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arlana-likes-to-write · 4 months

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Christmas Star

!!There are spoilers in the warnings!!

Summary: On Christmas day, you had the realization you wanted to give your wife a gift that neither of you have talked about, a baby. In your eyes, Natasha was going to be a great mother and no matter what you had to go through you were going to give her, her Christmas gift.

Warning: birth, labor, contractions, miscarriage, c-section, blood lost, angst with fluff and a happy ending.

Word Count: 3.9k

You were standing on the porch of the Barton Homestead with a cup of coffee in your hands. It was lightly snowing as the Barton Kids and Kate and Yelena played in the yard. It was only 8 am, but you were exhausted. You and Natasha were up late with Clint and Laura to prepare for Christmas morning. Then Nathaniel woke up at 5 am. So, presents were unwrapped, breakfast was eaten, and the kids were dressed for the snow. It was a long day, but your heart was whole. You felt arms wrapped around your waist and leaned into her warmth. “I was looking for you, moya lyubov’.” She said, kissing your cheek. She played with the ring on your finger.

“Sorry, baby. I was watching them.” She hummed, burrowing her face in your neck. Her warm breath caused goosebumps to form on your skin. You and Natasha have been married for two years but together for 7. You weren’t an Avenger, a SHIELD agent, or a mutant. You were just an everyday citizen who happened to catch the eye of the Russian spy. You were a chief, and Tony Stark hired you and your team for a party. Right off the bat, Natasha started flirting with you, but you ignored her, focusing on doing a good job. Somehow, you woke up the following day with a text message from the Black Widow asking you out on a date. The rest was history. “Do you want kids?” You asked. Your wife’s arms tensed up. You spun around in her arms and ran your hands up and down her arms as a sign of comfort. “I know we haven’t talked about it.” The topic danced around as you knew Natasha couldn’t carry kids because of the Red Room. “But do you want them?” Natasha looked over her shoulder to watch the Barton kids. She sighed.

“Yeah, I’d love to be a mother.” She looked back at you. “But I can’t have them. We could adopt. I-”

“I can carry them.” You cut her off. She looked at you in disbelief. You grabbed her hands and rested them on your stomach.

“Are you serious about this?” She asked. You nodded.

“I haven’t been this serious about anything.” You chuckled. “Well, besides asking you to marry me.” Natasha had tears in her eyes.

“I’m pretty sure I asked you to marry me.” You shrugged, put your arms around her neck, and played with the baby hairs that didn’t fit into her ponytail. “We are going to be parents.” She said, pulling you into a hug and lifting you off the ground. You laughed, shaking your head. She was going to be a great mother.

You were pacing the bathroom while waiting for your phone timer to go off. Natasha was in a meeting, and you timed it so you would get the test result by the time she returned. It had been a few weeks from Christmas at the Bartons. With help from Helen, Bruce, and Tony, they combined Natasha’s DNA with a few of your eggs so your child would both be yours. You were extremely anxious. You wanted to give this to Natasha more than anything. The sound of your phone timer going off made you jump. With shaky hands, you picked up the test, and tears immediately ran down your cheeks as you looked at the tiny plus sign. “Baby, where are you?” You heard your wife ask. You whipped away the tears.

“Bathroom.” You turned around as the door opened.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Natasha asked, closing the distance between you and her. Before you could respond, she picked up the test. “Positive.” She said, looking at you. You nodded. The Russian dropped the pregnancy test and picked you up. You laughed as she spun you around. Your wife put you down, knelt so she was at eye level with your stomach, and lifted your shirt. She kissed your stomach softly. Her sweet gesture made you cry harder. She looked up at you with tears in her eyes. “We are going to have a baby.” She said. You nodded, cupping her face with your hands.

“You are going to be a mom.” She turned her head to kiss your palms.

“So are you.”

There was nothing that could prepare you for the weird pregnancy cravings. No amount of books you’ve read or researched online. Pregnancy cravings were wild. So you were in the Avenger’s kitchen making a dough of sugar cookies to drizzle chocolate and hot sauce over the top. It was….different.

As your alarm went off to signify the cookies were done, you put on the oven mitts and opened the oven. Pulling out the cookie tray, you gasped as a sharp pain ran through your stomach, and you dropped the tray. The metal clashing against the ground made you jump, causing another acute pain. “Mrs. Romanoff, it appears you are in a sign of distress. Should I alert the medical team?” The AI asked.

“Yes, FRIDAY,” you gritted out as your teeth clenched. “Tell Natasha.”

“As you wish.”

Natasha ran to the med bay as soon as FRIDAY alerted her of your medical emergency, leaving her meeting with Steve and Maria without another word. Part of her wish was that she could make portals like Strange so she didn’t have to wait for the elevator. As the metal doors opened and she walked into the med bay, Yelena awaited her. She wasn’t sure who alerted her sister, but she was grateful she was there. “Where is she?” Natasha asked her sister. Yelena held up her hands to stop her.

“Cho and Banner are with her.” She said.

“Is she okay? Yelena, I need to see her.” Panic spread through her at how quiet her sister was. You had to be okay. No matter what, Natasha could not lose you. The sound of a door open caused her to spin around, and she watched as Bruce walked out, closing it gently behind her. The Black Widow ran over to the scientist. “Bruce, is she okay?” Natasha couldn’t pinpoint the emotion on the doctor’s face.

“She’s okay, Nat.” he sighed. “But she had a miscarriage.” A miscarriage?

“Okay,” she simply said. “Can I see her?” She heard her sister’s footsteps walking up to her.

“She lost the baby,” Yelena said slowly. “You understand that, right?” She nodded. Of course, she knew what a miscarriage was. Before Laura was pregnant with Nate, she had a miscarriage. She called Natasha in a panic but tried to enforce that she didn’t need Clint. The Black Widow told Clint right away.

“I know,” she nodded again. “And it’s-” there weren’t words to describe everything she felt. “Yeah, but I need to see her, please.” Bruce smiled.

“Helen is with her,” he said. “She hasn’t said much since we told her the news.” Natasha wished they waited to tell them together. She buried the emotions that threatened to take her over and walked into the room Bruce existed from. As the scientist said, Helen sat beside you in the empty chair. She stood up as Natasha walked over to the bed and smiled sadly.

“Please let me know if you need anything.” The Black Widow couldn’t find anything as she moved next to you. You were curled underneath the covers with silent tears running down your cheeks.

“Hi, sweetheart,” You made no indication that you heard her. “Baby,” You silently reached for her hand and pulled her into the bed with you. Natasha moved behind you and wrapped her arms around you. You turned around to press your face in her shirt. Your body shook with sobs. “Sh, sweet girl. You’re okay.” You shook your head.

“I’m sorry.” The two-word phrase took a lot of work to hear.

“Why are you sorry?” She asked, kissing the top of your head.

“I lost our baby,” Natasha shook her head. She let you cry against her, but as your cries turned to quiet hiccups, she lifted your head.

“This is not your fault, my love. These things happen.” Your lips started to tremble. “I can’t imagine the pain you are going through, but this isn’t your fault, and I will remind you every single day.” You burrowed your head into her shoulder.

“I wanted to make you a mom.” You said. Natasha closed her eyes as she felt her tears. You were breaking her heart.

“I know, moya lyubov’,” she whispered, running her hand through your hair. “And we’ll try again when you are ready, or we can figure out another option, okay?” She felt you nod. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Natty.”

“Natasha!” You called out. You were standing in the master bathroom, looking in the full-length mirror.

“Are you alright?” Your wife asked, barging into the bathroom. You looked behind you.

“Oh, I’m fine.” Natasha huffed, placing a hand on her heart.

“You,” she took a minute to catch her breath. “You are going to give me a heart attack.” You giggled, holding out her hand. She took it, and you pulled her close, her front pressed against your back. “What’s going on?” Instead of answering, you placed her hands on your stomach. She looked confused, but her face morphed into awe. “Is that?” She whispered. You nodded. Getting pregnant took three more tries, but now you are carrying twin girls.

“They are little gymnasts.” Natasha laughed, looking down at your stomach.

“Be kind to your mother, little ones.” You turned around to kiss her.

“I love you so much.” You said against her lips.

“Not as much as I love you.” You heard the pounding of footsteps entering your shared bedroom.

“You better not be making me another niece or nephew.” It was your only warning before the bathroom door opened, and Yelena walked in. “At least wait till they are born before you start trying to have another.” You felt your body heat up from embarrassment, burying your head into Natasha’s neck.

“Suka (bitch),” Natasha said. Yelena laughed.

“The party is starting soon. We are just waiting for the guest of honor.” You rolled your eyes, stepped away from your wife, and grabbed your sister-in-law’s hand. When you placed her hand on your stomach, the blonde looked at you confused. "Whoa," she said when she felt the baby’s kick. “That is so weird.” You giggled.

“This is your tetya (aunt) Yelena.” Your Russian could have been better, but with so many people in your life who spoke the language, you figured you should learn it. The blonde had tears in her eyes, but she forced them away.

“I can not wait to get you all the loud toys and fill you with sugar.” You rolled your eyes with a kind smile. “Ya vsegda budu zashcishchat tebya (I will always protect you).” She smiled, whipping away a tear, and left. Natasha stood beside you with an arm around your waist, pulling you close.

“What did she say?” You asked. She smiled, shaking her head.

“Nothing bad, I promise. Come on, let’s go to this baby shower.”

Christmas Eve

You couldn’t find the hat you wanted, which generally wouldn’t be a big deal, but at seven months pregnant, your emotions and hormones were all over the place. “Dorogoy, we are going to be late,” Natasha said.

“I can’t find my hat.” You pouted. Natasha was an angel throughout this entire pregnancy. She dealt with every pregnancy craving, morning sickness, and mood swing. You couldn’t have done it without her. She smiled at the pout on your face.

“And what hat is that?” She asked.

“The one Lila made me for my birthday. I wanted to wear it because she’ll be at the party.” You explained.

“I think she’ll understand. Come on, krasivyy (beautiful), we will be late.” You rolled your eyes. The party was at the compound, and since you lived on the property of the compound, it was a 5-minute drive. The house was a gift from Tony and Pepper when you announced you were pregnant. It was far enough from the compound to have a sense of privacy but close enough if Natasha had to be pulled away for Avenger duty.

“Can you go check my closet one more time for me?” You asked, putting on your best puppy dog eyes. Your wife huffed, rolling her own eyes.

“I will go look.” You smiled, standing up and kissing her.

“You are the best.” She kissed your forehead.

“Make sure you grab your coat, okay?” You nodded, walking to the front door as Natasha approached your shared bedroom. You opened the coat closet and grabbed your winter jacket. You heard a pop and felt pressure in your pelvic area. The black leggings you wore felt wet as if you went to the bathroom. You gasped, placing your hands on your stomach.

“I found it,” Natasha said, rounding the corner. You looked at your wife as she had the crochet hat in her hand.

“My water just broke.” You said. She stared at you blankly. You’ve never seen her so speechless. You groaned at the first contraction. “Natalia!” Her name snapped her out of her trance. She dropped your hat and grabbed your pregnancy bag in the same closet. You held onto her hand. “It’s too soon.” You said, squeezing her hand. “I can’t go into labor. I can’t.”

“Sh, dorogoy. We are going to call Helen on the way.” You nodded as Natasha helped you exit the house and into the car.

Natasha kept herself calm. She needed to because she knew if she freaked out, you would freak out. FRIDAY alerted the doctor and was already at the compound due to the Christmas party. You held onto her hand tightly each time a concentration passed. “Are you okay?” She cringed at the question. “Forget I asked that. That was stupid.” Of course, you weren’t doing okay. You chuckled, wincing as another contraction came through.

“It’s fine,” you said and rubbed your swollen belly. “You know I love you, right? Because I’m not sure I want to go through this again.” Natasha laughed, squeezing your hand.

“One way to kick off the holiday season.”

Helen opened up the passenger door and helped you into the wheelchair. “Well, isn’t this a Christmas surprise,” the doctor smiled and put a blanket over your lap. “They sure know how to make an entrance.” She began to push you towards the door to the med bay.

“They get that from you,” you said to Natasha over your shoulder. The Black Widow shook her head. You saw the worried edge on her forehead. She hated any time you were in pain or sick. The doors opened as Helen and Yelena, Wanda, and Laura got closer. The blonde Black Widow smirked.

“You know I was looking forward to getting drunk off of Stark’s expensive liquor,” you smiled, winching as another painful concentration passed through. The smile on your sister-in-law’s face fell.

“There may still be time for that,” Laura said. “Just because she’s having concentrations doesn’t mean the babies are ready,” the small group followed Helen to a room. “It may be a while.” The mother of three hugged you. Oh, you hoped it wouldn’t take forever.

“We’ll be waiting outside,” Wanda hugged you. Yelena placed a hand on your shoulder.

“I’m excited to get my drinking partner back.” You smiled.

“Alright,” Helen said. “Let’s get you all set up.”

“And on some pain medication.”

“You’re doing great, detka,” Natasha said, rubbing a spot on your lower back that was killing you. “Just keep breathing.” You groaned, hands grabbing the blankets that covered you on the hospital bed.

“Natasha, darling,” you said. “If you tell me to breathe one more time, I’m gonna punch you.” The hand on your back stuttered but never stopped its movement. Yelena laughed, shaking her head at your comment. She never stopped playing a game on her phone that Cooper and Kate got her addicted to.

“Your wife is funny,” she chuckled. The door opened, and Helen walked in, followed by a nurse. Her name was Heather, you liked her.

“Alright,” Helen put on a pair of gloves. “Let’s see how we are doing.” You heard Yelena stand up.

“That is my cue to exist,” she said. “I hope Wanda brought back some good food.” She left the room. Natasha chuckled, kissing the top of your head. Heather walked over to check your vitals with a clipboard in hand. You needed to figure out what Helen was saying. Your head began to feel light and fuzzy. The sound in the room turned to white noise, like in a Charlie Brown episode when the adults would speak. Your head fell against Natasha.

“Dr. Cho, the heart rate of mom and the babies are dropping,” Heather said. You felt Natasha tense up.

“What-?” Helen moved next to you and rested your head on the pillow, then shone a light into your eyes.

“Heather, prepare the team. We need to do an emergency c-section. Take Natasha out of the room.” What? No. You wanted her to say. Please don’t take her away.

Natasha felt the nurse grab her arm, but she shrugged her off. “Helen, what is happening?” The doctor looked at her.

“Nat, I need you to leave to save your wife.” Save her wife? Save her wife? What was happening?

“The-the babies,” you stuttered, your eyes couldn’t focus. Natasha leaned forward and kissed your forehead.

“Don’t leave me, dorogoy,” she whispered, leaving with Heather. The door closed in front of her.

“Nat,” she heard her name but couldn’t pull her eyes away from the door. “What happened?”

“Her uh and the uh twins heart rate started to drop,” Natasha explained. “She needs an emergency c-section.”

“Jesus,” Yelena mumbled.

“Hey,” Laura grabbed her hand and led her to a chair. Her legs collapsed immediately, and she fell into the chair. “C-sections are pretty common these days, especially with twins.” Wanda sat down next to her in the empty chair.

“She’s in the best care,” the witch added. “Helen will take care of her.”

“I can’t lose her,” Natasha admitted. Yelena knelt in front of her sister.

“And you won’t. She is strong. She and the twins will come back to you.”

“Will you stop pacing?” Yelena snapped at Clint. Kate squeezed her hand to keep her calm. The older archer kept pacing, not bothered by the blonde’s threat. As soon as word got out regarding your condition, the party was called off, and the hallway was filled with the rest of the team. Some came and went, but Natasha paid little attention to any of them. Her green eyes trained on the tile floor as she played with her wedding ring.

There was too much time passing. Does this surgery usually take this long? If there were a problem, they would have notified her. Right? Natasha hated feeling this useless. She heard Yelena stand next to her, and the blonde gave her a lap on the back of her head to get her attention. Looking up, she saw Helen.

“Congratulations, Natasha,” the doctor smiled. “You have two beautiful baby girls.” Everyone let out a sigh of relief, but Natasha waited. She was happy they were healthy but needed to know about you. “Your wife lost a lot of blood, but she’ll pull through,” Helen answered the Black Widow’s unanswered question. “We’ve sedated her to help her body recover, but once they wear off, she will wake up.” Natasha sighed; a weight that rested on her chest was gone.

“Can I see them?” Natasha asked. Helen nodded. The Black Widow stood up and silently asked Yelena and Laura to join her. When she entered your room, she saw two bassinets with her daughters, but she made a beeline for you. You were so still and pale for her liking. The only reassurance she had was the beeping of the machines you were hooked up to. Gently, she ran her hand over the top of her hand.

“They’re so small,” Yelena whispered. “Are they supposed to be that small?” Laura hummed.

“It’s because they are premature,” Laura spoke softly. “They’ll get bigger over time. Nat,” The Black Widow looked away from you. “You should be the first one to hold them.”

“Me?” She slowly joined the duo and saw her daughters for the first time. They were a perfect blend of you and her. “I can’t. I don’t-”

“Yes, you can,” Yelena said. “You are their mama,” she’s held a baby before, and that wasn’t the problem. She imagined the first she kept her daughters; you would be healthy enough to witness it. Sighing, she carefully picked up the tiny baby with your hair color. She supported her head and held her close to her chest. Natasha let out a breathless laugh, tears forming at the corner of her eyes.

“You’re a natural,” Laura praised. Yelena leaned against Natasha’s arm to look at her niece.

“I can’t believe you made something this cute,” Natasha rolled her eyes.

“Thank you both,” she said. “Can you give me a minute alone?” They both told her to get them if she needed anything. When alone, she moved the bassinet over to you and sat in the empty chair. She sat in a comfortable silence, listening to the sounds of the machines.

“Hi, little ones,” she softly spoke. “I’m your mama. Your mommy did such a great job protecting you, and now she’s resting,” she explained. “Now it’s my turn.”

Soft singing woke you up, but you kept your eyes closed. You knew it was your wife’s voice. It was rare you caught her singing. Sometimes, it was humming a simple tone or singing the words to a popular song on the radio you cherished each time you saw her. She would become flustered, cheeks as red as her hair. The song was in Russian. The fog that was over your brain was allowing a few words in. Slowly, you opened your eyes and turned your head towards the sound. Natasha was so invested in the tiny baby in her arms with hair that matched your own color that she didn’t notice you were awake. “Hi, my love,” you made your presence known. The singing stopped. “Are they okay?” Natasha stared at you, blinking a few times as if her brain wasn’t processing that you were awake.

“They are perfect,” Natasha said. “You are perfect.” You sat up, winching slightly. “Take it easy, data.”

“Can I hold her?” You asked, holding out your arms. Natasha stood up without hesitation and put your daughter in your arms. Once she was secure, Natasha picked up her sister and sat on the edge of your bed. “My girls,” you whispered, your vision blurring with tears. “My beautiful tears.”

“You scared me,” Natasha admitted and kissed the top of your head. “You gave me two healthy daughters, but it wouldn’t have mattered if you weren’t here to see it.” You leaned your head back and kissed her, savoring the feeling of her lips against yours.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized. “Has the team met them?” Your wife shook her head.

“Only Yelena and Laura,” she said. “I was waiting for you.” You smiled and looked at your daughters.

“You have so many people that love you already, little ones. They will protect you, spoil you, and hopefully babysit when your mama and I need a break,” Natasha chuckled. “Our little Christmas stars.”

“Merry Christmas, Elena, and Gabby Romanoff.”

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #black widow one shot #black widow fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff x fem!reader

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myveryownfanfiction · 3 months

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18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery

request from @onedirectionlovers2014

request: So when Tony has to push the middle up towards the sky at the end of the movie and goes into space and blows that up, when he's calling pepper, that can be changed to the reader, the reader actually answers and hears everything so they're worried But the avengers bring Tony home afterwards and the reader basically takes care of him by feeding him and running him a bath

warnings: Avengers 1 spoilers, mention of death, Battle of New York, swearing

I raced back to New York as quickly as possible. Images of Tony flying through the wormhole played through my head as pieces of the phone call he made repeated themselves over and over again. When Happy could no longer get the car through the city safely, I told him to just meet me at Stark Tower when he could.

"He's going to be alright (Y/N)." Happy said, squeezing my shoulder before letting me take off in search of Tony. Police, SHIELD agents, and everyone in between gave me strange looks as I went racing through the city. I kept trying to call Tony but I didn't get a response. It wasn't until I tried calling Natasha that I felt like I was finally able to breath.

"He's alright. We're on our way to Stark Tower now." She said. "One last...back off Stark...no I'm not giving you...HEY!"

"(Y/N)?" Tony asked. I put a hand on my chest and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank fuck." I breathed out. Tony laughed on the other end. "Don't you ever do that again Anthony. You scared the crap out of me."

"I know. I'm sorry." Tony said softly. There was some teasing from Natasha in the background and I could hear Steve trying to keep the peace. "We're almost back at the tower. We got to grab Loki and then we're good. Thought about going out to try shawarma. Wanna join us?"

"No. And you're not going anywhere mister." I said. I could hear Tony gulp on the other end. "You are going to stay at the tower and wait for me. Then we are going to eat actual food and I am going to make sure you are alright." The line went silent for a second. "I saw you fall Tony. The suit powered down didn't it?" Silence. "Tony." I breathed out, looking up at the street sign. "Listen ETA ten minutes. I'll wait in the lobby. Come get me when its safe."

"Will do. Love you." Tony said before handing the phone back to Natasha. I hurried through the destruction to the tower. Fury was already there and ushered me in.

"I told Tony I'd wait here for him." I said. "What the fuck happened? Sending a nuke..."

"Security counsel." Fury said. "I was the only one who vetoed." I stared at him for a second before nodding. "(Y/N), you should know...and knowing Stark he won't tell you..."

"He called me. I know he went up. I know the suit powered down. That suit wasn't meant for space travel. Which is what I'm assuming he did." I said. Fury nodded.

"He was dead when he came down." I paused and looked away. "Rogers and Banner were with him. The Hulk actually. Thor too. But Rogers wouldn't have known the first thing to do and Thor was going to light Stark up to bring him back. Hulk did something and it brought him back." My eyes found Tony as he walked out of the elevator, Loki surrounded by the rest of the Avengers. "He's too proud to admit it, but he needs you. Especially now." I nodded.

"He was going to go out with the team for food. I'm making him stay in." I said. "Did someone look him over?" Fury shook his head. "Course not. Send someone up to the penthouse. Or what's left of it. Tony and I will meet them up there." Fury nodded once he saw Tony making his way over to us.

"Thank god you're safe." Tony breathed out as he hugged me. I hugged him back, finally feeling all the anxiety leave my body once he was back in my arms. "I'm so sorry for scaring you. I shouldn't have done that." Tony rubbed my arms as he pulled back.

"Called me?" I asked. "Or taken the missile up?" Tony dropped his gaze to my shoulders. "Because we both know that if you were faced with that possibility again, you wouldn't change a thing about how you handled it." Tony nodded and leaned in to bury his face in my neck. "Just make sure you have a better suit next time. One designed for wormhole based space travel." Tony let out a quiet laugh before pulling away to lead me back upstairs.

"Its kind of destroyed. But the bathroom still works. And the bedroom is fine." Tony rambled.

"We can rebuild. Its fine." I assured him. "I'm going to order food from that one Italian restaurant in Queens. Assuming its still there. We can have a bath while we wait for it." The doctor that Fury had sent up came into view and Tony paused. "But before all that, you are going to get checked out." He looked over at me with a frown. "Fury told me your heart stopped. You were dead Tony. Neither of us know what Hulk did but he brought you back. You owe Banner for that by the way. It was Rogers and Thor and we both know neither one of them would know the first thing about getting you out of that suit or the help you needed. So you are going to get looked over," I pointed a finger in Tony's face. "And I am going to assess the damage to our private area. Then we are taking a bath and eating and going to bed." I patted Tony's shoulder as the doctor came over before walking away to see if we would need to get a hotel for the night.

#tony stark #tony stark fanfic #tony stark x reader #tony stark imagine #tony stark fanfiction #robert downey jr #robert downey jr x reader #robert downey jr fanfic #robert downey jr fanfiction #robert downey jr imagine #iron man #iron man x reader #iron man fanfic #iron man fanfiction #iron man imagine

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jackiequick · 6 months

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The truth hurts, doesn’t it? | Agents Of SHIELD Fanfic

Summary: Everything good must have been an interesting lie underneath it all, waiting to be uncovered, but the question is how will you take it?

Pairing: Grant Ward x OC, Grant Ward & Amelia Parker (WardParker)

Setting: Captain America The Winter Solider and Agents Of SHIELD season 1

Spoilers for Agents Of SHIELD 1x17–1x20

Warning: Blood, mentions of anxiety, heartbreak, a bit of manipulation, betrayal

Characters mentioned: Nikolai, Marlene, Melissa, Coulson, Fury, May, Skye, Fitzsimmons, Tripp and The Young Avengers

——

It felt like madness. The air was thick and colder than they would’ve liked. The team was tired, confused and more or less worried. Trying to figure out what to do next and how to stick together while doing so. There were some agents coming in and out of the bunker, they were even set underneath an lie detector and all passed with flying colors.

The cell service was better than expect, they had food, water, and shelter that’s what matters.

It was a late afternoon when it happened.

Practically night.

Everyone was doing their own thing. Some were trying to rest like Fitz and Jemma, some were on computers doing research such as Skye, and others were training themselves for the bigger fight near the locker area.

Amelia felt on edge, these last few weeks it was like a nervous twitch creeping up on her waiting to snap. She wasn’t thinking straight about anything, as far as they knew Fury is dead. Hell, she wasn’t sure if Nikolai, Marlene, or Melissa were fully aware of the situation in place, even though she sent an critical message to them.

She knew that none of the young avengers or adults one had any clue about what exactly was happening, due to the truth of Coulson’s death was kept from most of them. But HYDRA creeping around wasn’t something truly hidden per say…

Sometimes she felt like it was this shivering headache that reached from the back of her neck toward the front of her forehead. This whole situation bothered her to the inch of her bones, this chilling adventure she didn’t remember signing up for in the first place.

Maybe she needed a nap? Watch a video to relax her mind? Hell, splash some water crossed her face to try and clear her head?

Walking past the supply room, she left oddly enough weary like she was missing something. It was just her anxiety seeping itself, as she thought. An odd feeling recklessly filled the rest of the area, as she scurried into one of the restrooms.

Closing the door behind her, she let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. Her joints hurt, twisting themselves into her shoulders as she rested her arms against the bathroom sink. Her vision went blurry for a moment, her back arched froward as she unzipped her jacket to breathe and roll up her sleeves.

She turned on the knobs as she splashed some cold water on her face, wiping her eyes browns and rubbed her eyelids facing the mirror for a quick second. She mumbled a few things to herself, wishing she was back on the bus with her friends like nothing happened, but she knew it couldn’t do a blasted thing about it. She grabbed an towel to dry her face, as she wiped her face out of the corner of her eye she noticed something that set her off.

An automatic sliding painting that was supposed to set to afternoon, was lowing a hushed flickering light. She clenched the towel against her fist stepping forward to notice an dagger, a small knife, stabbed into the edge of the painting. It was waiting to bent over and break, there was a hatch breathe in Amelia’s throat as she removed it from the placing.

The painting slid upwards to display a horrific glint of flickering lights as the slashing words ran across the screen. The sunset frame brushed against the wording in deep gashes.

Amelia blinked, gasping a shaky breath that catches in her throat. She shakes her head at the wording in disbelief, as if she couldn’t do anything but freeze. Her fingernails were pressed so hard against her palm, she would’ve drawn blood.

“N-no..” She mumbled underneath her breath, “..no, no..no!”

Suddenly her voice became so small, her eyes waters and her mouth went dry. The denial sinks in so fast, she stumbled back hesitant to run her fingers across the painting.

“It’s not him..” She muttered softly accidentally dropping the towel on the floor, unable to breathe once again and laced in shock.

Ward Is Hydra.

The words ran by her eyesight in pure shock. She thought it was a trick, some sort of joke being made to use her own wits against the team. Amelia heard people saying that Coulson or May might be Hydra, that even one of their agents might play a game to see who’s loyal or not.

Someone knew about this before her, but they couldn’t. They all passes every single test with—

An loud noise startled Amelia, hands of her hips as she ran her hands above her waistline stumbling out of the room shaking her head taking another glance at the sign. She practically slid down the hallway, tripped over her steps stopped inside one of the supply closets to find Jemma racing out of the room at the same time as she entered.

She narrowed her vision in confusion, sending a odd look to her teammates. They were field agents but also scientists and technicians who weren’t used to this whole thing, so it was understandable if they was uneasy with whatever they saw. But it couldn’t be that bad, right?

Wrong!

The moment she wiped her head inside the room, the sight would’ve had her screaming if it weren’t for her biting her buttons lip and gripping the doorknob. There was a blush of heated dripping liquid slowly hitting the floor from above, as her gaze followed it towards the red drops, her eyes widened.

Blood from a fellow agent, laying dead against the ceiling and high shelves. Their eyes were closed, killed in the late hours of the afternoon in a dark supply closet. Amelia was left in utter tears, silence and shockingly loud noise ringing in her heads. She felt hurt and heavy, wonder where the hell is the rest of the team.

Amelia felt like she might throw up, fumbling with her pocket trying to reach her phone as her other hand cover her mouth. She tried reaching Nikolai and no response, Marlene and no response and even Melissa had no single response. There was a mole in the bunker.

Skye was still upstairs doing research, as Amelia raced upstairs to face her as she whisper yelled, “Skye! What do you know?”

She looked up with a gasping glare, “I’m guessing you know?”

“Yes! And it’s not him..it can’t be him!”

“You don’t know that..Ward has lied to us, Amelia..he’s Hydra.”

“He lied to the team! But I have known that man for 4 years, Skye! 4 years!”

“You think I like this?! I fell for the man, I kissed him..I still think I love him..”

“Oh god..okay, maybe this is just a game right? Ward treats us different, something’s not right..”

“…you still feel like you love him, don’t you?”

“Well the truth hurts, doesn’t it Skye? We just gotta play along.”

“I’m already doing that, I feel hurt Amelia. But I’m gonna follow Ward, see what’s going on in his head and if something happens.”

“Okay, yeah..okay. I’ll try to see who I can contact and prepare for whatever Ward thinks he might pull..”

There was an unspoken sense of urgency in their eyes. Grant Ward is Hydra but that concern and confusion hurt both of their feelings.

Mainly Amelia’s heart.

It felt like the five stages of grief, sadness and anxiety was rushing across her veins. She felt alone, betrayed and abandoned, even though she wasn’t, it felt that way.

———

The next 48 hours was a world wind..

So many things happened, from unexpected agents trying ambushing the bunker and buildings to the news about some of their fellow agents dying protecting the property of SHIELD. No one knew who was right or wronged here, who’s good and who’s bad. Fitz and Simmons were off doing their own thing for Coulson, May have gone with a couple of glares, Tripp rushed off to get extra stuff, and John Garrets got into a fight with Coulson.

Hell, Skye was sharing a few short moments with Ward himself.

Honestly Amelia felt bad for Skye, she knew she felt deeply for Ward since their chemistry climbed upon the time they all spend together on the plane. She also knew Grant felt some very similar feelings for her, as he was teased about it from the team.

She was still trying to contact her friends but nothing came up, tears rising to be released. She felt nauseous, a little numb and bruised. As if she was in the middle of a hot flash.

Currently, she sat nearby couch of a decently small room with her head in her hands, tiredly sighing. The door gently opened as in came the man of the hour, noticing her downing look as he looked at the girl in concern.

He sat down beside her, leaning against one of the chairs and asked, “Sweetheart..are you okay?”

“Hm?” She replied, peeking in between her hands to look at him.

“What happened?”

“You really asking me that?”

He scoffed, “Yeah, I know what’s happening. I wish it wasn’t like this but we can’t do anything about it.”

“It feels like I’m being caught in a horror movie.” She added.

“What? Like Scream? Who’s the killer?”

“One of our agents..we don’t know who’s on our side or not.”

“More like multiple agents, you don’t know who is really involved in SHIELD or HYDRA. You probably think I can’t be trusted, Ames.”

“Ward, honey, I trust you. I do. But the question is, will you actually be telling me the truth or not..”

“I alway try to tell you the truth, even if it hurts.”

At that moment, she removed her hands from her face and turned to face him, “Oh really?”

He straightened his shoulders seeing the look on her face as he sighed, “Amelia, are you seriously asking me that?”

“Grant, you lied to me before about missions to keep me and the team safe. You could be lying to me right now.”

“And you lied to me more than once to keep me in the loop. I’m being honest here. Do you trust me?”

“Do you trust enough to tell me the truth?”

~~~

And there it was again. The line that has been repeatedly said by one another the moment they trained, to the times the group was on the road for missions. Even in moments of daring action, where it might result in something serious or stupid.

The glances, the nods, the smiles or smirks, the pointing and the questions..

Do you trust me?

It hurts how much those words carried so much, such as a heavyweight question to them.

~~~

They both sat there in silence. The silence was so loud, it was painful to even notice the smell of their perfume and cologne that filled the room. Ward could see the oddly wave of emotions that washed over her face, it honestly felt like he was ripping her heart out of her chest.

He hated seeing her upset, it’s why Grant practically took a beating from his boss, Garret, when the man told him how soft he gets around the people he cared for. And he won’t admit it but it’s true. Deep down he cared about Amelia, Daisy, Fitz and Jemma. He respected Coulson and May. Especially with how much time he spent with the team was placed into.

“Do you trust us? Did you even love me?” Said a small broken voice that belonged to Amelia, looking down at her hands, her fingers were laced with cuts and small gashes.

“Oh my god, Ames..” He replied, standing up as he went to sit down next to her grabbing her hand gently, “..of course, I trust you. You know I love you, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you if it meant you would feel like this.”

“I’ve known you for 4 years Grant. 4 years, I have stood by your side fighting on the ground and the skies to make sure everyone was safe, to come home safe and sound. As a team and now..”

“4 years and I don’t regret anything, none of our time together. I can explain whatever it is that is crossing your mind.”

She knows. He knows.

Amelia wiped her head over to see him and asked, “Can you?! Can you look me in the eye and tell me you are on the same team?”

“You weren’t meant to get hurt! You and I were always on the same team, don’t you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you!” Grant replied yelling, hesitant to let her hand go.

“I swear, you weren’t even on the same team to beginning with! You were loyal to HYDRA.”

“No. I wasn’t ever loyal to HYDRA, if anything I would say I’m loyal to Garret.”

“You killed people.”

“And you haven’t?”

“I..”

“The last few days you have shot down unexpected agents, not knowing if they were on your side or not. You and I are just trying to protect ourselves here! That’s all what we’re trying to do.”

“Were you ever gonna tell me?”

“Of course I was. Garret wanted you dead! I couldn’t let that happen! I’m trying to protect you here, I was just trying to protect all of us.”

“By keeping this secret from me? I know you are never one to talk about how you feel, but this..this should’ve been something you should’ve told me..”

“And have you act like this towards me? I told you years ago, I’m not a good man, Ames..and yet you stood by me. You and Skye decided to stay beside me no matter how bad it got.”

“And I said ‘yes you are.’ But right now, i just can’t imagine what I should and shouldn’t believe here. Was I pawned in your little lie, huh? Was I?”

At some point both of them were standing up, pacing the room grunting and groaning in annoyance. The room felt like it was heating up due to the argument that forming between them.

Tears were forever forming in her eyesight, running her fingers across her hair as her eyebrows furrowed as her glares softened. She was hurt, she more than hurt and her emotions were breaking in front of her. Tears that being hold back for more than 48 hours finally were getting to see the light of day.

He sighed deeply, wishing he didn’t see those tears, knowing that he will have to deal with Skye later on but this, he looked away from. His hands rested on his hips shaking his head, his anger was rising and his annoyance was taking form. This wasn’t the plan, she wasn’t supposed to get hurt. It wasn’t supposed to be personal for any of them.

“No. You weren’t ever part of the plan nor a pawn, Ames. Believe me, I didn’t expect you to come into my life and change things up!” Grant admitted closing his eyes shut, “It��s over. It’s done, i can’t do anything about it. For once in my life I wanted something that was for me, not Garret giving me orders here! And you came in, yes I lied to you but it wasn’t personal..I swear it wasn’t!”

“Oh, but i think it was! Please, Grant I’m begging you..you’re living a double life here! Getting so close, yet so far to people. I didn’t expect for you to come into my life but you did!” She admitted, “..you were..you lied to me. You lied to me. Don’t hurt Skye, more you than probably are already.”

“I won’t regret getting here and I won’t think about hurting Skye. But Ames, someday you will understand what i have gone through to keep you safe because I love you..”

“So why does it hurt so bad? What are you gonna do next? Lock me up in here? Because your definition of keeping me safe from it all sounds like a hell lot of lies..why?”

“Everything i ever felt for you was real, don’t you get it?! But I won’t betray Garret..”

“..because me and the team woke up a weakness inside of you. I..i don’t know what to think, or believe right now, alright?! I..i..”

Amelia felt weak, not like an agent of shield or anything. Just hurt, broken, betrayed as she crumbled underneath her feet about to walk away.

That was when Ward gently swiftly her back in effort to calm her down as she tried fighting back.

She tried pulling away, hitting him in the chest as hard as she could, causing him to stumble back regaining his stance. Grant just held her in his arms, grabbing her wrist as she repeatedly kept hitting his chest.

“Stop! Stop it, Ames!” Ward said, practically growled at her, “You’re embarrassing yourself here. I won’t kill you or our team, i promise!”

“You promise?” She said, mumbling and stopped hitting his chest, resting her forehead against his chest instead.

“I promise. You can tell them or shout it from the rooftops, but HYDRA is already here.”

“I failed..you failed me, Grant. HYDRA is here..oh god, there’s nothing else to say.”

“I know, baby. I know..”

She just cried into his arms, banging her fist softly again his best. He wrapped kept his embrace tightly, closing his eyes and kissed her forehead before walking away.

“W-where you going?” She asked.

“It’s for your own good, Ames.” He replied.

Without a second later, Grant speeded away out the door, locking the door behind him as you can hear Amelia screams and shouted trying to unlock it. He squeezed his eyes shut and made his out of the hallway.

Amelia grunted realized what he was about to do and scrambled to search for her phone, quickly she texted Skye a message.

‘He’s coming to you.’ She messaged

She responded, ‘On it. You okay?’

‘Will be..’

‘Okay.’

———

Amelia Parker was on the verge of tears once again, anger filling up her mind and conflicted onto what was happening next.

Her next move was informing Coulson, Hill and whoever else was online about what she knows from her research. At the same time, she tried finding a way out, possibly crawling across the vent.

“T-this is agent..Amelia Parker..we found one of the moles, Hydra is dead set of seeking into whatever corner they can. Garret is one of leaders, i don’t know who’s his boss but we need extra weapons, load up the power grids at every SHIELD Facility we can. You should know that Project Insight is part of it. Keep a-any updates coming from any scanners and detectors available. And most importantly, watch your six, you..you don’t know who is your friend or foe..” She said into her voicemail, messaging anyone on her contact list.

She knew that her voice message may have come out choppy or a bit rushed per say due to the sound of her voice, but it was all she can mange at the moment. It sounds like she was exhausted and most likely finished crying before starting that message.

She was practically locked in a bunker in what feels like the middle of nowhere, with not the best service but it manageable if you knew how to handle some technical problems. She just found out that the organization, she has been working for has a lot of issues and the people she thought she knew had more secrets than she ever expected…

Of course she was a mess!

Her only hopes were that she can get out here soon, and her message was sent out to her friends and fellow actual agents. Oh heavens, did she hope her friends and loved ones were safe..

——

Thank you for reading this! Tell me what you think about it

Please like, share, comment and reblog for more stuff like this

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ask-missparker · 3 months

Text

The shift in character change ~ Agents Of SHIELD Headcanons ⚔️

The surfing change in Amelia Parker, also known as Amy Morse is a subtle but gentle change that pushes her over the edge.

-> This was originally gonna go on the main blog but because this is about a agent of shield turned turned into something else, it only made sense to me to put it on here!!

— Small warning spoilers for Phase 1 & Phase 2 projects

- She joined SHIELD with the intent to help people the best as can, explore the possibilities that the world has to offer, use her natural skill set and grow as a person, making friendship along the way.

- In Iron Man 2, she cameos as a couple voice messages to Coulson and on vacation to Stark Expo with her family. Which is when The Drones attack happened, being physically hurt by one of them in fear as she rushed to help civilians to safety. She was fine don’t worry! A little traumatized but doing alright.

- She cameos in a few short moments in Thor as well. As she deals with Uncle Ben’s death too but she’s fine even if it bothers her, remembering he would want her to keep going.

- But The Avengers, is when the shift starts to happen more promptly, apart from the chaos of the film. Being one of the agents of the carrier, during Loki’s attack she has to try to rewire plans the entire time by sending out agents to take care of things.

- As she is running down the hallway, it’s when she hears on the radio and notices Coulson’s death by the hands of Loki!

- The god disappears and shakes everyone up, Amelia is just badly hurt as she watches Fury speak his last words to Coulson. It leaves a scar in her heart, having her friend and mentor fall during the attack. She acts like she’s fine but cries a little, trying straighten herself out.

- After The Avengers she is a little over the edge due to Coulson’s death, scaring nightmares of The Drone attack and SHIELD throwing work at her. So it keeps her busy with things to do.

- In 2013, is when things changed. Coulson comes back surprisingly and forms a team to discover the world post-Avengers 2012! And Amelia is signed to be there, reunites with her mentor/father figure, doing better. With that, the team grows with Fitzsimmons, Skye, May and her very good Grant Ward.

- Of course, Amelia has her ups and downs during season 1 of Agents Of SHIELD, pushbacks on missions, questionable moments with the team and exploring the unknown.

- But what completely pushes her over the edge is in 2014, second half of Agents Of SHIELD season 1, when everyone finds out Hydra was under their noses and tired of hiding in the shadows.

- Amelia is shocked, stressed out and questioning her every move. Not knowing who is on her side or not. She didn’t even pull her punches to protect herself and her teammates! A part of her regret not being more careful however it was understandable.

- Hell, Coulson brought them all to a bunker for their protection and to find a way to figure things out where at some point were put under lie detectors to make sure everyone was telling the truth about themselves. Everyone passed but there was still this lingering feeling something was off a couple of days later due to the situation.

- And when she thought she could take a huge break, she got the reveal that Ward is HYDRA! That’s what broke Amelia and pulled the plugs that pushed her over the edge, if she wasn’t already.

- She was extremely upset, conflicted and overwhelmed with emotions. Amelia was in denial and didn’t even have the heart to attack him, because as much as he lied to her. And gave his reasons to why he kept that secret. A part of her still loved him.

- Ward was passing out drama and trauma like it was hot cakes! Leaving a scar on everyone, including her. What’s even crazier than that, is that they didn’t kill him afterwards but kept him locked away in the SHIELD facility basement in New York City.

- Season 2, she deals with the aftermath of plenty Shield agents being Hydra ones, along with the new discovery that involves technology and human beings with possible abilities coming out of hiding.

- So she over the edge at this point, wearing a little more grays and blacks. Changing her hair to not be recognized in public. Amelia is helping to rebuild SHIELD headquarters with her team into what it once was, keeping secrets from The Avengers and boarding herself with work. Frequent missions and visits to Ward’s cell for answers to questions he might know, until they decide to have him moved somewhere else instead.

- And most importantly, Amelia undergoes an even more shocking turn of events due to shield discovery of alien, inhuman and mutant activity across the country. During an trip to Puerto Rico, one of islands underneath the caves held the rumbling ability to unlock unhinged truths. While Skye and Tripp were down there, in the mist of the explosive wave that resulted in Skye’s odd transformation, Amelia was effected in the blast getting hurt as she watched Tripp die. But that wasn’t the only thing that happened…

—

I could add more stuff but we would be here for a while, I’m more than happy to answer questions for Amelia’s journey 📝

Let me know what you think 💭 btw don’t worry old OG Ames is coming back lol

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#agents of shield #agents of shield incorrect quotes #ask missparker #shield agents #the avengers #iron man 2 #phase 1 #phase 2 #phil coulson #grant ward #marvel oc

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