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jkknight98 · 2 years

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Ok so a house of 3 preds (Dream, Techno, and Quackity) all at different times find/save a borrower (Tommy or Karl), none of them do anything to hurt said borrower and after making sure they're okay always let them go

The borrower keeps getting help from each pred at different times and the borrower is happy that none of the preds want to eat them (yet)

But here's the thing- the other preds I have no idea they've all met the exact same borrower and are friends with them, so now all three are trying to get the borrower (who walked right out into the open to talk with their friends) out of danger from the others

The borrower has no idea what's going on and is just very terrified and just standing on the coffee table awkwardly

-Plant

Ok I got some free time so I can answer this pretty quickly with some rough sketch notes and I’m so sorry it took so long plant.

Dream-

Catches Tommy in the early morning and nearly eats him on the spot for a breakfast snack because he was stealing from the cereal box, but decides against it when he gets called “smiley faced green bitch!”

It makes laugh hard enough to wheeze because he’s never had a barrower act that way towards him so he lets the boy go, saying that he probably will eat him next time if he catches him again.

Cue Tommy and jerry shenanigans until Dream realizes he’s having to much fun with the banter the two have and continues to make excuses not to eat him.

Technoblade

Has Tommy literally fall onto him from a high shelf. The boy was trying to read the same book Techno was when he lost his balance.

Techno really wanted nothing to do with the tiny thing so just dropped him back on the floor to ignore him. But Tommy didn’t leave, saying that “I want to know what happens to the prick in that book!”

This leads to regular book time for the two, and while techno would never say anything about and Tommy would definitely deny it, The piglin hybrid knows the boy cuddles up to him for warmth on especially cold days.

Quackity

Managed to save Tommy from being snatched up by a cat that ended up in the house (sorry patches lovers) and was immensely curious about the tiny thing as he only seen barrowers in pictures.

He thought Tommy was a animal at first to keep as a interest pet, but quickly found out how much like giants the tiny folk are.

He grew to enjoy bantering with Tommy and messing around with him. He had a lot of fun making silly bets with the boy and making up stupid punishments for one another.

He even let the boy walk around in his model city he called Las Nevadas, getting ideas and new perspectives from a almost scaled size person (he did not enjoy Tommy trying to go Godzilla in the fake fountain and stuck him in a jar as punishment).

Confrontation

It was just a normal day when the three giants decided to eat breakfast together that morning, Quackity joking that he missed scrambling with Techno to get the last of the hash browns, making the piglin huff in annoyance and roll his eyes. Dream was just about to make his own joke but paused when he saw a familiar flash of blond hair dart across the table.

Tommy wasn’t expecting to see all the giants together at once, he had been at the house for a few months now and was mildly surprised, but was happy to see them all the same. He never got to play any chasing games with Techno or Quackity like he did Dream, maybe that would make it more fun and challenging. He was only able to get a short hey out before all three giants rushed at him while shoving each other, seems like the game was starting after all.

For the giants it wasn’t a game, all they knew was that their little friend that they kept secret from their housemates was now out in the open and in danger. Dream and Quackity were afraid that Techno would smash Tommy like he jokingly said he did to orphans, and Dream freaked that Quackity would try to pin him like a butterfly. Techno and Quackity both feared that Dream would eat Tommy like other barrowers before.

So imagine everyone’s surprise when techno used his size advantage to beat out the smaller (and normally faster giants ) to pick up the boy, and to everyone’s shock(including his own despite the growing instinct he tried to hide), popped the tiny into his mouth and swallowed. He knew Tommy would be safer inside, but no one else knew that.

#jkknight answers #sorry it took me so long to answer this #soft vore #safe vore #mcyt g/t community #tw vore #mcyt vore

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milqueandsugar · 3 years

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Ok...yknow redza right?

If you don't then basically redza is like an evil version of philza. A bitch who likes to cause nothing but chaos. Him and Phil are opposites, really (yknow like antisepticeye and darkiplier lmao)

So...could you write something about those 2? Like the reader meeting redza for the first time and him being all flirty, while phil, who is already dating them, is getting jealous and protective (the bird instincts go brr)

( here is some more detail I about redza and the other colorzas: https://twitter.com/ignqloof/status/1393293291484028941?s=19 )

🏵 Your Tea Is Ready 🏵

Warnings: Slight NSFW , Mentions of violence/injury

Genre: Angst (?)

| Something Strange |

The clattering of shudders echoed through the small cabin. With a soft groan you roll over to snuggle closer to your husband, only to find that his spot in the bed had gone cold. Chalking it up to him deciding to fix the shudders himself you lay patiently for his return. However minuets soon turned into an hour and anxiety began to creep over you. Philza liked his sleep more then techno did, what could possibly be keeping him from bed?

Wrapping one of the many blankets around your shoulders you slip on your slippers and begin the descent down the stairs. Torch light flickered against the wooden walls, that's strange. You certainly remembered blowing them out before heading to bed. With furrowed brows you poke your head around the corner, your eyes quickly landing on the couch. Under heavy blankets laid your husband, his blonde locks tussled and his stubble a bit longer then you remembered. You took any opportunity you could to tease him about his scruffy beard, how could you have missed it?

Shaking your head you stole the lit torch from the wall and made your way over to the windows. Checking each one until you found the one with the loose shudders. Placing the torch on the wall you swiftly lift the pane. A strong wind howled through the living room, blowing out the torch and chilling you as you tied the down the wooden panel tighter others wall. Hurriedly shutting the window the creaking of floor boards caught your attention. "I'm sorry, did I wake you darling?" You yawn, rubbing your eyes as the adjusted to the sudden darkness. Cold hands took your face into their hands and you snuggled into them, pressing a few kisses to his palm.

"Let's head back to bed, okay? It gets cold without you" you humm against his skin. A warm chuckle fills your sleepy mind as his thumb runs across your cheek. "Of course, poppet" he soothed. A little giggle escapes you at the knick name, "that's a new one" you note lifting your hand to inter lock with one of his.

However your domestic bliss was short lived as the front door was crudely kicked open. Torch light flooded the room, nearly blinding you as the familiar sound of an arrow cutting through air pulled a scream from your lips. Your head snapped towards the front door, where a very angry Philza stood, Techno beside him already reloading a crossbow. But, you were talking to phil, what the hell was going on? Your eyes were blown wide as you slowly turn to the man holding you. He looked just like your husband, the same scars, the same toothy smile, the same eyes you could get lost in for hours. But his usual green robes were a deep crimson.

"Careful pig, wouldn't want to shoot your friends wife would you?" Philza or.. red Philza sneered, his once gentle touch turning violent as he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you to his chest. "Y/N get away from him!" Philza roared his nose wrinkled slightly. Pulling against his hold it didn't take much for you to break away from his grasp, that or he simply released you. "Going so soon Poppet? I was beginning to enjoy your company-" " Dont call my wife that " Philza barked drawing his sword as Techno gestured for you to get behind them. Scrambling to follow his silent instructions as the second.. Red phil drew his own sword.

"Techno what the hell is going on?"

"You are asking the wrong man"

#dsmp x reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt x reader #dsmp imagine #mcyt x you #mcyt imagine #dsmp x you #philza imagine #philza x you #philza x y/n #philza x reader #redza x reader #redza

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haikyuuuuuhypeeeee · 3 years

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29 - Tell us about yer character flaws

The Hot Seat Live - Transcript

Premiere Date: Friday, 23 July, 20XX

Hosts: Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu

Guest(s): L/N Y/N

[00:00]

Intro: Welcome to the Hot Seat with the Miya Twins LIVE! (musical intro, a variety of guitar riffs, techno beats and explosions.)

Atsumu: Hello, hello and welcome to the Hot Seat with the Miya Twins! Ya got the better-looking twin, Atsumu here!

Osamu: And I’m the better twin in general, Osamu. We’re so happy that you’ve joined us today.

Atsumu: Now, I know we teased about this week’s guest having been abducted by aliens and now believes he’s pregnant with a hybrid human-alien offspring but unfortunately he couldn’t be here with us.

(Booing sound effect)

Osamu: It’s not all bad, ya scrub. Because we’re joined by the lovely, incomparable and honestly one of the two people who are keeping this club afloat, L/N Y/N!

(Cheering sound effect)

Y/N: Hi guys! Thanks for having me!

Atsumu: Honestly, I would have rathered the pregnant alien man.

Osamu: Oi, shut up.

Y/N: (laughs) No it’s ok, I know compared to meeting someone who’s story is so far fetched it doesn’t even seem real, I must be pretty boring.

Atsumu: Ya got that right.

Osamu: Anyway Y/N-San, tell us about yourself.

Y/N: Well, this is my first semester at university and it’s been absolutely amazing! This campus is beautiful, the food is edible, which you know is saying a lot for college food!

Osamu: I wholeheartedly agree. (Laughs)

Y/N: (Laughs) For sure! And my classes are going great, but I think the best thing about uni life so far has been joining the Fly High radio club! Everyone has been so nice and I know I’ve made life-lasting friendships.

Atumu: Ugh, gag.

Osamu: Oi, watch yerself. I apologize for my idiot brother - Y/N did you say what you were studying?

Y/N: Oh, no sorry Osamu-san. My major is communication, with a focus in interpersonal communication...

The Hot Seat Live - Transcript Cont.

Y/N:...and I swear to you Osamu-san, I saw the bird take off with the entire ice cream cone! I couldn’t believe it!

Osamu: (Laughs) No kidding. Ya know, that reminds me of the time -

Atsumu: I’m speaking for everyone here when I say no one gives a crap, ‘Samu.

(Laugh track plays)

Y/N: Atsumu, don’t be rude.

Atsumu: Oh well I’m so sorry, but this ain’t yer show. And the audience is getting tired of your boring stories.

Y/N: Um.

Osamu: Atsumu, shut up.

Atsumu: Nah, I wanna ask Y/N a question. Tell us about yer character flaws.

Y/N: My what?

Atsumu: Yer character flaws - ya know, the traits that you honest to god hate about yerself. Here, I’ll go first. I’m too trusting and naive - I think that my friends, the people I care deeply about, wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. But whaddya know, nine times out of ten I end up screwed over! (Loud laughter)

Osamu: That is very specific ‘Tsumu, and I can think of ten other character flaws that fit ya better. Y/N ya don’t have to answer that.

Y/N: (Quiet laughter) Okay then.

Atsumu: Well what about this - do ya have any secrets?

Y/N: (Pause) Secrets?

Atsumu: Yeah! A deep dark secret that keeps you up at night. Something that you would rather die than have anyone find out about!

Y/N: I mean, everyone has secrets...

Osamu: Dude, shut the hell up.

Atsumu: Oh, I sincerely apologize listeners, for that horrid language! Tsk tsk, Osamu!

Y/N: Atsumu, what are you doing?

Atsumu: Well I know a secret. A real juicy secret about Y/N.

Y/N: (Pause) What?

Atsumu: Ya, and I think it’s a secret that our listeners would love to hear.

Y/N: Atsumu -

Osamu: Ya idiot, shut the hell -

Atsumu: Y/N is an alcoholic! (Hysterical laughter) Isn’t that the funniest thing you’ve ever heard?! Little Y/N can’t handle a drop of alcohol without becoming a blubbering, disgusting mess. (More hysterical laughter) Isn’t that so pathetic?!

Osamu: Atsumu!

(A chair is tipped over and clatters to the ground. Footsteps run away quickly and a door is slammed against the wall as it opens. More hysterical laughter.)

Osamu: You idiot! Y/N, wait!

(A door is slammed against the wall again and thundering footsteps echo louder with each step.)

Kuroo: You fucking son of a bitch.

(More chairs are pushed back, papers fall to the ground, people pushing and shoving each other are heard.)

Osamu: Kita, kill the feed! Kill it -

END TRANSCRIPT [08:13]

A/N: ☹️ That was a disaster. I hope you enjoyed the new format for this chapter, but I'd have to say that's probably the only enjoyable aspect of this chapter. 😞

Taglist urls in bold cannot be tagged! :( I don't know why: @thechaosoflonging @shookykookie30 @ivana-an-iguana @itoshibaby @kamalymaly @fantasycantasy @tanakasimpcorner @strawberry-icecream @automaticthingnacho @internethome @putmeinyourdeathnote @kovjiro @everytimeswift @random-fandom-girl-24 @tia827 @psycho-nightrose @airheadpillar @fandomsgotmefucked

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maxbegone · 4 years

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Had a whole conversation with a bunch of people the other night over the fact that my neighbors were blasting 80’s techno/club music and then started playing Careless Whisper. I have no idea why, but I was starting to debate checking on them. Granted everyone was outside at 11:30 in the pool so...It was just weird, man.

I was in the middle of writing when it happened, and both @yourbuttervoicedbeau and @this-is-not-nothing said “Ok but David and Patrick trying to have a chill night in while Ray is blasting that from the next room.”

Now I can’t do this kind of fic justice but boyo let me tell you what I came up with:

—

“I think I’m tasting metal. Is Ray actually fucking playing Careless Whisper?”

Patrick laughs, “Yeah, I think he’s going through something.”

David slams his hands onto the comforter with an exasperated groan. “Clearly! I’m going to have that saxophone solo stuck in my fucking head for three weeks!”

“Aw, do you not like the beautiful soundings of George Michael?”

“I never said that.”

Patrick smirks, “So you do.”

“I never said that either,” David counters, pointing a finger.

“Okay,” Patrick sits up against the headboard and leans in. “What if I played it at our next open mic.”

David makes a face, his eyebrows scrunching together at Patrick’s suggestion. “Are you kidding? You can make any song sound absolutely beautiful but if you even dare with this one I might throw up.”

“But there’s a possibility you won’t.”

“Patrick, no.”

“I can learn how to play the saxophone for it!” He’s smiling now, a shit-eating grin.

“No.”

“What about the accordion.”

David just blacked out. “The what?”

“The accordion,” Patrick repeats innocently, “I’m sure it’ll sound great. Not at all like a sea shanty.”

David presses the heels of his hands into his eyes to will away the growing tension. George Michael’s smooth voice is still flowing through the very thin walls in Ray’s home.

“You know what? I think I’m going to go lay down on the highway.”

Patrick starts laughing, his arms coming around David’s shoulders. “Don’t do that. Who will I sing to?”

“You’re horrible.”

“You love me,” he says, pressing his lips to David’s forehead.

“I do love you,” he agrees, “a whole fucking lot but I do not love this situation right now.” He glances towards the wall and sighs. “Should we go check on him? Maybe bring him to the hospital or something?”

“He’s not dying, David,” Patrick insists.

“And you’re absolutely sure about that?” How does Patrick know that Ray’s dying wish isn’t to pass with a sexy-sounding song playing in the background?

David turns back to Patrick. “How are you not, like, inwardly cringing right now?”

“You get used to this sort of thing when you live with Ray,” Patrick explains and okay, sure why not.

That doesn’t mean David’s ears aren’t bleeding.

The song finally — after what feels like a millennia — dies out and David’s able to hear his thoughts properly again.

“Thank god,” he grumbled into his pillow as he tosses an arm over Patrick’s stomach. “I thought it would never end!”

Patrick chuckles beneath him, the sound rumbling deep in his chest. “You can rest easy now.”

“I plan to.”

Murphy’s a total dick, though.

The song starts up again, louder this time David is sure of it. He growls deep in his throat as he shoves a pillow over his face.

“Maybe I should go check on him,” Patrick says warily. He sits upright on the bed and pulls the pillow away from David’s face, revealing the scowl beneath. “I’m just afraid that I’ll never actually come back to bed if I do.” He clicks his tongue, adding, “I might get roped into a very long conversation.”

“Patrick,” David braces his hands on his forearm. “Please do something because no amount of twenty-four karat eyepatches will make the dark circles under my eyes disappear if you don’t.”

So Patrick sighs, swinging his legs off the side of the bed. A soft sliver of light comes into the room from the lamp down the hall as Patrick heads towards the neighboring bedroom.

“Hey, Ray?”

#sc ficlet #YEAH SO ANYWAY MY NEIGHBORS ARE BATSHIT #david x patrick #david rose #patrick brewer #schitt’s creek #yeah so...yeah #the alternate title is ally needs fuckin sleep

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plasticpokedex · 4 years

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Other toys that aren’t that bad: Mega Man: Fully Charged (Jakks Pacific)

(F you, i liked it...)

Nobody asked for a Mega Man redesign and a cartoon about it.

...Maybe...

But “Fully Charged” would turn out to be Mega Man “1% battery left”, featuring the CG adventures of local robot Aki Light’s secret superhero life as “Mega Man”. Aided by his friends, Suna, Rush and Mega-mini, he saves the city against the rebellious Robot Masters and various other techno-criminals.

Perhaps if this appeared back in the early 90′s, it would be a cult classic. But video game properties have evolved so much through decades of established deep lore...and cutscenes...to the point where taking too much creative liberties any further would only detract loyal fans. And that is what happened, airing only one season and nobody buying the toys.

Mega Man is also a brand that gets thrown around A LOT. A bit too much, really. Bandai, Jazwares, Mattel, Fukno, Kotobukiya, etc have all dipped their hands into the Mega Man money bin to a perpetually endless cycle of shelves blurring in blue bomber bulk.

>time to make Mega Man

>time to make Green Mega Man

>okay okay ONE Robot Ma-OH NO CANCELLED

also:

>Time to make X, time to make Zero, okay time to make BLACK Zero OH NO CANCELLED

oh and:

>Time to make Roll this time! But let’s make TWO of the same Rolls each with different accessories so that people will definitely by both OH NO CANCELLED

It’s like the lemon dance but with toys instead of teachers, and Mega Man ain’t no lemon. Just the guys who make them, apparently. Waiting for “Proto Man” over here...😥

But despite all that, Fully Charged’s cartoon and toys weren’t THAT bad, IMO. The cartoon’s setting took place after an unseen robot war, and Dr. Light was one of its veterans. It even features a new villain (not Wily, who is portrayed as a child and friend to Mega Man), and a mysterious character is unmasked at the last episode. Plus we get these neat action figures of the Robot Masters, more than what we’ve been getting in the past decade. Ball (hinge) joints in the shoulders and legs, and knee joints as well. No elbow joints unfortunately, but I drilled in some revoltech joints in there and now they’re an improvement. The toys are a fixer-upper, some needing parts cut out, or a lot of Pledge Future Shine on the joints for tightening.

Of the many redesigns the show has gone through, I’ve grown to love the lanky Wave Man and bulky Drill Man. Air Man, Ice Man and Guts Man are pretty much, “Fuck, Man”, but they’re still just ok toys with the articulation they were given. I still say Ice Man is the worst, but we were still ROBBED of a near-proper Air Man.

While the standard 6″ robot masters came with an interchangeable Mega Buster for the Man himself (just like the Ruby-Spears ones!) Drill Man and Guts Man are “action feature” toys. Drill Man has rev-triggered drill hands and I love it sooo much, but Guts Man gets an...inflatable belly. His ability in the cartoon, instead of just super strength, is eating garbage and slamming his full stomach to emit powerful shockwaves. Oof.

In the end, I would still recommend these toys for any Mega Man fans/purists. With one-offs like 4inchNel Cutman and two-pack Block Man in cancelled lines, I feel these curb the hunger well for more Robot Master toys. As of writing, they are still readily available on Amazon at MSRP. Drill and Wave Man are first priority gets. There aren’t a lot of “drills for hands” toys out there neither.

Air Man is an acquired taste. I just like how round he is, and has those neat turbines resulting in some “Mega Mickey Mouse logo” thing going on. Guts Man is hefty and I just needs me a Guts Man, especially since he didn’t show up in stores. Ice Man...I don’t have Ice Man anymore. I just didnt like that one because he didn’t channel the Mega Man-esque design as much as the others did, and even Air Man has those BIG angry eyes. You can ignore Ice Man, as with the two toys of Mega Man himself since we already have had better toys of him anyway. Would love to use the busters with those too.

And with all that said, here are some other characters I would’ve wanted:

Fire Man:

Dr. Light, with gun, because he has one and look how fit he is.

Elec Man

and Man Man, who is a clear reference to “Bad Box Art Mega Man”. To think, we were thiiiis close...

Mega-bye...

😭

#mega man #megaman #guts man #ice man #wave man #jakkspacific

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candy-corruption · 4 years

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Hey, yo creator! Any ships in this blog? Also, if there are, what are you calling them since it's candy-themed? (Example: Lavashipping = Lava Cake) And, since I'm now curious, what would you rename all the ships since they could be candy themed?

Hey, great questions, um,

I’m trying to keep this blog kind of neutral on ships so it’ll probably just be the canon stuff, BUT maybe lava as well because I’m TRASH for lava and I still argue that it could TOTALLY be a canon ship lol

However, I will take requests for maybe art or possibly? one shots of ships for this AU, maybe one of those lists like headcanons for if the ship was in the AU. Not including Lloyd ships tho. Platonic ok tho.

Anyways, I wasn’t really thinking about altering ship names, but I DID consider lavacakeshipping and YES Candy!Kai x Candy!Cole would ABSOLUTELY be lava cake. Hmm, let me try to think of more names:

Okay Cole isn’t exactly rock anymore but I can’t seem to pass up the possibility of him and Jay being Poprocks...

For reasons I shall call opposite... sugarcoat

Plasma... candy melt

HMMM Glacier be chocolate crinkle

Techno is tough um... maybe UHH cotton sugar? I know cotton candy is a Lloyd ship H

Then there’s Nya... I wanna call Jaya carbonated. Then um. Braincell is Nya x Zane huh? Call it M E N T O S. Cole and Nya, I’ve seen like one person ever ship that but imma still name it since I kind of actually have nothing against it. Wanna go with chocolate syrup. Kai and Nya get NOTHING cuz they siblings.

There you go.

#ninjago #ninjago candy au #ninjago au #ninjago ships

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tarry-a-lot · 4 years

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French Musical Recommendations?/review (Part 3)

This is a mix between recommendations and shows I don’t like and shows I just know exist but don't know a lot about. Even if I’m not too much a fan of some of the show I would still check these shows out for the fun of it, maybe its not my cup of tea but it is for someone else. Again my French is lacking so if the lyrics aren’t great I wouldn’t really know unless I sat down and read them which I didn’t do.

Robin des Bois (2013):

what to say about this show... I’ll start with the summary: Robin Hood and Marianne break up pre-show and have their own groups going on. Marianne also has a son with robin but robin has no idea about him. Sheriff of Nottingham starts attacking so Marianne asks robin for help. Also the sheriff figures out about robin’s son and so he imprisons the kid and surprise! there a romance between Nottingham’s daughter and Robin Hood’s son.

Yep, haven’t seen the show, really don’t mind the plot sounds interesting enough. I’ve only listened to the soundtrack once and all I got to say is that it’s not great. The cast is lovely and look really sweet and friendly with each other, but all the songs really just sound like basic pop. To be clear without understanding the lyrics and just listening to it with not visuals, I found the soundtrack quite boring, so maybe I’m just missing something. My favourite songs are “Le flèche et la cible,” (the piano makes it sound like an anime opening or something, liked the drums too, and the vocals are nice) and “On est là” (it’s a really weird one, I couldn’t put my finger on it but after playing it for someone I got the decisive answer of it is very 80′s, the instrumentals really threw me off but hey it’s catchy). Also some songs had a bass line that also threw me off, just wasn’t expecting it. like the one in “la Providence,” maybe it’s just me. And one last thing about the songs, what the hell is ”Notting hill Nottingham” like that title is also the chorus and I’m just?? maybe if I understood the rest of the lyrics it would make sense? aside from the debatable chorus line, the drums are a blast in this song. Clips and music videos available on YouTube along with a behind the scenes two part video on the official musical’s channel.

Non-Music: well the costumes are ok, don’t love them but don’t hate them either, though friar tuck’s is debatable, from the bits I’ve seen most of the background is done with a screen which is fine, it’s more of a concert style show anyway, I’m a big fan of the ladder trees though, the dancing and acrobatics is probably the highlight of the show (again only saw bits but it looks good)

Dracula l'amour plus fort que la mort (2012): This is different from the Frank Wildhorn Dracula musical, Dracula: A chamber Musical and the Swedish Dracula musical. Unsurprisingly this musical is based on Stoker Dracula telling which I never read so I don’t know how much it follows that text. It was also inspired by the 1992 Coppola film (which again I have never watched). I won’t be too helpful about plot summary but it follows the general novel plot with Jonathan Harker engaged with Mina Murray goes off to Dracula’s castle for work. Things happen, the issue with Lucy occurs then Mina is targeted by Dracula and Harker with the Dr. Seward and Helsing go to kill Dracula to save Mina. There also seems to be a subplot where Mina was Dracula’s lover in a past life, which is shown through dance sequences throughout the show.Music wise it’s mainly rock pop which is up my alley. Personally, just based on music and not lyrics I like “Encore”, “Elles”, “ Le Ciel et l'Enfer” “ La Dernière danse” and maybe “L'Amour et son Contraire”. The full show is available on YouTube.

Non-music: This show goes hard on edgy imagery. I personally quite liked the general over the top modernish gothic vibe. The dancers are great and quite liked some of the limited palette scene. The opening shadow puppet scene was cool. The only part I really had issue with is maybe the CGI 3d video scene. It was cool at times but the CGI is not great which is not their fault, but kind of distracted me. Also if you watch it there is this scene where Harker is laying in a large Pieta statue (minus the Jesus) and it’s just great. Like edgy church imagery with vampires? sign me up. There’s also this Vampire dream sequence in a bed because of course every vampire musical needs one (Tanz der Vampire if you know what I mean). Harker is in bed and vampire women come out from the bed (the bed itself is a hollow prop where dancers are hiding within and pop out from the holes hidden by the puffy bedding), the bed itself could have been more decorative with posts (like tanz) but still a really cool scene, Almost forgot, Mina and Dracula are played by dancers so they don’t really sing, especially Dracula he does not speak at all. Costumes are fun to look at, some are the best but I appreciated the general look of the show so I’m not that bothered. I strangely grew to like the spiney Dracula costumes, I think the fact he didn’t talk and just danced helped me like the costume more.

Overall, fun show so if pop rock is your vibe this show you should check it out.

Cindy Cendrillion (2002): This show is not good, but I had a blast laughing about it as I watched it so I recommend it. Let me clarify, my dislike is not due to the cast, in general I thought singing and dancing and all that were really good, what gets me is how dated it is now (it is really early 2000’s vibes and some of the plot is debatable). Show is available split into two acts on YouTube.

So the plot is pretty much a retelling of the Cinderella story in a modern early 2000′s setting. Cindy (Cinderella) is the daughter of an recently disappeared Irish pilot. and she lives with her step mother and sisters who are mean to her. She has a passion for dancing the jig, I’m assuming they are referencing Irish step to a certain degree. She goes out in night to dance but her step-mother threatens to kick her out if she doesn’t come home before midnight. A super star named Ricky (Prince Charming) has a Birthday ball and sees Cindy and falls in love. Also Ricky had a model Fiancée Judy who he breaks it off with to pursue Cindy. Spoilers now... Ricky writes a song where one can dance “the jig” to so they hold a competition to find a dancer for it, guess who wins? Cindy.. they fall in love... but Judy realises it’s all over for her and Ricky ands faxes him so mean message then commits suicide by overdosing on drugs. Cindy gets scared and leaves Ricky to Ireland. Ricky tracks her down and they fly away in a spaceship?! honestly this plot is just sure something.

Okay.... um if you read the spoiler section of the summary you’ll know how wild this show is. For those who haven’t warning there is an suicide by overdosing on drugs in the show. Music wise it’s alright, I watched the show but all the songs are quite forgettable because I was so distracted by the plot. Again the vocals are nice so perhaps I just need to listen to audio only, though I’m unsure about some of the lyrics.

Non-Music: I have so much to rant about this show. First off it’s just weird that her Irish pilot dad keeps appearing in like spiritual form. Also Cindy is not spectacular at dancing, which is hilarious during the jig dancing competition you have actual dancer ensemble members doing cool moves and in general good dancing but at the end Cindy comes stepping around and twirling a bit, the same choreography she does every time she danced the jug in the show and then wins the competition. Honestly, they should of just done full Irish step dancing and had the actress trained in it or to be more practical had a double for Cindy that was obscured to trick the audience into thinking this double was Cindy. The actress was lovely and maybe she can dance but “the jig” choreography was so pathetic compared to the ensemble’s part, even the ensemble part was weird.. maybe I just don’t understand what “jig” dancing is. Also the ending was so random to me, maybe it’s because of my lacking French, I get there were references to space throughout the show but WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ENDING. Well stage wise it was interesting at parts. I like the large center column piece that had platforms on it that moved around the pillar. Cindy’s love song to Ricky with her in front of a large Ricky Magazine and two screens showing zoom ups on Ricky was weird. Finally, costumes, really dated and tacky but I think they were quite fun. The only complaint I really have is Ricky, he wears this half tank top half leather jacket look, and it’s really a single tiddy out look.

Starmania (1979): Let me start by saying I DON’T hate this show I just know little about it. I’ve watched bits a few years ago and only really recall one song. It’s one of THE French musicals, I mean I wouldn’t know for certain but you’ll see it’s quite popular and covered by newer musicals cast member (like Mozart L’Opera Rock). The photo is from a more recent production which is different from the original costumes. As a show it’s set in a futuristic society so there is some surreal techno outfits and set pieces, which are actually quite cool. It’s pretty much about a gang called the Black Stars who are trying to rebel against a billionaire turned politician Zéro Janvier. There is romance plots, the wiki has more info on that. In general, the singing is great and from the parts I’ve seen it looks interesting despite the show aesthetic being really not my thing. Full versions of the show are available on YouTube, the production done in English is also posted on YouTube. I would say if you are trying to get into French Musicals this is a good one to listen to as well as it’s kind of a classic but I hesitate as the visuals look a bit weird due to the futuristic element (kind of remind me if starlight Express when it comes to costume) but if this isn’t you cup of tea there are plenty of other shows as well.

Résiste (2015): It’s a French Jukebox Musical. It’s one of those one artist jukebox musicals, so all the songs were originally sung by France Gall and written by Michel Berger. It’s about five friends (I think they’re friends), two of whom are sisters. The sisters work with their dad at the family bar/night club. The plot revolves around something tragic happening and the five friends trying to deal and grow from it? (probably something to do with the night club)I haven't seen it so I have no idea what the tragic event is. I didn’t know any of the songs before this musical but it’s quite catchy and fun. Clips of the show and songs are available on YouTube.

#French musicals #résiste #starmania #robin des bois #cindy #cendrillion #dracula l'amour plus fort que la mort #dracula #france gall #michel berger #theatre #rambling #musicals

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lit-works · 5 years

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Transhumanism

The summer of 2004, Wil Smith starred in "I, Robot", the cinematic interpretation of 9 short stories by Isaac Asimov. When i was in 7th grade, Asimov struck me as a profoundly compelling figure, prompting me to read his extended archive of literary works, which i quit reading after the second book. (The stories seemed a little implausible.) i did, however, unleash a stirring oral book report on "I, Robot", a literary collection that was punctuated by Asimov's now famous Three Rules of Robotics:

1.) A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

2.) A robot must obey orders given it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

3.) Do not talk about Fight Club.

Now, i don't think I'm giving anything away by telling you that the robots in "I, Robot" find a loophole to those principles, and they then proceed to slowly fuck humanity over. This is a story that was written over half a century ago. However, it paints a scenario we as humans continue to fear. "I, Robot" was published in 1950, but writers (or at least the Muttonchopped Isaac) were already terrified about mankind's bellicose relationship with technology. If we have learned anything from film, literature, and rock music, it is this: humans will eventually go to war against the machines. There is apparently no way to avoid this. But, you know what? If we somehow manage to lose this war, we really have no excuse. Because i can't imagine any war we've spent more time worrying about.

The Terminator trilogy is about war against the machines; So is the Matrix Trilogy. So was Maximum Overdrive, although that movie also implied that robots enjoy the music of AC/DC. I dont think the Radiohead album "OK Computer" was specifically about computers trying to kill us, but it certainly suggested that computers were not "okay". "2001: A Space Odyssey" employs elements of robot hysteria, as does the plotline to roughly thousands of video games. Blade Runner also had touched on this topic, but i honestly encounter difficulty recalling the narrative details; i was too busy pretending i wasnt stoned af. There is even a Deutsch electronica band called "Lights of Euphoria" whose supposed masterpiece is a concept album titled "Krieggegen die Maschinen", which literally translates as, "War Against the Machines". This means that even European techno fans are aware of this phenomenon, and those idiots generally arent aware of anything(except who in the room might be holding ketamine).

Im not sure how we all became convinced that machines intend to dominate us. As i type this, i can see a toaster, and I'll be honest: I'm not nervous. As far as i can tell, it poses no threat. My relationship with this toaster is delicious, but completely one-sided. The toaster is the Labradford Smith to my Micheal Jordan. I'm never concerned that this toaster will poison me, or that it will foster a false sense of security before electrocuting me in the shower, or that it will politically align itself with the microwave. The toaster does not want to conquer human society. I even played "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" in the kitchen, just to see if the toaster would become self-aware and spring for my jugular out of misanthropy; its reaction was negligible. Machines have no grit.

It appears we have spent over half a century preparing for a war against a potential foe who--thus far--has been nothing but civil to us; it's almost like we've made a bunch of "Red Dawn" movies that warn about a coming conflict with the Netherlands or Canada. In fact, there isnt even evidence that robots could kick our ass if they wanted to. Back in March of 2006, a clandestine military group called DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) challenged engineers to build a driverless vehicle that could traverse a 150-mile course in the Mojave Desert; the contest's winner was promised a cash prize of $1 million. You know who won? Nobody. Nobody's robot SUV could make it farther than 7.4 miles. Even with the aid of GPS, robots are pretty moronic. Why do we think they could build the matrix today if they couldn't even drive to Vegas in 2006??

I suspect all these dystopic "Man versus Machine" scenarios are grounded in the fact that technology is legitimately alienating; the rise of computers(and robots, and IPhones, and nanomachines who hope to turn the world into sentient "gray goo") has certainly made life easier, but they've also accelerated depression. Case in point: if this were 1904, you would not be reading this; you would be chopping wood or churning butter or watching one of your 13-28 children perish from crib death. Your life would be horrible, but your life would have purpose. It would have clarity. Machines allow humans the privilege of existential anxiety. Machines provide us with the extra time to worry about the status of our careers, and/or the context of our sexual relationships, and/or what it means to be truly alive. Unconsciously, humans hate technology. We hate the way it replaces visceral experience with self-absorption. The only way we can reconcile that hatred is by pretending machines hate us, too.

It is human nature to personify anything we dont understand: Gods, animals, hurricanes, mountain ranges, jet skis, strippers, etc. We deal with inanimate objects by assigning them the human qualities we assume they might have if they were exactly us. Consequently, we want to think about machines as slaves, and we like to pretend those mechanized slaves will eventually attempt a hostile takeover. Cuz, that's what we'd do.

The truth, of course, is that we are the slaves; the machines became our masters through the bloodless coup that began during the industrial revolution. (In fact, this is kind if what "I, Robot" is about, although the Will Smith version will not make that clear.) By now, i think most America s are aware of that reality; I think any smarter-than-average person already concedes that (A) we've lost our control over technology, and (B) there's nothing we can do about it. But, that's defeatist. Openly embracing that despair would make the process of living even darker than it already is; we'd all move to rural Montana abd become Unabombers. We need to remain optimistic. And how do we do that? By preparing ourselves for a futuristic war against intelligent, man-hating cyborgs. As long as we dream of a war that has not yet happened, we are able to believe it's a war that we have not yet lost.

But perhaps im all wrong about this. Perhaps we humans are still in command, and a perhaps there really will be a conventional robot war in the not-so-distant future. If so, let's roll. Im ready. That toaster will never be the boss of me. Get ready to make some Pop-Tarts, Bitch!!

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funface2 · 5 years

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40 of Eddie Izzard’s funniest jokes and quotes ahead of his October shows at Edinburgh’s Festival Theatre – The Scotsman

Self-professed “action transvestite” Eddie Izzard is one of Britain’s best loved comedians, and a growing presence on the political scene.

(Getty Images)

His rambling, whimsical monologues throw up surreal imagery and observational comedy, which combine to resemble something you might dream up when you’re neither fully awake nor fully asleep.

We compiled 40 of his best moments ahead of his new stand-up show Wunderbar at Festival Theatre, Edinburgh, on Saturday 19 and Sunday 20 October.

You can buy tickets on Capital Theatre’s website here.

(Warning: contains some strong language)

(Getty Images)

“Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. And monkeys do too – if they have a gun.”

“Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you’re just noticing members of the sex: ‘Girls girls, ooo’. Naturally you want to look your best, and God says ‘No! You will look the worst you’ve ever looked in your life!'”

“Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. OK, we can swing with that. But performance debilitating drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the hundred meters, fair play for you. That’s pretty damn good. Unless someone’s dangling a Mars Bar off in the distance…”

“If you’ve never seen an elephant ski, you’ve never been on acid.”

“I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.”

“Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal.”

“Cats leap up walls! Six foot walls, they just go – ‘fwang’! They always land perfectly, you never see cats on a wall having a problem, do you? You never see a cat going, ‘F***ing ‘ell! I’m not sure about this’, and a cat on the ground, going, ‘Easy, Ginger! I’ll walk you down!'”

“I’ve learnt that the world is 4500 million years old. If you’re very religious, then it’s not 4500 million years old, it’s 6000 years old. One of these is not correct.”

“Scrabble was invented by Nazis to p*** off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was also invented by Nazis to p*** off kids with dyslexia.”

“Do you know the three rules of Fascism? Make s*** up, scream it loudly, and then kill people.”

“Richard The Lionheart: one of the greatest English kings we have going. Born in Oxford, fought all the fights, fought against Saladin in the third crusade, good looking, played the banjo, the David Beckham of kings, right? Revered by the English; English as English Pie. And he spoke… French.”

“You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking ‘this is a fresh shop, everything in here is fresh! I will do well to shop here’. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You’d think ‘this is a poo shop! Everything in here is themed on poo!'”

“I’ve done a bit of Latin in my time… but I can control it.”

“Horseshoes are lucky. Horses have four bits of lucky nailed to their feet. They should be the luckiest animals in the world. They should rule the country.”

“I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.”

“If you’re choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, ‘Heimlich maneuver,’ and all will be well. Trouble is, it’s difficult to say ‘Heimlich maneuver’ when you’re choking to death.”

“I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over. Because if a woman falls over wearing heels, that’s embarrassing. But if a bloke falls over wearing heels, you have to kill yourself. It’s the end of your life.”

“What shall we call our son so he does not get the s*** kicked out of him at school? We shall call him Englebert Humperdink! Yes, that’ll work.”

“There’s not much makeup in the army, is there? No. They only have that nighttime look, and that’s a bit slapdash, isn’t it?”

“Squirrels always eat nuts with two hands, always two hands, and occasionally, they stop and go, oh, uh, ah, as if they’re going, ‘Did I leave the gas on? No! I’m, no I’m a f***ing squirrel!'”

“If I were Achilles, I would put my foot in a f*** off block of concrete!”

“I couldn’t tell the kids at school I was a transvestite. They’d kill me with sticks. ‘Why are we killing him with sticks?’ ‘I don’t know… he said a word we didn’t understand… and he won at Scrabble with it…'”

“There’s two positions in snowboarding. One is looking cool and the other is DEAD!”

“Racist people, interestingly, are never as polite as smokers. Have you noticed that? Smokers always go, ‘Do you mind if I smoke? Oh, you do? Okay, I’ll go outside and have a cigarette.’ Racist people never go, ‘Do you mind if I’m racist? Oh, I’ll go outside… f***ing blue people, eh? Coming here, stealing our hamsters…”

“Charles Darwin wrote a famous book. And that book was an interesting book, because it was called ‘Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-You'”.

“Today’s sermon is taken from a magazine that I found in a hedge. This season’s lipstick colours will be in the frosted pink area – and nails to match… and this reminds me rather of our lord Jesus. Because, surely, when Jesus rode into town on a donkey, he must have gotten tarted up a bit.”

“People think I’m on drugs and I’m not. Just a bit of coffee. When I take drugs I start going, ‘Oh, would you like insurance?'”

“I was very driven as a boy scout. Very driven. Driven everywhere I was.”

“They went to the Moon and they brought back rock. Trouble is, we’ve got rock. That was the one thing we didn’t need, wasn’t it?”

“Words like ‘kiosk’: that’s a Viking word and it came from when they would rape and pillage. Because they would rape and pillage and awful and blood everywhere and limbs hacked and money stolen, and then they’d say, ‘If you have enjoyed today’s experience, you can get some souvenirs in the kiosk down on the beach.”

“Picasso, he should have been a taxidermist. ‘I’ve done your dog. It’s got nine eyes down the side, I made his head all square, 15 legs.'”

“The same people who make toasters make showers. For they have a turney button too that lies. For we all know turn turn turn turn for hot. Turn turn turn turn for cold. But the only position we’re interested in is the position one nanomillimeter between fantastically hot, and f***ing freezing.”

“I’m an action transvestite really, so it’s running, jumping, climbing trees… putting on make up when you’re up there!”

“Pears can just f*** off too. Because they’re gorgeous little beasts, but they’re ripe for half an hour, and you’re never there. They’re like a rock or they’re mush. You put them in the bowl, and they go, ‘Don’t ripen yet, don’t ripen yet. Wait til he goes out the room! Ripen! Now now now!'”

“In the Christian faith God created Adam in his own image, yeah? That was good, but 65 million years before that God created the dinosaurs using the image of his cousin Ted. Ted was not the black sheep of the family, he was the huge f***ing monster of the family.”

“I love technology! If you have techno-joy, you get the instructions, you unwrap it, and you throw the instructions out the window! Forget them! F*** ’em! I must know how this works, I’ve used machines before!”

“When a bird gets sucked into an engine they call it ‘bird strike’. It’s not bird strike, it’s ‘engine suck’!”

“I grew up in the 70s, when the careers adviser used to come to school, and he used to get the kids together and say, ‘Look, I advise you to get a career, what can I say? That’s it.'”

“That’s what narcissism is all about; looking in the mirror everyday and thinking ‘Damn, I’d like to shag myself.'”

“MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.”

“If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.”

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from Funface https://funface.net/best-jokes/40-of-eddie-izzards-funniest-jokes-and-quotes-ahead-of-his-october-shows-at-edinburghs-festival-theatre-the-scotsman/

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funface2 · 5 years

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40 of Eddie Izzard’s funniest jokes and quotes ahead of his performance at the Edinburgh Playhouse – The Scotsman

Self-professed “action transvestite” Eddie Izzard is one of Britain’s best loved comedians. And a growing presence on the political scene.

(Getty Images)

His rambling, whimsical monologues throw up surreal imagery and observational comedy, which combine together to resemble something you might dream up when you’re is neither fully awake nor fully asleep.

We compiled 40 of his best moments ahead of the performance of his new stand-up show Wunderbar at the Edinburgh Playhouse

(Warning: contains some strong language)

“Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. And monkeys do too – if they have a gun.”