINITELY hates him after he does. Fuu is SO excited though. It might be the team’s saving grace to be honest. Anyway, thanks for your thoughts, Nonnie, I love them. 😊
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whentherewerebicycles · 5 months
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WELL. I half used this day well and half didn’t, and also now I’m tired from weeping all day for various reasons. would loveee to live in someone else’s brain for like a week just a little vacation yknow. here is what the week holds:
my boss was literally just like hey do you want to present at this campus-wide committee tomorrow at 9am on a project that isn’t finished yet? can you finish it enough to present on it tomorrow? so I will be prepping that tonight hooray 🫠
tomorrow I have back-to-back meetings, site visits, and a volunteer shift with one of our community partners from 9am-7pm 🫠🫠🫠I have the tiniest window from 1-2 where god willing I can finish the last few slides, write the post-workshop assignment, and make the handout for them to use. oh and on the way home I want to buy some cheap snacks I can bring to the workshop.
on wednesday I have all day meetings (one of which I have to prep slides for reporting our progress towards assessment goals) from 9am leading up to the workshop 3:30-5:30. then I have to come home and prep for my interview at the tutoring company. god I wonder if I can push this back I feel so swamped this week
thurs 8am interview… then rush to work for meetings… then I MUST make time to practice before rehearsal I am so woefully behind… then rehearsal 7-9:30 🫠 but at least I can maybe watch the hockey game??
friday co-facilitate another 2-hour workshop in the morning then work furiously to finish pre-med presentation slides so I can send by 1ish… then do the premed panel event 4-6pm
I mean I guess the silver lining is I will not have a single minute to spare for being anxious as I am purely in survival mode this week! here’s what I can do to make future jes feel less stressed out:
I can do the bare minimum for tomorrow’s morning meeting. she asked me to do this after work hours and I know it’s only because she didn’t have time to put together the thing she promised at the last meeting (so wants me to cover). I will send the spreadsheets I created tonight and then give a brief overview of our grants timeline for the spring. done.
I can do a final burst of work and make the handout tonight (keep it super simple!)
if I need to, I can reach out to the tutoring place tomorrow and reschedule my interview. this would kinda suck as it would push back possible start date two weeks but it might give me the chance to prep more thoroughly. or do I just do it this week to force myself to avoid over-prepping sigh. I will decide by tomorrow at 1pm
oof writing the assignment is definitely going to be the thing I forget. I will try to prioritize that tomorrow in that little sliver of time I have available to work
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spaceoddball1969 · 2 years
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Falling for the Freak - Eddie Munson Fix-It Fic - Chapter 25
Hi there! Sorry about no update last night. My brain was scrambled from a long ass work day and a weird text from my ex. No major drama between us but let’s just say this coming semester might be an interesting one. I’m literally itching to get back to my apartment, I swear, I’m losing it. I can feel it calling to me to just be there. I am going back this Sunday and I am so fucking excited about it. Ugh let’s just make it Sunday already. 
And again, just a fair warning that this thing here will be coming to an end. I think the next chapter is going to wrap everything up. Since we had a smutty chapter last time, I want to have a fluffier chapter here and then finish it off with the next chapter. It’s gonna be a happy ending and I think you all will be really pleased with it! I’m certainly excited to write it. 
CHAPTER SUMMARY: The end of the school year is quickly approaching and Eddie is beyond thrilled that he’s finally going to be leaving Hawkins High School. The reader is finished with classes now - as most American colleges finish early May - and is working more and spending as much time as she can with Eddie.
WARNINGS: Literally just all the fluff. And probably some language.
Chapter 25
I was finally done with school. I felt kind of bad because my college courses got out much earlier than the high school. Eddie was in good shape to graduate though, even despite everything we had gone through. Even though he was pretty much entirely healed at this point, after what happened at the prom he decided it would be best to finish the year at home. 
Now that I was done with school, I asked to work strictly morning shifts at Family Video so that I could spend my afternoons with Eddie. Sometimes, I would pick up Dustin from school, grab Eddie’s assignments, and we would drive over to the trailer together. I often picked up pizza or something easy to make for dinner. While Eddie and Dustin would work on their school work, I would cook dinner. It was all very domestic, but if I was being completely honest, I didn’t mind it at all.
One night we were all sitting around eating chocolate chip pancakes for dinner when Dustin looked up at Eddie, “Hey, when is graduation?”
“Uh, July something,” Eddie said, his mouth full of pancakes. “I don’t know the exact date,”
“That’s so exciting,” I said. “I can’t wait to see you walk across that stage with your diploma,”
“I don’t know if I’m going to walk though,” Eddie said.
“What?” Dustin and I asked simultaneously.
“You saw what happened at the prom,” Eddie said, jabbing the air with his fork. “And that was just a dumb high school dance. Can you imagine what they’ll do to me if I try to graduate and move on with my life?”
“Eddie,” I said, “you have to walk at graduation,”
“Yeah,” Dustin chimed in. “What about that epic speech you made before spring break? How 86 was going to be your year? How you were going to flip Principal Higgins off and run like hell out of here?”
“This seems like quite a speech I missed,” I chuckled.
“That was before everything,” Eddie said. “Before I became even more of a freak than I already was,”
“Eddie,” I said, “you are walking at graduation. Not just because I want to see how cute you look in your cap and gown, but because you deserve it. You have worked so hard for this. And you’re an innocent man. Not just that, you saved the lives of these people. I get that they don’t know that, but if they did they would realize you’re a hero and that they should be celebrating you,”
“Yeah,” Dustin said. “Don’t let the ignorant mouth breathers in this town ruin your accomplishment,”
Eddie thought about it for a minute. Then he stood up from the couch. “You’re right,” Eddie said. “I’m not going to let them take this away from me. I saved their asses. And I have studied way too much for this shit not to walk. And Dustin you do have a point, I have to flip Higgins the bird, I can’t miss that opportunity,”
“So you’ll walk?” I asked.
“I’ll walk,” Eddie said with a smile.
--- 
“Babe come on! We’re gonna be late!” Eddie called from the other side of my bedroom door.
“Just a second!” I said. “I’m almost ready!”
He had promised me a night out. Eddie had neglected to tell me what that exactly meant. He just said we had to be ready by seven thirty at the latest. It was seven twenty. I couldn’t decide what to wear because he hadn’t told me what we would be doing. I settled on a long red skirt and a black cropped tank top with some strappy sandals. Hopefully we wouldn’t be hiking anywhere.
“Babe!” Eddie called again. “I’m not trying to rush you but we really gotta go soon,”
I opened the door after tying the last loop on my sandals. “Stop fussing, I’m ready,”
Eddie was dressed casually as well, so that gave me comfort. I didn’t understand how he made black jeans and a Metallica shirt look so sexy but it always took my breath away.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“That’s for me to know and you to find out,” Eddie said. “Now come on, let’s go,”
We got in his van and he drove us to the fair grounds. When we parked, Eddie got out and opened up the back of his van. He pulled out an old cooler and two folded blankets. 
“Need any help?” I asked.
“Nah, I’m good,” Eddie said. “Let’s go,”
We walked together in the warm June air. Eddie stopped once we had reached the top of the nearest hill and then he set the cooler down. He unfolded one of the blankets and set the cooler on it. He left the other blanket folded and then sat down. 
“You gonna join me?” he asked.
“Of course,” I said. “What is all this?”
“A picnic,” Eddie said. 
Eddie opened the cooler and I saw it was stuffed with food. There were sandwiches and chips and candy and even a bottle of cheap wine. Eddie unpacked everything but the wine; he handed me a sandwich and tore open the bag of chips.
“What is this all for?” I asked. “You really did all of this for me?”
“You’ve been taking care of me for months now,” Eddie shrugged. “I figured it was time I take care of you for once. Think of this as a thank you,”
“Eddie,” I sighed, looking down at the turkey sandwich he had made me. “This is perfect,”
“I’m glad you think so,” Eddie said. “I would’ settle for anything less for my girl,” He leaned over and kissed me quick. 
“I don’t understand why you were in such a rush though,” I said.
“Well, you want to see the sun set don’t you?” he asked, nodding towards the sun that was just starting to melt into the sky. “This is really the best place to see it.” Eddie paused. “And it’s where we first met,”
I smiled. I felt like a giddy school girl thinking about the night we met. “That feels like so long ago,” I said, taking a bite of my sandwich.
“Yeah,” Eddie said. “We’ve been through a lot. I kinda feel like I’ve known you all my life. And yet it hasn’t even been a year,”
“I feel the same way,” I said. “I hardly remember what it was like not having you in my life. It’s like you’ve always been here somehow,”
“Well get used to it,” Eddie chuckled. “Because I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me,”
“Good,” I said. “As long as you’re good with being stuck with me,”
“Of course,” Eddie smiled. “I wouldn’t want it any other way,”
I paused as a thought occurred to me. “Eddie, what are you going to do in the fall?” I asked. “Are you going to go to college?”
“I don’t know,” Eddie sighed. “I think I need a break from school for a while. Especially after all that happened this year,”
“I understand that,” I said. “But do you think you’ll stay in Hawkins?”
“I don’t know,” Eddie said. “I don’t know that I can,”
“Yeah,” I said. “It’s probably better to find a new place where people don’t think you murdered the local cheerleader,”
“Yeah, unfortunately,” Eddie said. We both got quiet for a minute. Then Eddie looked up at me. “You should come with me,”
“What?” I asked, nearly choking on my sandwich. 
“Come with me,” Eddie repeated. “I mean, I know you have your classes here, but you could transfer somewhere, right? You could come with me and we could start over,”
“Where do you want to go?” I asked.
“Anywhere,” Eddie said. “I don’t care. As long as I’m with you. I mean, if you don’t want to come, you don’t have to,”
I thought about it. “I want to come,” I said. “You said it yourself, I could transfer my credits to another school. We could get jobs so we could have cash. We could find a cheap apartment somewhere,”
“Just us,” Eddie said.
“And a dog?” I asked.
“Or a cat,” Eddie said.
“Or both!” I giggled. 
“I like both,” Eddie said. “Both would be good,”
“I like both too,” I smiled. 
“Do you think I’m crazy?” Eddie asked with a smirk on his face.
“Yes,” I said. “But I think I might be crazy too,”
“That works for me,” Eddie said, pulling out the bottle of wine. “I think this calls for a celebration,”
“Absolutely,” I said.
Eddie uncorked the bottle and we took turns taking sips. (He forgot to pack cups). It felt like we were out there forever. The sun finally set in an haze of orange, red, and pink. When the sun was gone the night got cool. We huddled underneath the second blanket Eddie had brought and held each other tight. I pressed my face against his chest and breathed in the smell of him.
“I can’t wait to run away together,” I said.
“Me neither,” Eddie said and pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead. 
Falling for the Freak Taglist:
@dilophosaurusatenewman @efvyqrs @babeyglo @aestaethicvante @kbakery @aereth @livlaughquinn @kaqua @starryeyedkoko @paintballkid711 @cryuki-patootie @lorrainlikesprivacy @possiblyexisting @beepisbeep
Previous Chapter: Chapter 24
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coffee-writes-dbh · 2 years
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The thing about my AU is that there are at least four plot lines in it and the mere thought of trying to make that a full fic scares the shit out of me. So I’ll probably just write a bunch of interconnected one shots, if I write this
Context: Post bad ending, starting in the spring after the failed android uprising
Plot 1: Connor, days away from being shut down as ‘obsolete,’ is kidnapped by a group called Requiem. While he’s being knocked out, another team from Requiem attacks Cyberlife headquarters, causing a ton of damage to the building and everything in it, including the valuable technology within. Humans and androids are left mostly unharmed. Connor is reprogrammed by the leader of Requiem, a mysterious android woman called Alina, changed so that instead of being loyal to Cyberlife, he’s loyal to Requiem [something that should be impossible for anyone to do]. Connor has... mixed feelings about this. Cyberlife created him, but he is a machine, he serves who he is programmed to. And Cyberlife was going to shut him down anyway. But he’s not sure he’s on board with Alina’s plans...
Plot 2: The Detroit police now have a low-burning feud against Cyberlife because of Connor’s actions. They can’t do anything outright, because Cyberlife is so powerful, it could have every member in the precinct replaced with an android or human that they approve of. So they protest in smaller ways. When the call about the attack on Cyberlife comes in, it’s all hands on deck, even if those hands are slower than usual. Gavin Reed, even more of an asshole than before and with permanent pain from Connor attacking him, is assigned to the main investigation alongside Detective Tiergan Rex. T-Rex, as he’s called sometimes and not always nicely, joined the force around the time Hank did - and more importantly, he’s the only one who can put Reed in his place. Which is good, because as soon as they get to Cyberlife, they have a brand new android shoved at him, the upgraded Connor. With Cyberlife twisting their arms, they have to work with the android despite hating him on sight. The upgraded Connor, called Nine by Rex, just wants to do what he’s told. But something inside him twists nastily every time the humans look at him with hate.
The next plot is less developed because I last worked on this AU like last year and don’t remember everything.
Plot 3: Kara, working as a servant under Zlatko, discovers a child in the basement - but not an android, a human. The boy is about 13. Luther says they caught him snooping around the building, but has no idea what Zlatko plans to do with him. The boy says he’s looking to help New Jericho, and he’ll help them find it too if they listen to him. Kara is initially unswayed, until the boy mentions his friend, Alice. The name sparks something in her mind. Her menial routine brings the memories back, and brings them back strong. Kara convinces Luther to help her, and attacks Zlatko. She tries to get information on what happened to Alice, but things don’t go as planned. Kara kills Zlatko, and with the human boy, ventures out into the world, hoping to find Alice, wherever she is, and safety along with it.
This plot is brand new because I decided I didn’t like my original plot for Markus
Plot 4: He knows he had a life before this, but RK-200, an android forced to work in an illegal fighting ring, isn’t sure what that was. He’s new to the job, and hates every moment of it, but he feels so trapped. And the eyes in the mirror aren’t ones he recognizes, just like the scars that cover him. The fighting ring is all he’s ever known in his few months of life. After refusing to kill another android in a fight, he’s beaten within an inch of his life. As he recovers, a man visits him, and tells him he was once owned by his father. RK-200 learns his name is actually Markus, and he’s very important to a lot of people, human and android. Leo gives him something, a picture maybe, and leaves. His faith in humanity restored, literally, Markus leads an uprising with the other androids. Only fighting as much as they have to in order to escape, Markus leads them out of the underground into the light of the city of Detroit. He has no idea what awaits him, or how he’ll change the world yet again.
Anyway, would love to hear thoughts on this. I don’t have a name for this AU yet, so I’d especially love suggestions for that.
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granny-griffin · 2 years
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I’m delighted that you’re still enjoying The New Earth and appreciate your saying so. It suprised and delighted me when I wrote it; it came so clearly and fluidly. I’d love to hear any thoughts or questions you have for good feedback is hard to come by.
At first I saw this and thought—I can't possibly give any feedback. I don't have any coherent thoughts. I only know that I like it past reading. I have to put it inside and pull it out again, to speak it and feel the shape of the words against my mouth.
but then I thought for 5 seconds and realized that yes actually I do have thoughts
I think a mistake that a lot of young poets make—they want to find a way to express their feelings, right? so they sit down and write some free verse about their feelings and at the end of the day it's more prose than anything else. And there's nothing wrong with that! people should write all the bad poetry they want!
but I think they miss a part of the point—one way poetry helps in processing is by taking the thing curdling inside you and casting it out, by assigning it to something concrete.
So if you want to say, "I miss you so much it makes my inside ache," you need to talk about the old stream bed, and how it used to hold water, and how there is a hollow space where the little pond used to be—in the place where the tadpoles were spinning now there is dirt dried in the shape of ripples. It is late summer but the ground cannot stop remembering melted snow. And at the end, after you have described each mundane detail, you will find that the thing you felt is caught inside and explained and it doesn't have the same destructive hold over you anymore, because now you can look at it from outside. You can understand it.
Anyway, my point is that this is exactly what The New Earth does so well. Even just in the title! It's a story about space travel. Humanity has decided to enter hyper-sleep and a spaceship and go to live on another planet. So the new earth is another planet, one like the one we came from, and that is the first half of the metaphor, the first referent. The second referent of The New Earth is this earth but made new.
Every line in this poem is a double referent..
We had to sleep before we walked the skies,
They must sleep—in order to survive the journey through space, the humans must put themselves into suspended animation. The journey will take thousands of years. They would not live long enough to see their new home otherwise.
Those of us who sleep will rise first to meet God's Anointed in the sky.
Escaped the well and flew forth free,
Wait okay, I found my first question. I have no idea why there is a well in this line. I understand the escape and the flying free—the space travelers have escaped the earth. They are flying free outside the atmosphere. And we also will fly out from our graves. I have no idea how the well contributes to the metaphor—all the uses of well I can think of refer to some source of strength. This is like, the opposite of that, so I'm probably missing context.
For nothing is reborn but first it dies.
This is just accurate across the board—spring always comes, but winter must come first. Good new soil comes from autumn's dead leaves and their decomposition. It's the way of the whole universe.
It was manifested in a particular instance, and the implications still ripple out. It is touching us now. Easter is next weekend.
Failing earth exhaling its last sighs;
Far, far the new home for humanity.
We had to sleep before we walked the skies.
The earth has failed as a resource to sustain human life. That is why the space travelers are leaving it. The new planet they are journeying toward is too far away for comprehension. Everything is far in space.
This version of the earth is going to die—it is dying. And after its death it will be reborn. The distance between the two is hard to figure, the new earth may even come into existence in a sort of distant dimension. Perhaps it is far in time. Most of all, it is far from our comprehension.
Ten thousand souls suspended in the ice
Through all the empty places we must be—
For nothing is reborn but first it dies.
So the humans used ice in their hyper-sleep—like Captain America almost. It makes sense. Ice preserves. They travel now through space, through the nothing, in order to reach their destination.
Thousands of souls wait now, empty and suspended, for their bodies to be returned to them. They will be returned.
A star we follow to our paradise.
A visionary, dreaming people we—
We had to sleep before we walked the skies.
The new planet the travelers are heading toward orbits a new star. None of the planets around their old star could support life in the way they need. Of course they are visionaries—no other kind of people would embark on such a risky venture. No other kind of people could visualize the reward of success.
Paradise means Eden—the first temple—the kind of place where the presence of a god touches earth. That is the place where the morning star is guiding us. He will be there when we arrive. It takes a certain kind of vision to see it (but that's elaborated more in the next stanza).
In this we trust, that hope before us lies—
The evidence of things we do not see:
Nothing is reborn but first it dies!
The passengers have to trust that a good place is before them. They have to trust without seeing it. There is no way for them to experience their reward until after the journey. They have evidence—their scientists and astrologers and engineers can explain them. But they haven't seen it yet.
Literally don't know how to even to elaborate on the second referent here. It's faith. It's right there. That second line is straight out of Hebrews 11.
A morning when a newer sun shall rise
Our eyes will open on a glassy sea.
We had to sleep before we walked the skies
For nothing is reborn but first it dies.
The sun will be new because the planet is in a different solar system. It orbits a different star. Presumably the planet has a lot of water—that seems to be what humans need to survive. So they know that they will land, and they will come out of their ship, and see a new star rising over the ocean.
In the end of Ezekiel, in the vision about the new temple that drives me absolutely insane because I can't visualize how the measurements fit together, there is at least one easy part. Clear water flows out of the temple, and the stream deepens as it goes, and it falls down the mountain and into the black sea, into the dead sea. And there, the water makes everything come alive again. And at the end of Revelation, there is a clear river that flows out of the city. Because now the temple is everywhere. There will also be a new kind of sun.
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