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mytalemyworld · 5 years

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Yesterday I wrote that I would make a post about Zalim İstanbul, so here we go.

Everything is under the post, go below.

This is Agah Karaçay. (played by Fikret Kuşkan)

He is rich, ruthless, has a heart of stone. Only for his nephew (his late elder brother's son), he shows his soft side. Because he still feels guilty about his brother's death (his brother was murdered and he thinks the target was him not his brother) and his brother entruested his son to him in his last breath. But after an accident (we still don't know what it is) his nephew became disabled.

Nedim Karaçay, his nephew. (played by Berker Güven- you may know the actor, he is the same guy who played Aleksi in Vatanım Sensin)

He had a stroke but most likely it is curable, because sometimes he seems to understand what's going on around him and laughs, claps his hands etc, if it was impossible for him to get better, the story wouldn't be written like this anyway, (you'll understand soon what I mean).

Agah’s wife, Şeniz Karaçay (played by Mine Tugay)

Agah doesn't know but his wife bullies his nephew a lot. She hates him with all her heart. Probably she was somehow involved with the death of Agah's brother. But this is not the only reason she doesn't want him in her home. Because with %99.9 probabilty, her own son a.k.a the other male lead, Nedim's cousin, caused Nedim to end up being disabled.

Agah’s son, Nedim’s cousin, Cenk Karaçay (played by Ozan Dolunay), has lots of father issues, a different version of Sinan Egemen

So she tries to protect his son's secret, she knows if someone finds out about this, his son’s future will be ruined and his father will never forgive him.

Now you know why Nedim will probably recover. It has to be cousin wars, it has to be one girl - two men conflict- someone has to give up on his love because of a strong feeling of guilt etc. Honestly, his mother must be punished for her crimes but as for Cenk, I don't think he did something deliberately. But still, he is still suffering.

Anyway now let's come to the point where the main conflict happens.

Despite being as rich as croesus, Agah Karaçay can't find someone who is reliable, compassionate, smart and skillful to be as Nedim's nurse/caretaker. Especially after his health became worse, he can't help but think what's going to happen to his nephew if he dies. So he thinks throughly and finally takes a decision, which is finding (buying) a bride for his nephew! I mean, the guy may not be the brightest fellow in the show but he geniuely cares about Nedim. Also he thinks this kind of girl can only be found in his hometown, because he can only trust his fellow townsmen. (I don't know if the other countries care about being a fellow townsman but in Turkey this matters a lot in any kind of human relationship.)

One of his employees finds a family in his hometown, a poor family actually, a widow has three children (two daughters, one boy) with her mother-in-law. According to the deal one girl is going to get married with Nedim and in return Mr Agah is going to pay money to the family. But, the ones who know the deal are only the younger daughter and her grandmother. The grandma wants to get rich, the little daughter wants that too, but little does she know that the groom-to-be is not Cenk, it is Nedim. So that’s why she is so eager to accept that offer. The other family members think they are going to the mansion only to work.

Mama Seher Yılmaz (played by Deniz Uğur) and her little ugly ducklings leaving their home.

(Mr. Agah is trying to understand which girl was chosen to be his daughter-in-law. *lol*)

From left to right, Ceren Yılmaz, the younger daughter (played by Bahar Şahin) and Cemre Yılmaz, the elder daughter who is a nurse (played by Sera Kutlubey)

However when the mama finds out the real reason they came to that house, she gets mad and goes to confront Agah. He has no idea why she is so angry because he thinks everyone in the family know what he wants from them. As if this isn't enough, the little daughter steps forward and says to him she is ready to be his daughter-in-law. *lol*

In the end, mama gathers her children and they leave the mansion. Agah doesn't stop them since she humiliated him by throwing the money he gave to her mother-in-law.

But Nedim has already warmed up to Cemre (the elder daughter) and after they left, making a big effort, he utters a few words to his uncle: "nur...se".

Uncle Agah becomes so happy to see his nephew being interested in something finally, so backs down from his words and does everything to bring the family back to the mansion.

But he uses his own ways to make this happen, like threatening, like blackmailing etc. He falsely accuses her son, has him arrested because of some issues that happened on their first day at the mansion. In short, their mama has no chocie but to accept his help. But under one condition...

...which is that there will be no deal. He says he still wants one of her daughters but not as a bride, as a nurse for his nephew. So the family starts working at mansion to pay off their debt.

Little does mama know, he has never changed his mind, he is ready to do anything to make the elder daughter his nephew's wife.

Two episodes have been aired until now. So if you start watching it, you can join me in cheering for Nedim and Cemre couple. *lol*

I just hope Sırma won’t ruin this story too.

#zalim istanbul #cruel istanbul #turkish series #my summary #thoughts

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jack-andthestalk · 6 years

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Our Son.

Chapter 2: Our Scottish boy.

After chatting with the rest of the Fraser household for a while, Jamie and Willie said they would show me to the cottage where Willie and myself would be staying, I was familiar with the cottages, there are four cottages in Lallybroch just on the hill at the entrance into the estate. Jamie now lives in one and the other three I believed were rented as holiday lets. The walk up to them was all too familiar, I could remember every step from the four years previous as Jamie and I stole away from the main house for time alone, knowing this to be my last night of holidays. I could see him ahead of me, pulling me uphill, a knowing look in his eye, licking his bottom lip in anticipation of what it would lick next.

Now the image in front of me was Jamie hanging Willie over his shoulder, tickling him as he held conversation with me. His wide muscular shoulders, bouncing Willie effortlessly between them. They were quite the sight, Willie squealing in ecstasy. I half wondered did he have the same fun with me?

“Mam thought it might suit ye better to be up beside my cottage, so Willie can sleep between the two of us?”, quickly adding “if ye like ye can stay in the main house either?”.

“No this is great, perfect in fact. Willie will be so excited to have us in the same proximity.”

I could have kicked myself for saying it, Jamie and I rarely discussed our situation and the fact that Willie never got to see us together. Willie knew enough at a young age to know our situation wasn’t necessarily the norm. He had spoken animatedly,about me coming to Scotland to visit his Da, to his crèche carers, showing the significance in his young life. I didn’t want Jamie to feel anymore guilty than what I already did, Willie was very much loved and well cared for and that had to be enough. Jamie was an excellent father and given that he didn’t have Willie full time, they had an almost extreme bond. Hero worship on both sides.

Just as we were mounting the hill, we spotted Jenny coming from the cottages, purposefully striding towards us, “Ach there ye are Claire, I just left ye up some spare blankets and I brought a few of Willies things up from the main house, so he has a few things to play with”.

Jenny stretched her hand out to Willie, “c’mon a bhalaich, il bring you and yer mam up to yer cottage.”

“We’re fine Janet!” Jamie took me by surprise with the tone in his voice. Seemingly he took Jenny by surprise too when she responded, “what’s up with ye Jamie? I’m only going to...”, Jamie sighed,“I ken Jenny, it’s just Willie might like if me and his mam settled him in, Aye?”

“Oh right weel ye only had to say brother, ye needna been so snippy”. Jamie was purposefully holding Willie back from running off, “I wasna being snippy Janet.. I am merely....”

Jenny was marching on ignoring his protests."Oh Aye that is exactly how ye were brother, see ye at dinner Claire.” Jenny breezed past us, head in the air, Jamie would hear about this later, Willie had jumped out of Jamie’s arms and was following her. Jamie made to stop him.” I wanna see what granny is baking Da”.

Jamie rolling his eyes, "nay Willie ye will bide here with me and yer mam" I could see Willie dancing on each foot eager to get going, Willie had the Fraser stubborn streak and I could see this was mounting to a stand off.

"Let him go Jamie, il only be leaving my things in the cottage and I can go fetch him then". Jamie looked at me considering and eventually relented “Alright, but yer to come up with yer mama later Willie no messing, alright”.

“Right Da!” With that he was bounding behind Jenny.

Jamie opened the cottage, took my bags and brought them to one of the two bedrooms. He started pointing out toilet, kitchen etc. Before I knew what I was saying the words ‘I know Jamie, I was here before’ . Spilled out of my stupid mouth. I regretted it immediately, especially seeing Jamie’s face turn pink and his hand started rubbing the back of his neck. A trait Willie always did when he was nervous or embarrassed.

“Aye, that’s right”

Oh god.

“Oh no ... I mean don’t be sorry..I just mean..I have been here before no need for a tour or whatever ...”

Christ what was I telling him not to be sorry for? Shagging me senseless in almost every space in this small cottage or forgetting I had ever been in it.

A smile formed on my lips, Jamie recognising my embarrassment, a smile forming on his own

“I did know Claire, I dinna want to presume ye would remember.” Christ what were we talking about now, the cottage? or the sex?

Please stop talking Jamie.

"so dinner in the main house later, aye?" I nodded and exhaled once he closed the door behind him. This was going to be a long holiday if my brain wouldn't engage with my mouth.

I was a tightly wound ball of stress by the time I made my way down to the main house, ,my hair freshly washed was falling down my back, curling madly, Willie just before I left the house 'saying yer hair is lovely and fizzy mama" didn't help my confidence. after spending too long deciding what to wear, which ended up with me wearing my usual skinny jeans and t shirt, I rushed my shower and ended up stubbing my toe on the wall getting out. It was sore, but for some reason tears started forming in my eyes and once they started I couldn't stop. I wasn’t too sure if it was completely to do with the stubbed toe. I eventually pulled myself together , when I heard Willie say “ it’s alright mama, I get you tissue, now there mama s’ok.” Willie was non stop chatter on the way down to the house, clearly thinking distraction was the cure to what ailed me.

Jenny's fiancé Ian, greeted me at the back kitchen door, hugging me tightly and commenting on my 'bonniness'. It was only after I saw Ian and his parents, I realised that dinner was going to be a more elaborate affair than just the immediate Frasers. Christ was Laoghaire going to be here?

Before I had time to form a sweat, Willie was pulling my hand '"c'mon mama, ye can talk to uncle tian amoro", Willie was ready to socialise. I hoped he behaved during dinner.

Willie was busily dragging me by the hand into the kitchen, when he spotted Jamie. "Look Da, I bwought Mama!" Willie was bubbling over with excitement at showing me off. Jamie was smiling proudly at him, "ye did a leannan, where ever did ye find her?”

“In da cottage silly, sorwee we took a long time, mama was crying"

Jesus Willie really?

Jamie looked alarmed, "Claire, are ye ok, what's wrong?"

"Oh god no Im fine....I mean, its so silly..I..I stubbed my toe", I babbled out.

Jamie shook his head, "Claire, I ken ye well enough to know, ye dinna cry over stubbed toes, tell me mo chride?"

The term of endearment was too much and my eyes started filling with tears again. Fuck sake get a grip Beauchamp. "Christ look at ye, yer almost crying now? what's wrong?

"Jamie, please its fine, now please can I go and see Jenny, I need wine". I went to swan past him and he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. "Claire ye would tell me, wouldn't ya ? ...if there was something wrong?", I couldn't look him in the eye, there was something wrong but I couldn't put words on it myself how could I tell him? I blinked back the tears "yes" I said simply, taking in his blue eyes, turning darker with concern. He released me but I stood there for a minute, glad of his protection from the rest of the house, so that I might compose myself. Jamie seemed to know what I was about because he took my hand and said, "ready?" before leading me to the dining room with Willie and handing me a large glass of wine.

Dinner was a rambunctious affair, with Jenny's soon to be in-laws joining us, I needn't have been worried, they were just as lovely as Ian, welcoming me like family. I had regaled them with a few stories of Jenny and Ian visiting me in Boston, the stories involved Uncle Lamb taking Willie so Jen and Ian could show me a good night on the town and us all falling home inebriated. Jamie traced the table cloth with his hands, laughing when appropriate, he looked occasionally from me to Jenny or Ian but didn't comment much. When Ian's dad asked if he had any wild nights out in Boston, he simply said no his visits were fleeting. I thought I seen sadness cross his face, he deliberately turned and looked at me. A pang of guilt hit me, had I ever made him feel welcome to stay?

There was no sign of Laoghaire. I kept wondering if she came for dinner, and did the Frasers like her? Love her even? Stop it Claire.

I knew about this girlfriend for months, why was it only now being back in Lallybroch I was affected by her. Now I couldn't pretend she wasn't real?

Once I had pushed all thoughts of Jamie's new girlfriend out of my head, the dinner was a thoroughly enjoyable experience, Mrs Crook; the Fraser's housekeeper, had taken Willie out to the kitchen after dinner to help prepare and serve the desserts, he adorably reappeared carrying one plate '"for Da and Mama to shware", Jamie scooted over to me to eat it and we feigned incredible enjoyment and loud praise to Willie's delight. Willie promptly sat up between us and feel asleep, eventually gifting me his feet and Jamie his head as he slept.

Being the only child there and utterly adorable anyway, the adults began

heaping compliments on him while he slept peacefully. "God he is a beautiful boy", Ian's dad exclaimed. Jamie and I looking on proudly. Not to be outdone, Brian chided in with " Aye he is the bonniest in Scotland, Gerry that is for sure". I scoffed "I see his Scottish accent has come on in leaps and bounds Brian, he told me today 'I dinna need any of that paint on my face, I look bonnie without it', I tried my best at a Scottish accent to illustrate Willie's newly deepened accent "Aye well he is right there Claire, ye dinna need anything, he is a smart Scottish boy that lad".

Jenny smiling at me knowingly retorted with "och Da, Willie is American no Scottish, sure he was born in Boston!" Brian not one to be bested when it came to his Grandson's heritage and without flinching said “weel he was conceived in Scotland and that’s enough for me Janet!”

Oh god Brian Fraser!!

Vivid images of Willie’s conception flooded my mind, Jamie pinning me to a dresser, hands up my skirt and me dancing to his tune, his lips on my neck and my hands in his curls pulling to me, whispers of want falling from our lips. Red was creeping up my face, I was afraid my tell-tale glass face would show I was thinking of the re-enactment, but before I could process anymore the growl that came from Jamie knocked me from my own hazy flashback.

“Da!! Enough, yer grandson and his mother are at yer table, Aye?” Jamie gave his father a formidable look and pushed himself from the table, clutching Willie to his chest. "C'mon Claire, Il see ye home", I started to stutter out "but Jamie, Im not ready..." Jamie looked at me, eyes blazing. I managed to squeak out,"mmm right, well it was lovely to meet you all, Ellen, Brian thanks for a lovely evening..", "Sassenach! C'mon!"

Ellen and Brian gave each other a knowing look, and I realised Brian instead of being remorseful after Jamie's scolding, seemed rather pleased with himself, nearly as if whatever reaction he tried to provoke in Jamie was just what he got

#Jamie Fraser #claire beauchamp #jamie x claire #outlander fanfic #the lallybroch library #clairehasthefeels jamiehastherage

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panasop · 5 years

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My OC’s: A First Post

So this is something that i’ve been debating for a while but after some encouragement from @veari i decided to finally just put my OC’s and their respective stories out there. These two characters are Araleon and Lilanae.

The Two of Them

- Have been married since the conclusion of the Argus campaign, but had been together since before the Siege of Suramar City.

- When the illidari arrived in Stormwind, Araleon was the Alliance Delegation (King Alduin expected a heavy backlash from both the Night Elves and the Draenei of Stormwind, and wanted someone who had ‘experience’ with these sorts of delicate situations [specifically thinking of the DK quest where you come to SW and get pelted by tomatoes XD])

- after the original meeting the two of them spent a great deal of time working together in the field, going on missions, etc. one thing led to another and boom.

- their first ‘date’ was at Stormwind Park, Araleon was a bit of a flowery romantic and Lilanae was somewhat awkward (given that she’s been bumming it on a space ship for a 1000 years it wasn’t gonna be smooth lol)

-They currently live together in Araleon’s home off the shores of Stone Cairn Lake in Elwyn Forest, of course that is when they get the time to actually be home.

- Despite the prestige the both of them carry, their wedding was very quiet: Araleon didn’t want anyone from the Ebon Blade showing up and the illidari all thought Lilanae was foolish for “tying herself down” -Matron Malevolence’s words, not mine.

-Throughout the War campaign of BFA they have been very active agents of the Alliance, but they have barely had any time to themselves. (who’da thought a war would do that lol)

I have other small stuff but it’d bog the post down, so i’ll get on to the two of them individually.

Araleon

-Previous Deathlord of the Ebon Blade, a role he despised for the ‘less than consensual’ nature of that whole ordeal.

-Was killed during one of the Lich King’s numerous campaigns into what is now the plaguelands.

-in life he was a simple sell-sword, or rather a bodyguard. His sword could be anyone’s for the right price but he held to a strict moral code.

- Under the control of the Lich King Araleon did many terrible things (forced to murder innocents, raise other undead, y’know the usual) and as a result he suffered years of insomnia due to nightmares (I know DK’s don’t sleep, shut).

-Over time these nightmares have lessened but he still gets them occasionally, of course now whenever it happens Lilanae will usually just hold him until he goes back to sleep.

-One of his favorite places in the world is Pandaria, specifically the Jade Forest. (The tranquility of it helps him stay grounded and calms his mind when he’s struggling with something.)

-He’s a bit of a tinkerer, a nod to a pastime when he was still alive.

-Absolute sweetheart, loves encouraging younger adventurers to live their lives while they still has them.

-reviles anything which upsets the cycle of nature, but recognizes the usefulness of Undeath in certain circumstances.

-LOVES dragons! he cannot stay away from those scaly babies (The DK mount quest made me sad, and i imagine he tried his absolute damnedest to not kill any of the red dragons.) He has alot of respect for Alexstraza and the rest of the Red Dragonflight, despite the somewhat strained relationship he was forced to have (Thanks blizzard again, god damnit.).

- A bit of a hopeless romantic, if he’s not working on official alliance business he’s spending literally as much time with Lilanae as possible!

-At times he can come off as a bit stoic or even unmoved by certain things, but in times of great stress he prefers to simply listen and here what people are trying to say, because sometimes what they say is not what they mean, and react accordingly. This has given him quiet a bit of influence in the ‘higher ups’ of the alliance, so to speak.

-Occasionally he’ll stop by the Stormwind Orphanage and spend time with the children, something he does in part because of the guilt he still feels regarding what he did under the Lich King, as well as simply giving the children something to do. (He’s a Frost DK, and i like to imagine sometimes he’ll whip a snow storm just to let the kids play for a time!)

Lilanae

- Not a very old Night Elf, all things considered, she was born not too soon before the third war, but lived to see her home in Ashenvale torn apart by demons, her mother and father included.

-for a thousand years in the twisting nether she dedicated every waking moment to slaughtering the legion, becoming one of the strongest illidari and eventually after Illidan’s capture, was promoted to their leader.

-Was never a fan of leading others, largely because she felt as though they slowed her down, but eventually she acclimated to her role and became the leader the illidari needed.

-fun fact, her demon is a shivarra, a very difficult demon to control and one that earned her the respect of Matron Malevolence. (To dominate a shivarra is a near impossibility, so Mama Mav wasn’t gonna fuck with that!).

-strangely enough, after a certain period of time the shivarra inside her stopped fighting, and has what can only be described as a bizarre symbiotic relationship. (Lilanae’s strength is more than enough to sustain the demon, so rather than tempt her to mutate, the shivarra actually guides her when she goes through a metamorphosis, whether this is for self preservation or a twisted form of respect, is unknown, even to Lilanae.)

-When the illidari first came to Stormwind, Lilanae was quite hesitant of the Alliances hospitality (she can be a bit paranoid at times, but then again fighting an immortal army of demons can do that). However, after she met with Araleon she began opening up to the Alliance experience.

-she spent the first night alone on Azeroth in Elywn Forest, simply admirring the way the grass and nature felt.

- Lilanae is very outward going, but she doesn’t tend to say many words. Not so much stoic, but she views ‘talking for the sake of talking’ to be somewhat pointless, and chooses her words carefully to express exactly what she’s thinking. This leads her to speak in very curt, and often blunt, sentences.

-LOVES the WATER! one of her favorite things about living with Araleon by Stone Cairn Lake is that she can swim whenever she wants. In fact when she was little her mother would make jokes about her being ‘like the druids of the fin’!

-used to be uncomfortable with intimate contact, but ever since she’s been with Araleon she’s learned to be more comfortable with herself and who she spends time with.

-another fun fact, her skin used to be quiet cracked and scarred, but due to her direct exposure to the ritual of the night warrior during the events of Darkshore, her skin is now much smoother, if only a slight shade of grey darker. she’s actually quite happy with the transformation (although she’s still kinda mad that elune didn’t give her eyes back, c’mon elune, LET THE GIRL SEE!)

-Admittedly she’s not as much of a ‘traditional’ romantic compared to Araleon, however she does tend to ‘play-flirt’ with him whenever she deems it appropriate to do so.

HOLY SHIT is that alot of my mind. It is so surreal seeing all of these ideas about my characters, my fucking SHIP OF ALL TIME here, just sitting on screen. If you stuck through this absolute slog of a post, thank you so very much, i appreciate you taking the time out of your day to see the circus i call a mind, you’re great!! And if you just skimmed it, that’s fair as well.

#Panasop #OC #mine #Araleon #Lilanae #humanxelf #WoW #World of Warcraft #personal #holy shit dude #i've been writing for like 2 hourse #i need a name #thanks for coming out lmao

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showmeaheroarchive · 5 years

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TW: depression, self harm, suicidal thoughts, etc.

thor has a tough time of things after the snap

he sleeps.

it’s all he can bring himself to do. he can’t bear to see the others, to read the accusations in their eyes. this is his fault. entirely his fault. he’d had thanos. he could have stopped him, he could have, but he had failed. he had been thinking only of his revenge, and now the universe was deprived of half its life. so many of their friends… gone.

he wishes he was gone, too.

it’s unfair that he should have been spared. there is nothing left for him. his home is destroyed, devoured by primordial fire. his family — dead. all of them. and his friends, too. he is the king of nothing. he’s not sure that he even deserves to wear that title.

look at you. the mighty thor, loki hisses in his ear. with all your strength. what good does it do you now?

loki is gone, and yet he remains. he never leaves. thor doesn’t want him to go. loki tells him things he already knows: he is a failure. everything that’s happened is his fault, his death included. you were supposed to protect me, he says quietly one night. thor does not have to look at him to know that he has taken the form of his younger self, the shy little boy who’d kept to his books and his magic. i was your baby brother. you were supposed to keep me safe. why didn’t you?

“i tried,” he replies, and tears spring to his eyes. “loki, i tried.”

yes, says loki, and he’s older now. colder. thor looks at him and regrets it; there is naught but mockery in his brother’s gaze. you would have protected me by slaughtering the jötnar. you promised me that, didn’t you? when we were children? imagine what i felt when i learned the truth.

“i would not have hurt you. you know that.”

did i? he wants to reach out to loki, wants to embrace him. but loki is only in his mind. these are merely the thoughts that have tormented thor for years. what did i know, save that i was nothing compared to you in our father’s eyes? what did i know, thor? i knew that i was the monster you would have slain without remorse, the monster that you were exiled for trying to exterminate.

“you were my brother.”

it was a lie. the word is venom on his tongue. thor flinches. you deluded yourself into believing that we were equals. we never were. yet… i loved you more dearly than anyone and you took my love for granted.

“that is the true lie, brother.” but is it? is it? he’d been selfish and arrogant, and oblivious to others. he’d thought he’d treated loki kindly, but had he been wrong? he doesn’t know. all he knows is that he’d been helpless to save him from his madness. he knows that loki had felt as though he had nothing to live for, that he’d let go. he knows that it’s his fault, all of it. he couldn’t help him. he couldn’t —

“you deserve this guilt, brother.”

loki says nothing more. thor weeps.

“who are you talking to?” asks bruce, appearing in the doorway with a cup of tea.

“loki.”

“thor…” his voice is impossibly gentle, the way one speaks to a child who’s had a bad dream. “loki isn’t here. is he?”

thor points vaguely to bruce’s left. loki is standing there, his lips curled into a smirk. “he never leaves.”

he feels the bed dip as bruce sits down at the end. “you’re spending too much time alone. we’re worried about you.” bruce leans over to place the cup on the nightstand. “drink that. it’ll make you feel better.” thor burrows deeper into his blankets. “thor, you haven’t come out in a week. you can’t stay in here forever.”

“your concern is appreciated, yet unnecessary.”

you should listen to him, says loki softly. you know this is unhealthy, brother. you know that i’m only in your head. you could get rid of me, if you so chose.

“i don’t want you to go,” thor whispers.

“then i’ll stay,” says bruce. thor doesn’t tell him that he was speaking to loki. he doesn’t want to worry his friend. and, perhaps, it is a comfort to him when bruce lays down by his side and pulls him close.

he feels as though he has aged a thousand years in the course of a single season. asgardians can live for millenia. time means little to them. a decade can pass and it will seem so brief, so fleeting.

in the span of six years upon midgard, he has lost his mother, his father, his brother, his home, his hammer, his people, his friends…

he has closed his eyes for but a second, and reopened them to find his entire world changed.

“mother told me it was my job to look after him. he was so much smaller, so much more fragile than i. he tired easily. i suppose now it makes sense, why he was so prone to overheating in the summer days.”

“thor…” bruce shakes his head. “i know what you’re doing. you’re wrong. what happened to loki, everything he did… none of it is your fault.”

“he was my brother. i was supposed to protect him.”

thor… his name comes from two places: from his right, where bruce is perched on the edge of the bed; and from the doorway, where loki stands with his back to thor. it is to loki that thor looks, and bruce follows his gaze with undisguised concern. “is somebody there?” he asks softly.

you know he’s right, says loki. his shoulders are trembling. why will you not let me go? why do you torment yourself?

bruce moves to put himself between thor and the vision of his brother. “there’s nobody there, thor. it’s just you and me, alright? god, you’ve… you’ve got to get out of this room.”

thor curls up onto his side and says nothing. bruce sighs.

he cries out in his sleep. he always has, for as long as thor can remember. his brother has always been haunted in the night by monsters he cannot often recall in the waking hours. thor knows what mama has told him. he is meant to look after loki. it is thor’s job to keep him safe. and so it is thor who shakes his brother awake and curls up at his side, clutching his trembling body to his chest. loki is always so cold.

“it was just a dream,” he says, and loki burrows closer. “nothing is going to hurt you, brother. not while i’m here.”

“i know,” murmurs loki, but thor can hear the trepidation in his voice. he is lying. loki is usually lying, but it hurts to hear it, all the same.

“do you?”

“i dreamt of the frost giants,” his brother whispers. “they were here, in asgard, and they wanted to steal me away.”

the frost giants would not dare attack asgard, thor thinks. not after the defeat they’d suffered at their father’s hands. he does not say this. dreams follow no logic, and trying to ease his brother’s fears with logic will do no good. “one day,” he promises urgently, “i will hunt those monsters down and destroy them. i would not let them harm you, loki. never. i promise.”

loki says nothing, for such a long time that thor begins to think he’s fallen asleep. but when he moves to rise, little arms scramble to pull him back. “don’t let go.”

so he doesn’t.

the first time bruce sees him cry, a month has passed since the snap that tore their world apart. he’s left the bed, at least. that comes as a comfort to the scientist, who was beginning to fear that his friend would waste away beneath the sheets. he’s not sure if thor has eaten lately. he doesn’t know how long an asgardian can go without food, and the only one left to ask will likely not tell him the truth.

he’s in the shower when bruce finds him. how long he’s been there, he doesn’t know. the water has gone frigid, and thor sits beneath it, reclined against the shower wall. he’s shaking, bruce thinks at first, from the cold. but, no… he’s sobbing, knees drawn to his chest, face buried against them.

once, it might have embarrassed bruce to find him like this. he might have blushed and ducked out of the room, might have pretended that he hadn’t seen his friend naked. but there is nothing sexual about this, nothing arousing. this is painful. he doesn’t know what to do. he’s been watching thor unravel for a month and here is the proof of it. when thor lifts his head, he sees a shallow cut across his forearm. it was bleeding before, but has stopped. any trace of the blood has disappeared down the drain. he doesn’t ask if thor made the cut. he already knows the answer, but he doesn’t want to hear it said aloud.

“come on,” he murmurs, shutting off the water. “let’s get you dressed and back to bed.” he’s wanted thor out of that bed for so long, but he’s likely to make himself ill if he doesn’t get warm. at least, that would be the case if he were human. thor listens more readily than he’d expected.

“he told me to,” he says quietly, when he’s once again curled up beneath the blankets. bruce doesn’t ask who told him, or what he was told to do. he knows. he remembers the cut. he remembers thor’s small voice telling him that loki never leaves.

“why would he do that?” whatever he’d once thought of loki, he’d come to reevaluate his feelings, at the end. nobody loved thor more dearly than his brother. he doesn’t think loki would want to see thor like this any more than he does.

“i deserve it. i was his brother, and their king, and now they’re gone. but i’m not.” his voice quivers. “i should be.”

“he wouldn’t have blamed you, thor,” says bruce, and there are tears brimming in his eyes, too. “none of them would. they loved you.”

you know it to be true, brother, says loki. the only one who lays the blame at your feet is you.

yes, he knows it to be true, because loki is in his head and loki could not be saying these things if thor did not believe them.

let me go, his brother urges gently. we will meet again, brother, in the halls of valhalla. ‘neither shall we mourn, but rejoice, for those who have died the glorious death.’

“i am alone,” says thor brokenly. “if i let you go, i have nothing.”

he wakes screaming, and cannot remember what he’s dreamed. but then bruce is there, holding him and stroking his hair with such gentleness that the horror of the moment passes.

“is there — any news of my people?” he has not asked before because he is afraid to know the answer. he is still afraid, but he knows he cannot hide away forever, shielding himself from the truth he already knows. if there had been good news, he would know already. bruce would not have kept him in the dark.

“no. thor, i’m sorry… if they made it here, they haven’t tried to send you a message. so far.” it’s admirable on bruce’s part, trying to give him hope where there can be none. it has been a month. if they were here, they would have sent him word by now. he must accept that he is all that is left of his home.

just thor, and his brother’s specter.

he comes to breakfast the next morning, for the first time since the snap. it’s a relief to the others, who have tried in vain to coax him from his room, to comfort him for his losses. bruce alone has managed to get through to him at all.

even so, thor does not speak. he sits sullenly at the table with a cup of coffee before him, absentmindedly stirring the hot liquid even after the sugar has finished dissolving. loki is standing behind steve, watching him. thor fixes his eyes on the table.

“we’ve missed you,” says steve. “now, more than ever, we need to stick together.”

“you missed me,” thor repeats. had the words come from his brother, he would have immediately called his bluff. from steve, who never lies, he doesn’t know what to think. he knows only that it can’t be true. this is his fault. why would they miss him?

“of course.” steve frowns. “thor, whatever you’re thinking, stop thinking it. none of this is on you. we all made mistakes, we all—”

thor is shaking. when he lifts his mug to his lips, he drops it. the coffee cascades across the table, the clay shatters, and all he can think about is the blood of his people spreading beneath his feet, the sickening crack of loki’s neck, the vacant look in his green eyes.

before anyone can react, he is gone.

bruce follows him and finds him seated on the edge of his bed, head in his hands. “we’re all struggling with this,” he says softly. “i know you think you’re alone, but you’re not.”

“i could have killed him. i should have aimed for the head.”

“you can’t blame yourself,” argues bruce. “there are a lot of things we should have done. all of us. not just you.”

“i can blame myself because i am to blame,” says thor, and when he looks up at bruce, his expression is terrible. “i should have aimed for the head. i would have, but i wanted to see the light leave his eyes. i wanted him to suffer as i have suffered, as he made my people suffer, and my brother. i wanted revenge, and the universe has paid the price of my selfishness.”

“you couldn’t have known…” he puts out a hand to rest on thor’s shoulder, but the asgardian jerks away.

“i know that revenge accomplishes nothing. i knew that, and i didn’t care. i just wanted to hurt him.” his eyes flicker to the doorway. bruce wonders, is loki here again?

“i know.”

“this is my fault.”

“it’s not. it’s really not. did loki tell you that?” thor hesitates. bruce takes it as confirmation. “he’s not here, thor. and if he were, he would tell you to stop blaming yourself, and start finding a way to fix this. because we can fix this, together. don’t you believe that?”

he does. but it does little to ease his distress. “and if we do, what then? repairing what’s been done cannot save asgard. it cannot save loki. i am still alone and i am terrified, bruce, i—”

he is suddenly in bruce’s arms, face buried against his shoulder, and bruce is kissing his hair and what little restraint he has tried to show shatters. “you have me,” whispers bruce, and the tears come hot and fast. he’s clutching to the scientist as though letting go might kill him. maybe it will. he feels that if he loses just one more thing, he will break irreparably. “you have me,” says bruce again. “you have all of us, but — god, thor, i thought you were dead and i… i just kept thinking that i should have told you before, i should have…”

“told me what?”

a kiss is his answer, and he finds that words are unnecessary. he’s known all along, he thinks, and told himself it was impossible. because bruce is good, so good, and after everything, thor doesn’t feel as though he deserves it. but he can’t doubt this, can’t bring himself to disbelieve bruce’s affection when the man’s lips are crushed against his, and his hands are in his hair. “you’re not alone,” bruce murmurs. “you have me, thor, you have me.”

and thor believes.

a phantom stands in the doorway, a smile tugging at its lips.

“goodbye, brother,” it says, and fades into mist.

#( drabbles ; thor )#( a sky full of stars & i was staring at you ; thor & bruce )#( i'm here ; thor & loki )

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drukkie-kookie · 7 years

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Alla Prima (Pt.1)

Pairing : Jimin x Seulgi

Genre : drama, angst, eventual smut, college au!

Word count : 3,485

Description : When an antisocial realist-painter, Park Jimin decided to change his subject from scenery to a breathing things, he didn't expect one particular homo-sapiens Kang Seulgi whom he has been avoiding since that day, whom painfully stunning, and probably wouldn't even take a single glance on him in million years, voluntereed herself as the tribute for his new project. And by means, even if it's included a package of her without a single clothes on.

P.S.: So first of all,I’m such a btsvelvet trash and this is just work of fiction.

"This is not too shabby. "

Namjoon pondered as his brows twitched slightly, analyzing the piece of art in front of him. Jimin's face was flat like it usually be, but a relieved sigh blooming inside him. thanks God.

"At this rate, you might just open your own exhibition man. Why bother entering my own? "

The cease in his eyebrows deepened. But really, he couldn't understand this prodigy's mind sometimes. But Jimin only shrugged.

"I'm not ready yet. "

"Not ready, or you don't want to? "

Namjoon questioned more. It was like a rheotical question, which he knew that Jimin himself don't know the answer, yet.

The 24"x32" canvas in front of them bursted with major dark colours. As the Aurora prominetly sparkling under his touch, never being drowned with all the grey area surrounding it. Really, it's only this certain Park Jimin who can create masterpiece like this, effortlessly.

"I entrusted it to you then. Set it on a high price."

He put all his palette and brushes back to his rugged backpack. Smudges of colours can be seen here and there, but he never worries to change it to the new one. This backpack is his lucky charm. He bid goodbye to Namjoon quitely and headed to the café, didn't miss the faint reply from Namjoon at the distance.

"No worries man!"

Jimin hated the campus cafe.

No, he hates it.

The smells of coffee never ceased to exist, always suffocates his breathing the moment he stepped in. Not that he hated coffee, it’s just, he never used to its smell and taste since he was little. Because only vegetable and fruit juices filled his everyday meal at home. Noises of people chattering, gossiping useless thing, the people making their own groups, alienating others, Jimin hated it all. He came from the rural area in Busan, gotten a full scholarship for his art study was out of the plan. But he knew it was destined, and he was thrilled to finally go and taste the little piece of heaven in the capital city, Seoul. He remembered how everyone knows everyone back in his village. He missed Taehyung and Jin, whom every Sunday always rotating, helping each other's father to soil the farm and afterwads slashing the watermelon to sate their thirst after working hard. And he remembered after school, he always dropped by to Taehyung's house just to play with Sooshim and helping his grandma mixing the kimchi. Life was good back then. Peaceful, and full of fond memories. Not like here. Where people are too individualistic, busy with their own mind and business. What a shame he ended up become one. And the fact he found out the ugly truth about Seoul from day-1 didn’t seem to help at all. It tasted more like a mixture of hell and grey paint more than a heaven. He guessed that little piece of heaven really tiny then, the reality didn’t betray the phrase.

But at least they got a nice warm croissant bun here. Which never missed to be his breakfast.

He picked up his tray, with his other arms propped the hanging backpack. Jimin skimmed the area, and he was glad his usual spot wasn’t taken. Right next to the gigantic glass wall, facing the vast football field. But he was startled when his eyes met a pair of cat-like eyes catching his eyes off-guard. But Jimin averted his gaze in an instant and headed to his seat as he calmed down his erratic heart.

He hates the effect she has on him. It’s been a year, but his body always reacted the same. He’s so whipped and he hates it.

But the bubble inside his head popped into pieces when he felt his phone vibrating. A message from mom.

“좋은 아침 내아들, 아침 먹었?”

“Good morning my son, have you eaten breakfast yet?”

Jimin smiled and quickly typed a reply to his mom. He loves how his mom never missed to check up on him everyday. Even if it’s only a brief hello on the phone, or a single text asking how are you. He’s such a mama boy and he’s proud of it.

Another unexpected message came again not long after that.

“This end semester vacation you’ll come home, right?”

At that, Jimin’s stomach churned. He could sense how much she missed him, and the guilt washed over him knowing the previous mid-semester he broke his promise to come home. He told her he had his painting being paid well and he would have enough money to come back, but he ended up buying new art supplies, with better qualities, and pretty expensive, just because he couldn’t hold his thirst to paint a little bit, with his first own money, earned by himself. He remembered how jumbled up his mind, filled with new ideas and colours inside his head, resulting his one of his best masterpiece ‘The Aurora of the Dawn’ or so he called it. Truthfully, he never wanted to sell any of his painting. He cherished them all dearly. It was the result of blood, sweat, and tears of his imagination and skills. With countless practice on paper, perfecting it before pouring it all down to the canvas. Because he can’t be wasteful on canvas, for it was not cheap for him to buy. Therefore, the canvas should be the masterpiece of his masterpiece. It has to.

But at least he already got them all on a photo. Framed and hang them all in his flat. He just hoped that, whoever buy it, will appreciate it as much as he is. And they’ll be happy after looking at it.

“Yes mom I’ll go home. Promise.”

He promised, and Namjoon better sell it in a good price. Because there’s no way he would let down his mother once more. He has to go home, and he will.

He sighed as he finished replying his mom. He started nibbling on his croissant, suddenly lose a little bit of appetite, but he knows he has to eat well or he’ll just making his mom and dad worried. Jimin was about to munch on the second croissant when a line notification came up.

“Hyung you’ll come to the party this weekend?

Football team’s headquarter. 9pm. Hope you can make it.”

It was from Jungkook, the boy from the sport department. Jungkook was the definition of well-known jock in the campus. He’s made it to the primary team despite being a freshman. Many people envy him and mesmerized by him, but only Jimin who knew the real him, for both of them coming from the same city, Jungkook clutched to him like a baby when he first arrived to Seoul. With full scholarship like him and ordinary family background, Jimin couldn’t abandon the little guy. All the familiarity of home oozing from Jungkook didn’t help at all, and they ended up growing close. Jimin helped him searching for a flat, a little bit touring over Seoul, etc etc.

But things changes, people changes. And so does Jungkook.

The epitome of the Golden Boy instantly become Jungkook’s new nickname. As the tagline goes afterwards, study hard, play harder. And boy, Jungkook partied hard. He never missed a weekend without a party. Jimin admit he’s amazed by him on how well Jungkook managed to ace every exams he had, despite the harsh practice of football team and still maintain his social life with partying till dawn. Jimin wasn’t the gifted type like him. He has to work his asses off to be where he’s standing now. Being called a prodigy painter was a bonus. But the gift he had has to be enhanced with practices. And that’s what he does. He’d rather practicing his sketches than wasting his time partying until wee hours. It’s just wasting his energy. He likes conserving his energy.

“No promises.” Jimin curtly replied. No promises equals he’s not going. Not a minute afterwards, another message came.

“Aw c’mon man, it’s his first win. We have to celebrate!!!”

A message from none other than Jung Hoseok, a.k.a his flat-mate. Jimin massage his temple, these to boys must’ve chatted behind him and played those ‘first-win’ card on him. With both of them are party-people, they never forget to invite Jimin to the party. But Jimin always politely refused, after that incident happed.

Speaking of ‘that’ incident, he shuddered when the rush of memories coming back to his mind….

A year ago, 20 April 2012, Freshmen welcoming party.

“Yah don’t just sip it, drink it in one go you pabo!” Hoseok yelled to Jimin as he shoved the tiny shot glass down to Jimin’s mouth. A fit of cough followed Jimin afterwards, the burn sensation really uncomfortable in his throat. He sent down a death glare to Hoseok, which only resulted a sheepish grin as a reply.

“Let’s just enjoy this night to the fullest, okhey?”

Hoseok patted Jimin’s butt as he dragged him to the crowd of sweaty dancing people. All Jimin could do was obeyed the sunshine at heart and holding back his experated sigh to escape. He didn’t want to make him upset.

It was the night of welcoming party for all the freshmen. After four days of torture of student orientation a month ago, the senior prepared this big event as the apology gift for the new students. Jimin heard from Yoongi sunbae that it wasn’t easy to get the permission to use the plenary hall from the campus but somehow they managed, so that’s why the freshmen had to have a great time and all of them had to attend. Jimin was no exception.

At first he wasn’t so sure to join the party. He wasn’t familiar with alcohol, he already hit his coming of age last year but he haven’t touched a drop of alcohol, even a sip of a soju. People was supposed to get three things on their coming of age ceremony, a bonquet of roses, a kiss, and a bottle of alcohol. And he hadn’t had all three of them and Jimin’s not complaining. Hoseok has been bragging it up too much these past days after their roommate-to-roommate slash heart-to-heart talk last week. Jimin just couldn’t understand which part is disappointing of not getting those three. So Hoseok hadn’t forget to bring it up tonight too, ‘I’ll get the kiss, the alcohol, and the roses for you tonight!’ Jimin just chuckled at his antics.

Hoseok dragged him right at the centre of the dance floor. “Loosen up man! Let the night rules us tonight!” Hoseok cheered, Jimin couldn’t help to smile back to the sunshine. He tried to dance, but failed miserably. He looked like an invicible wall next to the master of dance dancing next to him. People started to notice Hoseok, and they gave space for him to move freely. Jimin joined the crowd and enjoyed Hoseok’s performance from the side. Man, he’s born to be a star. He thought.

Jimin decided to take another shot, he need something to do anyway. He gulped down in one shot, grimaced a little bit by the hot yet cold liquid coming down his throat, but he now realized the pleasant feeling afterwards. No wonder people love drinking, it tasted good. But he remembered his dad warning back at home, ‘Please stay away from drugs and alcohol son, I hope you take care of yourself there.’ So Jimin decided to stop at the third shot. He already felt a little bit lightweighing already.

Jimin looked back at the room, seeing all the people were having the time of their life. Some busy talking to each other, making new relations and friends here and there. Some were busy making out that it had him grimaced a little bit. He somehow couldn’t understand with PDA, he’d rather do it all those affection gestures in private, because it felt so privacy to him. Things like that need to be cherished, as it was intimate and very personal gesture for him.

He caught a ponytail in his sight, but he was disappointed to see it wasn’t her. Yes, her, none other than Kang Seulgi. Kang Seulgi was the well-known beauty from the Vocal department. The beauty wasn’t only from her appearance, but also her voice. Her heavenly voice. He never met someone who could make him skipped a beat just by the sound of their laugh. But that was Kang Seulgi did to him.

The whole four days of the freshmen orientation was spent together with Seulgi, as both Jimin and her was set into the same group. All the members were awkward at first, including him and Seulgi. But thanks to this guy called Chanyeol, the ice melted and all the members warming up to each other in an instant. But the senior were merciless. At the second day, each of the group had to choose one member to sing in front of the whole student. Seulgi, being the one and only from the Vocal department, had no other choice.

He remembered how white her nails went, due to her non-stop chlenching it because of her nervousness. He had this strange urge to unclasped her hand and engulfed hers with his. But he dismissed it all and just closely watched her trembled a little as she walked into the podium. He unknowingly prayed she’ll be alright.

When she opened her lips, all those nervousness gone from her eyes. And the world stopped for a moment for Jimin.

Her voice soared through all over the field. All the student fell silent by her voice. Her voice was so beautiful, beyond compare. She followed the rhythm leisurely, as if it was the rhythm who followed her voice. But at the end of the song, she cracked her voice a little bit, making herself went beet red as she apologized and let out a sweet, awkward laugh. And the crowd cheered, hooted hard, and he was sure 95% of the male students had been head over heels over her. Including him.

And since that day, he couldn’t get her out of his mind.

His eyes couldn’t help to search her in the crowd. He should stop. He sighed. He dislike himself when he’s acting all whipped like this. But at the end he couldn’t help basking at the warmth this ‘crush’ served everytime he saw her in campus.

Jimin decided to borrow a pen and drawing random things on the tissue he got from the bartender. This party kinda amazing tho, it has a minibar with professional bartender inside. This is just like a university edition of a bar. He was so immersed that he didn’t realized someone had been sitting next to him for a while, looking at him closely.

“What are you drawing?”

Wait what?

“Jimin…right? We were at the same group!” She excitedly asked him. Jimin was speechless for a while, he didn’t expect this particular Kang Seulgi to be the one who find him. He drank in her sight for a moment, she wore a faded jeans and cropped sweater tonight, mixed with thin burgundy jumper at the outer. She looked good. And comfy. And those cropped sweater revealed her prominent abs, making his gone into shame. She let down her hair tonight, no wonder he couldn’t find her before.

“Ah yeah…” He replied. Scrathing his neck, didn’t know what to do. Does he continue drawing or what? His mind felt blank the moment she showed up. Seulgi smiled at his reply, making all her eyes gone because of that eyesmile.

“So, what are you drawing?” She pondered again, propping her chin on his arm, genuinely interested at the crappy sketch of his dog that died two years ago. He didn’t feel confident with his drawing. He knew he got the scholarship without no reason, but showing someone his sketches instead his final piece really not his cup of tea.

“Ah, it’s nothing…” He tried to fold the tissue paper hastily, but Seulgi frowned and stealthily snatched it from him. Jimin was taken aback by her sudden movement, and the brief moment she grabbed his hand made him palpitating inside. His eyes were as wide as saucer.

“Why are you hiding it? It’s good!” She swiftly complimented his messy sketch. And that moment, he was a goner. Again. For the second time. Shit he must be really like her then. Fuck.

Suddenly someone called her from the crowd, “Ah, I’ll be right back Park Jimin!” And just like that, she’s gone. She brought his sketch along with her. Great.

The night went on. Jimin didn’t move an inch, mostly because he’s too lazy to find another place to sit (and another reason just in case she’s coming back), so Jimin put on his headphone and blasting his recent favourite song, he didn’t really care the way it sounded clashing with the song in the room. He was out of the world for an hour when Hoseok coming back, drunk as ever.

“Come little boy let’s find herRrrrRr~!” He was slurring hard and Jimin knew it was time to go home. Jimin slinged one of Hoseok’s hand around his neck, and basically dragging half of his weight with him. Oh the things he do for Hoseok.

“Where are we going? We haven’t got the roses and the kiss yet!” He whined. Jimin sighed as Hoseok squirmed from his hold. “We’re going back home.” He replied. And with that, suddenly Hoseok stand up straight, as if he was sober. Without further ado, he grabbed Jimin’s arm and locked it in his grasp, then dragged him into the sea of people.

‘What’s with him???’ Jimin incredulously looked at him and puzzled by his sudden antics. “Hobi what are you doing?” They’ve basically circling the huge plenary hall and Hoseok didn’t show a sign to stop.

“We’re not going home before we meet that Seulgi girl. You get her phone number, and a kiss too before we go home would be amazing but don’t get your hopes up.” He firmly stated a ridiculous goals for tonight. Jimin tried to release himself from his grasp, but it was futile due to his iron-grip. Damn Hoseok and his muscles.

“What the hell Hobi-!

“I think that’s her, SEULGI JIMIN WANT TO KISS YOU, oh shit-

Jimin was frozen with the sight in front of him. Seulgi was kissing someone near the back. She was obviously heard what Hoseok’s said clearly and that’s why she suddenly startled and broke the making out session she had. Her lipstick was smeared, her face was red and her pupils were dilated, showing her black eyes prominently like the night sky. Jimin’s gut was churned, and briefly met her eyes, and he instantly turned around his heels and running out from there.

He didn’t expect the night he realized he really liked her would be the same night his heart being broken.

Jimin sighed at the memories. He remembered he was mad at Hoseok for five days (no more no less, because it was impossible to be mad at that man longer than that), giving him the silent treatment. That five days was the longest fight they ever had.

If only feelings could be erased as easy as clicking the backspace at the word documents. He silently thought inside.

Jimin tried to forget her, he really did. He busied himself, and practically focusing on school. It helped a little bit, and the way their department was far from each other was a bonus. But in the end she never missed to be in his vision even just for a day. Whether it was in the library, the hallway, or in the café like this. Reality sucks and not helping at all. He put on his earphone and just wanted to distract himself from that annoying reality for a while.

So Park Jimin didn’t expect it at all when that particular someone bringing her tray filled with quiche and sat next to him.

“Hey.” She said. Jimin was stunned. He was silent for a solid 10 seconds, and Seulgi couldn’t take the heavy silence anymore. She put off one his earphone and said,

“I’ll be your model for your upcoming project. What do you say?”

#Jimin #bts #seulgi #red velvet #seulmin #btsvelvet #bangtan #방탄소년단 #btsfic #fanfiction #bangtan sonyeondan #park jimin #kang seulgi #bts fanfic #red velvet fanfic #AllaPrima

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btsmemes-mochi-blog · 7 years

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My Bts Wings Theories- in honour of the era ending

1) The entire series is a metaphor for aging and growing up, as well as the difficulties and responsibilities that comes with it. However the main theme of this theory is change and freedom. (Kookie and Suga are in a relationship but as Junkook grows up, he changes and Suga can't except that). Evidence to support this: Suga's melt down in "Run" and setting fire to a hotel in a MV. The suggested murder that V committed upon his father is metaphor of: one must "kill his father" in order to become a man. 2) Junkook falls in with the wrong crowd(the rest of the Bts group). The explored concept of 2 realms from the use of quotes from: Damien-Hesse, represents the idea of good and evil. The good side is the known and normal world which Junkook was sheltered in; the bad realm represents the newly introduced evils of the world such as crime and substances which he was kept away from. The covering of eyes in Blood sweat and tears represents the shift between the two realms. (Part 2 of my theory) V kills his father (who was abusive) and the rest of the band helps cover it up. Junkook is left out of this and has to watch toll the sin takes upon each of his friends (J-hope using drugs, Rap mon and V falling into crime, Suga developing depression, Jin going insane ext:) 3) Junkook made up the rest of the members because he was lonely. None of them exist. He imagined a life of excitement but really he was insane (skitsophrinic?). Evidence to support this: in Run there is a scene where Junkook is surrounded by the members however a moment later, they vanish.The covering of eyes in Blood sweat and tears represents the shift between the two realms of real and fantasy as well as things appearing of objects after. 4) Suga died in a car accident/suicide from burning a building down. The rest of the members deal with his death in their own way, unable to accept his death. Junkook is the one who is affected the most as before Suga's death the two had an argument that got very physical (Run)(possibly in a relationship). V goes to jail after being betrayed by Rap mon for a crime they both committed, J-hope becomes a drug addict, Jin pretends nothing happened, Jmin is hospitalised after an self-inflicted accident and Junkook has to watch them all crash. 5) Jmin died. An accident occurs involving him drowning and BTS deals with his death differently. 6) Metaphor for work and freedom. Suga represents stress and pressure (his melt down in run etc), J-hope represents being lost (drugs in his short film represents losing yourself etc), V represents inability to continue (cage in short film), Jin represents all sides of work (pictures of all films in his solo film) Jmin represents improvement (hospital bed represents getting better and drowning represents being overwhelmed). Junkook represents success and having everything but the loneliness that comes with it (is always centre in videos, his short film does not have action, he has nothing he no longer has to do. The painting represents loneliness). 7) Wings is about love and courage. Each member has their own struggles with love and represents the difficulties people face. Jmin represents a suffocating love ( drowning in bath, water in run, danger etc). J-hope represents being addicted to love (drugs and his part in boy in love). V shows being trapped in a relationship which has ran it's course but is unable to leave (cage in short film and dog represents happy memories of what the relationship was like). Jin represents previous relationships and how they effect the future(photos in short film). Suga represents a one-sided love (the burning piano represents passion and his melt downs in MVs show his disconcert. His part in boy in love supports this theory also). Rap mon represents betrayal of love (leaving V to take fall in short film). Junkook represents first love (his story is first, he is always in the middle during videos showing the importance of a first love and the story is centred around him). 8) In fire, Suga is the one that shakes hands with the hooded figure, who is actually the devil. Suga makes a deal with it however he cannot cope with the costs of the deal, he must cause the deaths of his friends. He introduces J-hope to drugs, he gets V sentenced to death, he drowns Jmin, Jin escapes and Suga stages a car accident for Junkook (support of this is the car sounds in Junkook's video and the car in Suga's). Suga commits suicide by burning himself alive because of the guilt. V ver: V is an angel who fell to earth and had to gain retribution for a sin. V joins bts and becomes close, however he is always different (looking at bird in run etc). V begins to accept evil in videos: danger, run, fire and other mvs. Suga makes a deal with the devil and is corrupted by evil (his melt downs in MVs support this). V chooses to sacrifice himself to the evil in order to save Suga from his fate and V becomes a dark angel. 9) The series of songs and short films represents reality and fantasy. The unrealistic events in bts songs represents fantasy and the members becoming emotional within their solo films and songs shows harsh reality. In 'blood sweat and tears' the covering of eyes represents the shift between fantasy/imagination and reality. The quotes in the short films are from ____ which is about a boy struggling with the difference between fantasy and reality which could be the theme of the series. 10) Wings is about Good and Evil and the line in between. V and Jin represent good (V is a angel and Jin is love). The rest of the band represents evil except from Junkook, who represents the boarder between the two (constantly in middle of group, main, in 'Run' when the members disappear it shows Junkook alone because he doesn't fit in). 11) A group of teenage boys (bts) encourage each others bad behaviour just like in the film chat room. All of bts have bad home lives and come together to escape their problems. Junkook takes it on himself to try and fix all of their problems, Suga who has anger issues and paromaniac, Jmin who is suicidal, Namjoon was born in a rough family, J-hope has a oedipus complex, V killed his father and Jin is pulled to the dark side. Suga kills himself by burning down the building in AugustD and Jmin attempts drowns himself but is hospitalised. 12) ( Jin gets involved with a dark group of drug dealers and gets the boys into drugs. Jmin becomes addicted and struggles to stop, he is hospitalised after collapsing where he tries to kill himself. Suga cannot cope with the guilt of "making a deal with the devil" (Jin) I. e. Drug dealer and manipulates all of the boys into taking drugs. Suga eventually dies and is dead in bst japanese version. Junkook tries to shield Jmin from the dark side of things and fails. Junkook has a overdose. V represents a fallen angel, a.k.a someone who was doing well in life and then fell into drugs. He gets high to try and deal with what his life has become and wallows in sorrow. Rapmon represents someone who follows the crowed and becomes a drug addict. 13) Metaphor for drugs: the vivid colours represents the distort of reality, Apple represents drugs and addiction, violent imagery could symbolise symptoms of withdrawal, overdose ect: 14) Jmin has died and Jungkook brings him back to life however has to hide the fact that he died to Jmin. However due to this the universe tries to kill the other boys to restore order. Suga is almost killed in a car crash, Jhope almost dies from an overdose, Jin almost kills V being possessed to restore order etc.When Jmin finds out that he is dead he attempted to restore order by committing suicide. V tries to sacrifice himself by jumping out a window (hence angel imagery), however all of the boys except from Rapmon and Jin end up dead (the final scene of bst japanese version is because Jin moved away after the incident and both the boys get involved with drugs.) 15) Jungkook is in love with Jmin and creates a second version of him to fall in love with him. The real Jmin is locked away (in a mental hospital? ) by Jungkook. The other Jmin takes his place. When V finds out Jungkook forces Jin to kill him or else he'll send him to the same place as Jmin. Rapmon and V had both robbed a shop together and they both find out about the real and fake Jmin. Rapmon runs away, V tries and calls Rapmon for help however he has already fled 16) Wings is a metaphor about Stockholm syndrome/ domestic abuse, having the wings and freedom to escape but not using them due to the attraction to the abuser. Apples represent desire and the imagery of changing reality (covering of eyes) represents the difference between the good parts of the relationship VS the bad. Jmin seeing himself represents seeing freedom, the boy meets evil dance represents being captured and V dropping off the balcony represents escape. 17) Metaphor for hot-cold relationship. A person desperately trying to hold onto a lover who has grown cold and harsh. "Bitter bitter sweet". Bts represent the partner who is putting their "blood sweat and tears" into the relationship. Each of the members represent different parts of the relationship: Jmin represents the vicious cycle of the deceitful relationship (Lie), V represents the emotional pain (Stigma), Jungkook represents the start of the relationship and the parts that they feel alive and happy (Begin), Jin represents the realisation of how unhealthy the relationship is (Awake), Suga represents the feeling of reliance upon the lover (First love), Rapmon represents the person before they were in the relationship and what they are afraid to become (Reflection) and Jhope represents the fear of independence and shows how the person is used to relying on others (MAMA) 18)Wings is about an oedipus complex. In the book that Rapmon often quotes throughout the album, Damien_Hese, the narrator struggles with a oedipus complex. Evidence to support this theory would be: Suga's line in First Love "I feel so nice, mom, I feel so nice" which isn't necessarily sexual, the song is about his love of piano however the line suggests closeness to the mother figure. Jhope's song Mama also shows closeness towards the mother and how he was supported as a child. I know that both of these songs hold extreme emotional importance to the rappers and I am aware of how BTS explained the meaning behind their individual songs. Iam not trying to taint them with a disturbing theory, I am merely grabbing at strings here so I apologise if anyone is offended by this.

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