Shadows of the Past
Part 38 (Part 37)
Warning :: mentions of blood and injuries
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(Y/N POV)
You run to the back of the truck and open the trunk, pulling out the first aid kit, you get in the back seat as quickly as possible. Bucky carefully lays Loki in the back seat, resting his head in your lap then he gets in the drivers seat. You open the first aid kit and dig around for the gauze as Bucky peels out, driving past the arriving SHIELD agents.
“Loki,” you say as you put the gauze on his head wound. “Loki, I need you to wake up, please. You have to open your eyes for me,” you keep talking as Bucky drives through a red light. You try your best to stay calm but your heart is pounding in your chest. You reach for more gauze, trying to slow the bleeding.
“Bucky?” you ask, looking up.
Bucky and you make eye contact in the rear view mirror, “Just a few more minutes. How is he?”
You shake your head but don’t answer him, you don’t want to say it out loud. Looking back down at Loki, you use the back of your arm to wipe your eyes and notice how much blood is on your hand. Your lungs feel tight and you can barely breath. Loki stirs slowly as you put more pressure on the wound but doesn’t open his eyes. “Mischief, please,” you plead with him as Bucky makes a sharp left turn. Loki moans at the movement of the truck and you can feel hope slowly creeping in over the fear. “Loki, I need you to come back,” you shake him gently with one hand, still holding the gauze tight with the other.
He moans again and coughs, his eyelids fluttering. “Almost there,” Bucky says from the front of the truck.
Loki moves slightly in your arms again and you take his hand in yours. “Y/N?” he says quietly, opening his eyes slowly.
You smile through your tears and reassure him, “I’m here, Loki.” You squeeze his hand and wipe away more of the blood. You toss the gauze on the floor of the truck and get more, you notice the wound looks slightly smaller than it did when you first saw it. He heals quickly, he’s a god, he’s going to be fine, you try to remind yourself.
“Y/N,” he says again a little louder and squeezes your hand back. He smiles up at you and touches your cheek softly with his other hand.
“I love you Loki,” you tell him as you kiss the hand he brought to your cheek.
“I love you too Y/N,” he says, “I’m ok, I promise darling,” he says. He tries to sit up but he coughs and lays back again, his eyes drifting closed.
“We’re here,” Bucky says as he brings the truck to a stop in front of the tower and gets out.
(LOKI POV - earlier)
“So what’s the plan now?” Y/ N asks you while Bucky radios Tony that you think you are at the correct location. You can hear the radio chatter but you take your ear piece out, not wanting to be distracted by it.
“You take several more steps back and stay behind Bucky so I can take this book out,” you look up and tell her. You know she won’t stay back on her own but he will do what he needs to. He wouldn’t risk her getting hurt and having to answer to you, Steve or Thor.
“I don’t like that plan,” she says but Bucky faces her and moves her further back. She tries to go around him but he puts his metal arm out and shakes his head for her to stop.
“Y/N, I’ll radio for backup but we need to clear the area. We don’t know how big this is so we can’t risk civilians getting in the way or hurt,” Barnes tells her.
She leans around his large frame to look at you and you give her the best smile you can muster at the moment. “Barnes is right, you should make sure everyone is at a safe distance,” you say, trying not to sound worried.
“You’re not at a safe distance,” she argues back.
You chuckle lightly, “That’s fair... but still, someone has to clear the area. Barnes will stay here to help me with this situation I seem to have gotten myself into, ok?” She finally agrees and walks off quickly to the truck. You watch her as she tapes off the area and then she goes into the first building to empty it out. As soon as she’s far enough away, you let out the breath you had been holding and look at Bucky.
“What do you see?” he asks taking a few steps towards you.
You bend down slightly to look between the two books, “Hmm... not much. I can see one thin wire but not where it goes.”
“Did you hear anything?” he asks.
You nod and don’t like how Barnes looks immediately more concerned. He asks you what you heard. You clear your throat, “When I lifted it there was a click... so that’s not good right?”
He shakes his head no. “It might be trigged by pressure or movement which means you should be fine so long as you don’t move at all,” he says.
“Don’t move, got it,” you respond. You stand there silently, holding the book tightly in one hand.
“Wait... there should be a way to do this without setting it off right?” he asks. You turn your head from looking at the book you are holding, to look at him. “Well, I’m just saying they wouldn’t risk blowing themselves up every time they did this,” he says.
"Makes sense," you agree. "So you think we can stop it even though I seem to have already armed it?"
He shrugs which you find very helpful. You sigh and he says, "This would be easier if I could see what we were working with."
"I don't think that's going to be an option," you tell him. "I do have an idea though."
"A good idea?" he tries to sound hopeful.
"I hope so..." you answer.
(Y/N POV)
You finish clearing the last store on the block and radio to Bucky that you are coming back. The response team is only 5 minutes out so this should all be over soon, you think to yourself. You step out of the building and into the street, jogging up the block to where you had left them. You see Loki still standing with his hand on the book, his eyes fixed on it. Bucky is about fifteen feet back, talking to him about something but you can't make it out.
You watch Loki as he is engulfed in a green glow that spreads from his feet up to his head quickly then he steps back. Suddenly there are two of him, one holding the book and the other carefully backing away. You realize he made a duplicate of himself so he can get clear. A part of you is relieved he is no longer actually holding the trigger but you know he is still way to close to be safe.
You jog closer, heading towards Bucky as the real Loki continues to slowly put distance between himself and the duplicate. He keeps his eyes on it, as if willing it not to move an inch. You can hear the sirens of the SHIELD cars approaching and Loki looks around. His eyes fall on you and you can tell from the look on his face that his focus shifted for a second but it is just long enough. The duplicate wavers, dropping the book and then suddenly you're on the ground looking up.
You cough and try to sit up, your ears ringing and the back of your head is throbbing. When you look at your hand, there's no blood so you get to your knees. You feel a sharp pain in your ribs but you get up and look around you. The box that was holding the books is gone, a small fire rages where it used to be. You take a few steps forward, looking for Loki and you see him, laying in the middle of the street face down. You start to run towards him, stumbling but you don’t stop until your kneeling over him.
“Loki... Loki!” you call to him but he doesn’t answer. Bucky is at your side and he helps you roll him carefully onto his back. You look up at Bucky, feeling panic threatening to engulf you completely. There’s a large, deep cut on Loki’s forehead but you don’t see any other injuries. “Help me get him back to the tower,” you say to Bucky and he nods. Bucky picks up Loki and the two of you rush towards the truck as the SHIELD agents arrive on scene.
(LOKI POV)
You open your eyes and look around, realizing your in a bed in the infirmary. Your head hurts and your exhausted, you feel like you could sleep for days. There’s something on your chest and you look down to see Y/N curled up on the small bed with you. Her arms are around you and her head is resting on your chest, she always said it was her favorite place to sleep. You feel a smile spread across your lips as you slowly run your fingers through her hair. She cuddles up closer to you and you wrap your arms around her. Kissing the top of her head softly, you whisper, “I love you so much Y/N.”
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Shadows of the Past
Part 39 (Part 38)
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(THOR POV)
You move quickly to the infirmary to get word on Loki’s condition. You heard he had woken up just as Bucky pulled up to the tower but he lost consciousness again on the way to the infirmary. You know your brother, you’ve seen him heal from much worse but still, you would feel better if he was awake and telling you how much you annoyed him again. You walk into the infirmary and see Y/N sitting in chair in the corner of the waiting room. She is staring blankly at her hands in her lap and as you get closer to her you realize they are covered in blood.
“Y/N,” you say quietly bending down in front of her. She doesn’t look up so you put your hand on her knee, “Y/N, are you ok?” She slowly looks at you but doesn’t answer your question. You look at her hands and then back to her face, her eyes are red and not focused on anything.
“Come with me,” you say as you get up. She stands and you gesture for her to follow you down the hall into an empty exam room. You close the door and she stands in the middle of the room, looking at the floor. You turn on the sink and take her wrist, bringing her hands under the water. She holds her hands under the warm water and you put your hand on her back lightly.
“He’s going to be fine, Y/N. He’ll be awake soon. I know my brother, he’s too stubborn to let someone like Marc get the best of him,” you try to reassure her but she doesn’t seem to hear you.
She exhales deeply and as the blood begins washing off she starts to cry softly. “Its my fault,” she mumbles over and over as she starts to scrub her hands harder and faster.
“No no, stop. Y/N, this isn’t your fault,” you take her hands to stop her.
She looks up at you, making real eye contact with you for the first time. “It’s my fault he got hurt Thor. I distracted him... he lost focus, the duplicate... he saw me and he lost focus,” she tells you as she starts to cry harder.
“Y/N, you know you aren’t to blame for this. You couldn’t have known this would happen,” you tell her.
She shakes her head, “I just- I love him so much Thor. What if... what if he’s really hurt because of me?”
You move closer to her and put your arms around her. It hurts you to see her like this, she normally seems so strong and put together. You remember how worried she was when Loki had been stabbed, this was so much more traumatic for her. “Y/N, Loki knows you love him. And he loves you, he’s told me he would do anything to keep you safe. Look at me, you aren’t to blame for this, Hydra is and Loki knew the risks the minute he agreed to go on this mission. Unfortunately, that’s the job we all signed up for. You know that, you used to be an agent,” you tell her.
She nods and wipes her eyes. “I know, I know. I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to-” she says.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” you say, hugging her a bit tighter and when you do she hisses in pain. You let go of her quickly and she holds her side, wincing. “Y/N, did you get hurt?”
She shrugs, “I didn’t think so, I’m not really sure.”
“Y/N, didn’t you get checked out when you got here?” you try not to sound too worried.
She shakes her head no, “I didn’t want to leave Loki, in case he wakes up. I wanted to be there.”
“We need to get you examined, come with me,” you say opening the door. She walks with you back to the nurses station.
(Half an hour later)
You sit in one of the chairs in the waiting room next to Y/N, hoping to hear an update on how Loki is doing. You look over at her, she hasn’t said a word since she came back from x-ray. Her ribs aren’t broken but she was thrown hard, it could have been a lot worse. Bucky walked by while she was being examined, he had been given the all clear and was headed to see Steve and Tony for a debriefing.
Finally, Loki’s doctor walks by and goes into his room. He is in there for about ten minutes and when he comes out he says, “You can go in now if you want. He is still unconscious but I think he should be waking up soon.”
Y/N gets up and quickly makes her way to the room, her hand on her side as she opens the door. She stops and looks back at you, “Are you coming?”
“You go ahead, he’ll be more excited to see you when he wakes up then me. I’ll be here,” you tell her with a smile, still sitting in your seat in the waiting area.
She comes back over to you and hugs you, “Thank you Thor, for everything.” You hug her back and then she goes into Loki’s room, closing the door behind her.
(Y/N POV)
You open the door to the room Loki is in, he’s asleep in the bed with a small bandage on his forehead. You think about sitting in the chair next to the bed but decide to crawl into the bed with him. You don’t want to be any further away from him than you have to be right now. You curl up against his side and put your head on his chest. You close your eyes and you can hear his heartbeat like you did so many times before.
Gradually you start to feel yourself getting tired, the toll of the day finally catching up with you. Your eyelids get heavy and you kiss his cheek before closing your eyes. As you feel yourself slowly drift off you tell Loki, “I love you, Mischief.”
(Two hours later)
You don’t know how long you were asleep but when you open your eyes you can feel Loki’s arms around you. One of his hands is on your back, slowly sliding up and down. “Loki?” you ask, sitting up a little so you can look up at him.
He smiles at you, “Hi love.”
“Loki! You’re awake,” you say excitedly. You kiss him as his hand strokes your cheek, his other hand stays on your lower back, holding you tight.
He nods when you finally break the kiss, “For about an hour. You looked so comfortable, I didn’t want to disturb you. You even slept through Thor coming in to visit for a little bit.”
A knock on the door draws your attention away from Loki and you see his doctor. You climb out of the bed carefully and Loki sits up. The doctor removes the bandage on Loki’s forehead and you can’t help but gasp a little. You remember how large the wound was when you were trying to stop the bleeding in the truck. Now, not only was it less than half the size, it didn’t even seem to have needed stiches. The two of them talk for a little while and the doctor seems pleased with his progress. He tells Loki so long as he doesn’t have a headache or feel dizzy, he sees no reason why he needs to stay any longer.
(LOKI POV)
The two of you walk down the hall back to your room together, her hand in yours. You haven’t let go of her since you left the infirmary. Stark had come to see you while you were being discharged and told you both to take a week off to rest. You open the door and let her in first.
“So... a whole week,” you say with a smile as you close the door.
“A whole week,” she puts her arms around your neck. You kiss her and take a step towards the door. You press her back against the door and keep kissing her, your hands roaming up and down her sides. She suddenly gasps sharply and pulls away from you.
“Y/N, are you ok?” you ask letting go of her.
“Sorry, I’m fine,” she says unconvincingly.
“Don’t lie to me love,” you tell her.
“I just- its just a bruise,” she says, lightly holding her side.
“I thought you said you weren’t injured. Didn’t they examine you?” you ask worried.
She gives you a half smile but you look at her sternly. She looks down and slowly lifts up her shirt to show you a large bruise on her side and ribs. It wraps around to her back. “They did an x-ray when we got here. I didn’t break any ribs but I got the wind knocked out of me pretty good,” she tells you, putting her shirt back down.
You hug her carefully, not wanting to hurt her, “I’m sorry Y/N. You should have told me you were hurt.”
She looks up at you, “I was so worried about you, I didn’t even notice at first.”
You lean down and kiss her softly, “We should take care of that Y/N, come here.” She nods and you take her by the hand, leading her to the couch. You sit at one end, with your legs on the couch and she lays on top of you, her bruised side up. You slowly let go of your illusion and take on your true form. She gently runs her fingers up and down your arm, tracing the patterns on your skin. You turn on the TV, mostly for background noise and slide your other hand under her shirt.
“Too cold?” you ask her as you carefully rest your hand on her bruise.
She shakes her head no, “Its perfect Loki.” She smiles up and you and kisses your lips, then your cheek and then she rests her head on your chest.
You move your hand slowly up and down her side, trying to keep all of her bruise iced for her. Your mind drifts back to when you had helped her ice her knee after surgery. You were thankful her injury wasn’t worse but you feel guilty for not being able to keep her safe.
Also as if she can hear your thoughts Y/N says, “I’m ok Loki, I promise it looks worse than it feels.” You kiss the top of her head and she looks up at you and says, “You know, now that we have all this free time, we can go on a whole bunch of dates.”
You laugh a bit and smile, “That’s an excellent point Y/N. What kinds of things would you like to do?”
“Hmm... I have an idea,” she says.
“Are you going to tell me what it is?” you ask her.
“Nope,” she says with a large smile. “I’m going to plan a whole day for us tomorrow... and I think I want it to be a surprise.”
You smile at her, “Then I’ll plan the next day, how does that sound?”
“I think that sounds like a lot of fun,” she kisses you and you kiss her back. You want to roll on top of her and kiss her harder while your hands roam all over her body but you are afraid of hurting her. For now, you decide to wait until her side has started to heal a bit so you don’t accidently make it worse.
“Are you going to give me a hint at all about tomorrow?” you ask her when she lays back on your chest. She shakes her head no and giggles.
@michelleleewise @evansabove1981 @ace-of-gay @butt-ugly-popsicle-stick @poetic-fiasco @lokisprettygirl22 @soubi001 @kats72 @misswimberly @meibruges @juulle987 @asgardianprincess1050 @el-zef @xorpsbane @sweatyroadcowboyjudge @apine7 @lulubelle814 @annoyingcloudninja @yoongissidebitchh @ihategreeneggs @daggers-and-mischief @nonsensicalobsessions @chaotics17
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