There’s something so important about Gillion - who never heals himself, who rushes into danger, who hides his wounds- facing death and realizing he isn’t unafraid as he was raised to be. He uses his magic on himself to help with the exhaustion, to keep his life intact. And still he tries to comfort Jay and Chip while he’s coherent, being realistic about his chances but refusing to make it painful. Wanting their possible last moments to be light, to be about seemingly inconsequential things, small favorites that still mean the world to him purely because they’re Chip and Jay’s favorites. And then when all is said and done, he makes a raccoon for Jay. He talks about raspberries for Chip. He uses his last saved up arcane energy to try desperately to stay awake, and it works, and it saves him in the final hour.
It’s just. There’s something about how he hasn’t had a chance to rest since the Feywild, really, truly rest. How this whole time he’s been down on himself and taking extreme risks. And now, at what might be the end of it all, he realizes he doesn’t want to die. He wants to live. And not to be able to save others, not to fulfill his destiny, not out of obligation to anyone else - but purely for himself. For all the little things. And though it’s not quite healing in the literal term, his nearly final act was spent trying to save himself - and it worked.
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man not to read too much into spahr's "there was a reason i picked him" about phineas but. i am always keeping in mind that spahr pulled phineas out of the delta personally. he didn't meet phineas as a prospective adsecla he met him as a scared little kid! maybe it wasn't so much that spahr actually thought phineas was the best choice as that he really wanted to believe he was. maybe without even being aware of it! how could he not want to believe in the rags to riches of it all? something that started with that scared little kid HE was able to help save? a tangible representation--beyond valor--of something good he did? but now of course that whole narrative has crumbled around him! phineas did something horrible (that was all spahr's fault as far as he's concerned) and now phineas is dead! that's it! story over! :)
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so here's my personal theory on how the mal shit is gonna go:
i think mal's been corrupted by shadow, and i think he either doesn't know about it or did it because he felt it was the only way to protect his friends. similar to how he sees money - the more power he has, the more able he is to guarantee that he'll never be in a vulnerable situation (losing those he loves and being unable to do anything) again
either way i think the corruption is more manipulating him than anything. from the way tyril talked this chapter, it sounds like mal has been making a habit of making harsh, risky decisions. we've even kind of seen this when he jumped in front of Valax' glaive. when i saw that i assumed that it was your main LI who does this, but no, it's always mal. i think this is, in part, supposed to show that mal is acting way more reckless than he usually would
the other part is that, obviously, the real reason the shadow didn't hurt him was that he was already shadow corrupted anyway
im not entirely sure what the endgame is yet, but i think that it's the watcher who's responsible for the corruption. i simply don't trust a man who makes his first appearance in Certified Choices Evil Robes, and besides, today's lore tablet pretty much proved that he's taking us in the wrong direction
aerin is going to play a pivotal role in helping mal get rid of the corruption. he's the one person in the world who knows the most about it, and, from his comments about shadow corruption being more complicated than you think, possibly the only one who believes saving mal is possible anyway. also, i mean, he did go through that process
the process to save mal will likely be extremely painful, if aerin's unwillingness to talk about it is any indication
our relationship with aerin will likely influence the outcome, since he will be the key to helping mal. especially since mal has probably been his #1 hater, the main reason aerin would have to care about mal is his attachment to mc. if you don't have a good enough relationship with aerin, maybe the outcome will be different
it will be through this process that we will learn that The Watcher Is Evil, Actually and possibly foil his plans?
it will be so fucking angsty it's unreal and we'll be fed everything we didn't get in the reunion and more, THIS IS HOW MALMANCERS CAN STILL WIN
the haircut is here to stay 😔
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The letter from Voss, and the slate from Orpheus from the epilogue party💜
Notes on the gith words: 'she'lak' means benevolent burden; idealist do-gooder (thanks, babe)
I believe 'Revrykal t'Orpheus' means servant of Orpheus (gay).
And 'Gith'ka tavkim krash'ht' means 'Gith's light guide us'.
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