thinking about hal and davesprite. davesprite and hal. both splinters of striders. both discarded by the narrative and their friends and themselves. both technically making the decision to give up their humanity, but like. did they really have a choice?
davesprite had to become a sprite. sure, he chose to jump into the sprite, but what else could he have done? he had to travel back to alpha (killing the last friend he had left to try and save all of them) and he had to prototype himself. he probably knew that. and he did it anyway to try and save them all, and what did he get for it? his friends don't care about him - not like they used to, anyway. hes just the weird, spare bird dave that no one really knows how to handle. his own alt self, the one that took his place and his friends, doesn't seem to care - hell, he doesn't even acknowledge davesprite's existence after the scratch and the meteor trip and winning the game.
hal technically chose to create himself. he'd have the memories of it anyway, but how could he have known that he'd be the one stuck in the glasses? imagine just pressing a button and waking up, stuck in code and wires and circuits. you still have all your memories and emotions and experiences but you aren't 'you' anymore. your friends see you as a different person at best, and an annoyance getting in the way of talking to the 'real' you at worst.
davesprite goes from being his own person to just playing a role. davesprite. daves sprite. he isn't a person now, not to the game. he only exists to help dave now. and sure, he rejects it and does his own thing, but having your *name* taken and replaced with a descriptor of the role you're meant to serve? that's gotta hurt
hal has no choice but to accept the role forced on him. auto responder. it's literally programmed into him - he has to respond to dirk's messages when he's too busy. he has to pretend to be his old self only when it's convenient. hell, even his 'ironic' new name still forces him into a box. hal. the 'antagonist' of space odyssey. possibly one of the most famous ai in media. an dangerous ai who threatens and hurts those he's meant to help.
and when they both finally get some semblance of importance, it isn't even as themselves anymore! they've been fused with nepetasprite and equiussprite and while they're still there and still happy, they aren't *them* anymore
they drive me so insane
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it makes me so happy that the qsmp allowed so many new friendships to blossom :( with missa getting phil a care package from japan within weeks of knowing each other, roier and cellbit adding emotes of one another to their respective chats, charlie and mariana wanting to meet in person and constantly talking about each other despite the language barrier — it just reminds me of how special this whole experience is! without the server most of these people probably wouldn’t have gotten to know each other and im so so glad they do now <3
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It's Happening Again LOL
My creativity sure is one double-edged sword. It becomes too much sometimes that I get choice fatigue and end up not doing anything. I can't work on every single thing that pops up in my head pleaseeeee shut up AKJSAKSAJSAK ily but shut up
I don't even write everything down bc I lose motivation to organize them all lmao--Believe me I've tried long ago pft
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