Juuuuuuuuuuust thinking about the fact that I'm laying over the side of my bed right now, ass pointed up and out, super relaxed. And, at any time, some random hot butch could just come over and just grab me and force my ass up higher, pull down my jeans and boxers, and strap or finger me to heaven....
I'm too much! I want to track your phone so I always know where you are. I want to pick out your outfits so we can always match. I want to cook all your meals so I can feed you every bite. I want to hold your hand all the time so we're always touching. I want to kiss you always so I can breathe you in. I'll spam your DMs so you only ever hear from me. You can hate! You can ignore me! You can hit me! Cheat on me! I'll come right back every time! I'll be such a good boyfriend!
please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please love me! let me love you!!
not a futch but a butch with some feminine aspects, a butch who fucking hates pants and thats why they wear a skirt, a butch who wears makeup and black lipstick and paints white freckles on their face cause well Fuck I'm cute that way, a butch who adores their friends and is as soft and tender with them as can be
But also a butch who manspreads on the train in their skirt, a butch who swears like a sailor and will curse you out in a heartbeat, a butch who gets their hands dirty without a second thought, a butch, a butch who goes to punk shows and makes sure their kin know they are safe far more than letting the enemy know I hate them, a butch who is hairy and handsome and beautiful.
Not a futch, but allowed to be femme. To be soft. To wear a dress if they want. Still butch, still a dyke, still me.
For anyone wondering how Dream can be so reliant on his 3 tools to the point that he can't rebuild his kingdom without them, just imagine yourself losing your phone, your wallet, and your keys
inspired by this tweet @jaylaxies sent and the conversation that followed after with the girls LOL shoutout to the people who can’t/don’t sing and/or are tone deaf 🫡 this is for you ❣️
warnings: like 2 crude jokes, a kms joke, and ur general dumbassery between two (in love) dumbasses. Take a shot every time you read ‘sing’ and ‘tone deaf’.
note: feeling kinda rusty with this it’s been so long since i dabbled in smaus 😭 i usually don’t post one-shots like this lol but hey! Hope you had a little giggle as I did with the girls talking about the fancall 🥲 (we were half mourning)
For those out of the fruit loop (I'msosorry) (and for those in, Iamalsosorry)
There once was a coconut
And a pineapple too and They're Dream Pajamas to Greygold
The illithid has feelings. Withers was wrong. I repeat. The. Illithid. Has. Feelings.
I believe it was at this moment that I decided when this is all over, I would like to keep buddy squid in the squad. Forever.
With Lae'zel.
...Somehow.
The universe said illithid and githyanki are arch-enemies with only hate, cruelty, and death for one another. Greygold laughs while holding a coconut in one hand and a pineapple in the other, and says "not with that attitude"
Also. Look. The emperor doesn't. doesn't have the heart to explain to Greygold how astral space works. CAN"T EVEN EXPLAIN HOW TIME WORKS THERE HOW DOES IT WORK SQUIDDY????